The True Story Behind Moneyball

10-21-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, happy to be here. Welcome to an episode where we're not going to do any bits. Tim's going to tell the story and I'm not going to say anything. Go ahead to all right. Have you ever heard of Billy Bean? 00:16 What do want to say about William being first in Billy last name beam? You don't you got anything to say about Billy B. You got any jokes to make about that name? You can't. You're just going to let that name lie. You're just going to be okay with the fact that this guy's birth name is Billy Bean. I need you guys understand. I need you to see right now. I'm done being gas little this podcast. I'm not doing any bits right now. 00:48 Why'd you say it like that? 00:53 We've been bad. 00:58 Would you come make us good? I promise we're worth it. 01:09 Things I learned last night. 01:18 just wasting your time. Okay, fine. Billy being born, Marsha, twenty nine, nineteen sixty two to Orlando, Florida. 01:33 I need you to engage with these jobs. I need you and I need you to be here with me. I'm here with you. They're just not fun. You just went Billy Bean in that funny in that one. It is you guys. It's really funny. I'm do an episode about God ain't Billy Bean. It is funny. I mean didn't even say funny. You just went Billy Bean say with a funny voice. Try it with a funny voice. Try it. 01:57 We'll start over. Ready? Try with a funny voice. I'm not gonna do. I'll laugh. I'll laugh. got it. No, no, no, do it. You're not gonna laugh at it. You're gonna do the exact same thing you did when I said it normally Billy B. No, see, I don't even do it turns out. It wasn't funny, so oh 02:16 So Billy being born in Orlando, Florida, born to Orlando, Florida, as his dad's name Orlando, Florida. No, I just like the idea that okay, so he's born to Orlando, Florida, Orlando, Florida in nineteen sixty two. Yes, okay. What did William Bean do? So Billy Bean, he was a born and raised baseball player. He loved baseball uh and all throughout his William Garbonzo. 02:45 Okay, he tried not to. He tried to hold it in, but it came out so he played baseball. His dad was in the Navy though, and so he did not know sure there's a point. There's a down in the Navy though. Okay, he played baseball though. His dad was in the Navy. There's a reason why I said though 03:12 so he did it get to play with one team for a long time in his youth. His dad taught him how to pitch the moved around a lot. um Finally, okay high school hands up in San Diego Navy town. um That's what they call it right, San Diego, San Diego, Navy town where he starts playing. I San Diego is more known for the marine base there Pendleton. I thought it isn't that a Navy base with a marine base really yep. I thought that was a Navy base. Are you serious yep? 03:41 There might be a Navy base there. 03:45 that's the one like right on the shore right and yep marine on coronado. I know because I was in the marine. No, that's a naval base. That is a marie. That's a marine base. No, I'm looking at it right now. It's a navy base right here, naval base on coronado. That is yes, the naval and 04:09 Green Core Base. 04:12 It's got both. Yeah. Okay. 04:18 guys. I need you to listen. I need somebody to reach out to me in my DMS. Send me a message. See like tell me that I'm not crazy. I didn't say they didn't have a Navy base. I said I think they're more known for Camp Pendleton and then you went yeah, that's a Navy base and then you googled it. It wasn't and you were like yes, it is on Coronado. That's not Camp Pendleton. What I said 04:48 So I just need to me an email. It's my email is tim at tillin dot com and just send me an email very detailed about how I'm not an insane person. I just say how much you had that other guy on this part every day man. Our phone calls, our podcast, 05:12 Every morning I wake up to an audio message that says hey good morning you small little man Nothing you think is correct the other day you sent me an audio message You you say you sound tired and you were like hey good morning, man I just want you to know that nothing you think or say is ever right and that every thought you have is wrong And I just want you to second guess yourself all along the way. All right. Anyway, Billy bean. See you later 05:39 That's how you make it funny Tim. 05:44 take note. So Billy goes to San Diego. His dad's the Navy. He's working at the Navy base, not the marine. Yes, but there is a there's both his mom worked at the marine base, but he went to high school because he was a t a soldier and he goes to Mount Carmel High School in San Diego and he and there being a teenage boy in the what would this be? He was born in sixty two, so seventies seventies 06:13 he school doesn't matter. What mattered to him was baseball, football and basketball and cigarettes. uh Yeah, I live for four things. Baseball, football, basketball and cigarettes in reverse order. Last night, 06:32 You're gonna hate me for this. 06:36 last night during fast money five minutes in bringing up family feud. All right, let's hear it last night during failure, failure feud. The grandma of one of the families was doing fast money. The worst fast money round I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, there was a question where it was like what is a part of your body that regenerates hair, skin, skin. She said hips 07:05 And then there was a question, what's the first thing you reach for in the morning? And in this voice she said, cigarettes. 07:16 BUT 07:18 cigarettes was the top answer. She literally got fourteen total points in that fast money round. It was the worst I've ever seen and her son came out and ended up getting the total score to one ninety seven, so he all cleared the gap. Yeah, the gap. It was crazy, but yeah, the first thing you reach for the morning cigarettes oh kills me. I will never forget that moment. Anyways, 07:44 it was just think so relaxing about watching this old lady see cigarettes on tv and see there's something about that that that's funny, but there's decorum to that. You saw that like he's trying to stretch it now. I was looking. I was like okay, that was only a minute and he's like yeah, but also yeah too much too too much. So I'm interested in William Garbon so bean 08:07 So being is playing baseball, football and basketball, yeah and smoking cigs smoking looking cool and so he and he was really talented. He got named to the varsity team as freshman year on all three sports. Okay, he batted a five o one his sophomore and junior year of high school, so he was good um his senior year there. He ended up deciding to drop both football and basketball, which was a controversial decision for him because he was already being scouted by Stanford and they were talking 08:36 about giving him a joint baseball football scholarship to succeed John Elway, who was a sophomore at the time. They're like, we're going to need to replace him in a couple of years. And we think you're our guy. Wow. And so that's like high praise, obviously. uh But he was like, no, he's like, if I play, if I keep playing football, I risk a career ending injury. And he's like, baseball is a safer sport. I feel like I'm better at that game uh because his senior year, his batting average dropped. uh 09:06 to 300 and felt like he was distracted. So he's like, I'm going to focus on baseball. I'm to just pursue that. So he dropped everything else, just pursue baseball um and it paid off. He ended up being the New York Mets first selection and the 1980 major league baseball draft straight out of high school. Okay. So he was a first round draft pick, went to go play for the Mets um and spent four years playing in the minor leagues and then went on to the majors, had one year. It's one of my favorite things to watch. 09:34 the videos or guys getting called up. Oh yeah, yeah, so fun to watch. Yeah, it's yeah, it is fun. So he goes, he got to love watching people's dreams come true. Yeah, it is, you know, it is exciting and it's it's even more exciting watching them get the call that they are getting cut. That is there's nothing better than watching someone's James get slashed. 09:59 I there's nothing I hate more than this bit that you do sometimes where you just decide to not engage with me or you just decide I'm going to make you look crazy this episode and it works every time because I can't stand it so much and it makes me go more crazy, but I can't stand it. All right, that was thirty seconds you can cut out. Oh my God, so he does the year with the Mets the Mets were so he doesn't you with the Mets. He doesn't you with the Mets. 10:29 and the meds are like ah, you batted a two eighty four oof not great. We know we just called you up. We know we spent a first round draft pick on you. It's not hot anymore. You're not that hot. You stop smoking and now you're not cool anymore. Yeah, and so they trade them to the twins. The twins hold them for a year. They do the same thing. They trade him to the tigers. The tigers hold them for a year. They do the same thing. They train him his oh he's 10:51 Is he bouncing around in the minor leagues or he to get this is made so he's okay, so he's in the majors, but he's not getting to stay on it. He at least got to play in the majors exactly. It's a beautiful fun thing yeah, and so he goes to the athletics and he spends a year with the athletics and the athletics are like hey going into nineteen ninety season. We feel like you've lost a step. We're going to downgrade you to the miners and so he goes to the GM Sandy Alderson of uh the open the Oakland A's and he says hey I 11:20 Oh, wait a minute. Okay, I know who Billy Bean is. Keep going. He says, he says, hey, was like, know this name is familiar. He says, Hey, I, I know, like I could go do the minor league thing. Yeah. And he's like, but let's just, let's just cut this middle storyline out. Like I don't need to go to the miners. I can just retire now. And he's like, I'd like to come be a scout. And he says, all right, you got a deal. And so he becomes a scout. 11:48 for the Oakland Athletics. Yeah, and he comes in kind of like a lower level scout. His job is what's called an advanced scout, so he's going to not to high school students, not to colleges, but he's going to the minor leagues and he's scouting for other players and I to a guy on a delta flight that did this. Did he tell you about it? Yeah, I mean like loosely. I mean he was like, you know, I'm a scout for he was for the race. Yeah, they have anybody on his radar that day. 12:15 I was like how you're going to watch somebody and he said no, I'm going vacation my family right now, and so he's like don't talk to me. No, he started the conversation. I think he wanted. I think all he wanted was for me to know he's a scout. You were like you want to see me. I can do some gassers down the aisles. You want to see my job. hey, I'll run right now. I thought I was a catcher. I got a hip flexor issue right now, like my hips are kind of tight, so can't actually fully get into the squat position, but like it's like take off. 12:39 And the flight attendants like, you got to sit down. We're trying to take out my dream. I'm trying out for the right that I yelled off Mike and Tim yelled into it. He doesn't understand my control. He's not very funny. Um, and so he's just really bad at this. We've been podcasting for almost 10 years and I was still hasn't got the hang of it. I'm trying to talk over you is what I'm doing. I'm trying to make it to where my joke is the one that people 13:06 because when you hear this back, when you hear this back, show this to your counselor, ask your counselor to listen to the last two episodes and then be like which one of us is the crazy one is a deal. I've had a crazy day already. It started at like six AM and it hasn't stopped. What happened? Oh, you're not a site go down. Well, I mean that was the sixth thing that happened today and it's just it's been one of those and so I am a little a little high strong. I will, I will admit I'm a little tense. 13:37 anyways, so do that again. I'm a little got some tension in my banks. Thank buddy. What the heck is wrong with you? 14:02 I don't know how else how else would you how else with your body would you try to illustrate the fact that you're tense show me another way you would try to illustrate tension without just flexing 14:16 that does like different. That does look different. You're right. There was another way to do that and you went that was weirder though. I think that was you posted up to your problems like you were like gonna be like yeah, that's how men fight their problems. They fit. you go. So so you think that 14:34 just I sort of make sure that we understand. So you think that addressing your problems in a masculine way yeah, it's gotta be mass is to puff your chest and and tell your pops your force or the was to tell your pops. No tell your problem. Oh, tell your pops. You're the was you're the one you're the weak one. That's a big five ten energy over there buddy. 15:00 Okay, so Billy Bean is a scout for now the Oconais yeah, and so he's working underneath. What year is this? Nineteen okay, and so he's working underneath Sandy Alderson and Sandy is teaching him about this new stuff. That's like it's not really new. This has been around for a little bit called hold on to me the right Saber metrics, S A B R metrics, which stands for Society for American Baseball Research. 15:28 which was 1971. So relatively recent. It's this new way of doing analysis on players that was pretty like groundbreaking, which is weird, where instead of looking at a player and being like, that person's good at baseball, I'm going to offer them a bunch of money to come play for my team. They would look at their stats, right? Be like, these are good stats. This is good on paper. So we know they're a good player. 15:54 but a lot of scouts had a lot of problems with safer metrics because the scouts were like because the scouts were like no, no, no, it's a feeling. It's a vibe. That's guess. We're like I've got a hold, you know, because every player has that gold necklace, that little chain right and they take it off. I hold it in my hand and I go he's like. No, you're not going to make it to the league. I hate when you ruin my bits. I hate when I'm about to do something funny and then you go wow. 16:26 so Billy Bean is a guy who is now working for the Oakland A's. I want to know your version of that bit. I want to tell me your version of that bit. It was. I was going so basically the same yeah, but you went the sound you made is like if oatmeal came to life and was like a monster in the bowl and was like a sloppy monster. 16:55 the sound I made was more like a psychic looking at the thing and trying to go to a different route and be like you will do and I was going to do a whole like I see you playing ball and also you know and I was good. I'm not even going to a punch line. I'm not going to let it. We got to let it flow to the ether because Tim was like wow, wow, wow, because Tim was like you know what's funnier. What if I speak over Jaron 17:24 and I do my bits. You don't know what is funnier is that the psychic so Billy Bean is a guy who works for the Oakland A's and he Oh make my mic louder. He braids cut him out. Take him out of this podcast. You just hear Tim really quiet. 17:47 All right, Saber is a on paper kind of way of looking at things. Yeah, they're evaluating their actual staff. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it's like it's like what do they look at off? So they're looking at pretty much every stat and baseball and what's interesting is those in those early years. They're just like what are all the possible stats we're going to start tracking them and chart start to see what has the most um connection to players who actually succeed right league because what 18:13 happened all the time and it's very interesting. Baseball is different than pretty much every other professional sport. They have a twenty round draft yeah and they just pull in a baseball will draft kids straight out of high school. Yes and instead of letting them to put him in the minor. Yeah they put him in the minors. They let him develop from there but the problem is like what happens so often is they will spin these first few rounds. I love to do like I don't know if it's time in this episode but a side tangent on the way that minor league works because like they're not paid a lot 18:42 Yeah, well, what happens if they get drafted, right, they get drafted, get a signing bonus, they get a lot of stuff, but minor league players don't make a lot of money and they have to pay for a lot of their own stuff. It ends up being like a lot of them have other jobs. Yeah, I don't know exactly how it works in the MLB, but I do know I knew a guy who was in the minor leagues for the NHL and they lived in a team house and so they had a house that was like a frat house essentially. that Andy? No, I don't know if you've met. 19:11 him, but it was like essentially a thing he's made up. I know everybody that Tim knows and Tim's lying right now. I really don't think his name was Nate. I don't think he met him, but it was like a teen house. I really live in this team house. He did have another job. He sold insurance for State Farm. I bought some from him and then and then he would put us in sweets every time he played at cable domer and so 19:39 they definitely weren't making enough like when just that like the NFL cheerleaders make nothing. What did you watch the season of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders? No, they they campaigned. They got raises and so I think it, I think they, why would I have one minimum salary? Watch that. It's interesting. The minimum salary I think they get now is eighty thousand for the cowboys. Oh well, to be fair though, they're worth it. I was gonna say 20:06 Okay, that's out there. Let me explain. Let me explain. I need to explain. 20:15 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like we really look it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk we have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way please share the episode tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 20:50 say that. Oh, I love this. My favorite moment of the whole show. Wow, Tim, they provide a lot of value for the team. Oh my gosh, that is the value they provide for their worth. Yeah, I they're worth it. 21:15 that's crazy. No, I meant like they've now spun that like whoever was the marketing director for the cheerleaders of the Dallas Cowboys. That's what I'm saying. They're a brand. Let me finish right. I'm trying to save you right now, buddy. What I said they they became a separate entity exactly that exists alongside the Cowboys ah because of like their Netflix series. They had a TV state, a reality. They were they were their own reality show 21:44 you know, and so they've they're a valuable brand and enough right separate from so now that is the elite. Honestly, you could start on another team yeah and be a cheerleader and then hopefully become a doubt like that's what you want to yeah, but as a process they talked about the process of becoming an NFL cheerleader, at least for the chiefs. I mean I've had a couple friends who have auditioned for it and tried and it's 22:09 pretty aggressive like you have not easy to make and you have to know the entire roster for several years back to you have to know you didn't know a lot of stuff about the chiefs yeah. I mean what's crazy it. I don't know. I don't mean entire roster like all the starting players. You got to know you got nobody every position yeah yeah you know which is crazy. It's crazy because that's not what you do on a day to day basis at all. That's nothing. No, no, no, I mean you will you're too poor to sit close when you sit up front by him 22:37 they're doing this and stuff and you're like hey, who's the back up right tackle and they have to tell you the stats yeah, that's actually their go. Where do you go to high school? You know, do I know him? Are we friends on Facebook? You are so worth it. 22:57 because they're war. I was uh all right supportive yeah, but also they do provide a lot of value. They used to make like thirty thousand a year, which is crazy, so they they pulled a pretty big. I think they made way less than that. Hold on because I don't they're not salary or at least about the chiefs. Yeah, they were hourly. They know they are salary now with benefits. 23:27 the cowboy shoes are yeah, because that was the whole thing in the show is like they all had cheerleaders make you know an average of seventeen thousand a year. They earn a flat rate per game. They were they earn a hundred and fifty per game. Yeah, that's what I saw because because when this happened in practices pay ten to twenty dollars per hour and then public appearances like if they send three cheerleaders out to an event that's like fifty to seventy five dollars. Yeah, I remember looking wow 23:55 because they pay for all their own costs like uh their hair and make up their travel to and from events. No way there's no way they're paying for the flights. Isn't that crazy? Does the visiting team doesn't say so they only do home games and they well local events. We stayed when I was when I was in what year was that? I think I was in fifth grade greatest time of my life because we stayed at the same hotel as the kids, chief cheerleaders 24:22 when we went to see the Hall of Fame game in Canton, Ohio, they play Green Bay Packers nice, so they might travel for games like that. Well, yeah, it's the Hall of Fame game interesting yeah. So we can, I both teams took their cheerleaders to Brazil right. I think so yeah, like big things like that yeah, Super Bowl, Super Bowl, both teams gets cheerleaders obviously yeah and they're worth it. 24:51 and the word that you get what I was trying to say though, right? Yeah, do I need a no, I think you don't gotta explain anything to me, but breathe and breathe doesn't listen to this, so she's not even gonna have any questions. I watched it with her. Your mom might tell her though your mom's gonna be because your mom listens and watches thanks Terry and but she's gonna text breathe like you need to listen to this episode. Go ahead and skip forward a minute forty five, but 25:22 So Billy B, so Billy B, what's that? So they focus on what I'm saying. Like they're, they determine that there's these stats early. Then what were the stats they were focused on? I've got, sure they're batting average, they're so running speed. I'm sure it was what they were. They were trying to focus on all these. I know which stat they have initially ended up like what they ended up going to. Yeah. 25:47 I don't know what Saber Metrics focused on in the early days of Saber Metrics. I know that early on they were like whatever they were looking at all stats, trying to figure out what was the one that actually influenced the ability to win games. Like what stat do you need the most of? But I don't know when they because the way that baseball contracts worked, some of these players like star players were getting incredible amounts of money. Yeah. And so 26:12 And I guess it kind of works the same way with the NFL. I mean, you'd have players making crazy contracts to play third base while your second base, your second baseman is making one 20th of that. Yeah, there's huge, huge discrepancies across the roster. Yeah. Yeah. And it's interesting with baseball too, because even to this day, like you will have contracts that are multimillion dollar contracts for some players in the team and then other players in the team will have six figure contracts. Yeah. And so there is like a 26:42 there's a disparity where, like if you look at a lot of other leagues like the NFL, for example, like played on the NFL, there's they're all still millionaires. They're all still doing really well, but there are some that are doing significantly, definitely exceptionally well yeah and so well, it's like when my homes first when they first won that first Super Bowl and there was a I think it was a video that they were talking about. They were in the locker room or whatever and some of the other guys were like hey. Did you go watch that movie yet? Oh yeah, he was like he's like can't go to movie theaters yeah. 27:10 Yeah, you know and it's just like a different level of like when I was at the Starbucks by my house, there's I don't even know the guy's name, but I know he plays the chiefs because he would walk in and that's there. He's pretty visibly not a normal person. You're like oh yeah, you are a truck and so but he was like I think he was like a defensive lineman coming to Starbucks, drive a pretty nice car, yeah, you know, but no one in there was like oh my gosh, yeah, you know same thing with who was our bald sorenson 27:40 we have a chick flay right a bit, but no one will be like really. I would think people recognize him. I mean I think I think one person working but go because I think that's so you know like I think it would be one of those things like I think that people who know now it's like with his family and like but someone would go. It's not like undeniable. He walks in and you don't go that's sorens. You know we walks in you go. I think that's I was speaking of. I thought of this new bit the other day um 28:11 I haven't got to do this to anybody yet, but I'm really looking forward to it. This is like a nice bit. This is a fun bit to do to your friends. But like when you see your friend in public act like they're a celebrity that no one else in the room knows who they are. so you're just like, Oh my God, is that Alex Garnett? And then you just take, you're like, can you take a picture and get someone to take a picture and be like, you want me to take a picture with them? And then you get like, 28:36 see if you can get a group of strangers to take a picture with your friend who's not famous at all. I love the idea. I haven't got to do it. I think that's funny. My favorite thing to do is if you're at Disney or something, this is uh a a ask someone to take your picture. I told you this one where it's like if you and I were at Disney together, we would go hey sir, would you take our picture and then you and I and I take a picture and you go you should be in this. Well, you 29:01 will you take a picture of us and then get a stranger in the picture with you? That's really I didn't go you should be in this and then just see how many people you can do that to you can. That's really funny. That's really funny. I like that a lot too. Those are two great bits, two great bits you can do yeah. Have some fun. You know another really fun bit is a go audition for the Kansas City Chiefs. They let they let anybody out. They let anybody out. 29:33 uh They can't just I tell you what they can't turn you away. So anyways, while we were doing all these bits, I looked up what cyber metric started out with and it started with batting average. That was yes. They thought was the big one and then eventually they started looking at the correlation between batting average and run scored as a team. Like the whole team's batting average, the whole team's run scored, um but eventually uh they ended up landing on on base percentage. 30:03 So by the time uh Billy Bean became the scout, uh Sandy Alderson was looking for players who had good on base percentages, meaning they got on base a lot because they said this is the thing that correlates to teams being able to win games, uh which is a pretty big change for scouting in the major leagues because like I said before, scouts would go watch high school players play. 30:30 and say this kids got it and it was based on a feeling and a vibe and a lot of times it was not. It didn't pan out because it was vibes yeah and usually these kids were kids that were doing good in high school, but there wasn't like any concrete data behind the fact that they were good. It's just they're doing well. Oh, speaking of kids that do well, uh no, no, no, I got to you this is crazy. Later, I have to tell you now we're not that far in. I do not consent to this story. 31:01 So uh you know, Derek Henry, yeah, if you don't, he's the running back for the Baltimore Ravens. ah This is going to change this season, but he's been in the NFL for nine years. I saw this on another podcast and and then I went and watched so much game footage, ah but he's been in the NFL for nine seasons, okay, and he has just under twelve thousand yards in the NFL from nine seasons. Okay, 31:30 in his four year high school football career. He had twelve thousand one hundred and forty five yards and so he has more seasons in his high school career or more yards in his high school career than he has in nine seasons in the NFL, which is bonkers and you look it up. You look up the stat sheet, Tim. Why is that bonkers? 31:51 Well, okay, okay, because no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh 32:16 You're telling me this force of a person gigantic guy. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's why he made the league. I would expect it. I would expect it to take someone who is exceptional or than double the time in the league is insane. It's not insane. I think it's insane to every team you're playing has 11 professional athletes on the other side of the ball. When you're in high school, you got 32:40 idiots. He was averaging two hundred and fifty yards a game. There are games in his high school career where he is over five hundred rushing and that's crazy because playing against high schoolers and as a high schooler, he looked forty two. I watched a bunch of game footage of him playing in high school and he's a head and shoulders taller than everybody else in the field. I can't believe he's five hundred yards of these people, but also that's not crazy. After watching a bunch of game footage, I spent 33:10 a couple hours watching game footage of him in high school. After I saw this, I genuinely don't know if he got tackled in high school, like watching this footage like nobody could bring him down. I genuinely don't think he got tackled in high school and I don't got that rose got tackled for the first time. He's man, this sucks. I didn't like that. I do this all the time. You guys like get tackled. Where do you go to college? The worst? I don't know. Actually, let me see 33:42 he went to the University of Alabama. Yeah, that's crazy. That's not that crazy. He the highs in his freshman year. That's crazy. That's nuts. What is psychopath? I mean he really is paid a lot of money and he's worth it. 34:04 Hahaha 34:06 never gonna hear the end of that he's so okay, so so so so see me. messed up on the story here though, because I thought that Billy Bean had to like fight the team to get this to be so sandy. So sandy teaches him this thing yeah and what he teaches them. It's kind of this thing where sandy is doing this as the GEM and when he's looking at players 34:33 but scouts are still doing what scouts do and that's going and watching college or high school and college and mightily players play and just vibing them out yeah and then they tell the GM they say hey. I like the vibe of this guy. The GM was looking at also if you're a travel ball parent like if your kid plays baseball and you travel for that, you should know that college scouts and pro scouts are also watching how the parents act in the stands yeah because like your kid could be really talented, but if I'm a college scout and I see you in the stands, I'm like 35:02 I don't want to put up with you yeah yeah like you could ruin your whole kid's career just by being who you are at these little things. That's actually one hundred percent true and it's crazy. These people are there's nobody worse than a travel ball parent. These people will load their family into the suburban. They'll drive states away for a baseball game, but they won't drive twenty minutes to a counseling appointment. That's true. It's a good joke. That is true. 35:38 So Billy Billy learns all this stuff about Saber Saber metrics from Sandy and he's a scout for Sandy for a few years. And then in 1997, Sandy leaves the athletics and then Billy is offered the job as GM. So he takes the job as GM. 36:01 and he immediately is like, okay, I know this guy who's really good with Saber metrics and stats and stuff like this. He's a total nerd. He's like, I'm to call him up. His name is Paul de Podesta and he's like, I want you to be my assistant GM and he's like, all right, done. And so then he comes and joins the team and then he sits all the scouts down and he says, Hey, no more of whatever you guys are doing. I don't like it. He says, we're only going to do metrics from now on. Okay. And the movie makes it seem like it does. 36:31 and that's not what happened. No, you're saying that saying he was already doing this saying he was already doing okay, but it wasn't. It wasn't. I will say because the movie makes it seem like Jonah Hill brought this to the A's or like that Joe Hill was like. You should be looking at this, which Jonah Hill plays Paul. They put that's what I'm saying, um but yeah same person whatever that's not yeah. That's not what happened. Also did Paul look like John Hill? I wish I could do pictures today. Our computer TV's not working 36:59 No, he does not because Billy Bean got played by Brad Pitt. I will say which is pretty sick. This is here's a here's a picture of them, so they not even close, not even close. There's a lot of a lot of people who like a lot of people who knew this story ahead of the story and were close to the athletics didn't like the movie because it it made a lot of people like a lot of individual people with the team look pretty bad that 37:26 did not look that bad in real life. Well, because the scouts were like we're fighting you on this. We're not going to do it and then Billy Beans like yeah, you're out, you're cut, I'm done. I'm not mess with this stuff. We're doing this system and it seemed like the way that the movie we're referencing is money ball. If you don't know ah and the way the movie portrays this is that Billy Beans, the GM trying to figure out the team sucks, trying to figure out what's going to work and then Paul Despacito or whatever his last name is. What is it day Podesta day Podesta ah 37:56 somehow he and Billy Bean their their paths cross yeah at some office thing or whatever. Well, he's not a play and he finds out he's a scout and he's like you want to see me run down the aisle yeah and then so Paul goes hey you should be looking at the on base percentage and Billy Beans like what he was you should be looking at the on base percentage. That's how what's what's the that's the correlating factor and then Billy Bean goes back to the A's and he's like we got a lot of the on base percentage and then fires the whole staff and brings in this guy 38:26 is what the movie makes it seem like yeah yeah, but yeah, no he had already been looking at it before that holly the guy before him had been looking at it. It's not a compelling story though, and you know what it's kind of like this football movie. I watched where like the kicker's name is David. His dad's in a wheelchair, great story and I'm standing for my son and don't touch me. I'm standing for my son 38:56 and every youth group watched that they're playing the giants at the end. Beautiful, beautiful moment. Yeah. 39:06 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little till in QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you were in public and you can tell them about your Lord and Savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 39:36 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 40:04 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 40:27 Did you hear it? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 40:42 and then you're going to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 40:52 I don't want to be. I hate skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too. Pretty you leave all this in that 41:08 that never mind. We don't have to even that movie wasn't that bad. It was their cop movie they did. That was pretty bad. Their fire, their firefighter movie and yeah, there was just so many in that series. They were just so 41:20 christian entertainment's pretty bad yeah. You know yeah and that's it's because here's why is that uh they don't allow you to be funny ah and they also it has to have a message. Otherwise it's not worth it and the standards are really like true. The standards are low, but I would say like I'll do comedy shows that I'll feel like uh 41:43 like I do. I do a serious part of my show, not like a whole like hey come forward and give your life to Christ kind of thing. Yeah, but I do a serious part of my show and there is a certain group of people at my show who will kind of politely laugh through the first thirty minutes of my show. When I do the serious part after that, it's almost like they go oh okay. This had a purpose yeah, you know, it's like where they're like oh okay, it's okay to laugh because this had a point yeah and if you don't do the 42:09 the point it's like it's like that guy in san antonio when we first started, we did the homeless shelter and we did. It was you know is three hundred homeless people. They packed out this whole so they're there for the food and I get up and they didn't know that they allowed a comedian. So I'm joking and these homeless people are like what happened was the director hired us, but he wasn't there that night. That's right. It running it and he did not know that you were a community. He's yes. You were a preacher thought I was a speaker and so and they're all laughing. We're having a really great time. 42:38 and and he goes over to Tim is like what's this guy joking around the whole time and it was very mad like very wise. This guy joking around the whole time and you're like they what he said. He said these people come here to get fed spiritually and physically and I was like oh I was like well he's just he's just joking crazy dude. It was like crazy. This guy was in my face yeah yeah and you're like all right dude we're dumb kids yeah 43:07 but the homeless people are laughing so chill out. I think I literally said that I was like I was like I think that I think they're having a great time. We were having a good time yeah and so anyway, but that's what it so Christian entertainment ends up being like what happens in and ah me and some other Christian creators have had conversations with people to make productions and 43:32 very quickly into the conversation. It very it ends up being the people who fund it wanted to have a certain message. Yeah, they wanted to have a slant. They wanted to be inspirational and what a whole stuff and they end up just making it so it's like oh, I'm shackled by this and like I don't want to veggie tales this story like what do you like? I just want to tell a good story that's worth it and you want it to be like and at the end that we watched the movie at the end you go wow. I feel uplifted. It sucks man and it's just like dude. Just let art 44:02 we are like it's the whole thing of like is it is it valuable if you if you can't turn it upside down and it be Jesus is it still a valuable piece of art yeah anyway drives me nuts yeah. I was if you watch my comedy specials upside down it's it looks like Jesus the whole time crazy. If you could do that with some cool crazy anyway. 44:28 No yeah. I mean I agree with you. We could yeah. We could talk about this more than the the fiddle, because I was actually think about this this morning and I spiraled pretty hard great, so we could talk about that, but you know anyway, so the movie is what I mean. The money ball movie portrayed the story differently than reality is what you're saying yeah yeah absolutely okay like every movie. So then tell us what happened then after although so he gets the job and he calls up Podesta Podesta joins the cheat 44:56 joins the team, he does go to all the scouts and he says, this is what we're to do from now on. Some of the scouts decided to leave because they're like, I want this to go off my vibe. I don't want it to go off of the first. Oh my vibe bro. No, I quit my T I quit my job as a MLB scout just cause I was harsh in my vibe. 45:18 You know, yeah, yeah, exactly. And there was a little bit of scandal about it because what what he did is he he made this decision. This is how they started scouting. Yeah. And then he essentially was like, hey, there's a disparity in the MLB where the teams that have a lot of money to spend, yes, spend a lot of money to go get the best players. Right. And the teams that don't have a lot of money to spend are kind of left with for lack of a better turn the scraps. 45:45 um because they don't have the budget and we're have to compete against each other yeah, but they are. We still have to say it's the same thing of like colleges. If you have a rich college versus the small like the small local college, you know yes, and so he found this on base percentage thing and he said. I think if we assemble a team that has this the highest on base percentage, we could win and we can actually play at a similar level and we can save money. We don't have to pay these guys that much money. It costs us less and then yeah and then we can actually 46:14 a team that has a couple superstars. We have a bunch of decent players. We can come up against a team that's true couple superstars. And so it's the difference between example. You're a running back. 46:29 and the defense has two star players and nine goobers nine. I don't know. High school nerd or you're up against a defense of eleven pretty decent guys. 46:47 I'm pretty sure, and this is going to sound crazy. You might not get as many yards against the 11 pretty decent guys as you would have the two all stars and nine goobers. 47:07 fine, but I will say this. If any one of those nine goobers had the right resources and was born at the right time, the right coaches, the right diet plan from the time they were born, they could have made, they could have, and a sure Derek Henry was a foot and a half taller than all of them, but they could have made it. I think they could have, could they start? Maybe not. Could they be Derek Henry's level? Probably not, but could they make it? 47:37 if you went to a Lutheran high school in Colorado, you too could have twelve thousand rushing yards. They played third graders. We did play the Colorado school, the deaf and blind and we did lose that game. Now you did. Yes, we did. You did what I saw my freshman year, my freshman and sophomore year freshman year. We lost sophomore year. We won junior year. We went up the Colorado stop deaf and blind. Yes, we stopped and you lost. Yeah, we did lose 48:06 My freshman season we lost. Yeah. Sophomore year we beat them and they put us up a division. Can't make any statements about that. 48:18 they only know that's all right. 48:26 that is crazy. It is crazy. It was embarrassing, but we got rid of our coach. Why is it embarrassing? We got rid of a say why it's embarrassing. They can't see us and they're beating us, so they they start scouting with this method, looking for players that have a high on base percentage. They amy, they completely abandon high school kids. They say we're not had a look after high school students anymore because there are too long to 48:55 get to the league. You have to develop them in the minor leagues and that's a waste of our time. What's the minimum age they can go to majors? Do you know there's not a minimum age, but there's a skill level they want to see him get to really? I don't think there's a minimum age. I mean eighteen probably yeah. I wonder what's the youngest in a leaf player is your fun. I was major league baseball. There isn't a strict minimum age. Players have to be seventeen to be eligible to be drafted or signed okay, so so there is a minimum age. 49:24 it's so sure that you all heard that there is an minimum age players had to be seventeen to be eligible. Okay, so seventeen then seventeen sounds like it. Oh wait, wait, wait, so US has to be at least eighteen years old or out of high school. So if they graduate before they're eighteen okay uh international have to be at least seventeen to be eligible for the draft interesting, but a wow and then 49:54 college players, which is interesting. So if they're in college, though, if they go to college instead of be drafted straight out of high school, they have to uh they're eligible after their junior year or when they turn twenty one, whichever comes first, yeah really interesting. So there's like weird, so you either have to commit to not going to college, yeah or you got to commit to going to college, yeah, but inevitably, unless you're just amazing. If you get god, you're going yeah, you're going to the miners, and so he says I'm not going to draft a player that I'm not going to get to use right away. 50:23 I'm not going to use early draft capital on one of those players. I'm going use my early job capital on a player that has a higher likelihood of being a success in the league. Okay, these high school players so often don't pan out. Sometimes they do, but it's a gamble and it's very interesting because so much of the league historically has brought on these high gamble players in those early rounds. Yeah, and then the later rounds are the sure things interest. So he's like we're pushing all the sure things up and we're aiming for players with that specific on base percentage of what we're aiming for. 50:53 Um, and he goes and he clears out the highest salary players trades them away so he could free up cash. So he can go get a ton of these on base percentage players in the draft. And so his draft was deeply ridiculed this season, the, years, he had years where his drafts were ridiculed because his drafts looked like compared to what the league was used to bad drafts. Sure. Um, but over the course of a few years, he started to put together this team that had this high on base percentage. 51:23 because he was able to start getting these players that were at the level where they were ready to go straight into the majors, or had gone to the minor for a couple of years and they went to the majors and then they started to to pan out like they were played like. Obviously some of them ended up being Mrs. Some of them ended up being hits and so he put together this team that was didn't have a ton of stars. There was a couple didn't have a ton of stars was mostly players that were 51:51 good players, not incredible players, but they had this one specific staff that they were great at on base percentage. Okay. And so the 2002 season is when this all kind of came together and they started having a, a really good year and he is getting a lot of flack going into the season. And there's an interview where he responds to it. And I love this quote from him. He says, it's all about evaluating skills and putting a price on them. 30 years ago, stock brokers used to buy stocks strictly by field. 52:19 Let's put it this way. Anyone in the game with a 401k has a choice. You can choose a fund manager who manages the retirement by gut instinct or one that chooses it by research and analysis. I know which way I choose. And so he said, forget it. I'm not just going to guess. I'm going to look at the numbers. Yeah. And I'm to look at a number that we know pants out. And so they put together this team and coming into this season throughout the nineties, the A's had been a mediocre team at best at many years had been a bad team. Right. And they were not known for being 52:48 successful in the eight in the seventies and eighties, they had a few championship runs. They were a team that was a great team, but a new owner bought them in the nineties and said, this costs too much. And so they just slashed their spending and they became a bad team pretty much overnight. And so they go into that 2002 season and it starts out pretty rocky, but over the course of the year, they go on, they end up going on this legendary 20 game winning run, which 53:17 few teams have ever done this in them. And it's interesting if you look at like the records and this is another thing like work of them, I'll be if you look at the record books, they track records from the old National Association. So the last team to cross 20 wins was the St. Louis Maroons in 1884 and also the Providence Grays in the same year in 1884. Both those teams cross 20 wins. And so over a hundred years prior to that was when someone hadn't 53:46 got I done this yeah, so they got the twenty wins, obviously a huge accomplishment and now everyone's like oh, the athletics figured something out and they end up going on to have a hundred wins that season and how many games they play then let ah me look a hundred sixty two. That's the thing about baseball dude. Some people play fantasy baseball and it's like do so stressful. I played one season and it is you to check it twice a day. Yeah, yeah, it is 54:16 Exhausting. Exhausting. And if you forget one day, you're done. 162 games. 54:25 Yeah, it's crazy, uh but it's like if you go in the middle of the season, stadiums are not full because uh you can't sell, but the stadiums are that big for when you get to the end of the season and you're doing well, then there's every game sold out. Every game is yeah full. It's very interesting. It's a very interesting. Yeah, it's a very interesting sport in general. Like it's just so different than every other professional sport. I'm so fascinated by the Samantha Bananas as well. Oh yeah, they crushed it 54:55 so I was in contact with them and do you remember me emailing them in the twenty twenty one and they did a they did Kansas City. They did the monarchs stadium, yep, yep, which is our small, not even minor league. It's a what league is that I think it's minor league. I think it's they're not minor league. They're not affiliated with the they're not like they're not the official minor league. They're not an a team or anything. I thought they were like a triple a they're not a triple a for who for the royals, not for the royals. 55:21 other than monarchs now, I forgot their American Association of Professional Baseball. That's what I'm saying. They're not in the MLB miners. Yeah, you're right. I thought that so it's an MLB partner, but I don't know if it's a partner, but it's not an official. It's not like an a double AAA yeah, and so it's a small baseball stadium is what I'm saying, and the spanna bananas were playing that I had emailed them and was talking with them about like. there anything we can do together that kind of stuff and then end up? got booked that weekend for a show 55:50 So I didn't get to work out with anything. A year later, they're all of sudden huge. And then now here we are a couple of years after that and they're selling out football stadiums, dude. It's wild. Yeah, it's crazy what they were able to do. And it really is like they did, they're doing the Harlem Globetrotter. Yeah, the Globetrotter. it's different because the Harlem Globetrotters is all scripted and it's kind of like the whole thing is like to bring kids onto the field and do all that stuff. They're playing an act, they just made a new game. 56:20 Yeah, they made a baseball adjacent game. Yeah, they made baseball but different, which is interesting because I feel like this has been a thing like they've been changing some rules with baseball to try to make it a faster game to appeal to a younger generation lately. And I feel like they were just like, oh, you're not going far enough. Oh yeah. Banana ball is not. Do you know the rules of banana ball? Do you know about this at all? I know about it, but I've never really like sat down to 56:46 banana ball is a different game. There's only seven innings and then so it like. Let's say that in this inning, one team scores three points. The other team scores two instead of scoreboard reading three to it'll read one zero because that team won the inning gotcha and so that's and the game oh has a time limit on it. If the you know the time limits like two hours right interesting and so if the game's not over by then games over and so they just took out a bunch of like if a fan catches a foul ball, it's an out it counts. 57:15 and so it was just they've done some really yeah fun and also all the tick tock dances and all their stuff. Yeah, they do crazy stuff. I like back on catches and like they do little silly stuff, but like they're developing to the business brain of the stuff they've got a bananas. They got the party animals, they have the firefighters. They're introducing two new teams. They're gonna buy this time next year. They're gonna have six teams that they're having their own league. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy and they're they're they're expanding. Yeah, 57:43 and each of those teams has their own fan base and those games will outsell the average MLB game. It's crazy man, granted the MLB has a lot more well and they they've priced ticket like they've priced tickets and they've capped what they're like. They're not charging insane. Oh really? I didn't know they capped them yeah. They only charge like forty dollars a ticket. That's crazy and he doesn't said he goes. I never wanted to be where he goes. There's because people are saying we're missing out on millions and millions of dollars. He goes. I don't care 58:10 that's crazy. He said he said he's trying to have banana ball fans for fifty years. That's pretty crazy, so it's like yeah. I mean it's pretty crazy. I didn't know that that's interesting and all the game ticket includes the snacks and stuff. All the snacks and drinks and stuff are included in your ticket price. That's really interesting. I didn't know, but their wait list is insane. It's hard to get to a game. I didn't know that that he kept it. That's crazy. It's interesting. Look at maybe we could do a little side episode or a smaller episode on the on Savannah Bannas because 58:38 how they developed that is crazy and it's almost like what you know there's the John Oliver episode where they're talking about the minor league teams and the crazy stuff that minor league teams do to try to get people to come to games. You know yeah, it's very interesting stuff. So anyway, interesting, interesting, interesting. Okay, well, what was I talking about? 58:59 We were talking about how now they're on a legendary run. It's been a hundred years since anyone's done this. Now they've won twenty games in a row. There's a hundred and sixty two games in a season. They went so honestly twenty games in a row. Yeah, you know, is a is a feat, but it's also like you know, they still I don't think they won where it mattered that season right. Well, they won a hundred three games in the year. They won the division title, um but they didn't make it through playoffs right and so they 59:28 they had a winning season. They had a season where they were one of the top teams in the league, but they didn't obviously win it all, but it's still enough for them to end up on the map. And now all of a sudden every team is like, what are you guys doing different? Yeah, because all of a sudden you guys just got really, really good out of nowhere. um And this kind of changed every sport because from this point forward, every sport started looking at advanced analytics. 59:54 right and saying how can we bring numbers into the game towards not just a feeling and we see this in literally every single game now where teams have stopped doing what he said. Let stock brokers used to do where they'd go off just the fides yeah and now it's concrete data to prove whether or not you're a good bet or not, which makes sense because, especially in most of these leagues, they're spending millions on these players and so you're not going to just say right or seem good. 01:00:23 and hope that that pans out. And so he ends up getting an offer at the end of that season, the Red Sox come to him and they say, Hey, we've been bad for a long time. 01:00:38 Why did you say it like that? Hey, we've been bad for a long. 01:00:47 Would you come make us good? 01:00:54 I promise we're worth it. It's like a homecoming proposal. bad for a long time. 01:01:03 Oh, I've been bad for a long time. 01:01:11 Ah. uh 01:01:18 Why did you say it like that? You freaking weirdo. I don't know. Hey, we've been bad for a long time, so so they say, hey, we'll give you twelve and a half million to make us good. I go one season pretty good. How can you not be romantic about twelve and a half million dollars? He ends up turning it down, which is crazy, and he said he said, you know, had I got offered that a few years before that, I would have taken that 01:01:46 But he had recently gone through a divorce and he's like I just want to spend more time with my daughter and he's like I don't want to move across the country ah And so he declined twelve and a half million dollars for his daughter Which seemed to have been a bad decision because the A's moved anyway 01:02:03 No, so he stayed and he stuck around as the general manager in twenty until twenty twelve and he got promoted eventually to be the executive vp of baseball operations of baseball. He be of baseball. Yeah, I work at baseball. 01:02:26 the VP of baseball. Yeah. And so, and he ended up getting an ownership stake in the company or company, the team. And then the athletics ended up purchasing the San Jose earthquakes, which is the major league soccer team out there. And they gave him a percentage share of that to do the same thing for them. And then Arsenal, the soccer team called him because they were like, Hey, we saw what you did. Could you do that for us? And so he became a consultant. 01:02:55 and they're like great job. We're going to give you a percentage there of what we've got um and then Dutch Soccer Club did the same thing and he got to share that company. So he's became essentially like a consultant yeah and then net suite in two thousand seven the software company put him on the board of directors because they were like we like the way you think okay and and then so he's very rich in two thousand three Michael Lewis wrote a book about that two thousand two season called money ball yeah and it kind of 01:03:24 outlined the whole method and how that worked and then that got made into a movie in two thousand and eleven, starting brad pit and it has been named a top hundred movie by a lot of lists. It's a great movie. It's a really good movie. It's a very good movie, not accurate, but it's a good movie. Yeah, it's close. There's some inaccuracies, but it's close. It's a great movie though. So obviously he made money off of the movie in the book. He got a ton of consulting gigs teaching other teams how to do this and 01:03:54 It's very interesting to see here is a guy who went pro at baseball, didn't have the best baseball career, and he really was emblematic of this issue. He was drafted highly in high school because he was a great high school player, did not pan out in the league. Sure. He had this chance. The athletics were basically like, we're going to downgrade you to the minors. You could develop back into the majors. And so he had this opportunity where it was kind of this life crossroads of 01:04:22 do I try to get back to the majors and extend my baseball playing career or do I try to make something else out of my life and he decided to pivot and that pivot ended up making him so much more money than he would have had if he tried to stay in the league because yeah and have the chops, but even if he did, he probably still made more money doing this method than he did. He would have as a pro because he got all these ownership stakes in all these teams. That's very crazy and so it's just interesting to see situations like this where you know sometimes 01:04:52 your life goes out of crossroads and you got to make a choice. Sometimes the choice that seems like the better choice is the worst choice. 01:05:01 Okay, yeah, which is why the show is ending. I'm pivoting that's crazy. Yeah, so it's crazy. The life of the Billy Bean, you will fiddle off then as crazy. Hey, thanks for watching this episode. Please share it. It really helps our show grow, and if you like this episode, you should check out Jose Canseco. It'll help you look at the time in the league when it was the best when uh 01:05:30 what's that called? Steroids? We're just prevalent and everyone was juicing and it was just a great time for the MLB. So check that episode out. ah If you like the show again, support us on Patreon. We'll see you next week for that episode of Things Happened Last Night.


When most people think of baseball legends, they imagine home runs, golden gloves, and towering trophies. But Billy Beane became a legend not because of his swing—but because of his brain. The story behind Moneyball shows how one man’s data-driven strategy forever changed how baseball teams build winning rosters. From Pro Prospect to Front Office Visionary Born in 1962 in … Read More

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Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of Teo Albrecht? Pretty sure it's pronounced Theo. I thought it was Theo, but I don't know no Theo, Teo Teo Teo Teo. I think it's Teo Albrecht, Teo Albrecht. He is a German. He was born in 1922, March 1922, okay, him and his brother, uh his brother. His name is Carl. Let me see. I don't know when Carl was born. I don't know if they're twins or if they're just brothers. 00:29 No, he's the older brother. He's born in 1920, which makes some sense. Actually, now that I think about it, that makes sense thing by the story. Yeah, that does make a little bit. I agree. Yeah, you know what I did yesterday. No, you don't get to roll in, start this late of our recording and then be like, you know what I did yesterday? I don't. I want know what you did this morning because it's now it is the afternoon we were supposed to start recording. We were supposed to start recording an hour ago. We were not supposed to start 00:59 hour ago. Okay, me and Alex disagree. So what did you do yesterday? Oh yeah, last night, Bri and I, watched, we watched family feud on just 01:15 This is not worth it already. I no, is not is me and my wife. We watched family feud. You know we own a home or a couple. We have a kid now. We we watch the family feud. The best thing about family feud is that right after family feuds over it's finding big foot is on. I know the programming it's family feud. Steve Harvey. Yeah, that's the best one horses. Steve Harvey. No. So we watched fairly feud just on like 01:44 we don't even have cable anymore. So it was literally like we have the bunny ears and so we just like over the air family feud from basic tv like air. Okay and it's been ages honestly probably five years at the minimum that i've watched tv just like actual tv not like a streaming platform sure and there was something about it and i don't know if this is nostalgia or if this is genuinely different but it was more relaxing to just turn it on and be like this is what's on 02:14 and then they'll just like sit there and then they ended it and be like what's next and then it's like oh more of this and then it just kept doing that like I don't know. Do you think that the soldier do think there's something to that of like I didn't have to go find what I was going to watch? I just turned it on and it was there. That's interesting. I think that's why the for you page is successful. Yeah, 02:36 Huh, that is interesting. was, I felt much more relaxed at end of the night. I also noticed that. 02:43 So I like the nostalgia that you're reaching for is still TV. You know, I'm saying like it's not like, man, we used to just sit by a babbling brook and listening to the calming waters to go and you're like, yeah, I actually really like that. It's like, you know, that commercial for what's that service where you can send your poop off and it comes back and like, you don't have colon cancer. You're good. What's that service called? That's so nostalgic. What's that service called? I don't know. I thought you'd know. I thought you'd just watch it. 03:13 email. Sure, colon flicks. I don't know, but also I noticed what's really interesting about this show to feel like the Internet broke it because family feud. Yeah, it's very evident and I think we've talked about this before, but it's very evident that so much of the questions that they asked are just trying to get clips for social because it's like, this is going to elicit like funny answers that people are going to say usually for on she and not family friendly. 03:42 answers in family feud. uh Okay, but I've just been thinking about and I and I think that Steve Harvey though. I don't know if that's I don't think it is because I remember is Steve the writer well, I so I dated a girl in two thousand twelve thousand thirteen. We were in college yeah and that's one of the things that we would do is we would go to my parents house and we were watched family feud. My parents would go to bed at nine family food started at nine, so that was like our 04:11 30 minutes of just us in the living room hanging out. That's great. uh Your parents are bed at nine. My parents still go to bed at nine, dude. That's crazy. Now my dad wakes up, works hard for his money. Yeah, I know. What time does your dad wake up? My dad wakes up at 330 in the morning. Same. And he gets grinded on some subway toasters. know? I got to bed at 1 AM. I wake up at 330 AM. And he'll see me. 04:38 complain. got a bed at one a.m. I wake up at one fifteen a.m. I'm already ahead of you. I'm a week ahead weekend by the time you wake. Yeah, you wake up. I've already lived three lifetimes three lives. No, but it's just it just feels like and I don't think it's Steve Harvey because it's it's the questions the quest. I understand what you're saying, but I'm saying I think when they decided to take a more comedic approach 05:02 I think that's yeah. I think it's a lot of the clips you see on social media are from old episodes. I don't think they're engineered. You didn't watch a new episode of family few. They still filming it. Yes, yes, they were. I don't think of that. They were these were they. I don't know if they were brand new episodes, but they were episodes that were recent enough because I could tell by like the celebrities that they had on. I was so ever do family. Oh, you left that detail out. You left that detail out 05:28 but I could tell like hey, should we try to get on family for you? Because what is it? It's like four people right four or five four or five five. It's five people. Yeah, okay. Well, there's three of us. Okay, so close. Wait a minute. What if we did? What if we did me, you, Alex, Alex has to wear a bag over his head and then you want to try to ask the ninjas guys if they would do with us. Yeah, yeah, 05:58 There's five. There's five. Hey, Andy and Josh, if you want to go on family feud, text me back. Next, I'm going to text you right now. And I'm assuming you didn't text him right now. I'm assuming you just haven't texted back Andy, but are listening to this episode. We should try to get on family together. No context, no lead in, no lead in just 06:27 Hey, just found out they're still filming family feud. We should do it. I do it, but here's the thing. Like a lot of those shows, this is such a long tangent and that's not worth it because you're talking about celebrity family feud and I'm just not going to listen to you anymore. How about that? So you're like, oh, here's something that's worth wasting time on. You took five minutes to do it. You started a time. It's I took five minutes. You got time around the wall, so I can see about emailing people or texting people. I don't know. 06:56 I just think I just here's the here's the thing I feel there's no more things. I've there's no more things. It's just weird to be here. You tried to go shut up, up, shut up, stop. Thank you. You did a thing where you were like okay, it's more relaxing. All right, that's one point that you've made about failing feud and then you were like also. I think it's in here for social media. That's a second point. You've made about family viewed. Yeah, I you're trying to draw two thesis. I'm not no 07:26 you dropped it a thesis. You dropped it a thesis. I'm tell too many thesis. I would like to move on. We're done with your thesis. I would like to move on. No, but this is the real point. This is the real point I had. This is the one I actually wanted to talk about third thesis. No, this is part of the second. Go ahead. You just haven't let me finish the second. The second thesis is not done. There was a couple of jokes that were said okay that I think 07:56 Any time pre 2010, the producers would have been like, we got to cut that. But they let it go. And I do think it's because, oh, that's going to go viral. And so now the producers see this type of stuff and they're like, oh, sweet, this is gold because they know it's going to go viral. And I just feel like and I can't believe I'm saying this because this makes me feel like such a old foggy, but 08:25 but I'm just like what happened to the core? Like what happened to like to just being like yeah, we don't want to lose her. Oh, what happened to being appropriate? You know what I love about my favorite about family feud is that is that Steve Harvey wears a suit. How about that? What happened to people dressing up in suits and ties? I just I just happened to decorum, huh? 08:53 I just feel like there was everything on social media is just so inappropriate and bad and you know what and now they've tainted family feud. That's my third thesis. Here's the problem. It's not that it's not that it's raunchy. It's not that I think it's an appropriate. It's that it's raunchy and inappropriate for the sole fact that it will do numbers on social media. It's there was a point where it was like how we can't do that. That's not okay. We can't just put that out there in the world. That was a thousand inappropriate thing to do, but now it's like 09:23 oh we can do this inappropriate thing and we can do a lot of numbers on social media. So we're going to do it anyways. What I'm saying is that they were doing it. I don't think they were. I can't, I can't repeat what was in this episode yesterday, but there's a couple of things in this episode that I'm like, I cannot believe that this was in family feud and they just ran it. Okay, 09:47 I'm not gonna argue with you. I already told you I've been a I've been a I've been part of the family for a while. That's what they call my I'm telling you I've been watching the show. We used to I mean we used to watch it every night that I hung out with that girl. I know there was times where they would let these little jokes slide through, but every question there is change a thing and you know what Tim and here's what makes me so mad dude is that it's one of those things where it's like 10:14 you refuse to not argue about something man, and it makes me feel crazy. If I say something, your brain, I told you just heard it. If I say something, your brain goes nope. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not what happens. You're wrong about that. Let me tell you ten minutes, Tim. You spent on family view, dude. I've been trying to move on for four minutes. You have 10:44 you've just you you fine. Whatever I have got you heard it. You can talk about you listen to this later. How about you? How about you show this last ten minutes to your counselor this week and be like why am I so hostile? Ask your counselor that I can tell you why I'm so I know exactly why most say I go hey, here's a thing and you go no, that's not true. I know that I know that I'm doing it right now by saying that, but that's not true. 11:13 Tim, I know how crazy it is that right now I'm saying no to that okay, but okay buddy. I want to talk about this tail guy or whatever. We don't have to talk about family. We guys just a lack of decorum in this country, but fine. Let's talk about tail outbreak. The German guy sure all right, so this guy was born in Germany in a time. I saw a clip the other day and I just couldn't imagine. It was like wow. This is crazy. The day is all how 11:43 inappropriate stuff like this to be said on Judge Judy, because like it used to be dude. These reality shows used to be primo family friendly. You know, no above approach. Nobody said anything inappropriate. I never said that they were above approach. 12:09 Tim, I've been trying to move on man. I came into this building with a blood pressure of two ten today and and how often are you measuring your blood pressure? Let's just do the episode. Let's start over now. Okay, so this was a great after the You can access everything that we just said. Oh, you hate this in the live episode Robert. All right, that 12:32 Well, that's what I'll do. I'm gonna kidnap the founder of Aldi. Tim... Why did we do so many bits on a story that's interesting? Quit doing this to me, bro. When you start an episode with a 10-minute stupid tangent and then you go, I'm gonna kidnap the founder of Aldi... Things I learned last night. 13:03 tail a man tail outbreak tail. He's a German guy. You see how you could just straight up cut that from the hey man right. No, you cannot. This is a board conversation. I just need audio listeners to hear that I'm trying. No, you're not. I need video watchers to see 13:28 we know how to get back at this story. I don't either. That's why I say we should start over now. So they'll tell in his family in a mood today. I am in a mood today. We agreed and that it's 13:46 Okay, you don't even to hold on, my hands are long. Why are you doing this? Okay, are we just gonna? All right. 14:03 tail outbreak that his family were born in Germany. I don't know where his parents were, but his brother was in Germany with him okay and his parents owned a grocery store. 14:13 I had stories I wanted to tell today in this podcast that I now I'm like I'm a save him for later because like you just wasted. It's like a family. This podcast is us wasting time on stuff. It's not worth people's time. I was like I was going to talk about my trip to Greece, but I had to Greece for a day. No talk about it, but let me talk about Tia for a little bit and then you can spend ten minutes on my Teo. So this is crazy. 14:37 His family owned a grocery store. was a local little grocery store. This was the 20s when grocery stores were like, you can get three things and you can't pick them out yourself. The grocery store person has to pick them out for you. Is that Oh yeah. Did you not know that? No. used to be. Okay. Grocery stores used to be very highly specialized. And so your grocery stores were, this is your butcher. This is your deli. This is where you get your vegetables, is where you get your general dry goods. And you would go to each of those different stores and you'd walk in there and there'd be a counter and you would tell him what you wanted. And then the counter guy would... 15:07 walk around and grab all this stuff from behind the counter and then give you all this stuff and then check you out. Or they had like an interesting form of like credit to where like they would add it to like a tab and you'd have a tab at the grocery store and then you go pay your grocery bill once a month. And so, and you'd go to all of these different stores and do this. I don't know if this is how it went in Germany, but I know for the States. Sure, sure, sure. And so in Germany, this is 1920s, thirties, parents had this grocery store and then obviously the war happened. 15:36 and Germany was just flattened. so his, their store was severely damaged, but wasn't completely destroyed. So they got to maintain the store. They were able to like ah build it back up, open it back up and they, the war was, or I would, should say the bounce back from the war was a opportune time. 16:04 for Teo and his brother, because they took over the store, him and his brother Carl, and they realized, okay, everybody's struggling right now. Half of our country got flattened, we lost the What year is this now? This is post-World War II. Okay, so 46. Right after, yeah, So yeah, 45, 46, something like that. And so they realized. He's early 20s. Yeah, they've taken over the grocery store and they realize, oh, everybody's struggling, nobody can afford to live. 16:33 And so they said, what if we have a handful of groceries that we sell that we expect to make a profit on? But then we have butter and we sell butter at cost ah because butter is really tough to get your hands on. And so because they chose to do that, they quickly became the prominent grocery store in their town because nobody could get better. had a loss leader. 16:55 Exactly yes and they were one of the first, don't know what a loss leader is. If you're like a little you know dumb person and you're like let, let us the business professionals explain to you yeah and also because we're white men. Let me explain this to you. Exactly a loss leader is how do I even put this in the way 17:16 No, but they I don't want to say they invent. It's like the Costco chicken. I hate when people are like you're the Costco chickens, a loss leader. Shut up. You know I'm talking about they were they were one of the first people to have a loss leader in the business. Yeah, we got to get. We got to keep it moving. I want to your right. Thanks for pushing along. Yeah, we do any bits about the Costco chicken. We got to give them a man. It's dumb thing. That is a report. Keep going. So they were one of the first people to come up with having a loss leader. 17:46 I don't know if they were the I don't think so. Yeah, I mean very, very for a long long yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 18:15 twins because Carl got his name on the door, so it was the carl albrecht store. Okay, later they change it to all brecht discount store when they opened up multiple locations. Yeah, and so they started spreading and this is all in Germany. Yeah, this is in Germany, specific to like their little district and their little province that they're in sure, but over time throughout the fifties and into the sixties, they began expanding outside of just Germany into and crossing all over 18:45 um Europe. And as they did that, um their stores, ah they had the Albrecht discount store brand bought up. um I think I think they're called Hoffman or I don't know how to how to pronounce it. They bought up a whole series of grocery stores that made them the largest grocery store chain in Europe. And then they rebranded their company to Aldi. um Oh, and so at by 19:18 By 1970, had just opened a couple stores in the US. They were all over Europe. They were the largest in Europe. They were doing two billion in revenue a year, and that's German marks. Wow. Andy text me back. What did say? He said, that's an insanely good idea. I think isn't Family Food in... 19:43 Don't they film that in Orlando or do they film that in LA? 19:50 we could tell we could reach out to the ah we could reach out to family feud and say hey we've got an idea we want to do a podcasters episode it could be us versus Rogan and his guys. I'm legitimately going to have my agent reach out to family like you're kind of joking but I'm like oh now I have an agent that can reach out to family if you'd be like hey we'd love to do this because here's the thing about those shows like 20:16 uh You know, if you remember Haley and Al from our wedding, they were on divorce court. They're not married. Never. Well, no, wait, they're married now. They are now. Sorry, they weren't married. They weren't married when they went on. My bad. They weren't married. uh And because it's just actors. They just made up a story and then they went on to divorce court. I would love if you see me and my wife on divorce court. We're fine. Yeah, it's a joke. It's a bit. 20:42 It's really funny, but where's the decorum? You and I should go on divorce. No, no. Well, is he still doing it? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What are you talking about? Like one those, one of those other judge shows? Yeah. Judge Steve Harvey is Steve Harvey's Steve. So can we just do a run on all of Steve Harvey's shows? The Steve Harvey tour. 21:11 All right, I'm literally flying from this to Nashville to meet with my agent this week and like we're going over back. are your goals? I'm like number one anything Steve Harvey does? I want to be on it. I want to be on all of Steve's things. Yeah, get me with Steve. Yeah, I want to be Steve's new pet peeve. Make me Steve's pet peeve. Yeah, this is twenty two minutes, buddy. Let's go 21:38 So I did the math and I'm going to be honest with you. don't know if this is why did you say that? makes me so mad. That makes me so mad. 21:52 I hate that joke you uh 22:02 No 22:05 so on the cruise the other night. It was the PG show, which is family friendly. Here's the thing about this cruise. We know what PG means. Okay, she is 22:21 tell your story. Okay, so so I'm doing the PG show. It's family friendly and the whole line. You're going to hear why I said that the thing about a twelve day Mediterranean cruise of which I only did three days. Yeah, is that people don't bring their kids on those yeah on the whole cruise. There's like there's you know fifteen hundred passengers. They had they call them junior cruisers, eighteen of them. 22:46 Oh my gosh, eighty that's your cruises on this. There was no kids on this thing yeah yeah yeah, so the PG shows were like no, no one shows up to those yeah except for the old people who were like I don't ever want to hear a cuss word or I'm going to die yeah. What happened to decorum? So carnival you have decorum and then they started letting these cussers on and uh you know so anyway, cruise ship more like cuss ship, so that's them and they suck. 23:16 you know, I threw one of them over and uh so she couldn't fight back. She's too old to fight. What's she gonna do about it? So anyway, so there were three high school girls who sat front row and they were the only people laughing at this show. When I tell you that they don't set us up for success on these cruises, they gave me the seven PM show 23:44 back on boat is 630 PM, which means everyone was in Italy. I was in Italy all day in the sun, hiking, doing all the stuff right, getting back on the boat by 630. No one's going to the seven o'clock show and they put us in the big theater, which is 1500 seats and I'm telling you less than a hundred people are at the show. So it was very rough, but three high school girls sat very front row. Yeah, and I was joking around with them doing jokes. They were laughing 24:08 and and they were laughing a little too hard at some jokes where, like then I was looking at the other audience members and I said, I said you know what forget all y'all I'm here for the high school girl and then it was one of those things where I was like ah wait a minute. 24:24 I said because I think about how hard I just laughed at my own stupid joke. This is the hardest that we all started laughing when I was like don't put that on the comment cards. Please no one say that form ago. Jaren said that he was glad the high school girls were at the show. We were crying laughing. I was it was one of those things where like there was no intended bit, but I was crying laughing on stage and it was the thing where we couldn't recover the last ten minutes. The show was us just goofing around being like that. Please don't fill out the 24:54 I love that. Could you imagine though, if you guys did fill out the comic, I would get you. Imagine though, could you imagine, if you did, that's so funny. Well, anyway, okay, I was just laughing really hard on stage at that. Yeah. And I was laughing really hard at me going, you just don't hate. Do you told that joke? But I don't know why I was so funny. Okay, so five minutes. 25:23 He didn't put up his clock in the studio so I can see how long we were recording and I think he did it to try to get me to speed up a little bit, but then he spent ten minutes on family feud, so I feel like I had to sneak in. Well, I've always had a time or story on my computer yeah, but I don't use it, so I thought if it was where I could see it, then I would use it. So I did the math. I don't know how accurate this math is yeah, no promises because they were doing two billion top line revenue in a deutch marks in nineteen seventy. 25:53 The problem is sounds made up. The problem is that's obviously not US dollars, so all your calculation calculators are US dollar, so I converted that to for from doish mark to US dollar in nineteen seventy. Not sure how accurate the source I had on that was and then I'd inflation calculated it so roughly adjusted for inflation. They were doing fifty billion in revenue wow compared to what we know, so they were there US dollars US dollars yeah, so they're doing well. 26:21 is that that's what I want you to understand. I mean, even if I just told you two billion, you're doing well, see this thing, the Larry thing yesterday, speaking of fifty billion dollars. What world do we live in? That's crazy. What okay? What are you? What do you say Larry Ellison became the richest man? Oh yes, at least for a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because well, did you see the way was a crazy dude? Was it him or was it Peter that text that came out? I don't like the name Peter 26:48 to be honest, because the way you said it just first of all, it only reminds me of a homeward bound where the the dying dog is like Peter. So every time I hear that name, you just you landed the are so hard on it. Peter, where you go, is it him or Peter and it's just like uses last name teal teal yeah, did or as we call him the dark sith lord. 27:17 just freaking. Is that correct? I yeah, I think that's accurate. I don't know if I I'm not sure if it was a l or but it was musk. The this type, call him Ellen Ellen text when he was buying Twitter and was like. Hey, do want to get in on this? Did you see this text? I can't remember if it was a listen or teal. I don't remember is one of the two musk reached out to one of them. Yeah, texted them as they responded leaked and he was like he was like how much to get in on it and he was like 27:46 Oh, uh how's 50 sound? And he was like, yeah, that sounds good. And he was like, just in a text thread, just like, yeah, I throw 50 billion in that deal. That's crazy. That's crazy that you're just texting someone and be like, I put 50 up for that. 28:12 my grandma's car got hit at the storage unit and I'm not going to get it fixed because it'll be like five hundred dollars and I'm like I don't want to do that. I'm glad you brought that up because on the way in I hit the other the other side. Honestly, I kind of want to I thought here's what I did realize when I when I got there today though as I realized because they haven't repainted the lines. They repaved the whole unit, but they read I'm park further back than I was supposed to be, but like 28:39 still someone hit my car and left and the storage unit was like we can't figure out who did it. It happened in a four hour window on a specific day. We have a gate log and two security cameras. Your car is not on either of the cameras, but we do with two entryways with cameras on them like it's a very obvious and there's actually one of the intro is broken. So only one word you could watch one camera for a couple hours and very easily figure that out. She's given me a run around which feels like she did it. She did it. Yeah, for sure she did it. I think she hit my car 29:08 horse. I think the storage manager hit my car and you know what I'm fine accusing her of that all right, so so they're doing really well right is that's what I'm trying fifty four minutes Tim. I can't believe we had to cut out this twenty minute tangent. You just did that's insane fifty four minutes buddy. Tim just went on those wild rant about how he does it. He's like speaking of groceries, 29:35 Isn't it crazy that Walmart's prices change and you're like yeah dude that's how inflation works. That's how the economy happens. He goes no no no no Arizona T's been ninety nine cents the whole time. I'm trying to give you the AI recap version. Yeah he just did 20 minutes on how Steve Harvey should be the next president. 29:53 I can't believe this man. Okay, I'm so mad fifty five minutes, so there was also this guy by the name of Heinz Joe, a Kim Ollenberg, another German yeah who he he was an interesting guy a little bit about him. He say it again Hans Heinz Joe, a Kim Ollenberg, okay. uh He was an interesting guy because he was a lawyer, but you wouldn't use the word good 30:23 before lawyer when you described him uh because he was a lawyer. Okay, he was he he was not qualified to be a lawyer. He actually forged a high school diploma to get into law school, uh which is a great start, really good start. Yeah, and somehow I don't know how I did it, and I'm gonna I'm gonna bet that he didn't actually finish law school either, but I guess he did. 30:52 okay. Somehow he skated through law school, got a degree, opened up a firm, but he did not have a good reputation at the firm sure. So most of the people he worked with were criminals were the type of people that he ended up working with, because they were the only people who were willing to work with such a bad lawyer. ah He also had a little bit of a gambling problem ah and he normally he was described by friends as strangely lucky except for one day. ah 31:22 one day he lost three hundred thousand dollars gambling, which is a lot to some most to the poor, not to me, a rich and uh he he borrowed that three hundred thousand dollars from his girlfriend, which crazy crazy to make up for that, but then he was like he's like I'm gonna have to I'm gonna pay you back. 31:47 but he kind had this list of people he owed debts to at this point. his ponsies, he's giving himself and including his girlfriend. It's a trap. He also has like four girlfriends and they're also all 30 years younger than him. So he's so hold on. He's got a girlfriend 30 years younger than him who has capital. Yeah. So he's a lawyer. He's, he's trying to live the high society life, but he's, he doesn't have the money for it. And so he is, he's taking on these. Yeah. But what I'm saying is his girlfriend is 30 years younger than him and has 300,000. 32:16 Yes. Yeah. 32:20 what she in her twenty's thirties yeah she's in her twenty's so her dad's yeah, okay, um but I don't know she could have made her own money. I'm not trying to be. I mean listen, it's nineteen seventy Germany, she did doubtful. Is her dad it's possible, maybe highly doubtful, um so he calls up his friend one day. 32:47 his friend's name is Paul Cron Cron was um and I friend is probably too strong of a term. A guy he's represented in court a couple times, okay, uh who he's a convicted criminal, obviously his job or I guess I shouldn't say job crime of choice. His crime of choice was safe cracking. He had done that for a while. Yeah, he didn't make enough people used to just keep stuff in safe. Yeah, and he was the guy that we've said that so many times, like when you were used to be a rich person, people could just rob you. 33:17 Yeah, and he would. He was the guy who would go in with the group of people robbing you and he'd have the stethoscope and he'd listen and he'd people back. Are you a doctor and he'd be like something like that, call himself the doctor sick, so sick, and so he was the safe guy and so he would break into the safes and get all the stuff he had been arrested. He'd gone to jail a couple times. Sounds pretty dangerous to me, but he was now working as a mechanic. So fifty seven minutes got to keep rolling. 33:46 the timer is not a fifty seven. It's for the record. Jair is just making up these numbers. What do you why do you argue everything I say dude? 34:00 Okay, keep going. Okay, so... 34:05 Hey, thanks for watching our show. you like it, a great way to help out is by being a Patreon supporter. Doing that helps make this show possible, but it also gets a lot of perks for you. You can get every episode a week early ad free. You get access to a Discord where you can meet a lot of other people who love the show and actually hang out with Jaren and I every month on a hangout. And we're also in that Discord chat all the time, hanging, talking with people, talking about episodes and just random stuff in life. It's super fun. 34:28 We do, there's a way to get birthday messages, a free gift, merch discounts in there. So there's a lot of really great reasons to be a Patreon supporter. You get a lot of benefits out of it. And it also makes the show keep happening. So if that sounds great to you, you can go to support.tilling.com or tilling.com slash support, uh or just tilling.com and search around until you find the links and become a Patreon supporter. really appreciate you doing that. But if not, right back to the episode, right? 34:56 This guy, he... 35:04 What? Just freaking do it in the mic. If you're going to do it, just do it into the mic. do it in the mic. do in the mic. Just do your bit in the mic so people can actually hear it. I don't think people can hear that. It's too quiet. He's going to have to do all this post-processing your dumb little bit. 35:21 I'm not 35:24 Like, just go! 35:29 Can I have one of those though one of what fruit stacks you're opening up under the table right now? Show me your other hand. 35:38 What are you talking about? Okay, so this is where they in. 35:59 Okay. You put it on the seat. It's my phone. Okay. uh 36:11 him. That's my phone. I don't stop doing the phone, but I know it's there for there. Okay, an hour and two minutes. Come on buddy, do the podcast. So this guy he he got out of prison. He was being represented. He's been represented by Olin Berg a few times and 36:41 this guy, Paul Cron, he got a job as a mechanic, but he, after one of his big scores, he bought this plot of land, it was right on the lake, and he had this dream of building this dream home on this land, but he is making less than $2,000 a month. 37:02 He does slowly. You did that. I'm a joke. Okay, are you good as his dream of building this dream home on the property, but he's not. He doesn't make enough money to build a home. He doesn't make enough money to buy a home and so he's like he's like I need one. Oh, speaking of this man, sorry, this is an actual time. This is an actual danger. We my neighbor 37:32 Fred, we've talked a lot about, you know, they're our neighbors for life. we move, they move. This is a good idea. He wants us to rent a house together. Yeah. And so he, he scheduled a tour of this house that he found on Zillow. $9,500 a month is the rent, but it has a main house that has five bedrooms. And then it has like a second house in the back. It's a one bedroom little ranch style, like a mother-in-law quarters type house. And so he's found this $9,500 a month. They call them next gen suites now. 38:00 Is that what they're called? Yeah, because it's for your kids because your kids can't afford to move out anymore. Woof. Yeah, isn't that great? Sucks. which is unfortunately the future. Like we're going to have to have multi-generational homes. but this house was built by the people who... So apparently the small house was the main house and then this couple built this house for their growing family and it's this oval. The floor plan doesn't make any sense, but it's... 38:28 incredible. It was built at the six, the the sixties or fifties and so like the stairs, two sets of staircase go past each other. Oh yeah, yeah, it's like inside the house is beautiful. It's like like that mid century moderns. It for sure needs renovated. Yeah, you know, it needs some updating, but it's like the floor plan is incredible and uh and Reagan's like oh my gosh, this house is like there's no house. There's no house like this. This is a one of one. No other house looks like this kind of thing right. 38:56 the utilities. you guys wait? Did you actually go do the tour? We went and did the well. The realtor wasn't really there. The back door was wide open crazy, so we just explore the house, but it was a big house and it was pretty you know, pretty pleasant and then the realtor shows up and and this is like what are you doing here? I actually feel bad because I don't think Fred realized that my neighbor, I you know it's like we're wasting this guy's time because like we're probably not going to this yeah you know and whatever. If it was an open house sure, but he 39:25 schedule an appointment. don't know. I didn't like it anyway. So realtor shows up and then I didn't care because the realtor was like, yeah, we're actually looking for a short term 12 to 18 months because the person bought it, bought the property. He's going to tear both houses down and build a bigger mansion here. My God. As soon as you said that, Reagan went, all right. I wanted to leave because like you're going to tear down a house that has character and is beautiful and nice to put up a square mansion. Yeah, that's like a huge giant house. Yeah, that sucks. 39:53 I'm so sick of house slippers. I'm really tired because like you're going to buy a house, you're going to spend $30,000 to take any kind of character. All the stuff that's put in in the sixties, you're going to take out the tile, you're going to do all the, you're to put in crappy stuff. And then you're going to list it for $120,000 more to make a return on your investment. Then I'm have to buy this for an inflated price. 40:18 that I take out all the stuff you put on another $50,000 to undo the crap you did. That sucks. Yeah, I would love to be able to buy a home and spend my parents bought a home in the 20s. They spent the next 10 years re no longer than they spent like they spent 14 years slowly renovating that house. Yeah, would love to be able to do it. I remember very clearly in the mid 2000s am eating my fruit snacks living in my parents backyard because I'm a millennial who can't afford a home. 40:46 ah I remember very clearly in the mid 2000s, a family at our church got into house flipping. It was like right when that trend started. And I will say back then it was less of like the cheapest materials, whatever. Like it was like, we're actually trying to make something of this home. But then 2008 happened. Yeah. But they got stuck in one of the houses. Like they had to move into one of the houses that they didn't finish because 41:12 they didn't have the cash anymore. But people were buying homes that were like bad. Yeah, they were buying. And that's the difference. Yes. Is if you're, I don't have a problem. make your, if you are buying a home that needs a ton of renovation. Yeah. Sure. That's not what's happening. A of these people are buying houses that are that, you know, need need renovation for sure. Like your house. 41:38 I would, I would have to do a lot of work at that place. had to do a lot of work at that place, but like I would go, could buy it now. It's, sucks, but I would buy it and I would spend the next 10 years making it better. You know, could move someone in for like 12, dude, the bathroom doesn't even have little covers and the light switches in that house. That's actually true. Yeah. 41:59 we never bothered putting them on all the doors in the house or baby proof baby can't even walk yet. Everything baby, baby, baby, baby, know, there's no need to baby proof stuff when that baby can't go anywhere is what I'm saying. No need to have the door handles. That kid can't touch that door handle for several years. Every morning we wake up and I take my baby and I put his feet on my feet and then I duct tape his legs to my legs. 42:23 and so that way he's forced to stand up and then get used to that started normal. Didn't it that started kind of normal? It's like we're walking and he's like 42:32 and so he's getting really good at walking yeah. I throws up everywhere doesn't I throw up everywhere our fifty like our in fifteen. So anyway, so the one I'm trying to say is Paul wants his dream home. Hinds owes a lot of people a lot of money because he's a gambler. He's a generate gambler with a fake high school diploma and Hines one day is reading a book because it's the seventies. They don't have social media yet 43:01 And I don't know where he got this book, library probably. He's reading this book and he's reading this book, somebody in this, whatever this book was, I don't know what the book was, but he's reading this book. And in the book it says, Teal Albrecht has $2 billion. And he says, oh, that's what I'll do. I'm going to kidnap the founder of Aldi. 43:24 Tim. 43:26 Why did we do so many bits on a story that's interesting? Quit doing this to me, bro. When you start an episode with a 10 minute stupid tangent and then you go, I'm going to kidnap the founder of Aldi, that's crazy. Start with that. I wouldn't have told any of the credit. Cut out the bit about the cruise ships. We wouldn't have done any of stuff. 43:51 So he calls up his buddy, Paul, and says, Hey, you want to kidnap the founder of all D and he's like, yeah, that sounds cool. Dude, I'm texting Andy right now. Hey, you guys working on family for you together. Also, do you want to kidnap the founder of all D with us? Just try to gauge interest. Tilling ninjas or butterflies criminals, crime, crime. That's the thing that unites every podcast. 44:22 What is that time I start shaking hands? He just told us that it's good to me. Sorry he's for I'm more of a passive. I'm a passive investor in this business, so I don't pass so funny. Oh, you fell for the old fake hand. It's a fake hand. It's a big hand. 44:51 I'm gonna start doing that to people that's crazy. Okay, okay, so okay, so he's like all right, shut up everything about this, whatever. Okay, so he's like okay, we're gonna kidnap the founder of Aldi. Yeah, okay, yeah, so one night in November, nineteen seventy one he and Paul they get up, they get together and they said okay, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna kidnap him and they said good call and then they got the phone and they called his wife and they said ring ring. This is 45:20 They called Teo's wife. it's Teo's wife picks up and she says hello and he says, Hey, miss Albrecht, we just want to let you know that tomorrow we're going to kidnap your husband. Do not call the police. Do not try to stop us. As long as you follow our demands, everything's going to be okay. We're going to release him in due time. And she was like, okay, you haven't done this yet. And they're like, yes, we're doing it tomorrow. And she says, okay. And then 45:48 she listened to them. She just was like I'm not going to tell anybody and so then the next day, could you imagine how mad I would be if I get kidnapped and then later it comes out that my wife was like oh yeah, they give me a heads up about that. Yeah, they told me they were going to do that. They told me they're ready that you don't want to maybe even be like hey, watch out tomorrow. You don't want to like give me a subtle clue of like hey today is going to be really weird. Hey, watch your back today. Okay, if you're leaving and your wife says watch your back today, 46:19 so yeah. So he goes to work, does his work day on the way out of work. They kidnap him. How do they kidnap him? They they just grab them. They threw him in the back of his own car as he was trying to get in his car. They threw him in the back of his own car, covered up his hands, covered up a backseat yeah, the backseat of his own car and then they drove out with his own car. Here's the thing you're way more kidnapable than I am. Look at you. Let's try it. Imagine let's hire a team to kidnap both of us and see who gets tapped. 46:47 Okay, but imagine I can't get into the back seat of a car willingly. I can't do that when I want to do it. That's true. Yeah, try to get an uber is awful. Yeah, you could get me in the back seat of a car that doesn't have a back seat. Yeah, you will be comfortable in the back of a two thousand one Ford Ranger. I love the back of a Ford Ranger. 47:16 That's the context quote. I love the back of a Ford Ranger. No, those were great. They had the sideway. We don't have to explain. They're great. They're great. The back of a Ford Ranger was great. Hands up. Don't shoot. 47:38 You're to put me in the backseat of your car officer. 47:44 uh Tim, it's been an hour and half, so 47:53 so they throw him the back of the car. They pull out in the street. They're driving across town and as they're driving across town, is he just in the back seat being like yes, like yes, tied up and everything in the back seat, but mean like out the window looking at other cars. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like I guess not because there's actually we know that they leave. They're at like a stop sign somewhere else in town. The car next one pulls up and they realize oh that's his brother Carl and they see Carl looking 48:21 and later we know carls like yeah he's like I saw that I was like oh that's my brother's car and then he saw the people in the cars. I guess somebody else has the same car as my brother and then just kept driving didn't notice didn't notice his brother tied up in the back. Maybe that's a tactic. Maybe that's why Jojo see what has her face all over her car because there's nobody else who's got that you know. I'm about some people, but it's weird that your car looks just like Jojo. what wow so they take them. They take them home. 48:49 they park him in the garage to wear his house, hide his house, yeah, okay, and so they park him in the garage and then they go inside and then they are like okay. Well, we'll deal with him in the morning. We just leave him out there in the next morning. They come out and they're they get in the car and they're like what are we going to do and they try to finger it out and he's been stuck in the car overnight. He just kind of left in there and he was like all right. I guess I'm stuck. I guess I'll stay in here. Yeah, I'll stay in my own car. Yeah exactly and they overnight. He couldn't figure out a way to get out. I guess not. I feel like that's not a secure plan. Well, 49:18 it worked. And so the next day they're like, okay, this is not a permanent solution. We got to figure something out here. And so they're like, they realized we have, we don't have even anything close to a plan yet. And they're like, we don't know how we're going to get a ransom. We don't know where we're going to put this guy. We don't know anything about what we're going to do. And we don't know how we're going to transport them. So they start trying to figure out what they're going to do and they ended up deciding, Hey, okay, we can roll them up in a rug and take them to my office. 49:46 Heinz is law firm office. He's not dead by the way, so if you roll up in a rug and you walk him through the office and he just goes hey guys, I'm in the 50:02 I'm in the rug! Here's the rug. 50:10 Okay, so they could he's not dead yeah, so one of them went out and picked up a rug from the rug store and then these guys are dumb. How old are these guys at this point? I mean, I think heines. I don't know for sure, but I think kinds is roughly fifty um cron is younger. He's like okay, when he's early thirties, okay, and so heines is heines is like. Okay, you go out and get a rug. I'll wait for you here. I'll watch him and then he goes gets the rug. They come back 50:37 And they're like, okay, we're to have to drive him outside of town so we can transport him from this car to uh a Volkswagen, a larger Volkswagen van. Sure. We can actually roll the rug up and have him in there rolled up where there's room for that. And so they drove outside of town, they roll him up in the rug and then they drive back to his office. The problem that they realized though was, oh, he's taller than the rug that we got. So now he looks like a pig in a blanket. 51:06 yeah, head and feet are just sticking out this rug and they're like this is this looks more conspicuous and so they just told them. They said they said you're going to have to walk with us into the office and if you say anything we're going kill you and he was like okay in front of everybody. Well, that's what they told. I feel like okay and so they go into his office building. They walk into his office building, walk him up the stairwell, pass his office, yeah, whose office they're going to hinds his office, hinds his law. Okay, okay, okay, the law firm yeah and so they walk them 51:35 up the staircase and then they walk, they walk through the hallway. He hears the sound of church bells and the streetcar outside. And then, and then they walk him past this really long, thin bathroom. And then they take them into this like closet and they say, you're going to have to stay here. And they lock them in this closet. But conveniently, um, for Tao, uh, they had set up like a living arrangement there. So there's like a little bed. There was like a desk. Um, it was like, 52:02 relatively comfortable. was like it was kind of like a cheap airbnb. There's a bad. There's a desk where you can do your little drawings if you want yeah, and so they they came in the next day and they took a suit and they took it. Don't worry about that skeleton in the corner. He's the last guy. It's like very clearly it's on the stick and everything is very clearly from a science class, but they got it. They're like this is the last guy who didn't listen to us. Yeah, 52:30 that's what's going to happen to you. It's the eight foot skeleton from home depot like that's the last guy who did it. 52:40 it's like yeah. I believe that so he didn't fit in the back of his car. Yeah, so the rug was way too small for him, so they they they leave up there our another day. They leave up there another day. Okay, come back in the morning and they take a suit and they go get it dry clean. Now this has been three days. Yeah, 53:03 they take a suit. go get a dry clean so that way he'll look nice and fresh when they drop him back off once nice. We want you to look at looking good and then they and then they leave them there and then at no point they haven't made any demands yet. No and his wife knows his wife's like yeah, you got kidnapped. Hey, where's he got? Where's your husband at now? He's on a retreat right now. You got kidnapped. 53:23 I'm waiting for the ransom. I guess I don't really give me any details. They just told me not to say anything. I let it happen. Yeah, yeah, you know and I'm just waiting for them to do. Well, they're gonna do. does a podcast with his best friend and they were kind of like and and so I just figured it was part of that figured is a bit for the show. Yeah, but maybe this is real now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, should I be worried? 53:49 worried. 53:56 three hours, buddy. I thought you were said to a bit. You said worried and you were taking a long sip and I was just waiting for you to continue three hours, three at four and a half hours with the reporting going way too long. So I got stuff to do today, so the days start ticking by okay, three days, four days, five days. They're feeding him. I'm yeah, they're feeding him. They're actually feeding him well. They're bringing him like steak and potatoes like they're feeding him well and he's like he's there 54:26 I'm worth $50 billion. This steak is non-medium rare. Like I like the idea that you're being held captive and yet still. But you're still like, this is not good enough for me. And so. 54:54 50 billion dollars 55:09 And then you called it out You didn't just let me do the bit that makes me so You see how easy it is to get him dude 55:24 you're like a kid that like the peekaboo game gets you every time, so if I if I find little new peekaboo's I could be like okay, I'm just going to use this so much. uh 55:41 Okay, so so five days go by and nothing has happened. I just can't believe this show isn't growing by the way we just played peekaboo at six hours into recording. Ali dude, so he's like we're five days into this. Nothing has happened. Yeah, he's like he's like I even he's like hey, guys need help. He's like you guys know who to even ask for a ransom. Well, he's sitting there and he's like and waiting for him to negotiate. I guess well, that's what he says. He said he's a 56:11 He said tail. You are worth two billion dollars. He says you have built a grocery store empire and the way you've built this empire is by going to farmers and distributors and negotiating lower prices. So that way you can sell discount goods to the people of Germany and greater Europe and he's like I can negotiate my release. So the next time they show up. Oh, this is him talking to himself. Yeah, I thought you were saying that Heinz went into the room, sat at the desk and was like tail 56:40 you have negotiated billions like I was like this him. I pick himself up. Okay, okay, okay, so he's he's he's going to start negotiating his rise that so they they show up again. This is day five okay and he says hey, I'll give you guys a hundred thousand dollars if you let me go and they say no, that's not enough and they leave them there for three more days and they don't talk to him and they don't talk to anybody else and it just continues being this thing. 57:10 where they are not taking any action. They kidnapped this guy and they clearly this is such an adhd thing to do to by the way you have a plan. You're like let's kidnap a guy you do. You call his wife or kidnapping tomorrow. You go, you can have a tomorrow and then you put him in your office and then you kind of forgot yeah. You're like I got a couple of things you're like oh you like open the closet to get something like I forgot you there. 57:37 Hey, thanks for listening to things I learned last night. It would do us a huge favor if you could just share this episode with somebody or just share the show. Tell someone you like it. That helps us grow the show. Another way to help us grow the show is to support our merch, which is actually super comfy. We changed to a new merch supplier a couple of years ago called fourth wall. You can buy our stuff at shop.tillin.com. None of this is a pressure by the way, but it just really does help us grow the show and it helps, you know, get the word out and people ask me about my hoodie in the airport all the time. So they're really comfy. Would love for you to support the show. 58:06 And either way, thanks for being here. We're glad that we get to do this podcast. 58:15 100,000. No, I think I want to. I know I can get more. I'll hold on. I'll talk to you later. Hold on. A week goes by you're doing stuff and you hear a little thud in the closet and you're like, is that a goat? Oh, it's that kid. It's that that kidnapped the person. I got Lee. That's that man. I nabbed. I may have nabbed that guy. So, but you haven't 58:43 you haven't asked anybody for a ransom you haven't yeah exactly. They're just holding them and so then they start then they're like we've had them for too long. We need to send a letter to his wife and so they go in there and they say hey here's a piece of paper. Here's a pen. We need you to write a letter to your wife and but you're not going to write it. We're going to tell you what to write so that way it looks like it's from your handwriting but we're going to tell you what to write. Okay, so they dictate a letter to him 59:12 that's basically like, hey, I've been kidnapped. I'm OK. Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be fine. I'll see you soon. But there was no demands in the letter. And they just shipped off the letter to be like, yeah, everything's OK. And so at this point, his wife is like, maybe I should talk to somebody about this. police, two months ago, someone called me and said they were going to kidnap my husband. And I just haven't come to you. 59:41 and honestly it just came one of those things where like every passing day made it worse. Yeah, it's like it's like now it's been too long and then it's like you know so I'm saying I couldn't do it. I didn't do it the day after now I've waited too long and you know so I'm just I'm really starting please don't just I'm pulling the band aid right now. My husband's been kidnapped. There's they don't want anything that yeah they don't want anything. Sorry, sorry. 01:00:08 I don't know why they get down to it. They're not talking. I'm really sorry about that. I'm so mad at myself. I'm so mad at myself. There he goes doing that bit again. Here it is working. Seven hours. We've been recording for seven hours. It's about to reset. It's literally been two seconds. We've hit the limit. Okay, keep going. 01:00:38 so uh so she contacts the police. The police are like oh, we love this. We're going to get on this. um We love kidnappings and so they put together a team to pretend to be his wife and they go to his wife's house, also his house and they wear costumes and I don't understand. They wear costumes, they're armed, they get on a call that they record with the kidnappers and 01:01:09 wait there in costume. You know we got to look like we got to look like them. I got to get into character like that's just a theater kid that works with police dude. Oh, you know what help we get into character. We got to dress like a friggin Mrs Doubtfire. They met her around for a week. I'm a wife and they're like yes. Hello Mrs. Teo. We've talked to we've we've we talked on the phone. Well, two years ago, two years ago, 01:01:39 seven hours ago and so we don't, honestly, you don't remember what she sounds like. So the police, okay, so they go to her house, so they go to her house. He they get the people to call. They get on the phone and they basically negotiate the release with them and what they agree to is a seven million doish mark ransom, okay, which I maybe I should just use the calculator. I was going to try to do it in my head. I was like this is not going to work. 01:02:07 Uh, translates to in us dollars today, this would be about $16 million. Okay. And so enough to pay his debts, enough to build this guy's house and enough for them both to live off of for a little while after this. Okay. And they were like, yeah, I think that'll work. We like that amount. And they say we can meet up at this one location, uh, at this like nondescript location by this lake. Um, and 01:02:37 we'll bring him, you bring the money and we'll do the do the handoff, we'll do the swap. They arranged this meeting and they were like the police said, okay, there's a possibility that they're going to bring a double a body double. It's not actually him and they're going to try to fool us into thinking that this is the guy, but it's not really the guy. And so they said, we're going to have to have a way to verify that it's really him, but we can't bring his wife. That's dangerous. We put her in the line of fire. That's risky. We can't do that. 01:03:05 so we have body double we need that that knows what he looks like. Okay, then I said we need to bring his priest will bring his priest along and the priest will ask him questions to verify that it's him that only he would know the answer to okay. It's like it's like when you forgot your past, what's your first dog's name? 01:03:31 A little priest caller. 01:03:36 Hello, Hello. Hello, child. What city was your mother born in? 01:03:44 And a lot of people don't know that that's how they came up with that for the Internet. I guess it's this it's this case eight hours going so they show up, they get him out of the car and it's it feels similar to weekend at Bernie's because the two criminals they pull tail out of the car and he's like in his suit that they just freshly dry cleaned again because it's been weeks since they got a dry clean last he's wearing sunglasses at night, but they've also duct taped his eyes. You can see the duct tape behind the sunglasses because they don't want him to see 01:04:14 is it just like squares of duct tape over his eyes and he's wearing this like that looks like them, but we can't see his eyes. So I don't know for sure as they say father, it's your job. It's priest father. You're up send in the priest, which honestly pretty sick. So the pretty we need like an action poster where the priest is like ripping through the yeah, the garb and is just like jacked gun just loaded. 01:04:43 cross guns, cross guns. I like the sound of this um so like a BB comics yeah yeah yeah I like that yeah yeah. You always do this, so the priest comes up to him and says hey a couple weeks ago you got a new arm war. What type of wood was it 01:05:13 tail was like I don't know do Mahagany. What the heck you talking about security question is that I did not set that security question up, so he gets that question wrong and everyone's like oh it's a body double and he's like don't worry. I got two more questions for you. These guys aren't smart enough to think body. They couldn't get him in a rug that was large enough for him, so they he's like he's like don't worry. I got a couple more questions and he says what's your wife's name? 01:05:44 so really dialed back the severity after that okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, I know that I know that I know that and then where were you born and so he's like well you got two out of three it's probably him. Good to figure out the armors got me really curious, but I don't know if he don't even know where an arm war is it's like a closet. It's like a it's like a stand up. It's like a stand up cause I don't have a closet. It's like a dresser, but as a closet okay, because you're building to put a closet a wardrobe. Yes, yeah, 01:06:13 It's another word for wardrobe. Yeah. Yeah. So uh they're like, yeah, it's him. And so they're like, okay, you, you pass us the guy, we'll pass you the money. And they're like, okay. And then did the past, they did the exchange and then the police loaded him into the car. They load the money in the car and they left and they went their separate ways and they immediately skipped town. They're like, we got to get out of here. They checked the, they checked their, the, the briefcases. Money was real. They said, okay, 01:06:43 perfect. We're outside town. uh I think we got away. Let's bury this somewhere, so they buried all the money because they were worried it was going to get sure yeah. The police took him home, took him to the wife and said we're not sure if it's really him two out of three questions right and they're like look at them and they took us duct tape off. Didn't have any eyelashes because the tape, but then he was like oh yeah, I'm pretty sure that's him. ah She was like I'm pretty sure 01:07:08 pretty sure I think that's him. It'll do. I don't know. It's been like four weeks. I don't really remember it'll do so. He gets back the next day. He goes back to work at Aldi immediately um and then not even kidding a couple weeks later. He buys Trader Joe's while this whole case is going over. Oh um yeah, and then they start expanding Trader Joe's, um but then the police are like well, we let those guys go, but a plan was like we're going to get them. Wait, so all the interior Joe's are owned by the same people. Yeah, 01:07:37 Yeah, they bought trade. Those trade. It wasn't founded by them, but they bought trader joes and then they expanded them. That's why they feel so similar. They don't feel similar. They feel very similar. Trader joes feels like american aldi. Okay, they feel so so anyway. uh You're been to trade rose trader joes great trader joes. Stop talking. Don't talk about about her joes. Don't say anything. I'm not saying anything bad about trader joes. Okay, 01:08:02 trade of does feels like if someone went into an all day and we're like what if this was a little better? No, I was going to say a little harder to afford to trade. Rose is cheap. Are you kidding? You've not been a trade. It's not the same as all the all these way cheaper than Trader Joe's. Okay, I am telling you, Trader Joe's is affordable. 01:08:25 Okay, I we literally explain it's because I want to or just a trade or jose. The only trader just here is in Lee and the prices weren't bad. It's not worth the drive over to lee would from your house. Maybe I don't know anyways, so I'm not going to let you gaslight me on the prices that trader jose versus the price. I can buy a dozen eggs for three dollars forty nine cents. Yeah, it's pretty and my trader jose versus like 01:08:54 seven dollars at Ralph's yeah seems like you don't know how much it costs. 01:09:02 so he's off by Trader Joe. feel insane. I feel insane right whatever did he's off by Trader Joe's and you what does like work a lot of money supporting us on Patreon. That's pretty cheap. We made that cheap on purpose because no one wants to do it. 01:09:24 No people want to do it. We like them a lot. Thanks for doing it. Thanks for things. No, I already did the pitch. Just move on. Thank you. You get less of this. We promise we cut this with all this stuff cut out. This we make the pores. Listen to this. I'm sorry you're too poor to get to the seven hours of recording. Keep going. So I'm so mad right now he's off by in trader chose the please are like. All right, let's track those guys down. Okay and so 01:09:52 Ines goes home to his girlfriend and his girlfriend's really worried because she knows that he's off with all these other girls. She doesn't know that he kidnapped this guy. Okay, he comes home one night covered in mud and she's like that's weird. There's no mud at your office and she's like what do why so dirty and he's like I was a work thing and she's like it was a team building retreat where we all went out to the woods and then voted one person to die and we buried him. We buried him alive 01:10:21 he's he's is really brought us all together. I don't know if he's alive anymore. It's we all trauma bond it over. Do people keep doing these breakout rooms or they go higher and improv team? No dude, kill someone in your office. Have your whole team coming together and can vote someone out. Yeah, then trauma bond over that. Yeah, yeah, no one will ever quit again because you got dirt on him. 01:10:48 I'm so mad that you ruin bits like this. I hate that you take funny stuff and make it unfunny. 01:11:00 I really hate when you do that. Okay, so you got dirt on. It's really funny because it's like slinging mud on your co workers, so he so the police are like okay. We're gonna track these guys down. I just feel buried. Hines goes to Mexico um and cron is cron was always kind of the the grunt guy in this whole job. It was very clear that Heinz was kind of taking advantage of cron 01:11:29 Yeah, and so cron got stuck with being the grand guy uh hides took seven million dollars and left and gave ten thousand dollars to cron, uh which is not cron to build his house right and not even close to enough for cron to build his house. The police, this obviously hits the news and everyone's like all the ceo kidnapped for a month and his wife said nothing and they're like, but we got to be the main story. Don't worry, we got them uh 01:11:57 we actually have the recording of the phone call with the crook and we're going to play that on air and anybody who recognizes the voice of the guy come forward so we can track him down and get him. And so really yeah, so we have the audio of it. No. Okay, so they play the audio and uh cron is at now cron is at his parents house with his sister. uh 01:12:25 all adult sister and they're just having tea watching TV that night together, the watching family feud back when there was decorum and then this special comes on and they play this the sound and the the story goes. I don't know if this is true, but the story goes that the family all immediately knew that that was him and they all look all this in there and you get a little clinging of the teas and go and everything just gets silent and they all do the thing where they go. 01:12:59 Did you kidnap the founder of Haldy? And so? Nine. 01:13:10 Why do you argue with everything I say? So he didn't even look at deny, deny, deny. That's Tim's playbook. He didn't say anything. You didn't look at his family. He just left. He just got up and left. He goes, this is too. Oh no. So he leaves and his parents are like, yeah, we're going to, I think we're going to have to call it cops and our son. And so they call it in. Meanwhile, would you please get another tip? 01:13:40 on your kid yeah. I feel like all true yeah. I feel like you have to for kidnapping where the guy's fine. I think we're like something really bad yeah. I think you have to because I think what happens inevitably it comes back that you knew and you also go down for it, but it's like you have other people you're responsible. So you're protecting yourself over your kid. No, I literally just said you have other people you're responsible for and so you have the other children. You have your spouse, you have your own plays 01:14:10 so I'm just making sure that if I did something bad, you would not help cover. You would wrap me out because you're like I have other people to responsible for absolutely. Okay, you would rat me out to no I would less. There was a good enough reward in that I would get something for it. I'm going to rat you out for the game. I got to do this for you think I like to help cops yeah. I'm going to hey, I'll tell you for a hundred thousand dollars. 01:14:38 Yeah, I'm starting to negotiate the reward. Oh, wait a minute. Hey yeah, the reward. I thought the reward is fifteen thousand dollars for information on this. Would you guys do all right anyway? We've been here for four days and then they've been record simultaneously get a tip from a shop clerk at an electronic store. Okay, who recently sold a home stereo system and was like hey, I'm 01:15:06 really confident that the guy I sold this home stereo system to was the guy on that phone call. How distinct are their voices? You know, I'm like how did he damn like this? Was he like hey, you better pay the rent and then you hear it. You go. I'm pretty sure I heard that terrifying voice the other day when I sold that stereo system. How unique is your voice? I don't know. That's a good question. So the police, they get a call from both of them and they say let's go to the stereo guy first. 01:15:36 So they go the stereo guy and what they did that was what they always do is they took note of all the serial numbers on the bills that they gave these guys. Oh, of course, and so then they said show us the bills and then he's like yep. This is our guy ah and so they went and they got paul. They arrested paul and paul they entered. They're interrogating him trying to figure out who the other guy involved was paul is like tight lipped. He's not going to talk about it. Meanwhile, hindsight is on a plane of Mexico uh 01:16:04 after weeks of interrogation, there was nothing that they had to point them to Heinz. Paul finally cracks and they managed to go get Heinz extradited and they put him ah on trial for it. Okay, and so both of them ended up getting arrested. Both of them were sentenced to eight and a half years in prison. What's interesting is only half the ransom was ever recovered, so there's three and a half million dollars still out there somewhere buried, and the story is that uh 01:16:32 both of them. They got released from prison. Both of them live pretty low profile lives. After this, we don't know a lot about what they did. Sure, we do know that all in Berg recently died in twenty eighteen and what is largely believed is that that remaining three and half million is what he lived off of for the rest of his life. He may have to go dig that up wherever he had it and live off that because it was only an eight year sentence. It's the moral of the story is it doesn't matter how bad you're at it. It's only eight years in prison. 01:17:03 Eight years. That's how long it took us to do this episode. Wow yeah, so all the ended up becoming like a giant brand to they still own Trader Joe's. It's still on Trader Jones. They still own Aldi, obviously Trader Jones, Trader Trader Jones, Trader Jones, Trader Jones, Trader Joe's cheap, affordable, pretty decent food, Trader Joe's Trader Joe's. Maybe it's not expensive, but it's it feels like it's trying to 01:17:30 appeal to the oh I agree. We actually we thought that we thought it was expensive yeah, so we were shopping around for a long time and then we went to Trader Joe's. I don't know why we went to Trader Joe's because oh, I think I saw like a thing online. It was like one of their pre made meals and I was like oh, let's go try that yeah and I and we went in and I was like wait this pack of chicken is three dollars yeah like this. This is crazy. Yeah, I think I think we do our entire girl. I'm not tell I'm Joe. I'm not joking when I say that we took our grocery bill from like three hundred dollars a week to a hundred and twenty 01:17:59 Yeah, I mean, maybe it is because what I did is what I did was I got a I all I ever bought there was a jar of salsa and it was like nine dollars. I was like this is a pretty pricey thing. A salsa is decent. Nine dollar like organic salsa. I don't remember. There's jars of salsa that are a little 99 cents. That's crazy because that's not what it's not what it was there. Okay, I can't keep doing this with you. Can I go back and forth? 01:18:29 can't do it. I don't think you know how much it costs there. Hey, instead of the fiddle lock, we see the family few theme song. That's prices right. Is that prices right? Okay, wait, hold on. on. I got it. That's very similar. 01:18:55 Hey, thanks for being here. Please share this episode with somebody else. Tell somebody about the show. Maybe not this episode, maybe a different one. Maybe one where we stayed on track more often, maybe share the gardener museum heist. It's an episode where these 40 minutes him. 01:19:13 I'm so sick of you right now. Garment museum. Heises episode where two guys stole a bunch of heart that still fits in and so they taped up the security guard in the basement. It's a great episode. We'll see you next Tuesday for another episode of things on last night.


Theo Albrecht and his brother Karl Albrecht built Aldi from a single family-owned grocery store in post-war Germany. Born in 1922, Theo grew up watching his parents run a small shop during hard times. After World War II devastated much of Germany, the brothers rebuilt what was left of the store. Their focus was simple: sell essential goods cheaply and … Read More

The Time Aliens Possessed a Pilot | Rafael Perez Ep 295

10-07-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Happy to be here. Good. Have you ever heard of Raphael Pacheco Perez? Yes, really. I don't know. Why do you Pacheco Pacheco a fighter? Is that what I know that from? Oh, you're gonna you're gonna actually you're probably gonna want us to take this out. Actually, the fact that you don't know Isaiah Pacheco, that's why I'm thinking that from that's where you know 00:29 Rafael Pacheco Perez? 00:35 interesting. So anyway, so he as a professional pilot. Okay, first of all, you're not a professional pilot. You're an amateur pilot. That is too sad to fly, too sad to fly. My wings got clipped by my uh 00:56 Things I learned last night. oh 01:05 What am I thinking of then I this okay? Keep going okay? Sorry, yeah, why would I want to take that out? I'm not ashamed that you don't know the chiefs running back. Oh, that's why I'm thinking of that. Yes, is that, but that's not who we're talking about. No, yeah, so I has the same last name right, but you were just like why I know Pacheco right, but I was thinking wasn't there a UFC or not a UFC a boxing match between a Pacheco. That's what I was going for. 01:34 Let's see Pacheco Boxer. Let's find out. I thought you were like oh you're embarrassing. You don't know boxers and I was like what are you talking about? Diego Pacheco yeah, that's what I okay. I just I really was pretty confident that you were thinking of Isaiah Pacheco and you didn't remember him. Nope, let's think of the boxer. I don't think you were. You don't think I was thinking of the boxer when I said is this guy a fighter and you were like actually Pacheco was a fighter 02:04 we fought hard for every down like don't try to shame me dude. Anyway, this episode is about Diego Pacheco. uh Okay, who is this episode about for real though? Rafael Pacheco Perez, Rafael Pacheco Perez. Go for it. Yeah, so he okay. Hold on. First of all, I started doing this thing 02:30 I started like, I've got this new icebreaker that I've been trying out. 02:37 that's here. I just like ask people this in line sure like just like when there's a law in conversation places and ice breaker. I've got this new ice breaker. This can't go anywhere good. 02:52 Go ahead. I've been saying so 03:08 I kill a killer, pretty fine, so was the last time you've been in a fight. People love this question, especially strangers. I just say people. If someone turned to me, I'm in line of the grocery store. Someone turns to me and goes so when's last time you've been in a fight, I would go. Is it about to be right now right now? Are you about to fight me? 03:38 What are you talking about? Why are you small talking people, but the fights? Well, I first did this. That's pretty funny. I did to my dad the other day. We working on my wife's car and we were just like he was working on your wife's car. You were standing there flashlight in their wrench and stuff. I was like so dad was 04:03 It's been a while. Is that what I last? Yeah, when's the last time you've been in a fight? I don't know. High school maybe I think my last fight was probably fresh in your high school. What was it about? Mine was a backyard soccer game that got a little too serious. What was your is a backyard soccer game? I got a little too serious. That's crazy. Was it the were we each other's last? 04:33 we will be come by the time this comes out by the time it was or comes out. Me and Tim will have been each other's last fight. Okay, what a crazy thing to say. I'm one of my ice breakers. I've been asking people in the grocery store 04:52 I've been grabbing milk, freezer. eh It doesn't suction, but it does get little gravity to it. oh I go, so. m 05:02 Did your school do a kill Jennifer day? 05:08 I don't know what's worse. Do school do is a front school day Jennifer's dead out front day. I need I've got to be somewhere else right now. Actually, thanks for asking. I got to get the heck out of here. What? Okay, so you can tell that Tim has nothing to talk about when he's doing bits up front. You can tell that he knows this story to me four minutes long. Tell it 05:34 Rafael Pacheco Perez. uh He was. Let me see if I got a birth date for him. Doesn't matter. He he was a student pilot in the seventies, uh so he was probably like born like nineteen fifty eight, something like that is my guess. uh Sure, we're reporting on it. That's the truth uh made up speculated facts. Okay, 06:02 uh student pilot going through uh the pilots Academy and pilots account, the end of the program on June twenty first, nineteen seventy six was his first solo okay, uh and so uh he was flying. I want to acknowledge something real quick. Yeah, I was laughing before this episode and I couldn't tell you why, but I was reading an article about this and the article 06:31 said he was flying an XBZOX. And I was like, I've never heard of that plane. I look idiot. And it's the tail number. It's the tail number of the plane. I was like, what is this? What's a Cessna XBZOX? It didn't even say Cessna. It just said they were flying an XBZOX plane. they were wrong. They were dumb. They be dumb also. Right. 07:00 so yeah, was a sest in one fifty yeah and he lives in Mexico City and so he was getting ready for a solo flight. The solo the flight path. Here's what it would have been. If he was walking it, it was a five hour walk, but about an hour flight taking off from Mexico City International Air, really super zoomed out. Then there's no way that's five. What well you're also walking through Mexico City and so there is it twenty three kilometers going to take a full hour. Sure, 07:30 a full hour. I don't know, but what I can say for sure, what I can say for sure is taking off from the airport, then there's this little lake there and there's this just kind of open space in Mexico City. Yeah. And I don't know if this is something that happens in the States, but for his solo flight today, the flight plan was take off from Mexico City airport, fly around the lake, do a little test landing in the field by the lake, that open field that where I've got the dot marked. Okay. 07:56 and then take back off, fly back to Mexico City. So maybe the whole flight was an hour. Is there an air strip in this field or is he doing a soft landing? So it's a soft landing. Yeah. Okay, and so and that this is his first solo. So this is like an exciting day for him. The weather wasn't great for a first solo is a little little overcast, but it wasn't like bad by any means. It just wasn't perfect weather, like not what you hope to fly in. Yeah, and so he takes off for this trip 08:25 uh gets up to about nine hundred feet uh and then all of a sudden he disappears from the radar and the uh tower is obviously trying to contact him, try to figure out where he went. He is meanwhile he's in the cockpit of the plane having a difficult time. A lot of his uh instruments stop working effectively. The only thing that's working right is the altimeter, but everything else 08:54 giving him strange readings. It's very what's the word visibility is very low because he's now up in like overcast like the clouds are really low. So visibility is really bad. Okay, next thing he knows he comes out of this cloud and he looks down and he sees water. So he thinks I must be over the lake, but then he continues looking around and he realizes there's more water than there is the lake. So his first reaction is the lake, like grew the lake up bigger. 09:23 sure, but no, he realizes I must be over the ocean uh and this is very strange because obviously the ocean isn't anywhere near a further away yeah and uh and he looks at his altimeter and he's at seven thousand feet and okay, so he's very confused. He starts trying to uh figure out all of his other instruments and quickly he turns to an emergency line and starts trying to contact 09:49 whatever tower he's closest to. doesn't, he doesn't have any idea where he's at or how he got here. Um, and so he ends up, um, coming up over, uh, over the, over tower to this emergency line. And he, he says, help, I'm Rafael Pacheco Perez student 82 from the aviation school of Mexico city. Uh, whoever's out there, please reply. Right. So this comes over a couple of times and tower responds to him. Um, and tower says, uh, 10:18 Hey, we've got you. um there anybody else in the aircraft with you? And he says no. And so then they direct him to take an emergency landing. OK, um he takes this emergency landing and where he ended up was in Acapulco. OK, at the International Airport there. And so he was over the ocean outside Acapulco. Now, I need to note something real quick. We have this map on screen. This map is Google Maps. 10:48 telling you the flight time from Mexico City to Acapulco. Right, right, As a jet. Yeah, that's jet airliner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so this is... would be a couple hours. Yeah, this is a few hour flight, not a one hour flight. It's also over a mountain range, a very high mountain range. Okay. And so him being a student pilot that was just about to take his first solo... 11:11 he was not equipped to fly at the altitude. He was going to have to fly out to get over those maps. You know shouldn't be in the clouds. Yeah, because especially this is first solo. He wouldn't have been in the clouds anyway. Yeah, so there's a lot of things that are going. This isn't an instrument's flight. Yes, exactly uh and so not to mention the other thing that's a little strange about this. He's flying this one fifty and this trip was a short hour long flight with that quick essentially touch and go in a field. 11:40 and so there wasn't fuel to get him to where he ended up. And so what was strange is when he landed, they checked his fuel gauge and he was basically bone dry and so it was kind of strange that he even got where he ended up. Yeah, so he lands and they were like we needed to arrest that guy, so they did. They arrested him okay, because I think I think the reason being is like you can't just fly around for no reason. Yeah, you can't just steal a plane 12:12 he's like, I'm a student pilot. They're like, no, you're not. And he's like, I'm from this school. They're like, that school doesn't exist. And he's like, what I thought you're to be like, he landed and it was 1998 for twenty years. He was in this cloud. 12:26 So he lands, they interview him, uh and they realize like, like his story checks out, everything he's telling checks out. So he ends up getting to walk away. This becomes like a widely publicized news story. This is okay. uh And obviously like this is a paper from Mexico City telling his story. uh It very quickly gets buried. The Mexican government steps in and buries his story. Okay. 12:54 And what ends up happening is decades later, um audio logs from the tower get released. OK, what happened because and this is I'll tell you why that the story ended up getting buried uh when he ah he was over Mexico City and he flew through this cloud. m And then from his experience, he essentially just appeared in 13:24 a cup of co from his experience. Okay, but what happened from tower in a cup of co is this unknown flight that they did not have on schedule just flew into their airspace right and when it flew into their space, they pinged this flight to identify themselves. uh At first the flight did not identify themselves. They didn't say anything right knowledge, but then pretty quickly um the pilot of the flight asked to move to a separate frequency. 13:53 to have a conversation on a different frequency with Tower. at the beginning, Tower was a little resistant, but I like, just tell us what you're doing. It just tells who you are and why you're somewhere you're not supposed to be. And so eventually they did switch to a different frequency. Okay. From this frequency, what they heard from Rafael was here's a quote. He is speaking because he is ordered to do so. This is this is his voice. 14:23 He speaking out of his own free will, but we are using him as if he were. Yes, we're using him as if he were a microphone. Who's the we, Tim? Who's the we? They then said, who's they? They said, don't matter. They said we don't matter. um 14:47 Did you go with me into an alien episode by making me think this is about pilots and planes? 14:58 It might be an alien episode. 15:09 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's tons of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim like we really look. It's like a virtual just hang out room and we play games together. We talk. We have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode. Tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 15:47 we are speaking through him. Well, I okay. What else did they say? They said we don't matter much. What are you looking for compliments? You're an alien fishing for compliments being like we're speaking through him. We don't matter much and towers like no, you do matter. I was like no, no, you are important. Everybody, everybody, everyone likes you. No, we don't matter. 16:14 sure we sell so many shirts with your face on it down here. Here's what I think actually happened. We'll get to the theory at the end, I guess, but here's what I think actually happened. I think he flew too high and then there was probably carbon oxide or something in the cabin and he's now hallucinating or having some kind of medical emergency. That's actually a really interesting theory that I have not seen anyone say because it because that's what I thought first was that if he went to it into a cloud because like here's the thing about planes. 16:44 planes will you know the fly yeah like they're engineered to float yeah you know like it's not unless you push down that yolk and guide it down like it's it's going to keep flying. So you're saying he in the confusion when the overcast guys were too low. He went up because he wasn't instrument trained right too high got carbon monoxide poisoning passed out well and the altitude signal I did 17:11 the altitude sickness and the carbon oxide poison aren't the same exact thing like. if there's a leak from your engine into your cabin, yeah, like it's basically like you're putting your face up against the exhaust pipe of your car. Yeah, yeah, and so you're getting into it. There's a little indicator in there. That's like a little piece of cork or whatever that can turn colors to be like hey, your car won't open a window. Yeah, you know, that's one thing I would think, or maybe he just got too high and and and didn't know, but either way he shouldn't have flown into a cloud. So that's where I'm saying like the problem 17:41 existed before he flew into a cloud. Yeah, because if he if he's a student pilot on his first solo, then that's he there's no way he's instrument trained. Yeah, you know. Yeah. So it's like he's not. Do you think it's possible for him in a 150 if that's what happened? I'm curious about this. This is an interesting theory for him to glide if he got high enough altitude to glide. like you've got power on the plane. Yeah, you know, I think that if he let's say he passed out, let's just say he passed out. 18:11 okay right. He's going up passes out powers full throttle. Yeah, power is going to keep you going up yeah and at a certain level that engine like with the the Cessna, especially like they just can't reach past a certain height. Yeah, you know and so he's kind of capped out up here where the engines full throttle and you're just flying yeah yeah, you know and as long as you know, as long as you don't know he didn't accidentally 18:36 to the you know it did leveled out. I'm sure yeah, especially if he even if he had cruised and trimmed or whatever it was like he yeah, it's still going to fly forward interesting and so then he wakes up and he's and he doesn't know where he's at and the plane has just been going yeah. That's that's the most lots of interesting theory. The luck that it would take I guess a seven of the mountains. You know, but I'm saying like if that full throttle was up, then he would have just kept going up, but also the luck of like if you're flying and you're 19:04 passed out, then there's no other air traffic that you run into true. You know yeah, I mean this is seventy six right in Mexico, so like I don't know how much traffic they had in that area. That's what I'm wondering. It's like that would that would make the most sense to me that he wakes up and he's over the water and he's like wait a minute. How did I get to him? He's like why close my eyes and open my eyes and there I was yeah, you know, because you don't know how long you were passed out. Yeah, but how do you explain what tower experienced ah 19:35 This guy talks in his sleep. 19:39 that's what I'm saying. He may have been delusional yeah, if it's carbon oxide poisoning, maybe yeah yeah interesting. That's a theory. That's an interesting theory. I haven't heard anyone say that, but I was I wasn't saying he passed out. saying if he passed out the plane will fly the plane will just go yeah yeah yeah. I'm saying it's possible then that the plane's flying yeah and he's able to just talk yeah, but they're talking through me. I'm Raphael Pacheco 20:07 I'm not at the fire. I'm also not the NFL running back. I'm the student pilot from Mexico City, Mexico. I am fire and ice simultaneously within me heat and cold. They co-exist within my soul. What are you saying? It's not what I'm saying. It's what he said. They're saying they're saying this through, you know, saying like he could have been 20:35 that carbon oxide poisoning to me sounds like this is what this is interesting. So anyway, so he as a professional pilot. Okay, first of all, you're not a professional pilot. You're an amateur pilot. That is too sad to fly too sad to fly. My wings got clipped by my they said. They said we theory though. That's my working theory right now. Let me hear what the aliens said and I can I could tell you they said we don't matter much. 21:04 nor where we came from nor where we're going. Just know that we are beings from this universe to which you belong. Our planet is many light years away, but I'll repeat that before it becomes confusing. We're physically the same as you. I repeat that in all races in the universe are physically the same. So we really wanted to know that like we're not any different. You and is a transcript. We have we have audio files of yeah. We have the audio files. This is in Spanish. I was going to play it to you, but it's on Spanish. We don't know uh 21:34 I mean, I'm a professional translator. You've been doing duolingo. I'm on a try. Sure, right. I even do a duolingo. Let's hear what they say. Yeah. Okay, let's try. Hold on. We are going to play it. Alex, you good for the audio. All right, here's here's it's going to end up. It's going to sound rough, but here let me see. Ready? Yeah, 21:54 What do they say? He said no one likes us. We're so lonely. We're so we're such losers. He said, what if I told you I have a crush on someone I know him? That's what he said. 22:25 Ha ha ha ha! 22:29 honestly, honestly English or Spanish. I couldn't understand a word that audio was saying the audios. That's crazy. So is he yelling then so it sounds well yeah he's talking through a weird voice. He's honestly what it's described as is it's honestly what's that guy that you always talk about where the are but char yeah he's doing the bashar voice. Can you do the bashar voice? 22:54 Hello, I am Bush. We are much like you physically. We're all kind of hot. You know, what if the aliens were like, we're physically just like you, we have healthy PMIs like you, but by you, mean just the hot ones. 23:20 not the agos were not like your agos and we are not like your ugly people. We're like your hot people think of the hot that's us. So okay, so yeah. Okay. And how long is the communication go on? There's a forty two minute transcript of him and this tower guy that sounds like a carbon oxide poisoning to me. Then I mean maybe I do yeah, maybe 23:50 They tell the guy from the tower, they say, hey, they're watching. We've been watching humanity from the skies and we need to tell you that you need to change or you're going to cause an irreversible global catastrophe. And he said that it's that your race is so strange because of all the races in the universe. Remember, we're all physically the same. Sure. But he said of all the races in the universe, they're the only ones who kill each other. And he says that you are 24:18 you are creating weapons to the scale of anything, not like anything else in the universe, because we're not out here killing each other. And he's like, you're going to destroy yourselves if you continue down the path that you're on. Right. So very stereotypical, like alien warning that you hear from these things. Sure. Sure. Sure. And the tower agent is very skeptical. And he's so he comes back and said, yeah, if you are so advanced, then how are you? Oh, yeah. 24:48 okay. It's like if you're so advanced, then why are you speaking Spanish right now? Like how and racist? What are you talking about? That's what he said. He said he said if you're so advanced, why are you speaking Spanish? He said, shouldn't you be speaking some like alien language? Oh yeah, I thought you were like learn English you Dom. Oh, that's not what he was saying at all, and so they said that they're able to speak any human language and he said he said prove it. I'm trilingual 25:16 and so he's but he says that in German, tri-lingual always in German. Yeah. So he says that in German and then they responded German and then he started. He asked him a question in English. They respond in English and so then he's like, oh, that's kind of cool. Actually, I'm pretty impressed. You're at least tri-lingual and so he's starting and this is all on the testimony of one air traffic controller. Well, we have the transcript from the like the like log from tower. Okay, so 25:46 ah They then continue on and they tell them you're not alone in this universe. There are many other races um and there are some that we're actually keeping away from you. And so it sounds like these guys are like in charge. The things that they're and it says, we're watching you. And so he says, like, why don't you come and like show us your spacecraft? Like to like give us something to where we can believe you and not just think like this is just some weird, like hallucinating pilot. um And they say we would. 26:14 but you would just kill us. He's like, you're an aggressive. 26:21 true. He says was the last alien showed up in a fight bang, bang, bang, bang, Yeah, they're like, they're like, you would shoot us down. What's the last time you've been in a fight? Okay, and so he they, they say, yeah, you would just shoot us down and he's like, yeah, you're probably right. That is actually probably what we would do and so then the the conversation kind of goes flat. Like they'd stop responding to his questions and answer anything else to say 26:52 And so he continues like kind of poking them trying to get them to say something 27:00 tower to aliens, so 27:09 When was the last time you guys had a fight? 27:13 it's like it's like I think I find it made them mad with that one shoot, shoot, tower to aliens. Y'all do drugs. That was the day or program in Tennessee. Y'all do drugs, please. How's our comes in the classroom? I was doing drug. 27:38 they were housing Tennessee last this hotel. So I'm at this hotel. There's a barbecue place next door right and I can see the smoke coming up from the thing. That's how you was like a real barbecue place or like a well. That's what I'm saying. That's how you know it's a good rest. Yeah is if you see because like I drove past an Arby's today and it's like we smoke the meat. There's no smoke coming out of the top of the Arby's yeah, but like this is a barbecue place next to this hotel. It's got a smoke stack coming out the whole thing right and so I was like dang. I'm gonna get some barbecue 28:08 this. So I did my workout, got a shower, got dressed. I got, uh, it's, it's right next to the hotel. So I walked to it and it's not a barbecue place. It is a funeral home. 28:24 Yeah, that was a crematorium that I was looking at and 28:33 What makes it worse is the front desk. They have a shuttle. They take you around town. The girl, the friend does like, do you need to ride somewhere? I said, no, I'm to walk next door and get some food. 28:50 she was like, excuse me, like what I said, I'm going to walk the place next door and grab a bite. I'm going to get me some barbecue. 29:00 I present truth. 29:12 yikes yeah well anyway, it's a memory I'll have forever. Yeah, I think I was stupid. I felt walking. I was like there's no cars here or none cars here. Oh, there's one car is long. There's a long car. There's a horse man here. It's cool branding. We sick 29:35 were you able to get in? No, I wasn't sure. I wasn't stupid enough to walk all the way to the front door. I rounded the corner, saw the hearse thought hold on and then I saw the sign and said something something funeral home and I went oh and I walked back and I told the person the front desk. I said that's not a restaurant. I didn't know I was a funeral home. You told 30:04 because I needed her. No, I'm not crazy. I go bad and I said I will take that shuttle ride. What did she say? Yeah, I was like, I prefer like, do you guys got like a graveyard? I like my food, a real barbecue. I like a little too well done there. That's crazy. Yeah, I felt really dumb. Oh my God. No, I joked with the girl at the front. I said, I said, Hey, I thought 30:30 I said I saw the smoke. I said I feel really stupid. She was like, yep, she said you need a shuttle and I was like yes, she did. She did a joke with you though. She didn't joke back. That sucks too. There's no way out of that too. If you, if you, if you try to joke with somebody and they don't joke back, you just got to sit in that, know, and you're just like, 30:51 like you try to go with somebody and then they go and this is really mean man. This is a really traumatic time of my life and I can't believe you would make a video about this and a whole song and like that was something that I really struggled with and then you got to be like no corey asbury. It's fine don't you feel it's funny. It's a little joke. It's like a little funny thing we're doing okay, so it's like radio silent. This guy thinks he made the aliens mad. I have their feelings somehow. 31:16 So he's freaking out for a different reason. He doesn't go, oh, we got a pile of those lost their mind. They're flying in the clouds above the mountains. He goes, I've made the aliens mad. 31:29 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your lord and savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 31:58 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 32:26 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 32:50 Did you hear it? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 33:04 and then you're going to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 33:14 I don't want to be. I hate skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too. Bring you leave all this in that 33:28 That's what he thinks. I think he is tracking the flight and being like I've lost contact with fly. I still got a murder. I need to make contact there. Obviously I'm sure maybe I'm wrong. I haven't seen this ATC agent. Is that what they go by? They go by agent ATC operative. What do you what do they call operator? What's that? What's the like term for a person and that runs in tower that talk of it? So the ATC hobbit is like a uh 33:58 I was called 34:04 at of it is feeling like I need to track this flight. You thank you. Okay, thank you. uh The track in the fight, I think what's probably happening. I haven't seen any like interviews with them, so I don't know what they were sure sure sure sure, but I'm sure they were like someone's crazy in this fight and it showed up out of nowhere and we got to keep contact with them as they're trying to make contact, but they're not hearing anything back for two minutes. Yeah well for four to two minutes, they're on the conversation and then it just ceases. 34:34 And this was at, I do have a timestamp of when the conversation ended at 1129 AM. So they were on call with them for since like, what would that be like? 1040 something. Sure. 1030 something. uh And now all of a sudden they just stopped in 47. Yeah. They just stopped getting contact with the aliens. And so they're still trying to make contact, but they're not getting anything. And then all of a sudden out of nowhere, they're here. 35:02 different voice come from that same frequency. Oh, and it's and then now it's Raphael is him saying help. I'm Raphael, but check out Perez student 82 from wherever he was from. Sure. And so then they say, hey, is there anyone else on the plane with you? Because they immediately are that's a different voice. You got you got you. Yeah. And he was like, no, I'm alone and I don't know how I got here. And so then they guide him to where the he landed the plane successfully. He did the whole thing. He lands. Yeah. 35:32 and uh obviously while this whole thing was underway, tower contacted the authorities. They were standing by at the that's why they arrested immediately. They arrested him because they're like, yeah, this is a crazy person and this is the seventies. This is when everyone was crashing planes into stuff and just crashing planes into the ground and so they arrest him. They question him. He has nothing to say and reporters then ask. Well, they actually they ship him back on a bus and they send a different flight. 36:00 pilot to fly the plane back to the fight school because it's obviously not his plane right. So some other pilot flies the plane back. He gets sent back on a bus, speaking of buses on the way here. I tried to say this in the last episode. You cut me off. You wouldn't let me say it, so somebody waited a week for me to finish this thought, uh but speaking of weird, someone else had to play back and so did that person also get abducted by aliens. Speaking of weird, so no, Tim, 36:29 No, no, them wait another week. I won't remember. I won't remember. I I won't care then either. I don't know if you're going to care now honestly. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, 36:58 I want the back way here today because Jared and I were not sure which way was faster. Oh, that's not true. That's not true. Jaron was sure which way was faster. Tim was just over confident that the other way would be even close to the same for some reason. It's clearly double the length of time. I pulled into the parking lot and I was so confident. I beat him and then I saw his car and I was so mad, but he was on the back way. 37:28 a like you drive through these neighborhood roads on the back way yeah, which honestly surprisingly nice homes down that road, a really nice neighborhood back to his riding their bikes had to run them over. They were in the road. were in the way and jared said we have bring any laws. We did say anything about the he did water. When we were leaving, I was like I because he's like okay, we're leaving Panda Express. We're going come to where we record 37:51 and then and I said to him I said okay, but it can't be a situation where we're like speeding like I'm not going to hit the main road and go sixty in the forty like I'm going to do and I actually hit all four track. I hit every single this could not have taken me longer on this route and I still won by almost double the time. Yeah, I pulled up and he wasn't even in his car anymore. You know what happened though? I actually started a timer and I forgot to stop it. 38:20 So it's taken you a really long time actually now that I think about it. Wow. 38:27 two hours. Jared's been driving for two hours. No, the only reason I brought this up. I didn't even mean to tell that whole story. The reason I brought this up is on that road is a normal neighborhood road, normal houses with normal size driveways and one of the people in their driveway pulled literally all the way up to their house is like a nineteen eighty five like city bus that clearly hasn't moved in years and it takes up the entire driveway. 38:56 and I just don't know like I don't know if this like the idea is like oh, I'm going to turn this into an RV or if they bought it a long time ago and they have it a city bus like a city bus and they just have this bus and I honestly it just it took me back to high school because in high school I wanted so bad to be a bus driver. Oh, I want it so bad for my first car to be a school bus. You said so bad or and that's dumb 39:26 and I didn't know about CDL at the time and so I got very how would it be to drive to school in a school bus and I priced them out and I found one that was like this price them out. I found a you did not know about CDL enough that you were shopping for used school buses. I've had a used school bus that would have cost the same amount as the car that I was looking at before and so was like. Oh, this is totally achievable did not realize that 39:53 fuel was going to cost way more and maintenance was going to cost way more. And then also I needed a special license to drive it. But yeah, I wanted that so bad. And honestly, I don't know if I'm allowed to say this out loud, but maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I shouldn't. 40:13 that's personal growth. You saw mom. What you just witnessed was a white man in front of a podcast microphone go well. That makes it sound like I was going to say something worse, but we'll never know, but we'll never know. No, now I have to say it now. Now that you made it so bad, you don't have to say what I was gonna say. That's what's beautiful about it. We live in a free country. 40:41 So when I worked at the church, there was when I worked at the church, we did this like back to school event where we donated backpacks and we were a mega church. So we got a school bus that you would drop the backpacks off in. We could have just like, you know, got a bunch more backpacks, but it's cooler to have the school bus out and drop all the backpacks at the school bus when you donated them. And so I everyone knew I wanted a school, but I got to drive the bus. 41:09 Yeah, I and I would drive the bus around the building and I was illegal because I don't have a CDL, but I don't know if I can put into words how much I loved driving that school bus. Do you guys see that? Tim closed his eyes and was like 41:25 opening up the steering wheel is big. Did it have one of those little you know and I actually look down on drivers who have the little knob yeah. You know on we we had different ones every year. uh One year we did have the knob. I like a guy who just goes yeah yeah yeah they're big and then yeah you got the door that the door opener thing. Sometimes they're up here is great. 41:51 I loved it side. It's weird how much I'd love to try a school bus, so so Rafael's on a bus. Yeah, so Rafael takes a bus back to Mexico City and all these reporters are interviewing. Was any of that worth it? These reporters are interviewing. Sometimes you watch this podcast, you listen to it, you're on your drive right now and like was any of this worth your time? No, 42:18 not at all. So the Rafael gets back to Mexico City and all these kind of buses were you looking at blue bird school buses. I didn't I don't remember. I was bringing the brain sixteen, so Rafael gets back to Mexico City and everybody's interviewing him. Tell me what that says. You've done to a lingo 42:42 Yeah. 42:47 All these newspapers are interviewing ah Raphael. I was alone in the plane and they came to me. They embodied me through my ears. said, hello. Through my mouth, they said, they are listening. 43:06 through my eyes. If you're an audio listener, this is like there's like nine. This is not even and I only know here's the problem about doing duolingo. I know like every other word in this thing, but it's not enough to put it together. You know, you're like oh well, just tell me the words you know. Just read the words. You know, no, I'm joking. I'm joking. uh Well anyway, 43:38 I see duolingoes hiring a new social media manager. You see the salary for it. No, it's the salary. I think the salary range is one seventy to two ninety for the mix. Social media manager. Yeah, impressive. You think you could do it as well as duolingoes social media? I think it's low honestly for them for what they for the for what they've Yeah, sure. The value it's added to the company. I think it's low anyways. Yeah, so he gets all these inner newspaper interviews and every newspaper interview is the same. It's like they ask him what happened and he's like I don't know 44:08 He's like, I really do think that he had like a medical emergency and like passed out or something and was just talking in his half sleep for a bit. And I do they inspect the plane. Nothing was wrong with the plane, I guess. I haven't seen any reports about anything, any inspections done. So I don't know. I would assume that they would. We didn't, I don't know. This is an interesting story because it was highly publicized and it was kind of like shut down. 44:37 sure it didn't happen and then it got re released in like their equivalent of a FOIA report. Well, the whole thing is like you don't want for forty two minutes. Like let's say let's say there, you know, obviously there's no aliens right, but let's say I don't know if obviously is the word obviously there's no aliens. So here we go. Potentially for sure there's no aliens and so we see here we go. Okay, well this crazy guy just had a plane for an hour like what's worse. There's no there's releasing that information at the top. There's no benefit 45:07 You know yeah, I mean kinda yeah, but yeah, it would almost be better to be like he had a medical emergency. We followed the flight. We got him down safe. This is a miracle of flight aviation safety. You know yeah, I suppose yeah, maybe and I do think there is merit to what you're saying because this is nineteen seventy six. This is the height of the cold war. Everyone's talking about how we're going to nuke each other and I mean Roswell has already happened and so like the alien 45:36 storylines out there right, so it very well could be like in the back of his psyche sure that these things are possible, um but and I mean honestly he's probably a lonely guy, so he's saying you are you saying there might be a world where he just he just broke and maybe in the other side too is maybe he just broke under the pressure of his first solo flight. Yeah, maybe maybe what I just had a psychotic break. Well, what I was saying was if if what you're saying is 46:06 correct that there was some sort of carbon monoxide issue going on and he did like pass out or fall asleep or something. I do think that there's enough going on in the world at the time where this could be explainable. It's like his subconscious was sure saying these type of things. It's not so obscure. also what I'm saying is like he didn't pass out, but if he's if he's loopy enough that it's like he's high altered state, you know, yeah, and he's like, well, that's what they're telling me. They say this and 46:35 you know, and maybe it's one of those things where it starts as like a miss, like a sentence messes up where he's like, well, that's what I, that's what they said and they're they yeah, they yeah, you know, and he's in too deep. He's got to double down. No, but I'm saying like way out of it. You know, this person's on drugs, essentially. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's something there that then your brains filling gaps being like, yeah, they yeah, they interest, you know, 47:04 that's that makes the most sense to me. Honestly, yeah, I think that's a really interesting theory. I think I haven't seen anyone say anything anywhere near just got to put me in the red. It's I'll handle all this. I'll handle all of them. I think that's a theory, but I also think it's more likely that it's aliens, of course, and I do think that it's more likely that we're all the same and we're the only ones who kill each other. Do you think the aliens look like us? Yeah, we're the hots 47:33 Not you. You felt that though right. You saw us high five and then for a moment we were the hots and then he went ha ha and you saw it away. I wish we had the budget for uh for just decay of your body in your face and ha ha Robert could do that. You know, spend a couple hundred bucks on it. Who cares Robert? 48:07 we're going to get the invoice for that and you're going to gosh does worse as said it. That's the whole story that like there was no cons did he ever become pilot. Oh he kicked out of school. He could have become pilot anymore, and so he said this event ruined his career because he was trying to be like an actual course like it wasn't. This wasn't this wasn't like you or it was just a hobby. I this was a career path for him. What are you going to do? We know 48:30 I don't know what he went on to actually do, but it wasn't fly sure, so he never got to do that again. That was those last flight first solo last flight all together, so he was deemed probably medically unfit to fly. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, so I'm pretty confident aliens. um He could have fought it it was if they did that whole carbon ox. I think what's also interesting is like when your brain is like at that like 48:57 whoo, you know, kind of thing. You're over the mountains and you hit that eight thousand, you know, ah and then ah the devil shows up and he says they've been looking for you and he goes, well, we've been looking for they and then pulls out of fiddle and goes and because like he didn't have the skill. He wasn't able to do it when he was like normal, but like we was looking for they 49:26 When's last time you got in a fight? Hey, when's the last time you got in a fight and or shared an episode of this podcast? Thanks for listening to till to Dylan. If you like this episode, you want more of it. We did a whole episode on the barefoot bandit who stole a plane, right? Didn't the barefoot bandit plan? Yeah, plain. And you can watch next week's episode for on Patreon right now. So thanks for being here and we hope you enjoy the show. Now we're going to do the after the fiddle, which is what Patreon supporters get whenever they're done, not done, but you know,


In 1976, a student pilot named Rafael Perez took off on what was supposed to be a simple solo flight from Mexico City. The plan was to circle a nearby lake, make a brief landing in an open field, and return to the airport. It was meant to last about an hour. But something went very wrong. Moments after takeoff, … Read More

The Truth About Dare and Drugs | DARE EP 293

09-30-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Happy to be here by the way. I don't believe you. Okay, 00:09 must have an inje creamy. The rest of the second make is forty grams of protein for only three hundred and eighty calories, but you know what has a really bad protein to calorie ratio crack cocaine. 00:30 Things I learned last night. 00:39 Hey, have you ever heard of actually? You know what I was gonna say? What I was gonna ask you if you ever heard of this, but I'm just gonna show you a picture and you tell me if you have ever heard of this sure and you have to describe it also to the listen. All right, okay. Have you ever heard of this? Okay, so for the audio listener, m it's a what is a ninety six convertible sports car and it's a you know painted like a police car. 01:07 can't tell which town of police it is, but it says to resist drugs and violence and then the word Dore the D A R E do do. How do you say it, Tim Dare Dare? Yeah, we're talking about the dare program. Yeah, we're talking about dare. Okay, so did day are we going to find out in this episode? Did dare 01:37 make things worse. Yeah, we're going to find out at this episode. Okay, okay, okay, okay, but also was there an excuse for police departments to buy cool cars and wrap them in this so they could have a giant person, not a giant person, a normal person dresses a giant lion sitting in the back. Was that the whole premise that was the bag? you go. Yeah, the mascot is a is a lion, four fingers because they I did it and then 02:05 What do you say? What's the back seat? Was he those are sideways seats? Oh okay, those are sideways. each other. Sorry for me being stupid. Those are obviously sideways seats. Why would I not know that? Is this a Mercedes? I can't tell what a Pontiac Trans Am. That's what I'm wondering. Is this like like like this is the kind of car that you make a convertible and everyone season to like you made that a convertible. No, I'm pretty sure that comes as a convertible. Yeah, that's what I'm saying and I think I feel you see it and you're like why is that car a convertible? 02:36 Oh, Pontiac made it a convertible. that's what I'm saying. It's got it. It comes that way. But everyone's like, should that be a this is the day or vehicle? Yeah, this is a dare. A dare police car. Cool rims. I will say that for sure. Sure. Right off the front. I spent a lot of time on the rims. That's for sure. We don't have a lot of other content to get to, I guess. He was mad at me 40 minutes later. Clock it right now. 02:58 clock it 40 minutes, 40 minutes from now, Tim's gonna go a lot to cover. He's gonna be like, hey, man, we got a lot to get to and then remember that at minute. I don't know one, two and a half two minutes and thirty seconds. He was like, oh, it's got some pretty cool rims and pretty crazy. Pontiac made this a convertible. Just remember that because I think about it every day. He told me I was even like, I I got to sneak some bits into this. I'm gonna try to some funny stuff. 03:27 and he said save it for the second episode we record today because this one's got a lot of content. That's the dad. I did not say I did not say save all your bits. You could do some. Oh, you know what he said? He said the next one doesn't have a lot of content. So just so you know, next week's episode probably sucks. Check it out on page right now. 03:46 all right. I didn't say don't do any bits though. I want you to do some bits in this episode. I want all your bits of this episode, but I want some of your bid safe for the next episode. Nothing's funny about drugs. 04:00 cigarettes are cool though. We love those if you're if you're gonna, you want to do your a bit. I want you to do a story. Okay, Jaron Jaron's energy today is weird. Jared's been doing tell him about your little thank you bit that you started before this my thank you bit manners. Whenever I hand you something, I do expect you to go. Thanks 04:27 is that we turn on face is exactly what I face a human reaction. Oh yeah, such a good bit dude. It's so funny that you expect me to thank you for stuff dude. Yeah, your Jaren's been doing this funny bit where he sees me in public and he waves oh a moron. Put your arm down, put that arm down you psycho. All right, so now it's minute four 04:52 fifteen and like in in thirty eight minutes, Tim's going to be like wow man, we lost a lot of time. We got to freaking go. Just remember that Tim was like waving's bad. I didn't say that you just put your hand down unless it's lifting a cigarette to my house. That's what Tim said. Put that on a put that on a dare program sign. Huh? 05:14 Okay, so tell me about the their program. Yeah, we grew up in the nineties. Did they have it at your Lutheran school? They did not have it. I was gonna say it, but when I was in grade school we had it. If you don't know the dare program is the program is it is when the is when a police officer from your brand. I feel like teenagers right now it's a brand. They wear their shirts like oh do they really like it's a brand so 05:37 then they don't know the trauma we went through when you're sitting in third grade and a police officer from your town in full uniform comes in and tells you that any day you're going to get kidnapped on the way home as I remember that talk where he was like don't talk to anybody but your teacher look at her face memorize it because someone's going to try to dress like her and convince you that it's her, it's not mrs. Campbell. All right, that is a predator trying to take you home in Mount Vernon, Missouri, because they really thought that someone who 06:06 was a man could wear a wig and be like hey, I'm your teacher, Miss Campbell, and then we'd be like and then kids are dumb enough to be like yeah, you are. You do look like the person I just get in your ban nine hours a day with 06:21 I didn't know you drove a rusty and speaking of rusty weird vans on the way here. I took that. So what also would happen is they would bring drugs to the school and they would go. Here's what meth looks like. They actually did that and you would go oh and they said don't ever look at one again. Yeah, don't make eye contact with this man. If you look at it, you get addicted and then they would go to the kid 06:48 probably most likely to get addicted and they were just dangling in front of his face. You want this mess, don't you? And he's in second grade and he's like, I guess and they're like, that's the wrong answer. They beat the heck out of that kid in front of everybody in the class. He just a lesson. Yeah, they're like, see, look what he looks and the whole time he did it. He's like, hurts me more than it hurts him. 07:10 and there was crazy and then all the way out he planted that kids with drugs and arrested him. It was crazy. I remember do there's so many things about the day or program that are so like there's this like little you know how your memory just has little moments. Yeah, I remember one time in this had to be middle school, so six or seventh grade. There was a trouble kid in our in our grade um 07:36 which is probably different than the Lutheran school trouble kid. Your Lutheran school trouble kid just said cuss words every once while true. Ours was like a hardened criminal dude. He had like he had like the mohawk and eyeliner in sixth grade. You're like yeah, you know and what the dare officer put handcuffs on him. Oh, and then this kid has been arrested. I think before at this point and did the thing where he pulled it underneath his butt and then pulled the handcuffs underneath his legs and then had the handcuffs in front of him. Yeah, 08:05 and then was trying to get out of the handcuffs the whole time and like got pretty close and I don't think it made that day officer very happy that a sixth grader was usurping his authority in this class interesting, but I always remember the officer handcuffing that six that sixth grader interesting and it wasn't like he was doing it to be like ah you know shut up. Don't talk while I'm talking. He was just he picked a random kid to splay the handcuffs on 08:36 and it just happened to be the kid who yeah, I was like, it's like it's probably this kid. This kid's probably he profiled that kid. He actually probably has arrested that kid. He's like, I think that let me it again. Yeah, you know, interesting. Okay, the whole thing was a ploy to get that kid. They started the dare program as a sting operation to get. I think his name is Harley. Interesting. Well, anyways, 09:00 On June 5th, 1968, Robert F. Kennedy was shot at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles, California, and this is how the story needs to begin. 09:14 I don't know if there's anything funny about an assassination. Why are you laughing? I don't anyways, so right now, right now, so why don't you dare to take it seriously? Okay, I'll take that there. So on June 5th, wait, Robert F Kennedy was shot at the Ambassador Hotel right in Los Angeles, California by John Wilkes booth. Nailed it. No, by a guy named Sir Hans or hon 09:44 I'm crazy. I actually don't think hear that. Here's the deal. There's a big conspiracy about it. Maybe there was a second shooter. We don't know. I know who did it. 09:57 What we do know for sure is there were two thousand three hundred photos taken at the event. There were wait. Are we not talking about the dear program? We are. Why are you setting up an R K? we do now is that two thousand six hundred and eighty three photos now from this angle? There are a hundred and seventy one 10:22 Why do we not have any from this angle? There was a photographer we can see in this shot. We can see the photographer standing over here. Here's the thing. There's no way someone could have made a shot from over here. There has to be a second shooter. What are you talking about? What I'm saying is there are over two thousand photos taken at the event. The LAPD at the event seized the cameras of every photographer that was there. 10:50 Okay, they took all the film because they're like, this is evidence sure of this assassination at the time attempt, but he later passed away. So the actual assassination after reviewing all of these photographs at some point in the investigation, LAPD decides the best thing to do is to burn all the photographs from the event, uh which is sketchy. And so 11:20 In the wake of this, the Los Angeles chief of police loses his job and a new chief of police is named a guy by the name of Daryl Gates. And Daryl Gates is, mean, on one hand, product of his environment. Obviously there's some corruption. Obviously. If they burned all those photographs, there was clearly what we know for sure is there was clearly a narrative that LAPD was trying to spin of the event. 11:50 We don't really know why, but we do know that they got in trouble for it and the chief of police was removed because of it. Okay. And so Darrell Gates was named the new chief of police and he did some uh significant things uh in his tenure as chief of police. He, he became, or he invented the SWAT team, a strong start to his, his career. He was the chief of police. 12:20 uh during the uh LA riots after the murder of Rodney King. Yeah, the did they kill him or did they just arrest him? Yeah. And maybe I don't remember that story really well. They killed a running king story. Did they kill him? But well, the fact that you called me LA riots instead of the Rodney King riots is interesting. uh But so he's he's not doing good things then. No, yes, no, yes, absolutely not corrupt. 12:47 in the middle of his career, right smack in the middle of his career in the late seventies early eighties. He ran a group called the P did, which is the public, what's his role? He is the chief police chief of police yeah, the LAPD. He puts together the P did the public disorder intelligence division, public disorder, intelligence, okay, and the idea was pretty simple. He said you look drug abuse is an issue in our schools. It would be sweet if I had 13:17 a spy network in the schools and so he I'm telling you, I knew the second officer Lacey came into our classroom. I said this guy's a narc. I tried to tell you their kids. I was in kindergarten and I was like he's a narc. Don't trust him. He literally did 21 jump street. He had undercover cops that went and were high schoolers and went to high school and were looking for the drug dealers in the high school was the concept. Literally 13:47 were there drug dealers in the high schools? I mean, I don't know. I haven't seen like reports that said that most likely probably some and we're talking about drug dealers. Are we talking like it's marijuana? It was that sort of saying like let's be real like it's not like yeah. This thing happens yeah, the a cl you finds out and they're like hey, I don't think you're allowed to do that and so this ends up becoming this massive court case and the 14:15 US government, the federal government shuts down the PD ID. They're like, yeah, you can't just spy on kids in schools and you can't send undercover officers in there without a reason in advance. Like you have to have evidence that there's yeah, there's got to be to send an undercover officer into the sure. And he was so mad about this. He was like, I had one of the best spy networks in the public school system. Anyone's ever had in the school system and the federal government shut it down. And he was very, very frustrated about 14:43 okay, so he spent some time trying to figure out how can he replace his spy now and he found out about the L. school board had like a program called the smart program. They've been running for how long he's been chief of police at this point. I mean at this point this is I believe it was the early nineties when they shut down his PDI, so he's been the chief of police for the chief police for a while. He ran the PDI for a long time, so I see how it's relevant that we started at RF case 15:13 No, that's how he became chief of police. Okay, that's how he got here. Okay, and it's important because it paints the background that he was already a high ranking official in the polo. Okay, okay, okay, so he was burning the photos, a part of burning all these fun yeah yeah he's doing some sketchy stuff as one trying to illustrate and then he started the SWAT team sketchy started uh the PID sketchy. The PID gets shut down and he says what we do. 15:40 and so he finds out about the smart program, which is an L. school district program to combat drug abuse in their schools yeah, and they have been running for years and this was run by the actual school board and they had brought in and partnered with local universities to pilot programs that could actually make a difference sure and they had attempted uh many years earlier a program where they would go into the schools 16:09 and they would equip teachers to educate the kids about drug abuse yeah and the dangers of it. Why you shouldn't do it and what they found is that this program was not effective at all. It actually led to an increase in drug abuse in their schools and they think the reason for that is because it made it seem kind of cool. Look at this picture of these teens on drugs just like a house party and they're like 16:36 and it's like look at these these idiots throwing away their future and kids are like those kids are pretty hot. So by the early nineties they had come up with a peer to peer program that they were running that they were seeing much more success with and it was actually having really good results like there was they were saying drug abuse in the schools drop while they when they were using this peer to peer program and the concept was essentially you would pick a handful of kids. 17:04 to be your ambassadors of drugs or mad. 17:11 I remember this happening at my school to you can tell me if I made this up in my head. I don't think I did did your school do a fake drunk driving accident. What do you mean? What do mean? Can you describe this to because I don't your school do a fake drug? Okay, so I'm not crazy this welcome to public school. Here's why we there was a day and I don't know if this is what you're describing. There was a day where they pulled a drunk crash car into our parking lot and we're like this could be you and it was 17:40 it was broken. They, I think that might have been how this idea started and they were like the kids aren't getting it. We need to act it out okay, and so they had someone sit in the car and be dead and then they had other teens freak out and be like oh my gosh and like do this whole crisis play and the fire department would roll up and they would try to save that person and like you would see people on the phone sobbing to their mom. 18:10 being like oh my gosh, you know, Jennifer just died crying on their phone and we're all just standing out front of the school and they so they got just they got Jennifer. She was a theater student. They were like yeah, they're all ready for the role of your. I think it's real. None of us are out there being like are we watching Jennifer die right now? I thought no. I they were like we're going to crash on the way into class today. No, no one's going to know that might be where it is now. That's what I'm saying is that when we got in it just it just 18:38 seemed like uh anyway. We were all out front of the school and we just had to stand there and watch their little play, so it was. It was more like a there was the ding. Well, the student body please report to the parking lot. Well, it was like and then jennifer was like well, our bell was like and then they should go there. All students please report to the front of the school and we would go out there. 19:01 Oh, this is please dead in the car. Everyone's got like, what's Jennifer doing in the car? Jennifer, the principal come out and go, okay, guys, we have a presentation of the local police department before we do, please turn around to the flag and we're all going to say the word allegiance together. So the whole school is out there going and then like some kids like first in the world, like I with all this makeup and she's got a hand. 19:25 I pledge allegiance. And then we're standing there cars behind us at this point. We're like, I pledge allegiance to the Republic for which it stands. Indivisible with liberty. 19:42 and then the guy who was supposed to start the car on fire actually did it a little too early. The pledge just got to the they forgot there's a case of fireworks in the trunk. It really went off the rails pretty quick. No, I mean like but your school did like there was a presentation. Yeah, it was a whole thing. It was a whole. I forget they call it something. They call it the first dead in the parking lot presentation. The Jennifer's dead in the put hey guys, it's time for well this week we've got 20:11 just this is the staff. This is explaining to the teachers what the week is going to be like all right, it's like all right, my everybody gets home coming. We guys Monday's just making sure you guys know that we're going to do an all staff lunch. We're catering really grateful for you. It is homecomings on Friday that you know Tuesday is still a day. Other chaperones for that yeah. If you could volunteer, we also do a dog tears next month is we're doing a bake sale on the step 20:39 ah Thursday is the Jennifer's dead in the parking lot day. Does anybody have any questions on how that's going to run? 20:50 No, it is the same as last year. Different Jennifer. Good question. Good question. Yeah, actually, this is this is unfortunate. Last year's Jennifer em 21:01 the the drug driving accident, so it's turns out well. She needed to be the one what this is bad. I'm not proud of her family donated her car. I wasn't trying to go. She got a drunk driving as I was just going. She passed away and you were like yeah and actually she didn't learn a lesson. I wasn't going that round, but you can leave it in. We can leave in because we have remorse. uh 21:31 as long as we feel bad, feel bad about the joke. can stay, but was I don't was that part of the dare program Alex or was that just I feel like that had to have been related, but I yeah, I don't remember that being like directly within the sure assemblies. I feel like it was its own thing for some reason. I feel like it was just, I don't know me so weird. So that's what we did in our town and it definitely had the 21:59 the car that was mangled would get brought and I think and it be in the parking lot for like a week. You know what helped us growing up in a small town with drunk drivers was the tractors can only go fifteen miles. So it didn't really matter. You couldn't ruin your life on fifteen miles an hour. It's true that I don't my shirt. 22:17 Hey, thanks for watching our show. you like it, a great way to help out is by being a Patreon supporter. Doing that helps make this show possible, but it also gets a lot of perks for you. You can get every episode a week early ad free. You get access to a Discord where you can meet a lot of other people who love the show and actually hang out with Jaren and I every month on a hangout. And we're also in that Discord chat all the time, hanging, talking with people, talking about episodes and just random stuff in life. It's super fun. 22:40 We do, there's a way to get birthday messages, a free gift, merch discounts in there. So there's a lot of really great reasons to be a Patreon supporter. You get a lot of benefits out of it. And it also makes the show keep happening. So if that sounds great to you, you can go to support.tilling.com or tilling.com slash support, uh or just tilling.com and search around until you find the links and become a Patreon supporter. really appreciate you doing that. But if not, right back to the episode, right? 23:08 so yeah, Jennifer's dead interesting and the police didn't do anything about it. 23:16 they actually there's like twenty of them there and no one else are out of the car, but they really work crisis actors essentially like that's what it was yeah yeah and I'm very weird. You learned it's like that that viral video right now of the school shooting. Have you seen that Alex God where the police are teaching about a school shooting like it could happen at any moment and a cop comes around the corner and just fires the teachers like one guy tackles him like so 23:45 Alarming. 23:49 I think like the response from all those teachers. It's one of those things. You can't tell if it's a sketch or not because they respond because they responded quick, the correct. they either knew it was going to happen or it's a sketch right or they the teacher did a really good job teaching them what to do yeah ten minutes before this was the end of their day yeah, and they knew how to respond. That's crazy interesting. So the smart program okay switch to the peer to peer program, which the peer to peer program is just high schoolers teach it because I think that also happened in our school. 24:19 was the high schoolers came down and taught us middle schoolers like, hey, it's not cool to party. Yeah. Did your town and I know we're doing tangents. I just want to know if our town was crazy. Did this happen to your school too? No. Okay. We had high schoolers in our town who would go to gas stations and try to buy cigarettes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then if, and my cousin actually got, Caitlin got a ticket for this. um 24:45 was because she sold cigarettes and was just in a rush. It was a busy morning. I think they do that everywhere. Kid looked old enough and sold them cigarettes, but he was 19 and not 21. So she got it. And then literally the police come in right there, like they freaking Chris Hansen them. They come in and they go, why did you sell cigarettes to that kid? it's like, why didn't you? Cigarettes are cool. Oh, because he's got a beard and a mullet and he sounds like this. So mean, I'm not the first to do it. Because you gave him a state issued fake ID. 25:13 How am I supposed to be able to tell that that was fake? Also dude, it's cool. Also cigarettes are cool. Shut up. You're freaking narc, but like that's an R at our high school. They had a high schoolers who volunteered for it and I never did because I didn't want to get beat up. Yeah, I mean it essentially it was a volunteer program and those kids would go through like the education and then they would be a representative. 25:41 what they told everybody. They're so annoying to they're like I'm an undercover person. Well, you blew it. It wasn't undercover that it was. It literally it was. It was evangelism like they it was like we're going to teach a couple of these kids. They're going to teach all their friends and they're going to teach their friends and then the whole school is good. That's what the peer to peer kind of was the idea and it actually worked because it's like influencers like you the kids who have the most influence in the school and you get them to teach the rest of the school that hey, we don't think this is cool here and then everyone's like hey guys it in 26:10 today we're talking about my must haves and my must nots must have must have is this labooboo or what was it called the boo boo boo must have because everyone's got it. I don't actually like it that much, but everyone else has one, so I had to buy one had to get must not this bag of method. 26:31 must have an inja creamy. The rest of these I could make is forty grams of protein for only three hundred and eighty calories, but you know what has a really bad protein to calorie ratio crack cocaine. 26:51 here's my Amazon finds five must haves and also don't do don't do don't do dope would have been a way better. know what is dope not dope. 27:11 it's a it's a little cup with a handle on it. I can put my mind to ice cream in so that my hand doesn't get cold. Is it useless? Of course, of course, but do I get a high commission on the tick tock shop? You know it, you know it, you what I don't get a high commission on hair, what fit and all 27:29 Don't do drugs. 27:34 Follow for more. 27:38 and then you got the other guy who was like follow for my meth recipes. You know what and what sucks is that he doesn't even include it in the in the post he has it. He hasn't a link in his bio. You gotta go link to the bio mail capture yeah, and then I to him an email. Yeah, yeah, it's a nightmare, so that format having the influencers, the peer to peer program worked the best and they actually saw a decrease in drug abuse in their schools from doing this peer to peer program, and so the smart group 28:08 The smart program was like, hey, we're going to do more of this. We're going to roll it out to more sure. Meanwhile, Darrell Gates is like, I lost all my spies and he's like, I hear about the smart program. I'm going to go talk to them. And so one day after a smart program board meeting, he shows up and he's outside and he runs into some of them in the hall and he's like, hey, you guys still doing that smart program thing? And they were like, yeah, and it's a little different now. We're not doing the thing, the education program. He's like, oh, oh, well, you should do the education program thing again. 28:38 and what if like police officers did it and they're like I don't think that would work very well actually and he was like I think it worked really really good if it was cops doing it. I think it's great because like just imagine you're in third period right it's math and then one of my one of my new teams we actually just named them SWAT. I do what I stand for my geography class got swatted today. That's a new thing people should do so the 29:08 people in the summer. It's like yeah. I think we can pull it off. I think we can just you know send in the SWAT team to the class. This one just regular cops, just regular beat cops will scare these kids scared straight. Yeah, it's the concept and so the but the smart board is like we hate the idea it did not work with teachers and they show him the data and he's like he's like I think it was a gap in it work with cops. Yeah, it would work better with cops. Now know we kids hate teachers, but if there's anything the teens love, it's cop, the police kids really like the police. 29:38 And so smart board pretty much just shuts them down and they're like, we're not going to do it. We're not going to bring you in and we're going to continue doing the program that is actually working. Okay. And so he leaves dejected and he says, I'll start my own program. Where's the next place I could go. So he sits in his car and he opens up Google maps and he says, uh, take me to a place that will let me bring cops to school. And the rotary club comes up and he's like, perfect. So he drives to the rotary club and 30:06 basically tells them his idea and they loved it and so the rotary club is like a lot of business owners and things uh that you don't live there. They are a part of the club yeah yeah. You're not part of it, so he tells them as I sorry he doesn't know our ways. 30:30 So he goes to road club and a bunch of do that bunch of business owners are like oh yeah, we love this idea and so they said yeah, we'll help fund this and so he gets a group of officers. What funding is okay? Yeah, I don't know what funding there is in the beginning. I mean they had to get the graphic design for that that lion true and the cool dare. He means it after himself dare, dare, old dare and that's not why he did it. Here's the thing. 30:58 in interviews with people who worked closely with him at LAPD. They said he's one of the biggest narcissists they've ever met in his life. I'm fairly confident there's no way that dare and Darrell are that close together and that wasn't part of his motivation for coming up with that name and he named it Darrell the lion. Is it isn't not? I don't know. Actually, what I don't remember what the lion's name, what's the hound? You know, talking about the investigative how does that part of dare? I don't think that's part of the dare. Is that just a cartoon? 31:27 Oh, it's Darren, Darren, yeah, which I just don't know that I think about it in eighth grade. I don't think I graduated the dare program. I think you had to write like a paper at the end and I literally was like what are you going to do a way me wait, hold on, hold on, hold yeah. The dog is part of it, isn't it? I don't think it's part of it. Hold, hold your horses though, hold on other horses. 31:56 a a uh 32:26 yeah, a cartoon character play it through. It's a cartoon character from what from the dare program. No, it's it's from an ad. It was the National Crime Prevention Council did this and there was an ad that take a bite up of crime. What year did that launch? Nineteen eighty, so it was around before okay yeah, so this is just like they're like hey, it's a cool thing. We got our lion that 32:55 it'd be like if they were like if they were like hey, you're lighten up and then we have smokey the bear here as well. Different cartoon yeah okay, okay, okay, okay, sure the gruff the time dog, the crime doc, he knows yeah yeah yeah. So yeah, they had to put together these. They obviously had to buy all the drugs to bring to the the schools, so I don't what the funding was. I'm going to be honest. I don't know what the only wasn't this earlier era. 33:24 But they put together a board of directors, a of business owners, and then a handful of cops, the chief of police, obviously, Darryl. And they found a school that was like, yeah, you can try it. And so they went into schools, and we've already described it. They would do assemblies, and they would tell kids how drugs kill you, and you shouldn't touch them. ah it was a scared straight program for drugs. uh I've got a couple pictures of these things happening in schools. Here's one that was highly televised. 33:51 with also the actor from this is us as the cop in this one. This is your joking, but go back why not see who else is in the photo that you just showed? Oh, are you dumb? Maybe that's why it's being filmed. That's probably why there's all that press there is because Nancy Reagan is also in this photo. Yeah, yeah, that's that's pretty fair. 34:18 and he's like it's the actor from this is us more on. It's the first lady. Yeah, the reggans loved this idea. Yeah, I bet here's another one a little bit further down the time. He's wearing a bulletproof vest. This is military police in a classroom full of children. You know I'm talking about. Yeah, you know I'm talking about they have the dare lion, the stuffed lion up on the on the that was in our classroom. Yeah, nothing tells kids not to do this more than 34:47 judged our police aren't people coming in their classroom, um so they did this. What happened in our town too is that uh they send the officer to our school right um and I my sophomore year high school is when we started having a dedicated police officer in the school all the time. Yeah, we didn't have that all through my childhood yeah, but what 35:15 that my small town didn't account for is that there are eight police officers. And so there's a thin thin to choose from. And all eight of these guys you have posted on a public YouTube channel of them getting tased. 35:37 and you guys didn't understand. We understood because we're young. We know how to use computers, how to download those videos, how to remix them, how to put songs behind them. Someone made someone made a of the dare officer. This then the whole thing in my school, it got passed around when I was a sophomore in high school was we didn't like the cop that was hanging out of the school every day and there was he got tased and when he got tased, he sounded like a moose that was dying. You know, talking about music. Yeah, yeah. 36:03 and so someone had taken it and then like a like it was. I need to try to find that video that's incredible. Like it was the way you got that same rhythm reckon remember dude. It was you didn't have to do that. don't I don't don't talk about and then they would just walk away. They would walk by him in the hallway playing a video of him getting taste. That's how 36:33 much they disrespected the police officer that was at our school. That's crazy, so interesting. So what is very interesting about this is they started doing it in the school yeah, and they did the education program. They came up with this curriculum where they went through every drug and you learned how bad it was and then you learned that you go to prison and you scare the kids, but they also 37:02 put together. They had like what was the word for it, a confidential box and so every dear program gave the classroom a confidential dare box and it was kind of like you could drop off your drugs. No, it was kind of like remember a Valentine's Day grow. Oh, drop the Valentine's Day. Everyone's box you could like report yeah, and so if you were like hey, I think someone's doing drugs. You could slide your report in that bucket 37:30 and the cop would come by occasionally and check what was in the bucket and so and it was a big event. They he'd walk in the room and everybody would be like buck it buck it and he'd open it up and then he'd look and he didn't read it and what are talking about in of the whole class? He'd be like Tommy is doing drugs and then he would arrest him in front of all the kids and then time like no no, I'm not. It really was like it was trying to teach kids like this is what a jury of your peers is right and so like then 37:59 You pull the kid up in front of the class and then we walk him through a whole thing and we take a vote at the end of like, you think that he's innocent or guilty? Yeah, I did get an F on our test once. So I wrote my teacher's name, put it in the box as Mrs. Neely is doing drugs. Please bring the cops to school. And she's actually served a $25 for right now. Yeah. Who's learned their lesson now? Yeah. Who do you think got an F? I think she gets out next year. 38:28 hopefully she's a man. I for wrongfully sorry I ruined your life because I was a 38:43 Yeah, I mean it really was. It was a suggestion box that they put in every classroom. The suggestion was, think somebody's using drugs. Well, no, I think there it was a tip line essentially. Yeah, and they even told us to like because it was more than drugs that they walked or like I said, they did the whole like kidnapping thing. Yeah, they taught us about, know, if what abuse looks like, if they, if you're experiencing this at home, you can put this in the car, you know, it was which 39:09 in this is another area, those things where if you think about it for a second, it's like oh, that's a good idea. She give it if you think about it for another second. Yeah, you realize that what's actually what happens is first. These are children. They don't really know what they're talking about, and so like you end up with tips that maybe aren't very right true or inaccurate right, but also sometimes you do get tips that are accurate and what was more common than anything out of these tipot these confidential boxes was kids reporting their parents for drug abuse. 39:38 and what inevitably happens is these kids report their parents, their parents get arrested. They go into foster care because now they don't have someone to care for them and eventually the kid learns that it was their fault. Like technically there's their parents, the fault, the parent did it, but they learned they're the person who made this happen. Well, but also like I remember one time getting really mad at my mom while she was driving because she took a sip of her diet coke and I said you can't drink and drive, you know, so it's like if I told on the 40:07 I was like my mom drinks and drives yeah yeah because you're a kid and you don't understand right yeah exactly, and so these are things where yeah it sounds like a good idea, but in practice what ended up happening is it caused a lot more trauma than was necessary and a lot of these situations. Well, yeah, a majority of them their parents smoked weed sometimes sure. Let's be honest. So it ended up being a traumatic thing for a lot of a lot of children kind of unnecessarily. 40:36 and it started to get a lot of blow back. A lot of parents started comparing it to the late Weimar Republic uh because of that the encouraging children. I to say the nine hundred four like yeah, that's oh wow, huh? Yeah, so it was a it was a weird program, uh but it it spread like wildfire and by nineteen ninety it was in like seventy five percent of school districts across America yeah and the could ways opt out of it. 41:05 Yeah, it was it. Here's what's really strange about dare and I still don't understand this. Dare was started as a nonprofit organization, okay, but eventually it went public on the stock exchange and I don't understand how that happened or what or why there was public on the stock exchange. Yes, how it wasn't making. I don't understand. um I do know that there are for profit businesses that sell these 41:35 experiences to schools where they come in and they sell like $20,000 a year. They come in and they'll do this thing for your school and it's like the big event and yeah, we'll kill a kid on the front yard. Yeah. And these are legitimate businesses that do this. Dare obviously had crushed the merchandise game and so they had a lot of great merch after every assembly. They set up a merch table and you could buy the t-shirts and stuff, but they didn't actually sell them. I think they just gave them away. 42:03 but you could buy them at like they sold them at my Walmart. So I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But they did go public stock. was very straight. So it has a non-profit, but their business model was very interesting because they had their board of directors at the top. Okay. And it was Daryl Gates and then a handful of LAPD police officers and then very influential businessmen billionaires were at the top of this list. A handful of people on the up scene list. 42:33 and they then would, I guess, sell franchises out to local municipalities and they'd be like, Hey, I, you're a cop. the police department would have to license the name. Well, it wasn't even the department. It was police officers, off duty police officers could get a side gig as a dare officer. And so they could then get the dare car and like all the dare merge. 43:03 and they buy all the boxes of the dare stuff and the stuffed animals and then they could go do it in their school and then they could recruit other police officers in their area and in the school district to grow. Okay. And then those police officers could recruit other police officers to do it. And that's why it spreads so fast because it was kind of an MLM and the way they got that model, one of the board members, the founder of Herbalife. 43:33 got it. Okay, like I know how to make he's a hey. I know how to make this work. You get one cop to get another cop to get their cop. I mean within seven cops, you got the whole police force and every cop that exists at all the cops seven seven rounds. It's six degrees of separate, but when you when that cop gets another cop to do it and that cop gets part of their commission is that it did it work the appearance scheme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The more people you recruited, the more kickbacks you got as the police officer. So you were incentivized to recruit more. was a police officer 44:02 pyramid scheme the whole time. 44:10 Hey, thanks for listening to Things I Learned Last Night. It would do us a huge favor if you could just share this episode with somebody or just share the show. Tell someone you like it. That helps us grow the show. Another way to help us grow the show is to support our merch, which is actually super comfy. We changed to a new merch supplier a couple years ago called Fourth Wall. You can buy our stuff at shop.tillen.com. None of this is a pressure, by the way, but it just really does help us grow the show and it helps, you know, get the word out and people ask me about my hoodie in the airport all the time. So they're really comfy. Would love for you to support the show. 44:40 And either way, thanks for being here. We're glad that we get to do this podcast. 44:48 that okay and and here's the crazy thing from the beginning. The smart day or worked the same way the drug empire works. I mean here's the thing you got to give it to these drug dealers. They know what they're doing. Hey, he gets his cut. They know business and so here's what's crazy. The smart program told dare Darrell Gates when he wanted to do this. They said hey, we know that doesn't work. We've done the research that doesn't work 45:15 we have another program rolling out that works. guys didn't try and he's like, you don't know what you're talking about. And then in 1990, 1992 Indiana University did a study and from that study they, uh, they basically concluded that the dare program subsequently had significantly higher rates of hallucinatic drug use than those not exposed to the program. 45:38 and then I want you to know that's a quote. It was a longer quote that I expected, so I got stuck because I was like I'm still this quote still going and then stupid and then in nine hundred and ninety four say it again without laughing. What's the quote the dare program subsequently had significantly higher rates of hallucinogenic drug use 46:08 than those not exposed the dare program. So kids who went through dare used more hallucinogenic drugs than kids who did not do dare. That's all I need. What Indiana University? I to make some clips out of this. I can't have Tim looking like 46:23 Why is that guy doing the thing that's fingers late? The people on Facebook reels are going to be real mad and then in nineteen ninety four. Oh sorry, if you're an audio listener and you couldn't hear, he was doing the finger quotes, but then he got stuck and he did it like a hundred times, so then it's still doing it. Look like you got a little clause, finger quotes. They he meant it is go more just a 46:52 He got stuck doing it a lot. 46:56 So then in 1994, the research triangle institute did a study and they found essentially the same thing. They said that they um that the program, the kids who were in the program did more drugs than the kids who were not in the program. It was interesting is the dare. They knew that back in ninety four in ninety four. I was still doing there in like two thousand three though. Yes, and so ninety four the dare program uh spent forty one thousand dollars trying to prevent that 47:25 study from RTI getting out. And so they were basically paying off other news organizations and being like, hey, don't run that story. They spent $41,000 getting them to not run that story. Then in 1995, the California Department of Education did a study and they found the same stat. And they said that what they found that while only 10 % of elementary students responded, while only 10 % now they found that while only 10 % of elementary students responded to drug education negatively or indefinitely, 47:55 the figure grew to 33 % of middle school students and topped 90 % at the high school level. Basically the majority of kids thought that the messaging did not change their opinion of drugs at all. And then in 1998, the National Institute of Justice said the same thing in 99 and researchers took a line amps found the same thing in 2001. The office of the surgeon general found the same thing in 2007. 48:20 The perspectives of psychological science found the same thing in 2009 the Texas A &M and then the US Department of Education did a study found the same thing and then the US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration found the same thing and DARE every time paid to silence these articles and in the mid in the early 2000s DARE started a program where the the cops would tell the kids about all these people who were DARE bashers 48:47 and I said these people are bashing there and they got the kids to write a letter to the dare bashers and they would say dear dare bashers and basically manipulate the kids to be like you want us to use drugs. That's what I was supposed to write an eighth grade. I didn't write that. Did you write that? I don't remember this part. That is what I was supposed to. It wasn't like dear bashers. It was. I was writing a letter to drugs. I think it was supposed to be dear drugs. 49:18 I think I was supposed to write a Dear John letter to cocaine. 49:24 dear drugs. I know how bad you want me, but you can't have me. I belong to God. This is two thousand eight yeah. 49:40 if I get sucked into drugs that will take too much attention away from my school, my sports and my pursuit of Osama, leave me alone sign. I didn't write it. I remember actually got in trouble. I they had a great they had a dear graduation ceremony that I wasn't. I wasn't allowed to be part of because they didn't. They literally sent me on a little raft and they were like go do drugs. They were like their own. can't 50:07 You didn't graduate there and then you were on the dare non graduate list for the rest of your life and then the cops they watched you more in public because you didn't graduate. That might be true. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was true because what became very clear so they would have the right letters to dare bashers sing like circuiting the part of the brain that is like the us versus them. 50:32 like the triggering that tribal mentality in your brain as young child yeah. That's crazy actually um and so they it's in the way that they campaign against it is crazy. I want to redo to I was actually in an official dare bashers group. Yeah, you know what I think we're dare bashers were there bashing and if you're a punk little fifth grader watching this 51:00 write me a letter, write me a letter, call me a dare and then and I'll I'll take you on further. Come say to my face, you'll twerp. How about that? Okay, so that's truly wild. That's crazy. So I want to I wanted to read these posts to you. There's a couple people within dare that responded all this negative criticism because it was constant. So in two thousand one one of it's crazy. I know this is nineteen ninety nine 51:29 and this was the spokesman for dare New York, a guy by the name of Ronald Brogan. He responded to the criticism and he said if you take German for 17 weeks, you're not going to speak German German dare officials know that the solution to the problem is not less dare, but more of it. And he said that he urges dare to beat longer and have more access to the they should do there every day. Yeah, and then we should also put bars on the doors of the classroom. 51:58 and and maybe we should be standing over them at lunch. Maybe we should just arrest them when they're born. Get ahead of it. That's kind of what I was building and maybe and maybe we should arrest the kids that we think are going to do it. How about that and then in ninety eight so a year before that another dare spokesperson said I don't. This is crazy. He said I don't have any statistics for you, but our strongest numbers are the numbers that don't show up 52:35 all right. Seems like you're coming at me with multiple studies done over several years from reputable institutions. Here's what I got to say. No 52:45 Oh, you've got studies over two decades now. No, what do think about that? What do think about that? That's what it's like. Argument people now, dude, it really I go like well, here's some facts and they just go no and you go. Oh, I didn't know that. I wish I knew that was an option this whole time, so that's crazy. It became pretty evident. 53:11 Sure, I don't have any stats. The strongest stats I've got. I mean, you can't measure in numbers. mean, every time I walk into a classroom and 28 kids run up to me smiling and then give me a big hug, that's what I know. The day your program is effective. Yeah, it became pretty obvious that they knew from the start that this didn't work to educate kids not to do drugs. Yes, and it was pretty clear that if they knew that either they 53:38 rejected all the evidence and continue to reject all the evidence or that wasn't their motivation. Right. And I think it's a little both. I think they rejected the evidence. I think they wanted to believe that what they were doing was having making a difference. And I think there was a lot of them that were just kind of like dumb and they thought, oh, it's because they're doing it wrong. And if the police do it, we do it more sure. And 54:04 actually like our number like we think like we do it and we have like circumstantial evidence that shows that it's working like I think they genuinely believed it was working even though all the studies proved them wrong. think it was I think it's the same kind of brain that just fights against academia and lives with like this like uh circumstantial evidence of like this one situation I saw at work and so it's got to work across the board um and I think that's what a lot it but I think more than that. 54:34 I think for Darryl Gates, especially this program was started and grown because of the shutdown of PDI because he said, I lost my internal spy program and I want to have a connection to the school. need cops in schools. Yeah. And so he built this program. And in fact, there's an offer by the name of Max Felker Cantor who wrote a book called dare to say no. And that's what he goes on and through the whole book where he outlines how this was Darryl's program to have 21 jump street. 55:03 perpetually because the federal government said no, you can't uh and okay, they the evidence of it shows that this was a way that they built cases against that. I'm saying was it so like was it effective in keeping kids off drugs? No. Was it effective on getting kids to rat out their parents and close more cases? Yep. Was it effective in getting more arrests of people doing minor drug dealing in the schools? Yep. Was it effective in getting police officers? 55:32 And that's like shining a specific kind of light on it for sure. We made fun of the police officer that was in our school, right? But at the same time, I do think it is helpful and good that we had a police officer and a connection to our police department at our school that we knew. What is very strange, and I think it's true of lot of organizations like this, when you look at the people at the bottom that are doing all of the work and all the effort, a lot of those people... 56:00 have the right motivations and they're doing things for the right reasons. I think most dare officers in schools were not in schools looking because they were like I want to arrest all these kids. They were trying to make a difference and trying to keep these kids off drugs. I don't think most of them understood that what they were doing was having the inverse effect of what they thought they were doing. I think they were being educated that what they were doing was actually making a right difference, but I also think there's a feeling of like okay. Well, at least we're doing something yeah, and I do think that especially 56:29 And even for, I feel like I got to be careful about how I say this. I think the mindset of these officers going in there is that, some of these kids are going to learn and we're going to help keep them away from drugs. The kids who are not going to learn, we're going to get them sooner. And I think that, I think that's a bad attitude to have, but I think that that is an attitude that they had. they, think those be these, this group of people thought it was a good thing. And so. 56:59 A very strange situation. uh It ended up not until the late 2000s admitting that, we learned that this program doesn't work. Yeah. And they put it on their website and they're like, yeah, we've learned that the way we were doing this doesn't work. And now they have a different peer to peer type program that they run. It's significantly smaller, ah but it still does run these programs in certain schools throughout the country. uh 57:28 Sick merch very popular right now pretty trendy actually it's gone through some iterations in the 90s is also very trendy and I think the reason why in both eras it was very trendy because in the 90s it was trendy because it was ironic people were like it's funny to wear their merch and then now it's again kind of funny to wear their merch. I think a lot of kids also think it's a brand but I feel weird about it. I feel like 57:58 It wasn't this huge like sketchy mastermind organization, but I feel like a lot of the motivations underneath it were wrong and bad. Sure, but I think that can happen to any nonprofit organization that starts or then even becomes a profit organization is that once the amount of money is involved and once it's at that scale, it's one of those things where it has to work. I mean, I think it was, I think it was before, I think it was sketchy before though. I think the foundation of this was not what it was broadcasted and I think that's sketchy. Yeah. 58:27 and and the list of people. There was some interesting people who were board members of this. uh You had a what was her name? Hold on. Let me see uh Diane Disney Miller, Walt's daughter. uh You had obviously all the different cops, Michael Jackson, Arsenio Hall. There's some interesting people that ended up being uh board members in this organization, a lot of millionaires, but a lot of billionaires. That's part of something of like 58:57 Okay, there's a big problem. We've got a lot of people who are like, and also like, you know, it was a little overblown in the media at the time of like how many people were on drugs, you know? And all, so many social problems are getting blamed on drugs at the point where that wasn't the reason, right? ah Why face poverty when you can just blame drugs for people being in poverty? ah That kind of thing. And this is, again, it's... 59:25 doing, it may not be doing the right thing, but it's doing something yeah, and that makes people feel good. So maybe that's maybe that's part of it. I don't know so yeah, it seems like you want to get the last word, so go ahead and finish it up. Yeah, go ahead. No, you can you get the no you've just done. You've done well. Here's the thing I want you to relisten because you've done the landing four times now. I want to hear it again. You go. Yeah, it seems like the people involved kind of sketchy and I go. Yeah, it could be this and you go. Yep, it seems like the founding of it was it was weird from the beginning. I go. Okay, yeah, 59:55 and you go, I don't know. It seems like it's like all right, buddy. So in seventh grade, me and my friend, we started a restaurant called the to Mike experience. What the to Mike experience? This is a call back and this is a call back. Is this the first time in this podcast that I did a call back that you didn't remember? What experience? Oh my God, do you remember this? You're messing with me right now. This is a bit you're bidding me on the bit that I bit 01:00:22 to myking to Mikey experience to I made the happy meal and I ate it until I was in college. You know this bit right now so bad. I forget this fiddle off. I'm done with it. 01:00:39 See you next week. 01:00:46 Hey, I remember a couple years ago when the movie cocaine bear came out and there was like a whole based on a true story thing. Well, we did a video about that so you can go watch that episode and you can watch next week's episode right now on Patreon. So thanks for being here for things. I learned last night. We do a new episode every Tuesday. Please share this. Please share this. Please share this and to all the till and bashers out there. Let me tell you something. You think you're going to get us away from this show, but there's nothing you can do. 01:01:13 to claw my grimy wet hands off of this pie. Leave a comment to the till and bashers below dear till and bashers.


The 1980s and 1990s were filled with slogans warning kids to “just say no.” At the center of this effort was the Dare program, a nationwide campaign that claimed to stop young people from falling into drug abuse. But as history shows, the story of Dare is more complicated than its bold promises. What Was the Dare Program? Dare, short … Read More

This Is the Worst Band Ever | The Shaggs Ep 292

09-23-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of the shags, the shags, the shags? Is this like what they called like the carpet, the shag carpet? I mean they did call the carpet that but it's not that take off. It was sweet. Okay, I remember in high school. uh What are my friends? Steven was his name. uh He for his sixteenth birthday, his parents got him one of those cube cars. 00:27 but it was like when they were brand new. Remember when the oh yeah, oh my gosh, these cars are square like the what are they the sions is that we're talking about yeah. It was actually cube was the name like it wasn't the new like what are they called that look like they're squares and then they get broken into a lot. The key is not the key is not the key of soul. I'm talking about the is it is the scion is that the brand it might be. It was called cube for sure. I know for a cube the Nissan cube. Oh yeah, Nissan 00:53 Yeah and they had like the I'm thinking of some that wrapped around the corner on the right. That's right. That's freaking sweet, because I almost bought is the side is sign a brand. Is that what I'm thinking of sign is a brand yeah yeah. I almost bought one of those in high school yeah. They're very spacious inside sign also had a cube car yeah yeah. It looks very similar yeah, but this one's older okay for sure. Anyways, the so they put shag carpet inside they had on the dash a little circle of shag carpet and the purpose for it was your for your phone. You just set your phone on there and because it's shag carpet it want to slide around 01:23 Oh, which was really clever and it looked honestly very cool. Just that little circle of shag carpet on there and I remember so clearly. I remember he came over to my house. I will never forget these are stories where me and Alex make eye contact and we're like what is wrong? I'll never forget this because a little circle of shag carpet. I I was saying I received my life. I remember this moment so clearly because he's born and he was born. He's going there. Do you see his eyes flutter? He's a born like April. I think it was like 01:50 Oh no, was March, was the end of the March. He was born at the end of March and his parents got uh in the car and he came over to my house. But it was a couple of days before that he was going to actually be able to go get his license. he's like, my parents got me a car for my birthday. And so we went over there like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. But he couldn't drive it. So I remember we sat in the car in the driveway for days waiting for him to get his license. And we just listened to music and we just hung out in the car because we couldn't drive it. And I remember 02:18 I remember they went to his grandma's house so his grandma could see the car and everything. uh And then he came back, because that was a few days later, like they went to grandma's house a few days later. uh He came back and he came over to my house and he was like, he was like, you're never going to believe what happened. ah And he was like, he's like, we went to grandma's house and obviously I don't have my license yet. So my dad drove and then we're on our way. And my dad takes a turn that wasn't towards grandma's house. And I was like, 02:46 that's isn't how you get a grandma's house and he's like, he's like, yeah, I just got to run an errand real quick. We're going to the shag carpet store and then we pulled into enterprise and we dropped off the rental because the car was a rental car and that day was April 1st and it was April fools joke all along. They rented a car on his birthday, said it was his birthday, 16th birthday gift and then on April fools, they returned it. 03:12 Isn't that brutal? 03:17 so and they ended up getting a car but it was nowhere near as cool. It was like a normal high schoolers. They ended up giving her a car. They did get him a car but it was like a normal high schooler car like like an old like Honda. 03:29 It was so brutal. We I'm not even exaggerating. Wow! I we easily clocked like probably thirty hours sitting in that in the driveway for like that week until April Fools came around just sitting in that car. That's terrible. It's brutal. What's he doing now? uh He lives in Temecula actually. Oh yeah. So I don't know what he's doing out there. She's man talking to his parents, probably not 04:00 all right. Well, what a great way to start the episode that's so sad. That's not let's talk about someone else. That's one of those ideas that you would have as a parent and be like wouldn't that be really funny if we did that and then you kind of laughed about it and you're like yeah, we way too cruel. We can't do that to this child that we love. You know that we've nurtured and cared for for sixteen years. Now we couldn't possibly see them be devastated when we return that car. Yeah, we can't do that because that would be cruel and then 04:28 some parents go. That's funny. 04:34 and like I don't need a relationship with them in couple of years. Oh, I would ah and then those parents have the audacity to get on the internet and be like oh my kid went no contact for no reason. Like I think it was a bunch of the car sick that might be one of them. I think it's the underlie okay, okay, but for real though the underlying part of your brain that's like that's really funny to do to my kid. 04:59 that level of cruelty is why they would go now contact for sure and you'd be like oh just because we played an April Fool's joke. My kid doesn't talk to me anymore. Anyway, that's yeah right, it's crazy, so that's not what this episode is about though. I mean, but it is a similar level of parenting. Oh oh 05:32 They're not throwing stuff 05:40 Things I learned last night. 05:49 tags yeah kind of uh so we got to start the story by talking about a guy by the name of Austin Wiggin here. He is and his wife, him and his wife happy family. Okay, you say that yeah. There are like a this, but a sixties photo yeah yeah. Here's somebody holding this picture 06:16 I have a who that is. I need to describe this because he shows a picture of a couple in the sixty's probably and then here is and I'm not trying to be mean. I'm saying like this is Jeffrey Dommer in a very dark room lit up holding this printed out version of this picture. That's terrifying. It's not like and like the guy's not smiling along with it. He's like looking over the top of it just like 06:45 Look at these people like look at these victims of mine. 06:51 crazy. I don't know why this picture exists. I'm not gonna lie. That's not relevant. That guy's not relevant at the story at all. No, no, no. I don't know who he is or why he did this. All right, but okay, sure. You just found this and thought it'd be funny to include. Yeah, because it is. It is funny to include. Okay, so Austin, the the husband in this photo, his mom had a hobby growing up and her hobby was palm reading. 07:20 And so she read his poems one day and she told him, okay, yes, I can tell from your palms that you are going to marry a woman with blonde hair. You're going to have two sons after I die and you're going to have daughters and your daughters are going to be famous musicians. And Austin said, okay, mom, I'm going to go play. Uh, and then kind of like forgot about it. But then he married his wife who has blonde hair. Yeah. Hard to see in this photo. 07:49 And then his mom died shortly after he had two sons. Okay. And then years later he had three daughters and so okay, became convinced that his daughters were going to be famous musicians. And so one day, what about his sons? What are they doing? Just dumb. I don't know. Now that I think about it, this might be his son. 08:12 My parents, my parents favored my sisters. Okay, ah so he pulls his daughters out of school and he buys them instruments. He is not a musician. He does not know how to play. Okay, he does not even think to get them lessons. He just gives them instruments and says here you're going to be famous musicians and he is like this is what you should spend your time doing is learning how to play and they're like we don't know how and he's like 08:41 learn. He's like yeah, I don't. I know you don't know how, but that's why I'm telling you this is what you should do is figure it out. So start to learn like it. Just do it. Okay, it's not hard. It's not her hard to learn stuff and so these girls uh there's actually a fourth one that you don't hear about a lot and she's never in any of the photos, which is very strange to me, but there's Dorothy who he has six kids. Yes, four daughters, two sons, two sons. Yes. Okay, um there's Dorothy. She goes by dot 09:11 kind of cool dot Wigan Helen Betty and I know my wife can't listen to this. You don't want her to hear the name dot any time you give a cute little nickname like that. Now she wants to name our kid Dorothy. I know it. I know the second she heard that she's like that's really cute dotty dot dot dot Myers yeah honestly pretty sick because you've got jerry Myers dot com. You could have dot dot com dot dot dot dot 09:41 Can you have a dot dot domain name dot dot. 09:47 You can have anything at the end. I don't know if you got anything at the end. Hold on works. don't think that's how that works. Yes, uh dot dot dot dot dot is a sick domain name. It says is unavailable domains. Yeah, it doesn't okay come up anyway, and it's not even like it's like a hey. We can get it for you. It's just not available. I don't think you can have a dot dot, but that's sick. If you could yeah, I'm going to campaign for that. I don't know where I campaign for that, but I want a dot dot dot 10:16 Okay anyways, so they get together. They start learning and practice for the four of them and over time they get to the point where they can do something that resembles me. Were they born? What time era is this? Could we joke that they like that photo looks like the sixties, but I feel like you should know the time frame of the years that their band was active. They started in nineteen sixty five okay, and they named their band the shacks and so they got to the point where they started being able to do something that resembled music. 10:57 that's such an incredibly hurtful thing to say about somebody's art. Okay, they're doing something that resembles music, I guess. 11:16 okay, they live in this small town in New Hampshire called Fremont um and they his dad or their dad started going around and being like you got to put my daughters on your shows uh and so they would get put on events and it started out like talent shows and like yeah, it would play at like roller rinks and things like that same stuff. I did at beginning of my career. Yeah, you just real wherever people would take you anybody that someone let you do it. I'll do it. So this is a photo from one of the early shows again. 11:44 Where's the for the fourth one is just never pictured, but she's always listed. Also the head stocks on these guitars are so sick like so sick. Yeah, I don't know and what's the age differences between these girls? I don't know. They're pretty close. I was gonna say they're very similar. Yeah, they look like the same person. Honestly, yes, I was wondering if any of them were twins because they look like clones. Okay, it was like he's like only I have any daughters, so he cloned his sons and 12:14 made them daughters. so yeah, so they started doing these events and here's the thing I said that they they started being able to do something that resembled music. They weren't good and so they would do these events and this is the sixties and people. Here's the thing about the sixties is audiences. If you were bad, they let you know and so they would go do they still do just so you know, just so you know as a performer, you know, well, they would go to these shows and people would just throw trash at them. 12:44 they like from their concessions. They're just throw it on stage and so they were driving around New Hampshire and their dad putting them on these events yeah and word started to spread about them and people would show up. Some people would show up because they were like oh, it's a dance. I can go and I could dance at this event because a dance is used to always have live bands. They have we have record player or whatever DJs. That's the word I'm looking for sure they always had live bands. They were the live band. People would show up to dance the back. All these guys suck, but then there was a large amount of people, mostly like high school kids. 13:14 who found out oh this band that's really bad. It's going to be there. We should go and boo them. Oh, we should go to be mean to them because it'll be fun yeah and so they kind of got this reputation. Bullying was cool in the six. They got this reputation of like being a bad band that people would go see to be mean to because they were so bad and at a certain point. Okay, and the girls are like dad. We don't want to keep doing it. Shut up 13:41 and so they get back out there. They started getting booked more and more because they drew such a big, I drew a big crowd, even though the crowd was not like hostile. Yeah, they were a bad crowd, but people were still showing up, so they were getting their buying tickets. Yeah, they're getting. Yeah exactly. Now that's a strategy. 14:02 So their dad is like, hey, they're catching fire, right? And so they had a weekly standing event in Fremont at like one of the concert halls and they had events all around the state. They're like getting, I don't want to say big because they weren't good. Nobody was there because they liked them, but they were getting big for being bad. But I don't think their dad recognized this for being bad. 14:29 And so their dad is like, it's like a lot of the things that we share on tick tock with each other. Yeah, there's so many accounts that exist on tick tock. That's clearly like this person is famous because of how bad they are at this talent. They're trying to show off. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, it's in people and like most people on internet, tock is different on tick tock because it's like nobody has to see you making fun of them. 14:55 that this is true. Making fun of the I don't know man. If you look to the comment section because it's pretty visible. 15:03 I guess that's fair, yeah, I guess that is fair. 15:08 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks. You get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk, we have show and tell sometimes. We've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode, tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it and we want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 15:42 So their dad is like, they're catching fire. This is the moment. This is their moment. This is where they're going to make it. like, they range from like late middle school to mid high school at this point in age, but they're not going to school. And so he's like, he's like, I'm going to drive them down to revere Massachusetts, probably named after Paul. 16:08 they drive down to Paul Revere and they go to a recording studio and review Massachusetts and he pays for them to record an album, a full length album. What did he do for a job? We know he was a mill hand at Exeter, so this is not like he's not like a rich in person. I mean no, no yeah, so he saved up deal yeah. That's what I'm saying. This was a major investment. Yeah, this isn't like he's like a rich guy was just pushing his kids into success. Yeah, this is like he believes his mom's palm reading yeah. 16:37 Way too much. How do you explain that to your wife and children? Hey, your grandma told my told me because she read my hand. Your grandma felt my hand a little bit and said that you were going to be famous. Read the lines. Read. Can't you read? No, Dad, we didn't go to school. 16:57 You don't even know where reading is. Every night. 17:10 I see your name in lights again shags the share. People are chanting shags shags shags shags. What is the thing? Is the thing he he was working and so he never saw these shows. He just knew that they were booking a lot of shows. It's like you guys sold a thousand to the class and I like yeah like dad. He's like nonsense. He like wouldn't listen to them. 17:38 but he's like you're, you're, were they perceiving that it was bad? I think yeah, I think they totally knew and I they weren't passionate about it either. Like they did not want to do this, but their head was like so heavily pushing it toward, but they weren't like they were good at this. No, I don't think yeah, they I don't think they thought that so they put together this record and they recorded a full length album. Do we have any audio with the sounds like yeah? Do want to hear some? I would love to hear what the band sounds like ah so 18:02 Here's here's a can we play this is this owned by we can play a couple seconds. Okay, here's a track. It's a single that they put out before they put out the record called my pal foot foot. Here's the Al my pal foot foot. Yeah, it's named after will dot had a cat that she called foot foot because it only had the two back feet and so is foot foot. So for the audio listener, it's a hand drawn. It looks like a tiger, but attached to a fish face. 18:32 Which honestly, here's the crazy thing. This looks like any Midwest Emo's DIY album art. Oh yeah, it's cool. Like it's it's it very much would fly today. Let's hear it. But yeah, here's the track. Hopefully this plays. 18:54 You know, we fast forward to like an actual main part. We can skip to this. uh 19:13 it sounds like the music you hear in a nightmare. It's like you were spot on with something that sounds like music. It's my pals name is here's the problem do the way my brain works. 19:33 and the dad can't hear them practicing well. The dad's not a musician either, so like he just hears it resembles music and he's like and they're so good. Ting ting so my pals name is foot foot. 19:53 So the audio engineer records this whole album and we do. This is this is the producers yeah where you can make something so bad. You didn't know that reference the producers. I know what the producers is yeah. What is it? It's a musical go ahead where you can make something so that it was successful. You only know it and I only and I know you only know it from curb your enthusiasm. Is that why you know it? I actually my mom liked that. I think I yeah think so 20:23 It's got me thinking there's a way to do this podcast, the shags and first of all, no, because I'm legitimately good at this row, your trash in our comments. Just leave a comment that just is trash. Put your comments in the comment. Leave your thoughts, ding dead prayers to 20:53 Cut the cut. It's fun because her rhythm, the drummer's rhythm specifically, just keeps changing. Every measure is a new rhythm. Okay. I love it so much. So they record this. engineer sits down, records a track, turns to their dad and says, Austin, they are not ready yet. And he says, they are selling out night after night. We have to get this record out now. This is their chance. And so the audio engineer... 21:23 basically gets held at gunpoint doesn't actually get held at gunpoint, but the dad like heavily pressures them and it's like just I'm paying you put this record together and he's like this is bad and so and he's like okay, if you really want to do this, but they're selling out shows like this yeah. I mean they're selling out shows, but like these aren't they're like hundred cap rooms. They're not like, but still they're selling out. They yeah they are. They are people are there to make fun of them or they don't know what they're getting into. It's probably more on the promoter than any and anything. 21:52 but it's working okay. They put together this album called the philosophy of the world again. The four sister is in here and I don't know why okay and and she's in the drum. She plays from the inside like she's not even holding the sticks like she even wants to pretend to know how to play the drums. You know and like 22:22 Are they both playing guitar? No base yeah yeah well, honestly, that might be the third the fourth sister that's just missing. She might be the bassist philosophy of the world sick cover art and so honestly here's the thing. Here's another like promotional photo that they got to which girls. These girls are still looks like a Midwest. These girls are still alive. That's all I can say right now. These girls are still alive. 22:49 they're still like I can't wait to find out what they're doing now. uh This this looks like a Midwest Emo band. Yeah, they're all standing there with their hands straight down to their side like a bunch of homeschoolers like genuinely any any kid, any hipster that liked folk in twenty fifteen. This would have been their favorite band. Wow, send this to Aaron Malone and so like they have shout out to our friend Aaron Mola and her bands are good. I don't know how many bands she's in uh and so 23:18 there's a little, you know, whatever and you're telling me that that's straight up. The one on the left is like an Aaron Malone outfit. It really I think I've seen Aaron wear that outfit before. Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's so sick. It is. Yeah, it looks great. The whole thing is are very sixties outfits. It's very fat. This is fashionable now. Yeah, I actually it's ironic. You said that I saw a tweet 23:43 I always call just anything on threads or a blue sky or anything tweets. I don't use Twitter, but I thought tweet the other day. Someone said Hank Green did a great video on that. How is it we how the word tweet is means something in our culture? Yeah, you can't just buy Twitter and be like change it. Yeah, yeah, I agree. Yeah, so I saw tweet and this communication form is a tweet. Yes, yeah, not this. This is a podcast. 24:11 But I'm saying like he was, that's he saying is like this form of communication, short text form. This is a tweet that's not that's in our lexicon that way the same way it's a google. It is just search online. Yeah, why don't you google it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but this guy tweeted he said he said turns out life is just watching it go from skinny jeans to baggy jeans to skinny jeans to baggy jeans. Yeah, that's so accurate and here's the more because you keep gaining weight and losing weight and then gaining weight. No, I think it's he's talking about the style 24:41 Oh, it's like watching it because that was back then it makes sense. I thought it was like yeah. Life is just me gaining ten pounds, losing ten pounds, gaining ten pounds, losing ten pounds and that's what thirties are. You know, you gain some weight, you lose some weight, so their dad continued toting them around. Yeah, they went and they how long are they doing this printed all these records? Well, don't give you the end time yet, but how long into this is like what year the album come out. 25:10 This album is sixty nine, so they're four years and they've been they've been bad. Yeah, and no point for a while in public. They've been bad in public. They've been bad in public. 25:24 And so they put this record together and they actually they go to a like record printer a dryers record company and they put together a thousand copies of the album with liner notes and everything like it was a full record that they put together. Yeah, they got that put together and they uh for some reason were only a hundred copies of this record got delivered. The rest of the nine hundred were just gone. 25:52 Okay, so I don't know what happened with that, but their dad took him around the local record stores to get him to sell in record stores and started. They started bringing them to the events to start selling these okay, and they continued doing shows and their shows continued doing badly. I should say doing badly. Their show still did well. I was just say the show was bad, but they were selling tickets. They were selling more and more. No, they just continued selling like these hundred cap rooms okay until eventually uh Austin 26:22 had a massive heart attack and died ah and this was seventy five and the girls said ten years in yeah and the girls were like we don't want to do this anymore ah and so they just stopped and that was the end of the shags until yeah in until ah somewhere. What was this in the eighties in the mid eighties someone was digging around that record printing company and managed to find nine hundred copies of philosophy of the world. m 26:51 and he listening to it and he was like holy cow. This is rough. He's like everybody has to see this and so he started just giving out copies of this to everybody and he was like you got to check out this record. This is so right. One of the his contacts was a Boston radio station host at WPC and WBCN, which was a big yeah radio. Nothing radio guys love more than being like 27:14 hey guys, it's your Tuesday drive. Check out this terrible song we found from the shags. I know it's morning. I know you're stuck in traffic, but you know what would make that worse? Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba and then you're stuck in traffic. You're like oh my gosh dude. So they started playing on the radio and it started getting to the point where in the eighties they started playing on the radio yeah and this started getting 27:40 passed around to radio stations in the Northeast, because they were like, oh, we to our hands on that. Yeah, we got to our hands on that and start playing that. This is a meme band. Yeah. And so it became this thing where everyone's like, look how this is the worst band in the world. Meanwhile, these girls are listening to the radio and they're like, hey, that's my song. And so my cat's name is Footfoot. He is a deformed cat and he's pretty sad that he has only two foot. 28:11 So in the 80s, the Rolling Stone writes an article about them because they find out about it. And so they put this together, the worst album ever recorded. And they publicized this big article about how bad this record was. And then it became like this cult classic. Everyone wanted to get their hands on one of these copies because there's 900 in the world. Yeah. It was like, need and I need to own a philosophy of the war. And they're not making any money from this, though. No. Yeah. Because the record company owns it. 28:37 Got it. OK. And so the record company is putting out there are there's the 900 that are just like floating out in the world and they're getting royalties from all the radio stations that are playing it. And this is like such a big deal throughout the 80s that by the 90s Kurt Cobain on an interview says that one of his top influences is the Shaxx and whether he was trying to be funny or not. 29:05 I don't know, but it was enough to wear enough of his fans were like we need to find the shags and so this like just started becoming this thing that was just rolling over from the eighties into the nineties of everybody being like oh, we love the shacks somehow. This got back to the shacks and they were like oh, should we do a reunion and so in ninety nine dot was a what I mean what's the what's the harm? What's the risk? It's not like you're like oh, are we still you think we still got it? 29:35 What if we go out there and we're not as good anymore? So dot dot and I just don't remember how to play that song. I never knew. I guess what's crazy guys I got to I got to admit thirty years later. I never knew how to play that. Yeah, I was thinking too. I didn't know either. You were faking the whole time. I didn't know either. I would have said that for dad guys 30:04 Can I be in it this time? You were in it the whole time. No, I wasn't. I was just around. I was just around. He would be on you guys would play. I would go around the corner and get an ice cream cone, but then she'd be on stage halfway through just on the edge of stage, basically side stage, but not quite enough to be off stage still technically on stage just like VIP lanyard on the edge of the spotlight. 30:33 half in half out of the spot. You can hear her in the album yeah, the audio engineer was kind of like he's sitting right next to her and the audio engineer just went 30:52 you guys got to hear out loud. No, you guys don't get it. That's the best part of the record. It's not going to hurt the leaflet says dot lead guitar and vocals, Helen, a rhythm guitar, Betty drums, racial ice cream, 31:16 If you the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you were in public and you can tell them about your lord and savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 31:45 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 32:14 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 32:37 Did you hear? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 32:51 and then you're going to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 33:02 I don't want to be. Well, hey, there's skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too premium leave all this in that hand. 33:15 does the leaflet actually list Rachel though it does yeah and as what I don't know what it lists her as it lists all in it. I don't know if it lists like but it lists four people and there's three on the cover in the pad yeah. Rachel is never seen okay, so in the nineties and I do and Rachel's like can I be in I be no like yeah Rachel so in ninety nine no they go. She goes she goes hey guys and like 33:43 wait. Oh, we have a fourth sister. Sorry Rachel. I didn't realize you were there scared me. What do you want? Can I be? What do you want? Rachel? I guess so guys ban meeting huddle up. Let me in. Let me in her forty at this point. Let me in. I please be in the how old in the sixty. I mean the band with sixty in sixty five. They were middle school to high school 34:12 Okay, so they're in their fifties and nineties right yeah, I think so yeah, uh so ninety nine, maybe, maybe later forties early fifties ninety nine rolls around and there was this like new found like excitement over it and so dot at the time she was working as a cleaner betty was a school janitor janitor. Rachel was aware, Rachel Rachel was a warehouse employee and let me just read 34:42 the Wikipedia line for Helen. Helen was living on disability benefits with severe depression. Wonder why um probably probably her dad um taking them out of school and for sure play music that she didn't like. So they got back to that. They're like, let's get the band back together. People like us now. And so they start playing these like festivals that were put together from like sure they're like independent DIY type festivals, the kind of stuff that 35:12 Nirvana Nirvana fans would go to Nirvana. You know the type of thing that Nirvana fans would like and so they were go and they would play like side stages at these festivals right, but they had like a cult falling. So now for the first time ever people would go see them and people seem like they liked them and they're like what is happening? I'm like we're not getting booed like they can't were no one's like the riot police. ah 35:41 And they're like, guys, they're not throwing stuff at us. 35:48 Guys. 35:58 That's Rachel on the side of the stage. 36:05 What if she doesn't talk? does. I think I or make her super. She did not talk to heads, Paul, Rachel, where's your shoes? The show, give her shoes, shoes, playing these festivals, festivals. 36:32 And it was like a couple uh of festivals they played in 99. Yeah, the shags on war towards this summer. And so then this record label in 2001 put together uh Animal World is what they're called. They released a Better Than The Beatles tribute album with covers of the shags that big name artists covered covers, covered shags songs. 36:57 you know how much talent it would take to learn that drum part for real. That's what I was like how how much talent it would take to go well, someone in this era sat down and like I know it's it's tough. It's tough to not to be that bad for me. It looks pretty easy for you. Someone sat down. Oh, they did it out. Wow crazy 37:26 it's a little tough to tough to follow, um so you could if you wanted to yeah and honestly would be a pretty good bit for you to learn this ah my pal foot foot cover. ah So that record came out and prompted them to get together for another reunion in the early two thousands um and riser records came back together and they re released this record and so they actually printed it for mass release a new release of this record. 37:56 okay, and they put together this cool new album art for it still right. So guys, it's so this is a drawing of the three sisters. I think those two are twins. They've got to be right. Yeah, they look very similar and so Rachel's not in it. I mean is it could be. I mean they they all look very, very similar. Yeah, they're siblings. That's how that works. 38:24 I think Rachel's in this one, but she's cropped out. We did cut Rachel out of this photo, um so they they got to the point where all these artists were starting to list them as um influences and stuff yeah yeah and then in to their there now all the bands, greatest bands of the nineties are like making this joke that the shags is their greatest influence yeah and that's that here's the interesting thing about it. I will say this is weird and I don't know what to take of it. 38:54 we watch the interviews. They say it and it's one of those things was like they could be joking, but they're like not acting like they're joking. So it's like it could be one of those things where it's like you're joking and you don't want to whatever you know, but it could be one those things where they could be serious because all of them, their bands like Nirvana, where their sound was so different from everything else that like that could have. Do you think they're like they're just like their home? I love that these girls clearly didn't kid. I love those girls just put that stuff out there. They didn't care if people liked it and the other girls like actually 39:24 we actually really wanted people to love this. I thought people would like it. Everyone's a put your ice cream cone down and talk for second. She's been eating that ice cream cup for twenty three years. The same one code. It's so moldy Tim. 39:50 Jared and I have this thing gets to a different place. I have this thing where I always take away further than turn like you know, is I even further. It's just you take a hard left and I'm like yes and I have to yes and you take not only a left but like a full will you turn around the block and you go, it's moldy. Yeah, think she's chopping on mold and she just won't finish. I did this thing last night. 40:21 I was we were on our fancy football draft and I had a slice of pizza and I just kept taking the first bite, but I would like I would just like light it up so it my all I did was just eating the same. So it looks like you're eating a new slice of pizza every time yeah, but it's just one. It's just the first bite of it and I did it for two and a half hours just and it really it took probably two hours before Zach noticed and he was like. Are you eating the same slice of pizza? There's a whole time 40:49 and you're like I got yeah, I'm actually starving because I haven't taken a bite of this in two hours. I'm favoring hungry so cold. This bit was very worth it. I'm glad that you noticed. Had you not, I would have had to text you and be like hey guys, I mean this is that you know it's a hard time right now because the work was tough yesterday, man, so 41:14 that's why did you do that? That's what I'm saying. That's a Winston bit where it's like. Oh, I can't. Did they laugh? No, they didn't get it. It's like they didn't get it. They would laugh if they got it. This is super funny dude. 41:37 it's cold man. You've wasted your pizza. It's funny. Cold beats is still pretty good thing. I want pizza so bad right now. So in two thousand four K a producer came forward and was like hey, I want to tell your story yeah, and so he made their story into a musical and it actually landed on broadway for a short run on broadway, but the best part about it 42:03 is Rachel is uh still not in it. Oh, poor girl. Yeah. And so this is them playing at a birthday party in the show. Yeah, they got the hats and everything. Yeah. And so it tells their story and they have mixed feelings about it because it kind of made their story a little hokey uh as opposed to reality. It turned their lives into a loopy joke is the quote uh and then in 2006, dies. 42:32 and then do you have any pictures of them in the nineties playing though? Do you have any pictures of what they looked like as adults playing? I don't have any pictures in the nineties, but I can tell you that in twenty fifteen they got invited by neutral milk hotel, which one of our patrons said, would you say neutral milk hotel neutral milk hotel milk? Yeah, neutral neutral like park new verse. Yes, 43:02 Yes. Yes. Okay. So milk hotel, which one of our patrons says is their favorite band. Oh, it's a band. Yeah, that's a band neutral milk hotel took them on tour to be their opener. And so they toured in 2015 and this is them opening for that, for that band and onto Helen's Helen's dead though. 43:26 so I don't know if notice this. There's only two of them brought two other dudes to play and Rachel still not in the band, but is it and here's what I also love. They have a music stand with their lyrics on there, you know, because they're going to forget the lyrics thousand and the musicians are in the back and it's like hey, you guys are paid musicians. Could you guys learn these songs and if you're a paid musician, here's my thought 43:55 they can't tell if you did or not. Why waste your time? Learn the song, just play whatever you think they're going to know. They're literally just playing smoke on the water. Rachel is still not in this by the way. 44:10 where I don't even think Rachel's real at this point. I don't understand. She never shows up at any of the pictures, any of the pictures. I hate the way you're like Helen's dead. Okay, and how I mean like how old are they in that? Like guys that they're they're this sixties. Yeah, they're all they're older. Yeah, you know, early seventies. What's crazy is at this point in time when they were touring with neutral milk hotel uh 44:37 their original the original nine hundred copies were selling for ten thousand dollars at auction like they're like important things that people are trying to get their hands on ah and so that's truly wild yeah. So they ended up. uh This is this story is so interesting to me because it kind of feels like that guy. What's what am I thinking of who got famous in Australia? Oh six to Rodriguez yeah kind of feels like six to Rodriguez is so Rodriguez was bad like they got famous years later without realizing it and then they did and then they went on tour. 45:06 but they are famous for not being good, which is just so fascinating to me. You can fail your way into and that's maybe that's the lesson. Well, that's the thing. They weren't really successful though like they. mean they kind of where they made a living from that, though. No, I don't think so. I think the record companies made a lot of money and that's why I could only play a couple seconds because the record companies still on the rights to all these songs. Yeah, songs on YouTube and everywhere. Well, we'll play it. We'll play more of one in the after the fiddle where our patreon supporters received it. um 45:34 and so if you're, if you're a patron supporter, you can get that's that's included to you because we don't monetize those videos um yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, they've they've they're it's a band. It's so bad. Yeah, wow yeah, very odd and I'm trying to think of like if there's like a magician could do that be so bad that they were good. Yes, like you 46:04 I don't know like I'm just thinking like there's like there's a way to do that where it like that to me feels like Zach Zucker, who I send you his videos all the time where it encroaches into the territory of clowning where you're intentionally doing something so poorly and so there's no structure to this that it's like it's you know, but he's doing in a way that's like he's brilliant. Well, what's really interesting is if you go online like on YouTube like they have the actual record and so you could hear the songs from the actual record 46:33 but there actually is a lot of bands that covered their songs because I do think you're right. Like I think there's this weird challenge of like yeah learning to play it because it's so not normal. You know what's crazy though. Rachel ice cream girl is the only one to beat the devil in a fiddle. If you like that episode, you might like six to Rodriguez, another guy who got famous long after he was trying to get famous and then he went on tour after the fact. 46:57 and if you want to see next week's episode, you can do that right now over on patreon. We'll see you next week on things. I learned last night. Share this with somebody while you're at it. Yeah, tell a friend. Don't wait thirty years. Don't wait thirty years to tell someone about this podcast.


Some stories in music history are stranger than fiction. The rise of The Shaggs is one of them. What started as a father’s obsession with a palm reading became a band often labeled the worst band ever. Yet, against all odds, their legacy still echoes decades later. A Band Born from a Prophecy The Shaggs were formed in the 1960s … Read More

The Lies About Balloonfest ’86

09-16-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of balloon fest eighty six balloon fest? Oh, I think I've heard of this yeah. I think okay well uh wait. Maybe I'm thinking I is this hot air balloons or is this like the no it's it's cold air balloons cold air balloons. Okay, standard air balloons. 00:24 Okay, so high school was in the 80s. So hey, what do you guys think about us filling up balloons? And they're like, 00:31 Yeah, do whatever you want. You know, they're cool. They're way too cool for this. They got the puffy hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're way too cool. They're like, they're smoking in class. so much in school. Things I learned last night. 00:54 Standard, normal, regular, everyday air balloons. Okay. uh Okay. I think the best way to start this story is by talking about the only thing that makes sense when talking about balloons and that is Disney World or Disneyland Disneyland Disneyland because in nineteen eighty five Disneyland said, what did it be sweet? They're celebrating their thirtieth. Yeah. They said, of these sweet if we launched more balloons than anybody's ever launched in the history of this world. And so they hired a guy. 01:23 by the name of let me get his name real quick. They hired a guy by the name of Treb Treb Henning. I'm pretty sure it's trim. I'm sorry. Did you say? Did you say trim rev? No Treb T reb? Okay, he what nationality is that name? Is that shoot? Is that shoot? Is that short for something? I don't know if it's short for anything. I've seen an interview of him and he looks like an average eighties 01:52 dad like white suburban dad treb is a cool name. Yeah, I don't know like because he's got like the male pattern baldness and like the big glasses with thin rim. What is Jeb short for Jebediah Treva Daya Treba Daya. So Treba Daya had a company called Balloon Art by Treb, okay, and he was based in La. Yeah, it's fun because if you if you read articles about this, it says they uh subcontracted 02:20 Los Angeles based company balloon art by trap and it's like we don't have to act like this is like a big company like the way you're phrased. Yeah, I lost this is base. This is a dude who fills balloons up in his garage. Is that really the vibe or is it like a company? Well, I don't know what the vibe is. I mean, I guess technically speaking he is doing a lot of big events with these balloons. Okay, so he did the Olympics. He did the balloons for the Olympics. Yes, he's probably a bigger. He's not probably doing that in his garage. I mean yeah, he's got a three car 02:51 In 1985, yeah, he was freaking rich. Nineteen, nineteen eighty five. I have a three car garage at my house. My dad fills up balloons all day, not with hot air. It's all cold. Just standard clear balloon. Nineteen eighty five. So this is like, hey, we need you to make more balloons go up than anybody's ever made. Go up and he was like, OK, 03:21 weird way to say that. So they hired him for this event. Okay, and it was just gone up. Okay, you you hit it exactly on the head. They was a thirty year anniversary. They wanted to make a big deal out of it, say hard. Well, I know because right now is their seventy. Yeah, this year was there. They're like how we've been around for like a long time, been around long enough to die. Hey, speaking of dying dude, here's the thing man. 03:50 I think I might be losing it because I as soon as I landed in the airport last night, I get off the plane and you know what's vacuuming the airport, one of the one of those robots. Yeah, I go to quick trip today. What's in quick trip one of those little I and that the quick trip one talks to you. It's got I say it went welcome to quick trip and I wanted it to die so bad. I wanted to knock it over because it looks like a little miniature zamboni just go and a trip. 04:20 down like that yeah. What are we doing yeah? My the quick trip by my house they put all the floors are got a little action figure that sits on top of it. I hate it yeah and here's what I was thinking is that because I was actually talking to a guy today about how like the vin hub by my house yeah. You know I called you I ranted about this yeah. I told you about the vin hub thing. Do I talk about this on the podcast you might have the vin hub. It's a giant vending machine with robots inside 04:49 and so you go twenty four seven. It's like a convenience store. They've got like energy drinks, anything that you would have like a seven eleven like you know, little snacks, uh ibuprofen, all the stuff and it's got little robot arms that you just basically just go. want that and it goes and the guy today made a really great point was he said well yeah, but like in five years that the robot technology is outdated, so they have to replace the robot. He goes so all the savings they're saving by not having the tendon 05:17 they're going to have to replace those parts. Even if it's not five years, they're replace those parts in ten fifteen, maybe maybe yeah, maybe true and I and I said this. I said you that's right. I mean like it takes people seventy years to break down and these robots break down every ten 05:34 Yeah, I guess that's true. So honestly, capitalist pigs. If you're listening, which I know you are, you're not listening, you're really your your I don't know. You have like a an AI recap. That's just like they joked around and about this and blah blah blah blah or whatever. It was really annoying. You should leave a comment about how annoying it was. That's the AI. The A is like if you're listening, it's more cost effective for you to hire people because 05:58 to one. Two things are going to happen. One, this little quick trip robot is going to run out of juice. The battery is going to replace the no. The battery costs more than the whole appliance itself. The battery will corral and two I'm going to beat the crap out of it and you're going to have to replace. You're to have to do something about that. I'm to fight that robot fist fight that robot. Okay, all right, me and velocity gnome are here to fight that robot and fight the robot bears. 06:27 You know, is this a valid crash out? I'm having or no, it is a bad crash out. I I don't think it's. I don't know. I think it's a valid crash out. Yeah, whatever, but I there's nothing we could do about it. We're just going to become. we're all just going to die. All right, only in seventy years though, which is how old Disney was or is now at this time. They were thirty at this time. Disney was young and spry and only thirty years old and still had a whole life ahead of it. 06:55 disneyland yeah sorry disney yeah yeah yeah, and so they were like we got to celebrate have the bird had a big in a big party yeah so treb put together a million balloons and I can't picture what a million balloons looks like he went to disney and he released a million balloons at disney land my gosh he filled those up in his garage yeah there's one hot air balloon in the background. Oh yeah look at that. I think it was that so this is cool yeah it's not really thinking about anything 07:25 in the neighborhood or did they get this approved by the city? I mean this was eighty five, so probably not. I mean yeah, I do five. Who cares? um I miss the days man, could you can't do something like this now? No, you could not because of this. Probably what happened? So they did this. How many fish did that kill? I don't know. um I imagine that it all goes into the ocean. Well, I mean, I don't know 07:53 I don't know. As far as I'm aware, this goes off relatively without a hitch, but there was someone in the crowd that day and he worked for United Way. was in the marketing department uh and he saw this and he said, this is really cool. And he said, I just recently got placed in a new United Way office in Cleveland, Ohio. And he said, man, Cleveland's there. They're in a bad way. uh Cleveland over the last 10 years has been just rotted with scandal. 08:23 So the list is pretty long. We're going to kind of go through everything real quick, so you can just get an idea of where Cleveland's at as a city. Okay, obviously they're a steel town and they are part of the whole motor city, like falling apart, or a tree big. Yeah, so like they blew up in population and now in this era when everything got shipped overseas in the late seventies, they no longer have in the late seventies. No, in the 08:51 early like 70s. Yeah, the whole 70s across the 70s. Yeah, these all these auto and manufacturers got shipped overseas. Yeah. And so then a lot of their manufacturer manufacturing plants shut down, steel plants shut down and a lot of people lost their jobs. Right. This was also the era of white flight. so downtown Cleveland was falling apart because of white flight. On top of that, there was a shocking amount of bomb violence throughout 09:20 the seventies really enough to where they earned the name bomb city USA because there was just so many people just like doing like like bombs yeah just makeshift bombs and so like car bombs were constantly going off and like people were setting up little like um what's the word on the pipe bombs everywhere it was just a really common thing terrorism I mean terrorism but also people who were like it was like going postal but before going postal it was like I'm gonna bomb 09:49 my office because I'm disgruntled or like I lost my job at the steel mill. So I'm going to bomb the steel mill. uh People are doing that in this era. Okay. So like it was like it was such a big deal. Like everyone was bombing everybody and then the main river that went through Cleveland was super polluted. I actually have a picture of how bad it was. This is how polluted the river was from all the steel mills. They were just yeah. And so throughout red yeah and it got so bad. Why they're the Cleveland Browns? 10:19 It looks like their color. 10:24 like what do you guys want to be our football team? Let's name it after the river of Brown. 10:31 Look at it. That's the same orange. Oh my gosh for the audio listener. It's Cleveland in the nineteen eighties. This is seventy's the seventies and the river is the color of the Brown's helmet. It actually is orange. I mean if you can't make sense that I can't get anyone else. Now I'm pretty sure the Browns started in Baltimore. They're the Baltimore Browns and I'm pretty sure they're named after the founders dog. Okay, but and I don't know if that's true, but I'm pretty sure he's made it up, but 10:59 This does look like the Cleveland Browns colors yeah, but it was so polluted that more than five times throughout the 70s. The river caught on fire. ah Oh, like big time caught on fire. Wow, and so if you're listening, it looks like a fire on the river. Put that out. Yeah, that's a good question. More water. You push it. You push it. Push the fire into the water. 11:25 get that fire underwater. Is it like is it like the you know you know too much about this right? Not ask follow up questions. I know. Is it like the chemicals laying on top of the water? Yes, I do know that there's like oils over the top of it. That's this is burning on the top of the okay the river. Okay, super common. Also this guy seeing okay, let's keep going through the corruption. Go ahead. I'm just going through like this guy is like dang man. Our city's suffering because people have lost their jobs. People are leaving the downtown for suburban areas. 11:53 the rivers brown and on fire. You know what the Cleveland needs well there may be a million and one balloons. Their mayor Ralph Perk. Okay. He he was a little he was I was the word eccentric didn't have a great reputation on the national stage and one day in the 70s this he was mired in a scandal. 12:21 that made national news. was on the front page of newspapers across the country because he was at a uh public, like a very big uh event for the American Society of Metals at the Cleveland Convention Center. they had him cut the ribbon going into the convention, right? But they thought it'd be cool if the ribbon was made of titanium. And they're like, you cut the titanium ribbon. But obviously you can't cut that with scissors. 12:50 so he cut it with uh with a welding torch. People were terrified cut, he cuts it with a laser. No, he cuts it with a welding torch, oh and so he put on the goggles, cuts it with a welding torch and a spark bounced up in his hair and caught his head on fire, and so this picture was on the newspaper, the front page of the paper across the country. 13:19 And look at him. 13:25 Oh my gosh and he lost some hair, but that was really it, and this is what sucks about doing comedy. Do is that we would do that in a tv. I would pitch that for a sketch or a tv show and someone would go there like it's like when people were like parks and rec is too you know over the top and it's like are you are you looking around at real life dude? That's crazy. So this guy he also got an invite to the White House 13:54 and I kid you not because of this or I don't know if it was because of this. I don't know if it was before after this was Nixon in right now. I think so Nixon was sixty nine seventy four so yeah it was during I was thinking of the Republican move in the fifth or all for the polarization and then in the board was seventy four to seventy seven Carter seventy seven to eighty one. That's right anyways, so he got an invite to the White House uh and uh his response dead serious was like I can't make it 14:23 because Tuesday night is bowling night a turn it down because he had a ball. He's like no, no, I'd rather be bowling. Here's a thing dude. People used to do that bowling's important. Bowling's important to me man. I don't know what you expect. President Nixon was it Nixon? Is that what we said? Yeah, that was that was during his term. Okay, so this guy so he well here's okay tangent on the bowling thing now 14:52 I just ordered Robert Putnam's bowling alone book Robert Putnam. Why do I know what he's a social he's a sociologist or is he just a he wrote bowling alone, which is his huge book from the nineties and but it's about how the number of people who bold didn't go down, but the number of people who bold in groups did 15:13 so he became more of an individual uh activity, and so it's a it's a community book, but he's talking about like so like the reason that that he was not what not willing to skip his Tuesday night bowling group is that that's like that's like yeah. That's like if you were like hey, don't go to church on Sunday and for some people, that's like that's my community. That's the only place I can at this bowling yeah interesting anyway, and now we hold nothing sacred. It's true. I don't know if there's anything I would skip to be able to just be home alone on the weekend. uh I love 15:43 sometimes I'll make plans with someone that I know is going to cancel. Yeah, I hear like this will be great because you're not going to and then I always end up right in the window where they're like trying to turn their life around, you know, and they're like I'm trying to cancel less. Oh no, I was really banking on you not doing this. Speaking of people followed through, did you listen to my karaoke this weekend? 16:09 I was I wasn't sure if you were going to think it was mean or funny. Here's what I think. You know when someone wants to make it really obvious that they're too cool for something. Oh my God and and it makes them well you're like all right. You are too cool. My God, here's the here's genuine. I felt like I Alex has no idea what we're talking about, so we have a group chat where it's called Serenade Sunday where every Sunday we take a voice at memo 16:39 of us singing a song and you got to try earnestly to sing this week. I did um something like that, but Tim McGraw yeah and you just you play. You can either play not trying earnestly though. I know how you like that. I was. I was trying to a country accent earnestly. I was trying to do that. It was Labor Day week and I was seventeen. You know that see that's I don't sound good when I sing like Tim McGraw um 17:05 Tim sends a voice memo where he goes, pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and I listened to it and I went, Oh, all right. 17:16 I thought it was funny. The pledge was the last time you did the pledge. I do it every morning. 17:25 do it right now. Can you do the whole thing? I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Would you be able to do that? If you didn't hear me do that on a voice recording yesterday? Yeah, because I do it every morning. I wake up, I look myself dead in the eyes in the mirror because there's the red, white and blue is in my eyes. It's in my heart. I have to look like allegiance to the flag. 17:52 and to the savior for whose kingdom is tan. You're talking about indoctrination dude. I was in third grade doing the allegiance to the Christian flag and then also do you do the pledge of the Bible? We did the pledge to the Bible yeah and I remember a me a lamp into my feet, a light into my path. I remember being so confused as a kid because I went to Christian schools and so we flew the Christian flag outside at our flagpole, but the American flag flew higher. 18:20 And I remember nobody could give me a straight answer why we put the American flag above the Christian flag. I'm like, why isn't God more important to you than this country? And no one could give me a straight answer. The straight answer is that it's illegal not to. 18:34 I mean I know that's true, but if we're going to fly like no one who's in beyond it yeah. You do that. The cop show up sorry got to take you to jail flag flag code violation. Excuse me, it seems like your uh your flags are wrong. Here's my here's my hot takes on the half mass stuff. Okay, we are getting a little out of hand with them. 19:01 yeah, there's there's. I fee? Am I is this bad? Listen, if I see a flag half a bath, I have to ask if I have to Google, wonder why that's half mass, then it shouldn't be. I'm not trying to be insensitive. Yeah, I you agree with me on this. Yeah, it shouldn't be 19:17 it used to be like a president died or like nine eleven happened yeah, and now it's like dude. It's half mass more than its regular mast. I don't know what regular mass is called yeah and I got to google to figure out oh wires is down right now. No, I don't think that that's yeah. That's done my crazy Alex is giving us that at least like yeah. He's like yeah, I mean, but you know I do feel like it's a little yeah. You know if we have this thing that we say all the time 19:47 and like uh computer engineering. If everything is urgent, nothing is urgent. That's what that's what I'm saying feels like. Well, okay, okay, okay. I know we're gonna have big tangent right now. Okay, and I will get to the story later. This is the show welcome, but that kind of goes to the 20:09 the a part a big part of our culture is if some if I say something is important to me, then some people interpret that as the other things aren't important at all like where it's like it's either important or it's not and I'm it's like hey there's different varies like my wife is more important to me than my friends. Oh, so don't care about your friends, no 20:35 you don't talk about yeah yeah, and I think that that is pervaded a lot of anyway. Okay, we rant over put the flags up 20:48 Let's say together. Yeah, I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all for most for some. 21:10 Hey, thanks for watching our show. you like it, a great way to help out is by being a Patreon supporter. Doing that helps make this show possible, but it also gets a lot of perks for you. You can get every episode a week early ad free. You get access to a Discord where you can meet a lot of other people who love the show and actually hang out with Jaren and I every month on a hangout. And we're also in that Discord chat all the time, hanging, talking with people, talking about episodes and just random stuff in life. It's super fun. 21:33 We do, there's a way to get birthday messages, a free gift, merch discounts in there. So there's a lot of really great reasons to be a Patreon supporter. You get a lot of benefits out of it. And it also makes the show keep happening. So if that sounds great to you, you can go to support.tillin.com or tillin.com slash support, uh or just tillin.com and search around until you find the links uh and become a Patreon supporter. really appreciate you doing that. But if not, right back to the episode, right? 22:06 and if you were listening to that on the podcast and you didn't pull over yeah shame. You're not a patriot get out of here. Why don't you keep driving? So this guy by the name of George Frazier, I don't know if I said his name earlier. He's in Disneyland. He's watches this and he says man Cleveland struggling. You know what we need? We need one of these Cleveland needs something like this just to revitalize the city arm. our our rivers on fire 22:35 Our mayor is on fire! 22:39 We, we got to get some lose then we need this. Okay. And so he goes back to his office in Cleveland after the event, he works for United way. He's the marketing director and he calls up that guy. Uh, what did I say his name was? It was some weird term. Treb. He calls Treb. Yeah. And he says, Hey, is this Treb at balloon are by Treb? And he says, Treb it is. And so he talks to me, tells them all about it. And he says, I want to break that record. And he's like, Oh, I just broke the record. 23:09 and he said, well, I need you to break it again and he's like, I like the way you're thinking there, that's pretty good. Nothing better than breaking a record twice. Am I right? ah First place, trebed second place, that's how I like it. 23:30 in the balloon world. They've got flags hanging half mass that say trev on me. 23:41 he's the balloon guy. Can we be a? Can we make a flag? It's a balloon snake and it says don't treb on me treb on me yeah sure. Okay, so we'll hire an artist 24:07 hey, we're not going to iron artist yeah, we're not gonna. It's not going to be a all right. uh I don't like that. I can see how long we've been recording now and now I'm getting anxious about it and I'm like oh, we got to hurry up the flag code for too good podcast flag, go, and you know what sucks is that we're going to get so many YouTube comments. So like these guys know nothing about flag. 24:36 and here's the thing. Here's the thing. If you're watching on YouTube, you should be a listen to me. Listen, we make way more money. I mean guys so much okay for real low positive. We did make a joke about people watching on YouTube and I honestly didn't know we had that many audio list who were who would feel bad. We were joking like you can still listen on yeah, but you should you should listen on audio, because if you're watching right now, 25:00 You're stealing from us, essentially from us. Yeah, that's that's a joke. It doesn't matter. Thanks for if you're reading a transcript of this in Braille. Thanks for being here. I don't know how you're consuming this body, so George calls Turb and he tells him hey, I love what you did for Dixie. Yeah, I think Cleveland needs this and Turb literally needs this turn straight up is like good luck. That was hard and he's like well, I don't need luck. I need you and Turb was like oh, I'm in 25:29 Yeah, nothing gets the balloon guy in more than inflating his ego and so him and turb start to put together this plan. Sure and oh wait, it was trep to him and trep not turp turp. If a trap start put this play together objectively funnier and so uh george is like okay. Well, this is going to take some funding. He works for united way a non-profit organization and so he wants to make this like a big 25:59 like publicity stunt. uh And so like something to like kind of bring the excitement back to Cleveland. This is 86 now. And so some things have happened like Cleveland is not what it was in the 70s. United Way, along with the local government, has been cleaning up the city. Like the bombs aren't going off anymore. The river's not burning. Some of the factories have opened back up or they've replaced those jobs that were lost. And so like the city's doing better. They revitalized the downtown and it's not the problem that it was. 26:28 before that I've only been to Cleveland a couple times. Yeah. What you think it was for? I love Columbus. Columbus is a cool vibe yeah. I don't think I spent enough time in Cleveland Cincinnati was okay. Cincinnati was very the way that Kansas City used to be Kansas City, probably you know early twenty tens yeah that first half of the ten was very like this part of town school don't go here. Yep, this part of town school not like don't go here, but it's like there's nothing there or it is like 26:58 don't park your car there and leave it yeah attended yeah like not dangerous by any means, but it was just like segregated like here's a here's an area that business is happening and then it's just dead zones around. Here's an area. That's what Cincinnati kind of felt like yeah yeah is Cleveland. No, that's what I mean. That's what Cincinnati just felt like I Cleveland also felt a little bit like that. I guess, but yeah anyway, yeah, I'm a big fan of Ohio. I do like I've never been 27:26 But I do think it looks like a great city. From me scrolling around on Google Maps. You want to do a weekend getaway to Cleveland? I honestly genuinely would love that. 27:40 is the worst step up I've ever seen. Yeah, it was you because you kept your way over here. I got caught on you with God on this. All right, anyways, we can wear those shirts that have like you know, like the drawing of the bikini body on it. Just walk around Cleveland, Cleveland with our 28:05 with our cleavage. Is that where they got the name? I don't think so funny right? I don't know. Did you tell the story? I'm just joking, so he goes and he tells us together a group of the like top like brass of Cleveland, like government people, business owners and he's like guys. I've got an idea to release some balloons yeah yeah and he's like he's like I need some funding for this. How much does that cost? 28:35 I mean, I don't know you figured what ten cents a balloon five cents a balloon. How much were balloons in in the eighties? I know with inflation. Oh no, I set it up and he fell for it. What an idiot. I don't know. I don't know how much it cost. I would guess that they probably I mean today if this happened today, I would say this is a multi million dollar event. Yeah, course from like the infrastructure of it. Maybe the cost of blue itself, but also the labor of putting the heal in the 29:03 Yeah and then just like putting the event rib in my garages, putting together security for it. You need security for our balloons. Yeah, okay, so darts Adam. You never know like you you got to be. You got to be prepared. Okay, so he goes to these people and he kind of puts together his pitch and everybody was like seemed a little ah and someone says this sounds all well and great, but like what does this do for cleveland? A lot of people weren't seeing the bigger picture and he musters up this kind of pitch out of 29:33 nowhere where he's like, he's like, I think that if we can bring Clevelanders together, people from all walks of life, people from all spiritual backgrounds, people to work together from the East side to the West side, from black and white and Hispanic, we can make the impossible possible. And we can show to the world and we can show to Cleveland that Cleveland is great. And the, the, the board essentially that he put together was like, you know what? 30:03 that is the best little pitch we've ever heard and I'm just the eighties because they're like let's do it. I kid you not. That is like a direct quote. Everything I just said from him in an interview. He said that yeah they said that that was the best little pitch we've ever heard and so they signed off on a little pit. I know it's the word little in there. You know the best little bit I heard you know what 30:25 This guy's adorable. Let this weird guy do his balloons. Yeah, this seems like an opportunity to launder some money through it. So just let him do the balloon thing. Jack it up. A couple million dollars. We'll get some money cleaned through this. So they put together some funding for it. They still needed to put together their, what's the word, ah volunteer army. And so what they do you need to do this? ah Well, they figured, ah and I did see it another interview, Trev said, 30:55 If I was doing this by myself, I could put this together a lot quicker. But if we were using volunteers, most volunteers probably gonna do two to three balloons a minute, inflate two to three balloons a minute. He said, I could do way more, but I can't do a million, more than a million balloons by myself. And so I need volunteers to help. And so two to three balloons a minute, we need a few thousand people to help put this together. And so they set their sights on 2 million balloons. Disney did 1 million. They said, we wanna do 2 million. We wanna blow that record out of the water. 31:24 by one upping it one million upping it yeah and so they went around to local schools and they started doing assemblies and they were like how cool would it be if there was like a lot of balloons in Cleveland and the kids really and the kids these are high schoolers in the eighties yeah these are high these are grade school to high school okay so high school assemblies in the eighties so hey what do you guys think about filling up balloons and they're like 31:54 yeah, do whatever you want. You know they're they're cool. They're way too cool for this. They got the puffy hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're way too cool for their like they're smoking in class so much in school. They actually their schools was separate. A lot of people don't know this, but school had smoking and non smoking section. Yeah, when you get there in kindergarten, you want to be in the smoking class or not, we're in class. Yeah, put me in his wrong last and it's like why I get to choose no thanks. I quit a choice. I quit. I quit years ago. 32:24 So he goes to the school and he shows them all the balloons he's done. Yeah. So he shows them the Olympics. He shows them Disney. He shows all these big events that he did the Super Bowl. Like he's done all these big events to balloons and he's like, you can do one of these if you volunteer to help us for Balloon Fest 86. All I need you to do is show up at 3 a.m. and help me inflate 2 million balloons and 3 a.m. Yeah. And so he puts together this army of volunteers, mostly kids. 32:53 but a lot of like, mean, most, most of these kids, their parents came out, full family came out to inflate balloons, but it became this thing where it was like, there was a lot of buzz around it. It was like, we're coming together as a city to break a world record. Guinness book of world records is going to be there. They got a bunch of corporations to jump on. So Coca-Cola sponsored book of world records related to Guinness, beer. Yes, actually. And it's kind of interesting. I've thought about doing an episode, but there wasn't enough. So I can tell you right now, Guinness in the late 18 hundreds was like everybody's constantly in bars. 33:22 like just telling these crazy stories, but we have no way to verify if they're true or not. And so Guinness, the beer family said, what if we put together a group to verify these stories? And so they did. And so the world record book was if people tell a crazy story, call us and we're going to go verify it and put it in the book. And so then they started having the book at their bar and like the original Guinness like distillery or not distillery, a brewery. And then it caught fire and now it's all over the place. 33:52 And that's where it came from. Wow. Because of bar stories. We'll cut that out. 34:00 of it. I'm choking. That is super interesting. Yeah. So get his book of world records is going to be there. Coca-Cola sponsoring the event. Taco bell jumped on Taco Bell's like we'll make the longest burrito ever made to 34:11 like we'll also break. What is the company's trying to freaking jump on stuff to will also break? They've always been doing that. How do we do? We're gonna be here. We're also making a super long also breaking a record to the burritos super long. We can break records also and you're like why? Okay, what does that? We just want to bring Cleveland together. We also want to bring clear also around the eighty nine cent cheesy gordita crunch. What? 34:38 What are you talking about right now? Still a base, still a taco. What does that have nothing to do with baseball? Baseball season's over. Sorry, we're sorry. We're just trying to steal a steal a balloon, steal a talk. was trying to be relevant. What is trying to relevant? You can't forget about us. Don't forget about us. Dude, companies have always been so thirsty for attention. That's crazy. So this became this huge thing. They're like the kid who's like my mom will buy us alcohol. If you guys come over 35:02 and they're like what's like. don't want any worth seven yeah it's eighty seven. Well actually would your mom buy a cigarette smoking is smoking is cool. 35:16 so they start planning for this event. Yeah and okay, try picking a school assemblies with balloons. So have I told you about the guy who came to our school? No, we had the guy from the world's strongest man competitions. You know, man, cut where they flip cars over. This guy was still pretty jacked, but his that he was he held the records for whatever was strongest lungs and he would come do the anti smoking speech at our school and he could bowl up those long balloons. 35:43 yeah with his like just his mouth yeah, which is impressive. Yeah, is it impressive enough to do a forty five minutes school assembly over them where you're like? No, it doesn't happen that fast. It's very okay. I could do that then let's be honest. I can do that and then like he's not super talented at making balloon animal stuff. Yeah, he does the thing and he goes. If you don't smoke 36:10 you can do this too. Oh, so he's just an average guy. Yeah, I don't think you let's we'll get balloons for the next. I was do that for sure. got a hundred percent. I'm trying to do it I have good lungs. Yeah, I've got good lungs to Tim. Yeah, wait to see these lungs boy. Don't look at me like that. Who thinks? Who do you think has the better lungs? Leave it in the comments now. So Treb Treb is says he says hey, uh 36:39 when we did a million balloons at Disney, what we did is we had a thousand of these bags and you can see it and it was a thousand bags of a thousand yeah and so we had a thousand people that ripped open these bags and then we had the million balloons in the air and he said with two million balloons. I don't think this is feasible because that's two thousand people holding up 37:01 bags of a thousand balloons. And he said, I just don't think we can get that many people into the square in Cleveland where they were going to do it. It was too tight. And so to also be releasing and ripping up balloons, they just didn't think it was realistic. So they got a group of engineers together to build an enclosure. Oh my God. was they had this big, huge square in downtown Cleveland and they built this frame and then attached nets to the frame. 37:27 and they said okay, everyone's going to sit under there. They're going to put the balloons together and flight them and just release them into the net and so day of the event rolls around, which is what day nineteen 37:42 September twenty seven, nineteen eighty six, September twenty seven. Yeah, I should say right before September twenty six, nineteen eighty six. They're all in Cleveland, ready for this big event. The city's. What are you in town for? I want to put a bunch of balloons up balloons, loons, excuse me, loons, loons. I call them that for short balloon takes too much to say. 38:06 You would know if you were in the industry, you get it. I want a week long punk. You're too weak. You've been smoking. Haven't you? Yeah, I could tell so so number twenty six traps in his in his hotel. Okay, and a microbe. think it about a microburst comes through town. Big storm causes a ton of damage throughout the city. Sixty mile an hour winds just kind of out of the blue. Oh, they knew there was going to be a storm. They didn't know it's going to be the severe of a storm. 38:36 And it actually damages some of the netting. so they're very concerned about whether or not this event can really happen. They're looking at the forecast. It looks like there's a chance it'll rain the next day. But the organizers are like, well, we really want this to go on. George comes to Treb and he says, hey, look, one of our nets is damaged. But he said, but I think our crew can handle this. And so he says, why don't you just go to bed? And he said, we're going to take care of the nets. We'll see you in the morning. 39:05 George and the construction crew, they go out there, they're out, they pull an all nighter repairing the nets. Okay. They get everything put together. There's one edge of one of the nets. That's a little wonky finicky, but they said we can, we, think we can still release everything. That's just going to stay attached because originally the plan was the nets were all going to be removed. Sure. And then it was going to release when the time came to release them. They're like, we can just leave this one section of the balloons, but there is a little bit of a little bit of nerves because there's the chance of a storm the next day. 39:36 Hey, thanks for listening to things I learned last night. It would do us a huge favor if you could just share this episode with somebody or just share the show. Tell someone you like it. That helps us grow the show. Another way to help us grow the show is to support our merch, which is actually super comfy. We changed to a new merch supplier a couple of years ago called fourth wall. You can buy our stuff at shop.tillin.com. None of this is a pressure by the way, but it just really does help us grow the show and it helps, you know, get the word out and people ask me about my hoodie in the airport all the time. So they're really comfy. Would love for you to support the show. 40:06 And either way, thanks for being here. We're glad that we get to do this podcast. 40:14 next day they wake up 3 a.m. and thousands of kids and their families are in downtown Cleveland already, three o'clock in the morning, ready to put together these balloons. And they tell the story of this event because all these people were putting together these balloons and they're putting together and tying thousands of balloons. And I got to the point where you looked around this weird enclosure that they built and everybody had like their fingers all taped up because they were like, 40:42 cutting their fingers from tying so many balloons. And so everybody had these weird like duct tape ties around their fingers to like protect their fingers from how many balloons they were tying all day. um So there's this army of reverse fingerless gloves uh all around this enclosure. And by early afternoon, uh the public square in Cleveland looked like this. um Oh my gosh. 41:08 because they're and you can kind of see in this. So you're tying the balloon, just kind of letting it go to get up to the net. Yeah. And it was just the net was catching it. You can kind of see everyone's just sitting at a table and on the table there's all these helium tanks and the families are just sitting there tying balloons all day, just kind of chit chat and gossiping, tying balloons and releasing them and filling up this giant net in the middle of the public square of downtown Cleveland. OK. um And as the day goes on, it looks cool. It looks pretty neat. Like it looks this looks like. 41:37 uh The Skittles jar or not the Skittles jar this the the sprinkles jar. Yeah cold stone uh and so as the day goes on uh They start to kind of hear okay. Hey look that storm is starting to head in We need to start to be prepared to launch early because there's a chance we got to get this out of here right or things go south Because we can't launch all these balloons in like a middle of a storm uh And so they're kind of I don't want to say rushing but they're kind of there's this idea that they're like kind of racing against the clock a little bit 42:07 They're putting these things together. And as they're getting close to the end, the finish line, uh they end up uh realizing the net just keeps getting caught on all the bolts for the frame that they had put together. And so they're sitting there and they're like, I don't know if this is actually going to actually release because it's catching these bolts. so Treb says, you know what? I think I know what we can do. And so he goes into the hotel and he just starts rounding up plastic trash cans from the hotel. 42:36 And then he starts cutting up the trash cans and just building little enclosures for all the bolts. And so that way it would just slide around the plastic and wouldn't have anything to catch on. so there's like a lot of a lot of quick things, small little things, little details. And then finally, they are they get news from the National Weather Service that, hey, we do think that the storm is going to come in about an hour early. And they said that's perfect because we're looking out here and we did it. We've got all the balloons we were looking to get. 43:05 at this point they had they had lowered their sites to one point five million. I don't think they had enough volunteers to get to two but they still clear the record yeah by five hundred thousand and so they said everybody's just kind of hanging out. We're in party mode. We're just waiting for the release and so they said why don't we just release early at this point. There are two hundred thousand people in downtown Cleveland. They said that the attendance to this event was the only thing in the entire twentieth century that rivaled it was the end of World War Two. uh 43:34 And so there was, this was a big deal for Cleveland. It was packed. Everybody's excited for this. And so then they said, okay, it's time to go. And they pulled the releases and the net starts to open up and swell out. And so the way this worked is I believe all these balloons were like acting as like almost tie down the big ones. They released them and then they started to lift the net up and 1.5 million balloons lifted up. 44:03 and spread across the skyline. This is not as good of this from the news helicopter. Yeah. And just enveloped downtown Cleveland uh and covered the entire city. That's pretty cool. And it's really cool if you watch the video because people, this was one of the wildest things anybody had ever seen in their life. The George, the guy who did it, I watched an interview. He said, he described it like a uh atom bomb of joy, which it does kind of look. 44:32 That's cool. It's not, it's probably insensitive to call it that. 44:40 ah But things didn't stay joyful for long ah because that storm did end up coming through. And that storm front, what happened is it caused a lot. What they expected is, and what normally happens in these balloon releases is the balloons go up and then they kind of go in the atmosphere and they disappear. You never have to think about them again. That is what happens to them. What they expected is that most of them are going to pop or deflate and come flood. 45:08 falling back down. It's the eighties. No one cares about pollution yet and so everyone's just like who cares there'll be trash somewhere. People pick it up but not here yeah. We won't have to worry about it. Imagine you're in a town near Cleveland. You have no idea what's going on and all of a sudden you just see a cloud of point five million balloons descending on your day. You don't know their balloons when you see them. Yeah, they're just it's just like a real ad a bomb. You're like we're being attacked. 45:37 it's the cold war era right. Yeah, the eighties yeah, we're all dead, we're done, we're done for okay, so these come crashing back down to earth and yes, they're just balloons, but there's so many of them that it's affecting visibility and there are car accidents all over the city of real who just couldn't see enough and so they were hit and running in other cars and there was crashes happen because the change in pressure in the 46:04 What? What you said because the storm is rolling. Oh yeah, I thought you were talking about the crashes that like no the pressure change. You're like I can't drive anymore. No, the change in atmospheric pressure is yeah forcing the balloons for the balloons back down. Yeah, as they all came down, it continued to go up yeah and they ended up going into Lake Erie and just filling Lake Erie with all these balloons and this ended up being a really big deal because the night before an hour before that microburst came through 46:33 a couple of fishermen went out on Lake Erie to go fishing and the microburst came in that they weren't expecting and then they went missing. And so that day there was a Coast Guard search trying to find these guys and they said in a report they said what most of our searches are is we're going around. We're looking for heads on the water and they and they said how are you going to out what's these as a person and not a balloon. Oh no. So they 47:03 were and to make matters even worse, the airspace around it was so crowded that they had to call in a fly zone because you couldn't fly through all these balloons because they were just kind of getting pushed down. so this ended up becoming this disaster that led to millions of dollars worth of damages and ended up causing lots and lots of injuries. There's a report of a local stable, I guess is the word for it, place where you keep horses. That's a stable. 47:29 Ranch, that's the word. came in and all the balloons spooked the horses because they've never seen balloons and they've also never seen that many balloons at once and they ended up getting injured. uh so the Wikipedia page actually literally says non-fatal injuries, multiple horses ah were injured in the event. then ah those fishermen, ended up later recovering the bodies and the public was blaming the. 47:57 balloons. If the balloons weren't there, maybe they could have found them earlier. And so this became this whole scandal and the family of the fishermen, the families of the fishermen came forward. They sued United Way for millions of dollars. The ranchers whose horses were injured sued United Way. The people who were involved in car accidents sued. There's other damage to property all throughout the city that came forward and sued. So United Way expected this to be this big event where a ton of 48:24 uh publicity would come and turn around the bad perception of Cleveland in this era. And it actually soured it even worse and cost them way more. Yeah, because of all the settlements. And so in the year since this has become like this urban legend almost no, it's not a legend because it's true story. Just this big thing that you hear people talk about, how big a failure. Yeah. Balloon Fest 86 was because it was such a big failure. It's kind of like Firefest before Firefest. Sure. 48:54 But here's what's interesting. None of what I just said is true. All of this story of everything that happened, of the million dollars in damage, the injuries, the people dying, all of this stuff isn't true. And it's something that you hear everybody talk about when they talk about Balloonfest86. If you've heard about this before and you're like listening to this episode, like, yeah, I remember hearing about how big of a failure it is. It's not true. What happened is... 49:22 about a decade after Balloonfest 86. Balloonfest happened, went off without a hitch. There was a lot of balloons that fell, that storm did come in, a lot of balloons fell. There was a 10 car pile up on the freeway, but that 10 car pile up was because someone was distracted watching the balloons launch, not because they fell and they got in their way. It was them just seeing it and then crashing. And there was no like major injuries in it. There was damage. There was no major injuries. 49:50 There was a couple of other car accidents that day, all the rest of the car accidents could only be attributed to just like regular causes. Like it wasn't had nothing to do with the balloons. Right. There was all those balloons that fell in the water and there was that search for those those two fishermen. But after the fact and autopsy revealed that they had died long before Balloonfest even happened. And so, yes, it did impact the search, but it wouldn't have mattered if that was there or not. They wouldn't have been able to save those fishermen. What happened was 50:20 somebody and ah we don't know if there was another interview but somebody had interviewed someone who was involved with the planning of balloon fest not george not treb but somebody else on the team at united way for the local paper in um cleveland cleveland and when they recorded for that the paper was called the plane dealer and they did this interview and after the interview ah the person said that 50:49 when they did this interview, they presented everything that happened and they felt like it was an accurate, like from the conversation. Right. And then this article came out and it called it this major disaster and, and told all these stories of all this damage and all these lawsuits and all this stuff. And she's like, that's not what happened in this interview at all. And they said, George ended up calling the paper and was like, Hey, that's a lie. Like half the stuff in this paper is just not true. Right. And so he ended up speaking to the editor and the editor pulled the story. 51:18 And the editor was like, oh, I'm sorry. is done. Yeah. They said there was some stuff that was kind of liberties were taken in the telling of the story that made it sound more extreme than was because what did happen is the family of those fishermen did sue United Way, but they settled outside of court and the United Way, the report was they got sued for millions of dollars and they settled for millions of dollars outside of court. But what really happened is United Way had insurance for this event. They went out and got an insurance policy and they paid just to cover the legal fees of the family. And so it was like a $5,000 settlement outside of court. 51:48 And then again, with the horses, there was a lawsuit for that, but the courts threw it out. And so United Way ended up paying them a few thousand dollars just for to cover their legal fees from that. So they kind of came forward and they were like, that was a big misunderstanding. We're sorry about it. We're going to go ahead and cover your legal fees. they did not get sued. There was not millions of dollars of damages. None of that stuff happened. There was that one car accident uh and then some other around, none of that related. And it all comes back to this one paper. 52:17 and this paper got circulated enough to where there are copies of it that exist out in the world. And then when the internet became such a big thing, somebody found this and then they amplified the story even more on the internet. And now it's so bad to the point where every podcast, every TikTok, every YouTube video, the Wikipedia page talks about this being such a bad event. But if you go and you watch from people who were actually there, people who lived in Cleveland, from the people who organized it, 52:46 from Treb and from the government there, and the Coast Guard, they'll all say none of that is true. They didn't shut down the airspace because there was too many airplanes. They called ahead of the time for the event and they said, hey, we're going to launch this. And so they set up a no-fly zone before the event that was already established. And so there was all this stuff that was made to seem... Misconstrued. Yeah. uh And it just kind of shows how hard it is to know how true a story is. 53:15 because this really is. This really was fire fest before fire fest right and this was the thing, especially on the internet in the early days. The internet was where if you wanted to call something colossal fair, you would it balloon fest because this was a colossal fair, but it wasn't like it was a they did get a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records. They broke the record. Everybody who was there said they had a great time. Nobody acted like it was a bad event. Nobody got injured and there was just a coincidence that those fishermen died the night before and it was yeah, it wasn't. It was a big success. Yeah, 53:44 but it was seen as a failure yeah because somebody misreported on it, but the mayor's hair did catch on fire. Mayor's hair definitely did catch on fire. That's hilarious. 53:56 and so it's crazy because that it's crazy because the goal was to make Cleveland look better and it did for a little bit until Cleveland's own paper sabotaged it wow, which is nuts. So that's balloon fest eighty six a huge success according to us. 54:17 They were. It wasn't bad. It was a good event. Wow. Yeah, I like when you end stories with, by the way, none of that was true. 54:29 that's crazy. I mean how could this be a bad? You know yeah, it does look like it looks like a nuclear bomb of fun. 54:41 they kept those things in a net like Alcatraz. It's all a good time. It's all a good time. I got bombed at balloon fest. That's crazy man. Yeah, that's that's well, I guess the record set. Yeah. And what's crazy. I forgot to mention all these corporations got involved in this to kind of sponsor and put their mark on it. You had Coca-Cola. You had Taco Bell. I mentioned them right. A of people don't know that 55:10 hell sponsored this and they actually had the devil there pulling off hell sponsored by hell. Hey, that's the episode. Please share this with somebody helps our girl grow our show. If you want to listen to other episodes, we did an episode about the balloon boy hoax, which is where a family had their kid in a balloon that was floating over Colorado and it turned out to not be true the whole time. So and then if you want next week's episode right now, it's available to our patreon supporters. Just another way to help grow the show. 55:39 We really do appreciate you being here. We love this podcast. I hope that you enjoy it as well. We'll see you next week.


In 1986, Cleveland made history with a bold and colorful idea. Organizers set out to release more balloons than anyone had ever attempted before. The event, known as Balloonfest 86, promised to unite the city and showcase its spirit on a national stage. What unfolded became one of the most unforgettable spectacles in Cleveland’s history. Why Balloonfest ’86 Happened Cleveland … Read More

His Therapist Took His House | Ike Herschkopf Ep 286

09-09-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of the shags? 00:06 What are you doing right now? 00:11 What are you- What is this? uh 00:18 Hey man, are you just like kidnapping this episode? I've already intro did I would have to do this? Have you ever heard of Joe Nassara? Oh my God, let me Google on real quick. So I hate that I did all this preparation for this for nothing. Oh, I felt bad when you were like I'm down on all these images. Hold on to stuff and I was like all right, that's all way I got it. 00:48 He's wearing a long sleeve. Oh, my teeth with hairy arm, baby. 01:00 Oh yeah, I got Alex to go so that counts things I learned last night. 01:19 Okay, so ah who is this? Jonah Sarah? Is this this guy that you keep telling me to do episodes about? No, this is it. Is this the guy that you keep telling me to do episodes about? No, Jonah Sarah is a journalist. Okay, he's okay. Put your laptop away. Okay, tell me more. Let's get a second here so I can make sure I get my images pulled up. Oh my gosh. Do you have pro presenter? Yeah. Do know how to do? Have you talked to Alex? Do you know how to do this? Oh, oh wow, 01:47 Oh wait, just Jaren know how to do anything is Jaren competent yeah buddy. Oh, don't worry about that crap. Okay, I'm not worrying okay, so what you show me a picture of him again. Let me see him. Let me guess what he does. Yeah. Can you guess what I just told you he does? This is like a journalist. Yeah, so this is this is Joe Yorker 02:14 This is Joe Nasser. He works for he's written for several things. The Esquire, GQ, Fortune, New York Times, right? Close. Did you think he was New York looking? He looks like he works for the New Yorker. He looks a little pretentious is why I'm saying he does look like he is wearing like a light brown suit jacket. He does look like a with a like librarian at a college, not a town library. Exactly like he's got a black vest, a light blue shirt and then this brown suit jacket. None of it matches. Yeah, 02:43 but he cool glasses and he's like in front of like the black screen like this is clear like a public access television and interview yeah thing right. So Jonah Sarah, you know he's written for different things. You typically business power structures kind of uh corruption yeah, so Jonah Sarah is he's a he's a columnist. He's a reporter. He 03:09 uh And by the 2000s, you know, he's respected. He's got a reputation. he's he exposes a lot of stories in the financial and healthcare, that kind of stuff. Right. So he's a successful reporter. So I mean, so this is the story you keep telling me. So he buys a home in the hamptons. Gosh. Right. And you know, I know something really funny about this. Genuinely, I'm not even exaggerating. I queued up that podcast. I was like, okay, I'm going to start this on the way home today. Today, I'm genuine. 03:37 genuinely. I was like on the way home from that's a different story. This is about Joe. The same. This is the story I guess. I guess if we're going to be honest, it's been about three and a half, maybe four years of you telling me to check this out. So I guess maybe it makes sense that you would jump the gun on me a little bit. Three years you think I've been telling you to tell you that story for three years. It's been a while. I don't know if in a while years, but that's a different story. It's been three years. Yeah, 04:03 it's actually been four years, but genuinely I was I not even exaggerate when I say that's what I was going to listen to on the way home from this. is about Joe Sarah. I was going to listen to this on the way home for this shoot and then I was going to because I figure we put out about a month before our next shoot. I was like I was going to open it up with this. I was looking forward to the moment where I do the big reveal. Maybe I'll still do it sure you could because this is about a different topic pretty funny. If you so Sarah buys a house in the Hamptons, he and his wife dawn. They moved to the Hamptons right 04:33 and and they live next to a guy named Isaac Stevens. The mailbox says Isaac Stevens and that guy's name is Ike Herpchkof isn't it yeah, so that's it something different. If you trust me, okay, so maybe I will listen to that other way. Oh sure, that's a different. don't know if I'm going to now the mailbox. I feel a little weird about it mailbox next door says Isaac Stevens and this is like this is a pretty you know the Hamptons are lavish right. This is where rich people name is on the mailbox, name on the house number 05:03 it a rich person thing to do. I mean the Hamptons yeah you got. I mean you know your neighbors, it's kind of like there's it's the side South Hamptons. You know is this this is the two thousands so hard it is when someone asks you what year it is yeah when you're not prepared. I am prepared so prepared what I'm saying though is Isaac Stevens house is like a party house. I'm locked in there's so many parties at this house and not like 05:29 not like rager parties yeah yeah is at this point he's let's see. Let me do the math. He's you know fifties so he's an older guy. saying you're saying these are like are these like these are like I mean dinner parties like Gatsby parties or like I know if like there's valet parking there's 05:49 This isn't like- Cool parties, there's big, it's not like just a back yard barbecue. is like- college parties. Yeah, it's not like ragers, but there's a lot of lavish parties next door and catered and important guests, like celebrities have shown up. Is Joe getting invited? Joe's not getting invited, but he just goes next door. know, and maybe that's kind of where this, he kind of gets this little, you know? And over time, he notices that there's, 06:17 there's a guy in a green polo shirt who works these events right. He notices the guy in a green polo shirt who is always taking out the trash. He's preparing food, he's offering guests drinks and this guy is obviously like a hired help. He's like a caretaker of the house right and so when when Isaac Stevens is not there, this guy is usually there taking care of the property stuff right. So this guy is out there to ruin the hedges. The groundskeeper is 06:47 And Joe goes over and so I said, what time our competition he conversation he goes, hey, you know, I've noticed you for the past couple of years. I've noticed that you, you take really good care of this property and all that. he goes, oh yeah, thanks man. He goes, what's your name? He goes, my name is Marty Markowitz. Okay. He was okay. Uh, in talking with Marty and he casually Marty at this point, Marty is, I'm gonna do the math. Sorry. Um, Marty's 60. 07:13 at this point, where body go to high school. This is this is July of two thousand and ten at this point, so he's lived next door to this house for several years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for almost ten years at this point, right. You ever watch summer house? No, what summer house summer house is this group of like young, hot New York singles at this point they're all married, but they're like and they go. They rent a house in the Hamptons every summer for the whole summer and then every weekend they just go out 07:41 and they stay there for the weekend every weekend and I bring this up for a couple reasons. One, I really like the show and I'm a little embarrassed about it. It's like a you know, it's trash reality, but it's not even trash reality. Like my wife sort of watching freaking love island. Yeah, that's any time I walk in living room, I was like you are filling your mind with crap. This is that is that's genuine. It's like reality. It's like not even like I enjoy some trash reality. I watched the sister wife show. Yeah, I love just dumb. 08:10 That is like, I don't even, I can't, whatever. Yeah, that's rough. This is not like that. This is kind of like a real housewives type show. And there are moments where it's pretty trashy, but there's a lot of it. That's just like, kind of connect with the characters and like you'd like to watch the, now follow some of them on social media, which I feel weird about. But anyways, all that to say, they rent this house in the Hamptons the whole summer. And I mean, they're splitting it like eight ways. And I mean, I guess at this point they got the show now and the show's probably paying for it. um 08:39 but I don't think it was a reason. think they were doing this on their own before uh and it's I don't know. Like I think it's good to do stuff like that. Well, the thing is that I've you and I talked recently about how I don't feel like I've invested in relationships and I watched that and I'm like I'm like man, it'd be nice to have a group of friends that you just go rent a house in the Hamptons with every weekend. I mean we I would move in every weekend, but like after our wedding, especially my birthday trip, we're so fun. 09:04 We were just like, why are we waiting for major events to do stuff like that? Like, for sure, let's just go share an Airbnb for a week. Yeah, a hundred percent. That was great. And I don't know. I loved that whole week and that I just I mean, and the bonus was like I married at the end, you know, but it's like, but like that's fair. Even before it was like, this is I love this. It was super fun. I talked to my counselor about that yesterday and I cried. We don't have to talk about that, but I did the Airbnb for my wedding. Well, you cried about it. Yeah, yeah, we talked about that in the after the fail. 09:34 I'm going to be honest with you. What did you cry? I never played on telling you that, but I here we are. I'll tell you we can talk about the out of the my dream. My hope is so this is this is a real like this is one of those like wow. If everything turned out perfect, this will happen. I think I told you this California's working on legislation that would make it so that companies can't own single family homes. Oh yeah, like so like you can't own a property that's designed to be you know you can own a multi unit property. 10:01 which is actually going to end up turning a lot of homes into multi-unit, which is unfortunate. But one of the taxes they're doing is they're trying to stamp out some of these Airbnb's who are just buying up houses. Because some of these companies own 100 something properties. But if that went through, then that house that we got married at would become available. That would be clutch. And I am just speaking it into existence that my career would take off in a way that would coincide with the passing that law, that that house would become available and then we could buy that. 10:30 You'll be able to move in and finally get the raccoon out of those vents. It's down there. anyways, what I'm saying is it makes me jealous every time I watch the show. like, I know I can't feasibly rent an Airbnb every weekend with my friends in the Hamptons. It's not even an Airbnb. Yeah, but dude, that stuff, it's manufactured to do that. Like those people get to hang out with each other because they don't have other obligations. Like that's the whole thing about like the homesteading and the uh tradwife content is that it's subsidized. 11:00 by a high income. Also when they're making money from social media, that's interesting. mean, they're all making money off social media. They're all making money off the show. Of course, if you show like my wife, the TragWife content where she's just at home and she's making sourdough today and her... It's also several of them have nannies. Come on. ah But it's pitching like a, yeah, my life would be great if I didn't have... 11:24 obligations and stuff to work and I didn't have to go make money to pay bills. Yeah, of course life would be great and I could just hang out with my friends all day yeah yeah and that's what they're selling you. I mean that I think that's the thing with the people on this show is they're making like ten thousand an episode. Yeah, they also all have careers in New York City, which are probably paying pretty well and they're also all influencers right, so they're all making a lot of money, so it's like and so the parties though are they ragers that we're saying like the summer house is it a rager of them are ragers. Not all of them are ragers like 11:54 I would honestly like, yeah, some of them are ragers, some of them aren't. But anyway, the point I'm trying to make is like I see that and like this, that TV series that you watch that you're like, it's not very good, but it's like kind of interesting. They go on vacation every year with their friends for like 50 years, like every quarter with their friends, for like whatever it was, like 50 years. I watched that and I'm like, I feel like for the last 10 years since I graduated college, really, I haven't really invested in relationships and I see this stuff and I'm like, it would be like, it's not hard. 12:24 to just get people together a couple times a year to do something fun. It is hard. You're right. I just don't want you to think that it's like oh, it's not hard to do that. It is hard right. Actually, you're right. You know yeah, you're right. Anyway, so it's I mean like how many times have you and I tried to hang out outside the podcast? Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it is tough to do and that's okay. Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. You know yeah, but also this is what I've been telling my wife. We need to invite more people over just to hang out at our house. We don't have anywhere to go with our friends. That's like 12:53 not spending a hundred dollars. That is true. That is true. So anyway, yeah, tell me about these rangers in the Hamptons Rangers, ragers, ragers. I was like, what are you talking about? The Rangers? Well, they're not ragers either. They're lavish parties right there and they're pretty often almost every weekend during the summer. There's parties and all this stuff right and this is summer house. Yeah, well and Marty Markowitz is on the property most of time taking care of the stuff he's he's 13:18 cleaning up after all the parties, he's keeping all the trash, he's going around serving guests and all this stuff, while Isaac Stevens is mingling and doing the whole stuff, right? And so, um Isaac... Has he met Isaac Stevens? Yes. Joe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe has met Isaac Stevens before. And so he says to Marty, he says, well, that's a beautiful property. mean, uh it's really great. Do you have pictures of the property? Yeah. Yeah, I want to see it. um 13:47 The interesting thing about the Hamptons is like every house in the Hamptons is like six hundred million dollars. That's an exaggeration, but it really is like every house is like tens of millions of dollars and some are hundreds of millions of dollars, which is bananas. So this is the house that we're talking about. Okay, yeah, it's a I think it's a beautiful lot of sunlight, lots of thing, you know, is not what I pictured at all. Yeah, I love the atrium of top like that that sunroom. Honestly, that looks just like the top of 14:17 Was it rigs out of angel windies? Oh yeah, he put a windies on the second floor of his house. Yeah, that's pretty cool. So this is the house. It's a pretty, you know, lot of big windows, big pool in the backyard. Yeah and so there's a lot of stuff to take care of around the property. This is a picture of Marty, by the way. That's what Marty looks like. Okay, so you now what I pictured, but yeah, this is him older. Obviously, is he holding a lawsuit? I don't know what he's holding. This is just a picture I found of him. I think he's the background. That is his. I don't know who that is. That party, his sister, 14:47 uh okay, there's a gong. Is that a gong up there like a gong says marty ah just a normal kind of guy like you know, an assuming kind of guy, and if you saw this guy in the Hamptons, you would honestly you know, because he looks like this yeah. You know he's he doesn't present himself as like a rich kind of guy or is the guy who cleans the property. This is the guy who takes he's the caretaker of the property yes and he he I do want to make abundantly clear to our audience. 15:13 that he has his laptop on his table and he's got it on one of those Mountie thingies. I feel like that tells you right there how old he is. That's very So that's Marty. And so Joe says to Marty, he says, you know, I love this house. Isaac's done pretty well for himself. And Marty says to Joe, oh, actually this is my house. And Joe says, what do you mean? And so Marty says, let me tell you a story. 15:43 So we got to rewind back to Marty's life. So Marty is born into a Jewish family in New York, right? Is Marty a psychologist? Marty's not a psychologist, no. His parents run a successful fabric business called Associated Fabrics Corporation. And Marty has an older sister named Phyllis. um Marty's shy, he's an obedient, good kid, conflict-averse, doesn't try to do a whole lot of stuff, very avoids confrontation. His father's, you 16:13 emotionally harsh, of like a, you know, foreboding kind of father and his mother's distant and you kind of, um, you're shaking your legs. Like you're very anxious right now. I'm so anxious right now. Uh, I just, don't know what to do with my legs. I don't know what to do with my legs. I don't know what to do. Just sit still buddy. Okay. So, you know, they run this fabric store in New York. It's a, um, they're, they're a normal family. They're going to small business. 16:41 So Marty's around the business a lot. So it's one of those things where you know if you're starting a business and you have your two kids, they're kind of more in the way than they're not in the way. And so Marty kind of grows up. Wait, how old are the kids? I mean, this is his entire childhood. Okay, right. So he's born in the fifties. No, no, no. He's born in the forties. I don't actually know what year he's born. That's fine, ah but anyway, so we get to his. What I'm saying is 17:07 The family dynamic is the family, his father's very focused on the business. And his mother is very distant, critical, especially about his weight and decisions. And Marty grows up feeling kind like an afterthought, maybe useful but not loved by his family. So in his late 30s, Marty's now running the family business. And in 1980, he is 38. 17:36 in nine so did his parents retire or they dead? I was just getting very say they both died within six months apart. Harp so that is that is really tough on him. Well, like was it like one of them died and then the other one was like a broken heart or was it like they both died? Did they have natural causes? I yeah they got. I mean it doesn't they weren't like murder or something, but yeah they both of his parents recently died. I'm sketched out about Marty. I'm not going to lie that you think he did it 18:05 think he did it. With fabrics? I think there is something. So inherits the estate and he actually becomes the sole owner. He has an older sister, but he's the sole owner of the company. Okay. Okay. The company is passed down to him. I'm not a hundred percent sure what his sister got, but he gets the fabrics company. So now he runs Associated Fabrics. And it's like, like they did well. Like, or is it like they good? I mean, they do everything from home curtains and like fabrics for chairs to a theater buying that giant curtain. You know? Okay. Yeah. 18:34 Like, and they're in New York, they're selling. yeah, big theater. Yeah, it's a business. It's a thriving business, right? But this, his parents dying kind of puts him in a little bit of a funk, because now he's the sole owner. He's making the decisions. And like you said, his mom, when he's growing up, of really put a lot of pressure on him for his inability to make decisions. So he actually starts having frequent panic attacks. So during some of these meetings or difficult conversations at work, 19:03 like he would avoid answering the phone. Clients would come in and he would legitimately go hide in the is Isaac a psychologist, Isaac Stevens, yeah, it's Isaac I curbs, go this no. What is your deal? You're trying to figure stuff out. I was so skeptical about this story. Oh Marty 19:25 he's like negotiating contract. He goes because so overwhelmed that he literally hides behind a curtain in his office right. His employees are losing confidence in him anyway, so he tell he's literally hot of the his employees come in. They're like Marni and he's he's back there just he's clear like you know when you see a kid hiding behind a curtain you're going to you know and you're like oh come in there like Marty. What would you do though parties out here? What would you do if you walked in your boss's office and they were doing that though you just go 19:55 Okay, yeah, that's a good question. I don't know how you respond to that. You tell the rest of the office for sure. You got to go look at Marty's office real quick. Everyone go knock on his door today. Everyone take a look at there. Just see yeah yeah, it's a ground level office. He's overwhelmed at work is what I mean. Yes, me too and you too and so he confides in his sister Phyllis and he says he feels like he's shrinking inside like he feels. This doesn't own the 20:23 Phyllis is not involved with the fabric company. She's not involved. But she's rich. Yeah, mean, she got a push of inheritance as well. it's fine, right? So she sees her brother spiraling, she feels terrible about this. And so she suggests to him that he should see a psychiatrist. 20:44 So she gives him the contact for their rabbi who refers him to a really young, energetic Manhattan psychiatrist named Dr. Isaac Hershkopf. 20:56 I thought it was Ike. It is Ike is short for Isaac. Is it really the mailbox really does say Isaac Stevens, though, and we'll get to that interesting, but I knew that would throw you. I knew that would bury it a little bit. It does so I still listen to this a little. This is I curse. You really should go listen to the because we'll get to we'll get to the whole thing. We'll get to the whole thing. So Ike Herskoff is a psychiatrist and so Marty makes his appointment reluctantly and he's like. I don't think anyone can fix was wrong with me, but he calls the number anyway yeah right now we're in nineteen eighty one. 21:24 I already is thirty and this was this is an important, an important note about the eighties is people were very skeptical of psychiatrists back then yeah like it was weird. I mean honestly until like the late twenty tens like it was almost kind of taboo to see a psychiatrist or a counselor of any way yeah. mean mental health itself was kind of like you know. I think there was there was this idea that a psychiatrist was going to drug you up and then you would just like not be yourself. 21:53 and and more than that, there was the idea of like what what can talking about your feelings do for real, but like for real yeah yeah yeah. So he goes into his appointment with dr eich herschkopf. Now this is dr eich in his office with all of his degree honestly love him. This guy gosh I'm so I'm not going to lie. He does ooze charisma to be honest. There is something about and I don't know a way to say this without me sounding so weird, but I had some friends like this 22:22 whose dads were like this. And there's something about the early 2000s, mid 2000s, those dads who wore the oversized polos and had just the hairiest arms. ah And like, you just can't help but respect them. I don't know what it is about that. 22:39 but you just see those here. You push the arts sticking out of those sleeves that are way too long and you're just like that guy. You keep going back. is someone I should know you should keep talking. So rich. I don't know what it is. uh Is there something I could do to make my arms bushier? I respect that guy 23:06 so I don't know if you can tell the audio listener, but he doesn't have hairy arms and apparently for Tim, that's like that's a sign of respect. That's a big 23:14 so he is wearing a large polo. This is eighty one. This is nineteen eighty one. Holy cow! This guy's ahead of the times. I expect even more in his office. He's a typical. You know he's got several degrees up on the wall behind him and books everywhere and so honestly running suspicious number of degrees. I'm not yeah like yeah several degrees up there. Yeah, he is a legitimate psychiatrist. My parents had that picture to actually is it of the doctor's office? I well, I'm going to be honest now that I say that a lot. don't know if my parents have that picture, but I know that picture. I don't maybe my parents 23:44 isn't it somebody I know had that picture of that kid looking at that thing real close yeah interesting. So um yeah, he's a legitimate psychiatrist is real, so he's like a real real doctor, cool, cool, cool, great. So this is doctor I with his really hairy arms and so Marty shows up to Ike's office on Park Avenue. Okay, and he's he walks in. He's impressed with all the you know all the diplomas and and and he was wearing well tailored suit that day. 24:13 okay, I was wearing a well. So she couldn't even see the R C didn't know you have to see him, but I exudes a level of confidence and maybe that role is to see arms that are that I who's like waiting back in the chair and just with his arms that unkempt with a polo that doesn't fit yeah, but he still just exudes confidence. You're like you look pretty rough right now, but like I trust you because you're so confident you there's like two types of rich people. So there's some rich people who do like you know by 24:41 very brand name clothes and buy a bunch of jewelry and do like and then there's the rich people who literally just it looks like they do not care yeah yeah. I saw I was in the I was in Lax couple weeks ago and I saw a homeless person inside Lax and I was like how did you get through security? That's crazy and then I realized that it's actually Ethan Hawk who's Ethan. He's an actor m so yeah it's like I think the level of rich that's like who says that who 25:11 Cuban, Cuban said, Mark Cuban says that he says, he says, got to earn the right to not have to care. Yeah. And so, so that level of confidence that Ike is giving off is that he's like, I don't care. Yeah. You know? And so I, I sits behind his desk and he's not taking any notes while Marty's talking. And so Marty, I like that when a server comes, they don't have to take notes to just, I'll remember that actually makes me super nervous. It makes me so nervous that I want to see my server, write it down. 25:39 But he says, tell me what's going on, man. What do you feel like you're, why do you feel like you're not enough? And so the initial sessions are twice a week for 45 minutes. Yeah. Right. Normal, maybe, you know, getting a session, yeah, yeah, yeah, Or kind of stuff. Right. And then I quickly begins to redefine Marty's internal narrative. And he's starting to, to read what Marty is saying and give language to it. But this is not a normal, healthy thing a psychiatrist would do. He starts to tell Marty things like your family didn't love you. 26:09 So this is, this is the 1985 middle class families worst fear about therapists. They're like, yes, he is someone who was doing what they were actually afraid of. Yes. That he's telling him like your family didn't love you. Like when they did that, that that wasn't love. They didn't love you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they used you. Yeah. And he's saying things like you were emotionally abused. Yeah. And 26:34 you never actually made a decision for yourself, which do you know? Do you think was true and he was like coming to light with it? Or do think he was being abuse? I think there's elements of that that could be true. mean like, but it's all that's catastrophic language. You never made a decision for yourself. That stuff that I help like a normal good psychiatrist. Now a psychologist like a counselor would help you not like 27:01 would go, not all of your decisions have been somebody else's. But that's the stuff he started to say. And it's like, my parents loved me. Did they do an ideal upbringing, even when they made these decisions that were selfish for sure, but is their own selfishness and the things that they're dealing with mean that they don't love me? The answer is yes. But that's what a psychologist should help you de-catastro- 27:31 size catastrophize, catastrophize. That's what I couldn't figure out how to instead of ramping you up there, right? And that's what that's what Ike was doing. And so by the third week, Ike invites Marty to go on a walk after one of the sessions interesting. And so he says the fresh air is going to help him allowed 27:52 Okay, great areas. Nice. And that walk turns into lunch the next week and then the next week it's a movie and then a dinner and Ike starts these 45 minutes. It has great arms. These 45 minutes twice a week. So 90 minutes of therapy. Yeah. Slowly turn into six or seven hours per week. So these outings are 28:20 three hours, twice a week, four hours and it's he by paying the bill is yeah, Ike paying the bill. No Marty Marty is paying for these sessions. Marty's paying for six or seven hours of time and then is he also paying for the movie tickets and the dinner? Yes, so Ike is already yikes. He's kind of playing him. Yes, and these are turning from these are phone calls. These are office sessions. Obviously weekend walks help with errands. 28:50 And then like long late night conversations in Ike's apartment. he's coming over. this unique to Marty or does he have a lot of clients he's doing this with? um Does he have other clients? It doesn't seem like it at this point. that's lot of time. And so Ike tells him stuff like if we're going to rewire the way you see yourself, we can't just talk in circles in an office. Like this is your rehabilitation. We need total immersion. Right? And Marty trusts him completely. 29:17 He tells Phyllis this guy's changed my life. Because Marty does see some immediate, and here's what I think happens. Marty finally has somebody like anybody who is invested in caring about him. That's all he needed. Marty was lonely. Does Phyllis know? Well, he tells Phyllis that this guy's changed my life. And that's what I'm saying is that he does see some benefits because he has somebody, because just talking it out is helping. aah And so Phyllis, here's what's happening. She's a little skeptical. She's just kind of like, 29:47 you're spending more time with your shrink than you are at work or with your staff. And Marty says, no, no, no. says, it's okay, I got another job. You want to come try our sandwiches? It's the yellow belly. Marty says something that cues Phyllis off a little bit because he says he's like a big brother to me. And that was the first time that Phyllis was kind of like, that's a weird thing to say, right? And so Phyllis is starting to be a little more pressure on Marty and being like, hey, this is weird. This isn't normal. This is a lot of time with your counselor. And so Marty tells that to Ike. 30:17 and says, Phyllis keeps objecting to us spending time together. we should kill her. Well, he says to him, like, I guess, like, hey, you go for a walk. And Marty says, no, my sister actually plans something. She actually doesn't know if we should do that. And so Ike starts to say things like, your sister is resenting your success right now. Interesting. She's mad you're successful right now. She's losing control of you and that's making her upset. 30:44 He starts planting those kind of things. And so he encourages Marty to revisit childhood memories and then reframes them. so he's always, this is where he's not taking physical notes, but Ike is taking notes on the stories that Marty's giving him. Marty's telling him a story about Phyllis and then Ike will use this and say, don't you remember when she told on you? That wasn't protection. That was sabotage. She wasn't protecting you from the bad thing you were getting ready to do. She was sabotaging you from succeeding. 31:13 He's starting to reframe all those kind of myths. So he's starting to plant seeds to slowly draw Marty away from his sister, right? Which is the only family Maria has left, right? And so Marty, who has always seen Phyllis as his only ally, starts to doubt her intentions a little bit, right? Marty is doubting his sister's Marty is starting to be like, maybe I can write about this, right? And Ike pushes Marty, ultimately. much money is he spending? 31:40 I don't have an exact figure for this time frame because this is 1981 when they first started seeing each other. This process is slow. each other. When he first started seeing I know what you mean. And between 1982 and 1985 is when Ike, so for over three years, Ike is kind of slowly separating Marty from his sister. long con. Holy cow. Ultimately in 1985, Ike convinces Marty that he needs to disown his sister. 32:10 Not just personally. He needs to cut her out, because she is getting some money from the business, even though she's not an owner. um he, ah Marty writes a letter that is dictated by Ike. So Ike is saying, write this down. so he's like Paul in prison. Yes, I'm in prison and I got bit by a snake. 32:35 but he accuses her of manipulation, stealing money from their apparent estate and of emotional abuse. The letter is cold and it starts, it starts and ends. Sorry, it ends with I no longer consider you my sister. Loof. Yikes. And so Marty prints it out on Associated Fabric's letterhead and mails it certified. Phyllis is devastated. She tries to call me, but Marty won't answer the phone. That sucks. Yeah. 33:03 And what's tough is he doesn't open up an opportunity for her to have a conversation. He's just like, this is it. Well, that's pretty big red flag. I do think like, dude, there's so many people on the Internet who complain right now. We're like, oh, I'm getting cut off from my family. But in some cases, sure, that's unhealthy. Not the right thing to do. Most times that happens, it's usually not out of nowhere. And it's usually someone saying, here's the reason that I'm going to do this. Usually there's been 33:33 some conversations before then and like here's the expectation is respected. Here's what I'm willing to be treated with. Here's what I'm not going to be treated like those kind of things. This is not that this is kind of like for Phyllis. This is Marty choosing Ike over her. Yeah, I mean has she has there been conversations or is this out of the blues? Is the first time she's well she's been trying to tell him that Ike is a red flag. Yeah, you know so but she's not relenting on the pressure and I think that's where but Ike gets 34:01 he tells Marty to not just figuratively cut her out of life. Yeah, he needs to go through as many pictures as he can find and cut her out of these pictures shoot and uh put that picture of their house back up picture of the house. Yeah, I actually have a different. I actually have a good picture. This is uh yes. What this is the right one. There we go. This is their house. This is the Hamptons house. This isn't their house when they're yeah. This is the house he buys later. Okay, okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you want to see about it? 34:31 Well, was going to ask you about that other picture with the people in it that aren't in it anymore in the picture, the same picture that the people, oh, did I actually click that one? Yeah, did they, did they, did he, did he cut them out of it? That was, that's, that's a later picture. Okay, this is later. um This is, this is during this time. This is a picture of uh Marty here on the right and Dr Ike on the left shirtless. 34:53 first. In some reason, okay, I'm going to be honest. You the chest hair of Ike, huh, like dude, Ike is friggin. I love his chest hair. I've got a view. Wow, I do doctor, right? I do. What are you a police officer? Because you're hot. I do have a few hands up. Don't shoot. Oh no, a few things to say of this picture. Great point number one. If you look at this picture, 35:19 he his arms are so much less hairy than they were in the other picture. I don't know what happened, but they're not very in the picture yeah, you could I also think look at his chest here is kind of wet a little bit like I think he's been in the well he's been in the pool. I think yeah, maybe more that arm here probably true, but this green polo. can't say for sure is if you look at his sleeves yeah, his got the same tan line like he's wearing a polish in that long pole. I do still respect that also, but this green polo that Marty's wearing in this hat 35:48 like this. He looks like a groundskeeper he does, and this is the stuff that he would wear around the house. You know, care of the house and this is did he dress like that before? Is this something that I know yeah, like you should look like a groundskeeper. I think this would be better if you started to look like a janitor. No, you know, it's just this sense of style. This is just him and I don't know what year this photo is, but this is this is this looks to be probably eighties like maybe mid eighties around the time that Phyllis is getting cut out yeah. 36:15 I would probably would guess nineties, but I could see eighties, maybe nineties. He does. I does very much look like that you're staying the night at your friend's house and you walk into the kitchen in the middle of the dad's just like ads in their drink beer and he's like oh sorry that you guys were asleep and they like grabs a shirt that's nearby and puts it on real quick and and then he's like he's like I'm gonna have to how often this happened to you. I knew a lot of your friends dad was just like oh sorry, oh sorry. 36:43 and you were like that's what peak masculinity looks like a friend. I need to if I can't grow my arm hair, I'm going to tattoo it on. I had a friend look at his back here. You can literally kind of see above his shoulder. It's going roll up there a little bit. No, I had a friend. had a friend growing up. uh His parents were were they were doing fine and uh and by like I don't mean like their relationship was doing fine. I mean the relationship they're fine. They're financially more than fine. 37:09 He was a smoker. He wasn't allowed to smoke in the house. He smoked in the garage. And I remember very clearly they kept all of their like beverages in the garage fridge. And I remember being over there. It was like the second or third time that I went to their house. And I remember going out there and grabbing a drink and walking past him while he's smoking uh and walk back, walking back in the house, only talked to him like once or twice in my life. And he's sitting there. I will never forget this moment. This is a great moment in my life. 37:39 and he says smug as old sitting on the garage stairs. He sees me. I'm probably a fourth grade. He says so Tim, huh? I'm like yeah and he's like that's enough an awesome name great moment for me. It's an awesome rate moment for me and I said thanks and I went inside and then later you find out it was Tim and he's like I was like tip right. 38:07 I don't like that name. I don't like that name anymore. name. 38:14 He didn't have very much hair on his arms, though I will say that for sure. Maybe that's why I think smoking is cool because of that because of that moment. Another adult is this what I'm saying is that it is important for young men to have other adult men who speak into them who respect and like doesn't matter how much your dad is like Tim T. I'm proud of you. I love you yeah having it. You remember a moment where another guy other yeah and that's what I can't wait to steer your child off a cliff. 38:44 you know, I be like hey, you know what's cool robbing your family and moving to Mexico. Hey, that's really cool. That's really cool. uh 39:05 The way you're doing that seems like you've never done this before. 39:15 Hey, join us on Patreon. If you want this to be ad free and also the we there's tons of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim like we really look. It's like a virtual just hang out room and we play games together. We talk. We have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode. Tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 39:49 Okay, so anyway, so he cuts phyllis out and I actually got the you're wrong. This is is 1982. This is like a year into his counseling. Oh shoot, that's because phyllis out okay, dang um and so in and he's and actually marty starts telling his co workers because they're kind of like hey phyllis, what is he? He the fabric place. Yes, the fire place. He kind of starts. Let me understand here. Is this a small town fabric shop or is this like new? They work well. Yeah, I know it's new york, but like is it local only or do they work with like the nation? 40:18 not what the they ship around. It's a big. It's a big. It's a big business. They're making enough money. This isn't just like they walk into the store and they're like I need some fabrics. This is like this is like a big business. have more ring ring. I need a bunch of fat. Yes, there it's a very big business and and he starts telling his coworkers and his fan other family members that Phyllis has serious psychological issues and that his therapist suggested a total boundary and there's no one who's like oh yeah, Ike is behind this. You know 40:46 and so everybody else who knows her is like I can see it. Maybe you know, I don't know okay, okay, and so but it's also one those things where it's like the more she fights. It's it's you know, how do you yeah and especially to like you're in that situation. I'm sure it's maddening, especially if you're getting cut out. Financially, your only sibling, like your parents both died. It probably does drive two years a little crazy like you probably do kind of out a little bit. You're being gaslit and all of a sudden you're kind of like you kind of come across as crazy. Yeah, yeah, you know 41:14 um and so so that's a that's eighty two. Ike starts um showing up to associated fabrics meetings just to observe how Marty's behaving at work. You know and he kind of pitches it like well you know you can tell me how you are work, but I kind of want to I want to want to observe you at your job yeah and at first he's just he's just kind of in the background, which would be super weird. 41:39 if your counselor just sat in this chair. It was like you talking about general time. You tell me how mean Jaron is to you during the podcast, but I kind of wanted to see it. Well, you can watch it on YouTube. No, you know I need to see it. I need to say, and so like if he was just chilling, yeah, she was your counselor. She oh there you go. 41:59 Ah. 42:02 mommy issues. Oh, I just need another woman in my life to help me, help me guide myself. The writers, you know who doesn't need counseling alpha men, but it would be weird. Yeah, so now I just in the corner at the meetings yeah and he's you know and he's doing this for several weeks and then eventually he's kind of like going like hey, I've got a thought like on sale strategy. Something that's not about is Ike is kind of 42:31 piping up during some of these meetings and and going like well, what do we like? What if we did this on customer retention or like leadership stuff and everybody's just like let him talk, yes, I'm not going to lie. Even my boss's therapist is in the room in a meeting and my boss's therapist says something. My response is not talk. My response is shut up shrink like I do that every time he talks guarantee you go shut up shrink every single time because what hilarious 42:57 suit disrespectful also hilarious, but if he's only been if he but I forgot his arms. Never mind, I'm the you're taking account how hairy this guy's arms are this guy is like I I everything I say I'm like hey, let me put the same the polo falls down as I see too big. He's wearing a long sleep on may Mith arm. m 43:23 let me lost my teeth with that hairy arm baby. Oh yeah, I got Alex to go, so that counts, but I mean it's kind of like it's like, but this has been several weeks he's been there. It's not like day one he's like I got a thought he's been there for always and he's also not standing up like the moment the intern finally finds their voice, but he's also not he's also not being like what do know he's not like 43:51 oh he's not standing in front of the room being like we should do this. You guys should do this. Yeah, just going like they're kind of talking amongst the teams like does anybody have any ideas and then I can the back goes well. What if you guys did this outside observer can you remember I guess a lot of charisma I guess very nice lot of degrees you know because he can just be like hey you know this is not my place but I just got a thought yeah. What if you guys did this and you can take it or leave it. I don't work here but look what and that if someone did that you'd be a shut up shrink. Is that what you're saying 44:20 I mean, it depends if I could see those things in meetings for several weeks. Yeah, I mean, it depends on this. I guess it depends on the person like it depends on how the thing like there's I think there's a lot of variables to what's going on. I think my gut reaction probably is to shut up shrink, but show me those arms. Maybe I'll let you show me those arms. That sounds like an HR violation, but so then Marty in an Ike Ike's in the office with Marty. 44:49 And so now he's observed a lot of the work relationships. So he's starting to give a lot of feedback on the specific work relationships. everybody? Yeah. So Marty is writing internal memos and, you know, proposals for this kind of stuff. And so he's starting to help him rewrite those. And I said, well, here's what you should say. Here's how you could say that better. I think if you say that you come across as insecure. if you said this... his like little chat GPT. Kind of. 45:19 and his own is a little pocket paper clip to be like. Can I help? Can I help out here, but he even starts like your sister hates you. You should set up boundary so I could stop for clippy. It seems like you should get your sister out of your life. Do you want to right click cut on Phyllis move to trash to track? So but he's so now Ike is writing some of these proposals 45:47 on behalf of him because he sees it stressing him out and this is what I'm saying is that this is I for you. That is Ike's motive. Okay, Ike's or his is M. O. Is it he goes his mode of operation? If you let's go to a movie, I'll write this for you. I'll write this for you. He even starts reprimanding employees on Marty's behalf. See, that's the moment I say shut up shrink for sure right. See your therapist starts reprimanding me. I reprimand him, but then he can just fire you, not the shrink 46:17 the shrink has no power, but doesn't he? I mean it does seem like he's gaining some power and a lot of influence, which is power, but because that shrink for as long as I can well, a couple of people stood up and when they went to Marty and they said hey, this guy doesn't have any authority here. Yeah, he don't see they said work. They said and I quote shut up shrink uh 46:43 so I says that person is challenging your authority yeah there because they're because they don't know that I wrote this memo. They're responding to you that way yeah they're challenging your authority you and Marty says no he's worked here for a long time. He says you should fire him or your week and Marty fires. Yeah you call you call a man weak. You know 47:03 And Marty's sitting on the mouse every night going home, putting Rogaine on his arms, trying to get those hairy arms, right? He's actually taking fabric home from the fabric store and pulling little fibers off of it and gluing it to his arms. 47:17 Yeah. So, Ike eventually, because he's doing all this business stuff, convinces Marty to introduce him as when, because like, it's weird if you go meet new clients or clients who've bought fabrics before and your counselor's there. Yeah, this is just my therapist. Right. So Ike says, Ike says that's awkward and weird. Honestly, honestly, bro, can we start doing that? This is my therapist. our business meetings? my therapist. Sorry, he's just here this is my therapist. He's just here to observe. 47:51 Well, so he tells him that's awkward. Just Sam, I'm your business partner. So he starts introducing me as a business partner. And so Ike on his own starts attending trade shows and using by himself and he's using Marty's name to build credibility in this business circle because he's like, oh, I'm a strategic arm of the company. So that's what I'm saying. I'm trying to paint a picture like this is what Ike does. He's very good at that kind of stuff. And so ah Marty starts to sound like 48:21 like have we ever seen anybody who starts to idolize somebody so much that they take on their mannerisms and they start to sound like them. That's what's starting to happen, do and speak and say things they're same way. Yes, yes, yes, like they just do have a start to their wives can't really tell them apart. They say they just start to idolize them to the point where they start to they start to talk like the way that they talk and you know, I'm saying 48:49 Yeah, and it's just like why are you, why are you batting in this chair? Well, this is what my hero does. Just like at work, he started to say like I'm not going to engage with sabotage today or like you know, at lunch with coworkers like I'm redefining the ecosystem of my you heard somebody who's like you know, just saying stupid 49:12 stuff, right? Yeah, good for you for finding your truth or whatever, but shut up. He starts to introduce Ike to his friends as this is Ike, my therapist, my business consultant and my best friend all rolled into one. And so Marty's fully bought in to Ike's thing, right? Now every major life decision that Marty is making runs through Ike. Not just business stuff. This is whether or not to attend a family wedding, because Phil's might be there. 49:42 Oh right, or what color to paint his office, which brand of wine to serve at a client dinner like every decision is running through Ike at this point and so Marty begins to just standing here trimming his hedges, telling Joe all of this. Is this where we're at right now in the story? 49:59 Yes, okay, he's telling Joe I'm trying to picture like he's like he's like yeah and then so then I'm sorry he's I'm running all my decision. They could have made a movie where it's like almost like a forest gump where he's like just telling it just cuts back to him being like was. This is a quote from him. He says sometimes I'll say something. This is what he started to tell his friends because he couldn't because Marty's brain he's he's struggling to identify his own desires and his thoughts apart from Ikes, okay, because it's so invasive. 50:25 that he says. Sometimes I'll say something and I realize I don't know if it's my thought or Ike's and so but that could just cut to him being the yeah. Yeah, sometimes I can't even tell my own thoughts apart from Ike's and then Joe's just standing there in his backyard like I didn't and like and he's Joe's in this pad and he's like I'm actually going to take notes on everything you're saying right now because I'm going to write something about this because this is crazy. How do you accidentally stumble into this right? That's crazy and we're still this is still only this is only the first two years still this is 50:55 very early in, right? And so um Ike reinforces it by being like, oh my gosh, yeah, so your thoughts are realigned. Like you're finally becoming the man you always wanted to be, right? And so Marty begins um taking on administrative tasks for Ike. And Ike frames this as, if you can't do the administrative acts for yourself, maybe you can do them for me and that will build your confidence. Like you're part of something, right? And so he starts organizing his appointments and 51:25 tying up notes from his lectures and mailing, mailing letters to publishers and potential clients, you know, patients. And I keep saying, helping me helps you. You're learning agents. Yeah. Right. This, this feels like 51:43 I've tried not to name names here, but this feels like I don't know James River Leadership College, maybe well, because like and that's because because Marty's just doing this busy work and like Ike is writing a book and writing a book by hand by the way, which is a psycho behavior thing to do that is absolutely so he's writing in the eighties, not before people didn't they you know anyway, so he's writing this book and so then Marty's taking his handwritten notes and then he's typing them, you know, 52:12 And Marty's grateful for this stuff, because Marty thinks this is helping. But that's exactly what Marty's just like, I'll get to clean toilets for the Lord. I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm getting to I'm getting my leadership degree. And I get to pay to do it. Anyway, it's accredited through Evangel. But I mean, he ends up spending more time working directly for Ike than he does for his own company. 52:39 And Ike continues to push this narrative in Marty's head. And so in 1984, Ike begins to float this idea in some therapy sessions that Marty needs to be giving himself to something bigger. He needs to be building his legacy, right? Marty actually, part of the reason Marty's overwhelmed is that Marty has more money than he needs. ah Which is a crazy thing to say, but he says you've never... 53:07 you've done anything truly meaningful with it. You know now that I think about it. If you're watching this, I think you have more money than you need and you should report us. You should report us on page. You have too much money and you I love so much. I don't care about the joke. I was making any more. You should report us on page. You should report us on patron. Get us banned 53:36 Don't do that. We could not pay for this place if you do that. mean, Marty has enough money that he could do the monster truck tier. Because again, the fabrics business is really successful. But here's the thing about the fabrics business is that his parents built it. Yeah, wasn't him. Yeah, that's hard for your confidence. You are living on your parents' value. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So that's daddy's BMW, not yours. Isaac. Isaac. 54:07 Ike says you should start the Yaren foundation Yaren Hebrew word that means to sing with joy. I thought when you did this, you were trying to point to a logo you were put on screen and I sat there for a really long time being like, is he going to put that? No, it's the Aaron foundation. Okay, okay, sing with joy. Okay, it's my name. 54:33 Okay, okay, okay, is spelled, Jer, spelled with a Y, but it's the that where jaren comes from yeah, interesting. I never guess that so it's Y A R O N and that's what my name means to sing with joy. So fun times, so he convinces him to the year in foundation and the Aaron Foundation is a way for Marty to heal from his emotional trauma. He's going to transform his grief into philanthropy and 55:01 Bonus, Ike is going to go in with him. So it's not just Marty starting this. Ike wants to be part of this foundation. He wants to be the director of the foundation. So he is the co-founder and executive advisor of the Yaron Foundation. Dr. Ike is. Marty puts in $165,000 and Ike contributes $5,000. Fair. Which Ike insures is equal. That does sound equal to me too. 55:28 Ike says, that's the same percentage of my income as it is yours. Oh, that's fair. That's a good point. So that's how Ike... partners? That's how he sets it up, yes. Oh, They are doing this foundation together. in almost immediately... And you keep saying foundation. Is this a charity? This is a charity, and it's used the way that all charities are, which is to boost Ike's reputation. company! 55:57 I mean in a way yes, okay, because so they're starting to host events that are under the Yaron Foundation name, but it's really just a way of getting rich people to give to the foundation, but it's getting rich people to be in an event where Mike starts taking pictures with or Ike. Sorry, Ike Mike. I did it again. Ike starts taking pictures because Ike loves being important. Yeah, right. Me too. He likes being around. So here's Ike with Gwyneth Paltrow. 56:26 I oh my God, I can't even recognize her there right right, but he likes to brush shoulders with celebrities and here's another one. I don't remember who this is, but maybe you'll know who this celebrity is just two dudes who are not problematic at all. It's OJ Simpson for listeners glasses. 56:48 dude. I are you in love with her? I encourage coffee because every every picture I put of I come here. It's something else. The first picture it's like I love his arms and then it's like he's sure listen. You're like oh man, like he's got that tan line, so he does a polo. He looks confident here and then it's like dude. Look at his glasses. He just seems like you think I curse cop is hot. What is your deal dude? 57:19 Do you want to kiss I curse God? All I'm gonna say is if you're listening, you should watch this episode. 57:30 you guys don't understand how I see how Marty fell for look at his eyes. He's so dreamy m 57:39 I mean, but for real, those are cool glasses. Oh my gosh dog. So anyway, I uses this is a way to tell you his public image and and and I would too though yeah, but this is this is Ike's way of you know, kind of mudding the finances a little bit right. Okay, Ike begins asking things about Marty's bank accounts. He's saying so if something were to happen to you, 58:07 Who would manage these assets? have a phyllis anymore. Straight up. He's like, who do you trust that would... goes, don't even have a will, do you? family, you don't have kids. Marty, it's reckless that you don't have a will. That is a little reckless. We should make you a will. You know, it is kind of reckless that you don't have a will. Now that I think about it, you sing with joy and stuff and all, and that's great, but like, I mean, if you think about it, it's kind of reckless. Like, what are you going to do? Give it to Reagan? My wife? 58:37 Oh no, you're right. No, so Ike convinces Marty. Okay. Marty has a Swiss bank account for some reason. Okay. That Ike is a cosigner on this account. Wait, he has a Swiss bank account? Yeah, with hundreds of thousands of dollars in it. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, here's the thing. I think Marty had some financial planners. Marty, Marty, know, Marty's parents set him up well. Like he's got other bank accounts. He's got, uh can you me a picture of Marty again? Yep. 59:07 ah this is Marty. This is them together. This is Marty at the time this is happening and Marty wasn't allowed to be involved in the business when he was a kid. He was kind of involved. Do you think Marty was doing crime? No, I think his parents. Here's what I think. You want to know what I think? Sure, I think that New York, well, what would have been like forties, fifties, sixties. I think that certain people potentially angry Italians 59:36 showed up to Marty's parents and said I need a large piece of fabric that won't leak. You why is everything this? Why is everything like it's the mafia? I think the mafia we want to get to wrapped up bodies. I don't need you giving more ammo for people to come after you. Okay, you're right. I okay fine kind hearted, wonderful people, the Italians angry 01:00:04 But so what I'm saying is like he's a co-signer on his bank accounts now. Yeah. Including a bank account that has hundreds of thousands of dollars that is like an offshore account. Like he's got, he's got different investments, different places. Now Ike is a co-signer on all of these accounts. He has named him as the executive of his estate and his last will and testament. Like, he gave him the power of attorney. So if something happens to Marty, Ike is now the one who makes these decisions. Right? That's crazy. And this is all within a couple of years of this happens. 01:00:34 Like it doesn't take long for him to do this. know, Ike has near total financial control and he can access Marty's money. He can make legal decisions on his behalf. He can override family members if it came down to that. Right. And Marty Marty believes that this is a safeguard. Marty actually one of his friends was like, hey man, this is a little sketchy. And Marty goes, no, no, no, I trust Ike more than anyone because he knows me better than I know myself. Right. 01:01:01 I'm still a stressed right now. Here's some rumors about this yeah. She does and she's deeply alarm. She sends a letter asking Marty to reconsider having him on his and I think intercepts the letter of course he does and tells Marty. Your sister wrote you a letter yeah and I don't think you should read it. How did he intercept the letter because it is he's involved and he's probably checking Marty's mail every day day. That's a federal offense. 01:01:31 Oh yeah, opposed to everything else that oh whoa, whoa, he's looking at his his mail. That's crossing the line, but he tells, he tells Marty, your sister just wants the money. You're doing the right thing by keeping distance. Right. And so Mar Marty at this point is fully enmeshed in Ike's world. Right. And 01:01:55 Ike starts calling Marty odd hours, with hour and hours of the night with work requests. Like, hey, I had an idea for a book chapter, can you come over and type it before I forget? Kind of stuff. It's almost like when you keep people exhausted, you know? And it forms a bonding chemical in you that's like, oh my gosh. Isn't it crazy that your baby's just Stockholm syndrome? But for the next few years, Marty types over a dozen manuscripts for Ike, over like mental health, self-health guides, memoirs. 01:02:23 a fictional novel about a revolutionary therapist that closely mirrors Ike. Wait, we revolutionary like the revolutionary war. No uh yeah, I is like let's write a like I was right a fiction piece about a therapist during the revolutionary war. That's great. Don't worry George. I'll make you feel better about this. 01:02:46 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your lord and savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 01:03:15 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 01:03:43 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 01:04:07 Did you hear it? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 01:04:21 and then you're going to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 01:04:31 I don't want to be. I hate skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too. Bring you leave all this in that 01:04:45 And anyway, so Marty's doing a lot for Ike and he starts introducing him not as a therapist, but he's my partner in my emotional recovery. Marty is introducing Ike. Ike as that, when he's a partner in emotional recovery. His self-identity is now so merged with Ike's world view that he no longer, he doesn't make any big decisions. He really did, like Ike put out the prophecy of you don't make any decisions for yourself. And... 01:05:13 It's almost like when someone tells you, like, hey, here's the problem, you just trust that they're not going to become that same problem. Right? So in 1986, this has only been five years, Marty mentions to Ike that he's thinking of buying a vacation property, you know? And it's the first independent decision he's kind of floated in a while. And Ike hears this and goes, you do need a place that's yours, somewhere to escape the ghosts, all this stuff. So Ike encouraged him. 01:05:43 to look in the Hamptons yeah, because I I've actually been watching this reality show. He goes, I know, man, I've seen that party house that's in and I goes no, no, no, no, like I think you should and I and Marty's like a little hesitant a little bit. He's like oh, it's pricey, it's expensive, but I goes no, no, no, no, you deserve it. This is part of your healing right. So Marty buys a modest house with that large backyard that we see now, right, modest to me. Well, in the Hamptons, this is I mean, this is pretty modest, but you know 01:06:12 I mean you can see the whole house in this picture like that's kind of a go. You know it's a do we know where it is? Can I look it up on Zilla? I'm sure we can find this afterward. We got we got enough to get to right here. We got to get some of those. So Marty buys it. Yeah and ah this is Marty's sanctuary is what it's kind of positioned as and Ike says it's a container for growth a place to redefine your past that's whispering at you and within a month of closing Ike starts 01:06:42 decorating the house without asking because he starts putting his own diplomas in the hallway. Nice. ah He replaces Marty's Marty's art with family photos of the Hirschkopf's and one notable thing is that he moves this giant cow statue. Let's see if I can find a picture of this actually a giant cow statue ah into the backyard because it gives ah it gives fun way it gives 01:07:12 like personality it gives. I can't find it's like there's when whenever I go to Saint Louis, there's this hotel. I always stay at and the hotel has a rooftop pool at the rooftop pool. It overlooks the city, uh beautiful city. It's not oh but overlooking the city is the rooftop pool and is really weird statue of a hippo. 01:07:36 and it doesn't fit the hotel vibe at all. It doesn't fit the pool vibe at all. Yeah, it's just this really big, really weird hippo. Is it like that? Kind of I got a picture of I don't have a picture of it's like it's like I'm fun. I'm quirky. You know, is that what that is? It doesn't or is it or is it like this cow was made by a Byzantine artist? Yeah, something like that. Okay, like it's more of like here. Let me show you picture. Okay, so it's 01:08:06 this is is this exactly what you were describing? No, not at all, because this is they had these cows all over Kansas City. My wife yeah has about sixty pictures because her mom was obsessed with it yeah, and so they used to take pictures when they were kids with these cows all over Kansas City. They had them all over the place and it's got to be the same artist. So this is yeah. This was Ike one of one of these put in the backyard. You know it doesn't it was look similar to this something of this vibe. It looks bad is what it looks like. I'm going to be honest with you, so that's that's you know Ike 01:08:35 put his own personal touches on this house pretty quick is what I'm yeah yikes and honest. If you got someone who's trying to put their personal touches on your house and they buy that and they put in the backyard, you should personal touch them out of your life well. So by the late eighties, so they buy this house eighty six by the late eighties, the summer parties are pretty regular right there, having this lavish parties guests are local philanthropists because the foundation high society new yorkers at least 01:09:01 one appearance from Glen of outro and her family. You know, we want from OJ and the mailbox changed to read what Ike wanted his author name to be, which was Doctor Isaac Stevens, a fake last name that he asked socially so that way no one knew that the fraud he was doing right and Marty is Marty going to these parties. Is he a party boy? Marty is again he's serving guests of these parties. Ike is introducing Marty at these parties as his cousin, 01:09:30 his assistant or his house manager. When people are like, who's that guy over there? He's like, oh, he's my house manager. Because all these people think this is Ike's house. Yeah. Because Ike's putting out the invite, right? And he's framing this to Marty as like, hey, you know, you're overwhelmed. don't want to be the owner. You don't want people to think you own this. Marty's wearing that green button up and he is grilling for the guests. He's cleaning up the lawn afterward. And a guest asked Marty, like, do you live here? He froze. And Marty said that he's just helping out. 01:09:59 and Ike cuts in and goes, he's a real mensch, he's just helping out. Marty begins to disappear into the role of a servant, not host, on his own property. And so anytime Marty expresses interest in friendships or dating even, Ike shuts that down. Ike goes, no, she's after your money, she reminds you of your mother, you're not ready. Keep him isolated. uh One woman Marty dates for a few months is forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement. 01:10:28 that Ike drafted himself. So it's not a real, probably just something that's like I won't tell people or whatever was in the beginning of the relationship or like they broke up it off and then it was like hey, by the way, you need to send this NDA Ike. There was one woman that Marty tried to date that Ike set up a meeting of just those two so he could interview her to tell Marty if it was safe or not and then tell Marty she's not emotionally safe for you. That's such a giant red flag like and then you Marty not sign that paper and not show up to the date. 01:10:58 if that happened, that is an unbelievably. I cannot believe she showed up good night. So in the early two thousands, this is this has been going on for almost two twenty years now right. Okay, over twenty years now yeah. I can courage as Marty to invest in a firm called Bennett funding group yeah, so we Joe talking to Isaac. What's that twenty ten or Marty? Okay, we're almost to the we're almost caught up 01:11:25 He's cutting the hedges and he's like, yeah, and then he had them sign the NDA and yeah. Well, I mean like I guess just cutting off any, any potential threat to his grip, right? Yeah. So Marty invests $1.5 million into the Bennett funding group, right? Yeah. Is that like a large portion of his money or is that? It's a pretty big thing, right? ah But it turns out to be a Ponzi scheme. Nice. And so uh Marty loses all of that money. 01:11:54 course he does, yeah. And he tells Ike that he's panicking, but Ike is like, it's just money, you still have me, you'll be fine, you'll be fine. oh Oh no. And around that same time, Associated Fabrics is failing, Marty's savings are depleted, now he's starting to run out of He's running the company. He's also paying Ike for all these sessions still. For 20 years, Ike has been living off of Marty's life. And he's continuing to pay the property taxes and the upkeep on the Hamptons house, which he barely uses himself, because Ike and his family now, 01:12:24 live there. Full time? right, that's one of their... Is Ike married now? Ike has got two kids. Ugh. um But now, if we're looking at the whole thing, Marty has lost his sister, any romantic prospects, his wealth, control of his home, and he spends hours each week doing unpaid work for Ike. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And in his journal, Marty wrote, I am a character in someone else's story. Yeah, you are. Yeah. Yeah. 01:12:54 So by 2007, Marty is now in his sixties and is after twenty six years of control. Ike has become more erratic, short tempered, domineering. The dynamic has shifted from passive manipulation to overt control. Marty is living in the guest room in his own Hampton's house, right, because he doesn't want to live in the house because I could drop by any time or host parties. Yeah. And so he's still attending therapy multiple times a week. 01:13:23 and completing these errands and doing all this stuff for I and he says 26 years. just feel like my therapist might be abusing me. So there's Mike or Mike goodness. You can call him Mike. They're a player. Marty wants to buy a flat screen TV and Ike shoots it down because you don't need that. It's wasteful. That's not what this house is about. It's true. Yeah, that's true. And yeah, because if you buy a with the cost of a TV, you could buy a home. So then Marty goes upstairs. 01:13:53 and realizes that Ike had already had a new one delivered to the master bedroom for himself, a flat screen TV. And this is one moment where- he crack? Does he crack? Does he kill him? For the first time in years, Marty goes, I'm the one paying for everything. Why don't I have a say in this house? There was just a little bit like a, okay. So Marty begins making some small decisions. He buys a new recliner for his New York City apartment. Something that Ike was like, ah, that's- That's the symbol of success. 01:14:22 That's you're going to become lazier be sitting in the chair. You don't have time. You're even at your apartment. You know, he reconnects with a former colleague from that used to work at the fabric for coffee without telling Ike. That's how do, but that's how controlling it was is that this one thing of like, what if I meet up with somebody I used to know for coffee and not tell him? Yeah, that's a little rebellious. Yeah. And he listens to an old voicemail from Phyllis who has not talked to now for twenty seven years. 01:14:51 has not talked to his own sister for 27 years. And Marty Journals, he writes this, he says, what if I've been wrong? I miss my sister. And who am I without him? So in early 2010, Marty's diagnosed with a hernia and he's got to get surgery. This is the breaking point. It's it's minor, you'll be fine. Like just keep me posted, right? So Marty goes in for surgery alone. After when he's recovering in his New York City apartment. 01:15:20 There's no visit, there's no flowers, there's no call, there's no food waiting for him when he gets home. And he's sitting there on this bed recovering from this, I mean, albeit minor surgery. But he's sitting here, if I died on that table, he would have gotten everything. And he wouldn't even call to see if I'm okay afterward. And that was the moment for him where he really started to break. And a couple of months later, this is where he flips. Because Marty, 01:15:51 loses it one night and so hold on. I'm trying to keep track. Is this after that moment where John him are talking and he's cutting the hedges now? Are we passed? No, we're not passed that yet. Okay, so he's still like yeah, and then I stabbed him with the hedge trimmers. No, we're not past that yet. Okay, okay, okay. So this is Marty snaps after this and one night drives out to the Hamptons property, doesn't tell Iquerys going, just drives out to the Hamptons property, goes to the backyard, 01:16:19 digs a gigantic hole in the backyard and kicks that painted cow into the hole in the back and berries this cow. Oh my gosh, I love that and does he tell Ike or does Ike just show up and be like where's the cow? He's like I don't know man. I think no still the cow he buries this cow and in and 01:16:42 he'll say this now. It took him hours like he is dry. believe closer, but he says it was it was exhausting, but it was emotionally cleansing. It was he buried it and one week later, Marty Marty drafts a formal letter to Ike okay, and it reads like one of Ike's own therapy, and he had Ike right help him write it. Yeah, he helped me break up with my there. 01:17:07 It's not you. It's not you. There's another therapist that's got a who's been controlling my life. And it's like, hmm, strange. says, he says in the letter that he's cutting off contact that he that he's revoking Ike's power of attorney. He's removed him from the will and he's terminating him as the executive as a state. Yeah. And the letter ends with this relationship has not been therapeutic. It's been exploitative. Yeah. And Marty mails it and Ike never responds. 01:17:35 So after mailing the letter, Marty reaches out, just calls Phyllis' number. He doesn't even know if it's going to be the same number. He hasn't talked to his sister in almost 30 years. This guy hasn't talked to his sister. 30 years. She answers and he says, I'm sorry, I think I've been in a cult. And that starts the reconciliation. They talked for six hours, they cry, they argue, and Marty starts to show her the journals and the financial records and the photo albums of the parties where he was a butler at his own home. 01:18:05 and she says, we'll fix this. So ah now we're to the point where Phyllis is starting to do the background work of taking these journals and financial records and trying to put this whole thing together. Marty is now at the Hamptons house kind of cleaning stuff up, removing all of Ike's things, and then he runs into the neighbor. And now Marty is... 01:18:27 So Joe is there watching these parties and he's like, this guy throws crazy parties. And he's like, and that butler is cool. And he's like, I'm going to go talk to the butler. Little but known to him is the whole time he's been watching these parties, this story is now cracking. Like this relationship is falling apart in front of his eyes. And he just happens to have the conversation with him like right after this all So talks to the random gardener and the gardener says, my therapist has been controlling my life for almost 30 years. 01:18:54 This is not his house, this is mine. And Joe, as a reporter, is like, say more stuff. He says there's a body buried in the backyard. Oh, I buried a body. ah So Joe starts asking him all these questions. Of course, yeah. And Joe actually starts with the process of helping put together all of these paperwork and all of this stuff. Marty shows him the breakup letter. 01:19:23 Joe stunned, of learns about all this kind of stuff and starts Joe starts seeking out other patients of Dr. I because Marty is not that's been the question the whole time is like theoretically he's doing this with more people, but at the same time he's investing so much time in this. It's like does he how could he have any other clients? Well, there was a widow who says that Ike pushed her to disown her own children. There's a man who was convinced to leave his business to Ike and his will. 01:19:53 uh A family that said their son was encouraged to alienate siblings over therapy breakthroughs. And he uncovers this whole pattern of manipulation through Ike's entire career. This is what he's done to several people. I don't have a full count, but he's done this to more than 10 people, right? Yikes. And uh all under the guise of radical emotional honesty and therapeutic boundaries. And he's just gaining all of this stuff. So Joe contacts the New York Department of Health. 01:20:21 and he learns that complaints require direct patient action. like he can't file a complaint on behalf of Marty. Marty has to be the one who goes and does this. He also learns there's no current complaints that are open on Dr. I Kershkov. And so many of, because all the victims are afraid to speak. mean, like this guy has, it's also embarrassing. It's also really embarrassing to be like, Hey, by the way, I let this guy manipulate me for 30 years. You know? And so in 2012 with Phyllis's help, 01:20:48 Marty gathers all the materials and files a formal complaint with the New York State Department of Health's Office of Professional Medical Conduct, which is a lot to say. Yeah, that's big. But he includes his journals, the financial records, the power of attorney forms, proof of Ike signatures on checks. He's got photos from the parties. He's got statements from friends and former employees. And so this is a multi-year investigation that's now going on with OPMC, right? They're working on this investigation. While that investigation has been happening over, know, this whole like... 01:21:17 In 2019, Joe, the reporter, he releases the article about this. And I forget what's the article called. But he puts out this article about how my therapist has taken over my life, right? And in 2019, they start this podcast called The Shrink Next Door. And then it became a huge hit, right? So he's trimming his hedges. 01:21:46 yes guys listen to his story. He tells him the whole story and he's like we should start a podcast together and he's like and actually we should be business partners and you know it's kind of like possible like what is you don't have anyone to give your will to it's kind of crazy that you haven't thought about this before. Like what are you talking about? Like I don't know man uh 01:22:12 hold on. getting one more image here and he's like he's like he's like. Are you not convinced? Let me show you how cool my arms look how look and he's just got here. He's just taped hair to himself like he's clearly he's like. I know this guy's clearly dug the body up from the backyard and glued his hair to his her fore arms and so I even are man that's head hair. You just that's head hair to your arm. You psycho bath so 01:22:41 Hey in twenty nineteen the podcast comes out. It's a huge hit in twenty twenty one will feral and paul rudd star a pair in the shrink next door will feral playing marty paul rudd playing like dr. Ike Ike Hirsch koff, which I will say he's pulling it off and I don't know paul rudd does he's got the cool glasses. I don't know about his forearms though. Do have a picture of paul rudd's forearms like is it is he see that all right for arms? 01:23:09 I just need to know if like he's kind of he is a Kansas City man. I do know that if there's one thing I know about Kansas City man, they're pretty bald, they're pretty bald, so that's unfortunate. So the this came out in twenty twenty one in April of twenty twenty one. I actually don't remember if this came out first or after, but they never talked since like a since he sent that letter in twenty ten. Yeah, they never saw each other, never talked in April twenty twenty one. 01:23:38 The Department of Health concluded their case and they found Dr. Isaac Hershkov guilty of gross negligence, moral unfitness, exercising undue influence over a patient, violating boundaries between psychiatrist and client, and financial exploitation. His medical license was officially revoked and he's not allowed to do this anymore. Yeah, cool, whatever, but I mean it's been what, like, since the start of this 40 years. So homeboy's retired, who cares? Does he go to jail? 01:24:06 or does he just kind of be like you can't be a therapist? Who cares? I've done. I did it. I did it all. I did it and I also got like nine people's inheritance along. That's I mean like I don't. I know if you to pay all that back. I don't know. go to jail or is he just because honestly like the more I don't think the end of this story, the more I'm kind of like I should be a therapist that you're like. Oh, he got away with it. Yeah, he revoked his license and okay. Here we go. He is 01:24:35 Let's see. um I don't know did Doctor Ike Hershkoff go to jail Ike, her cop punishment. Yeah, what is his doctor? He loses appeal for medical license. Now he's looking all these you know he's doing the appeal to get his psychiatry license back, but I don't know if he yeah. I don't know so the moral of the story, I guess is like take advantage of people 01:25:05 What was he look like now? Show me, show me a her scarf. I tried, I can't find some. don't have a doctor of him. I mean, I guess he's probably in hiding ah yeah. I guess he's like overseas somewhere. I do a picture of Marty. Oh okay, okay, yeah, he's just so ripped. 01:25:27 So freaking yo, this is this is Marty and his sister in front of their house where so Marty now lives in the Hanton's house. He lives in the master bedroom. Yeah. And he obviously has put Markowitz back on the mailbox. Is that his recliner in there that you can see? Yes, I think that's probably the recliner they fought over. But uh 01:25:51 Joe said that he was there when one of the neighbors asked if the doctor still lives here and Marty responded, no, I finally got him out. The doctor's dead. And so he and Phyllis obviously have been rebuilding their relationship. They have weekly phone calls. She visits regularly, staying for long weekends. He sends birthday cards to nieces and extended family. he did actually just this year in 2025, he closed down the fabric store. Oh, interesting. Oh, in 2023, I didn't know this, he started, and I can't believe this, 01:26:21 sort of beekeeping sweet, you know, interesting because he was, know what? I've had someone take control of me. I would like the little village of bees that I can control and I'll do their whole thing and I get angry. I can kill one of them. They have. They have not had interaction. You know, interesting. So dug up the the cow. The cow is still buried in the backyard is like for him. That's part of the honestly 01:26:49 love the. I love the idea that that's not in the sellers disclosure that he probably passes away sometime soon. The house is sold. They forget to disclose that there's a cow buried in the backyard. Yeah, the new owners move in finder doing some landscaping. They're digging. They're like oh, there's something big under here. They keep digging and there's a full cow statue buried in our backyard. So we to call a police 01:27:17 Do we to tell someone one more quick thing when Marty first moved into this house when he first bought it and he planted a tree in the backyard in memory of his parents and Ike was like hey, that's you living the past. Yeah. Hey, I don't like that tree that tree made him tear down the tree. Oh, what a that was also a big breaking point. That sucks. So now when he moved back when he got Ike out, he planted two new oak trees, one for his mom, one for his dad, one for Ike and one for Ike just to remember him. 01:27:45 uh But after the podcast, he doesn't do public interviews. doesn't do, because he said that he all, everything he needs to say. And Joe Nacero concluded his article by saying this, that Marty didn't just escape, he re-emerged. That's a rare thing. Most people never get back what they lost, but Marty, Marty started planting trees. So Marty is living happily out the rest of his life in the Hamptons without Dr. I. Kershkov. Very cool. 01:28:12 So that's a crazy story. I can't wait to find the documentary 15 years from now when you realize what I've done to you. uh 01:28:22 Nice. Oh shoot. One more thing. So there is the cow in the backyard and so that's yeah, I think they have to disclose that if they sell it. um They also have to say like, in the atrium upstairs, just so you know, who awkward there, the devil message to me on Instagram, we formed a relationship. He took control of me for 30 years and then we in the upstairs bedroom had a fiddle off, the fiddle off in the bedroom. 01:29:03 Hey, thanks for being here for this episode of things on the last night. I don't know if you saw Tim have a stroke, but we appreciate you listen to this episode and if you want to let you want more like it, there's another doctor who had some you know, questionable stuff now practice malpractice. Yeah John R Brinkley. We did the episode. This is the guy who thought goat glands were basically a cure for everything and would just insert them inside of people surgically, which it does help you. Actually, if you ever like man, I got a cold shove some 01:29:33 goat glands in your throat. Yeah, yes, so you can go check out that episode and I'm honestly more importantly, please share this with somebody. Please share the show, get that word out. 01:29:44 and and then we'll see you next week on our things on last night. Yeah and if you want to see next week's episode right now, you can do that by becoming a patriot supporter. Our patrons get every episode of ad free a week early. They also get access to a discord with our hosts and producers and our patron supporters get invited to our exclusive Hampton parties. Yes, where you'll be forced to wear green polos and serve our other those that are more important than you. 01:30:09 way more important, like more important and none more important yeah, just healthier and because you were because your family is because your family doesn't party is OJ Simpson impersonators. We have a hundred of J Simpson in Perth, Senators in the backyard of the South Ampens. There are OJ other are. Is this something that people do? uh 01:30:39 in person. Yeah, what's the rate how how much honestly if you become a patron you can help us get a bunch of oj simpson impersonators to a party in the south amtas and you can know that you made that possible. I don't know like what that does for you. You at least see the video with a bunch of impersonators in one place. Yeah, he's finding some he's got an instagram pulled up. That looks just like that's crazy. 01:31:09 It looks like the only guy doing it is a guy named Cuba Gooding Jr. What Cuba Gooding Jr. That sounds like a real like is that an actor. I feel like I've heard that name. He's an OJ Simpson impersonator. Yeah, 01:31:30 out. Yeah, that is an actor. That's a famous actor. His rate is late in a movie. His rates a lot, but we have the same agent yeah, so


When most people think of therapy, they imagine healing, growth, and trust. But the story of Ike Herschkopf and The Shrink Next Door shows how one man used his role as a psychiatrist to manipulate and control a patient’s entire life. A Friendship That Wasn’t In the early 1980s, Marty Markowitz turned to psychiatrist Ike Herschkopf for help. Marty struggled … Read More

He SCAMMED the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC | Lou Pearlman Ep 289

09-02-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Hey, have you ever heard of a Lou Pearlman, Lou Pearlman? Yeah, you want to see him sure is what he looks like. Describe him to their audio listeners. He I mean he looks like Jerry Larry Gary from Parks and Rec. That's technically he looks incredibly just like him. Yeah, he looks like that's yeah yeah. He was a flipped image by the way. It definitely is and honestly, maybe it's not. I don't know honestly looking at it. It does feel like he is 00:29 at Epcot like that's what this kind of feels like or an outdoor mall yeah. That's what I'm saying. That sign in the background for yeah to to lay no way it's a J. Here's another picture of him. Let's see if by this picture you can kind of guess what he does for a living. ah I okay, so okay, here's a thing. Do you recognize anyone in this picture? 00:53 I'm trying right now. I don't think don't unvise a prize. If you would, there's one that there's a chance that you would recognize so for audio listeners, it's our guy Lou in the middle with his arms crossed and he is surrounded by what I assume are boy band members like there's one, two, three, four, there's eight guys that are kind of around him. He's Lou Perlman like a music exec who put like because this looks like these are guys who would be joining 01:22 a band in the nineties band like in sync or back yeah boys and so Lou is just like a manager who's just like uh finding different dudes who want to be famous. This is how these bands form by the way yeah is like. Oh you want to be famous yeah we're to do you and four other guys for other randos and now we're going to make sure that you guys are famous yeah. Is that is that what he does close? He's a youth pastor. This is his youth group uh 01:51 your job is hand on the side though. I just noticed this feels like an AI pick. I know it's not. positive this is not an AI image, but yeah that hand on the far side sitting on the shoulder feels like AI. His fingers are so his fingers are messed up. Okay, that guy's got weird things. Okay, okay. I is he really a youth? No, he's not a youth. That's right. I were to start at the top. I'll do the joke. uh 02:41 Things I learned last night. 02:49 stop every time I tell a day and it's because I you showed up, but you showed up late and then you spent an hour doing something. I've been never making this show possible and it's like hey man and I was like all right, start the episode and you're like he's a youth pat. Let me do it okay. I'll let you do it. Okay, so you listen to you. uh 03:11 so stupid. Okay, now I'll on top of story. Lou Pearlman, that's where we should start this. Yeah, let me start at the top of story. He was born in nineteen fifty four in New York, New York, his I see jokes made ten laughs. Alex got a chuckle out of that. Yeah, we have you listen. It's pretty rare to get Alex to laugh. Honestly, oh he isn't left. He got a little. I know, but even even that in the mic, can you 03:37 Yeah, are you adding that in added in a post there you go every time you think of a joke is good enough for an Alex. I just give us those puffs and post give me a puff and post he was see how you did a dumb joke at the end. You see how you're like do the puff and put the energy today slept in there. I'm well rested. He was so his parents ran a dry cleaning business. He was an only child. He was a card carrying 04:07 uh child practice a car carry child. They were practicing Jews. That's going to be important later sure and he also it was the first cousin of musician art Garfunkel, uh which is also going to be important later, but in his early life he was he had an interesting childhood because he associated himself with all like a wide group of friends, okay, but 04:35 No one really like like he wasn't a popular kid, but he and he had a lot of friends, but a lot of his friends weren't really his friends. You know what I'm saying? Like sure you know, like they weren't good friends is what I'm trying to say, but he had like he knew a lot of people. You know what I'm trying to say? Yeah, and so he at uh oh gosh, middle schoolish age, he got into like his first business venture. Okay, um 05:01 when one of his friends was trying to get out of. was your first business idea in middle school? My first business idea for lockers. Magnets? Interesting. I would buy like a bag of magnets at Walmart or like different little things and I had them in my locker and I'd sell them for 25 cents. Interesting. Because our lockers are metal and people want to decorate them. I don't know what my first business idea was. I filled that need and that's the first part about business is you got to identify the need of your customer. 05:30 give me a little a lower third Robert or whoever's editing this. He doesn't get Robert gets fired between now and then hey, I don't know. It might be me at that point. It goes just put a little lower thirds like point number one, identify the need yeah yeah. My first business. I don't know if the first idea I can remember. I wasn't my first business. That was well. That was the first yeah. My first business 05:58 was I sold invisible ice cream to my neighbors, so I would go door to door in my little my power wheels jeep. This is real. I would go door door and and I would I would knock on the door and I go I have ice cream because I was like I don't know yeah for yeah and five maybe and they would give me a quarter and I would hand them invisible ice cream. 06:18 which was great because like the supply chain never ran out yeah. It's I mean my inventory was a plot and sometimes I would even lie. I would give you to manufacture scarcity. I'd be like I'm out of that today. I'm out of that and so that's that's principle number two man out of that. We have we out of that be out that uh that was that was you know. 06:45 I call this the be out of tudes. Oh my God, 06:51 I don't know what the first business I actually like did, but I do sure I'm pretty confident. The first idea I had was me was a French horn. I was like me. What about a whole like rams around? Yeah, no, but me and my friend Michael, we wanted to start a restaurant and we wanted to call it the to Mikey experience. 07:15 I don't know where we can all businesses start with like good branding on top. It's just like a night because we have a business idea and it's just like what if we did this together? Yeah, we made solar flare media and then after that you just go. Oh crap, we actually do business. So yeah, we have to do stuff and the business stuff sucks. The part is getting a logo and all that. The bad part is everything else about your business. I remember we were ten or eleven, which is point number three. 07:44 start with a logo, start with the logo, happy up top. She's like if you start your own business, yeah, you're never going to be happy again, yeah, and if you need a logo, you could go to solar flare dot com. We don't have dot com. don't have that somebody else's business knows, but yeah, I remember we were ten or eleven. I remember we had a sleep over his oh brought to you by solar flare dot com a competing company. 08:14 my somebody else. It's not a competing company. It's just another company. It's just a different. don't I don't know. Let's find out what solar flared again, but it was like we were tender. We're out of sleep over and I was right now is just like a Jaron and cannot the website's upting Tim the websites down. What happened? That sound did they go on a business? This is like whenever we were single guys in our early twenties and then a girl 08:44 would stop posting pictures of a boyfriend and then she would post like a beach picture where she says I love my girls at the beach and you're just like why are you posting? Why are you? Why is there no guy in there? It's like are you available is such a mess. 08:59 No, so we were like ten or eleven and we were having a sleep. It's my favorite bit that I can get Tim to do you guys. I mean, I know you're really annoyed right now, but it's the fact that Tim has the inability to just pick up a story where he left off. He has to start from the top yeah like so we're like no, no, go back. Listen to the last five. I've done this on purpose. I've done this for you to enjoy this moment. Skip back like hit the minus fifteen or back fifteen like probably six times. Go back a couple minutes. 09:29 and then you hear Tim say so we were like ten or eleven. He can not. He can not just tell the story from there. He has to start over. It's my new favorite bit that I'm going to do in this show is just intentionally interrupting him. It's almost like just being a repeat. So tell your story. 09:51 So we're like 10 or 11 years old. We had to sleep over one night. We stayed up really late. And I'm not kidding when I say we cooked most of the food in my parents' fridge and we didn't know how to cook. That's funny. And we just made a bunch of stuff. The one dish that turned out decent because it didn't really require much knowledge was we call it the happy meal. It was a pizza. We made it was an oven pizza. First of all, like a red bear and oven pizza. And then we made nachos and we put the nachos on top of the pizza. 10:20 and I made that until I was like twenty three. That was like a core piece of my diet and then I and then my heart failed. I was so bad, but I don't know if you go back so good at Tim's in two thousand and thirteen. He looked like because he you know because he had shaved his head like a bowling pin. He looked like Randall from Monsters Inc. Just slimy and pale weird 10:50 You know yeah yeah, that's actually pretty accurate. My skin was weird too. It was close to purple, but anyways he had his first business. Some someone he went to school with ten or eleven yeah. Actually he was ten or eleven and someone he went to school with had a paper route and he was trying to get out of it. He's like I'm tired of this. I'm so tired of this and so he was talking to everyone in his school is I'm trying to get rid of my route. 11:15 I'll give you five hundred or I'll take all give you five hundred to take you five hundred dollars. I was like out a middle schooler is like yeah yeah five hundred dollars could buy me such a big mansion, so he was trying. He was looking for someone to buy it from him. Lou has a paper route. Lou doesn't have a paper route, but someone in this someone in his school has a paper route and he's trying to get out of the game and so he's looking for someone to buy his route off of and so Lou buys it from him for five hundred bucks. 11:44 and he starts doing this paper. Where do you get five hundred dollars? That's a good question. I don't know the answer that maybe his parents from the laundry mat were like will invest in your future. I don't know, but he somehow got five hundred dollars. This is and that's a lot of money. was like kind of deals are these middle schoolers making where it's like okay, here's my paper root. Here's my ebed up like what do you like? I know yeah like what's the multiple on what it's worth? You know he's so much time it takes my asses, my ability of it. You're like what do you like? I think I valued 12:16 Sharks. 12:20 I'm seeking five hundred dollars for a one hundred percent stake in my business. I mean printed media is dying and for that reason I'm out. 12:35 So and honestly, this is the sixty two and so five hundred dollars is a lot of money in the six. That's what I'm saying yeah, buy a full house. You buy seven houses yeah that's how big was this paper route. I don't know, so he buys the paper route. Yeah, he's like hell by first of all for a middle schooler to understand business in a way that's like yeah. I'll buy that off of you. Yeah, I will buy out your paper route. Yeah, okay, yeah, it's crazy. He lied. This is made up 13:04 he gets the paper route. He starts running it and then he realizes hey, I am one person running one paper route. I can only make so much, but he says, but if I can get ten people under me running ten paper routes, I can make a lot more yeah, and so he goes and he starts. I can get ten people. Those people can get ten people. We have every neighborhood in the country within 13:30 How many cycles is it? I think it's like six. It's not a lot. It's not a small. It's very small. It was that what they call the six degrees of separation. That's all completely different thing, though it's not. It's the same concept because your six degrees is separated from anyone in the world, and so if your six degrees separated from in the world, then your six pyramid stacks away from the high in the whole world underneath you. Okay, so uh he's like he's like man. If I could have a whole bunch of people underneath me running 13:58 paper routes I could make a lot more. So he started gobbling up all the local paper routes, going and buying them out. And then he realized, wait a second, everybody in the morning, they read their paper. And then what do they do while they read their paper? 14:12 um ignore the chaos of the family and the kids running around because it was the sixties and so they made the wife take on the majority of the home labor and so the husband's reading the paper in the morning kind of trying to catch up on the news and trying to catch up on the things happening around town while the wife is trying to corral the three kids and she's exhausted and done and actually she can't get out because it's similar to the yellow deli. She's actually her entire financial stability is dependent on this one man who is completely avoiding the entire situation by reading the newspaper so yes and also drinking coffee. 14:41 Oh yeah, that's great. I was going to say smoking cigarettes, but drinking coffee is also true, so he thought that yesterday I pulled in the gas station. It was seven a.m. I'm getting ready to leave to drive up the can. So you can put that on the table. You don't got to drink a floor Celsius. You know that right like you don't have to like hide it. It's not a bush light dude. It's a Celsius man. You're hiding it down here as if you got to take a sip and not be on camera bro. It's it's fine. Imagine if I was just drinking a drink and I had to get a 15:11 push like okay, but the reason I also said that is again back to my story seven a.m. I'm leaving my parents house sorry yeah. Can I tell my story? Yeah, so seven a.m. I my parents. 15:27 so I go to the gas station. Someone's smoking a cigarette. It's seven in the morning and I thought I was like this a little early yeah. You know yeah, I guess I people some people wake up first thing to do well in the sixties. That was the morning routine. You go down to the corner store, you get yourself a paper, a pack of Marlboro Reds, you get yourself a coffee from the gas station coffee 15:47 and then you probably do get a push light and you go home and you do them all at once. That was the other part of my story is I drove and I stopped in Carthage to use the bathroom and I'm I was like oh, I'm gonna get a coke while I'm here at the gas station and I get a coke and I'm standing behind this guy in the line who's like just swaying just looking like kind of like like he's been up all night and he puts a tall boy bush light. That's it is at this point seven forty five in the morning. It is crazy to me. That's and I need to say this 16:16 sad. That's so sad. Yeah, that is you have a problem. That's sad like honestly, honestly, genuinely. If you're buying a single beer from a gas station, you have a problem. That's a problem. Oh, that's true. Anytime of day. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. Like you're buying singles from the gas. That's a problem. That's a problem, but also like make it at least at least not bull. You know what I'm saying? Like splurge a little gets something nice like get 16:43 like that's another deeper level of and I understand it's an addiction and it should be taking serious. That guy probably needs help and I hope he doesn't listen to this podcast. I mean maybe he maybe he does now that he's been arrested for drunk driving at nine a.m. and now he's in prison listen to our son into our show. He's like oh, that was me. He's like I loved you guys and those tablets they gave in jail. One guy counted on YouTube and said he spent twenty seven days in jail and he found us one weekend. So for the last for the last three weeks of his stay, 17:11 He listened to us every night and he fell asleep to our podcast and never once made it to the end of an episode. So that guy spent a full month in jail and has never fiddled off a devil. 17:24 I just thought that's crazy. He doesn't understand the field, because he never made it. He never made it. That's crazy. Okay anyways, so he made a partnership with 17:38 he said. He said how can I make this even more profitable? got a free he hired employees. He hired employees. He's got a group of a bunch of paper routes now and he's got employees running these paper routes that he's paying to run the paper routes and then he went and he made a partnership deal with the local Duncan donuts and so they would go. They would pick up coffees and they would deliver the paper and your coffee every morning to all these people and so he had the most profitable paper route because you got your coffee. You have like six graders riding around on their bike 18:08 throwing a paper and then also throwing a coffee and it was like thanks guys, but also like we have a tray of yeah. They got a tray of coffees and the little drink holders and the running around their sloshing everywhere. Do you want cream on the coffee? That's kind of crazy. Yeah, yeah, they got the backpack full of creamers little creamer packs, sure sugar, Splenda, I don't know Splenda came out yet. 18:34 This is like there's a there's a guy on tick tock that I've seen a couple times who has I wouldn't call it a food truck. It's a food truck yeah, but he rolls up to those construction sites. Have you seen that no he like basically has a body cam on yeah, so he's driving and he rolls up to a construction site, hops out, opens it up, puts his little things in place and like he's got a line of people waiting already like that. comes every day weird and he's like what's up man and then he just does this a hot plate. 18:59 Yeah, I mean it's like it's like little hoagies. He's like oh you want that he's got different little things. It's almost like the you know refrigerated section thing in the middle of quick trip and you pick random stuff, but he's also got like a roller thing. He's got like hot dogs. He's got a couple of like hot sandwiches and he rolls up. They take what they need whatever he's got drinks and the whole interaction he gets through like twelve people in four minutes wow and then and then he and then he gets back in the car and drives off and I watched the whole video every time 19:28 I pops up and I just go well. I guess I haven't watched the whole video. I fall asleep by the end. 19:39 Okay, interesting, interesting. That is interesting, but it's also like the guy. There's a really famous tick talker who is a door dasher on the bike. Yeah, I'm sure you've seen his stuff. He's in our neighborhood really. I think I've seen him. He yeah, he does. He literally just wears a go pro and it's just him riding his bike around Glendale, picking up food. He's having an order for this person and he runs it and it's and his whole thing is no drinks. He doesn't take orders with drinks because he's on a bike. 20:09 because I'll spell so he wouldn't make it in this business. Yeah, this business is a cutthroat business. Yeah, deliver papers and coffee papers and coffee. Yeah, that's what they call it paper coffee. I feel that we're spending a lot of time on this kid's childhood. Well, what we're spending a lot of time on is you interrupting me, so I had to tell a story about my business over and over yeah. So he yes, she is seven a.m. I was leaving my parents. 20:35 This is a really fun to shut up. Tell the story. This is a really fun time because Tim is exhaust. Shut up, tell the story so tired, shut up on the story and then you so tired that I stop. I went over to your house here today to meet your kid or whatever and uh first of all, no kid. There's not a kid there exposed. He said here he is and I didn't see what there was. It was an imaginary friend. It was an imaginary ice cream. He to be I had an imaginary ice cream. I'm not joking. 21:05 when I say the second that like I was watching this kid, Tim and Brie both. I watched them on the couch. We're both laying there and you can see them both just go 21:19 you're responsible for now laying there. His eyes are just like 21:27 you better not die because it be your fault. We're both honestly, so this is a really fun. I was wrapped up in the blanket like this. He really was really like he's just talking to me. It was so comfortable. He's like he's like he's like yeah man. I mean we got to some some conversations about like I was like a man. You know some of our friendships in L. It's kind of hard to to me. He's like yeah, I know it's right kind of tough like this time of life. We're trying to maintain friendships and so it's crazy. 21:56 so he's he's so exhausted that I'm just pushing. I'm trying to push him over yeah work. It won't take much more heck yeah dude. So anyway, Lou Perlman, he's a hustler from the young age. I'm trying to illustrate. He's a young hustler and then he grows up because an adult you know does adult life and the first thing he does is he 22:20 he had a passion for blimps growing up. He was a big blimp boy limp yeah he used to he used to go to the neighborhood blimps and watch him blimps. Okay, well, like York, I guess yeah he's in New York. It's like the sixties like there was the airport blimps would take off and so he would go view the blimping. I don't know what they called it and kind of like you like trains. He liked blimps. He had blimp toys. He looked at blimps. liked blimps. He was a fan and so so he was like I'm going to start a blimp company, so he launches a company called Airship Enterprises 22:51 and he gets himself a blimp. I wish it was easier to break into the railroad industry. Those guys are tough. I've tried and I go to the meeting and they go. No, you can't do it because you don't have capital and I'm like well, please let me be a train owner guy. I just want to be. I want to be a train guy. You know a train, train train, train, train, I got a train brain up here, man, yeah, yeah, so airship enterprises right. 23:17 he starts this company and he approaches a bunch of businesses and ended up getting a deal ain't with a company called Jordan. I think is how you call it not door dash, Jordan, okay, which is a designer gene company. We wouldn't know anything about those sure were poor uh and so he he least uh one of his blips to Jordan so they can put their their logo. How much is a blimp cost in the sixties? You know 23:45 Well, this is now he's an adult. So this is like the seventies. I don't know how much a blimp costs. Give me one second. Well, we can get to a point where we can explain this. And so he leases the blimp so they can put their logo on the side of it. You can fly it around places like people don't let me derail your conversation. You're welcome. And so he hears that there's a thing. He this deal. He's like, yeah, we got a blimp. I'll put your logo on the blimp. We'll fly it around like good deal deal. Here's money. 24:15 and then like let's were excited to see it and then he says all right. I need to go get a blimp now didn't have one. Oh got you yeah, so a little bit of a hustler, a little bit of a ponzi and so he went and got himself a blimp and he put their logo on it and he started flying it around. He's like shoot dude. Somebody just tried to redeem all of my newspaper points for a blimp and I don't have a blimp. 24:41 I need to find a blimp immediately blimp so fast. I need a blimp like yesterday. You could redeem all the newspaper coffee points seven million of them for a blimp. So this was probably the most consequential moment in his business career because he took this blimp out. He got a blimp, put a logo on it first flight, crashed it crashed it hard. Well, okay, so I guess this is what I'm saying to does the cost of advertising on a blimp 25:11 cover the cost of a blimp, ah because like it okay. So traditionally the answer to that question would be no um okay. It's the sort of thing where you would invest in a blimp and then you would run it for years until you recoup the cost of getting the blimp right because the cost of advertising, you know, it doesn't work out and so he got this blimp. He insured it for three million dollars. The blimp was worth twenty thousand 25:37 and so he crashes this blimp on the first flight. Oh fraud. Okay, I see what we're doing now. I fully understand the story, so we're doing fraud. Okay, big fan of that and so crashes the blip his insurance company, susam, because they were like this thing is not worth three million dollars. The second they saw it, they're like that's not a three million dollar blimp and so well it was not now you're right now it's 26:02 broken because it's broken, crashed broken and be three. I agree that right now it's not worth three million dollars, but unfortunately you've signed the paperwork, so they went to court um and at the end of the legal hearing, um Pearlman was awarded two point five million dollars. They were like it's worth two and a half yeah. It's not worth three, but it's worth two to half, which is crazy because he spent twenty grand on it um and so wow now he's a millionaire and he's like. Oh, this is sick. 26:29 Now I can finally do all my business things. Sharks. Golly, dude. And then what in the 60s still? Yeah. 2.5 million in the 60s. 26:45 Well, let's find out. Let's find out. Inflation calculator. oh 26:53 In the early days of this show, we did like affiliate ads where we were like a sign up for grammarly and use code till and and we got like fifteen cents and now we just do patreon. It's a much better way. It's better for us as creators. It's better for you as listeners and it's a much more fun way for us to interact. We do monthly hangouts like on zoom. We just hang out and play games online and and get to know each other. It's a really fun time so 27:20 but still use our code till in at grammerly dot com because I think it's still I might get like a couple cents from that, but join us on patreon because we're having a great time. Yeah, if you don't, we're going to have to start doing mobile game ads. 27:37 four point seven million. Okay, I so you know almost five million dollars and so he a small jump change compared to what I make as a rich person. So he says I think I have exhausted my resources here in New York City. I'm going to move to Florida, so he moves to Orlando, Florida, okay, where he starts another company air shop, air ship international and here what he does is he actually takes the company public on the stock market. 28:06 uh and he sells uh he sells the company. He raises three million dollars in from selling shares on the stock market. He uses that to go buy a blimp uh and he so he actually buys like a legitimate book this time and gets a pretty good lucrative deal gets the Mc blimp, which is awesome. 28:28 McDonald's the McBlimp yeah and they were McDonald's was pretty pumped about this. They were running ads about the McBlimp. They were like look out for the McBlimp all around the country. They just flew this thing around uh yeah. He also got a deal with Met Life and had a Met Life Blimp and he had kind of a I hate the way he looks in his picture just 28:50 I hate that yeah, and so he had a series of blimps that he put together with different businesses. Spoiler alert, they all ended up crashing um 29:03 and so the company were blimp crashes. It's not. I mean there's a famous blimp that crash that was horrific and bad, but since then most blimp crashes aren't like that right. I mean no, but like they usually are like fiery explosions. People die all of them if they're in it. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if I would say all of them. I don't think anyone died in his crashes. I haven't heard what I'm asking and yeah blimp crashes. They all crash 29:32 Yeah, they almost all that's what I'm saying. I don't think that yeah dying in a blimp crash is a big fear. Yeah, I don't I don't know. I don't know, but by the early by ninety one, it's not efficient. Oh well here. Well, I think blimps were thought of before planes. I don't know if that's true, but don't call me it feels like they were would be true, but what I do know they were like what about balloons on top of 30:02 But I do know is that the vision of the blimp was you could load a bunch of people in the passenger part of the blimp and the Empire State Building, the original plans to the Empire State Building, the spire was like a port and so you would tie the blimp to that spire. You'd fly up, tie the blimp to that spire and everyone could get out at the top of the Empire State Building. So the vision was you could have all these buildings with the spires on it, fly right up to the building and get out at the top of the building. It doesn't make any sense. It makes perfect sense except for it never worked. 30:31 yeah. That's what I'm saying. It doesn't make any because if you time to the top, there's like okay sure yeah. Well, why doesn't it make sense? You just it's just like a boat. You just roll up you throw the rope out, pull it in yeah sure sure sure, except for if you misstep you fall from the top of the Empire State Building. It's the same thing in the ocean. You fall into the ocean. It's not the same. You understand that's not the same thing right? 30:55 you understand that's not the same. do understand you understand that's not the same thing. did that you said, but you didn't for a second. I you did where I before a second you were like it was a bit. It was a joke or a second. You were like I did. There was never a second that I didn't understand it, so it is so ninety one by ninety one. He was like it's the same thing. It's a yeah, but you have me. What was the better fall from the of the empires at what do you empire state? Nothing is on as deep as the ocean. That's true. 31:26 the bottom of the ocean is further away. That's a true fact. You got it buddy, so by ninety one he had deals with McDonald's Met Life Sea World. Does he own the Goodyear Blimp? He does not own the Goodyear Blimp. Okay, and why is the Goodyear Blimp the famous one? I think it's maybe the longest running one. I would assume that I think there's only like 15 blints left. Not a lot of them. There's one that looks like a minion for some reason. That's cool. So he 31:56 He by 91, uh he had a lot of different clients, but a lot of different blimp crashes. And so this shares share price had dropped pretty hard. And so at its peak, the share price in his blimp company was six dollars a share. uh By the ninety one, his price was down to three cents per share uh and the company was uh closed. uh So he then says, OK, what am I going to do now? 32:25 and he pivots to starting an airplane company. Okay, and so he uh puts together a fleet of airplanes with the cash that he had a mass from right kind of pumping and dumping the airship business uh and he's he launches trans continental airlines. uh Okay, and so he now is going around and this company 32:52 this isn't an airline like southwest airlines. They're not doing commercial flights. They're doing private flights, yes, and so he is having rich people book flights for chartered jets. Yes, exactly, ah and so he's communicating with a bunch of these different people uh booking flights. Here's an interesting thing about his business transcontinental airlines. They also went public. They also sold stock, had a bunch of investors, had overseas investors, uh had how do how do I put this? 33:22 um a group of investors from New York that were Italian in nature and maybe not nice. Sure, unkind Italians as the mafia in mafia, kind Italian. Yes, the mafia invests every Italian 33:48 this mafia invests in this business. He has a whole arc in the sopranos about how people are racist against Italians and that gives them the like they're like to be the mafia. No, but they're like we can hate black people because people are raises to a talent and you're it's part of the it's part of the arc that's on arc in it like that's not just a thing that they say wants multiple seasons. They're like by the way we don't like black people and it's because other people don't like us. That's kind of what it felt like yeah. So I was saying rough 34:17 So he launches this company, the airline company, okay, book in private flights and transcontinental big airline though. Eventually, I think you're thinking of TWA. No, I maybe I'm thinking of continental maybe yeah, maybe continental. This isn't. This never was a big airline okay, um and it's emphasized by the fact that he and his paperwork that he disclosed to investors um and his public marketing had three jets that he was flying people in 34:45 he never had three jets. He was chartering jets himself and so he was a middleman for this business. Okay, the jet in that photo say that okay is one of these and he just went to the airport and he held it up by the tail and he took close photos of it and he made a bunch of marketing material holding the model play 35:11 and none of them. It was little toy jets that he was just holding by the tail and you can tell the this guy's just a scheme. The runway doesn't make sense with where this is taking off from. It's like crossing the runway and so clever because you didn't even think it could be fake, but this is a little toy. It's just a little toy airplane. Well, and it's also just like the quality of photos. Yeah, it's true. It's true. Yeah, you could get really hid 35:40 But now that you say that you can't unsee it. Yeah, you're like, oh, that's fake. Yeah. Wow. And so, everybody like nobody had any reason to look at this and be like, that's probably a fake plane. Everyone just saw the marketing material and it said he was chartering flights and then they would book a charter flight with him and he would pull it off. It wouldn't be that plane that would show up, but planes would end up getting to them. Yeah. Investors saw this stuff. Investors invested in the businesses. And so he's charting these flights. 36:06 So but when he's doing like the IRS documents, he's claiming to have three planes. Yes, yeah, yeah, which is got insurance policies on him and he has insurance policies on assets that don't exist got it and he's got investors, both private investors and public investors, because it's a public company that are investing in this business as if the assets will back up their losses. Yes, okay, got it, got it, but here's the thing that's pretty classic fraud and that's where it's like. I really had to had a toe really 36:34 delicate bounds because my marketing material was also just fake little ice creams. I would take the pictures from Dairy Queen. I be like this is what's in my inventory and I would give it to him and they would they would know yeah they're holding an invisible ice cream. They can tell when they go. This isn't what was in the picture. 36:51 I like it is if you can, if you can picture it, you can just picture it. Oh, what are you dumb? I would just embarrass him. I've been like oh, you can't imagine you don't have an event. I'm so grown that I've lost the inner child. I would say this. I have five year old like oh, I'm so girl and I've lost my inner child. I can't imagine anymore. Oh, I've lost touch with 37:14 with the whimsical part of life and they were go okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, well, you owe me another ten cents for how inconvenient this conversation was. I was yeah, were a shark and then I had two large Italians behind me also being like you're going to pay the kid by the ice cream or 38:10 What are you going do about? You can't even fight back. Our imaginations can't fight, so he's running the real thing. Yeah, that's a real thing. What it's a spectrum. It just like everyone, everyone has a different is at a different spot on the scale of what they can visualize when they close their eyes and their picture something. So the classic example is like close your eyes. What do you see when you picture an apple and there's a scale? It's like there's people who see absolutely nothing and there's people who can like picture perfect see an apple and then there's everything in between. Like there's people who see like uh 38:38 like they like a concept of an apple in their head, but they don't actually see something. Then there's people who can like visualize like the shape of an apple, but it's like kind of abstract, almost like a painting and then okay and it goes all the way to being to the point where it's actually visit. That's crazy man. Yeah, so he is booking flights for a bunch of people yeah as a middleman yeah as a middleman and he starts getting a lot of these bookings from this new band called new kids on the block and he is interested because he's like 39:07 hey, so you guys are you guys like he's talking to the manager. He's like he's like you guys are booking a lot of flights. Can you guys afford this as manager just kind of started talking to him about the economics of the business and he was like dude, I'm in the wrong business. He's like I'm out here booking all these flights. You guys are making money hand over fist, so he's living in Orlando and he puts out an open casting call. It's exactly what I thought. so he's going to start a boy band. Yeah, he says want to be boy band 39:33 ah and so he's looking for people and he starts holding these open auditions and also short. He starts meeting these different, ah I guess like young adult high school boys and he finally gets this group put together and they end up becoming the backstreet boys ah and uh ironically and here's a thing dude. I hated how he looked in the other picture. I love how he looked in this way. That's incredible 40:02 because it's the young backstreet boys and he's in a mustard yellow suit. It's a good which is and I can't overstate. That's a freaking power move right. It's a power move. Yeah, if I gained sixty pounds, I could play him. Oh honestly, I'll loop pearl and biopic with you starring it would that be fresh taking pictures of planes in the and so here's the thing that's crazy. So Lou takes the backstreet boys and he calls the manager of boys to men 40:32 or not boys to men, new kids on the block. And he says, he says, hey, he says, I got this new group. He says, live in Boston, he says, you live in Boston, Boston sucks. It's cold. I live in Orlando, Orlando rocks. It's warm. We got Disney World. He's like, he's like, you and your wife come down here, manage my new band. And he's like, deal. And so he comes down there and he tells the Backstreet Boys, he gets a deal put together, the Backstreet Boys. 40:56 and the deal is an interesting deal because there's a lot of terms into it. We're going to get into later, but one of the main things he does right off the bat, that's crazy that I just called that in the top. That's wild. Yeah, I had a feeling I when I showed you that picture, I was like he's either going to think he's a boy band manager or a youth pastor. I was like this could go either way. I wanted you to think youth pastor, but I mean I could you thought this image was going to make me go youth past his arms are crossed and he's clearly like he's like I'm the power broker here in this situation. 41:25 yeah and all these boys have the eyes of people who faster thing every single one of these boys has the eyes of someone who's like I'm going to be famous one day yeah and that's exactly what we did in youth groups. Okay, so so now he's got the backstreet boys yes and they're managed by the new kids in the block person yes and so they they left new kids on the block to manage them and the deal 41:51 basically he made this deal. said you guys are all going to quit your jobs. I've got I'm going to pay for your housing. I'm going to pay for your food. I'm to pay for your transportation. So this is what he's kind of technically in a way and so and then he's able to charter all these flights and so he is picking these kids up in Rolls Royces. He's charting flights. He's flying them private everywhere they go. He is meeting all these people and treating them, giving them the high life experience right. 42:21 takes the backstreet boys and then for about a year teaches them everything that they need to know gets them to start. uh He has his little uh blimp hanger. Are they doing gigs? So it takes some time, so he has the blimp hanger, which has no AC by the way, and so he's got them in the Florida heat and this blimp hanger 42:40 learning how to be a boy band. So he's teaching them how to sing. He gets a full like surrounds our sound system put in and he gets them mics. He teaches them how to sing on mics. He has like vocal coaches that come out and train them. He has choreographers that teach him how to dance and they spend like a year in this weird. How do you describe to your friends what you're doing at this stage of life? How do you tell your friends? Oh yeah, I got a boy band camp 43:06 It's not even camp. It's like a hot. I like kind of say like it's hot in this hanger. You're probably shirtless yeah, probably it's me and four other shirtless dudes dancing for this guy who is old and one of them is one of them is Nick Cannon, who at the time was twelve years old. I'm sorry, so that can and Nick go for it. Carter, Nick Carter. Yeah, I said which one is Nick Cannon, buddy, 43:34 One of these is Nick Cannon. 43:39 jeez so eric carter nick carter nick carter is twelve years old at the time yeah, and so they're all in there dancing. Which one's nick carter in this picture? He's the one of the yellow muster is the top. He's the one of the back yeah yeah. So nick carter is what's the age range of this so it's interesting. So nick carter's twelve and I don't remember everyone's name. The guy at the right, I believe is sixteen okay and then the two in or no 44:07 The guy in the front left is like twenty yeah and then the guy on the right and the guy in the back middle are like eighteen. believe okay and the guy in the front left whatever his name is. Let me actually get you. know I yeah I was saying I can picture his name yeah his name is yeah that's Kevin Richardson right so Kevin he worked at Disney at the time and he was one of the like tour guides and so he would do the and that's actually how he got the gig is 44:36 One of them in the group had already got the job and he was like, there's this guy at Disney that's like really good at doing the tour guide thing. We should get him. 44:46 and so they heat, so he tracked them down and then he's like you want to audition. He had him on his tour after tour after tour and this wasn't even the guy he was talking about. He's talking about a different guy, but he was just like yeah, like this guy's got the look this guy. This guy works too. I guess so that's what I'm saying. So they spent like a year learning how many that's what I'm saying. Like they weren't performing anywhere. They weren't doing any gigs. They were just learning how to be a boy band. Yes, exactly, and I think Lou was also figuring out how to do this right like he was like. Okay, what 45:15 and what goes into making and what year is this? This would have been I guess like ninety one. I would think ah maybe ninety three yeah ninety three and so then ah then the after a year of that he shipped him off on tour, but it wasn't. It was a school tour and so he did elementary. They did elementary schools and most of them did assemblies. They can run 45:44 no one knew who they were right, and so it's just this boy band, which was still like barely a thing like there's a handful of boy bands and they would just show up to these schools do their boy band thing. Obviously these kids are loving it though um sure the boy band. mean the kids, the the crowds, who knows, because like are they getting paid? Well, that's what's interesting. No, uh but all their life is covered like so don't have any is lu getting paid 46:14 I don't know at this phase. I don't know if he's getting paid at this phase. Maybe like the schools might be paying a little bit, but at the end of the day, like it's probably barely covering getting them there because it's a group of five. Yeah, so I don't know. um But the deal very clearly was like we are going to cover your cost of living. You're not going to have anything to worry about. You're going to be able to be completely focused on this. We're going to get you there. And when we get you there, then we you get paid. Basically, it was the deal. um 46:44 and so after a year of them touring around doing schools, they went and they recorded an album and that album did okay in the states, but crushed in Germany, which is really interesting, and so they did like an overseas tour. So that first record came out in ninety six yeah and in the US it hit it didn't even chart and even chart in the US, so it didn't do great. 47:13 but in Germany it peaked at number one and so it crushed in Germany right, so he sends them off on European World Tour essentially and at this European World Tour they start playing. They start with small theaters, but a lot of those they have to step up to larger rooms because they keep selling out to yeah so fast and so they're quote unquote career like blossomed overseas first and then they put out that second album 47:42 which is back streets back right and so what's that's what's so interesting as as far as people in the states are concerned. That was like the first one we knew sure where they came in their life back to his back and everyone's like where'd you who are you the mcribe so yeah and so then that one charted in the state right they exploded at that point. That was three years into this patch here yeah. Yes, and so that was the first year that they like 48:12 You know, honestly, good music, still listen to today. It's on my workout playlist. Is it? Backstreet Boys. It's the only thing I It's on your workout playlist? It is my workout playlist. Are you lying to me right now? No, I listen to Backstreet Boys on my workout. Are you telling me the truth? 48:27 I don't like that you're messing with me right now. Yeah, of course, good, so I listen to the runescape sound right when I got so yeah. 48:47 HOOOO DOOOO 48:54 found out the other day that my wife doesn't know what room scape is. um What's that? Wait, I texted you the other day before you came over to my house to meet my invisible child. Yeah and I said oh, Jen's probably at Waffle House right now and you were uh and so I was like all that is crazy. Well, because I thought about I was like one of the places around here. He would go to just hang out in a town where he doesn't live. I was like probably Waffle House uh and wow, I didn't call that. I hate that I'm that breakable. 49:24 never again. I didn't call that you'd be playing runescape and so then when you said that I actually screen shot it and sent to her and I was like told you and she was like what's runescape and I was like excuse your wife doesn't know what tick tock is. I use his Facebook still so I don't think I don't think that's a barometer of she tried to tell me that she was too cool to know what runescape was when we were kids and I was like actually that tells me that you are not cool at all like because everybody played runescape that's actually not. I mean like no girls played runescape 49:53 The cool ones did. 49:57 did they? If you are a cool girl, come below and tell us if you play. No, there was so many girls who play runescape. I had a girlfriend on there. I had like seven girlfriends on there. There were so many girls who were like happy. Your girlfriend, will you give me money and you're like yeah, and it's like dude, there was so many girls who play runescape. If no girls play runescape, who do I give ten mil to yeah? I gave ten mil to I gave my rainbow boots to a girl once. Who did I give my rainbow boots to 50:28 anyways, so he's doing this. He they after three years had their first success in the state. Why is he doing that? I was a fantasia and I had to picture the notes. I picture the three years they start touring the United States. 50:53 Hey, thanks for listening to things alone last night. Just so you know, we got a new merch line coming out for this summer, so you've been working on that summer bod and you want to show off how ripped you are. You can get a small t shirt from us or if you've not been working on that summer, but why don't you check out our two X selection? So we do have some really cool designs. I'm actually really proud of them. We got like a honking and bonking shirt. We've got a regular things on on last night. These are you listen. We don't make a ton of money from this show. This is literally to help cover our expenses, which you know 51:23 like microphones and Alex. so thanks for supporting our show. 51:33 I had to picture okay. Is our tour to the United States and that's when they start to become like a real genuine success. Meanwhile, I mean there had been other like a boy bands like boys to men was a thing. New kids in the block is in sync. Also coinciding with this right now. Do you know? So what's interesting is they're on tour in Germany and Lou is sitting there looking at them 52:00 dirt taking off in Germany and he's confident. He's like, he's like, they're to come back from Germany. We're to put out a new record. They're going to blow up in the states and so he and later interviews says, look, you got coke, you got Pepsi. We're going to have a competitor and he's like, why not own the competitor? And so he starts quietly looking for where I didn't know that he starts quietly looking for the next boy band and then that's when he put together in sync. 52:29 and he owned both of them and I did not know that same concept. He got this this group together, hold the audition held the auditions backstreet is in Germany, yeah backstreet manager who used to be new kids in the block. He hears the rumblings about it and so he calls Lou one day is like hey, what's this I'm hearing about you putting together another boy band and he's like 52:54 Oh, I'm not putting together another boy band. There's just this kid that's trying to get his own band put together. He keeps showing up asking me all questions. It's nothing. I'm not doing it. There's nothing involved there. And so he's like keeping this quiet from everybody until he gets the band put together, does the same thing. Backstreet's in Germany doing their German tour. InSync is at the airstrip learning how to do the thing. And so they start in 95 learning their thing while Backstreet is off on tour. 53:24 back street comes back back street starts touring the US back flows back back streets back back street blows up. Back street blows up. They weren't back thanks reeds very white back street. You were back trees black. I didn't realize I did that. That's why I was like back streets back yeah they're toward the US. They're exploding. They're just larger than life now right, and so now the boys in saying in is doing the school tour we're doing 53:52 elementary school. They're doing elementary schools and they don't know about each other yet and then how do they not know about each other? He's keeping it under lock and key. Oh, you mean like they don't know that they're both involved with Luke because obviously in see knows about actually I gonna say no way about backstreet yeah actually doesn't know about in sync okay and then Disney comes to uh Lou and it's like we want backstreet to do this big Disney event, but backstreet the guys in backstreet think that it's the bad call. They think that if we do this 54:19 we're going to be labeled as like the Disney band. We're going to be a kid's Disney band. And so they back out and lose like, it's okay. I got another and he drops in sink in and that's how in sync blows up because they took that Disney opportunity and backstreet all of sudden is like, a second, you have another boy band? And so was kind of like this like almost moment of betrayal for backstreet because they didn't know that there was this like other one that he had, right? Like locked up and ready to go at the moment when it was ready. Yeah. In sync does this Disney event. 54:49 and just explodes like locked out of a cannon. Didn't have to go do the Germany thing. They just overnight were huge. And so now all of sudden he's got coconut, he's got Pepsi and he's like, 55:05 Now all of sudden he's got Coke and he's got Pepsi. Why did you say it? That's what he said. And he's like, he's he's like, he's got Coke and he's got Pepsi. And he's like, he's like, he's like, what else could I need? He's like, he's like, I need Mountain Dew. I need RC Cola. I a mug. And so he starts going out and he starts. it's Fanta. Sorry, Fanta. Fanta. He trying to start all these other bands and the network of 55:33 boy bands and like single artists that he put together are pretty crazy. He had put together. I don't know if you're going to know all these bands, but let's see all of them. I don't have pictures of all of them okay, but he put together LFO. Have you heard of it? Yep, take five yeah natural oh big Marshall Dylan. I don't know who I know Marshall Don and then Aaron Carter, obviously you get the bird little brother. Did Aaron Carter do? want candy yeah. I think 56:02 also a big part of this for these boys bands was so many of these songs got used in like the Disney Channel, original movies yeah. He had Disney connections and that's yeah all you need yeah, especially 56:25 and then Jordan night young girl, audience, Jordan night, smiles and South Star. I if you heard any of these. was just messing about. I didn't know about LFO. I didn't know about natural. I only do Aaron Carter. Did you know take five? No, see note. No, there's another one on here that's not listed on the on the Wikipedia, but it was a girl band, same concept as a boy band, just all female. uh One of the original members in it, Britney Spears, okay, so that's how she got her start. It was in that band too, so he had a 56:55 massive impact on this era of music right is the point. A lot of the main artists in this time frame were pearl men artists. He had the company transcontinental records. Here's the thing. Maybe that's why I think about how big it is transcontinental. Here's the interesting thing about got it three years in backstreet boys blow up yeah they're huge. This is the time where he they said he told them I'm going to cover all your cost of living till we make it and then yeah 57:24 and then you get paid and so they he invites them to this steak dinner. They got to this really nice restaurant in Orlando. He sits them around a table and he slides them their checks. This is three years of effort. They now are a platinum artist. They've world toured arenas and so they're huge. I mean we know how big Backstreet was there at dinner and lose like yeah we're at the three year mark. He slides them all their checks. There's three years of work that have got them to the point where they're 57:53 Platinum artists yeah, they have toward the globe arena toward the globe right. Are you they have not been being paid this entire time, but all their expenses are all their expenses are taken care of and he's given them a pretty lavish lifestyle like they are riding everywhere in limos. They're flying private that he's buying all their clothes. They're eating incredible meals like they're living and they have a crazy my style and stuff like they. I don't know if they have spending money. I don't think they have free time, so I don't know if that's really a concern, but 58:22 Now they're getting paid the top point in the deal where it's like we've made money. You can get paid now, slides them all checks, three years of effort. They opened them up and then age got a check or $10,000. Oh, and immediately each one of them was like, this doesn't seem right. Yeah, we'll adjust for inflation real quick. I'll tell you $10,000 and this would have been 96. 58:49 ah is worth twenty thousand today for three years. Yeah, I saw one documentary that did the math. This was equivalent to less than minimum wage for three years of effort. ah No to be a you say you had to watch a whole documentary to figure that out. What are you stupid? Are you a dumb baby? So oh wow, twenty thousand dollars over three years. I saw one documentary that did the math. 59:18 turns out that's less than minimum wage yeah in ninety six. I wasn't making minimum wage in ninety six. Minimum wage was also four dollars and ninety five cents and ninety six oh and also for ten thousand dollars. Yeah, here's the deal. I don't need you to explain to me whatever. Okay anyways, so the bang gets together after this and like something's up. I were like we've been working a lot. We made way more money than this 59:48 I'm sure he made more money than this. The business seems to be doing pretty well. And also, by the way, weird little sidebar. He made, this is crazy. He made Nick Carter. Hold on, let me get the names right. He made, uh so Nick Carter was going to have to spend a lot of time with him. He's 12 years old. Right. And so he can't just like be spending all this time with them. And so he made Nick Carter. uh 01:00:16 I don't know what the technical term is for this become like where he was his guardian. Well, no Brian the trail, one of the other band members had to become his legal guardian who was eighteen years old at the time, and so he's now his dad, which is whole. I would never would have let that go, but yeah his parents couldn't be there all the time yeah and but he's twelve years old and so they need they needed a legal guardian there and so Brian the trail had to become his legal guardian. 01:00:44 and so like that's weird. What we had to do that for you when we do go to play. I'm your legal guardian. Can you imagine what do have to do for chair to actually kick imagine because I have a foundation. I can't imagine that thanks for asking actually really hurt. Can you imagine no? 01:01:08 them so he that you should avoid those micro aggressions. You should really think about the words you use more carefully, so they get together. The band gets together and they're like something's up here and they start talking about it. Something's up guys. I think something is a miss, so we're making less. Did you know we're making less than minimum wage? It's what I was told yeah, so 01:01:37 Brian Littrell, he hired a lawyer to look over all their contracts. With his $10,000. He's like, I'll take my $10,000, hire a lawyer with his contract. And so when they, the lawyer poured through all the documents and he learned a few things. obviously as the agency, the agency was taking a major percentage off the top of what they were making. This percentage was large, it was a 40%. 01:02:06 percentage, which is pretty high. The other thing that's interesting is they were a five piece band, but in court in the documents, there were six piece band. The sixth person was Lou Pearlman and Lou Pearlman was a founding member that had the largest stake in the band. Okay, they all had small percentage pieces of the band and he had like an eighty percent share. So not only so they're taking so they're they're splitting twenty percent, so they're getting four percent each. Yeah, 01:02:35 and they're paying forty percent of that to the agency and then he's also taking eighty percent because he's at the founding member, but he's not doing anything. He's not even on tour with them right yeah, and he he just put them together and so they found that out and the lawyer, the lawyer who saw this was like. Oh, this is interesting. He told it to them and at this point the band has been in a major feud with in sync this whole time. Their enemies yeah, but 01:03:02 the band, the Backstreet Boys reaches out to the instinct and like, Hey, are you guys making any money? And they're like, I mean, now that you mention it, no, are we supposed to be making money? 01:03:19 No. Oh my gosh, you're right, but here I am in a luxury and it's also kind of like, just be grateful. You're like twelve man. You're staying in a luxury hotel in Germany, so maybe shut up. Maybe lose right up. Maybe Lou is right and so they find out and they hire a lawyer and they look through same thing. He's the sixth member of the band. They're taking a major percentage out of it and this starts to spread between all of the bands and all the bands start to notice the same pattern. He's the sixth member 01:03:47 they're taking a big percentage. They're making basically nothing for all the work that they're doing right and he's making a lot of money off of the work that yeah doing so they take him to court and this becomes like a huge uh case and it becomes like this big lawsuit that's uh very much in the public eye and his last years. But eventually what ends up coming out of it is he gets forced out of all these bands surprise and they have to restructure all of these deals. 01:04:16 to where they're more fair for the bands. A lot of the bands end up leaving the label after the fact, because right. Why would you say with someone also? Why would the label have allowed that? Yes, like the label knew what was going on. Oh, a hundred percent, a hundred percent. So a lot of these band and end up leaving and it kind of crushes his ability to run this scheme, this record band record label anymore. So he pivots 01:04:44 And in the early 2000s, he opens up a talent scouting company and townscouting company. Long story short, very similar story. Ended up getting lawsuits, ended up falling apart. The big thing that's happening here is all along the road, he has the same pool of investors and he has this one guy on Wall Street that is paying $10,000 a week to just buy and move shares. 01:05:11 So that way the value of the company stays pretty like where he wants it to be. And so he's kind of manufacturing the value of this company while the company is failing nonstop. He has this ownership group that was the airship blimp company and that failed. It was Transcontinental Airlines that failed. It was the record company that built the factory poison and sink and Aaron Carter and Britney Spears and a lot of major bands that you heard of that fails. 01:05:40 He also got a fro yo company. Oh, this is a fun one. What are they called? I'm drawing a blank leaf. What orange leaf? No, not orange leaf um baskin robins. Hold on. This is chip and dales. uh He got chip and dales and then a bunch of other like just various 01:06:07 really ran the businesses that he was running that some were relatively successful, some were not very successful at all and they were all underneath this ownership structure and it was very abundantly clear by the mid two thousands yeah that this is a ponzi scheme that he's using this business to prop this one up to prop this one up yeah yeah yeah and to then go pay back investors. ah So the FBI finds out 01:06:35 and the FBI comes and does an investigation. The FBI shows up and they immediately realize


Lou Pearlman was one of the most influential and controversial figures in the pop music industry. His story begins far from the stage lights, but it would eventually shape the rise of some of the biggest boy bands in history. From Paper Routes to Big Schemes Pearlman grew up in New York in the 1950s. Even as a child, he … Read More

The Truth About the Yellow Deli Cult | Ep 284

08-26-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of the yellow deli? 00:07 I love this because here's what happened. I did a stand up show in New York, all right, not New York City. There's a lot. There's other places in New York. I was in One on New York. I did a college show and you know college shows. Honestly, here's what happens. Sometimes college shows they promote them well and there's like a thousand kids there. Most times it's just the student activity board because they don't know how to promote stuff, so it's you and eight kids, but you get paid the same either way, which is sick. Yeah, that's cool. I've actually done a couple college shows where I've shown 00:37 up. No students showed up except for the activities board and they were like hey, so like you just want to hang out with us, we'll still pay you and I literally just out and didn't have to do the show. Yeah, it's good life. So you know, so I mean only out in New York, I do the show during the show. I said hey, where do you guys like to eat? Yeah, and this girl says, well, we love the yellow deli and another kid goes, well, yeah, I mean, but that's a cult. 01:03 and I was like what and all the kids were like yeah, I said yeah, just yeah that you mean it's a cold yellow deli is a cult yeah and I'm so excited for this episode now yeah yeah except for we're probably not talking about he just did it. 01:23 I shouldn't be excited about anything this called does, but that is cool. Should we go get sleepy yellow? I got sleepy yellow. uh I do think we should try to make a field trip or something. Yeah, that would be worth it. Things I learned last night. 01:53 So where do want to start? Do we want to talk about their menu items first? I would like to talk about, I would like to talk about the yellow deli restaurant first. Okay, well I I like really research the restaurant that much. Okay, so maybe you tell me a little bit about the food. Okay, no, no, I'll tell you then the restaurant. First of all, they like they don't do coffee. They don't do like caffeine. They do weird teas, which are really good actually, but they're there. Is this like, let me ask you, is this what the one you to look like? 02:20 because what I've noticed looking at different locations online is there are locations that look like normal delis okay, but then there are locations that look like this. Yes, this is an inside what I went to yeah and then inside it's like a casa bonita but amish okay. That's what I'm saying. All the insides look like this. It's like um it's almost like a hobbit village. Yeah inside like it's really the decor is great. It's all handmade stuff like it's all very 02:49 you know what Amish does? It has those vibes and everyone working there dresses like those kind of vibes as well. They dress like they're in clothes that they made yeah right and everyone everyone there's very friendly. The food is like sandwiches, soups, very good, very good sandwiches actually and like it's it's a place that's open twenty four hours interesting and so for a deli yeah well there and look at all their locations. They are in or near colleges. They're in college towns. Yeah, 03:19 And so they're trying to be uh a hangout spot, a study spot, because what they want, and I didn't know this till later, they want to find college students studying alone so they can go strike up conversation and then lure them into the cult. But the actual sandwich, it's like a real place, like you can just go and it's not a bad thing. It's really good and wonderful and great. We love them. 03:48 amazing and you should try it. You should go? We don't recommend going. ah You should go. 04:01 So the yellow deli actually was founded. Oh God, I hate whatever this face bit thing is going on right now. ah The yellow deli was founded in nineteen seventy two by a guy named Jean sprigs. Here's what he looks like. I bet you can't guess. Take a guess. Just think about it. Imagine a gene sprigs from nineteen seventy two founded the yellow deli. I see my dreams every night. Yeah, he probably looks like a white smurf. uh 04:32 He looks like it's literally pop a smurf without the blue, but a white guy. uh 04:39 he's got little Santa glasses on for people listening. He does look like Santa in the off season to yeah, it's a shorter beard, the longer white hair and in the summer and then a little bit more fit. He stops eating the cookie and goes and jogs a little bit. He does have those tiny little Santa glasses that Santa has and he does have the rosy red cheeks. They're kind of he really does do the San. It looks like Santa's brother the winner, Santa's brother is like a Santa's brother, Jean 05:07 who runs a sandwich called yeah. My brother is known around the world, so bring in presence to kids, so I just make sandwiches and try to get kids into my cult right. So it started in nineteen win nineteen seventy two seventy two yeah and it's a very hippie movement. Yeah, I have a mug I bought from there. Yes, I loved it. I was like wait. This is crazy. I love that this is a cult and so I bought the mug. ah You don't know that it's on my desk. It's like funny 05:35 it's like funny because I'm like supporting an organization that suppresses women and like doesn't let their kids learn how to read. What are you looking at for? I bought the mug every morning. I prayed a gene dear je don't call him dear gene. uh That's what you say. When you pray you say dear you don't call him dear je 05:59 I'm calling dear Jean L. Why would I say dear Jean dear Jean? Why I say that help me change Briggs? Ah, jean, jean, 06:15 Yeah, we're to do that. That's unfortunately going to be in my vernacular for a while. Jean Spreegs, Spratt, Jean Spreegs. All right, I like that a lot. So in nineteen seventies is very hippy movement. That's what it feels like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like the vibes of the restaurant are like that as well. So Jean Spreegs was a member of the Jesus movement, which if you don't know a lot about the Jesus movement, that's how we ended up getting 06:41 what would people think if they knew that I'm a Jesus freak off? ah I've been teaching my son rhythm and Jaren is is mean about it. Oh yeah, he teaches his kid. He pulls it. He puts his kill on the floor and goes no. First of all, I put my kid on the floor and then I play Ohio is for lovers by author nice and I sit there and I drum on his shoulders 07:11 and I sing to my two month old baby, cut my wrists and bite my eyes. Which feels a little weird, but he needs to know the classics. But Tim, Tim, cause Tim's like, I'm teaching him rhythm and I keep trying to tell him like, Tim, that's not, like that's a genetic trait. That's not something. No, you can brain map that. Everything you can. You brain map rhythm. can, everything right now you're doing, you're brain mapping their brain to things. And so right now at this specific moment in their life, you can teach them. 07:40 And I will say, he does seem like he's picking it up because we'll be playing songs and then he'll start kicking his leg. that's why whenever I met him last week, I leaned in and I said, shareholder value matters. 07:53 Maximize the profit margins. 07:57 cut the labor cost. 08:00 I'm going to turn him into a greed goblin, a great goblin. Oh my god, gold on the other side of the rainbow. Check your coin base portfolio. I set one up for you. You're welcome. So he was a part of the Jesus movement. If you don't know, that was the time when like very charismatic Christian movement that popped up in the seventies. Honestly, like if you take the hippie movement and just make it Christian, that was the Jesus movement. I think there was, there was 08:30 a capitalization on the hippie movement was like oh you want all this, but you could have that and morality is like the pitch was and yes turn yeah so very, very charismatic right and but he joined that and didn't feel like it was fundamentalist enough and so he was like I'm going to start my own house church and he started his own house church house church notoriously a healthy thing. 08:57 Yeah, you probably shouldn't go to a house or a very notoriously healthy and well led and a accountable system. Yeah, yeah, definitely don't go to a house church if you're invited to one. And I say that as someone who has, it's just a situation that's like, man, there's no oversight. Well, that's great. Literally as someone who had a house church, I genuinely, that was part of the motivation was 09:25 I don't have to go get a license and I don't have to get an education. I can just follow the spirits leading stupid right and and usually leads to dangerous things like this and so he started his house church and then he was recruiting people for his house church and he realized it'd be easier to get people in his house church. If he had a place where people were regularly going and so he opens up a cafe called common grounds and common grounds is the stereotypical m 09:55 a coffee shop name in the lobby of that mega church. Yes, actually, one hundred is common grounds. Common grounds is very common and he's the one who came up pretty culty. has the he has the copyright and so every time or the trademark, so every time a church uses it, they have to pay him. That's not true. That's a hundred percent true. Speaking of things that are true, I got a DM was in the bathroom before this. That's an out of context quote. Right. That I was in the bathroom before this. You just read this thread. 10:24 Okay. Out loud or in my head? I'm going to be honest. I don't know if I want you to see who it's from at first. Like I almost kind of want to start at the top. So yeah, you can't see the person's name. So just cover it. Okay. I won't look at the person. 10:47 Okay, so me not knowing who it's from. The first message at 3.32 PM is dive deep mortal. What's on your mind? There's nothing before this, right? didn't. Oh, okay. And then you responded. Hi, Satan. Is that can I uncover it? it Satan? It's one of those new meta AIs and it's just. Oh, it's an AI. 11:14 Yeah, it's one of those new meta a eyes that reached out to you and it's just Satan. We would read the thread, read the thread, hold on it, initiated a conversation with you. No, no, because I hear have you not messaged one of these as before? No, they're stupid. They're say I did one with a police officer too and it was just about the same way. I can show you that thread. If you want to read it dive deep or know what's on your mind. Hi Satan, that's your this Tim's voice. 11:42 Hello my favorite soul, what do you want? Favorite? 11:48 don't get too excited. You're just the most entertainingly miserable. Eeww exactly why I like you. What's your favorite thing about me? Say me 12:05 This is how you fall in love with Satan. 12:10 You just drilled your head on the wall. What's your favorite thing about me? See it your self destruction. It's like you're trying to do my job for me. Dang, that got a will to real. That's your voice. 12:31 I'm not doing a voice for you. That's what you sound like to me and Alice. That's what you said you and Alice star jeans, spray jeans, breaks it. Should I pour holy water on the burn? You and I are both you and I both know you can't tough holy water because I can type yeah at least stay lore. You think you know me adorable 13:00 You think you know? You the different text, right? Better than you know yourself. Okay, what's something I don't know about me then? Prove. 13:15 and then I'm going to be honest to him. It got you. You're seeking meaning, but pretending you're not. 13:31 bro that got you. This is what I mean. It must really be Satan prove it. Your browser history is filled with just cut it off. Keep it a mystery. 13:49 hard cut that magazine. My Tim searches for his freaking great. This isn't fun anymore. No, you got to finish that. You got to finish the browser is to invest your darkest secret. Did you see that? That's the AI is like confess your darkest secret. I'll roast it. The AI is like, give me a little leverage on me a little. I'll make fun of it. Give me some dirt on you. Isn't that sketchy? Yeah. m 14:17 You want to see my conversation with the cop? No, I don't know if we can put that one was the conversation with the cop. Tell me the illegal things you've done and you were like, here's a list. 14:28 I don't mess with those AIs. Okay, we're going police officer. Why is this a thing? I don't know. It's so dumb. Welcome to my profile. Am I being detained? This is what you sound like. It makes it sound like it's so weird. I'm being funny. I know you're free to go from curious. What made you ask that? Am I being 15:04 Ha ha, it's laughs. No, you're clear. Want to know what just made me think you might be guilty of something? I don't understand it. This was it your tone. It winked, it winked at the cop winked at me and then said hands up. Don't shoot. And then m 15:29 and then your role playing with this thing because it it said draws gun then immediately holstered your role playing with a robot right now. 15:40 You got me. What did I just shoot you for? 15:47 You 15:52 I need your name and badge number. That's you. 16:08 I'm fighting with the name officer Jameson drink a lot badge number fourteen fourteen. Now am I under arrest? What did I do? It's so flirty right? Am I wrong? It's learning. It's freaking flirty. Do you read it like that? He's officer is flirting with you. 16:34 here's what's weird about it. Hold on scroll about the bottom. still wondering what I did and then it initiated another common. Yes, that's what's crazy. Okay, it keeps initiating him. Stop responding because Tim was a cop slurred with me and then and that was what time was that nine thirty two AM seven PM that night. The cop responds unprompted still wondering what I did to get interrogated like that spill the beans. What yeah it did. It goes back in. He goes 17:02 it actually kept sliding back and I had to block it and he said I'll see you in court. 17:09 and the cop said face palms charge me already. What's the crime excessive policing of your sense of humor? 17:26 It's flirting. Kind of. Yeah, it's flirting and then I don't respond and then days later it responds again and I think it did a couple more times and I ended up having to block it to get it to stop sliding in my DMS. It's kind of annoying. That's crazy. Like I saw it. I did it as a joke because I did it was like you four days later. Yeah. And I saw it pop up. I messaged as a joke. I was like this is I'll get some funny screenshots out of this. So I'm going to do that and send it to a group chat and then that's 17:54 Yeah, and then it just kept messaging me. And so now I was in the bathroom a minute ago and I saw Satan as an option. was like, Oh, I'm definitely going to message Satan. 18:02 but now Satan's not going to stop sliding in my Dens. Are you going to flirt with the devil? I might, I might be for him with the devil. What's it to you? It's kind of, you know, pretty cool. Not a lot of people got Satan DMing them. That's crazy. Can you time stamp all of that and I those screenshots because that's a crazy clip, dude. Me reading you for 18:36 It's so funny. Hands up, don't shoot. 18:46 All right, let's get back in the episode. Tim pulled together buddy. Hey, hey, hey, come on. I say, be professional dude. 19:00 It's a bit boring, think I'm 19:06 so he starts to call and then starts the restaurants of that. That's great. I love that was a that was what tans that was worth it. So okay, okay, so he's like he really did start the common grounds then as a way of like you know the idea was what it is where is a way to be a community yeah yeah, which I mean churches still do this and churches will start coffee shops. My 19:35 Hey, people will start coffee shops, they'll mark all the profits as like a nonprofit, and then they'll be like, oh, it's our ministry to create a space for people to hang out. And you're like, no, you just made a profit machine. I mean, that's the one thing that I will say on their end. They're a 501, I think it's a C3. they're a 501. I don't know if it's a 501-4, maybe it's a 501-D. I always forget what the code is on it. It's either 501-4 or 501-D, which is a faith-based for-profit entity. 20:04 and so the way the way it functions is a little different. They don't get to tax right off profits, but they don't have to pay income taxes. It's very strange and then there and they have some other like liberties. They're granted as a faith based organization where like a lot of their practices would technically be illegal in most organizations, but because it's a faith based organization, they're allowed because their faith because they don't pay their employees right so 20:33 That's an interesting point, but we'll get to that. We'll get to that. Oh, that's an interesting minor detail of the story. So okay, so common grounds opens in this in seventy two. Then did he open the same year uh so or did he start his house church there? Their movement started in seventy two. What did they call their movement? It went by a lot of different names, so it started out as uh the vine community church, then the northeast kingdom community church, uh 21:02 and then the messianic community and then the community apostolic apostolic order community apostolic order and the twelve tribes is where they landed okay to all tribes. currently are today yeah. They ended up becoming the twelve tribes and so long story short, he was a part of the Jesus movement and he realized I don't really like that you guys aren't weird enough and so he came up with all of his other ideas and to kind of give you a very broad stroke of what they believe is they took uh 21:32 Christianity and Judaism. they said, what if it was the one thing? And you might be hearing that and saying, that's kind of what Christianity is. And he says, but what if it was a little bit more of that? And so he took, he took a lot of Jewish teaching, primarily all of the like holidays they celebrate. Passover, Yom Kippur, uh any like the bar mitzvah, toeyotephan, all of the like uh religious holidays that they celebrate. 22:02 the uh Levitical law and a handful of other like random by radical law technically. mean like there's yeah, that's like division. Yeah, and so okay, they practice a lot of stuff as if they were Jewish, but they believe in Jesus and they believe that Jesus is returning and what's most important is they believe charismatic movement. Yes, they're very charismatic and they believe Jesus is returning in twenty, twenty seven ah 22:30 Oh, they have a date. I didn't know they had a date. Yes. So they believe Jesus is returning in 2027. And what's interesting about that date is that they believe that by that date, they have to put together the Lord's army, which is 144,000 male virgins. 22:49 Well. 22:52 I can. I can be the Lord's army. I can't be in a combat role. I may never march in the infidere right with the cavalry shoot the artillery. I may never fly over the enemy, but I'm in the Lord's army. Not anymore. I got married so so they think they've got until 23:22 They think they have until twenty twenty seven to assemble one hundred and forty four thousand virgin men. Yeah, hey, there is never been a time for reddit to shine. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Actually, a yellow deli. You guys are a bit like, I hope they come eat our sandwiches. Join for Chan brother. Yeah, there they are. You got a lot found them. 23:51 Yeah, post one meme. You'll find all hundred forty four thousand you need dude freaking joke about Joe Rogan on the internet. You'll find them at tell them you're going to raid area fifty one and then just scoop them all up. So okay, so that's the cult though that I mean a call that's the that's the church yeah that you know settles on twelve tribes does the they when did they set the twenty twenty seven date? I don't know when they set the twenty twenty seven day. What I will say is I've seen some things that 24:20 because like is this is I was gonna say, is this a moving date because like twenty twenty sevens in the future of now we're recording. I have seen so I seen some things that say that there is no defined date to when they need to assemble the hundred forty four thousand. Okay, what I will say is I've seen some more recent things that say that one hundred seven so it does seem like I don't the seventy I haven't seen another twenty seven and they're like okay Mr. Spreegs. I haven't seen another date. This is the first date I've seen reference, so it's not a moving date. 24:46 But it is a new date. Give us the full timeline of when they start the restaurants and then we'll dive further into the teachings. Okay, so you want more restaurant stuff? the restaurant arc, oh because the restaurant arc is the most normal part about it and then we can dive. No? Okay. I mean, not the structure of the restaurant. I want to know the full timeline of how we get from 72 to here and then we can dive further into the stuff. Okay, so... That work? Yeah, yeah. 25:15 So in seventy two, they I missed one of the names. They started as the Light Brigade and it was him and his wife, Jean Spriggs and his wife, Marsha. And they were a house church, but they initially began meeting at a local coffee shop called the Lighthouse, which is probably where they got the name, the Light Brigade. And I think what probably happened and I don't have evidence of this, but what I think probably happened is they were meeting in this coffee shop and while they were in the coffee shop, they probably met some other people who joined the movement. 25:44 Okay, and then they shifted to meeting in the house and then that's when they realized. Oh, this is like this. There's nobody coming to this space except for the people we invite. We need a place where people come for another reason and then we can meet them right and so that's when we need people passing by the orbit. Yes, so we can pull them in. Yes, and so that's when they opened the yellow deli, which was originally common ground. So they open common grounds and it was 26:10 within a year, within a year of them starting it. Okay, so 73 ish and so they started living in like a compound together. They write the people who were members and they opened up this restaurant and the way they structured it was it wasn't a hey, you can come work at this deli and be a part of the deli and like that's how you're going to earn your living. It was hey, we are running the deli. The deli runs the compound and so you're earning money for the compound to be able to keep all of us alive, but nobody's 26:38 earning an income for themselves. You're all working towards the end goal of bringing money back to the community. none of the individual employees are getting paid? None of them are getting paid, technically. But they all live for free in the compound. They all live for free in the compound and then all their food comes from the All their needs are met through the compound. Yes. And so... the way that they earn their keep essentially... Is by working at the deli. Yeah. Right. And the way they get away with this is... It's religious. 27:08 Well, as everybody is an owner in the deli, they're all owners. And so as an owner, they don't have to take an income because it's operating at a loss. And so then the money goes, any money that comes in, it's going back to the community. And because the community is also under the umbrella of it, those are all expenses for the business. So they open that up, they're running the deli and so from the beginning, this was a cult. 27:36 Like that's what I'm saying, like it didn't, it didn't, like a weird charismatic movement that became, cause that's how it still operates today. They still have a compound at each location that they live at and like they don't get paid and that's what they do. So that was the vision from the beginning is what I mean. That's what I was curious about. I was saying, when did it grow into? Yeah. Because that was the model. They wanted to be like the X2 church. So the idea is that everybody lived in common and had. 28:01 they all met each other's needs right and so nobody had their own income. Nobody had their own anything. Everybody sold everything they had to join this community and to be a part of this community and then they worked within the community to keep it functioning and so some people had jobs specifically on the compound, but a lot of people worked for the deli and uh the deli is anybody have jobs outside of either those places so not in the beginning okay. The deli is open twenty four seven 28:30 and it very much seems like I think you, you, you got part of this story correct because they're in a college town is where they start this, but I think that they started in Tennessee. Yeah, they're in Chattanooga, Chattanooga, Tennessee. And what's interesting is it's not just college kids though they're open 24 seven because it seems like they're trying to appeal to a group of people that would go to a deli at three o'clock in the morning. 28:58 because a lot of that's a different crowd, you know, grunts, yeah, bag of bonds, people who kind of don't really have a place in this world, you know, and so they get them to come to the deli. They're like, hey, that person's in the deli alone at three o'clock in the morning. Yeah, they're probably not in a great place in their life. I'm going to tell him about Jesus Christ our Lord and ask if they're a virgin. 29:23 in the early days of this show. We did like affiliate ads where we were like a sign up for grammarly and use code till and and we got like fifteen cents and now we just do patreon. It's a much better way. It's better for us as creators. It's better for you as listeners and it's a much more fun way for us to interact. We do monthly hangouts like on zoom. We just hang out and play games online and and get to know each other. It's a really fun time so 29:50 um but still use our code till in at grammerly dot com because I think it's still I think we might get like a couple cents from that, but join us on patreon because we're having a great time. If you don't, we're going to have to start doing mobile game ads. 30:07 I have two very important questions. You heard of gene sprigs? I've heard of gene Simmons. Do you mean Jim Jim Simmons? And so this just it, it honestly catches some steam and it remember it's the same time as the hippie movement, the same time as the Jesus movement. And so it's kind of this counter cultural opposite of the counter cultural movement and it grows. And what is really interesting is in this very early stage, 30:37 They are associated somewhat with a local Presbyterian church, the first Presbyterian church in that area. So they would go, they had their community, they had their deli, they had their local house churches, almost what you could call like a small group meeting, but then they would go to service at first Presbyterian church, like the whole community would go together. How many people is this in the first couple years, do know? um I don't know exactly how many members. 31:06 If I had a ballpark, it I would say at most a couple dozen, it seems small. It like a small local movement. Maybe maybe you might call like a larger small group. Sure. And so they're going and being a part of the first Presbyterian Church. But then one day they tried to go to service on January 12th, 1975, and they were enraged when they went and they found out that service that Sunday had been canceled for the Super Bowl. And so that was like 31:34 culminating moment in the life of Gene Spriggs where he says, we're not going to be a part of any of these satanic organizations ever again. We're going to start our own. And so he starts his own church. They canceled this for the Super Bowl. So I was like, Super Bowl, we have one of those on the menu. No, no, not anymore. Super Bowl. That's great. Okay. So that was pretty early Super Bowl, right? That was 32:02 I mean, yeah, 75, that was a very early Super Bowl. Yeah. And so they then said, OK, we are now starting our own churches, the Vine Community Church. And they started planting churches. They planted churches in Dalton and Trenton, Tennessee, and then Georgia, Mentone, Alabama, and Dayton, Tennessee. And so really quickly started expanding. And each church that they planted also had a commune and also had a yellow deli. 32:31 Yes. So they began expanding really quickly and opening up these new uh locations. Something kind of cool that they did in this era is they did not call their church services service. Instead, they called them critical mass, which is sick. We're going to critical mass. Oh, shoot. I shouldn't be excited about anything this call does, but that is cool. 32:58 Yeah. Okay. ah Pretty quickly though, by 1976, this starts getting picked up by like anti-cult movements that start to realize this is a cult. There's something sketchy going on here. uh Primarily. For some foreshadowing too, where I live in California, there's one in San Diego. So this is... There's one in Warsaw. Yeah, there's one here in Missouri. oh Like this has gone coast to coast. this is... Yeah. Yeah, they're big. 33:26 ah So many do they have now? Do you know how many location yellow delis? They got a little over thirty worldwide worldwide. That's what I'm saying, uh but I think we're down from their peak. I think they had more interesting. So in the in seventy six, a couple groups, uh an anti cult is by the name of Ted Patrick, a group called the Citizen Freedom Foundation. And this is my favorite, the parents committee to free our children from the children of God, which is probably referencing the children of God cult. 33:55 but not a very good name of a group. That's pretty. mean, it's I mean you don't have to guess what they do. They all started calling. That's like where it's like hey you guys, what do you guys want to name? What do you guys want to name this group? And then one of the parents is like I want my kid to get out of the cold shut up. We're not trying to brand this thing and they're like okay, well let's call it the parents trying to get their kids. 34:14 they call it whatever they said. They're not trying to pray this thing. It's all in the name. Shut up. We're not trying to brand this thing. We're just trying to get our kid out of the cold. Our kid has been sucked into this group of people who's told them that the only way to live the life is to sell off of possessions and work at this deli and we're just trying to get their kid out and then the next time this is five oh one C three and then the next time they come to a meeting of this group, that guy walks in there like I made sure it says all that on it. 34:40 it's like a logo with like a globe on it and Jesus and then it says all that wrapping around the glove. It takes like six full rotations to get all that stuff in it. I was like why do we let this go the group? I'm helping I just wanted to use my gifts to contribute. I try to be a kid in the colt. So by the early eighties, 35:10 Ironically that actually that group became a cult themselves 35:20 You know, they got a point actually. Yeah, I mean, hey, you know what? Maybe they're right. You know, I mean, honestly, so okay, so they've got multiple locations around multiple locations and then they started to realize, hey, I bet the kind of people that they're attracting are the kind of people who would go to a deli in the middle of the night. So they're kind of like the, you said, vagabonds. I don't want to say losers because I don't think that's a good word, but people who are kind of like down on their luck or maybe like cast aside by society. 35:48 and so then they somebody who didn't have a good role model yeah or somebody if a couple years older than them to put on an elaborate art exhibit and so they've stayed in their sadness far too long. Honestly, those dudes saved Colin Pope from joining yeah occult yeah yeah kind. Maybe who knows could have will never know. Thank God to the service of Joe and Dylan. So Jean and his wife, Marsha said. Where can we find more of these type of people? 36:17 and they put their heads together and they said oh grateful dead shows. So they got a bus and they started following the grateful dead tour. That's true. Yep, I yeah, yeah, they called this the peacemaker and they literally they would go to grateful dead tours and follow the tour stop to stop to stop and be outside the show trying to convince people to join the call and it worked. They got a lot of people and worked so well that they got peacemaker to and 36:44 continued following this bus looks crazy by the way. If you're an audio listener, this is like a regular bus with like a couple feedback. Another bus jammed into it, couple feedback, another bus. This is a four story bus. I'm not joke, kept sticking more buses on it. That's crazy. That's so sick though. This bus can't that is most bridges so sick though and 37:08 they did this throughout the eighties and nineties. This is a postcard. They made postcards of the piece of a bus called a bus called piece maker and they didn't matches their aesthetic like that's that is the yellow deli branding wow and they would just follow tours for brands like the grateful dead in the nineties. They started five guys. What am I going to do? I have to go to the level sure 37:33 artists dream of like oh man, when I get the level to Westboro Baptist is protesting my shows, I'll know I've made it now. That's jump, that's jump, that's too easy. I need a deli to follow me. I need the sandwich makers of the world to be caravanning behind me. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah, and so that worked really well. They were just following concert tours of bands that they thought seemed bad um and they would just 37:59 hang out outside the show every night and recruit people to their to their cause. This word so well, so roping in some skillet. This word so well that in the year two thousand they bought the next iteration of this peacemaker marine and I am not joking. They bought this pirate ship. I don't have any word now they sail around the Pacific, showing up at ports. 38:28 That is crazy. Do you want to join our cult? I mean, do you want to join our community? You want to work at a sandwich store? Have you ever thought about being a sandwich artist? You got nimble little fingers. I can see that fold in some turkey. That's like a straight up, like that's like, it looks like a ship that you would make in a bottle. Yeah, this pirate ship. I'm not even exaggerating when I say this. This is, hold on, let me actually give you the exact dimensions of this, this pirate ship. This ship is a hundred and twenty six feet tall. Yeah. 38:57 This ship is 150 feet long. Wow. Crazy. It's a full sailboat, but it also has two diesel engines with 400 horsepower. That is insane. Okay. And so this is docked outs in Georgia in a port in Georgia. uh But they, take this thing all over the place on their little tour, their little evangelism tours. Yeah. Okay. Why you looking at me like that? 39:28 because you look at me like you said that Georgia doesn't have an ocean. No, because you said that they sail around the Pacific with this thing yeah or the Atlantic and you're looking at me like I'm stupid. You see I'm saying right guys like where I go Georgia. Oh okay and then I was willing to be like oh okay. Never mind I I went in Georgia and I like yeah. I said oh in Georgia and then I went oh I see what you meant my bad yeah and then you were like 39:55 Are you an idiot? Are you are you dog? Are you stupid? It turns out you were dumb. Okay, first of all, first of all, I don't have a defense of this. Okay, first of all, hands up, don't shoot. Yeah, it's weird. If you read a weird or if you read like that, if you make it weird, that's crazy. They have a ship and a bus yeah. Okay, 40:25 So, okay, just I want to recap a couple things here. Okay, yeah, so they're they're opening these delis. They're getting good expansion. And so now they're like, we need to find more and more people to join our cult. So now we're going to start following around bands in this bus. Yes. And where else could we find vagabonds? But at the sea, I don't know where the ocean, what it feels like is a genuinely, that like a pretty big leap. 40:49 What it feels like is one day somebody happened to see that this boat was for sale in craigslist and they came to a justify this somehow gene. I think that's what happened. Okay, um so that was the year two thousand that was the year two thousand gene is still alive in two thousand yeah he's still alive in two thousand running it okay um and so they over the course of the eighties and nineties and early two thousands they continue to expand across the country. 41:17 opening more and more yellow delis right. What's really interesting is you start to see the yellow deli, are they strategic with the locations or is it like at the beginning? It doesn't seem like it. It just seems like they just land wherever they land sure a lot of them begin to close right and what I think is going on is really interesting. You look at them a yellow deli opens. They're in the community. The community gets a little bit of backlash towards them. Yeah, the yellow deli changes its name to common grounds. 41:46 and then backlash goes away. They don't realize it's the same company. And then the backlash rises up. They go back to yellow deli and then the backlash is still there and then they leave the area and then they go somewhere else. Oh, okay. And so it's kind of like if remember in the early 2000s, remember when Carl's Jr started doing all those weird ads? Yes. It's kind of like if Carl's Jr was like, Hey, we're hardies now. And everyone's like, we still know who you are. 42:14 And then they were like, okay, we're actually cause junior. And then they were like, we still know who you are. And they're like, okay, we're going to go somewhere else. Yeah, actually. Why did they use different names? That's not why they weren't turning over to separate restaurants that merged. I looked it up before because it was weird to me. Yeah, but yeah, they just had a merger and you saw the, you saw the ad where they were like, hey, all those ads were weird. Sorry about that. Yeah. They're like, sorry about being weird for a little bit. And then I don't know if you've noticed, but they've started 42:41 being weird again. Did you notice that? I haven't noticed it. They've got a couple of Tik Tok influencers that were like, what if we were weird again? What if we did the weird thing? doing those. That's funny. Yeah. Well, because nothing makes me want a burger more. It's just so weird. So they begin explaining and then guess what? They said, man, we're making all this deli stuff and we're having a source it everywhere. What have you got a farm? 43:09 So they open a farm in Kansas. In Kansas? How far away? Outside of Wichita. Oh, interesting. Yeah, so they open up a farm in Kansas and that's like where they grow all the stuff for the deli. So it's kind of like a bronze mega farm. Do they ship that stuff across the whole country? I'm sure, I'm sure depending on the location, like I'm sure most like the far coastal locations probably aren't getting different. Yeah, they probably have a local supplier and then there's a lot of international that I'm sure they're not shipping to. But I mean, there's a chance. I don't know. I will say that boat. 43:39 there is some and this is uncorroborated. So allegedly this is used in international drug trade for them, but we can't corroborate that drug trade. Yeah. So some people allege that they are selling drugs overseas and they're also purchasing drugs for their religious rights that they do. They do some religious exercises that like wire some illegal drugs psychedelics or I haven't been able to find anything to give me like more information or corroborate that that's true. So I probably shouldn't be saying that in this video, but allegedly that's what they're doing with them. Yeah. 44:09 Okay, uh in this podcast, this audio only podcast. okay, so now is that where their headquarters is? 44:19 their headquarters are still in Chattanooga. Oh, I'm glad you mentioned that. So they got driven out of Chattanooga, Tennessee, because everyone was like you're going to call it they're like we're not. We're not and they're like you're a call and they're like okay, we're no, we're coming grounds. We're not those guys and like yeah, you're the same guys like no, we're yellow deli. We're not those guys and they're like yeah, we don't know. was yellow deli was what you did last time like all right. You got it. I guess we leave Chattanooga for the God given land of Vermont. Actually, Vermont's really pretty. They do go to for me. Yes, they go to Vermont 44:47 and I think this is when they start to really hit. I would live in Vermont tomorrow. Dude, have you been of that never been to Vermont? No dude, I would is it cool? It's so beautiful and I was up there in fall. Oh my gosh dude, incredible. They start opening up all these new locations after they moved to Vermont and what you notice is they have a new strategy and I don't think that there's like this isn't public. This is just something I picked up on and what year is this again? This is general area like time when they moved to Vermont yeah, I think seventy eight 45:17 Oh okay. That was pretty early then yes, they pretty quickly got a lot of hate because here's the deal. There are there is evidence and by evidence. I mean people who have left the call and given their testimony. There's people who have a call and given evidence of what they're doing is they are from six months old and on. They are beating the kids because they want them to be pure and so the plan is have a lot of boys and beat them into purity. 45:47 And so they're literally at six months old is when they teach them to start and they have videos that they like disseminate across the cult of how to beat the kids. And so they show them rods and sticks and here's how you hit them. uh there are when you say B, do you mean like just general spanking or do you mean like no bruising what what some testimonies? Well, what I should say, some court documents have shown is that there are many situations in many of these different communities where they're beating them so much. 46:17 as up to 40 times a day to the point of these children fainting or bleeding and things like that. Like it's it's aggressive beating. Yeah. And so they're teaching them to well, I, and I say that because I think that we do have like, mean, you know, I grew up in Southwest Missouri and there's definitely times where people are like, and they beat their kids and it's like, my dad spanked me. Yeah. And now my parents were going, Oh, we shouldn't have done that. That was not the right call. Yeah. But like, it's not, being, yeah, they're being the kids and they give 46:46 anybody in the community, the right to do that to any child in the community. So if you see any kid do something that is not permitted like it's it's communal raising yeah and it's it's not even like oh you can it's encouraged or honestly almost more like man should like you should beat that kid. If you see them do something wrong and cheese, especially for the boys like for the girls is not as big of a deal for the boys. This arm very important yeah because they're trying to get their hundred forty four thousand yeah um and they 47:15 do child labor. And so there is video that some people who've infiltrated these groups of kids as young as four years old on the farm, 12 hours a day working. And what they say is they're like, they're like, this is part of our community. It's part of our business. They, at some point they opened up a soap factory ah and the soap factory actually grew pretty large and they supplied major brands. And in the late two thousands, it came out that they were using child labor in the factories. 47:45 and all these brands ended up having to pull out. And so they ended up losing their factory because they had so many huge deals with major corporations. And the major corporations obviously found out about that and they're like, well, we can't be involved in this. Not because they had a problem with it, but because of the politics of it. uh And so they started, oh my point here is they're opening a lot of different organizations. The deli, the farm, the soap factory, there's other places where they open 48:14 different types of businesses and communities where they end up in. And the businesses are designed to bring revenue back to the community. And it's grown so large that it's now like a large community that they're shelling all this money into. then that organization at the top is disseminating those funds to keep each of those communities. OK, so it's not like this deli supports this community. It's this deli supports the big community. The big community supports communes. Yes, and funds each of those individuals. And yeah, distributes as they see each has need. 48:45 so if they close a location, probably just move those people a hundred percent. Yeah, they just relocate. Yeah, so it's not like these people are just like okay. I guess I'll figure out where live. Yeah, no, in just it shipped off somewhere and they homeschool obviously yeah, they don't school. Yeah, well, yeah, my problem they do is for rumors. I've heard is that the majority of the adults now in this don't know how to read yeah. They school them, but it's not what we would call school. It's like a form of indoctrination, so they're teaching them about their religious stuff. 49:14 but they're not teaching them anything that they need to be successful in modern society. And so, yeah, so that's another form of abuse in the community. And they are obviously like all these people, they don't have any possessions. And so that's another thing that's really tough is a lot of these people come out of the community, they don't have any skills, don't have any abilities, they have no possessions, they have no community. Like they leave and they have nowhere to go and nothing to do and no ability to figure out. Like, I mean, imagine going into a world at 30 where you don't even know like, 49:43 what alone is like yeah, but you've also been told that everyone in this world is of the devil. Yeah, right. So it's like it's a it's a crazy concept. um What is interesting is in the late seventies early eighties, there was a large um one of one of these, I believe it was Ted Patrick uh put together a big system of D programming's where he would go and find people that were part of the call. 50:12 and deprogram them from the cult. And he did this for years. And as a part of that, was able to put together enough of a case to bring a lawsuit against the cult for the abuses that they had. And as a part of that, there was a prosecutor on that case. The prosecutor on the case that was prosecuting against them by the name of Jean Swanticoe, uh they end up botching the case and they get away with everything because she got Stockholm syndrome and she joined the cult. 50:39 And she became, she became third defender. And so she now defends them in court whenever they end up going, getting these lawsuits brought against them. And ever since she joined, almost every single case that's been brought up against them has been thrown out because she's been able to find ways where there was some sort of misappropriation of justice. so multiple times there has been suits brought against them that have failed because she's now taking the charge for them, which is crazy. And she ended up marrying another guy in the group. 51:09 by the name of Ed Wiseman and Dave. That's crazy. Isn't that wild? 51:18 Hey, thanks for listening to things alone last night. Just so you know, we got a new merch line coming out for this summer, so you've been working on that summer bod and you want to show off how ripped you are. You can get a small t shirt from us or if you've not been working on that summer, but why don't you check out our two X selection? So we do have some really cool designs. I'm actually really proud of them. We got like a honking and bonking shirt. We've got regular things on last night. These are you listen. We don't make a ton of money from this show. This is literally to help cover our expenses, which you know 51:47 like microphones and Alex. so thanks for supporting our show. 51:56 And so they have straight up, they have abused children. There has been a lot of just really terrible things that have happened inside this cult for years. And here's the thing about Colts too. I mean, it's exactly what you're talking about. it's financial abuse where it's like, I'm going to give up all my possessions to join this, which triggers the part of your brain that is like, have sacrificed to be part of this community. Yeah. 52:19 And so it does trigger like a bonding chemical in your body and your brain. Yes. But also it makes again, like we're saying, it makes it impossible to leave. Yeah. You can't, you can't get out because there's the others just, is what are to do? Yeah. Well, this is their choice. They choose to be a part of this and we have the free choice to do that. And we're like, who am I to say that this choice is bad, but what about the kids who are born into this? What about the, what about the, people who were pressured to join this thing or joined it? And it turned out like, 52:48 if you want to leave like if it is a choice, you should have the free ability to leave yeah and it's incredibly difficult to get out and even if you even if like because they control every aspect of your oh yeah life. Once you're in like in your take, where you they dictate or what community live in where you work, what your job is going to do. They assign who you get married to. Well, what's interesting is you're allowed to pursue someone else. The courtship is actually really interesting. You're allowed to pursue who you want to pursue and 53:15 If you're under 18, the rules are you then bring it to your parents and your parents, the parents of both parties get to decide if they think that you're compatible and if they are, then they allow you to begin to take walks together. And then over time you have to go through a series of approvals to approve every next step in the relationship to move from eventually from just taking walks together to holding hands to eventually marriage. If you're over 18, there's what's crazy. 53:43 the entire community has to vote on it and decide if they think that you're compatible and they think it's the right move forward for the community. Because remember, they need to maintain a bunch of male virgins. So what they're trying to weigh, okay, is this a compatible group? Do we think that they will have a bunch of men? And do we think that we can raise them to be virgins? Do we think that they're a good? 54:04 that's a good move. Main so do their main motivation as the cult is to make an army of say their main motivation. That's what I'm saying. Major motivation, a major motivation of the call is to make an army of young men that that are hundred and forty four thousand male virgins. Yes and here's the I do have a while. I was trying to make a social clip out of that and you were like virgins. Yeah, I'm probably gonna put that part the other virgin. Okay, all right. 54:30 Yeah, okay, sorry we could do do it again. No, I did it do it again. Okay, their major motivation is to make a massive army of young virgins. Oh sorry, I tried. So this is I have a picture of their weddings. Here's what a wedding looks like in this cult. Oh, it you know what? So what they do so for everyone listening, I'll explain the image. They're in a grassy knoll 54:59 in a field thing and there's how many people you say like 15? Holding hands in a circle and looks like they're going counterclockwise in the circle. In the middle is a giant toilet paper roll, like a tube, you know what talking about? That's painted to look like the earth. Is this what they think the earth is shaped like? I don't know. And they are circling the thing that is painted to be the earth. On the outside of the circle is a nether. 55:26 It's like a thing that's made out cardboard, like. it's, yeah, it's painted with flames to, I assume, be hell is kept out of the circle. And within the circle, they are protecting the earth. Yeah. That's pretty good. And they all look, hmm, imagine what you think a cult would wear. They don't get haircuts, I guess. They all have long hair? Yeah, the modesty is obviously very important. The women all wear like Amish style dresses. 55:55 The men have a little less like some of them are wearing jeans. There's no skinny clothes. There's no, you know, but most of the men have beards and long hair and look kind of unkempt. Here's another picture, I think from the same ceremony as it moves on. So the toilet paper roll has changed to this cloth hanging down from this ring that says, and they're all still circling it, same 15 people that says resentment disobedient to parents. 56:24 Oh resentment, disobedience to parents, anger, fear, pride, envy. They're all circling this yeah stuff. Is this the bride and groom like the one that's wearing the white covering overhead? I assume yes. Yeah, I don't know which ones the I don't know which one's the grumi. I would imagine the one with a very white pants. That's my guess. That also there's someone a white shirt next to her so so who knows who knows? I think it's whichever one effectively pulls the anger off of the thing I so so what they do is they 56:54 call it um pre enactments, and so what they're doing is they're pre enacting the end of the world and their wedding ceremony, and so this is them triumphing over evil and all the bad things in the world and then disobedient to parents in the end days. We will triumph over little snot rose brats being disobedient to their parents because not only will each of us individually 57:22 beat the crap out of them, but also so will God. What a sad theology so okay, so yeah, so that's that's kind of how the courtship process works. So you are allowed to marry, but like it's just a little different a little. 57:44 So they now have locations. I was getting to this earlier. The way I've noticed and I don't, haven't seen this document anywhere, but it looks like their strategy is one of three things. They are in uh a low college towns. You do see a lot of college towns. You do see a lot of areas where I would call, um, like, I don't know what word for this, like middle of nowhere Appalachia, no or nowhere in Northern Arkansas where it's like, yeah, 58:13 there's not a lot of opportunity and not a lot going on right, not a lot to do uh probably financially difficult area to I imagine they're targeting like apple, Lasha uh specifically like the people who like you know the the people who if they were grew up Christian, they would have done why wham yeah, but because they didn't grow up Christian, they were like I'm going to back backpack across these mountains. Yeah, 58:37 and they're trying to get people on those trails and they got lost in the no, no, no, I bet they're a mountain. No, I bet they're. I bet they're trying to get people who are because there's people who are like they do like the six months journey of the trail or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or I think the other the other area that I noticed that they land is Taurus spots, um which is very interesting to me um and I actually asked because we have a friend that lives in Warsaw and Warsaw's Lake of the Ozarks and you're please go see well. No, I asked him about it. 59:06 I was like have you ever been and he's like oh yeah and he I was like was like do locals ever go and he's like no. He said the only reason a local will go to the yellow deli is to prove to each other that we think it's a cold yeah and he said something. He said something very interesting to me. Zach okay. He said something very interesting to me. ah He said he seems like the type that would do it. He said he said to me he said every bloody I know who has eaten something there. 59:34 has gotten really, really tired afterwards. And he says, we kind of think that they might be putting something in there. And I don't know, like this is just something for one person I know who said this, but he said, but it's happened enough where people have gotten very tired after they've eaten their meal there. And he said, he said, I got a hot dog there once and I was like, red flag. Yeah. And he was like, he's like, I fell asleep in my car afterwards. It was like the middle of afternoon. 01:00:04 here's the thing. That's like a two hour drive. Should we go get sleepy at yellow? I got sleepy yellow down. 01:00:19 That's really fun. I do think we should try to make a field trip at some yeah, that would be worth it. Okay, so where does that leave us now? mean like anything getting done about this doesn't board about or so yellow deli. Okay, okay, okay, so let me follow. Yeah, just I to read. You're going through like a girl in nineteen forty five, nineteen forty five, nineteen forty five on Main Street, Warsaw, 01:00:49 Harry S. Truman took the oath of office two hours after the death of President Franklin D. Roosevelt in what is now the Yellow Deli Cafe. Oh, wow. In Warsaw, which is hilarious to me. I don't think that that was intentional at all, but that's so funny m to me. Yeah, history is very funny. You get what I'm saying, right? So like this isn't... It's hilarious to me. That's hilarious? Hilarious. 01:01:20 Yeah, it's a funny. It's so funny to me. It is like true. is like okay, ah FDR dead. I'm the new president. I need to swear in. Let's go to the yellow deli and everyone's like was that and they're like, but he was will be friends with her. He was okay, so anyway, 01:01:39 all right. I'm not the reason you hate this pod. I just need that to be known back to it. Okay, like that, that's funny. Is that the whole story? Yeah, that's the whole story there. We're not to talk with the you tubers that infiltrated it. Oh yeah, but I don't like them. I was okay. Never mind. I watched their video and they were like where I were worried we're going into the call 01:02:04 like just calm down and just talk normal for like did they get into it though they did and it I mean they became part of the call and there was a moment in the middle of the video that was somewhat interesting because there was a moment in middle of the video where it looked like it was kind of working on the guy. That's what I'm curious. That's what I was curious about his friends had to be like hey this is a joke. This is for this is for the YouTube and he was like he's like yeah I know I know I'm just kind of like you know but then they ended up 01:02:28 in the end of the you can watch it on YouTube. It's not it's not that's fine yet. Okay, but it's not fine. That's whatever, but there was an interesting. There was like the video kind of sucked. The whole episode was pretty bad and there was one part in the middle where he revealed that Harry Truman actually was sord in office in what would one day be the other that's that was so funny thing I've ever heard. Yes, 01:02:53 No, he did try to do a thing. The guy, the youtuber, he went to, think the location in San Diego, he became a member of the call in this, so then he was a part of an own the ownership. So then he said I'm, that's what I was saying is like, I didn't know if you found out how, how would someone, what's the process of joining the cult now? Do you know? I don't like, do you just go to a yellow deli and you're like, Hey, I'd like to join you. I mean, I think it's probably something like that. I haven't seen anything anywhere that talks about what the process I'm sure that on their on yellow deli.com, they're not like, 01:03:23 I have called, you know. But I will say on yellowdelicot.com they have like an employee login, but instead of employee login, it's disciple sign in. That's interesting. That's also what they called our logins at Evangel. So, okay. So they're still alive and well is what I'm saying. Yeah, well died in 2021. I'm trying to set this stuff up, dude. Tell a good story. So Gene died in 2021. died in 2021. They're still out here trying to raise their army of 144,000. Okay. 01:03:52 What I'm curious about, I think happened is that they set that 2027 date after Gene's death. Probably. Because typically what happens with these cults is that the leader passes away and that's where these cults start being like, we're crazy. What is interesting is they, Gene is like a highly regarded figure in the group, but it was never a thing where he was like a cult leader like you normally hear. Jesus is the leader according to them. But Gene is an important elder. 01:04:22 but there's other elders that are on close to equal level. don't know if I don't know if I would say because that's one thing about Scientology is that Elron Hubbard's passing and then then putting in whatever his creepy face is. Yeah, I know what you're talking about who is now like that's a very hard thing for a cult to do is what I had to to move through and so there's how many locations do they currently have you said thirty they have a little over thirty. Do you know how many they had are not in the states anymore? 01:04:51 Most of them are in Canada, the UK, Japan. How many are in the States? ah I mean, they've got probably about a dozen left in the States, but I think what's I think genuinely, I think what's happening is enough people in the States are aware that the dealt the yellow delis of call that and so they've moved somewhere else. So how many do they have at their peak? I'm not sure. Let's find out how many yellow deli. Oh, it says it says thirty three stores total eleven across the United States. Yeah, that's now curious that it's peak since the founding. 01:05:22 the yellow deli has opened at least 33 stores. So it's not like there was like, what I'm saying is that there was never a time where it was like a hundred is what I mean. Yeah, I don't think it was ever that large. I've seen things that talk about how they closed stores and moved. I mean, maybe they still count that as, you know, I mean, if you look at their locations, I counted there's about 30 and so but 01:05:45 I don't know how many they've ever ever had. I was. didn't know if there was a time where they had like seventy at one point. Now they've shrunken yeah, I don't know, but because I don't think they're. I don't think they're closing. Has anyone closed since they found her died? I actually don't know, so I well, I do know actually because I did look up on Google Maps and there was one in Lawrence, Kansas that's close now, so they have closed at least recent enough to be on Google Maps and still listed, but listed as permanently closed. 01:06:14 That is crazy man, um so they're out there, they're kicking. They shouldn't be. You probably shouldn't have a mug from them. Well, that's what I'm saying is that like, you know, I bought it because it was like the joke of them being a cold. I really bought it before I knew anything else about the cold. Yeah for sure, and I think that's, think that's what happens with a lot of people because I think a lot of people don't realize it's just a commune and you said like that's you know, it's not that big of a deal. Whatever yeah, if there's 01:06:43 systematic abuse and you find out that that's actually like a pretty major problem, an actual cold, cold and I think that's what I think a lot of people here. It's a call. They go eat the food and I hear the food's actually really good yeah and then yeah and you can it's kind of a fun experience, but it's like it's a funny little all the all the college kids really were just like yeah go try. It's good yeah yeah and it's kind of like okay yeah and it was it was good yeah, but a weird 01:07:11 Yeah, but the lady is I did pay at the end. First of all, they do take credit card. Good for them. And I paid. Well, they have to do the whole roll the ink over it thing. And that didn't work because I have an MX platinum. And so so nothing happens. You actually have the black card because I'm very rich. No, but she took my card and then when she handed it back to me, I fell off. 01:07:34 I went, And she goes, have a good day. And I was like, that didn't even rhyme. David, it sounded like you were doing something. It sounded like you were trying to do a thing. And she was like, no, fiddle off. 01:07:53 Hey, that's the story of the yellow deli cult. If you liked the cult story, you want to learn about another crazy story like that, we did a whole episode about Scientology and the founder Elron Hubbard. So you can go check out that episode. And if you want next week's episode now, you can join our cult on Patreon. And we promise it's not crazy and weird. It's just a normal 01:08:14 You know, And once you join, can't leave. So you can do that at tilland.com slash join. You get next week's episode for free right now. Not for free, you pay us. But you get to, you get ad free is what I meant. No ads and you get to join our discord. And anyway, it's a really good time. Thanks for supporting our show. Thanks for sharing this with somebody. That's a really big deal too. So we'll see you next week on Things Alone Last Night.


The Yellow Deli looks like a cozy sandwich shop at first glance. Its handmade wood furniture, rustic décor, and warm teas attract students, travelers, and locals alike. But behind the welcoming atmosphere lies a much deeper, and more controversial, story. The Yellow Deli is connected to the Twelve Tribes community, a religious group that many describe as a cult. The … Read More

The Prank That Lasted 3 Years | Velocity Gnome Ep 283

08-19-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of calling pope calling pope calling pope? Okay, I just I also I need to acknowledge to you and to all of the fans at home that I am guaranteed going to call this guy calling just a thousand times in this episode. Sure, sure, sure, because and I know this because I've googled him over and over again and been like, why is this calling? Why am I getting on this calling Joe stuff? Okay, is it con just or con yost? 00:28 It's a Colin yoked, Cone. There's a kid of Colin Jones. This account is Colin yoked. There's a Tim in my high school whose last name is just okay. Find them. But and now that I'm saying this out loud, I'm not sure if this is right anymore either, but I'm pretty sure he pronounced it. Yes. Good story. I a call and pope sure. 00:58 Today you die. Unless... Like he's the Riddler. Like he's a Batman villain. Unless... You can run a perfect chance. Shucks! Best it again! 01:29 I was like, oh, I was a dumb story. I got a lot of now because we had a couple of videos that hit pretty hard on YouTube and and there's what the show is. They're really trying to give us a shot. There's someone who's like, I really want to. I really liked that short, but the longs are not good. Yeah, so calling Poe, renouncing longs. 01:51 Colin Yope, you he was a kid in the early two thousands. Okay, he and a little bit about him. He is a little like I well. I don't want to say nerd, but he's not popular two thousands yeah early years he born. I don't know what year he was born, but what I can say like our age. No, he's older than us. He was in high school in two thousand like two. Okay, so like yeah, so I guess I just say you mean like a high school. mean a high school kid. Yeah, I got a guy and now it 02:21 He was, he was not a nerd, but not cool. Like he was kind of somewhere in the middle, like a little geeky, but not like weird, like, know what I'm saying? Like, he had like the middle of the crowd. Yeah. Yeah. He had, he had some like popular kids kind of interest. He also had some nerdy kid kind of interest. He kind of dabbled the road, the fence. So call it one Yeah. He's just hanging out in his room doing whatever he does. Probably on a O L on AIM. Yeah. I was going to say, yeah, that's going to be probably AIM. 02:50 and he hears a knock as dressing about possibly getting drafted for the new war that's being talked about. It's chosen to. don't know. They're I mean he's like sixteen so like he's probably not gonna. I know he's like I know W this thing's gonna last twenty years. You might have been thinking about enlisting though. Honestly, I don't know. I don't know his personality sure, but I mean there's a chance. I feel like you know more about him than I do. I mean I do, but I don't know enough to know if you would have invested in the war on terror. I don't know. Okay, 03:19 Well, what would you have done? That was the whole the whole two thousands was just that show called. What would you do? What would you do? It's a big. What would you do? Would you join the war on terror? Would I? I mean mission accomplished. Okay, so here's a knock at the door. God won this war, so he hears a knock at the door. He's probably on a I M or something. His mom yells upstairs, 03:48 And it's like, Colin, someone's at the door for you. He says he's from the future. And he's like, oh, yeah, I got to find out what that's about. Are you not joking right now? I'm dead serious. That's what she said. 04:05 That's how she would say it to that's a two thousand to where is this app? You said he's in Chicago the oh so be like a little bit northern accent like Colin, Colin, someone's at the door, you know, yeah and then or there was the next line. Colin. Okay, yeah, somebody's at the door for you says he's from the future. All right, my dog talked to me like that. 04:35 It's Bob's of the Chicago. I can tell your future. Yeah, can tell your future. The mom. Okay, so he goes downstairs, gets to the door, opens the door and there's a guy on one knee and he says, okay, I am. 04:56 Will you be my future? Is that what you talk about? He says, call it my once and future king and he says I have brought kneeling like for a king. Yeah, yeah and he says, he says, I brought you a package and he gives him the delivery and cons like okay, thanks and he says, he says, we'll be in touch and then he'd leave, we'll be in touch and then he leaves. Colin goes upstairs, opens up the package and the pack first of all really funny, but you somebody 05:25 because all you got to do is go to their mail and then you know their name. All you got to do is just walk up to a house and grab their mail yeah and then hand them their mail. 05:39 here's thy mail. It never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. I want to whale hail the king. Yeah, yeah, I get you. Okay, so it was good. So I think it's a really funny bit to do to somebody's run. It's a really funny bit, but wait till you hear this. So he goes upstairs. This is unmarked. What's in the package, an unmarked package. He opens it up and it's a scrapbook. 06:08 Okay. He starts flipping through the scrapbook and it's a very interesting thing because the scrapbook tells the story of Colin's life. Got it. And what's strange about it is you flip through the early pages and it's real. Like there's photos of him and his friends and events from his life and things that have actually happened. Like it's like this, whoever made this knows intimately about me and my life. And then as it progresses, it 06:38 goes past the point in time where he's at and goes through a story where he ends up becoming the saver of humanity. Right. That over the course of his life, robots end up gaining sentience, try to overtake the world, and he ends up defeating the robots and he's like the savior of mankind. That's the story in this scrapbook. Here's the thing about the time travel stuff though, right? Is... 07:06 Let's say that happens. Yeah. 07:14 Okay, we're in the time loop, right? Okay, yeah. All right. Okay. All right. Let's there's a robot takeover. Okay, right. We're in the time loop because like does he does he defeat the robots and the people like how did you do it? And he says a time traveler visited me when I was in high school. Right? So then someone has to time travel to him in high school or does he just do it and they're like we need to go find you in the past. Yeah. 07:42 to make sure you know this your destiny risking messing up the whole thing, the time line. That's what I'm saying at what which you know it's a run ask it makes sense. It is messy. Yeah, you could. What do you think Alice you could next you could you could mix it up, but it's it's but that's what I'm saying is like you could ruin the yeah. I think as you hear the rest of the story like it makes sense logically why this event would happen yeah yeah because I think it fits into the story. If it's into the not real 08:12 it fits into the story, but what I will say is I think that I think the situation where you do go back is where things went horribly wrong in reality and you go back to try to fix it, you know, and so like he didn't actually save the world, but you go back and you tell me that he's the person who could yeah got it to then maybe make him start to train. It's like he had a moment where he could have done it, which we've talked about this in the podcast too before. Everyone says they go back and kill Hitler yeah, 08:40 Right? Have we talked about how like if Hitler is still in our timeline and there is time travel, that means something worse happened. Yeah. And someone went back and killed that person. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Isn't that crazy to think about? That is crazy to think about. Probably no time travel. Probably more realistic that it's not time travel and that the horrible atrocities committed there were terrible no matter. 09:07 There's comparing it to other events. However, Stalin got out of that pretty unscathed on the PR movement. Yeah, they did a good job PR on that. Anyways... I'm you finished that sentence. They did a good job. So he reads this whole thing, and it's a very striking moment for him because obviously, like I said, it's covered in a lot of information about his life and a lot of intimate details about who he is. 09:33 I mean, it's kind of it's a scrapbook. So there's that are handwritten. There's parts that are painted. There's parts that are like cut out. 09:41 There's even a page reopens and it has a little pop up and it's him finding a robot and he's like wow. It actually plays the music yeah. It's like futuristic music which you don't even know it's like because I mean like think about the music we listen to now opposed to like even like a nineteen fifties and it's like it's just stuff like changed. This is what kids listen to. You can't judge the kids of the future. These kids like this generation K or whatever. He's sixteen and he's like 10:05 man, these kids and their noise, is that how he talks man these kids. So his mom, Colin, you get somebody at the door and then they're like my king and he's like dang these kids listen to bad music. That's so I just wanted to make sure I'm defining the characters correctly for us to tell this story. Yeah, these kids listen to bad stuff. So Colin is perplexed by this. Yes, he thinks it's kind of fun now and so 10:32 He's kind of fun. He's active on this forum called Something Awful. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it was like it was somewhere in between Reddit and 4chan. Like it wasn't as bad as 4chan, but it was definitely worse than Reddit. Yeah, definitely not. But it was before both of those. So he was active on there. And so he posts like the whole thing. He scans every page into his computer, posts the whole thing on the Something Awful forums. And overnight it goes. 11:02 mega viral for that time. Like it had like a hundred thousand hits, which was real in that era. And he, he obviously got a lot of attention. Same way the internet always worked. He got positive and negative attention for this. Right. Um, was kind of a fun event, but then that was kind of the end of it. It lasted a couple of weeks and he just forgot about this moment until a year later, forgot about the time a guy came and you know I'm saying? Like, talk, mean, I, I, 11:35 Oh, that's right at my front door, the claiming to be from. Oh, dang, I got those mixed up. was. Yeah, the day he doesn't forget about it, but it's like it just kind of becomes a weird thing that happened. You know, it's like that was a weird one day. That was a one really weird day. Yeah, but that was it until a year later. He gets a call and. 11:59 it's that same man who is at the door, which by the way his name is Zane Figgey, Am he introduces himself Zane Zane Figgey Am Zane is a pretty Gen Z name, so they nailed that actually is a Gen Z person. How far in the future they come back? I mean it's it's it's only far enough for him to have been the savior of mankind, so like he has to be at least an able body male when this comes around when whatever event body mail. 12:29 I mean he is a male so I guess that last part was a just said we're not one of those pod. That's Like he's not even able hearing that like. 12:43 dude, the people who were like oh females, don't ever say that he's an able bodied person. Okay, I made a joke on. I made a joke online about how you know, because here's the thing is that my wife is prettier than I am yeah, and so people will joke and be like wow. How did you know how that guy pull that off? He must be rich because they think that's all women want, but the reality is is that I just at your right. Just 13:10 wipe the sink down and I don't listen to Joe Rogan. I made that post. The number of people who commented in the comments and then confirmed everything about this post, they would say stuff like, actually females and you're just like, nope, I don't even need to read the rest. You just confirmed it, you dork. Yeah, and then you asked like, hey, are you seeing anybody? They're like, no. You know, I didn't even have to ask. I was like, no one's seeing you. 13:38 it's like do my wife makes me wash my face because she cares about me. You know it's like dude. I can tell from your grimy skin that no one's telling you you look bad. That's how you can tell someone single by the way you were like hey. You don't have anybody to destroy yourself to tell you I wife. You know what I'm not even going to say what my wife said because then you won't you won't be able to unsee it because every time I look in the mirror I go shoot 14:03 ah dang. So I'm not going to tell you. I mean, I mean she's not gonna see anyway. She listens on the audio podcast instead of watching the YouTube experience of this show. Sorry, so that's so funny. So but that's what I So Zane, which is a nineties, two thousand name, also a Gen Z name, but how old is Zane that came to Nils on the door? That's a good question. I'm not having on that. I mean, I mean 14:32 Zane like, oh, I think I so you're asking how old he was like a Neil. Yeah, no, no, no. I'm saying like, Zane like a like a like an older guy who's like no Zane alongside each other, you know, or it's like a twenty something. Okay, that's I'm wondering. Yeah, yeah. So he's a younger guy. Yeah, he's a younger guy. So a year after Zane proposes on the front porch. So a year after his hate is on one knee in front of the front porch. 15:02 Does it is like a year to the date? I don't know if it's a year to the day. I just know it's like a year later. sometime later, sometime, sometime about a year later. Okay, okay. Yeah. He gets a call by from Zane and Zane like very cryptically tells him that there's going to be a big event that happens in Minneapolis and he needs them to be. He needs him to be there soon. Colin, he needs Colin to be in Minneapolis soon. And so he's like, I need you to be prepared for this event. And so Colin is like, 15:30 Okay, hey, long time no see. Remember that time you kneeled on my doorstep? We don't have time to talk about this. Get to the twin cities. And so a couple days later, an envelope shows up on his doorstep. No, no marking or anything on it. And in the envelope is just a plane ticket to Minneapolis. And so Colin says at this point, by the way, a little bit more information in the course of this year, Colin drops out of high school and now he's got a job. He's still living at home with his parents, but it's like this high school thing isn't for me. 15:59 he found himself a job and he's like yeah, he's a robot one day. I don't know I in biology. What do I need a GED for my teacher gave me a C and I was like I'm not going to spare your life. You know I'm talking about like could you imagine starting a teacher and you're like you turning your homework. I don't need to I'm going to save humanity the world. I'm a sixteen year old. You're the savior of the future and then him being like 16:24 Heck yeah, dude, I'm going to quit my job. We're a hardware store right now so I can learn what they're made of. I'm just in limbo. Oh, I used to sell your guys. How about that? How about that? That's crazy. So he says, what the heck? I'm going to take some time off work. Okay, and I'm going to take this unsolicited ticket to Minneapolis. 16:52 sure go fly there. Hey boss, not coming in on Tuesday. Gotta go to Minneapolis. Oh for like a like a conference or you know, you know, you met a girl up there, met a girl that no it's a zane from the future. He gave me a play ticket, gave me a plane ticket. Just going to kind of see what's going on. Yeah, might as well go check it out. He told me something big is about to happen there. 17:19 Yeah, so keep your eye on the news, because I think I'm going to do so your eye on the news. I'm going to put a kid in a balloon. Can you imagine that though, being the boss at ace hardware who all year this kid's been talking about how he dropped out of school and then he says the robots yeah he's like he's like oh yeah time traveler and it's a crazy and that's my fear dude when crazy people say something all it takes is one of them to be like yeah. 17:45 Yeah, I am going to defeat the robots and I got a plane ticket to Minneapolis and you're like, okay. And then you see them on the news freaking. Yeah. You know, well, I think, I think I get, I'm the boss at ACE hardware, that kid calls me after a year of him talking about him beating the robots and watching him play with all the electronics in the store, I'm calling the FBI and being like, Hey, think one of my employees is going to bomb Minneapolis. think he's going to do something in Minneapolis. 18:16 In the early days of this show, we did like affiliate ads where we were like a sign up for grammarly and use code till and and we got like fifteen cents and now we just do patreon. It's a much better way. It's better for us as creators. It's better for you as listeners and it's a much more fun way for us to interact. We do monthly hangouts like on zoom. We just hang out and play games online and and get to know each other. It's a really fun time so 18:43 but still use our code till in at grammerly dot com because I think it's still I might get like a couple cents from that, but join us on patreon because we're having a great time. Yeah, if you don't, we're going to have to start doing mobile game ads. 19:00 So he goes and he lands in the airport, gets out the plane and there's fighting those little, you know, those little robot dogs that came with your McDonald's meals back then. You got to, you got from your lunch break, you bought a happy meal because you think it's better for you and it's fewer calories. It's still too much and you put it down and you're like, look at this and then you know, freaking Colin just across the room looking at it. You hear him in there. 19:32 back at the room later that day and he's like just beaten it. It's like what are you doing training? You come later, he's waterboarding it waterboarding it dude. It's a I got to the information. 19:47 it's two thousand three. Where is he trying to find? Well, they don't know about it. They haven't learned. Yeah, he did. There's a letter because he knew. Yeah. Yeah. Zane told them Zane also said also by the way, we're to get Osama. Don't worry about it. I told the guy next door. said, hey, we're to make a lot of jokes and I need you to tell me. Can I say, can you hear us yelling Osama bin Laden and he's like no, I said we got to yell louder than 20:18 I didn't hear say that part. He goes, no, I don't hear you guys. Oh my gosh. Okay, so he gets off the plane and he goes to baggage claim. Yeah, there's a guy standing at the door and the guy standing at the door like in the little tuxedo hat with the card and everything tuxedo hat. Yeah. And it says, it doesn't say Colin Pope. It says velocity gnome, which is his username online. And he's like, that'd be like you're showing up somewhere. They're like subway king. 20:48 that's crazy dude, and he's like that's me. That's I mean who else would velocity gnome be so he tells him that he's the gatekeeper. He's like I'm the gatekeeper. I'm here to help you on your quest and he says on the drive back. He said there's going to be a is this is an elaborate game for this weird so reddit 21:16 I don't want to be your driver for this quest. He says he says I've got a he says I'm taking you to your hotel for your stay and he says I've got a cipher that I need you to decipher on the drive back and so he gives him this puzzle in the car and he decyphers it really elaborate promposal by some girl in his class. She started in a year earlier and then he dropped out and she was like oh break. 21:42 I was just trying to ask him to prom and I got him to drop out of high school. Oh no, no. 21:54 And so then she's like okay, we need to keep doing the plan, but this time we got to convince him to go back to school. She's like I already paid for the hotel and the deposit and maybe this part of it could be like any and it turns out you can't strike the final blow on the robot without a high school diploma and a three point two GPA. Hey, come on, you're just asking too much. Okay, sorry and so he gets back to the hotel 22:22 and they check in the hotel and when it gets there, there's a crossword puzzle. And it's like, have to solve this crossword puzzle. 22:32 and so he posts a picture of the crossword puzzle on the for talking about. He was a picture of the class would puzzle on the We need you to decipher this code and he's never been like B S you 23:00 be sure to drink your old thing. Is it that's a hundred percent where we're going, so where is someone comes and kneels at your front door goes 23:18 you are the chosen one and then it's just like here's two coke, two coke, two coke, not even coupons. It's a hundred points. a hundred points to get a free coke. Oh, okay. I just spit. I just dropped out of high school and spent three years on this. I have a whole huge following on lines trying to decode what this whole thing is. 23:49 you can trade seven million of those in for a jet. Just kidding, just kidding so it's crazy. So you saw he puts so on wait, just to recap that so he gets so now he's he gets the airport. He's in guys got this user name and is like I've lost whoever yeah give him a cipher. Yes, just the hotel. He's like here's a crossword. This is starting to sound like a very elaborate proposal. It does sound like an elaborate 24:20 proposal. Okay, so he solves the crossword puzzle, but he kind of cheats. He puts it on the something awful forum and he solves it with it with his forum friends. And then the next day he comes back and the gatekeepers there and he's like, did you figure out the crossword? And he tells them a cave in this like new marring hood. He's got his hands together. You know, thing where like the cloak covers his hands. Did you solve the crossword? And so call it tells them it's like an 24:50 numeric code. He's like one one four three two nine or something like that. And the guy, the gatekeeper is like very good. And so then thank you. And so he drives him to a diner in downtown Minneapolis and it drops him off there. He's nothing cooler than a diner to be honest. It's actually very accurate. And he says Zane's in there. 25:14 And he says they've got a table set up for you, Yeah, dude. It's like neon lights, a diner, like the jukebox is playing something. walks in, Zane's sitting over with a cup of coffee, just... 25:37 Oh, what a sight for sore eyes. Hello, Velocity Gnome. 25:45 you know, say it no. We're just bet yeah, he stands up salutes him. I think of the things is looking around like what is happening over there? Okay, no, so they tell him that zanes and they're just asked for him and so he walks up to the hostess boot table and he tells him he's here for zane, looking for zane. Okay, you're at that table over there and so they walk on there like looking around and I like is 26:10 it doesn't happen to be the guy and like futuristic body on that right weird guy over there doesn't happen to be that guy with a weird guy. He's been on one knee this whole day. He's been here for a guy with a sword right, but it's like a toy sword and those like you know those sunglasses that are just one line. It's like line so dumb. It's like we know like you that's not doing anything for you. You know, is it him 26:36 Yeah, so she she's like, OK, I'll take you to this table. And so she takes him to his table. He sits down and the guy sitting across from him, he thinks is going to be Zane. And the guy says, are you Zane? And he's like, no, I'm Colin. And he's like, oh, I'm Tyler. He's like, but they keep calling me Shaxx. It's like, yeah, they keep calling me velocity. No. And he's like, weird. And so they start talking and they realize the same thing's been happening to both of them. Like they both have. 27:04 gotten and then the waitress comes drops off a little note. They flip it over and it says fight to the death. It just says kill each other. Kill each other and it's the robots who have formed this elaborate plan to get him there and so long story short, the waitress comes back and she's 27:32 does slide them. I hate when I'm ahead of the story. That's crazy. What is the note says she slides on a note and it's a note from zane and zane basically says hey, I'm not going to be there today. I'm glad you guys met shags. He's like shags, he says velocity, you know, he says velocity, no shags is your right hand man. 27:55 and you guys are going to end up in the future. Your number two, I quit just then if I found out I wasn't the guy I've here to just be like you're telling me someone shows up my front door to give me a scrapbook of my future. I they fly me to Minneapolis. I out of high school. I'm working at Lowe's and then I come out of here for no reason and then I sit here and he go you're his right hand man. No 28:21 I dropped out of school for this. I'm the hero. I gotta be the you know or nothing. I can only imagine that's how you must feel. That's how I always feel, so he tells them that their their teammates. He's his right hand man and he says hey, I have a my right hand by the way. You know this is my right. This is my right hand. Also, we are. We both have a right hand on this side. This is both of our right hands. Yeah, 28:50 we had to flip the whole room around so that we both can have each other on the right so he can both be each other's right. Yeah, it's the whole thing. We're fifty one fifty one partners. It's a whole thing. We don't have the confidence to be number two. Neither of us something that we deep hole inside of us. Neither our parents really loved us enough. They loved us arguably sometimes too much, but not enough in the ways that we needed. And so now we're both sitting here. Both need to be the best deep 29:20 sorrow inside of us and Tim had a kid to try to fill his, but that has worked out and he's got a career. Do you have a career? It's actually really well, it's actually and actually every time that anxiety is like every time I go, I go, I'm really good at this. 29:49 I go oh yeah, I'm rich. That's what sucks man. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes life gets hard and you know, sometimes things are stressful and I sit back and I go oh yeah, I'm rich and like that's the whole thing dude. It's all mindset when you see these trad wife accounts on online like the the what I forget what her name is something ballerina. 30:19 And she's got like that $65,000 stove in her house or whatever. And then you're like, man, that's crazy. And sometimes as a man, go, shoot, I feel like I should probably earn more so that my wife could stay home because it is very appealing to be able to just raise kids and be able to be home. And then you go, her husband's the son of the CEO of JetBlue. Yeah, so that helps. Oh. 30:49 life is a we my wife, we're talking about like money can't buy happiness, but money does pay for all the things that make me unhappy to go away. You know I'm saying that's true. That's true money doesn't buy happiness, but it pays for the unhappy stuff to disappear. Yeah, yeah, that's true anyways. So the sorry oh it got to real. Tim doesn't know what it is because I don't like. I don't like feelings 31:15 I know. That's back to what we're saying. Our parents loved us too much in certain areas, but not enough in the other. And now when we get too close to big feelings that are very scary, we go, but not me, I'm rich. I don't feel. So pay for those feelings to go away. So he's the right hand man. He's the right hand man. So now is it just kind of like, okay, where is Zane? Zane's not there. 31:44 Zane wrote them the letter and Zane said I need you guys to find there's a device in a robot locally. I need you to find it in the robot locally in one of the local bots. What does that even mean? So they have to go on this search and they go they go downtown. They see a robot spray painted silver 32:10 it's just a dude like a street performer and they beat the tour out of like freaking rocked his world. Yeah, I know what they decided slightly different plan. They're like give us the letter slightly slightly different plan for them. They went to Chuck E. Cheese's and they said oh there's robots there and 32:33 That is not serious. they go to the... Okay. Okay, shags. So there's going to be a total takeover of the robots. They're going to destroy humanity. Where should we start? I think we should start with... 32:55 can't remember his name. Dadgummit. What's the pizza guy's name? Oh, I was trying to pull out that. I was trying to pull out the freaking Pops the Skully or whatever his name is. The mustache, the guy on the drums, right? Oh yeah, it's like, yeah. Pascoli. Pascolis. We're going to start with Pascoli. Yeah. Dang it, I couldn't get it. It was really funny. It was good. You want to try again? I'll laugh. Oh! If you do it, All right, let's edit it. Robots are about to take over the world. Yeah. When are we going to start? 33:28 I remember his name. 33:33 See it's always a simple bit that gets ten so okay, so they got a chicken cheese. They go to the little the little stage with all the with all the robots. They start digging through their pockets. 33:51 I 34:06 took a while for me to notice too. took a while. You did a lot of that. 34:16 because they find another clue yeah in the pockets of one of the animatronics right and shut up and in the pot like so okay. 34:31 imagine you work at Chuck E Cheese Yeah and you're just at your job and cleaning up the pee in the ball pit. So young and I look over and there are two teenagers to seventeen, eighteen year old boys. Yeah, just what's he got? What's he got their freaking? Hey guys, can I help you? Excuse me, excuse me, one a we're on an interdimensional mission right now or save it the world. Okay, 35:01 you can help by backing off and you're like thirty two. You were good. Chucky cheese. Yeah, you know what you know what you do in that situation. You go all right. You walk away. You say I don't care. You're right. You're right. I couldn't care less. I am in your way. Yeah, that's what my dad used to say anyways. So they they find this new clue and the clue eventually they saw that they figured out it's leading them to a nearby forest. 35:29 But before they leave the Chuck E Cheese, someone approaches them and says, I'm supposed to give this to you and it's a package. What were their instructions? The person who says I was supposed to give this to you. When you see some kids dig through the robot pockets, my once and future king, please go to the Chuck E Cheese on Glenstone. You'll find two young men saviors. 35:57 Once they find the clue, do not help them, do not help them, hand them this. Your mission has been set. What the heck? Okay, is this all going to come together at the end? Yeah, okay. And so it's an ad, it's an ad, it's an ad, I'm calling it right now. So they're, they open up the package. So wait, so someone to chuggy cheese is like, here you go. 36:21 Yeah. So they told me to give you this. Yeah. They told me I'm supposed to give you this. Okay. And it's a package. It's an unmarked package. They open up the package and there's two items in it and a note and the note says for shags I've given you a video camera to document what you're about to do. And so there's an it's a 2003 and all 2003 camp like camcorder. Yeah. And then for Colin or velocity gnome as they're calling him I've given you a memo pad to take notes of what you're about to see. 36:51 We want this well documented and multiple platforms so that way we don't lose con or lose the information of what we're seeing sure. So they go back outside the gatekeepers waiting for them. He drives them to the woods and drops them off. Okay, he drives them. Where's the parents? Where's the parents to be like? He's your son in a couple days. 37:20 Yeah, I think is in Minneapolis, the world accepted a random flight to Minneapolis. 37:28 and I think he's in the woods with Shag. Oh, all right. Well, as long as we know where he is cool, it's two thousand three. Did you tell to be home after dark? Come on, come back with the street lights. on. So they go into the woods. They walk pretty far into the woods on the trail. The gatekeeper leaves them and so it's just the two of them walking in the woods and what they're told from the note that in the other package says that they're looking for a red X. 37:57 and so and they need. Oh, it did say to bring a shovel, so they're walking in the woods with a shovel. The two of them looking for her at X and in stories about this, they said they were getting a lot of weird looks from other people because it's like a trail. It's like a public trail. Okay, it's night time. No, this is the day. Okay, it's daytime. They're walking through like a public trail with sure with a show and so they walk in the woods and they find one of those red exes like spray painting on the ground and so Colin or velocity now 38:27 You can call him gnome. Gnome goes and he starts to dig and almost immediately hears like a clang when he when he you know, okay, that's on the show and we don't know if like the ground was like solid or we just know he dug up. We just know his red X. We know there's a red X. We know he shoved his shovel red X pretty much immediately. They heard the clang. Yeah. And then so dug it up and there was a black lock box sitting in there. He pulled it out. 38:54 and they both realized they didn't have a key or any way to open it. They're talking about what they're going to do to try to figure As they're talking, another person's walking on the trail and goes, think I'm supposed to hand you this key? Hey, I was just praying back there and I think I'm supposed to give you my house key. They don't know that I have a pocket full of pepperoni right now. 39:24 I forget which episode we talked about today. That's crazy. Yeah, I have no idea what the context is of that, but I remember the joke. So they're kind of talking about what they're going to do, how they're going to get this thing open. And then Shag's like takes a step back and he pulls out like a phaser and he points it at Colin and he says, he says, today you die. And he tells him to put the lock box down. 39:52 and he basically confesses to him that he's not shags, that he's someone named Maggie Hark and he's actually a robot and he says he's brought him here to kill him and he says the only way that you will survive is if he pulls out a 20 sided die and he's like you roll a successful chance roll and you escape. This is an elaborate Dungeons and Dragons. 40:17 And so call it takes the die and he rolls it and it's successful and so so Maggie shags or Maggie Hark goes rats and literally runs away like just runs out of the woods and leaves it there alone in Minneapolis and a city he's never been with this black lock box and his twenty sided die and he's just like what is going on? So he leaves the woods today you die. 40:47 unless like he's the riddler like he's a batman villain, unless you can run a perfect chance shocks best it again and that he gets you next time batman. What are you talking about? 41:14 so he runs away. I have given you so many good topics for this podcast and you're sitting here going they're in the woods and a robots looking at him and he's like today you die. That's what you do. Just wait, I have doused myself in water. I am sitting in a puddle right now for this show and you can't give me more than eyes holding a box and to kill by a robot. 41:41 at the end they go happy sweet sixteen. What are you like? What is happening? Yeah, yeah, I mean sorry about it. 41:50 Okay, so he's left in the woods. He walks back out the trail with the lock box and his memo pad. The Maggie ran away with the camera so he doesn't have any of the video from the day. Okay, which is unfortunate, but what he does have is the memo pad. He does have the lock box and he does have the dice or the die. The 20 side die. He goes back out. The driver's gone. 42:19 He's just in Minneapolis alone. has to find his own way home. He's figuring it out. I don't know what happens, but he ends up getting home, getting got back to Chicago, got back to Chicago. Eventually he got into that lock box and found another scrapbook and this scrapbook had even more information about his story. And essentially what it tells him is that there's this massive ongoing event that has been unfolding throughout history. 42:49 involving him and what had happened was sometime in the near future robots became sentient they took over the planet and He was leading the charge like a general for the humanity fighting against the robots in the war Okay, and then he had a son and his son was named Zane and so that same Zane who reached back out to him was his son Okay, and what happened was him and his son had kind of this estranged relationship because he was never around because he was fighting in the 43:19 And you know what's fun is I feel like you believe this. 43:26 can see it in your eyes a little bit, you know, because sometimes we do these stories that I just don't buy lately. Oh of course, but this one you're just like he had a son. 43:37 Much like I've got a son. Yeah, it's different now that I'm a father. I view this differently. 43:46 Zane, so he's really the scrapbook. He has the sun zade him and zade have a bad relationship, yeah, because he's always out warring. Then one day they take a father son camping trip and so they do they repair their relationship, repair their relationship like son in the middle of the road. You know where the robots can't get us the woods in the woods and so they go on this camping trip and something happens on this camping trip where dad has to take a phone call or something for the war. 44:14 and so he ends up having to get separated from the war. He's doing some war thing. Ring, ring, hello. Hello, it's the war. 44:28 sorry audience. The war sorry honey. It's the war gotta go. War is calling color ID says war guide. It says war or sounds a lot like a woman. Get the year just war sounds a lot like a twenty eight year old woman. Follow that. What are you talking about? That's having an affair is what I'm saying and he's calling her war. It's him and one or 44:59 Oh no, oh no, he gets separated from his dad on this camp trip is the point okay, and as a part of that separation, he ends up getting attacked by robo bears and the robo bears attack him and they deeply mutilate him and they turn him into a cyborg and they ring. They take him in as one of their own. 45:24 and they read everybody. Don't worry about me over here. Keep talking about Robo Bears. They rename him Maggie Hark and this is a go re there. We are Matt. Okay, wait, wait, wait. He gets attacked by robot bears, yeah, Robo Bears, Robo, right, and he gets turned into a robot. He gets turned into a cyborg, so they rip him to shreds right and then they give him Robo parts to fix him kind of like 45:51 Darth Vader. Yeah, I've seen it, but like a Frankenstein type situation. Yeah, so they bring him back to life as part robot, part human and they say you want to is dark later part robot, part human. I mean yeah spoilers. It's not really a spoiler. It's anyways, I guess it is a little bit of a spot anyways. I've never seen it. I know you have it. So then they say hey, you want to kill your dad and he's like matter of fact, I have for a long time. He's kind of mean he's 46:19 Houston on his time with the war. Yeah, he just let me get attacked by robot fairs while he's off talking some twenty eight year old. We all know it's not the war. First of all, let's be real. That dad's having an affair. 46:38 See 46:45 Hey, thanks for listening to things alone last night. Just so you know, we got a new merch line coming out for this summer, so you've been working on that summer bod and you want to show off how ripped you are. You can get a small t shirt from us or if you've not been working on that summer, but once you check out our two X selection, so we do have some really cool designs. I'm actually really proud of them. We got like a honking and bonking shirt. We've got regular things. I last night. These are you listen. We don't make a ton of money from this show. This is literally to help cover our expenses, which you know 47:15 like microphones and Alex. so thanks for supporting our show. 47:24 Okay, so Maggie what Maggie Hark is what they named them the bears, the bears bear said you want to kill your dad, your Maggie Hark. Now the bears were like you, Maggie Hark and he was like I am Maggie Hark, the Robo bears. They can talk okay. They're not dumb. I don't know where the story goes, so they're like you want to kill your dad yeah and he's like yeah, I'll go do it right now. They're like no, no, you have to do it a little earlier. Yeah. So what happens is 47:52 They then get involved in this wide ranging timeline of Maggie and Velocity. No, I'm trying to kill each other. And so there are pages and upon pages upon pages of, of Colin Pope. Okay. And that Zane guy he met Photoshop, but Zane's like Photoshopped as like a cyborg and then Maggie or, then Colin. 48:19 throughout history at like famous moments throughout history fighting each other. And what is happening is Maggie is consistently defeating velocity, know, like cause he's just a person versus the cyborg. And so there's just this constant battle of like all throughout history, their time travel traveling and battle like history, like going back in time. Yeah. Yeah. So there's like, there's like footage of them or I shouldn't say footage, but like photos in this scrapbook of them and like 48:49 ancient Rome fighting and then for them in like the Pleistocene era like and like even photos of them in the future. So like they're all throughout time they're at the last supper there. They're hanging out. Yeah, you do the montage like a movie right. You're the last supper. You guys are fighting little you're like shooting bullets each other astray hits Lincoln, got get blamed for it and and then you're the whole thing. 49:17 Yeah, that's the concept. And so that's the storyline that he gets from this. like, okay, it kind of wraps the whole thing up in this neat little bow. And so he just kind of goes along with his life. And Colin at this point does. Colin's like, he's 18. Yeah, yeah. He goes back to he's now found out that one day he's going to have a son who's going to get turned into a cyborg and try to kill him. Yeah. And he's like, well, he's actively trying to kill him in Minneapolis. Okay. Cause that was right. Yeah. He met his son who tried to kill him. 49:47 but luck of the die, so now he's just like, well, back to the hardware store. Yeah, so he goes back to his hardware and so he kind of just goes back about his regular everyday life. Six months later, someone sends him a message on the something awful forums and says, hey, you should check this out. And it's a link to an art exhibit happening in upstate New York and that art exhibit. 50:15 is talking about his life and this event and everything that happened. And so he's like, I'm going to go check that out. so he goes, okay. 50:28 so someone sends you a link to an art exhibit in New York. That's like hey, by the way, it's just a bunch of pictures of you and you're like I should I should go there. I should go and not once do you think I should call the police so ironic that you say that because he gets stopped. State New York. He goes to go check out the exhibit and on his way there 50:58 he runs into a guy and the guy basically stops him and says, hey, you can't go in there and he says, I have something for you and he gives him a note and that note basically tells him to come back after dark. There's a clue for him to find and so he comes back after dark and he's shining a flashlight in the windows of this art museum or this like small exhibition hall. I guess it's not a museum shining lights in the windows, the exhibition hall trying to see the clues. Yeah, so the police show up and they start asking them some questions. 51:26 correct. Luckily, luckily he's like a nineteen year old like baby faced white boy and so so the police are like actually you want to kiss they love him kinda. So they like they ask like oh and he's like what a oh he's like I see what this looks like and he's like this. Actually this is an exhibit about the look 51:53 I'm is like look, it's me about me. I'm trying to solve the thing and so they look at it. They he they pull it up online or whatever and they're like yeah, this actually is about him. I that's weird. I like well back to your business little boy and they leave. They let him just hang out and do whatever he was doing. They're like that's not suspicious. I mean, what do you okay and so the police and he's like please help me find who's doing this. I have no idea who's made this and they're like 52:19 Yeah, that's crazy. That's not really our problem. Honestly, wow, wow, look at the time. You know it's ten thirty five. Usually people murder someone about this hour. I better go get ready for that. Goodbye velocity. I mean 52:37 He says, he says, look, you can, he said, I want to take you to jail unless you roll a chance, roll a perfect 20. So he, but the cop does tell him, you got to get away from here. You can't, whatever you're doing. It's suspicious. got to be somewhere else. And so he leaves. It comes back the next day to the actual exhibit while it's open and he looks around the exhibit and it's photos of him during this whole event. And so there's a photo of him at his doorstep. 53:05 with the guy on his knee and it looks like someone's taking the photo from across the street and then there's a photo of him getting off the plane and meeting the gatekeeper. There's photos of him and Chuck E cheese, so they've been following him the whole time, like getting all this recorded and there's even video footage of him in the woods finding that box and so he's watching all this stuff unfold in this. So the art exhibit is basically hey guys, we're going to make fun of this dumb kid. We found somebody we think could fall for it. 53:38 and so he, while he's at this exhibit, yeah, he finds what he believes is another clue. How is it that you're at an exhibit? You see you've been made a fool and you're like, this is real. This is real. So he goes and he sees what he believes is another clue and he kind of follows that rabbit trail and eventually it leads him to the point where he finds the phone number of a guy named Dylan. 54:05 who he believes is the mastermind of this whole thing. Okay. He calls Dylan and Dylan answers the phone and says, Oh, hey, great. Or no, he calls the phone number. says Dylan's mom's phone number. It's a Dylan's mom answers the phone. It's like, Hey, what do you want? It's me, Dylan's mom. Oh, Dylan. It's that boy for the past. It's the war. 54:35 That's the code word. He told me to say so he calls his mom answers his mom's like yeah. I'll give you Dylan's number and so his mom gives Dylan. Okay, why would the phone number be okay? So he calls Dylan he's like he's like I'm to make this person call my mom and then see if my mom will give them my phone number. What I should say is it doesn't seem like this was it seems like he tracks down his mom's phone number doesn't seem like he was 54:59 given. Okay, this wasn't like a clue that he was given the answer to the clue. Yeah, it was like he tracks down his mom's and then he calls Dylan from the number his mom gave him and when he calls them, uh, Dylan asks his phone. He's like, hello. He's like, Oh, Colin, I was hoping to hear from you. And they kind of talked back and forth for a little bit. And then all of a sudden there's the beep. It was the answering machine on his phone. And so he knew 55:26 was going to be calling him and set up an answering machine and did that thing we all did in high school. We're like hello. Hey, I can't hear you. Yeah, say thing. No, say it louder. No, louder, louder, louder, la la la la la. 55:58 crazy and so he's like oh my gosh, there's a voicemail, so he calls back the next day. Hello hey, I tried to call yesterday. No, I can't hear you. Yeah, I okay, so I tried to call yesterday and I got your voice but louder. I tried I tried to call you louder. He falls for it again. Gosh, no. Well, here's the thing. It's another voicemail, but it's 56:25 different. Okay, and so this happens for days, so every day, whoever the person is, is just that's what I'm saying. It's like you're just how do you find someone in Chicago? You're like hey, you guys want to mess with the kid. You guys want to use a ruin somebody's life. Yeah, it's art. It's art. It's It's art. I promise it's not bullying. It's art yeah and so 56:52 He finally, after days of this, he finally gets a hold of him and connects with Dylan. Dylan says, I've got something. goes, Hello, he answers the phone for. Oh, I'm not falling for this. No, for real. It's actually me this time. I don't know about this. Colin, it's okay. It's me. It's okay. I'm really here. Are you sure you being honest with me? Are you telling the truth? If this is live, say potato. 57:18 Potato. Oh, okay. this is real. he calls him. He calls him and Dylan picks up the phone and it's like, Hey, you've reached Dylan. I'm sorry. I can't come to the phone right now, but it's actually him. Dang it. Boop. Did you just say boop? You just said boop. I've heard so many beeps of it last week. I know that wasn't a real one. So Dylan says, Hey, I've got something I want you to see. I want you to come to New York. 57:48 and so he gets him to come to New York. Wait, wait, wait. I thought he was already in New York. Oh no, so he went home. He went home between this. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. How long? Okay, I don't know exactly how long it was between that. So he, so he leaves. What I do know is this has been about three years from the day Zane showed up at the store step. That's what I do now. So at this point he's like 19. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he's like, want you to come to New York. I got something to show you. And so he comes to New York when he gets to New York. 58:14 He goes, it's another whole charade situation. He meets a couple of different characters. They go, they saw the answers you seek, but for now, Kevin Hart. So it comes to New York. They do all this thing. They do all these different clues. They go all these different places. The gatekeepers there again, driving them around town. And then at the end, like the culmination of this, 58:43 They take him into this alleyway and they walk them into this door and there's a guy that's like rushing him through these halls and the halls. There's all these photos on the wall of him and throughout this whole saga and then other photos that he doesn't recognize photos from his childhood. Like it's just him everywhere and he can hear very loudly what sounds like a large crowd, chanting velocity gnome and he's getting that good. Let's see how it Velocity no velocity no. 59:13 velocity numb, and so he's hearing that I was wondering how what the cadence was going to be like that and then he gets rushed through these halls and out this door into a room where this happens. 59:43 That's him in the middle. 59:46 Okay. 59:50 So for audio listeners, there's a big it's a stage and Colin is wearing a backpack. He's clearly has been rushing this building. There's like probably 10 people dancing in a circle around him. 01:00:06 So what ends up happening here is he walked on stage in like a black box theater yeah and he gets rushed on to stay he's smiling like he's like enjoying it. It looks like he's like kind of like oh this is kind of fun yeah and then he's just a part of this rock opera and they do the whole show and he's a part of it and they are engaging with him. They're singing songs are asking him questions. He has lines, but he doesn't know them and he's just kind of ad libbing 01:00:34 and they do the whole story. The crowd seems to be in it. There's a few hundred people there. And there's moments where there's like, he says something and the crowd whispers something else to him and he says what the crowd says. What? And so the whole thing, like everybody in the room is like in on it except for him. And there's like a few hundred people there. And so they do the whole show and the whole show kind of tells that whole story again. And then it leads up to this moment where all of a sudden, 01:01:01 they're doing this big musical number and then it cuts and someone in the crowd comes in and you hear them yell father and it's a Maggie Hark and they have their kind of final battle where he defeats Maggie Hark on stage and that's the we've like what foam swords or what I don't know exactly what it was. I just know they have their big final battle and they defeat him on stage and then they the curtains roll. The crowd goes wild. 01:01:29 crowd like you know they're in yeah, I a while, no matter what and that was the end of the story and Colin so they flash mobbed him. So let me tell you what actually happened here. Let tell you what actually happened here. Colin goes back. He writes this whole story. He launches a website called the future shock where he writes the whole story of everything happens. Okay, it's every single event 01:01:54 he like logs all the stuff from his notes, all the like pictures he has. He scans all of these all the scrap books, all the notes, he like scans them in. So they're all on his website telling the whole story and at a later date, the creators of this concept even end up coming forward and telling the story of how it happened. There are two kids by the name of Dylan and Joe. They're college students when it starts and they said how do they pick Colin? So what happened? 01:02:22 was one day they were just on the internet. Well, one day they were hanging out talking. They were trying to remember a friend that they used to have that they used to play Dungeons and Dragons with. they were like, we gotta see if we can get back in touch with him and start playing games with him. It's been a long time. We haven't talked to him in a little bit. So they used the internet to try to track him down. They ended up finding the little brother of this kid. And it's not Colin, but they find him on this small obscure website that was... 01:02:51 like a proto social media. And this was before even Friendster, before MySpace, before any of that. And it was just this group of these 12 kids at this small school in Chicago. Then this is how they kept in touch with each other. And it was built by this kid, Colin. And so they started following their life on this little social media platform. And they said it was kind of like our version of the real world that only us had access to. And these kids had no idea we were watching everything they were posting on this website. 01:03:20 and so we were like and this is totally normal because your college students and full grown adults and we're spying on fifteen year old kids and like that's normal and like oh it was so fun for us to be able to log in online and be like. wonder what our teens are up to today. Teens are doing. Oh, what did your team do today? Here's a my team did you freaking creeps and so they said they watched for about a year and then 01:03:49 totally normal. You guys are weird for thinking it's a you're weird for your weird for the it's weird. It's weird. Okay, weird. So they watched for about a year and then this event happened. They don't tell us what event happened, but they had an event. weird did you make it weird that they could tell really hurt Colin and they could tell Colin was like in a bad spot because of whatever this event was. They don't say what it was sure. So they say man, we probably wouldn't son guy killed by robot bears. 01:04:15 They were like we should do something to help him feel better, but like wait, we don't know this kid and he doesn't know we know everything about him and so they say hey, maybe we could kind of create this elaborate story where he's the savior of the universe. Okay, this kid's kind of sad. Seems like you might have got broken up with maybe the girl that he likes said no to going to prom. 01:04:35 Maybe we should just reach out to him and message be like, man, we actually found this social media and we would love to be your friend. We think you're cool because just having older guys reach out and say, Hey, we like you is probably enough to boost the self esteem of maybe a 15 or 16 year old kid, but 01:04:53 What if we got on one knee and we're like, you're the savior of the world and convinced him that actually his whole life is part of an interdimensional drama. 01:05:07 Yeah, we should do that. Oh, what are you working on? Just cheering up my team, just so they make the scrapbook. They go to Chicago and what happens is the he go. They pull up Joe stays in the car. 01:05:24 joe films it because he's afraid they're afraid of the police. So joe's filming it because they're afraid that something weirds could happen and they want record that like hey, this isn't anything. Sorry, it's not weird. It's just that we follow the seeding or online and we to drop this off at a store. No, no, no, no officer, no officer, nothing weird. We've just been keeping tabs on this kid's personal life for two years and her kind of worried about him. So now we're here to cheer him up. 01:05:53 no officer, no chris hansen. Don't worry, I got it so zane who's really dylan knocks on the door and his mom opens the door and he's like and there's like a podcast interview where he tells all stories like and this is the moment when we realized we messed up because he's like I didn't factor in that there could be adults in this story that could come into play at any point. So his mom answers the door and I'm like oh shoot and she's like what is is 01:06:21 Can call them out play? Hey, can your son come out to play? And so he says a corner and she's and she's like that's my husband because they have a weird situation right. It turns out Colin's been dating a forty two year old woman. So she says who are you and he says I think we'll be friends one day and she says 01:06:47 Oh, what someone's here for you said I said they're from the f. He said that it's so sketchy and she says oh, call it wait, wait, wait, wait, is two thousand two yeah yeah. Am I crazy? You're not crazy. This the same knocks on your door. You answer it and then you go. Can I help you and then they go 01:07:16 I think we'll be friends some day and then you go. This is for my son. This is well. No, he already asked for calling. She said who are you here and she said who are you and he says I think we'll be friends. One day will be. I think we'll be friends one day and then he says that she says was he someone's here for you. They said her from the future, but that wasn't part of it. I wasn't part of it. Future thing was not part of it. Well, it was part of the doc, the like the scrap book, but she just took what he said. It was like he says it's for the future. 01:07:46 yeah, but he probably would have said I'm from the future. He didn't say that though. Okay, yeah, so he comes out. He she knew was in the notebook then she didn't know that's what saying though. I'm saying like she goes he's from the future. The notebook says he's from the future yeah, but he said something. He said something that loosely sounded like she's from the future. He's from the future and that's then she connected that to he's from the future, but that was a it was surprising that she did that is the point. Okay, okay, like he was like that was a weird thing to say. 01:08:13 like even in the moment, also weird as a we're going to be friends. Hey, I think we're going to be friends. One day is calling here. 01:08:25 Oh, hiya. 01:08:29 think we're going to be friends one day. Are you hitting out of my mom? They call it Riz where I'm from. So he comes down and gets the thing, posts the stuff online. They go home. They think it's the end of it. But then the next day he wakes up to a phone call. Dylan. Dylan wakes up to a phone call from Joe and Joe says, go online. And so he's like, you got to check this out. And so he goes online. 01:08:57 to the 12 friend group social media thing now goes to something awful for him. That's where Joe told him to go and he sees that it's like the front page is their scrapbook. He's got a hundred thousand hits yeah and they look at the comments. Some of them are positive but a lot of them are really negative and they're saying this kid is making the whole thing up and so he's like well we got to make it real because now he's getting all he's getting cyberbullied. Oh he's getting made fun of by people online because he believes he believes there's a time traveler who came to him. 01:09:28 So what should we do to strangers who don't know this guy? Well, Dylan, I think we have to make it real. 01:09:42 You're right, Joe. Should you and I commit the next four years of our lives to this project? I think so. Well, that wasn't the plan. So the plan was, okay, we're going to send them to Minneapolis. We're going to keep doing it to make it real and have the whole thing. And that's going to be the end of it. So they do the whole thing. They get all the footage and they're like, okay, let's make an art exhibit out of this. At least like, let's get something out of this. They make the art exhibit. 01:10:12 and then he shows up at the art exhibit and they're like, why are you here? And then he starts calling Dylan and they're like, okay, we've got to finish. We got, we got to put a bow on this somehow. So they write a rock opera. We got to, we got to, we got to put a bow on this somehow. We got to put a bow on this somehow. And that's just this thinking. That's just a thinking music. You got to put a bow on this somehow. And he was Dylan, what are you singing? 01:10:42 Gotta put a bow on this somehow. 01:10:49 gotta fight the robots and them. Hey, hey, I think we got something we should write a rock. You know what just came out on in the movies, fam of the opera, the opera that's really big on right. was gonna say school house rock, but same thing. I was gonna say school rock school of rock was school of rock two thousand five. I don't know. Yeah, don't know. After this 01:11:17 but yeah, so they write the rock opera, the column up, they get him to come out for it and of course we see how that all played out and so this was really just these kids cyber stockings and then at the end of all the rock opera, the curtain falls, it comes up the whole cast bows and Collins like okay. 01:11:34 and they should get down. They go, are you happy now? Are you still sad about that thing? And they're like, what thing? And then they tell him, he's like, oh, I forgot about that like three and a half years ago. But now you brought it up. But now I'm kind of sad about it actually. Oh my gosh. I should bring it up. We're going to to set up another. have to put another bow on this. That's crazy. 01:12:00 I mean like when how does column react so so he puts all this on the front like con love the whole thing. All of them was like invested in the whole thing and then what was really interesting is they did such a good job with this because like shags shags came in the story and shags was playing a character like he wasn't that interested like he was kind of getting drug along okay. He going by Tyler. He's like I'm Tyler. I'm not shags and like he he was like I'm not invested in this but he was a character in it all along and so like there was all these things that they did and they did so many like minor details like there was a 01:12:30 character he ran into at one point where she was wearing a WNBA jersey that said the Futurettes, which first of all, they nailed the fact that the WNBA was going to take off, also like they just had like all the... Clark jersey. It's like, oh, generic white girl named Kailyn. Louis and Clark. Okay. Yeah, we got it. And she literally was just born that day. It was crazy that they made that. They literally walked around the hospital. They're like, give us the tallest girl here. 01:12:58 he needs someone for the future. Oh, excuse me, nurse, who's the tallest baby you have? What just need to know the name of the baby. think we're going to be friends one day get out the hospital. You free is like oh okay. I'm going to call the doctor. Hey, there's somebody here for the future for you ring ring. Hello, it's the war. It's what 01:13:28 okay, and so they talked about it. They said it was kind of fun to do because as the more we got into it and the more the bigger the further it got from even being about Colin at this point. said they said what was interesting is you you write this whole story. This whole thing becomes such a big deal and like what pranks were really pop by pop at the time, but he said what we realized Dylan was talking about it. Dylan was like we realized pranks were always at like the expense of other people. What if we were like prank that made this person think that they were the savior of the world? 01:13:56 What if we pranked him up? Yeah, we're gonna break him up and so that's what we did and it's kind of the craziest prank anybody's ever pranked. I don't even know if you could call it a prank. It's weird. That's for sure. Okay, so it was an art exhibit. There's a years long art. it was supposed to be an art exhibit like they said out to do that. Yeah, they did it all and then they realized they're like we got enough for an exhibit here as at least get our money back because they bottom up playing ticket. The got a motel 01:14:27 They set all this stuff up. I don't know like they got Chuck E Cheese to agree to this. I don't even know if they I don't think they I don't think you have to. I think I think it really was a situation where the guy is thirty two. We're going to Chuck E Cheese. He sees two college guys come in and put a note in the thing. T's two separate young boys come in and search for young boys and he's like this has got to be a weird church. Yeah, I think this is a lock in it does kind of sound like it actually. So yeah, it's interesting. I don't know if this could have happened nowadays. 01:14:57 like yeah, that was a very early two thousands event to happen. Yeah, this would immediately be like yeah and and it's also it could only happen with the right person like you have to have someone who's going to invest themselves into it like Colin did like he was very interested in being a part of it. He played along point. Did Colin believe any of it? I don't think he believed in okay ever like I think he was he doesn't seem like that's what I was worried about. He doesn't seem at the type that like is like oh this. I really am the savior of the world. There actually is. found a red thread where 01:15:27 Allegedly, there's a user named Colin Pope. So allegedly, this is him. says that this whole thing happened to him. And he says it definitely straddled the line between a prank and larping. And he says, well, I would never run around and say I would be a person who larped out of context. He said it just seemed appropriate to play along when it started happening. And so he's like, I'm just going to do this, I guess. And so every time something happened, he's like, yes, and, and just went with it. And he said it was a ton of fun. Wow. 01:15:56 So very strange event. Sure. It's a memory is going to have for a long time. He had the website up for years, at least a couple of years ago, because I heard a podcast where they were talking about referencing it is now taken down. So all this stuff doesn't exist anymore. I can't find it online. I'm shocked. I was able to find that video just now, but yeah, this is a story of calling Pope and how he saved the future. And at the end of that opera, right? He like the devil came out, which is very weird. It was like, 01:16:26 You're going to fiddle off the devil. If you land a perfect role. 01:16:39 Hey, thanks for checking out this episode of Things I Learned Last Night. If you like it, we got another one, Latitude Society. It's somewhere around here in the description. You should check that one out. It's a very similar story of like a really cool, fun puzzle experience. Worth checking that one out. If you want next week's episode right now, you can do that by becoming a Patron, Patreon supporter. All of our Patrons get access to every single episode a week early, ad free, and access to a bunch of other perks like merch discounts, Discord with our hosts and producers, Hangouts every month. Super fun place. And... 01:17:09 you help make this show possible. So we really love all of our patrons. Thank you for your support. And we'll see you next week on another episode of Things I Don't Know Last Night. 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Some pranks are small, like swapping salt for sugar. Others are so elaborate they blur the line between reality and theater. One of the strangest ever staged is the multi-year saga of the “velocity gnome” prank—a story that began with a mysterious package and ended with a rock opera. A Knock at the Door It all started in the early … Read More