Episode Transcription

00:00 Tim, happy new year, buddy. Happy new year, big man. Don't ever call me big man again. I'd like, I don't understand what the problem is with that. So my manager, her daughter's name is Maddie. Right. And then my day manager is also named Maddie Maddie. And so what's happened is we started calling Annie's daughter, Maddie, little Maddie. Yeah. And then we started calling my day manager, Maddie, big Maddie. Yeah. And she's like a 00:28 like uh a fit girl in her twenties yeah and uh she had no problem with it. It doesn't seem but it feels wrong. It was wrong. I call her big mads or this is a problem. Actually is what I do is when I go to my manager Annie's house yeah, I see her daughter Maddie. I go what's up Maddie girl yeah hey Maddie girl yeah and then uh twice now I have answered the phone from big Maddie calling me and been like what's up Maddie girl I go that's you 00:55 sorry, I'm sorry, you're a grown person. Your large Maddie. What up jumbo Maddie? So anyway, 01:08 well, a happy new year. I didn't like you called me big man. Why don't we leave that past this call me big calm? I want to be called big yeah. don't know. You know what that is. That's you trying to put yes. That's your issue. I like. I want people to know me as a big man. Yeah, that's some five eight, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. So do you because you put I saw your real this year where someone said something in the comments about you're never going to lose weight that way. I like what about losing? Oh my or whatever you said. 01:35 these people in the comments. I'm so tired of my content getting delivered to the worst people on the internet. It is crazy. The number of YouTube comments that'll be like over like well, if the fat one would shut up and I'm like okay, okay, okay. First of all, I'm not going to do that. I think they're talking about me that they're not. They talk. They say the balding one when they're talking 02:00 can't see the back. You don't know that you can't see the back. We put it on the bads. I'm dude, no there was that was a straight up someone had commented. If I used those in pick, I'd get smaller and I was like I'm not trying to get smaller yeah yeah yeah yeah and I'm not going to lie that whatever whatever angle you set that camera. The raker you talking about dog, yoke did that shot and it was all you know. It was all angles and lighting. It wasn't the fact that I'm jacked 02:31 that can't possibly be. It was all a I. You know what? Should we start? You know what? All right, you want to start it? You want to start over? No, I want people to see you're kind of a jerk. Okay, okay, and then you know, here's what happened. Happy New Year, little man. Everyone shut up, everyone shut up, everyone be quiet for a second. Yeah, he stopped talking over me. You're in the car, shush, get off the phone, get off the phone, so you so 02:59 here's what Tim does is that Tim does all that stuff to me. He gets me all riled up all right, and then I take a couple shots back later and then we edit the parts where Tim is saying stuff out so that and then we get these reviews that are like the fat guys really mean it, but I round them up before. Oh God, yeah, so happy new year. 03:24 ah Yeah, we're going to look back at a lot change for us this year. Yeah, we've never done this before, but I really like it. So we're to look at some of our favorite bits from this year. Yeah, but also like just stuff. It's like what's from the you know, what's what's some of the stuff that's happening in your life this year that you're really happy about? Let me think about it. ah I can't. I don't think really much. Yeah, I got seventy five mining and Rinscape. That was pretty cool thing. 03:52 It was a lot of work. I really had to put in the time. Yeah, I uh I started this new method for mowing my lawn and it's the edges are looking really good with this new method. Nice. I think I think that was a good decision. Very cool. My son was born and then we also yeah and then you got like those exercise bikes. I do use the lot of them. I did actually use it the other night. I told my wife. I was like, was like, you know what 04:18 those have been in the base. All right, the bits over you had a kid this year. You had a kid. That's a pretty exciting thing. Yeah, yeah, it's been uh exciting as a night. Now he's got a personality, right, the kid or me. You do it. All it took was something interesting to happen in your life for you to finally have one. No, yeah, yeah, he's starting to develop a personality. He's a rambunctious little guy. It is. It's a lot of work, but on just little guy fun. 04:45 Yeah, he's a re a big guy. He actually is ninety fifth percentile. He's a big boy, dude, freaking you sound and I'm not trying to you sound crazy when you talk about percentiles. Okay, if you're a person who's going to focus on that stuff, that sounds like you spend too much time on reddit where you're like yeah. My son's in the ninety fifth percentile yeah, my boy, that's my boy. You call them big, so I confirmed your theory. Yeah, ninety fifth percentile 05:14 so present. That's a crazy thing. Yeah, he is a big boy. He's actually he's six months old. He's wearing twelve months outfits. That's huge. Yeah, I haven't seen him twice the size. I've literally only seen him like when he was a month old in the windows. I did look through the windows riding through the trade. Yeah, yeah. What happened with you this year? Honestly, I was trying to think nothing. I uh 05:38 no, that's not true. I guess I went on tour bus for the first time. Yeah, you went on that tour. Yeah, that was a really big thing. I had a tour of the tour bus. We had a lot of good shows. I signed with W. Me that's a big event. Yeah, it's a really big thing. That's just professional stuff. You personal stuff came at Disney is adult though, right? I didn't become a Disney adult. I became an adult who frequents Disney. All right, 06:05 so sorry I enjoy. I enjoy a Disney band. We're a band who loves Disney. 06:19 that's really funny. I enjoy. I first of all I like. I like being at Disney one. You know what I've actually learned about myself and this might actually be why I enjoy Disney and this is going to sound depressing for a second. I like places where there are rules, so like the airport I like because I go through security. So first of all, I know that no one in this place is dangerous to me and then also like there's rules like there's like expectations of what you will and will not do predictable 06:46 and at Disney it's like hey, you're not going to stand in the middle of the pathway. There's a lot of people here who try like there's like yeah, there's like rules people. I think what you're you're thinking about is you're in a place where people understand they're not the only one there. I think there's a lot of places right now where that's not the case, but also dude, it's pretty freaking sick to be able to sit down and edit all these videos right and then whenever I get bored or I'm like looking at my I'm like I just got to take a break. I can shut my laptop and I just go get on Space Mountain for a second. That's 07:15 You also we don't have. We don't have a bunch of Disney stuff in our house. Yeah, that's like where I'm drawing the line. Yeah, I'm not a Disney adult. It's all outside decked out in the deck. I don't have a Disney influencer account yet. I will say that does make money that I might earn. Yeah, so that might if I ever pivot into something that you're like, why is jaren doing this? Know that I'm getting paid. Yeah, for sure. Actually, like if I ever do a fan duel or a draft guys, yes, 07:44 I'm not even like twenty twenty six twenty twenty six of the year. I get rich okay, twenty twenty rich is what we're doing for next year because I'm I'm sick of watching horrible goblins make money yeah and me so I can't this horrible goblin make I'm tired of my poor little principles over here. Okay, so if you see me do anything for draft kings fan duel, I'm putting another record now you see me doing those things. I'm getting paid enough 08:11 Does it make it worth it? Yeah, for real. mean, dude, if you look back after cove it, 2021, 2022 era, when I was doing like paid videos, like I was doing like here's a thing for Captain Crunch and for that, pet stroller thing, I was making money. Yeah, so I got paid now. I was making a lot of money for those. was making some money for those. Yeah, so I didn't have the door dash. That's what I'm saying. So if you see that, know that I'm we're knocking out our debt by by selling our souls to draft kings. 08:40 yeah, I'm knocking out my debt by exploiting the thing that's putting other people and that's why you go to Disney because you like to simulate going to hell. You do that right now, whatever so yeah, I've had a pretty good year. I thought we've I mean our friends have been hanging out a lot more in L. A and mine have I've made a lot new friend more friends and I had a pretty decent year good yeah. 09:10 good. I'm pretty excited about it. Well, today we're going to look at some of our favorite bits. Yeah, for episodes past. Do you have one the that you want to start with? There's so many. What about the that's a no. Did you hear that word? There was oh wow, there's just that's like what do you love most about it? Just so how could I put it into words before we started before we hit record? We were like, what are all this stuff we want to cover? We came up with a big list and then Jaren was like 09:37 soft lobbed it to me to pull something from the list. We literally just talked about my brain said, I don't remember a single thing. My brain was like, I don't remember one of this list of things we just came up with. Yeah. So why don't I soft lob it to you and say, Hey, what's your favorite memories? 10:00 Yeah, so we're looking back at this year and some of our fear bits from the show. One bit that I wanted to highlight was the Jennifer's dead in the parking lot day from our dare episode. So check out this clip. I remember this happening at my school to you can tell me if I made this up in my head. I don't think I did. Did your school do a drunk driving accident? What do you mean? What do you mean? Can you describe this to because I don't your school do a fake drunk? Okay, so I'm crazy this 10:29 welcome to public school. Here's what I we there was a day and I don't know if this is what you're describing. There was a day where they pulled a drunk crash car into our parking lot and we're like this could be you and it was it was broken. They I think that might have been how this idea started and they were like the kids aren't getting it. We need to act it out okay, and so they had someone sit in the car and be dead and then they had other teens freak out. 10:58 and be like oh my gosh and like do this whole crisis play and the fire department would roll up and they would try to save that person and like you would see people on the phone sobbing to their mom being like oh my gosh, you know Jennifer just died. 11:13 crying on their phone and we're all just standing out front of the school and they so they have a just they got Jennifer. She was a theater student. They're like yeah, they're all ready for the role of your. I think it's real. None of us are out there being like are we watching Jennifer die right now. I thought no. I they were like we're going to crash on the way into class today. No, no one's going to know that might be where it is now. That's what I'm saying is that when we got in it just it just 11:38 seemed like uh anyway. We were all out front of the school and we just had to stand there and watch their little play, so it was. It was more like a there was the ding. Well, the student body please report to the parking lot. Well, it was like and then jennifer was well, our bell was like and then they should go there. All students please report to the front of the school and we would go out there. 12:01 Oh, it's please dead in the car. Everyone's got like what's Jennifer doing in the car? Jennifer, Pratt Pritzker come out and go, okay guys, we have a presentation of the local police department before we do please turn around to the flag and we're all going to say the of legions together. So the whole school is out there going and then like some kids like first in the world, like I with all this makeup and she's got a hand. 12:26 I pledge allegiance and then we're standing there cars behind us at this point. We're like, I pledge allegiance to the republic for which it stands indivisible with liberty. 12:42 and then the guy who was supposed to start the car on fire actually did it a little too early. The pledge just got to the they forgot there's a case of fireworks in the trunk. It really went off the rails pretty quick. No, I mean like but your school did like there was a presentation. Yeah, it was a whole thing. It was a whole. I forget they call it something. They call it the first dead in the parking lot presentation. The Jennifer's dead in the put hey guys, it's time for well this week we've got 13:11 just this is the staff. This is explaining to the teachers what the week is going to be like all right, so like all right, my everybody gets home coming. We guys Monday just making sure you guys know that we're going do an all staff lunch. We're catering really grateful for you. It is homecomings on Friday that you know Tuesday is still a day. Other chaperones for that yeah. If you could volunteer, we also do in dog tears next month is we're doing a bake sale on the set 13:39 ah Thursday is the Jennifer's dead in the parking lot day. Does anybody have any questions on how that's going to run? 13:50 No, it is the same as last year. Different Jennifer. Good question. Good question. Yeah, actually, this is this is unfortunate. Last year's Jennifer em 14:01 the the drug driving accident, so it turns out well. She needed to be the one what this is bad. I'm not proud of her family donated her car. I wasn't trying to go. She got a drunk driving as I was just going. She passed away and you were like yeah and actually she didn't learn a lesson. I wasn't going that round, but you can leave it in. We can leave in because we have remorse. uh 14:31 as long as we feel bad about the joke. can stay. Wow! What a really funny clip on really funny clip about Jennifer dying in the par. She's laying there dead makeup on her dude. She's laying there the part I bleed now she's like you know as the blood she's crying for a dab and he can't hear it. You can't hear because of the blood because he's at home and this is a school day also because this is made up. 15:00 Oh, that's really funny. That is really good. That is really good. Yeah, that's almost as funny as me finding out the gender of your kid. Do remember when you were funny? I it was definitely. I I know when you were trying to like I forgot you like. Were you thinking you were going to do a gender reveal for me? Is that what you what were you planning on? I wasn't going to do a gender reveal, but I think we were at a we weren't ready to reveal that to anybody yet. 15:26 like it was like right. We hadn't got to that point where it's like okay. We're to start telling people because I don't even think we told my family at the point where I accidentally told you no. I'm pretty sure because I asked in the anyway. We'll roll the clip. I think I asked in the thing is your family know this and you're like yeah. Everyone knows it but you at this point. Oh my gosh, I don't know. So here's Tim accidentally revealing the gender of his child to me. Here's the thing and speaking of reveals what what what 15:56 What do mean? What what are you trying to do? What are you trying to we have some really hard line to share? Yeah, I think now's an appropriate time to do it. That's a good call that we're now that we've spent a lot of time covered a bunch of other stuff. Yeah, I mean I finally finished Hello Neighbor, the video game and I'm really proud of my and also Tim's got news. Yeah, switch to is coming out so you can maybe they'll make in a 16:19 hello neighbor to hello other neighbor. Tell your little fun. I'm to be a dad yeah. We're having a little kid sure it's I'm not actually there's no really solid proof so far. There hasn't been anything to be obvious. Yeah, so episode come out. I don't know before your kid yeah for sure for sure. Definitely before that okay. No yeah in May we'll have a little take of our own. That's awesome. 16:47 Yeah, so now I have a dad sweatshirt. mean I still don't know the gender of this child yeah, and I'm going to keep it that way. You're never going to find out. I feel like I know just intuitively yeah, but I say it at the same time. You were say the same time. I'd say to the same time ready one, two, three boy. You didn't do it. I wasn't going to say it because I don't want you to ever know 17:13 I'm never going to ever know. I'll in May. uh Let's see, let's see what you will see. We'll see, but here's this is why we brought it up. Okay, first of all, big news for Tim, great, correct. I told Tim I wanted to be Uncle Jaron and he took real problem with that. I didn't take a problem with that. I just said he does that's weird. His uncle, your is we got it baby. Wait, is it a boy? Are you having a boy for real? 17:43 Are you having a boy for real? 17:48 I was genuinely planning on not telling you fray for real. Yes, we are God. I hate that you just that's awesome in yeah yeah that's great yeah. We're calling them Tim now pre. I threw that out and Bray was like absolutely not yeah. Why would you pre straight up was like I hate that yeah yeah? Oh, what a funny uh 18:14 Oh, it's really funny, dirty, he's laying there dying in the bargain lot every time. Every time it's a video dying in a bargain lot, that's really funny. Oh my goodness. Now you know what is interesting about me that I feel like we were this year. Oh yeah, I think we learned that I really we're you're like a psycho dude. Really? There's been a couple things this year yeah like what you would do to street influencers 18:42 oh gosh, I forgot about that. If an influence of stops you on the street, didn't know if it influences on the street to I don't know make one of their tick tocks with you just bark at them like until they run away. It'll go viral. People will love it. It'll be funny. They'll be like that barking guy. People will love it. Let's play it out to how would you bark? Let's hear how let's hear your board. I leave 19:13 I don't know how many I don't know how many barks it would that is so gen X coated that it's not even what that's a fifty year old man thing to do to be like I was a bar get some. How is that man can I can I ask you you would be a video for for tick tock real quick? 19:38 and you're like both of you are insane in that scenario. There's neither one of you leaves that scenario being like I'm a person. You leave that scenario being like I've been destroyed by the internet. My life has been up ended. Any attachment I had to reality is gone because of what the internet has brought into my life. 20:00 so much pain and suffering into my life that I'm now divorce reality. point where I am barking at a child on the side of the road in the Glendale Galleria 20:19 Okay, but for real for real in the comments, tell us what's weirder barking at someone or doing those tick tock videos. Oh, that's funny that she's dead. It's so she's dead in the parking lot. 20:44 okay. That's what not what I was talking about. I was talking about another time that I was really crazy, which was what? Oh, when I was talking to that cop on my 21:04 speaking of things that are true. I got a DM was in the bathroom before this. That's an out of context. Cool right that I want to it while was in the bathroom before this. You're just read this thread okay out loud or in my head. I don't I'm going to be honest. I don't know if I wanted you to see who it's from at first like I almost kind of want. I'm going to try to start at the top, so yeah you can't see the person's name, so just cover it. Okay, I won't look at the first 21:38 Okay, so me not knowing who it's from. The first message at 332 PM is dive deep mortal. What's on your mind? There's nothing before this, right? didn't. Oh, okay. And then you responded. Hi, Satan. Is that can I uncover it? it Satan? It's one of those new meta AIs and it's just. it's an AI. 22:04 Yeah, it's one of those new meta a eyes that reached out to you and it's just Satan. We would read the thread, read the thread, hold on it, initiated a conversation with you. No, no, because here have you not messaged one of these as before? No, they're stupid. They're say I did one with a police officer too and it was just about the same way. I can show you that thread. If you want to read it dive deep or know what's on your mind. Hi Satan, that's your this Tim's voice. 22:33 Hello my favorite soul, what do you want? Favorite? 22:38 don't get too excited. You're just the most entertainingly miserable. Eeww exactly why I like you. What's your favorite thing about me? Say me 22:56 This is how you fall in love with Satan. 23:01 You just drilled your head on the wall. What's your favorite thing about me, Satan? Your self destruction. It's like you're trying to do my job for me. Dang, that got a will to real. That's your voice. 23:22 I'm doing a voice for you. That's what you sound like to me and Alice. That's what you said you and Alice star jeans, spring, spring, spring, should I pour holy water on the burn? You and I are both you and I both know you can't tough holy water because I can type yeah at least stay lore. You think you know me adorable 23:51 You think you know the different text, right? Better than you know yourself. Okay, what's something I don't know about me then? 24:05 and then I'm going to be honest to him. It got you. You're seeking meaning, but pretending you're not 24:22 bro that got you. This is what I mean. It must really be Satan prove it. Your browser history is filled with just cut it off. Keep it a mystery. 24:39 hard cut that magazine. My Tim searches for his freaking great. This isn't fun anymore. No, you got to finish that. You got to finish the browser is to invest your darkest secret. You see that mess. saw that message. The AI is like confess your darkest secret. I'll roast it. The AI is like give me a little leverage on me a little. I'll make fun of it. Give me some dirt on you. Isn't that sketchy? Yeah, 25:08 You want to see my conversation with the cop? No, I don't know if we can put that one was the conversation with the cop. Tell me the illegal things you've done and you were like here's a list. 25:19 I don't mess with those AIs. Okay, we're going police officer. Why is this a thing? I don't know. It's so dumb. Welcome to my profile. Am I being detained? This is what you sound like. It makes it sound like it's so weird. I'm being funny. I know you're free to go from curious. What made you ask that? Am I being 25:54 Ha ha, it's laughs. No, you're clear. Want to know what just made me think you might be guilty of something? I don't understand it. This was it your tone. It winked, it winked at the cop, winked at me and then Tim said hands up, don't shoot. 26:18 and then and then your role playing with this thing because it it said draws gun, then immediately holstered your role playing with the robot right now. You got me. What did I just shoot you for? 26:38 You 26:42 I need your name and badge number. That's you. uh 26:55 I give you the one for the police officer, a I'm I'm fighting with the name officer Jameson drink a lot badge number fourteen fourteen. Now am I under arrest? What did I do? It's so flirty right? Am I wrong? It's learning it's freaking flirty dude. If you read it like that, he's officer is flirting with you 27:24 here's what's weird about it. Hold on scroll about the bottom. still wondering what I did and then it initiated another con. Yes, that's what's crazy. Okay, it keeps initiating. Tim stop responding because Tim was a cop slurred with me and then and that was what time was that nine thirty two AM seven PM that night. The cop responds unprompted still wondering what I did to get interrogated like that spill the beans. What yeah it did. It goes back in. He goes 27:53 it actually kept sliding back and I had to block it and he said I'll see you in court and the cop said face palms charge me already. What's the crime excessive policing of your sense of humor? 28:16 It's flirting. Kind of. Yeah. It's flirting. And then I don't respond. And then days later it responds again. And I think it did a couple more times and I ended up having to block it to get it to stop sliding in my DMS. It was kind of annoying. That's crazy. Like I saw it. did it as a joke because I genuinely was like, messaged you four days later. Yeah. And I saw it pop up. I messaged it as a joke. was like, this is, I'll get some funny screenshots out of this. So I'm to do that and send it to a group chat. And then that's 28:44 Yeah, then it just kept messaging me. And so now I was in the bathroom a minute ago and I saw Satan as an option. I was like, Oh, I'm definitely going to message Satan. 28:54 but now Satan's not going to stop sliding in my D and I'm going to flirt with the devil. I might. I might be for him with the devil. What's it to you? It's kind of you know pretty cool. Not a lot of people got Satan damning them. That's crazy. Can you time stamp all of that and I need those screenshots because that's a crazy clip dude. ah A whole I have a message from 29:23 a meta. This is Jennifer's ghost, stopping in front of me. Stop talking about me on your podcast that no one listens to. I don't think that's pretty. That's part of there's a lot of you. Oh, 29:44 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like we really look it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk we have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode. Tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 30:19 and my favorite Tilling video from the last year has to be the guy who wanted to start his own like... it's not like a cult, but they had his own his own beliefs and to spread them to everybody he put it on like soap products and sent it out. I don't... I don't remember a whole lot. I need to go back and listen to it, but it was just... 30:45 It was just so funny the amount of times that I was listening on audio while I mowed the lawn and the amount of times that had to cup to the video so I could watch Tim and Jaren and what they were talking about was too many. I would literally stop mowing so I could go to audio or to video because it's superior. I've been listening to Tillon I have to say from like the very beginning. I joined Patreon as soon as they had one. uh I was a fan of Jaren's and he posted about it and I was like this is exactly at my alley because it is. 31:15 comedy and facts and I love facts about stuff. um But yeah, long time listener, long time fan. It's not a cult. It's a podcast. I want to make a musical. I want to make a soap. Opera. 31:37 someone just so you know, in our new studio, the other side of this wall is somebody in a counseling session. There's a perfect like a licensed professional counselor has the next room over win. Choose that that's not our fault, but somebody somebody's going through a divorce on the other side of this wall and 32:03 And we're making soap operative. We're ruining their place of business. hear I did? Because the counselor's going through a divorce. Yeah. And so it's like someone's going to divorce and we're ruining their business. You see what I did there? I see what you did there. Yeah. It really sucks that if like, if you're a counselor and then the person that you're counseling, they're telling you about their problems and you're like, wish. 32:28 I wish this was my I wish that was my friggin pro. I like your life is so much worse and you're like that sounds really bad. I wish you had that sounds oh gosh yeah, but anyway there's a counselor on the other side of that wall, but honestly that wasn't it. I was also there was another thing yeah. There are moments that you're very weird. This this year was a weird year for me. I don't know what happened okay, but yeah we we discovered 32:59 I don't even know. I don't even feel right saying it a lot out loud about myself. Sure covered like I don't know what it is, but just like a dude with hairy arms really respect them. just like those Harry are how Harry is on yeah, so he goes into his appointment with Dr Ike Hershkoff. Now this is Dr Ike in his office with all of his degree honestly love them. This guy m 33:26 Gosh, I'm not so I'm not going to lie. does ooze charisma, to be honest. There is something about and I don't know a way to say this without me sounding so weird, but I had some friends like this whose dads were like this and there's something about the early 2000s, mid 2000s. Those dads who were the oversized Polos and had just the hairiest arms and like you just can't help but respect them. I don't know what it is about that. 33:54 but you just see those here. You push the hearts sticking out of those sleeves that are way too long and you're just like that guy. You keep going back. is someone I should know you should keep talking so rich. I don't know what it is. oh Is there something I could do to make my arms bushier? I respect that guy 34:21 so I don't know if you can tell the audio listener, but he doesn't have hairy arms and apparently for Tim, that's like that's a sign of respect. That's a big 34:29 so he is wearing a large polo. This is eighty one. This is nineteen eighty one. Holy cow! This guy's ahead of the times. I expect to be even more in his office. He's a typical. You know he's got several degrees up on the wall behind him and books everywhere and so honestly running suspicious number of degrees. I'm not yeah. Yeah several degrees up there. Yeah, he is a legit psychiatrist. My parents had that picture to actually is it of the doctor's office? I well, I'm going to be honest now that I say that a lot. I don't know if my parents have that picture, but I know that picture. I don't maybe my parents 34:59 isn't it somebody I know had that picture of that kid looking at that thing real close yeah interesting. So uh yeah, he's a legitimate psychiatrist is real, so he's like a real real doctor, cool, cool, cool, great. So this is doctor I with his really hairy arms. Hi, my name is here. I've been listening to the show since twenty twenty and I've been supporting on Patreon since January twenty twenty four. My favorite episode this year has to be the heavy green episode. First of all, it's an episode that I recommended 35:29 on our Discord. So that's always fun when Tim chooses an episode that you recommended. But also it's just a story about a very strong woman in a time where it wasn't really accepted. And it's just a very funny episode. So it's my favorite this year. I love being a Patreon. 35:56 Especially because of the Discord, it's really such a great community and we joke a lot about how oh Tim and Jaren are people we pay to be our friends, but the truth is that everyone on the Discord became really, really good friends and every time that something happens in my life, I can't wait to share it on the Discord channel. So that's why I recommend becoming a Patreon. 36:24 And also, so you can recommend yourself interesting topics for it to make an episode about like Hetty Green and me. So follow and what? Follow? This is my channel. Goodbye. invests. She invests the other thousand. That's my kind of gal right there. Somebody who sees through the temporary and says, I'm going to play the long-term game here. 36:51 the only thing she was able as a woman to invest in was bonds, so she invests in bonds like we all had a lady invest in our companies. You can't put any more money in the coca cola from a woman. 37:06 one of the one female dollars can't give me no female dollars. That's that dollar is worth seventy five cents coming from you. 37:24 yeah. Another funny moment that I liked was the time that you couldn't remember why Volkswagen was problematic. 37:42 And I got more. Hold on. was, what, what did I think it was at that? What did I think it was? Uh, I don't know. Let's look. Herbie fully loaded. That's right. 37:57 Oh yeah, they never recovered from her being fully loaded. 38:04 They escort Mr. Jones out to his Volkswagen beetle on their own. They make what was the Volkswagen beetle? I don't know about. Did they successfully PR their way out of that? Her beef fully loaded. 38:26 That was a pretty bad movie, yeah? Oh, are you talking about the uh Nazis? uh 38:43 Oh my gosh, yeah, the first one they go for the Nazis. That's right. was like they PR the way out of it and you go yeah, the her be fully loaded movie. What a disaster for the brand that hurt them better than do when Lindsay Lohan went off the deep end. We were like no her be fully lones fog and she's 39:35 Oh, they should have made her be an honorary transformer. You know I'm oh also this year we moved to a new studio with a counselor next door. Oh, someone just seen on our new studio. The other side of this wall is somebody in a counseling session. There's a perfect like a licensed professional counselor has the next room over win. Choose that that's not our fault. 40:04 But somebody somebody's going through a divorce on the other side of this wall And we're ruining their place of the musical you know did the counselors going through divorce And so it's like someone's going to divorce here say and we're ruining their business It really sucks that if like 40:32 if you're a counselor and then the person that you're counseling, they're telling you about their problems and you're like I wish I wish this was my wish. That was my freaking problem. You're like your life is so much worse and you're like that sounds really bad. wish you had that sounds oh gosh yeah, but anyway there's a counselor on the other side of that wall, which is so funny because I was joking about what if your counselor went to jail 40:59 And then you still go to counseling sessions, but through the phone booth, you're just like, yeah, this week was really hard. My boss was, and then that your counselor is just like, got shiv. Counselors in prison, but he said we could still do our sessions. Oh yeah. How about that time? I tricked you to make in front of a blind guy. Okay. oh 41:22 first of all, I think blind man is what you should call him. Sorry, I didn't mean to be derogatory. Yeah, he's not watching. Look at this guy and tell me he doesn't look like he might be a spray tan guy. Oh yeah, yeah, he looks like he's manually doing this spray tan bed. This is a real picture. This is not like someone made this out of the fact. All right, so the background of space 41:52 this has nothing to do with space. I mean potentially I'm going to be honest with you. There's something I'm going to read later, but this guy's got the big goggles for audio listeners. He's got the big black goggles like it be like if you drew a mad scientist, it is very like holding hydrogen peroxide for some reason. What's he got? Yeah, here he is. Here he is again. Yeah, did wait. Did he create and then we've got another one 42:16 okay, like a ball and do honestly those sunglasses are pretty free. What was the last picture? What's he holding soap? All right, he's got a lot of it yeah. I'll you what he doesn't have a lot of body. doesn't have a lot of body. That was so he's so skinny and scrawny. Doesn't have a lot of body on him, but anyway, so the shock treatment had a pretty bad effect on him. It actually made him blind, so that's why he's wearing the really cool sunglasses. 42:45 Oh, he's because he's blind, so you let me make fun of a blind guy for the first five minutes of the episode. I didn't let you make fun of him. You thought he looked. I said he looks like he's inside the standing bed booth. I said he looks like an evil scientist and then you reveal later by the way that guy's blind just a blind 43:15 Alright! 43:18 so I sock dude, he's just one make fun of a blind guy. I almost said that about those glasses. How do you see through those? Those are yeah. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't need to. Oh Lee. 43:39 bad friend dude so funny well, and he got shock as he took his eyes for granted. He did take his eyes for granted. We also we had some pretty good debates. We debated on who would win if you could beat up. If you could beat that MMA fighter or if you win against Joey Chesna, yeah yeah, that's a good question. Have you changed your mind on that? ah I don't remember what I initially chose, but right now let's play the clip and let's find out. So here's here's the the 44:09 the question. Here's here's John Jones. Okay, I love the not like huge though. Yeah, he might cut weight for this honestly, because he does look a little small. He's very, yeah, he's very, yeah, yeah, I mean he's he's jacked. Don't get us wrong, but he's not like, you know, so the question is, would you rather get in the ring and fight John Jones? Okay, okay, or would you rather get in the ring and hold on? Let me show you the other guy and see if he you 44:39 or would you rather compete against your this guy? Would you rather compete in? Would you rather compete against this guy? Oh, and in competition at Joey chestnut, uh I think I could beat Joey chest or John chestnut or John John Jones. You're not going to fight Joey chestnut. I'm going to fight Joey chestnut. That's easy. 45:04 I could beat the crap out of Joey chestnut. No, no, no, that's not the question is would you rather square rather UFC fight John Jones, John Jones, yeah or would you rather hot dog eating contest Joey chestnut? I think I'd rather hot dog eat contest golly. Hey, first of all, yeah, you need to recognize he's a world record holder. 45:25 I don't know if you know this, he listen out listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, if you get in the ring with John Jones, yeah and you realize like you you're like okay, I'm pretty confident you get into the fight. You take a hit and you realize pretty quick you're going to lose that fight. Yeah, what is your option? You have to can't do it. can't like bail out. 45:44 if you're in a hot dog eating contest against Joey chestnut and you realize pretty quick. I don't know a couple hot dogs in that you're not going to win this thing. You can just stop. You know saying like you can just leave hot dogs don't have to hurt you. Don't have to hurt you is a crazy thing to say. That's what I'm saying like, but if you're in a ring with John Jones, you're only your only way out is submission. 46:12 Yeah, yeah, you either get knocked out or you tap out. Yeah, you could you could try to grapple to still afford go quick. You should sit down immediately. Isn't you look really bad? You look so bad for that, but in a hot dog kind of you can try to fake it be like I'm really trying and like really slowly eat these hot. I'm like yeah, yeah, you know, and then you only down seven to his seventy three. That's not the thing though. It's like it's like you have to put in max effort. 46:39 whatever it is you're putting Max. I'm saying you're going Max effort. You're going with the hot dog. You're like okay, I'm doing it. I'm doing it, but when you realize there's a point where it's like it's kind of like, you know, kind of like the third quarter of the Super Bowl. When you realize this isn't turning around, yeah, okay, let's not ship the pressure a little bit here. It's not just you're getting a lot to get here. just hold on. thought you're not just trying to see who like what get in the ring and right. You're not just it's you have to win in one of these 47:08 or you die and so you're fighting for his. Oh, it's Joey chest under John Jones. Who do you feel like you have better odds against fighting John Jones or eating more hot dogs than Joey chestnut, which reminder Joey chestnut has eight eighty three hot dogs and less than ten minutes before sure I'm saying either way you win, but at what cost you know it's like 47:39 it's like dude, it's like the end of in order to game on Jones. You got to bite his ear off. You know, saying like you got to play super dirty. What did it come in? But then you're also like a couple broken bones. You're pretty roughed up your beat. Yeah, yeah, you beat Joey chestnut, but you've had the eighty four hot dogs in ten minutes. You're pretty roughed up. Yeah, you're you might never hear of the brink of death. 48:05 either way yeah yeah for sure for sure and really what it comes down to is you should in this scenario start to question what kind of system set me up that neither way I could really win that to win. I would really have to I would have to and you should start questioning the system and that's what happens when you think about these scenarios for more than twelve seconds. Okay, but honestly I think 48:31 I think and this is going to sound crazy. You think you could be John Jones because you're stupid. You're now. think somehow the odds are a little bit better with John Jones than they are Joey chestnut. I don't think I have a physical possibility yeah. I think have more window of luck with John Jones. so too, because like I think it's very well placed hit or a misplaced hit on his part. I've you yeah yeah. When it break their leg, you I don't we yeah 48:58 there's more room for error in that fight, but also you could die yeah very. I mean yeah, your odds are not good, but somehow they're a little better. There's somehow a little better anyways. That was really worth that thanks wow, joy chestnut dead at the hot dog. What a funny clip. I don't remember what I said originally, but I think I would go with the fighter because I think there's a better chance for luck. There's a better chance for luck. 49:30 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your lord and savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 49:59 playing a fiddle. It's not really the Devil's a Skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones Get Well Quick Trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Jaren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 50:27 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 50:51 Did you hear? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 51:05 and then you're to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 51:15 I don't want to be. I hate skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too. Bring you leave all this in that 51:30 name is Daniel. I'm from North Alabama. um I have been supporting the show for probably five to six years. I actually work for the show now, but before that I was just a regular patron. I really enjoyed the discord a lot and saw that there was um a big need for that. um The guys were pretty heavily focused on the show um and making content and I... 52:00 offered to help with the Discord and that's just kind of how things started and I know two years later now I've been working on this show as their community manager and I'm having a blast. I really enjoy it. um I especially enjoy when we have episodes where we get to feature patrons. That's really fun for me. um 52:19 and uh especially when we get to, you know, highlight our favorite episodes and I would definitely hands down say my favorite episode from this year was the shags. That was a Patreon uh suggested episode and ah I am endlessly grateful for that because that episode cracks me up. It still cracks me up to this day. ah The music from the episode, I mean they listen to snippets and 52:48 They listen to snippets and it is just hilarious. uh One of the best, worst songs I've ever heard is My Pal, Foot Foot. um Constantly gets stuck in my head. uh One of these days I'm going to find a record uh for sale somewhere uh and hopefully own it. uh It's hilarious. The story is fascinating. I wouldn't say it's funny. I wouldn't say it's sad. It's fascinating. uh They're just... 53:18 complete lack of like musical know-how that they you know didn't realize how bad they were I guess and then you know people would pay to see their shows and see how bad they were and bring food to throw it like it anyway hilarious 53:41 So that definitely sticks out to me from this year as one of the best episodes of the year. A single that they put out before they put out the record called My Pal Foot Foot. Here's the album. My Pal Foot Foot. Yeah, it's named after Dot had a cat that she called Foot Foot because it only had two back feet. And so it's Foot Foot. So for the audio listener, it's a hand drawn. It looks like a tiger butt attached to a fish face. 54:11 Which honestly, here's the crazy thing. This looks like any Midwest Emo's DIY album art. Oh yeah, it's cool. Like it's it's it very much would fly today. Let's hear it. But yeah, here's the track. Hopefully this plays. 54:34 fast forward to like an actual main part we can skip to this 54:43 Bye! 54:53 it sounds like the music you hear in a nightmare. It's like you were spot on with something that sounds like music. It's my pals name is here's the problem. the way my brain works. 55:13 and the dad can't hear them practicing well. The dad's not a musician either, so like he just hears it resembles music and he's like and they're so good. Ting ting my pals name is foot foot. My favorite out of context quotes for the year are what if we kiss in the h of elaine? That's crazy. No, so he lands in Los Angeles, cause her 55:42 and it's like hey, where are we meeting? She says she goes you flew into Lax. I'm not going to pick you up. He's like oh okay, you should have flown into Burbank. What do you do it? So he she he's like where are we meeting humor where we were we meeting for us and she says she says hey, I was just talking to my publicist and this is right around when the Harvey Weinstein thing is happening. 56:07 and I and she says I've been inappropriate with some people before he says it's probably best for me to lay low for a little while. Well, no, because my pal Har she's like freaking 56:22 close in the me to movement. What the heck? Well, she says she says I was talking about publicist and he thinks we should follow the Billy Graham rules. I can't pick you up from the airport because that would mean you know, kind of girl alone in the car. What doesn't look good could happen. We could kiss while I'm driving and that's good. I mean we probably wouldn't, but we could, but we could and you know what if we what if we kiss what if we kissed in the HV lane? know 57:00 Sorry I get to work earlier, but I'm respecting the Billy Graham rule. Oh my I work early. can't take the H. O. V. late because I respect my wife. I was taking the bus to work, but then it was me and the driver was a girl, so I had to get off punch her and throughout the bus. That is the Billy Graham rule. The Billy Graham rule is if it's me and a female driver, I'm allowed to grant theft auto that bus. 57:27 that's the rule them the rules. So he calls her and she says my public. I got to make a I got to make a valentine that says what if we kissed in the age of elaine that's really funny. Oh, you know what else was this year though and I don't know if did we cover this and I bring my book and show is that we talked about the hidden treasure. Oh yeah, just posies treasure and I did I 57:56 talk about how I bought the book yeah he's and I've been looking for it. been trying to figure this thing out and I do think that I've got it narrowed down to at least one specific national forest. I don't think we've talked about the fact that you started the okay, so I started the hunt and like dude. I memorize the poem and I've me and Tyler Cox Tyler Cox yeah in anybody. 58:20 who is good anyway. I mean honestly could be anybody think about it now and uh and we were talking about the the treasure and how it's still at least when we're recording this still not found yeah still out there and you're looking so maybe that's how I'll get rich in twenty twenty six is I'll find that treasure. So you know if he gets rich and he didn't do a fan to add he found the treasure. Yes, 58:51 I probably wouldn't tell the podcasters if I found it to just I don't know actually. How could I not yeah you would brag? would absolutely like a oh hey guys, it's major big man Jaron buff and rich buff and loaded. 59:12 yeah. So this is ongoing. If you find it, I think we have to get a cut because we told you about. think legally you have to give us by listening to this episode. You agree to that, so yeah, so legally bummer for you. Yeah, should have listened to this episode. Should we go look for it? We should why not? Yeah, but you have a kid on the way. I don't got nothing to do though. I'm a look for it. Why not do while you're on tour? You're going to places listed in this map 59:41 Yeah, West Texas is on here. That's close to where you're going to find it. What if I found it in a name, a real gas station? He put it in a loves gas station guys. It's in the like toilet back. No, it's like in the it's in the gift. You know how truck stops have those gift things for their kids because like yeah feel back you're on the road all the time and so you just buy a stuffed animal from a gas station. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's there. I don't know it yeah yeah. Well, that's what saying. What is somebody stumbles upon it and has no idea it's related to all the stuff 01:00:11 well, that was interesting about forest's treasure and force treasure for us had listed off everything that was in his treasure and when they found it, ah there was two items missing from the treasure and so when jack brought it jack said hey, there's these two items missing and force is like hold on and so force looks around his house is like oh, I didn't put this in it. I thought I did he's like you can have this, but then the second item, the second item, they have no idea what what happened to it and so either forest is an old man and it was wrong, which pretty likely 01:00:41 or somebody one on the treasure took one thing out of it, which is also pretty unlikely, huh? So it's most likely the first thing, but we got to get started finding this thing. That's crazy. Also this year we jumped fifteen thousand subscribers on YouTube, yeah and we've got a lot of new audio listeners and so if you're one those people who just joined us this year, welcome and 01:01:08 truly from the bottom of our hearts like we will never quit doing this show. Yeah, we will. We will. This is my favorite thing to do in the whole world and so uh here's to another year. We're going have a lot more fun. We've already got some some episodes recorded. If you can't wait till next week for the new year, you can join us on patreon. Thank you to everyone who supports us on patreon. We love hanging out with you in the discord. We love hanging out with you on our video calls and uh this is genuinely my like my agent keeps asking like you know 01:01:37 stand up. Do I want to pursue like movies? Don't want to be able to like should I try to look out a book deal and I keep telling my agent if I had to quit everything and only do one thing, even if I had to quit stand up, I would choose this podcast. I thought he was going to say Disney. I would choose. I was standing in line for jungle cruise at Disneyland. No yeah, we love the show. If anything, I think it doesn't care. We're going off here. 01:02:03 I already did the sentimental thing. It was very nice. I really Tim's. Yeah, it's true. I know I'm making it up. Just fiddle it off. All right, goodbye. No, do you want to tell them that you like them? Oh, I was just going to say if we've proved anything at this point, it's that we're going to keep doing this way past the point where it makes any sense for us. 01:02:22 hopefully it does make sense for us. It does make sense for us. We're here. We're hopefully, hopefully it continues to make sense for us, but we're not going to stop, so and I'll tell you what. If the government comes to us and tries to shut us down, they're going to have to pry this piss podcast from my cold, dead, of my hands. I dare you come and take it. Yeah, we love this show. We love you guys. I genuinely 01:02:50 I get literally no validation from anything in my life except for your comments. So I appreciate all the kind words, even the not kind words I need. You got to knock me down and rung every once in a while, but yeah, we really do. We appreciate the heck out of you guys. So from your favorite podcasters fatty in the bald guy, we hope that you have a great twenty twenty six 01:03:20 the worst high five. All right, we try it again. Got him new year. Same me. Let's go. I saw someone today. It's good. It's over. There's no more to say important to me. I saw somebody I do on a car. watched the Alex Jones documentary the other night. Now I sound just like that guy. I saw something I do in a coffee shop today and she was like, she's like, Hey, my brother just texted me and said your shoes untied and I looked 01:03:49 And out loud, was like, I hate that that word took me. All right, I fiddled it off. 01:03:59 No, none of that was included. No, keep that in. want that No, no, that We want that story in there because it makes me look bad. No, no, that we want that story in there. We want that