How the US Started Cyber War

01-13-26

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey, I love the listen this podcast and what I love more is that every show that I've been doing more and more till and fans have been coming and saying that they drove for hours to be at this show. And so if that's you, you want to come see me do some stand up. You got plenty of opportunities. January 27th, 28th. I'll be filming my comedy special in Nashville. That's a really big thing. If you can make it to those shows, I would love to see you there. And then I'll be doing new material. February 12th. I'll be in Houston, Texas on February 14th, Valentine's day. I'll be in Plano, which is near Dallas. 00:28 February 20th. I'll be in Kingsport, Tennessee, which is in Tennessee and then very 21st. I'll be in Fredericksburg, Virginia. February 22nd. I'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina at the comedy zone there. February 27th. I'll be in Milton, West Virginia. That's right. We're going everywhere, baby. February 28th. I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina and March 8th. I'll be in Indianapolis, Indiana. I have plenty of dates. 00:50 You can always check out if you're listening to this in the future. You're like, oh dang, it's November right now and I missed all of those shows. You can always find my shows at jaronmyers.com slash shows. So I really want to see you there. Would love to hang out. Thanks for thanks for coming for real. Thanks for listening to this podcast and thanks for coming to my shows because this is my dream and it's still alive. 01:15 Hey, man. What's up? Have you ever heard of Stuxnet? 01:20 Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet Stuxnet 01:46 that because that was like the era where they were putting they're putting net on the end of something. You know, sounded very high tech. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did. It would call be Stucks AI today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 02:11 Yeah, I know it was it's a laughter. It was it since it's yeah, I know all right theme song. uh 02:22 All the names in frozen are German. So it's like if you're watching frozen in German, it's a lot like if you watched, if they change all the names and frozen to be like Matt Anna and Elsa. And it's just like that's just a Brittany. 02:40 Klaus. Chris. 02:52 Okay, so let's begin is June seventeenth, two thousand and ten. You work for a company called a virus block ad at virus block, add a virus block at two thousand and ten is the era. So my this is when I had my job as a uh malware remover at a computer store. Yeah, this was this was the age where window to what that life was like. It was 03:18 I told you this before. Most of the job was people calling and saying their computer didn't work and yours like. Did you try to turn it off and turn it back on and then they would do that on the phone and they would go wow you did it and we would be like all right, that's twenty five dog and then and then they would never yeah, but we would never a lot of what it was was dudes bringing in their computer and being like yeah, it just doesn't work for some reason and then we would be like. Do you think it could probably be the two terabytes of 03:47 videos that you've downloaded onto this thing and there. No, what do you I've never seen those videos before? Yeah, you probably don't part of the all the illegal songs you have on this pro. It's gumming it down a little bit. No, it's I think it's because I downloaded Internet Explorer. I'm sure it is Internet. sure it's Internet. You're right. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah, Internet Explorer sucked though, so no, so back then 04:13 And now I don't even know if this job is as because viruses just aren't as common anymore. mean, I was just were very common before. Yeah, yeah, there's still a random pop ups and it would just start opening all this stuff and like it was yeah. I mean, ever since I got a Mac, I've never well, there's still a thing, but the problem is you can get a lot more money and data from attacking a website than you can an individual right personal computer. Right, right, right. And so like those things like there's just not as much of a 04:43 market for exactly black market for it, I guess, and it's also the juice isn't really worth the squeeze because like it's easier to just email someone and trick them than it is to get a virus on their machine. Of course, like you don't need a fire, but early in the days it was that was very, you know, you to look out for that. You get viruses on computer. was a big thing. It would disable your whole machine. You know he had to bring it into us. We'd have to on download certain that we had special software that then 05:10 detected where those things were. It also was kind of the wild, like certain files. It was yeah, it was very intricate like web that that was before web browsers had like they would show. Oh hey, this is a dangerous website. You write to proceed like there was just a lot of stuff like it was kind of wild west and it's like easier to stumble upon something sketchy. Yeah. Now all you do is just go to Facebook. That's true. That's right. There's like six websites now. 05:35 and that's but also as more things have become app based yeah, that's rather than web based. You're not opening as we're on the links on apps anymore on the web anymore. You're opening links through apps and if you think it's going to be sketchy, you just do it on your work computer instead. That's right. So Stuxnet 2010 yeah, it's June 17th, 2010. Okay, and we're we're where Belarus. Okay, and so this company it's called um Virus Block Ada. 06:05 and that's like a literal just translation. I don't know what I'm assuming. A D A means something. Yeah. Ada means something in Belarusian, but I do not know. I don't know if Bella Rujan is the language they think there. I know that just keep going. People from Belarus are called Belarusians. I know that for sure. Sure. They probably just speak Russian. I'm guessing because I'm so know that state. Sure. They speak Russian, but they're like, well, it's Bella Russian here. 06:34 anyways, so they get a normal support quest and don't stop. I hear the thing we installed this timer and you look at this time all the time now and it's this passive aggressive way where I'm doing a bit and you don't think it's worth our time and you just look up at the time here. You're doing it now as I'm talking about it, which I realize is kind of funny because you're also breaking the third wall a little bit, but you're also thirteen so annoying five sixteen. 07:01 Tim has a long time you spent on that bit. It's not. It was a bit. It was a genuine thing of me. This was that you want genuine laughter and genuine complaining about your behavior. Just edit, edit him out, edit me out of this podcast here. Let me get you a shot without being it so that way you could just make me be gone. 07:24 So. 07:28 This is really hard to turn. 07:31 So Stuxnet is a malicious computer worm first uncovered on seventeen June two thousand and ten and thought to have been in development since at least two thousand five. You're going to spoil the story. Sure, I don't want you to spoil it. Okay, so this company that virus blocker is a is a company. Yeah, so they get one of their clients reaches out and says hey, we got this this virus. Take a look at it. Tell us how to fix it okay, and so they send 08:01 they send all the email was written in English or Belarusian probably fell. I'm assuming because they knew how to read it. Nobody you can only speak the language. This was the twenty ten. You can only see the local language that my Dennis. This is what I these where I keep looking at the clock. Dude, that's a throw away joke. I know I do it and then you go and I made it better. What if we for I took it through a joke and I caught it and I held on to it I made it a good joke. I mean the fun joke that we can hang out on for a minute parked it 08:31 So they are looking at the virus. They're looking at the virus. Yeah, here's the thing. Most viruses that they get in, they're very rudimentary. Right. You look at it for a few minutes, you figure out how it works and you can develop a fix for it. Right. They get into this thing and they're like, this is different. And this actually ended up taking them six months to figure out how this virus worked. And they took it to the press and it 09:00 changed the world forever. uh The Stuxnet Iris ah because how do I, how do I illustrate this? The client that they had was Iran and they Iran had located this. Are you talking about Iran or are you talking about Iran, which is the running app from Apple talking about both? No, I'm talking about the state. 09:30 Iraq and Iran. Is it not Iran? Am I in yeah? I wrong? uh I was I was joking. was yeah, so they're out Iran, Iran, Geez, now I'm self conscious about it. They're out in Ron. No, it was Iran was their client. They sent in this virus and I ran. I ran 10:05 I'm never going to say this right in this episode. I know you've me up now. You I'm pretty sure it's pronounced. I got me all messed up. I'm pretty sure it's a run. You just did both ways. You just did both versions. I say it the same way. Well, you said I'm pretty sure it's pronounced. I ran and he said I'm pretty sure it's pronounced I run. Okay, you did both of them. You're in my head. I know you know you're in and you're driving it in okay, so a calm down buddy. 10:34 their client was the state of Iran. Let's take some deep. Let's do this. 10:41 so much wasted time. Please talk. Please keep talking. Tell a story. Thank you. All right. Don't look at the clock. I was trying to Zen out so I Ron they were the client. 10:56 Which is neither of them. There's Iran and Iran and you went Iran. oh 11:15 Oh, I love it. Iran, the run company is hired by the run by the country of Iran. Yes, and so the country of Iran, they have a a facility called Natanz and a tons is a nuclear facility. Oh yeah, and they were essentially what they uncovered. They took this to the press. They're like okay, so this is an interesting little bit of code that we found because this code was uh 11:44 very sophisticated. It featured four zero day exploits, which do know what is your day exploit is yeah? Scribe it to me. No, that's your job and if you're going to lie, describe it me. Why would I lie here? I know what it is, but you I describe it better, but I think you should tell. I think you tell everyone else. Yeah, I think you should tell everyone. is your day exploit 12:12 is it is an exploit in a computer software right that did not exist before. No one knew about this until the day it was exposed right and so there's not a fix out there right. We're going to have to fix it. It's days. have zero days to fix. The problem is the concept because it's out there. The virus is exploiting it right. 12:35 you are trying to so there are four zero day exploits inside this and zero to exploits are there's no common fix for it already. You got to you have zero days to fix it right, so like you've got to fix this today. They're the most complicated exploits out there right. There are bug bounty programs where companies will literally pay millions of dollars if you find these and show them to them because they're that pick of a deal um and they are because other ex other most viruses that we were dealing with at the computer shop that are infecting 13:05 personal computers were things that we used existing software to identify and remove those viruses because they were known and that that's what I'm saying. Yeah like they were you know we could figure out which files to delete. We like we knew how those worked. Yeah, this is something that's like oh we have no idea how this is working and we also have no fix for it yeah to have four zero to exploits is unbelievable, unbelievable, 13:37 yeah. Okay, so here's what it is. What a guy's, what it is. We're looking at a pretty good mood. I don't know what happened, but Tim is like that guy is always fully crashing out over here and like I'm or for real try to do the other. So okay, so 14:00 I don't know what it was about the rad thing. know I didn't know I to bother. I'm sorry I would. It was a was a worthless bit. It wasn't worth. Let's pick it made me feel like a word. This person 14:13 I don't know how to say I ran and it makes me so Iran. uh 14:30 So the way it worked is this uh worm found its way into their computer system. Yeah. And it spent a full month. The code was written to where it was spent a full month just monitoring how the systems worked. Okay. And then essentially recorded everything that happened, recorded all the data and then it built lookalike data. So that way when it executed its attack, it could show that data to the end users. 15:00 that were running things and say, look, everything's fine. This is what is happening. So that was one of their exploits within there. The other thing that they did is they went to a series of gas centrifuges and they essentially turned up the pressure on these centrifuges to where they're going to break. what they, what they figured, Oh, well what, what it was designed to do, I should say, wasn't to just make it to where it's going to hit this limit and then just explode. Right. 15:29 It was going to increase the pressure enough to where it's going to cause a little bit of damage, but then it was going to decrease the pressure to show that lookalike fake data to all the people monitoring the systems while it was increasing the pressure without actually causing any severe damage. over the course of months and months and months, they just, every so often, this worm would increase the pressure on the systems, cause a little bit of damage, show that fake data, bring it back down. Nobody there knew what was going on. 15:57 until eventually they did this enough times where all that pressure damaged all these to the point where they weren't usable. And the engineers at, this was the Natanz nuclear facility, were getting very confused because they were like, we keep having these centrifuges get over pressure and we're seeing damage that looks like over pressure, but we don't have any data that shows any over pressure ever happening. And so they were really racking their brains on how this was possible. 16:26 They were going back through their code to try to figure out the reporting systems. They were going through all of the actual physical hardware on these centrifuges to figure out is there some sort of leak or something that's causing this or something that's breaking because they couldn't figure out why it was happening. And they did this. This worked for a handful of months where this just slowly kept working up these centrifuges. The other thing, and so this was a very ah surgical worm to where it was 16:55 providing that fake data to where they wouldn't be able to see that something was actually wrong. was working very slowly because they could have just bumped those up to a hundred and blew them all up. Sure. And then it would be over. But what it appeared and what the Belarusian company kind of concluded from the code was they didn't want whoever built this worm didn't want this to be evident that a virus did the damage. 17:18 They wanted the people at the Natanz facility to think that their calculations were wrong. Yeah, that they were making some sort of mistake. Not that they were destroying something. And so what is very strange... Which is just gaslighting. Yeah, it'd actually be more fun if we convinced the scientists that they're a little wrong. 17:38 Thanks for watching our show. you like it, a great way to help out is by being a Patreon supporter. 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But if not, right back to the episode, right? 18:30 It's like it's anonymous with their little masks in their warehouse somewhere and they're wait wait wait make it slower to take down your scientists by making them 18:46 insecure feel like they're really bad persons. Oh, you don't know how to say you're on the machine. The machine were just a case. She's like I'm over. She would occasionally say I ran and so they'd be like am I saying it wrong? Are you said? Did you say Iran? I ran? I've grown up here and I don't. said I ran like I'm saying a nuclear program. 19:14 They have nuclear. Did I say nuclear weird nuclear? What did I say? You said nuclear is nuclear 19:28 I that you knew that all you had to do was say nuclear weird and I would immediately think that oh I said nuclear weird and then now you're saying it the same way both times. First of all, I did not say the same all times all right. I hate so much that this is working on me. I need so much that so under my skin, nothing in the data shows that you're can't hear this out. Tim's for you, it's firing on all cylinders and 19:59 Tim's... there's no readings for this. We have no data that shows where he's broken. Reset, reset, reset! 20:09 you're doing exactly what my baby does. Call your like so you have experiences. You don't go to the gym, but when I go to the gym and I'm pressing dumb bells two hundred pounds and so freaking it's jamming my hand into the button on my watch so bad. Well, it's not even that it hurts. It's that my watch starts doing the thing where it's like SOS doing and I'm like you're like a frick. No, that 20:37 almost the exact same thing happens, but I'll be changing my son's diaper and like you're holding his legs and like doing the right goes and he sees the screen and he just starts tapping it and ah he can't. I can't your kid is already an iPad baby and your wife doesn't want him to look at screens, but then she didn't account for your apple watch and he gets and he's addicted to your apple watch. He's like he really does like reach at it like hit it and do stuff with it and like he's not 21:05 he's not aware. Oh yeah, my kids screen time. I just let him look at my apple watch a little bit. Look at my watch and it drives me crazy because I'm so stressed that he's gonna like call like a client or something. I'm like oh hey, sorry, I'm changing my son's diaper. That was him. I can't hang up. You're gonna have to do it. My answer full of poop. 21:25 My hands are full of poop and my shoes are full of pee! 21:36 so the Belarusian company just like they were they were very. They were telling Iran. Hey, this code looks like it's just designed to mess with your scientists. Well, that's exactly what this I mean close to what they said. Yeah, I know they said what's strange. What's strange is there's this one side of it that is like very surgical, very precise. We're going to sneak in essentially and like trick you into thinking everything and but then there's this other side of the system. Yeah, 22:06 And the other side of the system is just going to the centrifuges and just revving up the RPMs as high as they can to like blow up the centrifuges. Okay. So like that's very less surgical. Like they're just like, okay, what if we do this thing? But then what if also we just go maxed out? Yeah. Right. And so over the course of a few years, this system is this virus is running wild inside the Natanz nuclear facility. What do you got under the table? What are you doing? Okay. 22:35 this is running wild. This is this running wild in the tons and stop that stop doing that stop doing what? Oh my God. Okay, so stop to it. No, that was genuine. Stop doing what I don't know. You just freaking me out. Just guys, I go look at the time, stay with the video for this feels like you're going to do something. I really just feels like you're I opened the coke zero. I took a sip and then I looked at Alex and he's over here like freaking quick 23:06 quit doing that bro. I would not have done that. I that or on joke. If I knew that it was going to crash you out like this dude, I don't know why it did it just really hey. I'm really sorry. Do you want to reset? You want to start over? No, okay, good so hey man, so 23:27 I used to run at this time in my life. Just so you know, I was running an online forum called Ninja, nerd, assassins of malware, where we would help people solve their computer problems through an online forum. This is real yeah yeah. I don't I'm worried that that's still out there. I guess it's probably not for sure. Let's check yeah Ninja nerd. Well, now it's owned by somebody else, an engineer dot org, somebody bought it 23:56 No, I mean I didn't own the dot org for it, but this is online learning platform for medicine and science stupid, an engineer does also. I don't feel like that branding works for that like concept wow. Okay, so it's this is crazy that this still exists. This is my logo. I'm not going to give anyone the I'm not going to give anybody the I mean it's falling apart, but do see the 24:27 Oh, was this photo bucket? No, this was a but look, ninja nerd, assassins of malware. That's crazy and then yeah, you could. I mean all the like all the other bridges are dead because yeah yeah yeah. I used links for these images. Oh yeah yeah, but that's crazy that that's still that's pretty wild. Some of our patrons will find that this is a challenge and for those of you, there's a couple of you that I'm thinking of that. I think are going to find it 24:56 you know who you are. That's crazy. I guess I could try to log in and see if the things posted there. It would be hilarious if that becomes your website like jaronmyers dot com just links to that and that's where you just ninja nerf. Should I bring back online forums shy, my forum or sick? I mean that's basically what our that's kind of what our discord is honestly though. Like if you think about it, 25:20 what's that? What's that mailing list thing that's really big right now? I'm drawing a blank on its name, sub stack, sub stack, yes, sub stack is like we're taking a step towards that. I mean I've thought about writing more because I would like to do a book one day, just a memoir about my time in the N B A and pretty funny about how you know why I mean that's just a novel. oh 25:51 I'm freaking right a novel about his life in a novel, a lies is life. Yeah, no, but I thought about starting a sub stack. I don't know. I just I miss I would log in every day and I would see like oh, I've got like eight messages like eight responses to my comments and honestly I really loved. I don't know what this was. I have talked about on the show before too, because I helped with the support team for the forum itself and so like I just liked I had templates saved yeah. 26:19 first like somebody asked how to do this and I would just click that template and respond. I liked how that was people. That was an interesting era of the internet because things could just be found like you didn't have to have a budget, a marketing budget to get yourself on the first page of good right like you could just be out there and people could find it and there were and I had like friends who I'm sure were just fifty eight year old dudes. Yeah, you know yeah and we were told in your address and I was like here's my address. Here's my phone number yeah yeah and that's anyway. That's crazy 26:48 Yeah, that's crazy. I don't know who messaged me on Rune scape the other day, but I saw the message and then I was on my phone playing so I couldn't respond to you, but know that I saw that message because someone messaged me and just said. Do you pray? That's why I text you and that's so fun. ah So whoever that was, thanks for doing that. I've been out here playing. He's been clicking the 27:11 No, I'm fishing right now. I'm fishing and cooking. I was I was clicking the crab, clicking the crab, I can and then there was a giant crab that I was really complicated stuff. You wouldn't get out and you wouldn't you wouldn't say you were for like a week. He would click. Literally all he did was click on a crab. That was the game. He would click on a crab every few minutes and that was the game he was playing for like a week and a half, but you got like very high level for it. 27:37 Sorry, you can just screen time. Sorry, I would take this to my watch. 27:46 No, I would set a timer. You can attack the crab and then every ten minutes the crab dies and you got to attack it again and so would just I would be working and I would go set a nine and a half minute timer and then I would do the work and it would go off and I would wait like you know and I'd click the new crab that would pop up and I would just go back to work and you're a judge me for that he's clicking the crab whatever do whatever I don't care. 28:12 I'm under his skin. I'm under his skin. That is Mario. So anyway, ninja nerd, so that Costco dog is my user name on runescape on runescape by the way. So for years yeah this the engineers at this facility were like we can't figure out what's going on here okay and eventually years yeah for years. When did they first discover it? Two thousand ten two thousand ten they brought it to this company to be like we think this might be a virus okay. 28:41 um and so that's when but do we know when they discovered it two thousand ten? So they found it in two thousand ten and they said we think that there might be a virus in this system and then four years after no they found in two thousand ten, but four years before that it had been wreaking havoc. Oh God, it okay. Okay, so for four years it's been wreaking havoc. Yes, they've had this virus for four years yeah and they'd just recently figured out God. They went to this company in Belarus and said hey, can you figure out what's going on here um and so 29:12 The what's really interesting about this is they were in what's they they had what's called an air gap in cyber security where it sounds like what it is. You have a gap of air between you and your system right and like you're not connected to the internet and in the case of this facility this facility was an underground facility and it was in the middle of the desert where literally there was not an electronic device for miles from this facility and so there was no way to get a virus 29:42 into this facility without physically walking into this facility. Okay, and so there's a few theories about how this happened uh and it's hard to pin down for sure what is true. What I think is probably likely is I think that there was two versions of this that got into the facility based on the stories that are out there. The first story that you hear in the story that were circulated pretty widely early in the like the when this hit the public right was it was a usb stick right 30:11 right, right, and so somebody somewhere got a usb stick that was infected and they didn't really know they plugged it in and it infected the system and that's what's really interesting like early computer viruses and ah they worked this way. They were floppy disks and cd roms and yeah and usbs that had a virus on it and you didn't know that they had it and you just put it in ah and then I think that's how I got a virus was I had it well because I had a usb stick 30:41 and that was great man. That's bringing in so many memories. I had I had a whole like uh like a travel case yeah of USBs yeah that one was like you know actual homework and stuff and then I had another one that was like all the software that I used to get viruses off of computers yeah, so I could get it off my friend's computer. If it's a go, let me plug this in and do it and then I had another one that was a uh Nintendo emulator yeah that had every Nintendo game 31:10 ever made on it. That's cool and then I had another one that was just my music and I literally I had the USP port in my pickup truck and I would plug it so I would just have a USP stick sticking straight out from my radio and that's how I listen to music in my car. Yeah, that's sick. That's crazy. Yeah, you know, I'm thinking a lot about lately what I I don't know what it is about being a thirty year old person. I'm thirty one uh 31:37 but like do you ever have the urge to just buy a Ford Ranger like an old for yeah, you know, like I was worse. Listen, I don't talk about like old. I'm talking about like a two thousand one. You know, like yeah, they were they were very cool trucks. I mean or like you know, buying like a uh old for what for an f one fifty or like an old chevy like of course you everyone wants to buy like a an eighties pickup truck right yeah. 32:07 like a two thousand two for Ranger, you know yeah. Those four Rangers were dealt though they had the sideways seats in the back, so you could stare at the other pass. That's what I'm saying. We've talked about on the podcast for sure. Yeah, I that. I love that so much so you can touch knees. Yeah, you can. Let's touch knees. She's the back. My for I don't think it was a let's touch knees. That's the ease of the back of my friends for a 32:30 hey, do you want to touch knees in the back of my friends Ford Ranger? Yeah, and then you get back there and there's like all these dummies that he's dressed up. I know, but I thought like thing. I kind of want like an old pick up. I mean they are like they're there. Maybe it's the nostalgia for like having like literally my old truck. You know, I think there. I think that's part of it. I think I think it does take you back to a simpler time. Yeah, also like those trucks were so much more practical. They had 33:00 much larger truck bed and like they were just cool. They were so cool. Yeah, they really were so busy. The bench seat dude being able to like I mean come on man. Yeah, you know being a yeah, I know exactly what you're going to prom. You got your arm around a girl. There's no seat belts. You got a red. No seat belt. Yeah. 33:23 but it's okay. It's a bit of a school to prom with the girl you wanted to go to prom with your days in the hospital, but like you shot survive. She survived the prom. You stitches in your chair and you're like yeah, she's in the hospital. The girl you wanted to go to her seat belt. I did though did so. I just got some glass in my jaw, so 33:50 yeah, the girl you wanted to go with feels bad for you and says okay, I'll ditch my date and I'll dance with you. Oh, that involves her ditching her date too. Yeah, she's like I he got no car. know what's crazy. He got into a car accident the way here. The breaks did work. God, that's that's crazy. I was crazy. I don't know how to have them. I don't understand how that's very weird. Do you want to go touch the back of my friends for Ranger 34:19 uh I mostly a stall for where we were in high school, but you know that's crazy. I didn't have the extended cab either. My parents weren't like the reason my parents got me a pickup truck. I think it was smart because they were like you can only have two people in here max yeah. That's that was smart on them. My parents gave me a pickup truck, but it was more of just like there wasn't like it was a hand me down truck. Yeah, it's kind of easy to buy some pickup truck yeah yeah yeah. uh 34:47 it's kind of like I think never mind. We don't need to talk about these trucks anymore, so the other theory about how this got in there. Sorry yeah, we don't have a time left the other theory about how this little off the other. Sorry, we would be a stall. There was there was this Dutch engineer yeah. He's thirty six year old, thirty six years old. His name is Eric van Sabin okay and Eric worked for like a heavy transport logistics company, yet supplied 35:16 parts and different things for heavy machinery like facilities that had heavy machinery and he as a spy movie where someone has a virus on the US be right now. Yeah, I'm trying to break into the facility and then they're trying to find a computer that has a USP port still, but there's no USP's in this building. What are you talking about? Just plug it into the computer where 35:43 where do I pull and use his laptops and take some home? Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing on this computer is all just the iPad airs, iPod airs, and then he plugs it in and it comes and it's his it's his Nintendo and emulator and he's like I grab the wrong uh 35:59 I killed 10 people on the way in here to put this Nintendo game on this theater. 36:08 I'm gonna beat it real quick. ah 36:24 I hate losing. He's more mad. Okay, anyway. 36:34 Hey, thanks for listening to this episode of things. I learned last night. If you liked the show, you want to support us, we've got merchandise that you can get and it's good stylish stuff that I made. put a lot of work into this stuff, so it's great to find other tilling fans in the wild and be like, wait a minute. I know that shirt. And so yeah, we would love for you to do that. You can pop over to shop.tillin.com or the QR code or there's a link in the description. There's plenty of ways to find it. We promise we made it super easy. So thanks for supporting the show and thanks for listening. 37:04 he is a he has a this come here. He works for this company okay, and they get a contract to supply water pumps to the Natanz station. Okay, he gets a call from the Dutch government and the Dutch government says hey while you're there, they say I've ever thought about being a spy and so he uh agrees and they basically like he takes the water pumps to the Dutch version of the CIA. 37:34 and they install some software on the water pumps and he doesn't really know what's going on. He brings those water pumps to Iran. uh Iran. And he goes there and what's interesting, his wife grew up there and so her whole family lives out there. oh So they make a trip out of it. They go there. They're spending like New Year's with her family. He goes, he does the installation and something scares him while he's there. 38:04 like he almost figures out what's going on. I don't know if he knew from the start. It's it's not clear how much he was aware of figures out what's going on is in like oh they've got nukes. I don't know if it's they got nukes, but there's something about his time there where he goes and he does the installation okay and he comes home and he's like we're leaving right now and he's like we need to leave the country. We gotta get out of here. We gotta get out and there's no clear evidence of what exactly happened like if he figures something out or if he said something he shouldn't have, but he leaves the country. 38:32 Okay, this was late two thousand eight going into two thousand nine like because of like a new year's event. They were sure they go home and what's really interesting is later that same month in January two thousand nine he's in Dubai and he's riding his motorcycle when all of a sudden he's involved in a crash. That's a single vehicle crash where he breaks his neck and he dies and investigators claim that there's no sign of foul play. Okay, but the theory 39:02 is that someone sabotage his bike because they found his connection to something. I always do bits at really unfortunate times because we just talked about cutting the brakes on someone's Ford Ranger and then you're like yeah, someone sabotage his bike. Okay, and what's interesting is there was an anonymous source in the Intel Intelligence Committee at like the Dutch, the Dutch Intelligence Agency. Yeah, 39:32 and they said he paid a touch is where do is land. 39:41 think it's Germany. Is it Germany? The Netherlands. you. Yeah. So oh the other, the Dutch, but they said he paid a high price. ah So they seem to know like it, what it seems like is he knew too much about what he was saying, what he was doing and he talked about it because it wasn't even a year later that 40:09 the Pete the engineers from around speaking to the Dutch when I was in Italy. Did I tell you about the guys I was on the the Pompeii tour with that they were they were professional theater actors. Well, one was a producer and the other one was the actor and you know the little fella. uh He plays Olaf in the German version of interesting yeah. 40:39 have we talked? We talk about that, so I think we didn't talk about that because like he plays Olaf in like the official version of frozen that tours all over the Netherlands and Germany and all that like it's like the broadway version, whatever their broadway is yeah broadway or whatever the HADER, they call it to broad V, broad V, so yeah. 41:07 interest, but also all the names in frozen are German, so it's like if you're watching frozen in German, it's a lot like if you watched if they change all the names and frozen to be like Matt, yeah, they're just it's like Anna and Elsa and it's just like that's just a normal Brittany. 41:28 Yeah, that is Claus Chris. Yeah, that is it. It feels different off. 41:37 Ola, so they so I pretty sure that's pronounced so. 41:47 so they something happens while he's installing that yeah to be some people get wind of what's going on. Okay, I think the assumption is that they then spend some time trying to source whatever was going on. They couldn't figure it out. They take it to this bar region company, okay, a little over a year later, the original company spends a few months with it trying to so did Iran figure out that it was the Dutch that did that well. It's funny. You should ask well because like even if they didn't install the virus, 42:17 Iran's probably like yeah, you may not install the virus, but we know that you put something in our water pumps. That's weird. What you put in our water pumps? uh So here's what's interesting. The the company from Belarus, they go public with this story and they by this time was really interesting. It's sucks. Next got out. It's not clear how that happened, whether it was someone when they were putting it in the water pumps or something else or some of that USB stick left the facility and ended up spreading 42:46 but now this is infected like thousands of machines around the world. Okay, but it's very clearly built for this one machine in the Natanz nuclear facility. Sure, so they go public with this kind of sharing the story and a bunch of people like start researching it, trying to figure it out. Long story short, the most likely scenario that has been painted there is there has never been an official acknowledgement of this. 43:15 But through like the connecting of lines, like a crazy conspiracy theorist, this has been able to be traced back most likely to the 2006 Operation Olympic Games, which was put together by George W. Bush uh in, was going say, this sounds like an American thing, which was in collaboration with the state of Israel uh to prevent Iran from developing nuclear weapons. Yeah. 43:45 And they had a CULAR. They. 43:50 Say it again. Nuclear. Thank you. uh They identified this facility, but this facility was underground. They knew they could only hit it with heavy bunker buster missiles. Yeah. They did not want to go in with a hot war. They theorized that they could get in with a computer virus. And so this is really the first large scale state to state computer virus that was like inactive war because they essentially bombed the facility. 44:18 from a computer virus right because over the course of the few years that I was in there. How do they? How did the Dutch storyline get blamed for this? Well, I can I can bring that in okay, but over the course of the few years that this system was wreaking havoc. They destroyed George Bush and Israel planted a virus in Iran to take out their nukes allegedly. There's never been an official acknowledgement, but that's very strongly what it looks like. There was 44:48 there was a lot of stuff that it looks like George did. There was a high ranking military official around the time that this was beginning, ah who said, Oh, don't worry, we are taking care of the Iran nuclear capabilities. uh That's not an acknowledgement, right, but with a lot of the other symbols that we have pointing back to them, it does look like they were the ones who did this and also experts in the field have come to this code and they do think that this took 45:17 billions of dollars worth of investment to be able to build this because this appears like you can kind of, as you source through it, you can kind of see years of work as you build out the layers. And so they're like, we think that they were working on this since at the latest point, 1998, and that where they started developing this software. And so there was a point where this computer virus was transformed into this purpose by George Bush in the mid two thousands. And then, uh, 45:47 The deployment is what's really interesting is the official story we heard for a long time or the official theory we heard for a long time was the USB thing, which is possible. it does make a little bit of sense because you could very easily through social coercion or through coming into contact with someone who worked at the facility, find a way to swap USB sticks or something like that, get access to that and be able to do that without ever being caught. 46:17 And that early phase was where you, kind of photograph the system, deploy the fake data, slowly work through the system. Sure. Later, all of a sudden it ramped up and it was moving much quicker. And so what it looks like is there was a slow version to this where it's like, let's move slowly. Let's make sure we don't get caught. Let's cover our tracks. Right. And then that wasn't working fast enough. And what the thought is, is that the U S or somebody within the U S said, make it go faster. 46:45 and so that's that he said like that or he said like make it go fast, probably like make it go faster, probably like that. Now watch this dry now watch this USB dry uh and so then then that's when they were like okay, we got to get it in there, but there's no chance a 47:08 American or Israeli spy is going to get into that facility right like there's no way we even our best spies. They're not going to be able to work their way in there. We need a third party and so that's when they called on the Netherlands and they said hey, you got anyone. I made that up. They called on Deutschland and they said hey, you got anyone who can get into the Iran Natanz facility. 47:36 and they said, let us do some digging. They were, said where 47:41 the Iran Natanz facility or on or on. Oh, you mean or on? Oh, you mean Olaf Olaf, but America, as they said, let us do some digging and that's when they looped in this other guy and so this other guy very much looked like he was a private citizen yeah who the the but that's what I was saying. I think I said that a couple episodes ago about spies is that do we know that he knew that stuff was on there? I don't know if I he was a spy. I was going to say I think the easiest way to do that is like 48:10 hey he's installing his water pumps. Let's put something in the water pumps, but he has not to know that yeah. I think he knew that because I think he knew what was going on. I think that's why he was like we gotta get out of here. I think that was a crucial mistake. I knew too much and that's what I'm saying is that like you like. I think the most effective spies that are spying today don't know that they're spies. Yeah, they have no idea that they're a part of it. Yeah, they're yeah, so that's when 48:36 this new system got installed and then things ramped up to a hundred right. uh But over the course of those few years over a thousand centrifuges were were damaged. And so there are debates on how far this pushed back the nuclear program there. Some say as much as three or four years. Some say as little as six months. uh It's very contested on how much damage was actually done there. But this was the first case of a state to state. Well, 49:04 allegedly a state to state actor who damaged physically damaged something right through a vice software. Yeah, and so this is really the first uh actual uh obvious cyber warfare in history and it opened up kind of a Pandora's box to say oh hey, this is possible. Yeah, this is something that's worth taking public investment into. So what we do know is when President Obama was inaugurated, ah this was something between 49:34 ah presidencies that they passed a baton and they said, keep this operation going because there's something valuable here. ah And it very much looks like new versions of Stuxnet had been developed under Obama's presidency and used in different applications. Nothing as consequential as this program, but there were situations where it looked like it had been deployed. ah And since then there have been multiple other computer viruses from other different states. 50:04 to attack different systems. So Stuxnet is kind of like the Manhattan project of your computer. 50:15 and I probably could have got it off there. If they had just gone to my form to me as a sophomore in high school, if they just gone to ninja nerd, I could have helped them figure that out. You know one of those fifty three year old your assassins of malware. I had a lot of time. I didn't have a girlfriend, so I couldn't figure out why either. I the tuba and I was an assassin of malware. 50:37 I couldn't figure out why I couldn't get a girlfriend. All I wanted to talk about was sheet music and lines of oh malware viruses. Look at this virus. Did you upgrade your computer to Windows Vista or you still an XP? That's cool. Do you want to touch knees in the back of my ford? Have I told this story the podcast to about the number of there were several girls because I had a Ford pickup truck and then I would 51:07 lay out a blanket and we would just lay in the back of that pickup truck and look at the stars. Have we talked about that before yeah, no and then we I didn't even kiss him. We just looked. I think that now I realize that girl wanted me to kiss her yeah. That was the expectation that was the expectation now and then I dropped her off and she was like does he not is like me he's not interested and I was like that was the greatest date in the whole world. I can't wait to marry that girl. I remember I remember 51:36 and stuff like that too. You're like yeah, and then you look back and you're like she wanted to kiss yeah, because wow, have we talked about on the podcast that every date I ever took to dance. just ditched at the dance and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like I brought him yeah I brought it. We're here. Oh you guys got a car accident on the way, so you're free to dance. Let's dance later. Later, I'm going to dance with that. I brought him. I brought him. We're hey hey you're going fit off there. 52:05 Hey, thanks for listening to this episode of things are learned last night. If you enjoyed that and you want another episode that has to with computer viruses, we talk about John McCaffey, the guy who made McCaffey anti virus and also the insane life that he lived that led him to live living on a compound and like hiding out crazy. What a crazy psycho guy yeah, but you can check that out and if you want next week's episode right now, you can join us on Patreon. You can get that. You can get all of our episodes ad free and you can get next week's right now and we would love to see over there. Thanks for supporting the show. Yeah, anything else you want to say to him 52:35 I just see an ex. Is there anything you want to say? I was just gonna say like they be careful when you watch that episode because he's dead now. 52:48 Yeah, okay, we'll see it. Be careful. Why are they gonna be careful? You think he's he got on to we were we were we were he was alive when we did it. Oh, maybe I don't even know now, so now you're dishonoring the dead. If you laugh, we were that's


In 2010, cybersecurity experts uncovered a computer virus unlike anything seen before. This malware did not target personal computers or steal private data. Instead, it quietly sabotaged industrial machines, changing how the world thinks about cyber warfare. That computer virus, Stuxnet, is still felt today. Unlike most malware, Stuxnet was designed for one specific mission. It targeted highly specialized industrial … Read More

They Hid in the Mall for FOUR YEARS | Secret Mall Apartment Ep 307

01-06-26

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you heard of them? How I want to want to call this? I haven't thought about that. Let's call it. I don't know. I will just have you heard of the secret mall apartment secret mall apartment? Yeah, 00:17 No, I got- wha- no. 00:22 We're putting the P in podcasts today and in our shoes. 00:30 But not our own. I'm gonna pee in his shoes and he's gonna pee in mine. 00:36 But who will pay for Alex's shoes? 00:53 have you is it okay? Have you heard of Michael Townsend Michael Townsend? No, this is him uh okay. Michael Townsend is him on survivor. Is that why he's got that thing around? He never went on survivor, but I'm not going to lie. I would not be surprised if he was a fan and this is where he got that style style from he's like so I'm to audio listener. He's like he's like a scrawny or white guy like kind of he looks tall in you know. They're saying 01:21 like when you can look at people's neck proportions and be like that guy's pretty tall yeah yeah and ah and so he's you know probably what is he in this picture in his forties maybe five probably you know yeah and he's he's wearing an orange. What are those things called that they wear on the show? No, I'm yeah, but there's a word like bandanas yeah, but there's a word for I don't know what they're. I don't know what yeah, but there's a word for like a scarf yeah, but there's a word for 01:48 like a hanky yeah, but there's a word for all right, that bit's done so yeah, but but he looks like this shot looks like it's you know he's in front of a wall yeah, so so who is he so he's an art teacher and providence, Rhode Island that tracks. He does look like an art teacher and he's here's the thing like I don't understand. I don't understand exactly what kind of art teacher like I couldn't figure out he teaches mostly adults 02:18 but I couldn't figure out if this is like a he is doing like freelance art teaching and he's got his own little like I guess private practice of art teaching and people come and learn art from him or if he was like a university art teacher, people come and do art or if like he had like a rec center art class like I couldn't figure out what kind of art teacher he was okay, but he's an art teacher and he's also an artist like he they're called buffs. Oh, that is called 02:48 are buffs. Oh in survivor yeah. Oh, they're like gators. They are called gators. Yeah, gator buffs. Okay, interesting, but like the buff is the brand survivor buff. Yeah, buy it from paramount shop dot com, and if you use code telling it won't work, it'll say sorry. The code doesn't exist. This code doesn't work because they didn't sponsor us yet, but if enough people use it, they'll be like wait a minute. 03:15 wait a minute. We need to figure out who these people are. Are these guys and not give them credit for this? So yeah, so he's an artist ah and he does like a lot of like public art displays right uh his big thing that he's known for his tape art. So here he is at like the Children's Hospital doing tape art, um which if you're I was thinking this when I was walking through the airport today because I don't know if you've been to an airport. Yeah, airport has some good art, but mostly bad. Yeah, well 03:44 it's all subjective and you know what that means. If someone looks at something and it's like man, art is so subjective. That's their way of being like this looks like crap looks bad and this is not. It's what I was thinking today when I was looking at some of these sculptures. I think man, that took a long time for this person to do. Are they selling this? They shouldn't have, but I'm saying like are they selling it for a price of this person is able to make like a and know I do comedy for a living. I understand the economics of how that works. I go do a show. get paid yes 04:15 this is tape art. This is this is what I did in my room. You know here's the thing that I gather for audio listener. It's shapes on a wall made out of tape like there's a person. It's like painters tape yeah and it's like he's made like a you know it's like a flat like drawing. I think it'd be like yeah. If you drew like with a pencil just a one line thing, but it's on the wall with tape yeah and it's like that's cool yeah and so he gets hired 04:43 mostly by like children's hospitals to do these installations at children's in Kansas City. That's a fountain. It could be. I honestly don't know. He gets hired all over the place to do these okay, but I will say sometimes they look like this, but sometimes they're like grand murals that are. Oh my gosh, that's that's worth it is what I'm saying. The first photo you showed not worth it. Sorry to this guy. This photo that's crazy amazing. That's tape yeah and this here's another one. 05:11 and the whole idea of what if the whole he's like the pioneer of tape art and the whole idea is like they're temporary murals and so like the idea is like we're putting up this really cool intricate thing that's like difficult to do and it's not going to last forever and which is very interesting. He did this. This was in which is just like life. This was in the command center at okay, see after the bombing uh and so they hired him to I is this this 05:41 This is the angels. I think that's the idea. Yeah, it's a little on the nose if you ask me, but I guess it like really helped keep a lot of the people going in the command center to like as they were digging it out. I keep is the idea. 05:56 Yeah, you can't make jokes about it. I'm not gonna. I would never. It's a little on the nose. They also he also him and his little cohort of of tapers. They also have tape worms as they like to be called. They went around taping stuff. They also did. They did this huge project. ah This one's actually kind of cool. I mean, all of them are kind of cool, but this one they did. uh They went around Manhattan. 06:22 uh for it took them two years after nine eleven and they did silhouettes of every person who lost their lives in nine eleven all over manhattan was like a big project okay, which was very crazy and and then he did he's. Is this like the thing they do is silhouettes of people who have died in tragedies? That's like if that's like the main use case for tape art, I guess I don't think that's the main use case, but he does seem like that's a lot of the 06:50 things he's got contracted for our tragedy. Yeah. Yeah. And hospitals and things like that. I think like, but I do think that it's an art thing. Like people are like, we use art to make ourselves feel something. And so like we needed to put some art in here. I'm not making fun of it at all. Feel better. know you're not making fun of it, but I think that it's like people say we need art so we feel better. Yeah. So anyways, so he, uh, at the end of the nineties, he had this other art installation he did. 07:17 where he collected a lot of his things throughout the nineties. Okay, and he found this storm drain tunnel and he piled them up in there along with a bunch of sculptures of himself that he dressed in his clothes from the nineties. no, no, because here's what I imagine. All right, you're too high school or you sneak off. You sneak off to an empty park because you're going to kiss right. 07:44 and that's what other high schoolers did. I wasn't a center, so you go out with your girlfriend and you're like hey, let's go to this empty park and then you see a storm drain tunnel and you're like you're trying to be play brave. Yeah, you're trying to be like oh, I'll go in there and then you shine your phone light and there's a dozen mannequins dressed in nineties close yeah yeah and then now you've screamed like a girl in front of your girl. 08:14 and she's like I don't she goes it's clearly a mannequin made of tape by the art installation. This is clearly a nine eleven memorial. 08:25 that that you're not even why I can't believe you to react that way. That's so disrespectful of you. This is clear. What do you mean? Like just buy pay for a storage unit? Well, it was to memorialize that 08:42 decade for him like he wanted to memorialize like all right. We made this that how my life is over time to put that in a storm drain. We talking about and so like he made sculptures of himself in poses that would help him remember different things that happen throughout the year with different items that he had collected. So sculpture at it, but the weird thing he did was he didn't just put the sculptures of the storm drain. He hung them around. Oh my gosh dog, that's terrifying. 09:15 here's a here's another here's another one. This is what I'm saying dude. I'm actually just stumbling upon this storm. Hey girl, hey, I know a place that we can sneak off and make out you know and then you go in here and now you can never kiss anybody again. Every time you your lips almost touch the lips of another you're reminded of these tunnel filled with floating people. 09:42 if you're an audio listener, I truly don't know if I can describe what's happening because they're held up by cables and they're literally just a bunch of mannequins floating in this storm drain yeah where like this is where dude you like look down, let's play it. There's your dozens of these you're homeless, you're high out of your mind and you're going to this storm drain. 10:08 Yeah, is crazy. 10:12 in this picture, your eyes get drawn to those two, but you look down the tunnel and there are just dozens of them floating through the thing and okay thing he didn't pull, but that's also the great. That's like the sidewalk above, so let's say that you're walking here, walking on the sidewalk. It's a sunny day and just at the you're down. You maybe you stop to tie your shoes. You stop to tie your shoe. You say that and then like just looking through the storm great 10:41 up at you is a fully dressed Nordstrom Manakian. That is psychotic. It's crazy. The best thing about this is he never took credit for this. He never put anything that was like this or for me. He didn't tell anybody about it. Urban Explorers just found this and then it started spreading 11:04 and everybody sort of and eventually the art community was like. Oh, this is Michael Townsend because they recognize the scops. Yeah, they were like a lot like Michael Townsend. Oh and that's his shirt. I remember him wearing that so how upset would you be if you bought him that shirt? He just left. I was saying you bought that shirt for somebody and then they were just like thanks. Thanks. I'm putting it on my sewer man. 11:30 uh This'll look great in the sewer. 11:37 crazy. So anyways, so they lived in like what was like the art district of Providence, Rhode Island, okay, him and his wife at the time and they lived in the best way I could describe this and we're going to have to extrapolate this a little bit for people outside of Kansas City, but it's like the West bottoms. Okay, like it's like okay, this old derelict side of town, yeah, where all the buildings are 11:58 mostly vacant, but there's also like apartments in them. Yeah, there's like there's things that are there, but they don't feel like they should be yeah yeah and the buildings are like started. That's things that are here that feel like they shouldn't be 12:16 here. Let me explain. Never mind. I'm not going to explain. I'm not going to explain this. Why did you try to shake my hand like that? Okay, I did not think I thought we were going to do high five and then you just grow and kiss it. Kiss my kid. I can't I'm thinking of those men. I can't 12:39 Every time's my every time my fucker 12:46 Oh, if I, if I, you think sour, I think about him. 12:52 m So he freaks out whenever his lips do that. 13:02 trying to get a good thumbnail picture for YouTube. 13:08 I got a new hold on don't to me. I'm don't like to be on viewing okay, so yeah, it's a part of town that like it's mostly vacant buildings yeah. They're all the fun apart used to be prosperous, but now it's not and and the artists all live there. They there is this one of the specific building that they're in 13:34 there's a bunch of artists that have apartments there and then they also have like art installations around the building right because half of its vacant so they could just put up art installations and then there's like a big music venue where it's like where our podcast started though. If you go back and listen to the first couple of episodes, we keep having to stop and we reference it because of the chainsaw upstairs yeah where it's like it's the kind of building where you could rent a studio to do your chainsaw artwork. You know yeah you couldn't do that in an actual apartment complex. 14:02 Yeah, you couldn't rent uh a studio in like a business park, right? And chainsaw and then just, you know. 14:11 sorry to the counselor next door. We're chainsawing today. uh Hey, I know uh a place that you and I could sneak off together and then you get into this old like this old building and then just upstairs you hear 14:27 Ahem. 14:30 that's a pretty good chainsaw. That is a thing pretty impressive. So we watched that Ed Gein show on Netflix and uh it you know first of all Ed Gein never actually killed me with a chainsaw yeah, but it's just driven. I can do scary movies if I know that I can get away from the scary thing. Does that make sense like like knife like slasher films? Yeah, I know that I could probably get away from the killer from a slasher. You know ghosts 14:59 those things come through the doors. There's no like running into a room, shutting the door and then you're safe. All right, I can't do those kind of movies because there's no escape right, but a guy with a chainsaw. You're held a chainsaw yeah yeah, they're not light. They're pretty heavy. If you can't outrun a guy with a chainsaw, that's good hearing, a chainsaw, a good point, then I not a victim blame, but like you probably kind of your fault. But he got like do you can't outrun a guy? Have you ever held a chainsaw Eagle Scout so they're 15:29 they're heavy. Yeah, yeah, you can't sprint after somebody with that thing. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So anyway, uh so they lived in that art installation building uh and they they called it Fort Thunder, which was really sick, which is what my youth group was gonna be called, but they had a that a music venue. There's like an underground music scene that like did a ton of shows there, and so it's like it is very, very much like a cultural arts district. 15:57 Yeah, honestly, I cannot over emphasize enough how much it sounds like the West bottoms, uh but across the freeway from where they were at was a pretty large plot of land. That was a few different things that got bought up by a developer who put a mall there and it is a giant mall. That is it's called the Providence Place Mall K and this is what year is this ninety nine yeah. That's prime mall season yeah and with 16:25 with where it was, which I mean like we've done an episode about the what's the what's that big mall? We did an episode about the American all of America, no American dream, the American dream yeah and like the idea for these malls. Where is that you would but like it's the same thing like zona rosa up there or like the Galleria where I live, is that it got made fun of in the TV show hacks that I've watched. She gets an apartment in the Galleria, so it's like literally the cheesecake factor in my house yeah. 16:54 and she's like why would I want to pay all this money to live above the mall and it's like yeah, that's why no one wants to what's really fun. Those units aren't cheap yeah, so it's like you're paying luxury prices and also you live above the ball. Well, that's the thing that's really interesting is this era was when that idea became so popular and they I watched a video and they have like a newscast of someone who was planning to move into the mall when it opened right 17:24 and she was like how convenient would that be to be able to be like right there and have like all the stores, all your restaurants, everything right there and it's like you're describing a city you're describing a city. You're describing a city before we started designing them for car. Yeah, you're describing a city before we ruined. Hey stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop 17:54 but I'm saying like I would never like this was the era where the nineties and two thousands malls are exploding yeah because our malls were. mean the eighties malls were huge, but I mean like they're still like moving into they become outdoor malls in two thousands. It was still like it's crazy how what I'm saying is it maybe we should do an episode on this too and sorry for this is being too long of a tangent. I guess but like malls eighties nineties 18:22 two thousands that twenty something thirty something year arc for malls and in the very fast drop off. Yeah. Do you think it's entirely because of online shopping or do you think that it's just because the mall model was never going to work? No, I think it's I think it's online shopping because I think the mall model existed for a long time before that and I think I think if it weren't for online shopping, I think it would still would be convenient in a world that is suburbanized. 18:48 I think the mall was you know what and I'm gonna I'm gonna crash out for a second, but chill with me for a second. It's incredible that we let Amazon come in with all these big centers of fulfillment centers that they knew from the beginning they were going to put robots in and we were like yeah, but they're making all these jobs and it's like why do you think Amazon go to your local mall and see the jobs that Amazon already ruined? You know yeah, yeah, it is interesting like every time any of these projects are announced. 19:16 that's the thing that they told. It's like it's like we're going to create jobs, but it's like you're going to create jobs to build that building of course and then once the building's built yeah, it's going to robots one day. It's going to be all robots and they plan on it being robots from the beginning. Everybody else in the process. yeah, but 20,000 people are going to work there until the robots take over. Oh okay, oh okay, cool, yes, we see it's a great great plan. You know, but I that's right. I guess that's I was just thinking about. Like I like the idea of them all. I don't like the idea of living at one, but 19:45 I do miss hanging out at the mall. Of course, you miss it. The mall was fun. It really was and I you know what and I think I know you made fun of me for being in a Disney adult person, but like I do think that I enjoy. This is just me off the cuff thinking yeah in the airport on the way here yeah. Yeah. This morning there was like a couple of sports teams and stuff in the airport and it's teenagers being teenagers in the airport. 20:14 and I remember being a teenager. We were dumb. You know we were annoying and public of course and like there was a time where I would see that I'm really oh my gosh pulled together somebody like but now I see here and I go as you know what you're you guys are being Tom yeah in public good for you. You know how far get to be done and I think that's what I mean is that when I'm at Disney, I enjoy watching kids hat make memories. I enjoy being around. That's the atmosphere that I think I miss is the mall is what you're driving 20:47 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like we really look it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk, we have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode, tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 21:21 It's nice to be in large public spaces because we don't have very many of those and now every time I go to the mall, it's like dude, the only reason I go to the mall. That's it's it's I only reason I'm going to the mall is to return something that I bought online right. So now I'm at the mall. It's an inconvenience for me to be here and everybody else. It's an inconvenience for them to be here, so no one's happy and no one's enjoying being there. I have to walk through this little this maze of coals. They make you go all the way to the back. Yeah, let me return this 21:51 and nobody's here shopping. Everybody's here. Yeah, it's so weird to be in those places. It is very weird. Yeah, and I miss it. I agree. I agree. Yeah. Anyways, you think we could get it back? No, okay. I don't think we can. All right, so this day, I small opens this mall had the apartments inside the mall. Okay, so like this is the mall because the battlefield mall did not was not built to live at 22:19 yeah in Springfield yeah. No and this wasn't a mall where you had apartments outside on the top floor. This is apartments literally inside the mall yeah. We've never had this, so it's a little weird. Did your mall have apartments, not the mall that I went to. I do remember as I was like 22:36 getting out of high school. They were building a couple of those around me yeah, but they were like the outdoor malls with the apartments out yeah. That's what I'm saying. That became super popular two thousands early two thousand tens because the Branson landing got built. I remember I was like a third or fourth grade. That was a really big deal yeah and then because the Branson landings just zona rosa yeah now technically this is a mall, but that we're in right now. Yeah, technically this is a wall. No yeah. Are you dumb? Technically this is a mall 23:01 that we're in right now. Yes, this is technically a dumb person. I'm sure it would be no technically. This is a model. 23:08 okay. That was the opening scene for chair company. I was just doing the open okay. What is a mall? We cannot recommend that show by the way. Here's what happens. I was recommend TV shows and then like and then and then like on episode four or five they'll do something that's in say that then that it may look really bad. Yeah, yeah, recommending this show to you yeah, but I recommended it on episode three before you knew before I knew 23:36 So anyways, this this arts district, all the people lived in this art district, so like there started building this mall yeah, and they were actually like they were in stark opposition to them all because they knew it was going to be this giant monstrosity right and they knew it was going to bring all this traffic and they yeah they they just and they had a feeling was going to gentrify the neighborhood and threaten where they live. Okay, and it was going to block their view of the city, which if you've never seen province, Rhode Island, it's actually like a beautiful city. Those look really nice. It's it's I would I would move to the northeast yeah. 24:05 Would you move to you want to move to Vermont with me? I would love for mine. I don't know anything about Vermont and I think that's what I like about it. You know nobody knows anything. Nobody knows anything about it. One. No one talks about it. The only thing you know about Maine is like all the lobsters up there. That's the only thing you know. So so they they built this mall right and everybody in the art district was like look at that monster. We hate it yeah. So Michael and a group of his friends were like let's do like a little like 24:35 public art installation, like performance art. And so they decide in like protest to the mall when the mall opened, they said, let's stay at the mall for 10 days and see if anybody notices. And so they all like, were like, we're going to stay here. 24:51 and this is this is this is art. This is performance art. Okay, yeah, so so that's the justification I've given for sneaking into like a college graduation is like it's a performance are really is just me being dumb. Yeah, yeah. All right, I guess I you know what I you know what that is something else this year. Happy New Year. This is another thing. I was like man. I got to do more like blind date. Yeah graduation stuff so twenty twenty six. I'm going to be doing a lot more performance art 25:22 yeah be ready to observe, be ready to observe. I like that that framing so they go in and the whole idea was like whoever can how many is this eight? There's eight of them, eight of them, who can last the longest. Yeah, the idea is this is a Mr Beast video before you to yeah. Actually, that's actually my seven friends are going into this mall for ten days and the last one out wins the mall. Congratulations, 25:50 You're the owner of the battlefield. Good luck. Now you got to revive it. You have to handle the lease agreements. That's the other thing to man like the the places that have like twenty five year lease agreements. Oh gosh, that's like there's there are travel agents travel agencies that signed like a twenty year lease in two thousand seven who now are still in that yeah. That's insane and it's like your business has been dead. 26:20 since two thousand and eight yeah. That is crazy. That's crazy to to think you're going to be able to be successful that long. I don't think that's what was crazy about that. That's what this we're on year eight of this year nine on year nine of there is no chance I would have signed a nine year lease at the beginning of this. Would you yes, I would have I would have been way too skeptical about our ability to be successful at this. I you're not you're not even thinking about our inability to quit. 26:49 it's not about your ability to succeed. It's about your inability to stop. Well, no, no, no, no, no, it's not about. I just would be like I would look at that and be like oh, I'm going to be paying for this myself for eight of those years, which we have so so that they're doing a Mr. B style thing before yeah. That's pretty accurate. 27:08 and it starts out like you would think it would start out. are kind of going around the mall, exploring, having fun all closes at ten. They're kind of hiding through the shadow. Well, here's the cool thing about this mall. Twenty four hours it's it. have a movie theater, so the main section live there well there. Well, there's a few. There's a separate entrance for residents that them to the upper level, but the bottom level closes God. So like there is a point at which is also crazy. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, It's also like 27:36 the bass pro in Memphis. Okay, it's that giant pyramid. That's also a hotel. Yeah, that is crazy. You can just stay at and then at night you can sit on your balcony and look out over and this is not an exaggeration bass pro. You know I'm saying like can you find an image of is that you can stay at this 27:58 very luxury lodge themed hotel and then sit on your balcony and hear the sounds of crickets and running water inside the largest and again not making this up bass bro shots. This is insane. That is nuts. I'm trying to pull up a okay. Yeah, you can see the hotel from this. That's what I'm saying. Dude, it is. It's so ridiculous that they I just don't understand 28:27 this makes no sense to me at all. Yeah, this is crazy. So this is this is the interior and you can see that back section is the balcony of the hotel yeah, so that overlooks there's a hotel up there. The store you can see it's just you see what I'm Like it's not it's not any different than any other bass pro yeah, but you could just but you can stay there and then at night it closes a hon. There's no one there. We've been married for twenty years. I've prepared a special trip for our 28:57 anniversary baby. You and me are going to stay at the Bass Pro Hotel, the best pro tell the Bass Pro tell. So they are kind of exploring the mall, doing the thing this mall. The reason why this worked out so great is because the mall had a movie theater. Okay, it's the movie theater would have late shows, so the mall didn't close to after midnight because of the movie got it and so and then it opened early in the morning. So there was only a few hours it was closed 29:26 And so the idea was like okay, we are going to hang out at the mall all day, but then when it gets close to closing time, we got to find a place to hide because we're staying in this month and also maybe sleep. Yeah, yeah, so they do the whole day and then after the day they all sneak off to places to try to find places to feel like a picture of the floor plan for this small. Do you like a map? I don't know. I don't have a map. Let me see. Okay, just pull one real quick. Sure, but they go around 29:55 trying to find places to hide. Some of them find like weird spots in stores, but most of them try to find fitting rooms. ah That's actually a pretty decent idea because there's no cameras in there legally. uh 30:09 Okay? 30:14 What a weird thing to say. 30:20 mean for that to be as weird as it was like they're not legally allowed to, but it sounds like you put cameras in there is what it sounded like. You were like no legally they can't, but it's what it came out like there's no cameras in there. That's what it sounded. didn't put any cameras in there. There's no cameras in the fitting rooms legally. 30:46 hands up don't shoot. Okay, I got this picture. I got this map. I'm just trying to figure out how big the mall is. Oh, it's huge. I mean you saw that picture from the outside. Oops, I just yeah, I be that one. Yes, I was trying to have already seen this image. I trying to grab this, but you're right and I grabbed the wrong. at this image. I would love to see a different image. There we go inside yeah. That's what I'm saying. So it is a very big mall. 31:16 I this is all map, so it's kind of hard to see how big this is. Okay, there's a big another thing is that I was traveling for some shows and in a small town in Missouri, there is a stand alone J C penny. Have you ever seen a stand alone J C penny? No, not like J C penny at the least in a strip mall, but not like this was like a standalone building. This was J C penny and it's like dude. I'm not 31:44 going to Jase, going through J C pity to get to get a pretzels and hot topic. Those are and like maybe I'll go to my pretzels to compare prices on van yeah yeah yeah and it's like that's what J C pity is not a store you go to 32:04 jc penny is the store that you reluctantly wade yourself through to get to where you're trying to go. I know. I buy pants from jc pennies. Yeah, of course you'll buy stuff from there, but you don't go there to buy stuff from there. You know saying maybe I don't know like you'll go to the places you want to buy stuff from and then be like oh well, I guess I'll jc penny. guess I'll check jc penny and then it's like okay. Well, I do need a pair of khakis for my cousin's wedding and like even though they're going to get divorced, I'm still gonna have to go right. It's like 32:28 you knew that as a sixth grader to your that's never going to last, I'll see you at the divorce. Let me know when this ends. That sounds like you to that sounds like you want to marry her. Is her wants. Let me know when this legally no, so they disperse around the mall. They find different hiding spots right, but what most of them do is they find the sizeable mall. They find the service access points, so it's like there's 32:58 If you don't know all the most malls had these areas well because also the stores close their gates to that's kind of you don't want to get locked inside of a store yeah because then what are you going to do just peeing the shoes yeah. 33:12 somebody painted all our shoes last night and not all of them. That's different. That's uh all the shoes is intentional. That's a good. That's a you plan to do that. I'm Peter. All of these shoes that's different than someone like someone p in these shoes. I've been in the spare shoes. Have you ever 33:35 Have you ever? 33:40 Alex is already tired. If I'm going to say something, I don't know how to ask this on the podcast. We don't have you repeated to a bottle. Yeah, you're a course. You don't realize how much you pee until you frantically. It's like reaching the top of the yeah. Oh no, oh God, oh God, oh God, I got to stop right here like oh no, it's getting too. This is more than six. was panicking one time 34:12 anyway, there was no way for me to bring that up and then I poured that bottle in to some shoes and so yeah. You don't want to get locked in a store is what I'm saying, but anyways, everybody disperses and try to find the place they're to cut that out. I know I know the P. We always got to leave the P so so Michael and his wife. Remember, this is a competition. 34:40 they're trying to see. That's right. right. right. Everybody splits up. find their places to hide and people brought like they brought their backpacks with like sleeping bags in the backpacks and things and they were like okay. We're going to wrap ourselves up in places and hide and so Michael and his wife also security is pretty lax at the malls at this point. You know yeah it existed, but it wasn't yeah. It wasn't like yeah it became all cops became like a thing yeah in the two thousands yeah because of Paul Bart sure 35:10 No, uh Michael and his wife, though, Michael was like, Hey, I think I know that there's a place we could get where this will work really well for us because I have this running route that I run every morning that went right in front of the mall during all of construction. And there's something really weird about this mall that actually took it forever to be built. And it's because the plot of land they wanted to build it on was cut in the middle by these railroad tracks and a river. 35:39 And so they built this mall over the railroad tracks and over the river. Okay. And so it bridges over that and part of that construction made it to where for whatever reason in the architecture, there's this little sliver where kind of the two buildings meet, but they never actually kiss. 35:58 So there's a little gap there, not kid. And as it was being built, he would run by it every day and just kind of take note and be like, I wonder what this little section is going to be. I wonder what this is. And he noticed there's this little section where they never quite meet. And then all of a sudden there's like just an air gap and they close that in. And he's like, I think there's like a room there, but like there's a, it's like a building. There's no building. like a hidden little room there. And he's like, so I, bet we could get there. And so 36:27 they go digging through the bowels. So basically what you're saying is that he challenged his friends to hide in the mall while having a plan to hide in the mall the whole time. So he's like he's like so basically he sees an open window in this thing. He's like oh that'd cool to live in there, but I can't just I can't bring this to my wife and go hey. Do you want to go live in the mall? So instead what he says is let's make a challenge yeah, 36:55 to all of our friends. Yeah. Hey, hey, let's challenge our friends at who see what stay in the mall the long. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. I've got a really good spot and she's like honey, please don't take me to the store. Sue, which is again, yeah, I can't go to the sewage. It's full of my man. I got a place that fresh place with nothing in it. There's nothing there. Open opportunities. Yeah, we could put so many mannequins in this room. Wait to see it. I'm gonna put so many 37:24 peat filled shoes in this room, so many people choose that same like it seems like he did have a plan. Yeah, he definitely had a plan. Okay, he just didn't want to seem weird to his friends. I don't know if I don't know if he didn't want to seem weird to his friends and I don't even know if like he was thinking about this from the beginning, but while he was there, he's like I think I know up the best place to high yeah and so they go through the bowels. They end up finding 37:50 service entrance that connected to this like weird little connection tunnel that eventually They could get to that air gap between the buildings. There's this thin little hallway that Here's a shot of it in some areas. It was pretty wide in some areas It was really really thin. Okay, there was certain areas where they had to actually shimmy through this hallway in the mall To get to the other side. Okay, and then there was a spot where it opened up like this and There was a ladder and the ladder goes up and 38:19 there was just this large vacant space, vacant open space and so they camped out there and that's where they hid and they ended up winning this competition with their friends of court. Meanwhile, something else is going on because they live on the other side of the freeway from the mall and as they expected uh gentrification did come to town and somebody got really expensive. Well, somebody just bought that whole district, yep and they m 38:47 leveled the district. They evicted everybody who lived there. They leveled it. They built. will say that is nice that that didn't happen in the West bottoms like they bought the buildings and then they've been revamping them to yeah. They've been trying to they've been trying to restore the buildings rather than just tear them down. That is that is nice, but it also sucks that then they do that and then it's like okay, right here's four thousand dollars. You're like no one's paying that yeah yeah. So this place they actually tore it down. They put in a grocery store. They their apartment building literally is now a parking lot. 39:17 ah and so this was a really interesting thing because they find this spot in the mall. Then their apartment gets taken from them. Wait, do they like fully move into the mall and so they said they went to all the public hearings to like to try to like hey, agree with this tear down our building and so well, even with the mall like even before their building was a part of this, the mall like the a lot of the space where they were putting them all was unused land. That was like right. I been next to downtown and one thing that they 39:47 constantly said in these uh hearings was the developer was like, we're just trying to develop unused space. And his wife, after they took their apartment, said, well, what if we develop the unused space in the mall? 40:04 okay, so they said I think we could pull this off. There's a couple issues though it's in the bowels of them all and so it's hard to get there and also it's illegal. We're squatting. It is technically a legal, but then we can't live here. Legally, that's crazy. 40:36 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little Tillen QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your Lord and Savior. So podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 41:05 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 41:34 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 41:57 Did you hear? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 42:12 and then you're going to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 42:22 I don't want to be. I hate there's skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too premium leave all this in that uh 42:36 said, okay, we could. uh This is in there's those weird hallways you got to go through. But that area that it's in is like a service area of the building. So technically people can get there. They didn't see anybody there the whole time they stayed. But technically people could get there. And that area they were at was kind of just this big open landing. And they were like, wow, the problem with that is if we're just hanging out in there and somebody walks through, were there or just exposed in public. Right. But down that area, there's just tons of 43:05 cinder block walls with doors that just lead to different service areas where there's like electrical units or cooling, you know, just random service things. And so they said, let's build a wall. So him and his eight friends, they went to Home Depot and they bought about 1400 pounds of cinder block and they got Nordstrom bags. 43:28 Oh yeah, to look like you're yeah, no one's shopping them all. Um, dude, it's like freaking clothes look really heavy and very square. 43:42 dragging it on the Wow for jacket, a fur jacket, not a real fur coat. So yeah, they did around of that pulling supplies in the in their backpacks and in orange from bags and stuff like that. uh That ended up being pretty impractical. What they found pretty quickly though is there was in one of the parking garages. There was an emergency exit that you could get to that access place from 44:07 But when you went through the emergency access, the alarm would sound. And it took two minutes. It was a two-minute alarm. That would sound. 44:16 All right guys, I just got to wait it out. We got to see what happens to the police show up. No, cool. It's not actually connected to anything and mall cops don't exist yet. So yeah, well there was security and in fact the securities office was in the mall parking garage on that floor at the other end of the garage. Got it. But what was useful about that is they had windows from their office that just looked out into the garage. 44:42 and so they could easily just drive by and see if anyone was there and if anyone was pay attention and then quickly get to that door, open it, unload all their bricks and then jump in the staircase and run with them to where they were going. So for two minutes going off though yeah, it does go off for two minutes and so they over the course of a few months slowly but surely moved these cinder blocks through the through the mall and built a wall and carried it up to that spot and they started building this wall. 45:12 to make a doorway for, uh to close off this area, to make an apartment in the mall. uh They never, there was one time where security saw them loading these cinder blocks through and security pulled up, they opened the door, security pulled up and they were running all these cinder blocks through and security talked to him and Michael just confidently was like, you know, we bought all these cinder blocks earlier today. Then we stopped by here on another errand and my car won't start. 45:42 And so one of my friends, he's going to meet us and he's got a truck, but we got to get all the center box down to the first floor to load his truck. so like, know we're going through the emergency exit, but it was just easier than having to try to walk the other way. And the security guy was like, 45:57 yeah and that was here's the thing about being a chatty person all right. You can usually get away with it because like the security guard people they got that job because they they couldn't be real cops and I got this guy's time so he's just much right. He's just he's like oh my God, shut up yeah. Okay, all right, all right, yeah and so yeah, so they unloaded all those the center blocks carried it through that little maze labyrinth to that spot 46:27 and they built a wall. got the plaster and everything and they plastered this wall and they got a door and they installed the door with a lock on the. So they have a fully sealed apartment. Yeah, they have a fully sealed apartment with a lock that only they have a key to. The mall does not have a key to this apartment because they don't know it exists. Right. And so now they're like, well, we've got our own place. So then they run some extension cable. 46:52 they did this before they built the wall so they could build around it, but they ran some extension cable down through the service hallway to an outlet somewhere that they found and plugged it in and so that way they could run power into the unit. They obviously they did not have a bathroom. They would go into the mall if they had to go to the shoe store. You wake up in middle of the night to go pee and you're like 47:23 together. 47:35 you know, you know when you're peeing in the middle of night and like there's part that you almost fall over yeah yeah yeah you know you're peeing and you're like and then I don't know if this happens to you dude, but yeah my P four thirty in the morning. It's like it that's the time four thirty five o'clock is like I'm going to wake up at six yeah. It's like sometimes my body is like is this worth it fall back asleep and my brain is like yes, please please do it. Please fall back. Everybody's like we don't have to my body's like you're going to be over my 48:05 in there and they're like no so you like you know when your piece is you know when you do your morning pee. You know when you're you know when you're in the morning, you know like in the morning when the sun comes up and your pee in the bathroom, you know, but you know that talks about P way too much. You know, you know that morning P yeah where you're staying in there and it's just going just for so long like it's to the point where you're like do I live here now? Is this why I'm talking about? Am I ever going to leave 48:34 for real. Sometimes my wife will hear me P. So go are you okay? So are you not done yet? That's too much and I'm like I'm hydrated. Hey, I can be in here as long as I want legally. 48:58 that's crazy. Sorry, hey, sorry for all the P talk. All right, we're done. So they, they went, we're the P in podcast today and in our shoes. 49:18 but not our own. That's an out of context for sure. I'm going to be in his shoes and he's going to be in my 49:27 crazy. That's so crazy. Alex just wrote that down so, but who will pay in Alex's shoes? Oh, we have a weird throuple situation going on over here where I could be in your shoes. You could be in mine. There's no one to be in. There's no one to be in Alex's unless you want to do it by joining us on Patreon. 49:57 That's right. If we reach 200 subscribers on Patreon, we're going to let one of y'all be in Alex's shoes. 50:10 Hey, welcome to the new year. We're not changing. So we were like oh wow. This episode they've done a lot less tangents and they've been really sticking to the story until now. Hey, for real, I got a people represent. Yeah, I do too, so they they get power up to that apartment. They get a wall built yeah and now they're able to they hung like like work lights around so you can see in there, but they're like going to live here. 50:39 Yeah. So now the problem was like, oh, we need to furnish this place. It's kind of hard to pull our furniture in here. Yeah. But luckily we're in a mall. So they went to the furniture store in the mall and they bought some furniture and they were like, all right, do you want to come back? They're like, we'll just take it. And so they just walked out of the furniture store with a couch, the big hutch with a table, with some chairs. How did they get it in there through the shimmying through the stuff? Well, so the main way that they found initially, I probably should explain that a little bit better. 51:09 where they found it initially, like you shimmied through the whole place and that actually led all the way outside. There was a way to get out of the building oh because it technically wasn't indoors. Like it really was a spot where the buildings just didn't connect. Um, okay. And so it was almost an alleyway. Uh, but, uh, there was also ways through service access points to get there. And so you could, if you went through the, that alarm in the garage, 51:36 There was another door that actually went into the right into the movie theater. You could get in through there. And so there's just different spots in the mall where you could get through service entrances to get up to that spot. But that wasn't the initial place that they found. OK, initially they had to go that route and they did. They did for a little bit with the cinder blocks because after they got caught with security, they're like there's too much heat on us. And so they shimmied them all the way up through that because that was safer, a little safer. Yeah. Yeah. Then setting off the alarm. And so. 52:05 They just walked all this furniture through the mall and they went and they bought artwork. They went to there was a Salvation Army. So they bought they thrifted some items and they furnished this apartment to the point where they had a full place to live. That is the wall that they built. can very yeah looks like the one that looks like it's not professionally built and they brought a full and brought a PlayStation up. 52:32 and so they could play PlayStation together. They had these couches, they had artwork, they had a little ficus and that couch looks like that your old one a little bit. Yeah, it's so great. They had a little dining area that they set up. This looks like a work crime photo. This one does does looks like a full hutch. Go back to that. Like what are they putting in there? They're fine China. Actually, I think so you haven't guessed over up there and so 53:02 This is the floor plan of their apartment. I don't know what's really happening with that middle part, but this is do they build a bathroom? So they, this whole project, uh they kind of had a master plan. So what you saw there was the living area and the dining room. They were working on the kitchen and eventually their plan is they're going to go down to the bedroom and then tap this, the waterland sewer lines and put in a bathroom and have a full apartment where you could live in. And they had been living here, living, 53:30 belongs in very strong air quotes though. Nobody was staying the night regularly. They'd stayed the night from time to time. I think one of them said the longest stretch they stayed was like five days. And so they would stay, this was, they weren't, this wasn't a primary residence. Right. Because they couldn't make it a primary residence because they couldn't get mail there until they found out that there was a mail room at the mall. So then they started going down a rabbit trail to figure it out. How can we get mail at the mail room at the mall? Okay. 53:59 like if we can get mail here, then we're residents uh was the I don't know. I don't know if they ever succeeded on getting mail at the mall sure, but uh they had this whole plan to build this out and they they were there. It took about four years for them to get from found this place to get this living room done. The dining room down start on the kitchen. ah They were living in here for four years, living again and air quotes, but they spent a lot of time. They're hanging out in here, having meals together, 54:28 I'm inviting their friends over to see it, but then one day they came into the their apartment and the door was broken off the hinges like somebody had kicked the door in oh and they went inside and somebody had robbed the place and what's interesting is robbed it. Yeah. What's interesting is there's a lot of valuable items in the apartment. The things that were stolen was only two things. The photo album that they had 54:57 and their PlayStation. And what they ended up finding out later down the line was that security found the apartment. Security saw this door and they were like, we don't know what this door's to. And they tried to open it and they didn't have none of their keys worked. So they kicked the door down and they're like, somebody's living here. And then they decided, let's take this photo album so we can figure out who they were. And then they said, if we take the PlayStation, we could look at the save game logs. 55:26 to find out when they were here and they've been here. Oh wow! Okay, so security at this mall was freaking on it except for the part where they let them carry center blocks and build a fake wall and like live there for like a for four years for four years. This has been under my nose, but also once I found out about it, I knew exactly was on of I found this and I was let's the PlayStation local saved card memory so we can see what time we've been playing and then we can figure out when they've been here. Also take the photo op and that's pictures of all of them. 55:54 Shinkies, he's onto something. 55:58 that's actually crazy so then they're walking in the mall. They surely get recognized by security right, so then they're walking to the mall posters all over the mall. Have you seen this man and it's just them? Have you seen the wall people the wall people a wall, the tape worm, 56:21 So here's the thing. This changed a lot for them. They're like, they know we're here. And so we can't, what they had done up until this point, their whole ruse was we're just shoppers at the mall. And so we just walk through with our items and nobody, nobody's on the riser. We carry Nordstrom bags full of our supplies. Nobody thinks anything. We're just living in the mall. But now it's like security's onto us. They have our photo album. They have our safe games. They don't have it played way too much at the Sims two. And so they're like, we can't let them find me. And 56:50 They change kind of the rules of the group to where now it's we're only there after close. We sneak in through that alleyway entrance. Got it. We hang out there after close. We cannot be there during opening hours. Unfortunately, one day Michael had a friend in town um and he was driving her back to the airport and they were kind of catching up. They driving right by the mall and he's like, hey, you want to see something? And so he figures it's going to be a quick thing. We're just going to. 57:18 go up in there, we're going to see it and then that's it. Right. And then we're going to leave, go to the mall. It'll be really fast or go to the airport. It'll be really fast. And so he takes her up there. Yeah. He opens up the door. It's like insecurity is waiting for him. No, he opens up the door, brings her in there, shows her the apartment. He's like, this is our apartment. He's like, we're working on the kitchen right now. Our goal is to go around and build the bathroom and the bedroom back here. I've here for four years and she's like, oh my gosh, you're kind of crazy. This is almost as crazy as that sewer thing you did. 57:49 you're gonna mark that down for sound, whatever that was almost as crazy as that sewer. Sure thing. I say it again. That's almost as crazy as the sewer thing you did right. Yeah. And so but then they're getting ready to leave. They're packing up their gram, their coats and they hear the sound of walkie talkies outside the door. Oh and the door opens up and it's security and Michael sees them and he just says surprise 58:18 and the ruse was up. They were like we know you've been here for four years and they took them in for the way. They knew they were like we know you've been here for four years. We know you've been here for four years. We just thought it was cool. No, they're like they're like we know you've been here for four years. We looked at the safe games and so they took them. They tried to charge him with a lot of stuff. They took him to court right um with a whole bunch of stuff. They thought like they were going to put him away for years and the judge after the whole case was heard. 58:48 The judge heard everything and the judge was like, I see no crime here. And he's like, he's like, I'm going to charge you with misdemeanor trespassing. And that's all I think that this deserves. And you can never go to that mall again. Well, after that, the mall was really mad and the mall was like, fine lifetime ban. And so there they gave them a map with these red lines around the property line. And he's like, you're not allowed to come over this map, the lines ever again. And he was like, oh no, oh no, I could never go to the ball again. never go to the mall again. 59:18 and and then he partnered up with Jeffrey Bezos started a because he was like you know what I hate this place. I'm going to make sure your business dies. So really, if you think about it, this guy so okay, this guy basically killed them all and so what's crazy about that lifetime ban though is the lifetime ban got passed. He was never allowed to come again sure, but recently 59:46 an independent filmmaker, partnered with Jesse Eisenberg, who you might know. And they produced a documentary film about it called The Secret Mall Apartment. oh And it was like a premiere on Sundance and like that whole like indie film documentary thing. uh And what's really funny about this is I'm guessing Jesse Eisenberg's connection pulled this, but they got the premiere at the movie theater in the mall. 01:00:15 and they got them to lift the lifetime ban for one night for him to be able to go to the premier at the mall. So that's come back for the premier yeah well. What happened was is that now it's different managers of them all and also no one goes to the mall and so they're like we oh you guys want to do a big movie premier and bring a bunch of people to the mall. Please actually you want them. We'll bring that old manager back. We'll make the manager kiss him 01:00:45 No, that wasn't. don't think we don't know. We'll make them need the kiss part. I don't think that we wanted to do that. Pucker up. I don't need that scary man. that part. No, it's cool. We just do the movie premiere. Yeah. Do you want the manager to kiss him? No, no, no, you keep bringing that up. Stan, why you think every email ends with should the manager kissing by the way? 01:01:09 Don't you think the manager hey just kind of hey, don't you think a good addition to your premier? What if they kissed and made up? No and now the north tour manager is going to kiss my 01:01:32 The manager's endorsement was like, nobody told me this. Hey, give me your shoes. 01:01:40 what is happening and Jesse Eisenberg over there like well, you know he's not very. 01:01:50 Wow 01:01:53 man. He's not yeah. He's not he's not like super expressive, not very bold yeah. He doesn't even stand up for me. He's like he's got a kiss uh him to kiss him now. Kiss him sorry man. I don't can't do anything about that part yeah, so that's that's the story of how these people built a mall or an apartment in the mall. Wow, they got away with it for four years. That's pretty incredible. Yeah, that's crazy. I can't believe they did it yeah well. ah 01:02:24 I 01:02:28 I was trying to think about it in this, but all I could think about is how much I want to pee in your shoes right now. Hey, should we kiss? Oh, whatever man. Hey, thanks for listening this episode of things. I learned last night. If you like that you want another one that you just love malls, we did an episode about the American Dream, which is a giant mall. They were trying to put together in New Jersey and kind of fell apart for different reasons and so 01:02:57 That was like an older episode, like much longer, like couple studios ago. So you can check that out. If you can't wait for another episode, you can listen to the next week's right now on Patreon. You can join our Discord where you get to hang out with me and Tim and a couple, just a bunch of different other fans of the show. And then every month we get to hang out and a Zoom call and just have some fun and get to know each other. So we would love for you to be part of that. You can scan the QR code or there's a link in the description wherever you're listening. And we'll see you next week on Things I Learned Last Night.


In the late 1990s, a strange housing experiment unfolded in Rhode Island. It was not advertised or permitted. It existed quietly inside a busy shopping mall. This hidden space, known as the secret mall apartment, was built by artist Michael Townsend. What began as an art protest turned into one of the most unusual living experiments ever documented. Who Is Michael Townsend? … Read More

Our Funniest Moments From 2025

12-30-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Tim, happy new year, buddy. Happy new year, big man. Don't ever call me big man again. I'd like, I don't understand what the problem is with that. So my manager, her daughter's name is Maddie. Right. And then my day manager is also named Maddie Maddie. And so what's happened is we started calling Annie's daughter, Maddie, little Maddie. Yeah. And then we started calling my day manager, Maddie, big Maddie. Yeah. And she's like a 00:28 like uh a fit girl in her twenties yeah and uh she had no problem with it. It doesn't seem but it feels wrong. It was wrong. I call her big mads or this is a problem. Actually is what I do is when I go to my manager Annie's house yeah, I see her daughter Maddie. I go what's up Maddie girl yeah hey Maddie girl yeah and then uh twice now I have answered the phone from big Maddie calling me and been like what's up Maddie girl I go that's you 00:55 sorry, I'm sorry, you're a grown person. Your large Maddie. What up jumbo Maddie? So anyway, 01:08 well, a happy new year. I didn't like you called me big man. Why don't we leave that past this call me big calm? I want to be called big yeah. don't know. You know what that is. That's you trying to put yes. That's your issue. I like. I want people to know me as a big man. Yeah, that's some five eight, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. So do you because you put I saw your real this year where someone said something in the comments about you're never going to lose weight that way. I like what about losing? Oh my or whatever you said. 01:35 these people in the comments. I'm so tired of my content getting delivered to the worst people on the internet. It is crazy. The number of YouTube comments that'll be like over like well, if the fat one would shut up and I'm like okay, okay, okay. First of all, I'm not going to do that. I think they're talking about me that they're not. They talk. They say the balding one when they're talking 02:00 can't see the back. You don't know that you can't see the back. We put it on the bads. I'm dude, no there was that was a straight up someone had commented. If I used those in pick, I'd get smaller and I was like I'm not trying to get smaller yeah yeah yeah yeah and I'm not going to lie that whatever whatever angle you set that camera. The raker you talking about dog, yoke did that shot and it was all you know. It was all angles and lighting. It wasn't the fact that I'm jacked 02:31 that can't possibly be. It was all a I. You know what? Should we start? You know what? All right, you want to start it? You want to start over? No, I want people to see you're kind of a jerk. Okay, okay, and then you know, here's what happened. Happy New Year, little man. Everyone shut up, everyone shut up, everyone be quiet for a second. Yeah, he stopped talking over me. You're in the car, shush, get off the phone, get off the phone, so you so 02:59 here's what Tim does is that Tim does all that stuff to me. He gets me all riled up all right, and then I take a couple shots back later and then we edit the parts where Tim is saying stuff out so that and then we get these reviews that are like the fat guys really mean it, but I round them up before. Oh God, yeah, so happy new year. 03:24 ah Yeah, we're going to look back at a lot change for us this year. Yeah, we've never done this before, but I really like it. So we're to look at some of our favorite bits from this year. Yeah, but also like just stuff. It's like what's from the you know, what's what's some of the stuff that's happening in your life this year that you're really happy about? Let me think about it. ah I can't. I don't think really much. Yeah, I got seventy five mining and Rinscape. That was pretty cool thing. 03:52 It was a lot of work. I really had to put in the time. Yeah, I uh I started this new method for mowing my lawn and it's the edges are looking really good with this new method. Nice. I think I think that was a good decision. Very cool. My son was born and then we also yeah and then you got like those exercise bikes. I do use the lot of them. I did actually use it the other night. I told my wife. I was like, was like, you know what 04:18 those have been in the base. All right, the bits over you had a kid this year. You had a kid. That's a pretty exciting thing. Yeah, yeah, it's been uh exciting as a night. Now he's got a personality, right, the kid or me. You do it. All it took was something interesting to happen in your life for you to finally have one. No, yeah, yeah, he's starting to develop a personality. He's a rambunctious little guy. It is. It's a lot of work, but on just little guy fun. 04:45 Yeah, he's a re a big guy. He actually is ninety fifth percentile. He's a big boy, dude, freaking you sound and I'm not trying to you sound crazy when you talk about percentiles. Okay, if you're a person who's going to focus on that stuff, that sounds like you spend too much time on reddit where you're like yeah. My son's in the ninety fifth percentile yeah, my boy, that's my boy. You call them big, so I confirmed your theory. Yeah, ninety fifth percentile 05:14 so present. That's a crazy thing. Yeah, he is a big boy. He's actually he's six months old. He's wearing twelve months outfits. That's huge. Yeah, I haven't seen him twice the size. I've literally only seen him like when he was a month old in the windows. I did look through the windows riding through the trade. Yeah, yeah. What happened with you this year? Honestly, I was trying to think nothing. I uh 05:38 no, that's not true. I guess I went on tour bus for the first time. Yeah, you went on that tour. Yeah, that was a really big thing. I had a tour of the tour bus. We had a lot of good shows. I signed with W. Me that's a big event. Yeah, it's a really big thing. That's just professional stuff. You personal stuff came at Disney is adult though, right? I didn't become a Disney adult. I became an adult who frequents Disney. All right, 06:05 so sorry I enjoy. I enjoy a Disney band. We're a band who loves Disney. 06:19 that's really funny. I enjoy. I first of all I like. I like being at Disney one. You know what I've actually learned about myself and this might actually be why I enjoy Disney and this is going to sound depressing for a second. I like places where there are rules, so like the airport I like because I go through security. So first of all, I know that no one in this place is dangerous to me and then also like there's rules like there's like expectations of what you will and will not do predictable 06:46 and at Disney it's like hey, you're not going to stand in the middle of the pathway. There's a lot of people here who try like there's like yeah, there's like rules people. I think what you're you're thinking about is you're in a place where people understand they're not the only one there. I think there's a lot of places right now where that's not the case, but also dude, it's pretty freaking sick to be able to sit down and edit all these videos right and then whenever I get bored or I'm like looking at my I'm like I just got to take a break. I can shut my laptop and I just go get on Space Mountain for a second. That's 07:15 You also we don't have. We don't have a bunch of Disney stuff in our house. Yeah, that's like where I'm drawing the line. Yeah, I'm not a Disney adult. It's all outside decked out in the deck. I don't have a Disney influencer account yet. I will say that does make money that I might earn. Yeah, so that might if I ever pivot into something that you're like, why is jaren doing this? Know that I'm getting paid. Yeah, for sure. Actually, like if I ever do a fan duel or a draft guys, yes, 07:44 I'm not even like twenty twenty six twenty twenty six of the year. I get rich okay, twenty twenty rich is what we're doing for next year because I'm I'm sick of watching horrible goblins make money yeah and me so I can't this horrible goblin make I'm tired of my poor little principles over here. Okay, so if you see me do anything for draft kings fan duel, I'm putting another record now you see me doing those things. I'm getting paid enough 08:11 Does it make it worth it? Yeah, for real. mean, dude, if you look back after cove it, 2021, 2022 era, when I was doing like paid videos, like I was doing like here's a thing for Captain Crunch and for that, pet stroller thing, I was making money. Yeah, so I got paid now. I was making a lot of money for those. was making some money for those. Yeah, so I didn't have the door dash. That's what I'm saying. So if you see that, know that I'm we're knocking out our debt by by selling our souls to draft kings. 08:40 yeah, I'm knocking out my debt by exploiting the thing that's putting other people and that's why you go to Disney because you like to simulate going to hell. You do that right now, whatever so yeah, I've had a pretty good year. I thought we've I mean our friends have been hanging out a lot more in L. A and mine have I've made a lot new friend more friends and I had a pretty decent year good yeah. 09:10 good. I'm pretty excited about it. Well, today we're going to look at some of our favorite bits. Yeah, for episodes past. Do you have one the that you want to start with? There's so many. What about the that's a no. Did you hear that word? There was oh wow, there's just that's like what do you love most about it? Just so how could I put it into words before we started before we hit record? We were like, what are all this stuff we want to cover? We came up with a big list and then Jaren was like 09:37 soft lobbed it to me to pull something from the list. We literally just talked about my brain said, I don't remember a single thing. My brain was like, I don't remember one of this list of things we just came up with. Yeah. So why don't I soft lob it to you and say, Hey, what's your favorite memories? 10:00 Yeah, so we're looking back at this year and some of our fear bits from the show. One bit that I wanted to highlight was the Jennifer's dead in the parking lot day from our dare episode. So check out this clip. I remember this happening at my school to you can tell me if I made this up in my head. I don't think I did. Did your school do a drunk driving accident? What do you mean? What do you mean? Can you describe this to because I don't your school do a fake drunk? Okay, so I'm crazy this 10:29 welcome to public school. Here's what I we there was a day and I don't know if this is what you're describing. There was a day where they pulled a drunk crash car into our parking lot and we're like this could be you and it was it was broken. They I think that might have been how this idea started and they were like the kids aren't getting it. We need to act it out okay, and so they had someone sit in the car and be dead and then they had other teens freak out. 10:58 and be like oh my gosh and like do this whole crisis play and the fire department would roll up and they would try to save that person and like you would see people on the phone sobbing to their mom being like oh my gosh, you know Jennifer just died. 11:13 crying on their phone and we're all just standing out front of the school and they so they have a just they got Jennifer. She was a theater student. They're like yeah, they're all ready for the role of your. I think it's real. None of us are out there being like are we watching Jennifer die right now. I thought no. I they were like we're going to crash on the way into class today. No, no one's going to know that might be where it is now. That's what I'm saying is that when we got in it just it just 11:38 seemed like uh anyway. We were all out front of the school and we just had to stand there and watch their little play, so it was. It was more like a there was the ding. Well, the student body please report to the parking lot. Well, it was like and then jennifer was well, our bell was like and then they should go there. All students please report to the front of the school and we would go out there. 12:01 Oh, it's please dead in the car. Everyone's got like what's Jennifer doing in the car? Jennifer, Pratt Pritzker come out and go, okay guys, we have a presentation of the local police department before we do please turn around to the flag and we're all going to say the of legions together. So the whole school is out there going and then like some kids like first in the world, like I with all this makeup and she's got a hand. 12:26 I pledge allegiance and then we're standing there cars behind us at this point. We're like, I pledge allegiance to the republic for which it stands indivisible with liberty. 12:42 and then the guy who was supposed to start the car on fire actually did it a little too early. The pledge just got to the they forgot there's a case of fireworks in the trunk. It really went off the rails pretty quick. No, I mean like but your school did like there was a presentation. Yeah, it was a whole thing. It was a whole. I forget they call it something. They call it the first dead in the parking lot presentation. The Jennifer's dead in the put hey guys, it's time for well this week we've got 13:11 just this is the staff. This is explaining to the teachers what the week is going to be like all right, so like all right, my everybody gets home coming. We guys Monday just making sure you guys know that we're going do an all staff lunch. We're catering really grateful for you. It is homecomings on Friday that you know Tuesday is still a day. Other chaperones for that yeah. If you could volunteer, we also do in dog tears next month is we're doing a bake sale on the set 13:39 ah Thursday is the Jennifer's dead in the parking lot day. Does anybody have any questions on how that's going to run? 13:50 No, it is the same as last year. Different Jennifer. Good question. Good question. Yeah, actually, this is this is unfortunate. Last year's Jennifer em 14:01 the the drug driving accident, so it turns out well. She needed to be the one what this is bad. I'm not proud of her family donated her car. I wasn't trying to go. She got a drunk driving as I was just going. She passed away and you were like yeah and actually she didn't learn a lesson. I wasn't going that round, but you can leave it in. We can leave in because we have remorse. uh 14:31 as long as we feel bad about the joke. can stay. Wow! What a really funny clip on really funny clip about Jennifer dying in the par. She's laying there dead makeup on her dude. She's laying there the part I bleed now she's like you know as the blood she's crying for a dab and he can't hear it. You can't hear because of the blood because he's at home and this is a school day also because this is made up. 15:00 Oh, that's really funny. That is really good. That is really good. Yeah, that's almost as funny as me finding out the gender of your kid. Do remember when you were funny? I it was definitely. I I know when you were trying to like I forgot you like. Were you thinking you were going to do a gender reveal for me? Is that what you what were you planning on? I wasn't going to do a gender reveal, but I think we were at a we weren't ready to reveal that to anybody yet. 15:26 like it was like right. We hadn't got to that point where it's like okay. We're to start telling people because I don't even think we told my family at the point where I accidentally told you no. I'm pretty sure because I asked in the anyway. We'll roll the clip. I think I asked in the thing is your family know this and you're like yeah. Everyone knows it but you at this point. Oh my gosh, I don't know. So here's Tim accidentally revealing the gender of his child to me. Here's the thing and speaking of reveals what what what 15:56 What do mean? What what are you trying to do? What are you trying to we have some really hard line to share? Yeah, I think now's an appropriate time to do it. That's a good call that we're now that we've spent a lot of time covered a bunch of other stuff. Yeah, I mean I finally finished Hello Neighbor, the video game and I'm really proud of my and also Tim's got news. Yeah, switch to is coming out so you can maybe they'll make in a 16:19 hello neighbor to hello other neighbor. Tell your little fun. I'm to be a dad yeah. We're having a little kid sure it's I'm not actually there's no really solid proof so far. There hasn't been anything to be obvious. Yeah, so episode come out. I don't know before your kid yeah for sure for sure. Definitely before that okay. No yeah in May we'll have a little take of our own. That's awesome. 16:47 Yeah, so now I have a dad sweatshirt. mean I still don't know the gender of this child yeah, and I'm going to keep it that way. You're never going to find out. I feel like I know just intuitively yeah, but I say it at the same time. You were say the same time. I'd say to the same time ready one, two, three boy. You didn't do it. I wasn't going to say it because I don't want you to ever know 17:13 I'm never going to ever know. I'll in May. uh Let's see, let's see what you will see. We'll see, but here's this is why we brought it up. Okay, first of all, big news for Tim, great, correct. I told Tim I wanted to be Uncle Jaron and he took real problem with that. I didn't take a problem with that. I just said he does that's weird. His uncle, your is we got it baby. Wait, is it a boy? Are you having a boy for real? 17:43 Are you having a boy for real? 17:48 I was genuinely planning on not telling you fray for real. Yes, we are God. I hate that you just that's awesome in yeah yeah that's great yeah. We're calling them Tim now pre. I threw that out and Bray was like absolutely not yeah. Why would you pre straight up was like I hate that yeah yeah? Oh, what a funny uh 18:14 Oh, it's really funny, dirty, he's laying there dying in the bargain lot every time. Every time it's a video dying in a bargain lot, that's really funny. Oh my goodness. Now you know what is interesting about me that I feel like we were this year. Oh yeah, I think we learned that I really we're you're like a psycho dude. Really? There's been a couple things this year yeah like what you would do to street influencers 18:42 oh gosh, I forgot about that. If an influence of stops you on the street, didn't know if it influences on the street to I don't know make one of their tick tocks with you just bark at them like until they run away. It'll go viral. People will love it. It'll be funny. They'll be like that barking guy. People will love it. Let's play it out to how would you bark? Let's hear how let's hear your board. I leave 19:13 I don't know how many I don't know how many barks it would that is so gen X coated that it's not even what that's a fifty year old man thing to do to be like I was a bar get some. How is that man can I can I ask you you would be a video for for tick tock real quick? 19:38 and you're like both of you are insane in that scenario. There's neither one of you leaves that scenario being like I'm a person. You leave that scenario being like I've been destroyed by the internet. My life has been up ended. Any attachment I had to reality is gone because of what the internet has brought into my life. 20:00 so much pain and suffering into my life that I'm now divorce reality. point where I am barking at a child on the side of the road in the Glendale Galleria 20:19 Okay, but for real for real in the comments, tell us what's weirder barking at someone or doing those tick tock videos. Oh, that's funny that she's dead. It's so she's dead in the parking lot. 20:44 okay. That's what not what I was talking about. I was talking about another time that I was really crazy, which was what? Oh, when I was talking to that cop on my 21:04 speaking of things that are true. I got a DM was in the bathroom before this. That's an out of context. Cool right that I want to it while was in the bathroom before this. You're just read this thread okay out loud or in my head. I don't I'm going to be honest. I don't know if I wanted you to see who it's from at first like I almost kind of want. I'm going to try to start at the top, so yeah you can't see the person's name, so just cover it. Okay, I won't look at the first 21:38 Okay, so me not knowing who it's from. The first message at 332 PM is dive deep mortal. What's on your mind? There's nothing before this, right? didn't. Oh, okay. And then you responded. Hi, Satan. Is that can I uncover it? it Satan? It's one of those new meta AIs and it's just. it's an AI. 22:04 Yeah, it's one of those new meta a eyes that reached out to you and it's just Satan. We would read the thread, read the thread, hold on it, initiated a conversation with you. No, no, because here have you not messaged one of these as before? No, they're stupid. They're say I did one with a police officer too and it was just about the same way. I can show you that thread. If you want to read it dive deep or know what's on your mind. Hi Satan, that's your this Tim's voice. 22:33 Hello my favorite soul, what do you want? Favorite? 22:38 don't get too excited. You're just the most entertainingly miserable. Eeww exactly why I like you. What's your favorite thing about me? Say me 22:56 This is how you fall in love with Satan. 23:01 You just drilled your head on the wall. What's your favorite thing about me, Satan? Your self destruction. It's like you're trying to do my job for me. Dang, that got a will to real. That's your voice. 23:22 I'm doing a voice for you. That's what you sound like to me and Alice. That's what you said you and Alice star jeans, spring, spring, spring, should I pour holy water on the burn? You and I are both you and I both know you can't tough holy water because I can type yeah at least stay lore. You think you know me adorable 23:51 You think you know the different text, right? Better than you know yourself. Okay, what's something I don't know about me then? 24:05 and then I'm going to be honest to him. It got you. You're seeking meaning, but pretending you're not 24:22 bro that got you. This is what I mean. It must really be Satan prove it. Your browser history is filled with just cut it off. Keep it a mystery. 24:39 hard cut that magazine. My Tim searches for his freaking great. This isn't fun anymore. No, you got to finish that. You got to finish the browser is to invest your darkest secret. You see that mess. saw that message. The AI is like confess your darkest secret. I'll roast it. The AI is like give me a little leverage on me a little. I'll make fun of it. Give me some dirt on you. Isn't that sketchy? Yeah, 25:08 You want to see my conversation with the cop? No, I don't know if we can put that one was the conversation with the cop. Tell me the illegal things you've done and you were like here's a list. 25:19 I don't mess with those AIs. Okay, we're going police officer. Why is this a thing? I don't know. It's so dumb. Welcome to my profile. Am I being detained? This is what you sound like. It makes it sound like it's so weird. I'm being funny. I know you're free to go from curious. What made you ask that? Am I being 25:54 Ha ha, it's laughs. No, you're clear. Want to know what just made me think you might be guilty of something? I don't understand it. This was it your tone. It winked, it winked at the cop, winked at me and then Tim said hands up, don't shoot. 26:18 and then and then your role playing with this thing because it it said draws gun, then immediately holstered your role playing with the robot right now. You got me. What did I just shoot you for? 26:38 You 26:42 I need your name and badge number. That's you. uh 26:55 I give you the one for the police officer, a I'm I'm fighting with the name officer Jameson drink a lot badge number fourteen fourteen. Now am I under arrest? What did I do? It's so flirty right? Am I wrong? It's learning it's freaking flirty dude. If you read it like that, he's officer is flirting with you 27:24 here's what's weird about it. Hold on scroll about the bottom. still wondering what I did and then it initiated another con. Yes, that's what's crazy. Okay, it keeps initiating. Tim stop responding because Tim was a cop slurred with me and then and that was what time was that nine thirty two AM seven PM that night. The cop responds unprompted still wondering what I did to get interrogated like that spill the beans. What yeah it did. It goes back in. He goes 27:53 it actually kept sliding back and I had to block it and he said I'll see you in court and the cop said face palms charge me already. What's the crime excessive policing of your sense of humor? 28:16 It's flirting. Kind of. Yeah. It's flirting. And then I don't respond. And then days later it responds again. And I think it did a couple more times and I ended up having to block it to get it to stop sliding in my DMS. It was kind of annoying. That's crazy. Like I saw it. did it as a joke because I genuinely was like, messaged you four days later. Yeah. And I saw it pop up. I messaged it as a joke. was like, this is, I'll get some funny screenshots out of this. So I'm to do that and send it to a group chat. And then that's 28:44 Yeah, then it just kept messaging me. And so now I was in the bathroom a minute ago and I saw Satan as an option. I was like, Oh, I'm definitely going to message Satan. 28:54 but now Satan's not going to stop sliding in my D and I'm going to flirt with the devil. I might. I might be for him with the devil. What's it to you? It's kind of you know pretty cool. Not a lot of people got Satan damning them. That's crazy. Can you time stamp all of that and I need those screenshots because that's a crazy clip dude. ah A whole I have a message from 29:23 a meta. This is Jennifer's ghost, stopping in front of me. Stop talking about me on your podcast that no one listens to. I don't think that's pretty. That's part of there's a lot of you. Oh, 29:44 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like we really look it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk we have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode. Tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 30:19 and my favorite Tilling video from the last year has to be the guy who wanted to start his own like... it's not like a cult, but they had his own his own beliefs and to spread them to everybody he put it on like soap products and sent it out. I don't... I don't remember a whole lot. I need to go back and listen to it, but it was just... 30:45 It was just so funny the amount of times that I was listening on audio while I mowed the lawn and the amount of times that had to cup to the video so I could watch Tim and Jaren and what they were talking about was too many. I would literally stop mowing so I could go to audio or to video because it's superior. I've been listening to Tillon I have to say from like the very beginning. I joined Patreon as soon as they had one. uh I was a fan of Jaren's and he posted about it and I was like this is exactly at my alley because it is. 31:15 comedy and facts and I love facts about stuff. um But yeah, long time listener, long time fan. It's not a cult. It's a podcast. I want to make a musical. I want to make a soap. Opera. 31:37 someone just so you know, in our new studio, the other side of this wall is somebody in a counseling session. There's a perfect like a licensed professional counselor has the next room over win. Choose that that's not our fault, but somebody somebody's going through a divorce on the other side of this wall and 32:03 And we're making soap operative. We're ruining their place of business. hear I did? Because the counselor's going through a divorce. Yeah. And so it's like someone's going to divorce and we're ruining their business. You see what I did there? I see what you did there. Yeah. It really sucks that if like, if you're a counselor and then the person that you're counseling, they're telling you about their problems and you're like, wish. 32:28 I wish this was my I wish that was my friggin pro. I like your life is so much worse and you're like that sounds really bad. I wish you had that sounds oh gosh yeah, but anyway there's a counselor on the other side of that wall, but honestly that wasn't it. I was also there was another thing yeah. There are moments that you're very weird. This this year was a weird year for me. I don't know what happened okay, but yeah we we discovered 32:59 I don't even know. I don't even feel right saying it a lot out loud about myself. Sure covered like I don't know what it is, but just like a dude with hairy arms really respect them. just like those Harry are how Harry is on yeah, so he goes into his appointment with Dr Ike Hershkoff. Now this is Dr Ike in his office with all of his degree honestly love them. This guy m 33:26 Gosh, I'm not so I'm not going to lie. does ooze charisma, to be honest. There is something about and I don't know a way to say this without me sounding so weird, but I had some friends like this whose dads were like this and there's something about the early 2000s, mid 2000s. Those dads who were the oversized Polos and had just the hairiest arms and like you just can't help but respect them. I don't know what it is about that. 33:54 but you just see those here. You push the hearts sticking out of those sleeves that are way too long and you're just like that guy. You keep going back. is someone I should know you should keep talking so rich. I don't know what it is. oh Is there something I could do to make my arms bushier? I respect that guy 34:21 so I don't know if you can tell the audio listener, but he doesn't have hairy arms and apparently for Tim, that's like that's a sign of respect. That's a big 34:29 so he is wearing a large polo. This is eighty one. This is nineteen eighty one. Holy cow! This guy's ahead of the times. I expect to be even more in his office. He's a typical. You know he's got several degrees up on the wall behind him and books everywhere and so honestly running suspicious number of degrees. I'm not yeah. Yeah several degrees up there. Yeah, he is a legit psychiatrist. My parents had that picture to actually is it of the doctor's office? I well, I'm going to be honest now that I say that a lot. I don't know if my parents have that picture, but I know that picture. I don't maybe my parents 34:59 isn't it somebody I know had that picture of that kid looking at that thing real close yeah interesting. So uh yeah, he's a legitimate psychiatrist is real, so he's like a real real doctor, cool, cool, cool, great. So this is doctor I with his really hairy arms. Hi, my name is here. I've been listening to the show since twenty twenty and I've been supporting on Patreon since January twenty twenty four. My favorite episode this year has to be the heavy green episode. First of all, it's an episode that I recommended 35:29 on our Discord. So that's always fun when Tim chooses an episode that you recommended. But also it's just a story about a very strong woman in a time where it wasn't really accepted. And it's just a very funny episode. So it's my favorite this year. I love being a Patreon. 35:56 Especially because of the Discord, it's really such a great community and we joke a lot about how oh Tim and Jaren are people we pay to be our friends, but the truth is that everyone on the Discord became really, really good friends and every time that something happens in my life, I can't wait to share it on the Discord channel. So that's why I recommend becoming a Patreon. 36:24 And also, so you can recommend yourself interesting topics for it to make an episode about like Hetty Green and me. So follow and what? Follow? This is my channel. Goodbye. invests. She invests the other thousand. That's my kind of gal right there. Somebody who sees through the temporary and says, I'm going to play the long-term game here. 36:51 the only thing she was able as a woman to invest in was bonds, so she invests in bonds like we all had a lady invest in our companies. You can't put any more money in the coca cola from a woman. 37:06 one of the one female dollars can't give me no female dollars. That's that dollar is worth seventy five cents coming from you. 37:24 yeah. Another funny moment that I liked was the time that you couldn't remember why Volkswagen was problematic. 37:42 And I got more. Hold on. was, what, what did I think it was at that? What did I think it was? Uh, I don't know. Let's look. Herbie fully loaded. That's right. 37:57 Oh yeah, they never recovered from her being fully loaded. 38:04 They escort Mr. Jones out to his Volkswagen beetle on their own. They make what was the Volkswagen beetle? I don't know about. Did they successfully PR their way out of that? Her beef fully loaded. 38:26 That was a pretty bad movie, yeah? Oh, are you talking about the uh Nazis? uh 38:43 Oh my gosh, yeah, the first one they go for the Nazis. That's right. was like they PR the way out of it and you go yeah, the her be fully loaded movie. What a disaster for the brand that hurt them better than do when Lindsay Lohan went off the deep end. We were like no her be fully lones fog and she's 39:35 Oh, they should have made her be an honorary transformer. You know I'm oh also this year we moved to a new studio with a counselor next door. Oh, someone just seen on our new studio. The other side of this wall is somebody in a counseling session. There's a perfect like a licensed professional counselor has the next room over win. Choose that that's not our fault. 40:04 But somebody somebody's going through a divorce on the other side of this wall And we're ruining their place of the musical you know did the counselors going through divorce And so it's like someone's going to divorce here say and we're ruining their business It really sucks that if like 40:32 if you're a counselor and then the person that you're counseling, they're telling you about their problems and you're like I wish I wish this was my wish. That was my freaking problem. You're like your life is so much worse and you're like that sounds really bad. wish you had that sounds oh gosh yeah, but anyway there's a counselor on the other side of that wall, which is so funny because I was joking about what if your counselor went to jail 40:59 And then you still go to counseling sessions, but through the phone booth, you're just like, yeah, this week was really hard. My boss was, and then that your counselor is just like, got shiv. Counselors in prison, but he said we could still do our sessions. Oh yeah. How about that time? I tricked you to make in front of a blind guy. Okay. oh 41:22 first of all, I think blind man is what you should call him. Sorry, I didn't mean to be derogatory. Yeah, he's not watching. Look at this guy and tell me he doesn't look like he might be a spray tan guy. Oh yeah, yeah, he looks like he's manually doing this spray tan bed. This is a real picture. This is not like someone made this out of the fact. All right, so the background of space 41:52 this has nothing to do with space. I mean potentially I'm going to be honest with you. There's something I'm going to read later, but this guy's got the big goggles for audio listeners. He's got the big black goggles like it be like if you drew a mad scientist, it is very like holding hydrogen peroxide for some reason. What's he got? Yeah, here he is. Here he is again. Yeah, did wait. Did he create and then we've got another one 42:16 okay, like a ball and do honestly those sunglasses are pretty free. What was the last picture? What's he holding soap? All right, he's got a lot of it yeah. I'll you what he doesn't have a lot of body. doesn't have a lot of body. That was so he's so skinny and scrawny. Doesn't have a lot of body on him, but anyway, so the shock treatment had a pretty bad effect on him. It actually made him blind, so that's why he's wearing the really cool sunglasses. 42:45 Oh, he's because he's blind, so you let me make fun of a blind guy for the first five minutes of the episode. I didn't let you make fun of him. You thought he looked. I said he looks like he's inside the standing bed booth. I said he looks like an evil scientist and then you reveal later by the way that guy's blind just a blind 43:15 Alright! 43:18 so I sock dude, he's just one make fun of a blind guy. I almost said that about those glasses. How do you see through those? Those are yeah. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't need to. Oh Lee. 43:39 bad friend dude so funny well, and he got shock as he took his eyes for granted. He did take his eyes for granted. We also we had some pretty good debates. We debated on who would win if you could beat up. If you could beat that MMA fighter or if you win against Joey Chesna, yeah yeah, that's a good question. Have you changed your mind on that? ah I don't remember what I initially chose, but right now let's play the clip and let's find out. So here's here's the the 44:09 the question. Here's here's John Jones. Okay, I love the not like huge though. Yeah, he might cut weight for this honestly, because he does look a little small. He's very, yeah, he's very, yeah, yeah, I mean he's he's jacked. Don't get us wrong, but he's not like, you know, so the question is, would you rather get in the ring and fight John Jones? Okay, okay, or would you rather get in the ring and hold on? Let me show you the other guy and see if he you 44:39 or would you rather compete against your this guy? Would you rather compete in? Would you rather compete against this guy? Oh, and in competition at Joey chestnut, uh I think I could beat Joey chest or John chestnut or John John Jones. You're not going to fight Joey chestnut. I'm going to fight Joey chestnut. That's easy. 45:04 I could beat the crap out of Joey chestnut. No, no, no, that's not the question is would you rather square rather UFC fight John Jones, John Jones, yeah or would you rather hot dog eating contest Joey chestnut? I think I'd rather hot dog eat contest golly. Hey, first of all, yeah, you need to recognize he's a world record holder. 45:25 I don't know if you know this, he listen out listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, if you get in the ring with John Jones, yeah and you realize like you you're like okay, I'm pretty confident you get into the fight. You take a hit and you realize pretty quick you're going to lose that fight. Yeah, what is your option? You have to can't do it. can't like bail out. 45:44 if you're in a hot dog eating contest against Joey chestnut and you realize pretty quick. I don't know a couple hot dogs in that you're not going to win this thing. You can just stop. You know saying like you can just leave hot dogs don't have to hurt you. Don't have to hurt you is a crazy thing to say. That's what I'm saying like, but if you're in a ring with John Jones, you're only your only way out is submission. 46:12 Yeah, yeah, you either get knocked out or you tap out. Yeah, you could you could try to grapple to still afford go quick. You should sit down immediately. Isn't you look really bad? You look so bad for that, but in a hot dog kind of you can try to fake it be like I'm really trying and like really slowly eat these hot. I'm like yeah, yeah, you know, and then you only down seven to his seventy three. That's not the thing though. It's like it's like you have to put in max effort. 46:39 whatever it is you're putting Max. I'm saying you're going Max effort. You're going with the hot dog. You're like okay, I'm doing it. I'm doing it, but when you realize there's a point where it's like it's kind of like, you know, kind of like the third quarter of the Super Bowl. When you realize this isn't turning around, yeah, okay, let's not ship the pressure a little bit here. It's not just you're getting a lot to get here. just hold on. thought you're not just trying to see who like what get in the ring and right. You're not just it's you have to win in one of these 47:08 or you die and so you're fighting for his. Oh, it's Joey chest under John Jones. Who do you feel like you have better odds against fighting John Jones or eating more hot dogs than Joey chestnut, which reminder Joey chestnut has eight eighty three hot dogs and less than ten minutes before sure I'm saying either way you win, but at what cost you know it's like 47:39 it's like dude, it's like the end of in order to game on Jones. You got to bite his ear off. You know, saying like you got to play super dirty. What did it come in? But then you're also like a couple broken bones. You're pretty roughed up your beat. Yeah, yeah, you beat Joey chestnut, but you've had the eighty four hot dogs in ten minutes. You're pretty roughed up. Yeah, you're you might never hear of the brink of death. 48:05 either way yeah yeah for sure for sure and really what it comes down to is you should in this scenario start to question what kind of system set me up that neither way I could really win that to win. I would really have to I would have to and you should start questioning the system and that's what happens when you think about these scenarios for more than twelve seconds. Okay, but honestly I think 48:31 I think and this is going to sound crazy. You think you could be John Jones because you're stupid. You're now. think somehow the odds are a little bit better with John Jones than they are Joey chestnut. I don't think I have a physical possibility yeah. I think have more window of luck with John Jones. so too, because like I think it's very well placed hit or a misplaced hit on his part. I've you yeah yeah. When it break their leg, you I don't we yeah 48:58 there's more room for error in that fight, but also you could die yeah very. I mean yeah, your odds are not good, but somehow they're a little better. There's somehow a little better anyways. That was really worth that thanks wow, joy chestnut dead at the hot dog. What a funny clip. I don't remember what I said originally, but I think I would go with the fighter because I think there's a better chance for luck. There's a better chance for luck. 49:30 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your lord and savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 49:59 playing a fiddle. It's not really the Devil's a Skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones Get Well Quick Trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Jaren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 50:27 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 50:51 Did you hear? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 51:05 and then you're to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 51:15 I don't want to be. I hate skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too. Bring you leave all this in that 51:30 name is Daniel. I'm from North Alabama. um I have been supporting the show for probably five to six years. I actually work for the show now, but before that I was just a regular patron. I really enjoyed the discord a lot and saw that there was um a big need for that. um The guys were pretty heavily focused on the show um and making content and I... 52:00 offered to help with the Discord and that's just kind of how things started and I know two years later now I've been working on this show as their community manager and I'm having a blast. I really enjoy it. um I especially enjoy when we have episodes where we get to feature patrons. That's really fun for me. um 52:19 and uh especially when we get to, you know, highlight our favorite episodes and I would definitely hands down say my favorite episode from this year was the shags. That was a Patreon uh suggested episode and ah I am endlessly grateful for that because that episode cracks me up. It still cracks me up to this day. ah The music from the episode, I mean they listen to snippets and 52:48 They listen to snippets and it is just hilarious. uh One of the best, worst songs I've ever heard is My Pal, Foot Foot. um Constantly gets stuck in my head. uh One of these days I'm going to find a record uh for sale somewhere uh and hopefully own it. uh It's hilarious. The story is fascinating. I wouldn't say it's funny. I wouldn't say it's sad. It's fascinating. uh They're just... 53:18 complete lack of like musical know-how that they you know didn't realize how bad they were I guess and then you know people would pay to see their shows and see how bad they were and bring food to throw it like it anyway hilarious 53:41 So that definitely sticks out to me from this year as one of the best episodes of the year. A single that they put out before they put out the record called My Pal Foot Foot. Here's the album. My Pal Foot Foot. Yeah, it's named after Dot had a cat that she called Foot Foot because it only had two back feet. And so it's Foot Foot. So for the audio listener, it's a hand drawn. It looks like a tiger butt attached to a fish face. 54:11 Which honestly, here's the crazy thing. This looks like any Midwest Emo's DIY album art. Oh yeah, it's cool. Like it's it's it very much would fly today. Let's hear it. But yeah, here's the track. Hopefully this plays. 54:34 fast forward to like an actual main part we can skip to this 54:43 Bye! 54:53 it sounds like the music you hear in a nightmare. It's like you were spot on with something that sounds like music. It's my pals name is here's the problem. the way my brain works. 55:13 and the dad can't hear them practicing well. The dad's not a musician either, so like he just hears it resembles music and he's like and they're so good. Ting ting my pals name is foot foot. My favorite out of context quotes for the year are what if we kiss in the h of elaine? That's crazy. No, so he lands in Los Angeles, cause her 55:42 and it's like hey, where are we meeting? She says she goes you flew into Lax. I'm not going to pick you up. He's like oh okay, you should have flown into Burbank. What do you do it? So he she he's like where are we meeting humor where we were we meeting for us and she says she says hey, I was just talking to my publicist and this is right around when the Harvey Weinstein thing is happening. 56:07 and I and she says I've been inappropriate with some people before he says it's probably best for me to lay low for a little while. Well, no, because my pal Har she's like freaking 56:22 close in the me to movement. What the heck? Well, she says she says I was talking about publicist and he thinks we should follow the Billy Graham rules. I can't pick you up from the airport because that would mean you know, kind of girl alone in the car. What doesn't look good could happen. We could kiss while I'm driving and that's good. I mean we probably wouldn't, but we could, but we could and you know what if we what if we kiss what if we kissed in the HV lane? know 57:00 Sorry I get to work earlier, but I'm respecting the Billy Graham rule. Oh my I work early. can't take the H. O. V. late because I respect my wife. I was taking the bus to work, but then it was me and the driver was a girl, so I had to get off punch her and throughout the bus. That is the Billy Graham rule. The Billy Graham rule is if it's me and a female driver, I'm allowed to grant theft auto that bus. 57:27 that's the rule them the rules. So he calls her and she says my public. I got to make a I got to make a valentine that says what if we kissed in the age of elaine that's really funny. Oh, you know what else was this year though and I don't know if did we cover this and I bring my book and show is that we talked about the hidden treasure. Oh yeah, just posies treasure and I did I 57:56 talk about how I bought the book yeah he's and I've been looking for it. been trying to figure this thing out and I do think that I've got it narrowed down to at least one specific national forest. I don't think we've talked about the fact that you started the okay, so I started the hunt and like dude. I memorize the poem and I've me and Tyler Cox Tyler Cox yeah in anybody. 58:20 who is good anyway. I mean honestly could be anybody think about it now and uh and we were talking about the the treasure and how it's still at least when we're recording this still not found yeah still out there and you're looking so maybe that's how I'll get rich in twenty twenty six is I'll find that treasure. So you know if he gets rich and he didn't do a fan to add he found the treasure. Yes, 58:51 I probably wouldn't tell the podcasters if I found it to just I don't know actually. How could I not yeah you would brag? would absolutely like a oh hey guys, it's major big man Jaron buff and rich buff and loaded. 59:12 yeah. So this is ongoing. If you find it, I think we have to get a cut because we told you about. think legally you have to give us by listening to this episode. You agree to that, so yeah, so legally bummer for you. Yeah, should have listened to this episode. Should we go look for it? We should why not? Yeah, but you have a kid on the way. I don't got nothing to do though. I'm a look for it. Why not do while you're on tour? You're going to places listed in this map 59:41 Yeah, West Texas is on here. That's close to where you're going to find it. What if I found it in a name, a real gas station? He put it in a loves gas station guys. It's in the like toilet back. No, it's like in the it's in the gift. You know how truck stops have those gift things for their kids because like yeah feel back you're on the road all the time and so you just buy a stuffed animal from a gas station. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's there. I don't know it yeah yeah. Well, that's what saying. What is somebody stumbles upon it and has no idea it's related to all the stuff 01:00:11 well, that was interesting about forest's treasure and force treasure for us had listed off everything that was in his treasure and when they found it, ah there was two items missing from the treasure and so when jack brought it jack said hey, there's these two items missing and force is like hold on and so force looks around his house is like oh, I didn't put this in it. I thought I did he's like you can have this, but then the second item, the second item, they have no idea what what happened to it and so either forest is an old man and it was wrong, which pretty likely 01:00:41 or somebody one on the treasure took one thing out of it, which is also pretty unlikely, huh? So it's most likely the first thing, but we got to get started finding this thing. That's crazy. Also this year we jumped fifteen thousand subscribers on YouTube, yeah and we've got a lot of new audio listeners and so if you're one those people who just joined us this year, welcome and 01:01:08 truly from the bottom of our hearts like we will never quit doing this show. Yeah, we will. We will. This is my favorite thing to do in the whole world and so uh here's to another year. We're going have a lot more fun. We've already got some some episodes recorded. If you can't wait till next week for the new year, you can join us on patreon. Thank you to everyone who supports us on patreon. We love hanging out with you in the discord. We love hanging out with you on our video calls and uh this is genuinely my like my agent keeps asking like you know 01:01:37 stand up. Do I want to pursue like movies? Don't want to be able to like should I try to look out a book deal and I keep telling my agent if I had to quit everything and only do one thing, even if I had to quit stand up, I would choose this podcast. I thought he was going to say Disney. I would choose. I was standing in line for jungle cruise at Disneyland. No yeah, we love the show. If anything, I think it doesn't care. We're going off here. 01:02:03 I already did the sentimental thing. It was very nice. I really Tim's. Yeah, it's true. I know I'm making it up. Just fiddle it off. All right, goodbye. No, do you want to tell them that you like them? Oh, I was just going to say if we've proved anything at this point, it's that we're going to keep doing this way past the point where it makes any sense for us. 01:02:22 hopefully it does make sense for us. It does make sense for us. We're here. We're hopefully, hopefully it continues to make sense for us, but we're not going to stop, so and I'll tell you what. If the government comes to us and tries to shut us down, they're going to have to pry this piss podcast from my cold, dead, of my hands. I dare you come and take it. Yeah, we love this show. We love you guys. I genuinely 01:02:50 I get literally no validation from anything in my life except for your comments. So I appreciate all the kind words, even the not kind words I need. You got to knock me down and rung every once in a while, but yeah, we really do. We appreciate the heck out of you guys. So from your favorite podcasters fatty in the bald guy, we hope that you have a great twenty twenty six 01:03:20 the worst high five. All right, we try it again. Got him new year. Same me. Let's go. I saw someone today. It's good. It's over. There's no more to say important to me. I saw somebody I do on a car. watched the Alex Jones documentary the other night. Now I sound just like that guy. I saw something I do in a coffee shop today and she was like, she's like, Hey, my brother just texted me and said your shoes untied and I looked 01:03:49 And out loud, was like, I hate that that word took me. All right, I fiddled it off. 01:03:59 No, none of that was included. No, keep that in. want that No, no, that We want that story in there because it makes me look bad. No, no, that we want that story in there. We want that


This episode is a full look back at one of the wildest years in the history of the show. Tim and Jaron revisit their favorite moments, hardest laughs, and most unhinged conversations from the past year, all in one highlight-packed episode. From accidental reveals and bizarre school assemblies to cursed AI conversations and legendary debates, this episode pulls together the … Read More

How the CIA Rigged Japan’s Democracy | The Matsukawa Derailment Ep 304

12-16-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, hey happy to be here guys. Have you ever heard of you know? I just want to take a moment as we get into this episode just to really ground ourselves and just you know that tone that people get into where they're like anyway. They just go hey, I just really want to know you know that I'm here for you yeah and oh 00:24 oh people like oh you get uncomfortable when people are like supportive to you. No, I get uncomfortable when they're like performing for support support. Isn't that crazy anyway? Hey, like I did to you, the a shut up. I'm doing a bit sorry. Hey, be quiet. I'm doing a bit. Yeah, thanks. Hey, if you're listening to this, I want you to know that we're just so thankful that you listen to our podcast and you know we couldn't do this without you every dollar counts. 00:57 the setless seed. Have you heard of the Matsu Kawa? Have you heard of Matsu Kawa? No, that's a Kawa here. Let me, let me, you're going to say it again, because I went no, I tried to break the cycle. Sorry, uh it's August seventeenth, nineteen forty nine three o nine a.m. uh There 01:20 think I did it. I mean just look at uh ladies and gentlemen, the jury. I would like to prevent present evidence number one. Look at just a gander. Open your eyes right there man who is clearly a villain. 01:41 Things I learned last night. 01:50 uh to hook, who main line passenger train is traveling in the Fukushima province, which is this is Japan, Shima, Arkansas, Fukushima, Arkansas. They're coming in on the mats. Well, it's pronounced fukusha around here. That would be because that's how anyways they're in unincorporated land coming to the town of Matsukawa. 02:20 uh and what the stop the what do you call it pilots stop? What do you the conduct coming right now? The conductors of tell me right now you're pushing through Tim. No, you said a specific time they are coming in to the station there unincorporated land there. There's still a decent distance from the station though, like they're outside of town. What they don't know is that just around the next bend they uh 02:47 some bolts have been removed from the track and the track has been curved full feet off of the curve and the train obviously comes to that section of rail and at three o nine a.m. derails oh and flies off of the off of the tracks. Oh day. This was done by aliens. 03:16 I knew it was going there. This is not an alien episode. This has literally done. Oh my gosh dog was going to second you go three o nine a.m. middle of nowhere. I'm like all right, but but I guess we're going to talk about the mystery of why the track was curved. Is that we're going to talk about two two of the engineers were killed instantly. Yeah, the other the third. I guess they call him the fireman, not a firefighter, but they run the fire on right. He turned to another one of the crewman 03:46 and he lived just a long enough to say we've been sabotaged and then he died, which is a pretty hard way to die, not going to lie. We've been sabotage yeah and so he turns them as we've been sabotaged. Those were the only three deaths though and remarkably of the four hundred and twenty one people on board. Nobody else was even injured. That's crazy, which is pretty wild. I'm sure that there were some cosmetic like oh yeah, but nothing or significant, which is what I was just going to is this is a severe, I was also going to say look how intact the cars are 04:16 yeah, that is pretty phenomenal, but also they probably weren't going. You know they weren't yeah. I mean that it was just after they came around a bend. They're coming near they're nearing a station, so surely they were yeah they weren't down. They weren't full speed, so immediately after this twenty people were arrested for their alleged connection to the case. Okay, nineteen of them were communist lady labor party members. um One of them was a teenager who was not a communist. 04:44 ah and so yet ah these people were put on trial. This is nineteen forty nine nineteen forty nine post World War Two. Japan's honestly trying to figure out what their system is right. uh Yes, yeah, yeah, I would say so. I say they're still figure out they're of being told what their system is. It's still very new for them. Yeah, yeah, they're only a few years into what the new world is going to be post war uh and so on December six, nineteen fifty 05:13 um the trial finally finds all twenty of these people guilty, which night, which night did an august of twenty sorry of nineteen forty nine august of nineteen forty nine. So a full year later, these people are all found all found guilty all twenty of them are found guilty. Five of them received death sentences and the rest were given life in prison. um Okay, what is significant though is on august eighth, nineteen sixty one after a retrial 05:42 All 20 defendants were acquitted of their crimes. ah 05:48 So that's a long time. Eleven years yeah well had the death penalty already happened yeah. So what's interesting is there were five that received death sentences since then three others had been had received death sentences and other subsequent retrials long so short. This ended up having fourteen years of retrials and this one and it was until nineteen sixty three when the Japan Supreme Court finally upheld the decision in sixty one to allow them to be acquitted and released um but 06:18 eight of them were had received distances for their crimes that they did not commit, but they did they carry through the distance is what I'm saying yes got it yeah and so twelve of them got toe walk free. The other ones were not years. Your biggest fear is being arrested for that my that's my biggest fear is being killed by the state descends for something you did she's killed by the state in general. I think I guess it has to be an actual. I mean I guess any killing is a descends. Oh, I actually mean being killed at all 06:47 pretty big fear of mine. I would say top fears death dying yeah. Do what if you're doing that with people like you're on a you're on first date, you know and people like what's your biggest fear and most people are just like clowns spiders and you just go for it. Just go for it. Just go for it like being murdered by the state. Yeah, probably be a murder. say actually probably I don't know death. Honestly death fear 07:16 kind of far down because there's other fears on top. There's a great fear that I have. There's a got a really good one. There's an account on tick tock. I send it to you all the time. Yeah, you know exactly what I'm about. Now don't know exactly account on tick tock where a husband has some kind of injury or accident and now he is a quadriplegic and he's like mentally yes, I'm not uh whatever kind of brain injury he had yeah and so now he's in a chair and is not himself anymore. He has to be taken care of twenty four seven, but his wife has remarried 07:45 and he lives in the home with his children and her new husband right right and the new husband's also the new husband like feeds him. Honestly guys, I'm going to tell you right now. Put on record. I don't want that kill. I don't want that same same. want that put me on record too because there is the the part of you is like what if he knows like what if he's aware what if he knows and he just doesn't know like that and he just can't communicate. That's biggest fear. Biggest fear is that I'm laying in a hospital bed fully aware what's going on and I'm unable to communicate. That's 08:14 anyway. Hey, hey, hey, that's hiding in your chest. Welcome to the fun. Let's show. Let's do podcast. Let's do funny stuff or funny speaking of funny stuff and speaking of retrials and things speaking of stuff that went wrong. um So Tim revealed to me this week that he was going through some footage from high school. 08:39 and he found one. We were just kind of talking about oh high school, know, just like assignments that we used to do. I personally in high school. I did a presentation on the temple of Artemis. Yeah, I did a presentation on Charlie happens life. I did a presentation love trains big fan of train, so I did a I did a presentation on the railroad and how you know how that was built across the entire West and Tim did a presentation in high here. I set it up for us at so 09:09 I was, you know how sometimes like you're trying to remember something so you scroll back through Facebook, like all the old, this is probably a strictly millennial thing to do, but you just scroll through Facebook photos and tags to be like, okay, where's that one thing that happened that I'm trying to remember? And then I saw this video and I was like, oh, I forgot about this. And I told you a story that I now remember the true story. What actually happened was this was a friend's assignment and she was like, hey, I need somebody to come help me for this assignment. 09:37 and which is why I couldn't remember what class it was for okay, it wasn't for you or it wasn't. wasn't my class okay, and so I just volunteered to assist with this and so we have the video of what happened here. So tell what the assignment was first. The assignment was it. The assignment was for a government class and the assignment was to pick a world event and to create the newscast for like recreate the newscast for the world event and so so 10:05 government class Alex. Just think real quick. What are some newscasts off the top of your head for events that you would choose to do? You know, like and I let's even single it out. Let's let's narrow this down to where you can't get this right because let's narrow it down even further. Maybe it's not as world events. It's in its any time in history. The news didn't have to exist then right. Let's narrow it down to events that change the trajectory of 10:34 presidential terms. So like while you're in office, this happens changes the trajectory. Would you maybe go nine eleven changes the directory of George W Bush? Would you maybe go dropping the atomic bomb changes the trajectory and the legacy of Truman? Would you maybe go Pearl Harbor? You know, would you maybe go the Great Depression, maybe go um and then see what these students at this Lutheran school 11:01 chose as their major event. All right, here we go. This is due to a affair he had with Monica Lewinsky. Here's the footage of his resignation speech. 11:17 My fellow citizens, tonight is my last opportunity to speak to you from the Oval Office as your President. Note, I am profoundly grateful to you for twice giving me- MONICA! Hey Bill! boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, boss, 11:43 This is you as Bill Clinton. 11:47 And then you go. 11:58 and she's in a. This is for sure two thousand and ten, because she's a two thousand and ten homecoming dress. 12:08 and you're doing you're doing okay. Keep playing. We got so much time left on this video up a touch. Hey, why are you here? Why shouldn't I be here? Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? you ladies stop fight right now? Monica need to get out of here. I'll call you later. 12:37 See you tonight! Bye babe! I mean... 12:44 Pause, pause. 12:56 so I'm I'm going to loss for words. This is Hillary behind you. I'm assuming yeah and this is Patrick's dad's office right like this is 13:13 This is just a friend's dad's office and that's actually a friend's dad's coat that I didn't even bring. So the adults involved in this as well. They were like yeah, you can use my office here. You can use my coat. What are you guys doing? Oh school. guys are going to recreate the moment that Bill Clinton got caught with Monica Lewinsky for the newscast for your class. Oh, you have an assignment from school to recreate the moment that Bill Clinton got caught with Monica whiskey. Sure use my office for that. Here's a jacket. It's a school project. 13:45 we got. How is there a whole keep going 13:49 bill. Who is that no one the honor to serve to her. Oh, was that no you don't need to worry about that. It's dumb a friend for your friends usually sit on your table. It wasn't my friend. It was my sister and wait to so your what pause you don't have to keep moving your mouse off the thing. It wasn't my friend. It was my sister. 14:18 Bill Clinton's excuse was she's my sister. Is that historical? No, not at all. That was this is ad lib now. I think I think it's important. It wasn't my friend. It was my sister. It's important to know the difference from the first half of this video to the back half because the first half was scripted and the back half start became ad lib and I think I think my delivery was much better in the ad lib. okay. Sure. Yeah, your Bill Clinton impression really got spot on. Okay, let's watch the last 14:47 oh So your sister sits on the table. No, my aunt. Prepare our nation for the 21st century. Could we, uh, cut? Please? My fellow Americans, I did not have sexual relations with that woman. 15:12 That's how it ends. 15:20 go back to the beginning. We're not done with the video that ex out of this go back to the very beginning, not of your part of the newscast. I don't think there's any reason for these girls to have facial hair in the news. It was the news. Oh yeah, and the news in the time was all dudes. Yeah, she gave herself a soul patch, the Christmas tree in the background. 15:47 and then the girl in the center is whose assignment it was. guess because she's also playing Hillary right. I don't remember whose assignment it was okay. It might have been all three of them. 16:01 so I'm at a loss for words, so 16:08 so this is a world where Lutheran high school kids yeah again. Alex could have chosen. ah I mean the civil war could have done Lincoln could have done Lincoln's assassination. 16:26 Kutterdine! 16:29 so many options and these kids were like, yeah, a historical event that happened in government officials was when bill Clinton got caught and 16:49 We need to recreate this. 16:55 I cannot believe and this is on the internet and the three of them. What my favorite part about this is the three of them were like who would be our bill and I was like yeah, I'll do it one hundred percent. Y'all can be bill. 17:12 I wasn't even in the class. They were just like we just need someone who would be willing to be bill for this. Also, I think that girl is wanted to wear that dress for that video yeah yeah yeah yeah and then whoever's mom posted that video on Facebook. It was crazy is I don't none of their last names. I'm not going to say last name, but none of the last names are the last name of this mom and I'm like I'm like who posted this because I this was in my tag videos and so I'm like okay. I don't 17:42 maybe it's like a step mom, but I don't think wow had a step mom. I don't ask my aunt my sister. It's not a friend. It was my sister. I can't believe on this podcast we have to show you pretending to be built in high school. 18:04 I don't know how we pivot back into this story. So sorry, that was just a tangent that he showed us this and we were like, all right, let's play that on the pie. was like, you know what? I watched two seconds of it as a no. Let's watch this on the podcast. 18:18 and now I'm now I'm left to process it. I'm sorry that we're doing this live. Okay, so this is another pivotal event that happened. Yeah, this might have been a better one to cover. Okay, would it be so how do we get through? How do we go from twenty people are guilty to fourteen years later? Actually, they're all innocent, but we killed eight of them already. Yeah, we actually need to go back to the beginning of this whole period, like right after the war, because after the war, 18:47 there was a guy by the name of General. Let me get his name General Douglas MacArthur and he here he is yes. Yeah, the coolest guy ever. Okay, you can't you can't say that's not the coolest guy ever. That's a homemade pipe for okay. I just I think that you knowing more about Douglas MacArthur. I don't think you should be like oh no, no yeah he's he this guy's great. Yeah, this guy is great. 19:16 Oh yeah, I'm thinking of somebody else. MacArthur did he didn't he for the Philippines? Oh, I don't know about that. I mean what he doesn't know he's great. He's here, so he's got a cork, cop pipe and a button nose. 19:32 yeah, describe the picture and two eyes made out of coal. No, he's just a you know, forties. This is a colorized picture. I'm sure sure yeah yeah of he's just a general in the forties with us corn cob pipe, which is pretty sick to be asked. It is. This is a great photo. I wish okay. Let's say I got to go soon. You can't spend five minutes on how much you love his very arms. Let's keep it move. Sorry about that. Okay, so he gets tasked with he gets tasked with 19:58 you need to restore Japan. That's it. Yeah, and so he his belief is what we need to do is we need to bring democracy to Japan and so that's what I'm saying. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, so he facilitates a world where okay, he removes all of the people that were part of the Japanese government during the. What are you doing? Are you? I'm trying to find out there's the same person that I'm thinking of. I think you're thinking of a different MacArthur. I think his name is John. think John MacArthur is who you're thinking of general at the same time frame who was less great. 20:27 I think his name was John, uh but he ah he goes to the all the Japanese officials, the generals, politicians, uh top ranking military officials that aren't generals. Yeah, is this is on thinking of yeah, he oversaw the reconstruction of the Philippines. Okay, yeah, which checks out given what he did in Japan, ah and so he goes to the high ranking military officials during the uh 20:56 who were high ranking during World War Two, labels them class a war criminals, arrest them all, and then installs his own democratic government uh and then kind of sets democracy on his course. And his big thing was he really believed that if you allow all of the possibilities of uh ideologies to exist next to each other, the best one will rise to the top and the people would elect the best and 21:23 uh He set up labor unions. He set up all this stuff like really similar to this era of the United States. He was mimicking in Japan. He shut down. was a name doesn't matter. There was the name. There's this corporation uh that was a monopoly. They can only be 21:44 by the Sun, he had a really negative impact on Japan post World War Two. 21:55 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like we really look it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk, we have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode, tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 22:29 They're called the Zybatsu. The Zybatsu was this monopoly that controlled literally everything in the country. they, they, they weren't just like a corporate monopoly. Like we think of monopolies, they were like a cartel, like they killed people who disagreed with them and got in the way of their corporate profits. And so it's kind of like if, Tesla just started killing people, this was the Zybatsu. Don't prophetically put that out there. Oh, sorry. It was kind of like if bleep started killing people. 22:57 just be like if bleep started bleeping people, I do that for the algorithm. Yeah, we kind of save ourselves. So um so you shut down the Zay Batsu took all their like tentacles that were different and yeah broke them up and broke them up into business like trust busted them essentially and trust busters and this works pretty well. If I ever run, that's why we're gonna use my campaign trust busters and it goes pretty hard. Yeah dude, 23:27 it goes pretty hard. I like it was pretty hard. It's just me with a backpack vacuum being like all the darks trillionaires. That's pretty sick actually it's it's base. I was getting sucked into the back. Yeah, yeah, and his true his true form is revealed shrivels back into the small little dude that he is crazy. He looks like you're in high school. Have you seen this most recent video of Zuckerberg? 23:57 doing wrestling. I don't know some UFC fighter. I sure it is so obvious in this fight that the UFC fight is letting him waiting a toddler. Yeah, that's what it looks like. Yeah, he's letting him. It is the funniest thing I've ever seen. It's like they're like it is like there's nothing behind these punches. He's throwing it's literally like this speed and the guy's like taking them like this. He's like it's it is absurd, absurd. I mean, I think this is what I keep saying. 24:27 you know, this is not a crash out. Don't worry. ah I'm saying that everything that I grew up with people being like you can't let the government get too big or they're going to do this kind of stuff. You know, we're going to have these tyrants and all this stuff. It's like dude, you guys love it when the corporations do it though is because like they're straight up doing the Emperor's stuff where Zuckerberg is like I am really good at this and they I mean they're doing the Putin riding a bear photos. Yeah, you know shirtless on a horse on a river. 24:56 Yep, and you're just like, what are you? What are we talking about? Yep, it's crazy crazy times, but because their corporations as good doesn't count. Oh yeah. Oh hey, the government's going to make a surveillance state. We got to watch out for that. No, they're not Facebook did it. It's ring doorbell camera footage that the police can subpoena. Then now your entire neighborhood is covered with accessible cameras. Yeah, oh, but the companies did it, so that's fine. Yeah, because it's corporate. That's crazy. uh 25:26 bolster profits. You know what I gotta say to that? Monica! 25:33 Same kind of surprise. Suckerberg! 25:39 that's why I'm not afraid. I've seen that guy fight. You know what Mark come punch me, but see what happens. You're already punching me by not delivering my Instagram comp. My isram content to the people who follow me, punch me for real. Watch me in real life. I actually, I please I want it. I want you to punch me so bad. I this day. I don't like the turn 26:04 I want you to punch me so bad. I really can't even continue on unless you punch me in the mouth right now. I want you to hit me. I want you me so soft. 26:20 Okay, so meanwhile, do you think when mark, do think when mark Zuckerberg goes to kiss his wife? He's like zucker up so fuck her up. Do you think? Do you think that happens zucker up? He seems like he kisses his kids in the lips. Yeah, he probably does. He probably does. He kissed your kid in the lips. Now I did he's for the world. Archer might be why I'm not a lot of your house anymore. 26:49 it is uncomfortable because like you'll be burping them and then he doesn't know what he's doing with his face and so he'll just turn and just like latch on to your ear and just like blot and you're like out of here. It is so uncomfortable and then like when he's fifteen he does the same. They're gonna be like you used to nibble on my ear. Get over here, get over you're going all right, so 27:19 So Douglas MacArthur's do is repairing this side of the world yeah, but meanwhile his number two this guy by the name of General Charles Willoughby. um He is uh serving alongside of him helping restore democracy right, but he's also tasked with setting up this secret intelligence unit called the G two um and for his role. What he's doing is he's he's setting up a spy network to make sure within Japan within Japan to make sure everything is 27:48 working the way they want it to work yeah, and it's part of that. He says you know the best way to spy on people is to get a dare program. The dare program was an initiative to put police officers in schools. It was never about getting kids off of drugs or her drug prevention. It was just about putting police officers into high school so they could spy on kids and arrest kids early close. uh So he said the best way the best way to spy on people is to get corrupt people to do it so true behind through general mccArthur's back. He goes 28:18 to one of the top class A war criminals that MacArthur prosecuted and makes a deal and says, Hey, I happen to know that you were out here, you know, war crime and, uh and you didn't have very good morals. He said, you took a hundred million dollars in gold from China. He did that. Um, and true. And he said, he said, what do you say? You spy on your own people. And I was like, what's in it for me? He's like, I'll get you out of prison. And he was like, deal. And so he brings one of those, 28:48 war criminals out of prison starts paying him to spy on his own people. Okay, so this guy starts infiltrating Japan ah and then this becomes this network of him slowly but surely releasing different war criminals to become spies in this g two organization. While this is all happening and Douglas MacArthur knows this is happening. He does not know this is he did well. He knows that spies are going. He doesn't know those two is there yeah. He knows G two is there, but he believes they're functioning similar to the CIA like they're above board got their American agents. 29:16 that are spying on the Japanese sure and uh there is a subordinate in the G to a guy by the name of Charles writer who is very opposed to what's happening in this country because what he noticed I heard a theory recently that a lot of modern spies actually don't know that they're spies that the way they do it now is not sending someone in and being like you're going to get this information. They're just getting them a job at this place and then 29:45 asking them questions, getting updates about their job. Huh? That's interesting, and so it's like this person has no idea they're a spy. It's a lot easier. That's what I'm saying. Like I mean, I guess not easier, but it's like easier to make sure that person doesn't get killed and I mean yeah, but they don't blow their cover and that's what I'm saying is like the person's not sitting there being like I'm under cover, you know, yeah, interesting. That is really interesting actually, and I mean if they do careful you give information to you know guys yeah. If they do get picked up by the enemy, the enemy can't be like tell us what you know, because they know nothing. 30:13 Like, I don't know, I'm just an accountant, man. I just I'm just here doing the numbers. OK, so there's this other guy, Charles Ryder, and in forty eight, I'm just doing the numbers in nineteen forty eight. He's watched this democracy experiment play out for a couple of years now. what he's noticed is. MacArthur's ideal is no matter what happens, if we let everybody do their own thing, right, let them all work together. The best is going to rise to the top. 30:40 And what Ryder is seeing is it appears like communism is growing in force uh because what happened is there was a little bit of the economy had this initial spike after the war, but then it kind of leveled out. The labor unions started growing in power uh and there started to be like an economic upheaval. There was one specific event where they called it the decapitation, which is super hard. uh 31:07 they had the Japanese word for it, but it translates to the decapitation where hundreds of thousands people got laid off overnight because the economy dropped. ah And this made the communism party like kind of swell where a lot of people were looking for something after losing their job. And they found communism. And so Ryder is seeing this happen and he thinks that this is a threat to the world. And he thinks that democracy is takes a backseat to beating communism. 31:35 And so if we have to take democracy away from these people to destroy this communism that's uprising, we need to do that interesting. So he writes what a famous letter called the rider letter pops it off to large to Washington. uh MacArthur has no idea that this happens and he basically says this is an issue of national security. MacArthur can't be in charge anymore. He's allowing communism to rise up here. He's trying to pull a coup on MacArthur. Yes, so he write he pops like this letter to Washington and Washington's like. Oh, we didn't know that communism was on the rise in Japan. 32:05 And so they send an official ah to uh Japan to basically uh fire MacArthur and be like, what are you doing? The communism is on the rise here. The communism. The communism is on the rise here. And so they didn't fire him, but they did tell him, hey, this democracy thing that you're doing, letting them kind of do their own stuff, you can't do it anymore. You've got to take back control. You've got to make sure communism doesn't succeed here. 32:35 and what's very interesting. You know, okay, it's interesting how okay, I got a lot of thoughts, but we're not crashing out of this podcast ever again. So we'll do that in the after the fiddle. So yeah, so he goes, hey, democracy is fine as long as it goes the way we want it to go. Yeah, which is 33:02 okay yeah exactly, and so then things sounds pretty hard. We like democracy unless it goes that way. You're like well, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very accurate ah and so almost instantly after this happens, the letter gets sent off uh this official comes and uh leaves the right act to general MacArthur. 33:31 MacArthur's told us to change, change ways. Democracy starts to kind of swell down. Uh, and over the course of the next year, the war criminals that were all arrested were acquitted of their crimes, released from prison. Communist leaders that had risen to power through democracy, democratic means were then taken and imprisoned and the, uh, war criminals were placed in power and became leaders of the government in, uh, 34:00 in this new version of Japan. What year was that again? 49. And so in 49 uh in July of 49, there is a president of let me see, let me see the president of the national railway authority seemed to be sympathizing a little bit with the labor unions. Okay. On July 5th, 1949, he was found scattered around railroad tracks in Tokyo. uh And they said that 34:29 the official ruling brutal way to say that to the official ruling is that he walked out there on his own official uh volition took his own life by standing on the like laying down on the railroad tracks. Okay, but an autopsy revealed that he was probably dead before he even arrived to the railroad tracks yeah and that crime was never solved uh and shortly after that there was derailment that killed a handful of people and then another derailment that killed a handful of people and then this derailment 34:58 that I started this episode talking about right and we what happened immediately is these twenty communists were round up and the way they were found is they were people who were members. would the fire guys say we were sabotaged? Well, it's because the the track was moved and so the track was it wasn't like they were doing something. It wasn't like 35:24 the train was full of people who were like pro democracy or whatever and they were sabotaged like I mean yeah. We don't know much about the people on the it wasn't the train itself wasn't targeted. It was just that like it wasn't like that train was targeted yeah. It was just we were just trying to cause some damage got it yeah and so pretty quickly a handful of people who worked for the railroad were arrested and the story line here was they found some tools and a nearby rice patty 35:53 that could have been used on the job and then at the nearby rail station, there was a shed that had been broken into. But what is interesting is the storyline is they arrested these people because they worked for the railroad um and the so why did they have to break in to the tools? Also, the tools that were found in the rice paddy were not the right tools to do the job. They were just tools. You need larger like just a hammer and a screwdriver. 36:19 there's a stapler in the rice paddy. So we think that's what they used to do. Oh yeah, Tim, most common tools, hammer screwdriver stapler. I'm trying to think of like, what's the big man over here works a lot with tools. What is the least likely tool to sabotage a railroad? Dixon tie condor, roga number two pencil office supplies. 36:46 No, no, no, no, no, 37:15 the difference between a hammer and a hammer head. So they found a handful of people who just happened the way you just talk sounds like we made an audio cut. We did not the way you talk sounds like we made a hard cut and then you just went back in. I want you to know this is the same mom Tim's just embarrassed that he said stapler instead of staple gun and now he's trying to get out ever bad so staple nail gun. So they they arrest these twenty 37:42 these these communists that work for the railroad that are connected to the labor union connected to the labor union. They arrest these twenty people yeah. What's interesting is they don't they don't arrest twenty. They arrest a handful of people who were connected were connected to the labor union with ties to the communist party. So do you think the rising communist party they did? This is really interesting. Then they find a kid who happened to be in the area, a teenager who happened to be in the area and the police told him hey, the communist told us you did this and so you should 38:12 get back at them. The commies told us you did this. Yeah. And so they said, but you should get back at them by telling us the rest of the people who were involved. And so this kid just gave them some names and under coercion confessed to being a part of it uh because he was a child. And so they arrest this teenager and a bunch of these other communists that they connected to it and uh 38:40 obviously we know what happens next. They go into trial. The communist told us you did it yeah goes pretty hard. I don't know you just stuff that you've been saying. So the commies said you did this. I have no idea. I like I like give us a name. I like I don't know anyone give us a name one name. I don't know anyone give us one name Monica. The build up was a bit 39:10 I like I like more that they were like you should get back at them. You should get back. Yeah, you know what really put them in their place is if you put them to prison. I love tell us about them. You convicted. Do you know any commies? Yeah, does all the commies you know. Oh uh Lenin, I guess I that's only what I can think of uh yeah, so they go on trial Lenin who's going to be there twenty years from now. 39:44 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your Lord and Savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 40:13 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 40:41 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 41:05 Did you hear it? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 41:19 and then you're to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 41:29 I don't want to be. I hate skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah. YouTube premium leave all this in that. 41:43 so they uh yeah, no try to move on. It's okay linen so from the sixties, so they go the future yeah. He was alive. He might have known him. He might have known young Lenin. I don't know them. It's like it's like it's like young Sheldon like like what was he like back then? Have you ever watched this and thought the fact that young Sheldon got 42:09 like eleven seasons. How many that's great. It really is like eleven seasons. Here's I think it got more than Big Bang Theory. 42:18 here's which is crazy. I was I was in I was at a gig and the guy was driving me to the thing and he tells me that his daughter has a YouTube channel ah 42:30 Okay, his daughter runs a YouTube channel. Yeah, that is like a young Sheldon's fans YouTube channel, and he said that and I was and he wasn't joking. Oh my gosh, but she got like two million views on these videos that are just compilations of young Sheldon episodes. They're not even like 42:52 commentary. It's just compiling. No, no, no, she's yeah. She doesn't have a set up in her room where she's like setting up and being talking about it like hey guys. This week's episode was this. No, she's just doing compilations. That's great. So young Sheldon fans exist. That is crazy. Okay, maybe you're listening to this and you're like wait. I'm a young Sheldon fan. No, you're not 43:17 No, you're not. You should have. You're a communist. Don't you want to get we're going to find them? Oh, I want get back at the commies. Anybody who watches young Sheldon communist 43:33 ha ha ha. I turned you into the police bazanga, so they put them on trial and the trial. There was no real evidence pretty much a media. There's a spin off show of young Sheldon. Yes, what's that? I think ah so it's a spin off of the spin off at this point. That's crazy. Let's see young Sheldon spin off. Yes, because it's 44:01 George and Mandy, which is oh that's from that yeah. Their characters in I always want to call that Billy and Mandy very different Emily. Emily Osmond is yeah, say yeah and it's always it his parents. 44:16 are. Is that who that is? I don't know. I know it's called. It's like georgia georgia and mandy's first marriage is what's called. Isn't it george and mandy's first marriage? Yeah, because they they run those ads all the time. Do you know the characters? No, I don't know anything about it. I didn't know it was a spin off of it's got renewed for a second season. Yeah, I know and this is what I'm saying dude. I have so many more creative ideas that we could turn into shows and you guys are like what if we did george and mandy's first mayor 44:46 I mean, it is like it is one of the problems with the society we live in because at the end of the day, like what matters is not like we're creating something that's actually going to 20 people got a right. 45:06 I hate you so much. You're trying to get into your social commentary. No, go ahead, finish it. Go ahead. Oh, what I'm saying, all I'm saying is like it's not about like, can we create something that's actually good? It's it's can we create something that's going to generate revenue and big bang was a smash smash hit and so even if you get a fraction of the people who are fans of that to be a fans of young Sheldon, you've got to show that is profitable, but that's what I was same thing with this is like you can kind of 45:30 extrapolate that down and just squeeze that lemon for all, but that's what I'm saying too is that's I was saying about traders is like you know. I watched the season one and it's half people who are new to reality tv and then half people who are like on the bachelor and big brother and survivor like you know reality tv celebrities, but season two and three was just celebrities. You know and they use the word celebrities pretty freely, but like being I'm saying like where it's like oh so 45:55 and even like this season of amazing race was just people who have been on Big Brother or sire before yeah and it's stuff like that where it's like the entry level to these things is gone because no one watches the entry level anymore. So now you're just recycling the audience over and over and being like well, you like them. You're like I'm over here. You want to watch this show because you like them because they're you like them yeah and that's it's one those things where there's no way nobody is planning for five years from now anymore. They're literally just trying to ride this out yep 46:25 and survive and no one apart from HBO or Netflix is doing new ideas right now, and I think it's because because no business. I mean, I guess Hollywood's a little different right now. Hollywood is a different game because they're not. They're not operating like this, but when you look at the rest of the business world, like everyone's just playing for an exit, they're not playing for like a long 46:45 Yeah, I mean every CEO is just trying to ramp up the stock price to get their exit. Yeah, they know they're no one ever happens after no one's trying to have a business that is successful thirty years from now. They're trying to have a stock that's successful next quarter, yeah, and that's not a sustainable way to run stuff. Yeah, and like you know, I mean we know that from when we try to pivot to YouTube heavy, that's not sustainable like yeah, you know, it's just not 47:11 what is sustainable is the growth that we've done and supporting us on patreon. So if you support us on patreon you get next week's episode for free, you know, not for free, but you get next week's episode ad free yeah and you to join the discord where we hang out. So that's sustainable growth. Yeah, I'm excited to announce our next podcast, Jernan Tim's first. It's a spin off. We're actually going to do a spin off show where Alex uh 47:39 gives all the behind the scenes details, but he does it from that desk over there. So you get the camera footage and we and we cut his three cameras that just cut empty seats as Alex over there going talking about stuff. Yeah. So this is what happens and they do this sometimes and they all complain about their wives kind of it and I don't we don't complain about our talking about so 48:06 night. We did come in today. Apparently my wife posted on her close friend story last night and excluded me from it. Okay, I literally I literally I know Reagan. You're listening to this while you're quality control with Jared. I have to come right back. I watched that close story and I was like I need to make sure I don't tell and then I saw that I said dude. Did I send you the picture of this light that our landlord put in and you were like yeah, I saw that story and I was like oh, did I 48:31 did I miss that and she posted on our go to your account and I literally was like oh no oh no oh no stupid oh you dumb so next time you need jaren to not see something take me off your close friends too because I can't be trusted to not see 48:49 So the drama is this. We put up string lights at our apartment that looked really nice and then I'll send this picture to Robert. The landlord was like oh man, you guys can't have string lights didn't tell us why we're trying to figure out if that's okay, but we'll figure out a different solution. I said no, no, no, I don't need you to figure out a solution like we just liked how they looked. We can take them down and they came and put this industrial like flood light out there, which is not the same as having 49:17 Yeah, you know, ambient string lights in your backyard. Yeah, it's like having a flood light in your yard, which is not fun to hang out in. Yeah, and so we were like, I literally called my landlord. It's it was seven thirty last night and I said hey, sun went down. This lights on you got to come tomorrow and take this down. This is not staying up or I'm going to smash it. Yeah, because it's it is like yeah. 49:40 we don't have to spend any time on this. We don't spend time on this because we're going to crash out about how landlords don't give a crap about where you live and that's really it really. was going to say I was like I was like they tried but they don't they didn't think about it. I literally said to him on the phone. I said he wouldn't do this in your backyard. Yeah, I the same way you wouldn't have put that microwave you put like we had a microwave that broke. They came in like it was a four hundred dollar microwave. They came and gave us a fifty dollar microwave that was a third of the size and put it in the same little square. So now there's all this dead space around this tiny little microwave and I sent a picture. I said 50:10 if this was your kitchen, you would not do that to your own kitchen. Yeah, you wouldn't do that to where you live. I mean, but I think realistically what probably happened is he told the maintenance guy, he said, he said, hey, get a light that's bright enough to light that whole space. Don't spend more than a hundred bucks on it and I'm sure that's what happened and I'm calling and going. I didn't ask you to do that. I asked, hey, how do we make the string lights possible? Yeah, trying to work. I would rather have no lights than whatever this is, which, which to be fair, he's trying to think, okay, they want to hang out out there. They need some light. I'm going to try to solve that problem for them, but like 50:40 it. No, it's not. I think it's not trying to think that I think it's a disconnect of like it's like it's like they need a light out there. Don't you dare take? You know what I'm not. Don't you dare take the landlord side on this putting myself in somebody else's shoes. That's what okay, but that's why Reagan was mad at me because Reagan calls me. She wants to be mad and I go okay. Listen, I understand that we're mad about this, but I'm going to I'm going to call landlord. I'm going to get him and take this light down, but I need you to go take those string lights down yeah, because I can't send him a picture of this light with the string light still up still up yeah. 51:08 you know and she was like I'm not going to take him down. I need you to do that. I need to take the lights down so that I can send the picture of this light so I can let him know that this is bad and this needs to come down tomorrow. Like this is not. I'm not going to live with this light for a month and be like oh whenever you get around to it, I'm going tell you if this isn't down by tomorrow. I am smashing this light. I would have taped over it immediately. I would have gone out there with duct tape and just taped over it. That's what I'm going to do. I don't like. No, we're not having this light is not going to be on. Yeah, this is it is absurdly bright anyway. 51:38 So anyways, so if you support us on Patreon, maybe I can own a home. 51:44 You ever think about that? You're a thing about that you selfish jerks. You're thinking if you just shared this episode, if everyone who listens to this shared this episode with one person, we could actually have good ads again. How about that? How about that? Did you ever think about while you're sitting in your thing about why you're there? You're just like sitting there watching us on YouTube or listening that you're just like, man, if I just listened on two devices, man, they can really you ever, have you ever thought about where you're sitting there eating, eating food in your rental home? Well, you're like, man, if I gave $20 a month, Jerry could own his home. 52:13 and then I could put a floodlight in my backyard. I could do it to my want to be able to do it to be able to sell back there. I could ruin my own life instead of someone else doing it. Someone else. I want to say that's what I'm mad about my life. So anyway, Reagan, just know that if you post in your close friends, you don't include me. I'll find out shouldn't have put me on there. I think I so 52:41 I genuinely I want can't hide nothing. I watched it. I watched it and I almost I almost screenshot of it and said to Jerry and I was like no, that's not cool. I was like I'm not going to tell Jaren I'm going to protect this and then Jaren brought it up and I was like oh yeah. I saw that on the story. I was like oh freak betrayed my wife's trust so quickly. So now we've learned two things 53:03 one. My wife's trying to hide things and to my best friend is not trustworthy. So imagine how I feel, but honestly one honestly shut up. Honestly, I stop talking of anything. Be quiet. I you should my life is being ruined. My life is being ruined by my wife who hides things from me, my best friend who can't keep secrets and my landlord who wants to brighten up my driveway. 53:27 supporters on patreon so that I can reclaim my life and my dignity. We got to get out of here for real though. Okay, so let me wrap this up so so these twenty commi 53:40 these twenty communists get arrested yeah and the trial was a mess like pretty much immediately in the trial. It's pretty obvious that they have no idea yeah. The prosecution is trying to be like it's these guys and this lags on for years and years. Are you saying that the war criminals that are now in charge did this is a red flag. They did the rail derailment, so what's what's tough to know what we do know here's what we do know is 54:08 the prox in was with that rail. Yeah, yes, for sure, for sure. It was definitely tampered with. Yes, that could not happen naturally, but the prosecution was trying to say it was these twenty people that acted together. It was this big conspiracy, but the evidence that they brought forward was not good. The tools that they were showing were not the tools you needed for the job. Stay for the storyline didn't didn't add up. And what's even more interesting is they as the story progressed and more evidence arose, they went back to 54:37 the people that they convicted and they had them revise their confessions. They said, hey, here's what we know now. Like, what do you want to say about that? And so they had them like change their stories halfway through. so even within what is now a corrupt legal system, the system was like, this still doesn't add up. this still, and so they held them, they put them on trial, they convicted them. 55:04 but it just kept getting brought back up in court for fourteen years. Almost every single year this was retrial after retrial and eventually they got acquitted, acquitted. The people who actually did this were never caught. What's interesting is it does the difference in corruption that we have now and just like you know, to tell it totalitarian regimes. Yeah, is that the corruption we have now is still kind of gummed down by 55:33 we've got to make this palatable yes through the current judicial system. Yes, you know, so it's it has to somewhat make sense. Yes, it can't just be. We want to kill this guy. Yeah, you know what's really interesting is they painted this whole story line that the communist did this and then that other murder and then all the other train derailments and it was these terror plots that the communists were doing right and the growing communist movie a movement died down because everyone was like other terrorists. 56:02 They're killing people. I can't be involved with them. And the liberal Democratic Democratic Party rose to power. And uh technically speaking, like the system you see in Japan today is a democratic system. And it's and it's a uh thriving economy. That's a place where it's safe to live. But for the 70 years that the Japan has been this sort of democracy since this happened, 56:31 66 of them, the LDP was in power. And so it's pretty clear that uh this set in motion a system that solidified this party as being the people who got to be in power. And what we do know is that after this, there is record through nation after nation after nation where communism began to rise, the CIA meddled and removed people from power and 57:00 killed people and did similar sorts of terror plots. Do you the CIA derail the train? It seems likely, it seems likely that this was the first thing we don't have the evidence. We don't know for sure, but it seems likely they had this G two system. They were letting, we do know that they were letting all the war criminals out. And so whether they were the ones who actually went and did the work or they planned it and had somebody else go to the work, it seems likely that they did this because after this happened and after communism died down in Japan, 57:27 they said, oh, this is a good way to stop communism and it happened over and over and over again with the CIA would back things like this and actively take part in things like this. And we also know that they for decades were giving millions of dollars a year towards the LDP to make sure that the LDP was successful straight from the CIA's bank account. uh So not even laundering it. No, they were just like, yeah, we like you. Here's millions of dollars be successful. Well, the other side of that too is that there's this 57:56 a lot of America's power in the world is through our soft power. Yes, where we are because I mean it may be the logic from government leadership is the devil. You know is better than the one you don't right and so uh you know a lot of the people that we support or money that we give 58:18 people like well, why are we giving money? We need to be taking care of the homeless vets here before we give money anywhere else and it's like yeah, but the the investments that we make in this country like specifically like India, for example, is the investments that we've made over these past thirty forty years in India has returned dividends on they send their best and brightest to our universities and then those those people end up building and leading and running companies here that prop up our economy. So those are that's money that we got back. 58:46 yeah, and so it's the same kind of stuff where it's like yeah. Of course that looks sketchy on paper for them to be like we give money to this government, but it's also like that's an investment that we're making in an ally hundred percent, hundred, you know yeah and so those are things that you could draw that and be like well they're giving money to that party, which means that they want that party to succeed. Well, they're giving money to the people who are in charge because they want a good working relationship with those people in charge and they don't have a relationship with the opposition party yeah and so it's like 59:13 I do you know that's that's a good that's for them to kind of figure out and sort out of their own, but for now you know we can get we're not giving you this money to solely be that opposition yeah, but you know they don't want to work with us and you do yeah that's better for us. So I mean there's a lot of stuff where it's not a black and white of the US gives money. That means they fully support this thing hundred percent. You know, I might not be aware of everything of course. 59:40 and like twenty years later, then it blows up in their face and it obviously we all go like oh wow, like that's what I keep saying about like you know presidents in the past. We've made decisions that fifty years later made these these situations that were like oh my gosh wait, we're screwed yeah yeah. It's not like I don't think there was like this shadow puppet master who was like yeah, I'm going to destroy the economy fifty years from now. I think they were doing what was what was 01:00:06 you know everybody's doing the best they can with what they have. That's what I'm saying. It also could be that the CIA is like yeah. We kind of want to have control over this. I do think I do think, especially you're coming out of World War Two, where we know what World War Two was, yeah, Japan by itself killed thirty million people right, and so they're viewing this as this is a dangerous place. Yes, we need to have control over it. I mean this we can't control. This is kind of like if if North Korea fell 01:00:30 like if we were, if we were, if North Korea's regime falls and we were able to then take control of North Korea, yeah, I think thirty years from now we would do whatever it took to not to make sure back to what it didn't go back to that yeah, and that's what I've said before too, is that I think you know let's play through when you hear people talk about like socialism and communism, which first of all a lot of people in the states are like those are the same. They're not and if you say that you come on, I just think it through, but I'm saying that like 01:01:00 we do have a large group of people who came from countries where yeah they it was a socialist economy. The thing fell apart. They moved here or they fled to a different country and then when that country starts to say hey we want to do these. These are socialist ideas then they go. Oh, you don't want to be part of that. You don't want that at all. No, we would never it be the same thing is like the stage of capitalism that we're at continuing unregulated with these AI companies and stuff could 01:01:24 completely cripple and destroy our economy a couple of decades from now right. It's destroying my stock market portfolio right now, but I'm saying like I'm saying that twenty years from now, let's say I'm not saying this is going to happen, but I'm saying like let's say the capitalism game goes defunct lapses yeah right yeah. Let's say it did yeah and twenty years from now we flee somewhere else and uh then when we're eighty years old, the country that we end up in the young kids start to be like man. We should really 01:01:51 adopt some more capitalistic ideas. Of course we would go. I've been reading. I've been reading Zuckerberg's manifesto saying like we would then in a black and white thinking say no zero part of that. We saw how that ends. That's but you know, I mean that that's a problem. If you think black and white about anything, that's that's what I'm trying to say. You have to be able to think with a little bit of new right. There's there's more. There's complexity to how the world works together and how these countries work together and how economies work and so 01:02:21 you know, I think that there's I'm not trying to you know, I'm not trying to simp for the CIA yeah, you know, but I'm just trying to say a lot of the things there are sketchy stuff. The CIA is done verifiably. We know all the weird stuff of course right, but there's also other things that they do that may appear sketchy, but it might not know sketchy. Yeah, but well, what I can say for sure is here's the guy who wrote the letter. This is a writer and he is sketchy, so he does look like a villain. He's like a scar on his cheek. 01:02:50 he looks I think scowling. I think that's a shut and close case. This guy did it. uh I mean just look at him ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I would like to prevent present evidence number one. Look at him. at just take a gander. Open your eyes and look at this man who is clearly a villain. 01:03:15 anyways, ladies and gentlemen, the jury fiddle off hi thanks for watching this episode of things that learned last night. Please make sure to share it with somebody so that we may grow a grow our listenership. I love that this is how our friendship is. leading and he's desperately trying to hang on just trying to waltz along, but hey, if you like, I told you to say if you like this episode 01:03:42 If you like this episode, check out this episode mk ultra. It's another cia thing that they did that was sketchy. It was weird. That was verifiable sketch. That was not even like there was no soft power involved. There was no it was that was why firmly sketchy, but if you like this episode, you want to see more of it. You can watch next week's episode right now over on patreon shout out to our patron supporters. We love you wow really drop that in there didn't you drop the album 01:04:12 and even said it to his son yet. I have it. He can't understand. He doesn't know. See you next week.


In the early morning hours of August 17, 1949, a passenger train derailed near the town of Matsukawa in northern Japan. At first, the crash appeared to be a tragic accident, but investigators quickly discovered clear signs of sabotage. Bolts had been removed from the tracks, and the rails had been deliberately bent, making derailment unavoidable. That single event became … Read More

Cyberbullying Gone WAY too Far | Unknown Number

12-09-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, happy to be here. Have you ever heard a day? What a day? Yeah, it's Friday for us for us for you. Have you ever heard of unknown number? 00:13 Okay. Big fan of this. 00:19 and I'm eating a couple of chili dogs. So my chili dogs, while my dogs are out, while my dogs are out on the floor watching the dogs, and I'm throwing back a couple of dog fish beers. So I'm sipping on some dogs while I'm eating some dogs while my dogs are out, while my dogs are on the floor watching those dogs. And one of those dogs said, I got a test. Things I learned last night. 00:49 hate whenever first of all unknown numbers. Is there a way to filter out like I hate them? The phone will be like potentially spam, but I'm still going to bother you with it. Yeah, I'm still going to send it to you. I'm sitting here going like if it's potential is just block it. Is that a telling? Yeah, it should be. I don't know if it is. I know that you can do. You can screen all unknown numbers, which I don't want to do because sometimes people call me that you from like gigs or whatever. 01:16 that I need to answer or like I hate when I have that turned on and then I am trying to deal with flights. Yeah, and then I and then I missed the call back. Yeah, because it screened the unknown number. Yeah, I don't want to but for you to put potential spam just filter that, but I think I think the idea is like well, what if I why are you yelling into the microphone? But I think the problem is what if we're wrong and so it's like I mean this and it goes to voice automated system. I mean I yeah. Okay, so you're saying send it 01:46 straight to voicemail. Don't I'm not saying block. I'm saying well, that's what happens when you block a number. I think you can just decline it and it just disconnects if you just decline it right or no. I just go to audit when you decline. You think do you think that when you hit decline it disconnects? I guess that what you thought has happened this whole time. Yes, I guess so. Yeah, no. Oh, so just goes to it goes to voicemail. Bummer. That's a bummer and then the recording goes beep. Hi, this is 02:16 boop boop boop like they record and starts and then it's like I love when I get a real person by the way. Hey, is this spam? Is this Jarrett or is this? They don't even call for me. They never call for me. Someone using someone is using my phone number. I think it's my uncle and my cousin. Sometimes people will call me for my cousin. They're trying to collect money from her yikes and I go. I'll tell you exactly where she lives. 02:44 I'm trying to collect money from her to they go. They go is this then and I go I go if you ever call me again, I will hunt you down. So it's not a spammer. It's like an actual collections agency. No, the spam ones spam ones. It goes. It goes. Hi, this is yeah, but there are yeah, yeah. And then so they're just trying to figure out if you have real phone number. Yeah, that's all they're doing right. They're just trying to get you on on their list. 03:13 Yes, verify which I do not want to be and that's what I'm saying. So anyway, unknown numbers. I don't like them. That's fair did o unknown numbers, spooky like like I really think of an unknown number right now fifteen thousand four hundred seventy one. Whoa, so scary. I don't like where that came from. I didn't. I didn't plan that. You know I'm that was think of one right now. It has a seven in it. Yeah, 03:44 Have you seen this guy that's doing his little book tour right now who can guess people's pin numbers and stuff? Yes, because he did spooky. Didn't he do Rogan? Yeah, yeah, guest Rogan's debit card number yeah and on the thing and he's like why and you can see Rogan with his little you know smelling salts filtered brain. He's sitting there being like oh oh ah he's literally going through like. Did I accidentally say that on the podcast? I that before yeah so ridiculous. He looks so oh 04:15 you trying to do that? Suddenly it's trying to reach her and suddenly turn the lights on. You didn't want to be like, Hey, hold on. Let's pause this thing and turn those lights on. I forgot to turn them on. Yeah, I just figured I could do that without anybody noticing. Not anybody, not anybody noticing the two people in the room. It was worth a shot. Anyways, I our, our, our new intern Blair, I didn't know your name before now. 04:43 Her name is the Blair which project. 04:48 weird last name though. I mean if your last name is project yeah, my project. Okay, so no number yeah here. Here's what I should say. I know the story. It's wild. Let's get into it. Let's see how well I know the story. I bet I know it better. I did actually watch it again last night, so we'll see which I guess is a good. There is a documentary on Netflix called the unknown number that we're about to cover and 05:16 I do think if you haven't seen it, it's probably better to go watch it because I go watch the documentary. We're to spoil. Don't don't know anything. It's one of those documentaries. The same thing with what was that other one? The love stock kill love stalker killer lover, lover, stalker killer. Go watch that one blind because this is this documentary is the same kind of way where forty five minutes in it just takes a turn that you're like wait. 05:44 what it's a little dull. Honestly, up until that point, watching it again now that I've I've watched it twice now. Yeah, and I think they did it on purpose. Yeah, the more I watch those things. I go. Oh, you hit me right at like because it literally happens at the thirty eight minute mark. Yeah, both those documentaries where and they even lover lover, soccer killer to where it's like. Oh, this is you guys did this on purpose where you lulled me into this like. Okay, I think we get it like all right. He's being stalked by someone 06:13 Yeah. And then you were like, but also how is this possible? And you're like, how is that? Have you watched it? What about you Blair? 06:27 Yeah. 06:29 No, you're thinking of a different whatever it's nice. Actually, you can go. I haven't blare here because she doesn't sit down. We don't have any other chairs. She just levitates over there and the other he's like this. Yeah, she walked into the interview and she did that walk in the end. No, she walked. She hovered into the normally and then she walked in and then she sat like that, just levitating. Okay, and we were like 06:58 I think we should hire you. I don't think we can turn. was thinking she was sitting on the desk. Now she's just levitating. Okay, so anyway, I like how I have like kind of grounded bits and then Tim is like what if she's like a what she's levitating. You know what her feet are. I was trying to make the bit like we're really mean to whoever this girl is. 07:25 and Tim's like we're really mean to her because she's possessed by spirits that make her flow like dog. All right. Oh okay, so oh let's take a look at our cast. So let's yeah. Let's let's see who we're talking about here. So if you go watch the documentary before you listen to us, tell it if you've not seen it or if you don't want to do that, you want to hear us tell it 07:51 Are we going to bury it the same way that the documentary does? Yeah, we will. All right, let's do it, but I will say to uh the documentary we're we're a family friendly podcast. There's some subject matter in the documentary that's not family friendly. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we're not going to the text messages are pretty. They read all the text message. We're not going to read them. We'll just tell you about them. We'll give you the gist. Yeah, yeah, and yeah, the the text messages are pretty explicit. Very vulgar. All right, 08:20 uh Let's take a look at our cast of characters. We have our voices get louder. Am I crazy? Did you change someone the audio? No, I'm just insane. I think I I pop my ears. Yeah, you're spiraling a little bit. Would you grab me a water, please? 08:34 before before he started shooting. This is like I don't have a water and he says he says he says always fine to him because I know it is I really don't have a lot. I know his brain. don't have a lot of time. Oh, I just make him do it for me in the episode. Can you please look at the water? You're about this. You're going to do it. The super frustrating thing about this is that you're going to do a freaking do it thanks to him. So that was Blair 09:00 Oh she makes sound effects now so the team and make sound effect. She's not just loading. She's she sounds like there's a propeller yeah, but so making so much right. I'm Vince us that she is possessed by demons, but really I mean in her shirt it's tight because she's got a full box fan back there. She's sick and she's just 09:24 and we're like hey, I can see the water. I can see the cord. She goes. Oh, she's a really long extension cable that she's just unraveling every. I was trying to plug my power bank in earlier. She was like I'm using this one. This one. Okay, so let's let's look at our cast. Yeah, so the story takes place in twenty twenty in a town of what's this town called Bay Beale City, Beale City, Michigan. 09:52 Okay, and Bill Smith city is a small town, small town, small, students grow this high school. You know, let's see. find the population of Beale City first, the old city. Michigan is oh my gosh, this is smaller than I thought three hundred and twelve right. So this is this is legitimately a town. mean the town is smaller than my high school, so this is a place that everyone knew everybody. Yeah, you know 10:19 the end and that school. It's important is the school is grade uh one to twelve right and they have four hundred students right, so this is and this is one of those communities to where because you know I grew up in Mount for in a several Springfield and uh but Willard, for example, is a school that pulls from parts of Springfield, but most of Willard students are from a fifteen mile radius into the middle of nowhere. All the farm cats go to this place, so 10:49 So Beale City, it's not like everyone in this town is at the school. It's everyone in this town plus like a twenty mile radius of kids who just live out on farms and do all that stuff. So yeah, so it's small, very small community, very, very small. Yeah, and that's small enough. They don't. I don't think they They have a they have a football team, I guess. I mean like yeah, I mean they talk about the time on sports. They talk about stars. They basketball for sure. But age of football, they do show some football footage. So 11:19 um But they do say in the documentary that there's one stoplight and two bars and that's it. Yeah. So we got one stoplight and two drinking bars. Come on down to Beale City where the girls are pretty and we're all. 11:44 I don't know. was trying to go. Honestly, that was really good. Like I feel like I could, I'm gonna, I'm gonna retire in Branson, sell that to them. The clay cooper express. So this week's sponsor is the clay cooper country. The clay cooper country express. Tell your grandma tell you the call to action. Is it like it's going to the website? No, she'll figure it out. She'll figure it out. 12:14 she'll call the number she'll mail in the rebate. She'll do all that you just tell her about it. So all right, so pictures of people. So this is Owen. Oh, yeah, is one of our main characters here. Owen, hold on. Let get his last name. So he doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. Oh, and your first names. Okay, I'm a get Owen, Lauren, Lauren, Lauren, Tim, stop. We don't have time. 12:43 these are main characters we'll look at for now. So Owen and Lauren are now they're still in high school, right? They're yeah, they're like elder high schools, elder high schools. Are they seniors? I think, well, I think now they've probably graduated because the story happened eighth grade year, freshman year. It started, it starts freshman year freshman year. So Owen and Lauren, they were dating. See, this is a football couple. Yeah, there is a football team. Yeah. 13:11 and I love they do the small town thing where it's just the Cowboys logo. You know I love when small towns just straight up take NFL logos like so many. you got a school near you, that's the Patriots. It's the Patriots logo. Yeah, that's very accurate. So yeah, a low. You think the NFL is like chill with that? They're like they're like actually it's brand like we're fine with that. 13:39 I don't know. Actually, I would assume I would assume no, they'd be like Disney and be like we're going to see you and get our bag, but I mean, but I mean it happens, also in the cowboys trademark a star. Yeah, the cowboys is a little tough, but I mean for the Patriots, the pay, I mean that's pretty hard. You see schools that are Patriots. It's straight up that logo. It's the same yeah, and you do see that you see the same thing with college teams to all the time. Yeah, yeah, interesting because why be original 14:09 you know sure. Do you think that in the age of AI we're going to start seeing that go away where it's not we're just ripping NFL team logos. It's just we're just making one up on it'll look glossy and yeah probably so Owen and Lauren yeah they start dating and this is the kind of podcast we are now we're a high school gossip, high school gossip. So they start going out you know yeah and and they're a cute couple thirteen years old and they are like 14:36 kind of the it couple thirteen man. I think my brother and his wife started dating when they were fourteen. I'm not joking. You were really yeah. You thought I was making a joke. I'm pretty sure they started dating when he was fourteen. I didn't know that yeah. They've been together. They've been together longer than Ray and I wow. Isn't that crazy? That is kind of wild. Why interesting? um Why so they started dating when they were thirteen and they were kind of like the couple. I that wrong. Caden at 15:04 don't text me about it. Don't be like by the way I was actually actually I was seven. Yeah, your life doesn't matter to me. 15:15 Your only accessory to my life. 15:19 I know he listens to this or watches. I don't know. Yeah, who knows? uh So I called him the other night. We had a 20 minute conversation. This kid, this kid is in the Air Force. He's married. He's like doing a full adult life. The only thing I wanted to call him about, I called him not to be like, man, how's marriage going? How tough is it now that you've transitioned out of out of boot camp and now you're in a position where you're working hard every day, waking up and 15:46 I'm really proud of you didn't say any of that. I said hey man, do you know how to get to the gemstone crab in runescape? I said I know about this thing, but I'm just trying to train my attack and strength. We talked for twenty minutes about the gemstone crap, so what are you talking to your brother about yeah? Actually the last cover you that we're last conversation I had with my brother last conversation I had was I'm moving out, but he 16:16 hey, I'll always be here for you man. If you ever need it. I was the last time we talked. That was well years ago. No, I asked him. I asked him if he played this new game, our craters. That's the last conversation we had that crazy. Same thing we talk about anyway. So Oh and Lauren, they're dating their freshmen, whatever couple and it's important to emphasize they are the couple like everybody at school like is like, I don't 16:40 I don't know. It's like when you see the yeah, when the two popular kids are dating, that's that's what it is and also they are thirteen years old. They are thirteen years. So for context, they are one three thirteen one three and so one of the girls at the school, her name is Chloe. She throws a Halloween party and Lauren's not invited to this Halloween party and there's some speculation on why, but Owen is invited and no one says well, if you're invited or if I'm invited, you're in 17:10 so like you're going to come with me ah and so she come they go man move for a thirteen year old by the way for a thirteen year old to go. Hey, you and I, one in the flesh. So if I'm invited, you're invited. That's how I protect my girl. Honestly, pretty freaking tough. That is tough. That is tough. She's like no, I don't know if I'm invited. Hey, hey, if I'm invited anywhere, I go you go 17:40 that starts to sound a little, starts to sound a little like that. It sounds different. If I go, if I, I'm not taking my eyes off you, see how it starts to how quickly it turns from chivalry to crime. You know, it's all just tone. It's all just tone of voice. No, you're going at 13. Hey Lauren, I got invited to this party and I really want you to go with me. Well, I don't know. I don't, I wasn't invited. No, I, if I'm invited, you're invited. 18:09 I don't know when you're going. uh 18:17 okay, so so they go to the go to the Halloween party, go to the party and at the party they get Chloe shoots her. Here's where the mystery start in by her to this. Why I small town small town stuff and so any here's it. Here's what's interesting. A little bit of backstory and Chloe Chloe for years has been 18:47 accused of being like a school, but bully ah okay. She's not a school bully like a lot of the kids of the school like say she is and she's but she's not doing these things, but at the same time like it's small town and so it's like small school, small town stuff like it really does become one those things where ah it's not like because the way that's framed is it makes it sound like this Chloe girl invited everyone, but Lauren yeah, that's a bully. 19:17 right, but if I just like that's how small town stuff happens is like if I invite my friends to my birthday party and you're just not one of my friends, then you and your brain can go. He's bullying me by not inviting me and it's like no, we're just not friends yeah and in small town culture. It's one of those things where it's like what we all know each other. So we are all friends and it's like that's not yeah, that's like you know, so that's how those things can 19:45 Hey, thanks for watching our show. you like it, a great way to help out is by being a Patreon supporter. Doing that helps make this show possible, but it also gets a lot of perks for you. You can get every episode a week early ad free. You get access to a Discord where you can meet a lot of other people who love the show and actually hang out with Jaren and I every month on a hangout. And we're also in that Discord chat all the time, hanging, talking with people, talking about episodes and just random stuff in life. It's super fun. 20:08 We do, there's a way to get birthday messages, a free gift, merch discounts in there. So there's a lot of really great reasons to be a Patreon supporter. You get a lot of benefits out of it. And it also makes the show keep happening. So if that sounds great to you, you can go to support.tillin.com or tillin.com slash support, uh or just tillin.com and search around until you find the links and become a Patreon supporter. really appreciate you doing that. But if not, right back to the episode, right? 20:36 There's also the thing where it's socially awkward. Sometimes you've been around somebody who makes a joke that you don't like, but everyone else laughs and so you kind of go, huh? Yeah, you know, yeah, and it just to kind of appease or whatever. There's also situations where someone else is bullying somebody and you're just kind of there and you as a middle schooler don't have the confidence to stand up for that person yet. Yeah, so now you're associated with the bullies. Yeah, that's small town stuff. That's how that all I almost got expelled when I was in middle school because this kid 21:06 Austin was beating up the scrawny kit. We had a scrawny kid yeah. Yeah, you ever school. You were the scrawny kid. Our school had a scrawny kid like that like to say that like Tim, like a little like a kid like Tim, just to say that I'm five nine and so I'm fine. You're going and so he was punching him. He's just ready to punch him and I was. I was the size I am now and so I just you know and all these kids are gathered around and I literally just walked through and that's like didn't 21:33 push or anything, but just walked into the kid and pushed him off of him. Yeah, you know and then I got in trouble for being involved in that fight. Yeah, so there's weird small town stuff is what I mean and so she's perceived as a bully, even though she's not doing bullying stuff. We have a lot to get to. Yeah, is it the same thing? We have a lot to get. Oh my gosh, we don't have that much to get through. We're almost done. Okay, I'm looking at Alex right now, so she gets a text message. She gets a text message at the party at the party. 22:02 that basically says she is there at the Halloween party. Yes, yeah, yeah, and it basically says it's very vulgar. It doesn't say this exactly, but it basically says Owen is supposed to be mine. uh Well, can we do you have a you have the text at all? Do you have any of texts? I don't have them with me because I wasn't planning on actually what's the first text we don't have to read it, but we can I can let me do it in a clean way. Okay, 22:27 like let me do it in a clean way. I freaking hate you. You know, I mean I think we can read it like that or it's like you know what the thing says. You know I'm yeah, but yes they she gets a text. They both get a text. That's important Owen and Lauren are in a group text with this random number. Do know the story Alex great? So this random number texts these two kids in a group chat. So now there's three numbers in a group chat and the random number essentially says he doesn't want you. He's with me 22:57 Yeah right, and so Lauren is like well, that's weird and she looks at Owen and no one's like. I don't know who this is, you know, and they think it's a weird one time text. They're like that was strange. Whatever does Lauren respond to the text? The first one I don't know if they do respond. Actually, I don't think they say whether or not they respond. Yeah, I don't think it says exactly like whether they respond or not, but it is that sort of thing where it's just like we both got this weird text and it basically was saying something along the lines of like 23:27 uh he's mine, he wants to be with me, he doesn't want to be with you ah and so they kind of shake it off. It's like it was a weird thing, don't really think much about it, go on with a lot and it was just one text. I think there was a couple texts that night, okay, but it's just that one, but it was just that one thing sure that one time and then nothing really happens. They kind of forget about it. They move on with their lives until eleven months later, eleven months later, also full year. Yeah, uh 23:56 they both get another text. They're still dating by the way, which honestly you know what I'm talking about when like thirteen year old couples have dated for a year. Those are like they're going the long haul at that point and because they're they're enmeshed yeah. They are at their formative years one now codependent with each other. Good just so you know so now my brother and his wife. 24:22 They're not codependent. But I mean, guess technically once you're married, you are codependent. You should be codependent, right? You're going. uh 24:34 uh So they uh they get another another set of text messages. Okay, very eleven months later. Yeah, very similar in nature of like put some in a group text. It's not the number is I don't think we know this. Does the number ever individually texting them? I don't think so. There were group texts. I'm pretty sure they were individual. Okay, okay, okay. There were group texts, but there are also individual messages. And what's interesting is the numbers are rotating. It's not the same phone number. Yeah, it's not the same phone number. 25:03 So it's not like you're going to block this person. Yeah, yeah. So they get the group text and they get a couple of other uh messages individually and the messages are kind of oscillating between stuff like oh, oh, when should be with me, but and then there's also stuff that's like aggressive to Lauren and like bullying Lauren about her appearance, about she was really athletic. 25:27 about her performance in sports stuff. That was like you're too skinny or I can't believe you'd wear that or ah yeah and then like specific things about what she was wearing that day. Yeah, so this wasn't a person who's like hours away just cyber bullying somebody. These are texts that's like you really think that's what you should wear to school like you. I can't believe you wore those colors together or I know you scored twelve in last night's basketball game. 25:55 you know, stuff that was specific about which is creepy, but all that stuff is focused at Lauren yeah and Owens just kind of like a none of the texts are like to Owen. They're about Owen, but they're not like yeah. They're not like yeah Owen. I love you. I want to be with you. I was not getting those type of texts right yeah yeah. They're mostly in the group text where it's like Owen wants me and then Owen sitting there being like no 26:25 Owen does get some text. I don't know. I'm confused. Do I do I want this person? know who they are. I'm a teenager. Owen is getting text that are like you should break up with her. You should leave her. Yeah, he is getting those kind of, but that's what I mean is that it, but even those texts aren't those are still up targeting Lauren. Yeah, those aren't about Owen. Those aren't like hey, you're dumb. Yeah, they're all like you should leave her. You you know you don't want her. You should break up with her. 26:51 So this stuff, this thing goes on for weeks and weeks of them getting these messages over and over again um and they're they're explicit. They're really just rude and mean cruel. mean, yeah, we are a family friendly podcast, but you got to know these are explicitly vulgar things yeah to say to an adult. Yeah, someone was texting me this stuff. It would be really nasty disgusting. Yeah, when I say disgusting like explicitly describing 27:20 yeah sexual acts kind of stuff, yeah texting to a fourteen year old yeah, you know yeah crazy and so after a little while of this happening over and over again almost on a daily basis. They basically they go to their parents and they're like and it's ramping up to yeah it's getting they go to their parents and the parents are like this has been going on for a month. Yeah, the parents are scrolling through this and they realize that this is forty messages a day. Yeah, this isn't like oh 27:48 right before bed sent firing off one or two. Yeah, this is forty messages through the day. Yeah, yeah, this is like and this is what happens to a lot of people with social media is that you'll you'll see something you don't like and these these people who argue back and forth in the comment section. It's like dude, you'll comment something at seven a.m. and then you'll go back. You'll check it on your lunch break and then that person commented back. So you comment back and then you'll check it like you two o'clock between emails and then they they comment it back. So you come back 28:15 and now you have spent your entire day fighting with this person online. This is happening to these fourteen year old kids all day and they're not telling their parents about it until like a month in and then the parents are like wait what yeah yeah they're like why didn't you say something about so then the mom of oh one's mom is sitting there going like well you know we need to block this number we need to figure out and and then she correctly goes and this is where I was trying to figure out what I would do if this is my kid 28:44 she correctly says if we block this number, then this is still somebody in our town. Yeah, like this is three hundred people in our town. Yeah, this is somebody here who knows what my kid is wearing to school, who knows it, you know, specifics about his relationship with this girlfriend and about what they're doing in sports. Like this is stuff talking about the game. So it's like they're at the game. They're at the games there. This is somebody like in our life in our community. And if we just block the number that could end the text, but that also ends with 29:12 we don't know who's been doing this to our kids for the past month, so that's like where she's going. I think what it should have been was oh and gets a new phone number yeah and you don't tell anybody this phone number yeah. You know and we I think what I would have done. I would have gone full like FBI mode on this where I go. Here's your new phone. The only people who have this phone number are your are your father and I ah sorry. I guess your mother and I, if I'm the one doing it, I was putting myself in her shoes, but whatever 29:42 actually you know what I think it'd be funny if we told our kids that I'm their mom and that's pretty funny. No, but don't know the only people who have this number are your parents yeah and I need to know and we're to give this phone number to Lauren yeah and then you we need to tell Lauren she cannot give this phone number to anybody yeah yeah and then I need to know everyone who has this phone number yeah and we will slowly grow your friend group on this. I'm not trying to isolate you, but we need to find out who and where this is 30:11 and I'm going to keep your other phone alive because the person I'm to keep texting this number yeah right. Probably what I track them down yeah so so they go to their parents, go to their parents, their parents find out about it their parents, it Lauren's mom and Owen's mom. They go to the school. Yeah, they say okay, we need to bring this to school because their immediate thought is this is somebody else in their class. Yeah, that's that's messaging them and so they bring it to the school, the principal and the district superintendent get involved and 30:38 they begin doing kind of an investigation in the school to try to track down who this could be. They're literally watching security camera footage at the school. They're matching like okay. You got a text at at ten twelve a.m. Let's see through the security cameras who's on their phone at ten twelve a.m. Yeah, you know like honestly more than they needed to do, but I will say I do think like 31:01 I think they should have done a lot and I think honestly at this point they probably should have taken it to the authorities earlier because the message were telling her to like harm herself. Not yet. They weren't I don't know if they weren't that early. They weren't a month. Maybe maybe, maybe I don't know the message is only like so this is this goes on for a very long time, but yeah, this is now a year after the first text. Yeah right first text happens in October a full almost year later September. The text start ramping up now they're daily 31:30 and so now it's October, November, the full year after and they take the school and the texts are still very you know he doesn't want you. You should break up. I can't believe you wear this fine bullying that stuff, but I don't think it's I don't think it's gotten to like the threatening self. I guess I don't know when that started. I don't know. know that I know it wasn't when they first took her to the school. Yeah, I think they would have taken to the authorities if if the if when the moms presented it to the school and said look their 31:59 trying to get her to harm herself. I think as mandated reporters, they would have had to do something yeah. You're probably right. That's what I was thinking. You're probably right. I think that when you know and the moms are sitting here being like to the school like hey, can we hold? We think it's somebody on the basketball team. Yeah, we hold a basketball team meeting and be like hey, so somebody on your team is doing this. Yeah, you know, yeah and the superintendent wisely. I think yeah says 32:26 that's going to turn into a witch hunt. Yeah, it's not going to go the way because they're starting to accuse. mean the moms are explicitly starting to accuse that Chloe girl. Yeah, right. They picked out Chloe and they said we're pretty sure it's her, but there is a sheriff involved in the town. Yeah, and so they do after the school does their initial investigation. They start watching the security cam footage. They start asking other kids and eventually they kind of get to the point where it's like we can't take this any further and it's starting to get to the point where we do think like there's a crime happening here. Yeah, and this is now talking about yeah. 32:56 like the texts are reaching a place where it's like they know what you're doing. They know when you're doing it. This is stocking. Let's get the police involved, so the police get involved and it becomes a thing where the police are at school regularly questioning kids that go to school. They're interviewing Lauren and Owen almost every day. Yeah, all their friends because all their friends are getting because it's group chats like it's it's individual to them, but there's also group chats that other kids are and also the friends are trying to figure it out to yeah. They're all they're trying to scooby do gang this thing 33:25 row where they're like, you know, they're like a band of teenagers trying to be like wait, somebody's in our school doing this. They're in class and it's like, you and they're like I got a tax. I honestly though yeah, yeah for real. I don't like the email of island rest for reference that really it makes me so mad that you made a reference to I get a text. I'm also mad that I know what that reference 33:50 me to be like. I barely know though my wife will watch, but you know the thing about this is about love Island is that my wife only watches it because her friends watch it. Maybe I'm giving away her game here, but she doesn't enjoy it. Oh really see. She only watches it to be able to talk to friends like Brie and other friends that I won't name. No, nobody at our house watches it dogs. My dog watch our house watches it. Brie goes to bed archers asleep and it's on the TV. 34:20 My dogs are no dogs. I I can't stop on my dog. that so my dogs love love Island. I'll tell you what I love. I love a good night at the end of the day where I can sit down love islands on the TV. My dogs are on the floor watching the love Island. My dogs are out while I'm eating a couple of chili dogs. 34:54 all right, moving on so and I drink that dog fish beer or whatever it's called. Isn't that a beer? I don't know. Is that a beer that sounds like one is that I am I making that up? It sounds like one, so I'm watching the dogs watch these dogs on love. 35:11 So on the TV is a couple of dogs and on the floor is a couple of dogs watching those dogs and my fetus, my toes are out, so my dogs are out while my dogs are on the floor watching those dogs and I'm eating a couple of chili dogs. So my chili dogs 35:28 while my dogs are out on my dogs on the floor watching those dogs and I'm throwing back a couple of dog fish, so I'm sipping on some dogs while I'm meeting some dogs. Well, my dogs are out while my dogs are on the floor watching those dogs and one of those dogs said I got a text. 35:45 Okay, uh, so the sheriff gets involved. 35:50 it was a funny bit. It was I wasn't trying to be funny. That was serious. I was describing what I do on Thursday nights. That wasn't a funny bit. Okay, sorry. That was a thousand. Don't be a glass. That was a very serious spit. Not even a bit. That was a very serious segment. That was a very serious monologue, a monodog. Okay, so 36:15 the sheriff gets involved. is coming to school. There's body cam footage in this documentary where he's sitting down interviewing not only other students, but those students parents, you know, yeah, and these kids. Once the sheriff is interviewing you, it's it really does become like a witch hunt culture, yeah, where now the school thinks it's that person. Yeah, you know which sidebar wild to me. How many of these kids specifically? How many of these kids parents didn't tell them 36:44 don't talk to that police officer like that is true crazy to me, but again again small town yeah like my mom went to high school with that police officer yeah that's true and it's true. We've talked about that before and during the day or episode specifically where 37:02 the local police officer may legitimately be on your side yeah, but the footage they get and the questions they ask can be used by a prosecutor later. Who's not who's not and that's the unfortunate thing about community policing is that you could have a relationship with that police officer, but and they may not be angling to try to get you yeah, but they can get you, but you should not talk to those people yeah yeah. 37:29 so he's talking to he's talking to these students without parents there yeah. It's not like the parents are there every time I would be so furious if I found out, but also the other side of it too is like what someone's texting my kid. You want to find out what's going on? Yeah, you know, do I only let the cop have information when I'm there like then it's you know if he's got a lead, then I want him to follow you know like it's it's and also I know the cop 37:55 Yeah, that is true. The small town politics thing is is it's tough. Something I think about running for mayor in my hometown is this. I'm probably not 38:06 because I don't want to move back to I don't want to live there. I know I like my home town. I don't want to live there and I think that's what I'd run on is like I want to live here. No, I don't to live here. I don't want to live here to you, so let me make it a guy where we want to live. Nobody wants to live here pretty good campaign and who do you think is at fault for that? Yeah, here's what I do and I'll call out of the podcast right now Mount Vernon, Missouri needs this to happen. So you know from my hometown, I'll run from here 38:34 and I was straight up in my stump speech. I don't even know if the mayor's get to do speeches. You know in my campaigning, yeah, I would say hey look you've been voting for these policies that do this, this and this. These developments are not coming to Mount Vernon. They're not I said, but I'll tell you what when you look at the last twenty years of Mount Vernon, what has destroyed it? 38:55 Yeah. Is it this set of policies that I'm a that or is it the fact that Wilmoth owns half of the strip and has let it decay for twenty years now because he thought that there was going to be a Buckees that went there and it ended up going down to Springfield. Yeah, so you've let him destroy this town. When you drive into town, it looks deserted and it looks dead because Wilmoth owns that land and won't give it up to be redeveloped because he's just trying to make a buck on it later. Ten year, ten more years from now. Yeah, yeah, so anyway, 39:22 take all the garking is happening in my hometown is what I'm saying and a much smaller scale oligarchy happens everywhere. Every place garts, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. We almost did a whole episode without crashing out. Come come on, come on, come on. So anyway, small town cop is like and the rich guy in town is like, oh, because he's there and he's got a box fan. He's floating and so we almost made it. uh The wealth gaps, undeniable, so 39:54 so the text continues, the text continues and the texts are becoming a thing where it literally doesn't stop throughout the day like rice all day, like from sun up to sundown, just constant and I won't even says that the documents are okay. Good morning like waking up seven AM. Here's a text yeah, you know and the texts are getting worse. Yeah, they're more and also the texts are encouraging. She's fourteen 40:20 the texts are almost saying like Owen wants to break up with you because you won't do this with him, and so it's it's like press peer, the texts are trying to say you should be doing more with Owen and it's so it's stuff. What's like for a fourteen year old to receive is unfathomable. It's insane and so Lauren's dad is wrecked over this stuff trying to figure this out. Lauren's mom is also talking to the police every day trying to be like who's doing this stuff. Owen's parents 40:48 are checking his phone every night, and so that's also something that's like dang dude. So Owens played with this, but also as your parents like we're yeah, that's a before we go to bed. We're just reading all this nasty stuff. Someone's saying to you all day and it's not just them because because there are other kids in the school who are getting the text, so their families are getting played by it. Yeah, and it's also there's the kids who are getting accused of it and so ultimately own and Lauren end up breaking up over this. Yeah, they end up splitting up 41:16 um because they not because Lauren's like. Are you really cheating on me? You know, but it's just it becomes and that's what I'm saying is that it becomes all you can think about yeah yeah and it yeah and they can't have an actual relationship outside of this thing anymore yeah m and so the teenage love dissipates like someone so often and you would think the text messages got what they wanted yeah, so they stop. They do not they did it. They kept going 41:45 and now the texts because the texts aren't like oh and wants to break up with you. Now the texts become much more. You should kill yourself and that's yeah, I mean your fault and then like it's your fault. He's moved on. He doesn't love you. He never will. No one will yeah and it's talking about like yeah appearance and the way she dresses and athletics. She was a big athlete. Here's a photo of her when she was younger with her. This is her parents yeah and her parents 42:13 um and she was a show a picture of all the parents. If you've got them, I don't have all the okay, okay, okay, um but this is just yeah. This is just her parents yeah and her mom was her basketball. They all look like a normal Midwest family. Yeah, you know for real um her mom coached her sports um and she played all softball, baseball, the whole fast ball yeah and there was one specific night where she had a bad night at basketball. It didn't score a basket or anything like that um 42:42 she gets a text after words just talking about how bad she is and she ends up actually quitting sports all together ah and so the pressure yeah, and so this is having like a significant impact on her life specifically, Owen's life specifically and the town families in the town as a whole, because now the whole town is in on it ah and both their moms are like banding together to try to figure this out. They're always at the school. They're on the phone with each other. they're always talking to the sheriff. What's Owens mom's name? Oh, his mom's name is names 43:11 Jill and Kendra Kendra Kendra is is loren's mom Jill is Owens mom right uh and so the sheriff reaches the point where he's like I've done all I can yeah he's like he's like a question to everybody. I've watched the footage like I've done everything I'm capable of doing on my own um and so he calls the FBI and says hey, I need more resources. If I'm going to get to the bottom of this right and so he sends everything he has the FBI the FBI 43:36 briefs on the case and says yeah. This is something we should pursue this and do we know a time line of how far this is now? I believe this is just under twenty months almost two years. Yeah crazy yeah, so the FBI gets involved and they take their phones and they do a full data dump of their phones so they can dig deep through the data and see if they can find and they're looking at snapchat locations. They're looking at this text came from Florida. Well Chloe happened to be on vacation in Florida at the same time. So now the cop is like what did you know is she involved like they're looking at every app 44:06 every piece of data they can find yeah and after looking through that data, they don't really find anything conclusive that paints a picture for any specific person or motive or anything like that, but something interesting happens while uh Lauren is at family Christmas. She gets a photo. That's right of one of her gifts. No, it's Owen Owen gets that. Oh, you're right. Owen gets Lauren gets a law. Owen gets a photo of one of Lauren's gifts. 44:36 or is it vice? No, the picture was taken at Owens house. Okay, so it's the pictures of Owen and I don't remember who it gets sent to. I think it gets sent to Owen. No, it gets sent to Lauren. Yeah, yes, so Lauren gets a picture of Owen at Christmas. Yeah, so somebody at Owens and like immediately after like it's like yes during family Christmas. It's not like this picture got posted somewhere and they went and got it like this is during. This is a picture taken at Owens house 45:06 during Christmas that is now sent to Lauren. It was like he's spending Christmas with me. Yeah, it's like that scene in the chair company where he's sitting and gets the thing sure so gets gets a text message, a picture of Owen's house at Christmas time. This sends Jill now she's wanting to go full lockdown because this is not only somebody in the house. This is somebody is family, somebody in my home. Yeah, yeah is taking this picture. Yeah, 45:35 and sending it to Lauren yeah, so whoever sending his text messages is in my house. Yeah, yeah right now, so at that point you can't just block the number yeah. This is somebody in your life. Yeah, this is somebody that's not just in your life, but like in your immediate like yeah. oh 45:55 Hey, thanks for listening to Things I Learned Last Night. It would do us a huge favor if you could just share this episode with somebody or just share the show. Tell someone you like it. That helps us grow the show. Another way to help us grow the show is to support our merch, which is actually super comfy. We changed to a new merch supplier a couple years ago called Fourth Wall. You can buy our stuff at shop.tillen.com. None of this is a pressure, by the way, but it just really does help us grow the show and it helps, you know, get the word out and people ask me about my hoodie in the airport all the time. So they're really comfy. Would love for you to support the show. 46:24 And either way, thanks for being here. We're glad that we get to do this podcast. 46:32 And so the FBI kind of ramps it up a little bit and they go, this is coming from a lot of different phone numbers. Yep. And they end up discovering, hey, we can take these numbers. These numbers are all associated with a specific app that lets you rotate phone numbers. And so they get a search warrant from that company to identify those phone numbers and what IP addresses are associated with that. They managed to get the IP numbers associated with that. That came back. 47:00 as Verizon IP numbers. Yeah. And the way that works is Verizon has a set of IPs and every phone number pings those IPs. And so you're able to source, OK, this IP is associated with the X number of phone numbers. And so we can then go through these phone numbers and see, does he does any of these people know any of these phone numbers that are pinged to them? And there was one number that just repeatedly kept coming up. uh 47:27 that this is like a huge data set. This is like a gigantic spreadsheet of phone numbers and there's one number that's kind of sprinkled throughout pretty often yeah and so they basically are able to say we have enough evidence to confidently say that ah the person sending these messages is Kendra, Lauren's mom, ah which is crazy. So they get which is wild. 47:55 because she's in the documentary the whole time and has also been talking to the police the whole time and has also been talking to Jill the whole time about like who's doing this yeah all the while Kendra is sitting at home texting her own daughter yeah and her daughter's boyfriend insanely explicit vulgar wild things and or fifty times a day and telling your daughter to kill herself yeah, I real 48:25 and then it's also in the documentary. That's also crazy. So the police get a search warrant. They say okay, we're going to go get all of her devices because they they have enough to say it's coming from her number, but they don't necessarily have enough to say it's her right. So they get a search warrant to go. That's also a theory where people were like maybe Lauren's doing this to herself. Yeah, yeah, you maybe she's using a laptop or using the the the wi fi or her account or whatever to send these things to herself to to get some drugs like that's 48:53 so they need to nail it on her for sure yeah. So they go to they go to her house uh and she's outside. She's outside the police show up and they say hey, we got to go in inside and talk and through that conversation they seize all of her electronics. The sheriff is talking you a picture of this during the the sheriff is talking to her uh and the sheriff basically says like hey like we know it's you. know it's you and and she confesses she yes and she said and the sheriff says do you want to bring Lauren in and 49:22 tell Lauren what's going on and so she says I this is the part that I think is insane and this is where it's like the small town sheriff wasn't a moron for this yeah, because at that moment, as soon as we get a confession that she's the one doing it well, oh we almost didn't because what happened was she's outside when the police pull up. They go hey, could we go inside and talk so first she's trying to answer around and she was no. We know you did it. We know you know 49:50 and the other cop is like okay. Is this all the devices and and she's like yeah, this is all of them and he's like no, but for real is this all the devices. What were you doing out in the yard? Well, what happened and she had thrown another phone in the bushes yeah, so she calls she so that the sheriff says you want to bring Lauren in and Lauren comes in and the sheriff tells Lauren what's going on. Your mom has been sending you all these times. We in the body cam footage is kind of crazy because you can see 50:18 lauren finding out and her mom who's been doing this is hugging her consoling her yeah, and this is where I was fuming and it's like you just like did they and I'm looking at the cop like separate them yeah. They you should not be that near your daughter right now. Yeah, this is insane that you're letting this happen and so they call the husband husband flies home. Yeah, the husband comes home and when the husband comes home, he says he says she's an o 50:44 he says. Which phone did you get and he says, are there others and he's like yeah, she's got a second and so that's when they come in and she ditched another phone. She another phone outside outside when the when the police showed up, those devices do confirm that she is the one that she was the one sending the messages yeah, so they end up taking her to trial. She ends up getting a little over a year in prison for this and talk about 51:07 briefly the other stuff that she had done because her husband's completely oblivious to all this. Yeah, so they when they get there, but they were separated at this time, right. They've been struggling. I don't think that I don't believe they've officially separated, but they're on the rocks. They're right. They recently lost a home. They moved all their stuff into a storage unit that they also lost, um and so they're living out of their lake house. um She she worked in tech and she had a job at uh a college the next town over um 51:37 that working with NIT and then she actually got a job for a larger college where she was able, what she told her husband to keep both jobs and to run both those jobs because one of them was remote. ah And so the new job was a significant pay bump, but she kept both of them. So they were like, oh, we've, we've just got a giant raise essentially. And so they kind of inflated their lifestyle. And this was the very beginning of when these text messages began. um 52:07 but what had actually happened is uh she got let go from the first college. Didn't tell her husband, got this replacement job and almost immediately got put on a performance plan because she was texting all the time. And so they put her on this performance plan and she within weeks of getting hired at that new job, let go lot, lost the job, but didn't tell her husband. So then they 52:36 and her husband. She ran all the money yeah she would. She ran the finances so she just told him everything was fine and they end up losing their home. Yeah, they move all their possessions into a storage unit. She's not paying the storage unit, so they lose all the possessions there and she just pretended to work every day. She woke up. She said she worked and he finds out when the police are there. He finds out in real time that she got fired from that job six months ago. You can see it on the on the like the body cam footage where he goes. He goes. How long ago did you lose that job? Yeah, because he told me that you don't work anymore. Yeah, 53:05 and she says, six months yeah and so that's when he the dad is like I'm taking lower. We're getting out of here. You need to go stay at your mom's house yeah and that should have the police should have done that immediately. By the way, the police should not have been like you should not have let them see each other. That's in that happened. Lauren even come in. What I was saying is that it wasn't just that she was texting she she had conned her husband. Essentially yeah she con her husband and that's the thing is she 53:32 She was doing so much that she couldn't keep her job like she lost her job because of how much she was sending these text messages. And then she when she lost her job, like she went to this thing where she would pretend she was working and then once no one was around, she would just sit and text all day and then she would like edit photos to send and like put explicit things in the photos and send those photos to the kids. And like literally this became her job like every day. 54:02 She would wake up, she'd send these messages, and she would fake business calls, fake work calls. It seems like she was obsessed with Owen. Well, what's interesting is, so she denies that in documentary. So in the documentary, it was really interesting. I read a bunch of stuff after watching the documentary. The documentary kind of wraps up with her going to prison and there's kind of a couple of loose ends that they tie up in the documentary. One of them being her relationship with her daughter. And so her daughter talks about how they've stayed in touch while she's in prison. 54:31 and they keep talking and how her daughter says she still wants to have a relationship with her. because her daughter's still in like they're enmeshed. Yeah, they're she's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But what's interesting is there was two sets of interviews that happened with Lauren for the documentary and that was the very beginning of her prison sentence is when that first interview happened right at the end of the documentary. There's the second interview which happened after Lauren's mom got out of prison. 55:01 And then what we see it from that is that they haven't seen each other yet. Her parents have officially divorced. Her dad got full custody and they're not, they've gone like no contact. ah And so she says, she, she talks about how she's like, I would love to have a relationship with my mom again, like I did before, but I don't know when that or if that happened. So the documentary kind of ties that up. And then the documentary talks about Owen's family and 55:27 and it's very interesting seeing Jill react because Jill was shot like obviously her best friend yeah and and they had spent so much time trying to be like you did this to my kids yeah and and like they spent so much time trying to solve this together like they are a united force trying to solve this mystery together. It was her the whole time yeah and so it kind of ties up that side of the story. It ties up Chloe side of the story because Chloe was the one who was like pretty heavily accused of doing this, but what's interesting is if you 55:55 look at the story outside of the documentary. doc and Owen Owen kind of talks about how she's like in the documentary, Owen kind of talks about how he felt like Kendra didn't have very good boundaries with him. And she's like, she would cut my steak. She would constantly try to take pictures with me. She was at all my games, like a very weird relationship with him. Sure. And so the documentary kind of paints it like she was kind of obsessed with Owen. Right. But if you read it from outside and look in uh 56:25 like outside sources. I don't know. think there's like four possibilities. Sure. Here, obviously, like there's the possibility she was obsessed with Owen. There is like, if you look outside, like Jill even says the documentary made it look like they were really, really close. Right. And like they were they were in this together. But Jill realized pretty early on that there's a possibility that Kendra was doing it, but she had no way to prove it. And she said that she noticed because there was a specific time 56:55 where they were, um, uh, ah Owen, Owen and Lauren had already broken up and Owen started seeing this other girl in the next town over. Yes. And, uh, Lauren's family had no idea about this. Not a lot of people in town even knew about this. It was very new, very fresh. And Lauren's or Owen's Lauren's mom, Kendra kept asking Jill about Owen's relationship status, like just constantly. 57:25 questioning it, wanting to find out about it. And then she found out about like Jill told her about this new girl, the next town over and then almost immediately like the next day next girl starts getting text messages. Yeah. And so she thought that was very fishy and she was like, okay, I need to not talk to her about anything other than this thing. And so what's interesting is that was the case of most of the town. The school was like, this is not one of our kids. We're pretty confident. This is Kendra and school was like school. Yeah, 57:54 And so like there's there is an interview that the principal did really the principal did it with the cut and he said there were many of the staff at our school that were fairly confident. It was Kendra from the jump and there was parents all throughout the none of that was in the documentary. That's crazy. There's parents all throughout the town who were like yeah, we're pretty sure this is Kendra and the reason why is Kendra's personality Kendra Kendra was a transplant. She was not from the town. 58:23 She met her husband in college and then moved into town with them and so she never fit in like everybody else who grew up there right start but she was a person who just loved attention and she didn't feel like she fit and This thing happened and this is the part where like I kind of This if this is true if this storylines true I kind of think I might believe her because she throughout the documentary maintains that she wasn't the first person to send the text 58:51 of course yeah, so I have a theory in that, go ahead. What was your and so what she says is that the text started and then so then she started texting also claiming that if I text then maybe I can find some clues. If I'm also in their texting, I can show her some things out and help help solve this and so, ah but what's interesting is hearing that she loved attention, really wanted to fit in this got her a lot of attention because her kid was so enmeshed in this 59:19 and so everybody wanted to talk to her all of a sudden when they didn't before and she couldn't get a sense of community, even though this was a really messed up way to find it like she was starting. So what I think was the first Halloween text that Chloe's party yeah because it was a whole year before she got another text. Here's what I think happened. I think that first Halloween text she got Lauren came home and was devastated, felt bolded, felt 59:48 isolated at school and really leaned on kinder and so kinder, having a teenager is a tough time. The teenagers are naturally trying to want to break away from the parents. This is an event that happened that then made my daughter come to me and I can console her and help her through that. So now we're the closest we've been because we walked through you being isolated and feeling alone right now. Now a year later now things that my work are getting kind of difficult 01:00:16 we're starting to feel strained again, but I remember what brought us together. What brought us together last year was a text message, so I think it starts with all the Senate text message yeah and because that's what I'm saying. The text messages were not vulgar from the beginning. Yeah, it's true. The text messages were he doesn't want to be with you. He doesn't like you. They were. I mean still not something obviously not something you should send to your kid, but not not what they became wild right yeah and so then it you know sends 01:00:45 now she's coming to me now we're close again and then what you're saying is then it spirals and spills over to the community of like we're trying to figure out who's doing this yeah well now everywhere I go in my small town, whichever bar we choose to go to that night of our two or if I'm stuck at the spot at the stoplight, ah everyone's like hey, what's going on with what you guys have any update on that and now 01:01:08 that starts to grow that inside of you, but that's what I'm saying. I think the first Halloween text might have been from somebody at school. I think so. You know possible. I think it was complete. I don't think it was Kendra. I think a year later she goes. Ooh, that's what brought us close. Yeah, let me try it again, which I wish they would have spent a little bit more time on that and document it because the superintendent actually says like he thinks it was much hounds by proxy, which is essentially what that is. And if you don't know, it's a mental disorder where a parent feels that they 01:01:38 their kid is moving on in life without them and they need to take care of them and very famous cases like where they usually the famous ones are where the mom or parent has drugged their kid and made them physically you know ill and maybe even paralyzed and like so they can be a caretaker for them yeah and that ramps up and you know or they faked their kid having some kind of 01:02:06 you know horrible cancer of some sort, but I never actually had cancer and so then they get to come in and take care, and so this is a similar situation where it's like they faked this whole trauma. So she has that's exactly what I'm saying is that the you know she knew that that was what's going to get you close and then a year later is like let me replicate that yeah and then it just spirals and because because because you have to keep ramping it up for it to go on like eventually like if it stays on same level like it just kind of goes away and so and she kind of got in over her head. 01:02:36 Um, uh, but yeah, the other side of it is the, in the cut interviews, you actually do find out like her and Lauren's family were very close. Like they did do a lot of holidays together. They did do a lot of things. Yeah. Jill and Kendra's family. Yeah. They were very, very close. Um, and there was a time before all this happened where Owen would actually refer to Kendra as a second mom. And, but Kendra was the relationship with Kendra and Owen was always a little weird and Owen. 01:03:04 talked about how like there was definitely some things where it felt like she was well. I don't even think we got to wrap this up, but I really don't even think that she was obsessed with Owen. I think she was obsessed with Lauren yeah because it's one of the things to when you have that like need for approval or wanting to be connected to the people around you. Yeah, what ends up happening is the way you view your kids is not as individual people, but as an extension of you yeah, and so she became obsessed with Lauren's appearance yeah. 01:03:33 and you know that's where I mean you can see that you can see that dynamic. It's always like you know the dad who wants his people are like always trying to live through his kid. No, typically what's happening is that he wants his last name on a star player. He doesn't care. It's him yeah, you know yeah and it's so it's not even like oh, I'm trying to live through you. It's a hey, you're an extension of me. Yep, you are you are me yeah, and so that's what that if you know 01:04:02 her looking at her daughter, teasing her looks, trying to get her to conform to certain things. I don't think is an obsession with Owen. I think Owen was just an accessory to the fact versus okay, could be you know, that's what I that's what I would think, but it also could be that she was like. I think I love this kid. I think it's most likely the munchausen by proxy situation. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I think that's the most likely you know is that I want you know I want 01:04:26 because it would be close to me because it became a thing where like it genuinely harmed her life like they lost right. Basically everything I mean it's the same reason that I buy podcast downloads you know one listens to this, but if we don't do it then you're going to quit being my friend and so every week we talk about what we could do for the podcast. I've been buying. I've been buying tens of thousands of downloads. Thanks for being here. You fake you're talking to nobody you fake people. What's up fakers? 01:04:54 So yeah, that's the story. Let him go. They say something dumb and ruin the bit won't he up fakers. What's up fakers? So that's the documentary. That's cool. Yeah, that's the documentary. What's up? Oh my gosh, I'm so mad. You are so good story. Kendra wasn't going to be in the documentary at first. Actually, she that's what I was. She because when you watch this documentary, the whole first half Kendra is just like yeah, we were trying to figure it out. It was like 01:05:21 and then when it reveals that you're like you freaking did it yeah yeah. She wasn't she wasn't going to be in it at first that second set of interviews that they have everyone you'll notice like you watch the whole documentary. There's one set of that where everyone's at and then like it's like oh everyone just got older like it's like because that was after the prison sentence and after Kendra was like oh I want to do it yeah and so Kendra tries to spin the story. I don't think she does a good job spinning this stuff, but that's that's again the broken brain thing of like well at least I have an opportunity to 01:05:51 she thinks she's going to manipulate the audience yeah yeah. know yeah and she tries to say like you don't know my life like everybody has their mistakes. She tries to equate it to like sometimes you drink and like you drive and you don't get caught. So it's like is it that bad, but like sometimes you get caught and she's like I got caught and it's like that's not it's not the same at all. Yeah, that's not like that's like a what you're comparing a one time also eight hundred text a day. That's what yeah like that's crazy so 01:06:20 Anyways, it was a great documentary. If you didn't watch it yet, you should have watched it before you heard this because that reveal is crazy, but it is worth a watch. is wild, pretty crazy stuff to see the full and you can text tillin to six six eight six six to join our email list. We promise to send you extremely vulgar crazy things. That's wild. 01:06:45 Hey fiddle off by the way. Thanks. Share this episode with somebody who has not watched the documentary. Just tell them to go in blind and also you can. You can go listen to another episode. uh What's one that's similar to this? Anything I can't think of anything anywhere near closest. Have we done? I guess the watcher, the watcher similar. You know what? Let's try this exit over again. Fiddle off. Huh? So hey, please share this episode with somebody that helped us. I'll scroll the show a lot. I promise I'll quit buying downloads when you guys start sharing and uh 01:07:15 right, but if you like this episode, go check out the watcher of six five seven Boulevard, kind of a creepy thing where someone's putting letters in their mailbox instead of text messages in their inbox, and so you can go check that out and then also next week's episode is available right now to our Patreon supporters. It's ad free. You get it next week right now. You to join the discord, all that fun stuff. Thanks for supporting the show. Thanks for being here. We'll see you next time on things. learned last night.


Strange messages can shake even the strongest people. That is what happened in a small Michigan town when an Unknown Number began sending cruel texts to two young teens. What seemed like simple bullying slowly grew into something darker. This is the true story of how a community faced fear, confusion, and betrayal. All because of an Unknown Number. When … Read More

This Is the Problem Houston Had | Apollo 13

12-02-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, hey, what's up, fiddle off, so short, really short. We've been doing too long episodes lately. These episodes have been way too long, way too long, going to cut them down or shorter fiddle off. That was it. What's the topic? I love that I'm because what's gonna have a Robert's gonna play that the fiddle off music and then we're going to talk for a second here and then he's going to run the intro right now. I say the topic first 00:24 I've ever heard of Apollo thirteen Apollo thirteen. Wow, we're going to the moon. Ha, it's crazy. Okay, so we went to the moon, came back and then but the whole reason we did that was to uh because we wanted to beat Russia there and we did it with public funds. That's why people I'm just going through all the potential rants. It's going to happen like we're going talk about how Elon wants to go to space. Why aren't people so excited about Elon going to space? We were not doing with tax dollars. I'm not going to cheer on a billionaire. We went to the moon together. That was the whole point fiddle off 00:52 it's close. I guess that is close. All right, we're gonna have ah beat those Russian 01:02 Then we saw the lizard eatin' the cheese! Out of context quotes. Out of context quotes. Out of context quotes. Now I saw that lizard eat the cheese. Stronger than the moon! Out of context quotes. of context quotes. Things I learned last night. 01:33 So the ball of that's the theme song. You know, and then there's like some out of context quote that's like, whoa, the lizard ate the cheese, you know, and it's like kind of listen to find out what that man, what he says there. Yeah. All right. Well, I don't know if Jen wants to be here. Why would you say that? I want to be here. 02:01 all right, so a bother to ask me fifty four minutes from now. If I want to be here though, my answer will be no, I will. If we're here fifty four minutes, I hope we're not. I pray to God and we're not at this rate. We will be that was time we've spent talking about. So a ball of thirteen all right close. This was not the first. The first of the moon was a pall, eleven 02:31 so which feels late. Well, we had to try a bunch. Yeah, that's a big trip. That's a hard. That's a hard thing to pull off, which I will say. Oh shoot a bunch of moon land fakers are going to find this video. No, I will say it is interesting. Never mind. So a paw eleven happens. They go to the moon land on it, come back. Everyone's like well, Paul in nineteen sixty nine sixty nine. Yes, yeah, 02:59 ah and then we do Apollo twelve and then Apollo thirteen rolls around. We're like we're going to do it a third time and everyone's like you've done this twice. I don't know if I'm really care anymore. ah I don't know if that was at the sentiment. eh I don't think that was a sentiment, but here's what happened. So they but Apollo thirteen is like a famous Apollo. That's what I'm saying. Apollo eleven famous because they walked on the moon for the first time. Yeah, right. Apollo thirteen famous for what we're about to talk about. Yeah, I know I'm not gonna spoil it. Apollo twelve kind of slept on 03:29 yeah. I'm really honest. I don't remember what like what's what's significant about Apollo twelve. We went to the moon. Yeah, you're right. I guess uh it was the sixth crude flight in the second to land on the moon, so it did actually land on the man. Okay, that's what I thought. I thought they did yeah, but yeah, we don't talk about it because it's it's yeah. So you know, it like are gonna make it back yeah and so a paw thirteen they they uh 03:58 this was a April 11, 1970 and what's interesting about this is almost in what nine months after the Apollo eleven flight right, which is pretty crazy. I didn't realize how close how close together these work as twelve happened in the middle there to yeah, but this was, think it was one those things where they were. I mean if Apollo eleven hadn't made it to the moon, you know they were going to keep trying yeah. 04:24 They had, think they, I think I read somewhere that they contract like 15 of these flights to the man. So NASA had a lot of plans to pull it off. But by this point I, and I do wonder, we're now in 1970 and Kennedy's speech was by the end of the decade. And so now we're in a new decade. As everyone's like, we're onto the next thing. We don't care anymore. No, there was, I did see a lot of reports talking about it because they televised the launch, the launch happened. The viewership was not crazy on the launch. There was a later point in the flight. 04:53 where they actually televised from within the space module and like they like had the crew just kind of talking about what life is like in space and they did a little, a little segment of the show in there and no network picked it up. No major network picked it up because they're like, that's not interesting. No one cares. As I do think there is something at this point where people started to the fact that no major network wanted to pick up that segment tells me that there was 05:22 that the public was not as interested anymore. And I do think it's like we did it. We got there. We beat the Russians. Like we pulled it off. We did it again. And it's like, how interesting is it to do it a third time? Like now it's sort of become a little routine, you know? So this wasn't like a huge event yet, but it launches on April 11, 1970 and the launch is decent. There was an engine that cut off a little early, but other than that, like 05:51 Got to space, no problem. Right. And I should show you the crew. I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. Here's our crew. ah 06:04 Yeah. 06:07 Yeah. 06:10 it is the basic. It's from the Apollo thirteen movies. It's Tom Hanks and the guy from Twister, the guy from his whose name I know, but I can't think of it right now. Paxton Bill Paxton yeah and then Lieutenant Dan. So how early out close because it was this was a power thirteen directed by the movie. Was it directed by the same person did force Gump? 06:38 I because what every time I see movies it's like oh you cast the same people. It's usually like the same yes, you know, because they're like yeah, we've got the unless Tom Hanks was like yeah, we should get Lieutenant Dan yeah yeah. I don't know if it was hold on. pulling up the yeah director Ron Howard did Ron so Bill Paxton is in this movie and he's also in the what year was the original twister ninety five yeah. Was it ninety five it was sometime in the nineties 07:07 Yeah, that was a massive hit yeah yeah and you know I grew up in tornado alley, so not this re by the way. Okay, interesting was this close to win for sky. I mean this is obviously close to when force come came out because like they look the same age. Yeah, it was a year later. Yeah, see that's what saying. So they were in the same movie back to back crazy right. I said the same agent maybe so who's the real crew? Oh, you want to know something funny about this 07:38 is I was scrolling through on Google images really quickly before pulling this in and you and this is the real image and I didn't I didn't full screen it. I just saw a bunch of astronauts with the same background and I was like this looks like a better picture. I want to take that one. Oh, you didn't do that on purpose. My question is when it went up, did you realize I didn't even look and then you laughed and I'm like what's he laughing at and I'm like looking at I'm like what's funny about these astronauts and then I saw Tom Hanks. I was like oh 08:07 Oh, I did the cast. This is the cast. This is not the real. 08:19 okay. So this is the real crew which looks nothing like them. Here's the background is similar. The man here's what I love is I love that Hollywood did a thing through the the nineties where they were just like we don't need the we don't need actors to look like the original people at all. Yeah well, it's because none of these guys are hot go back to the other one. Describe, describe which of these guys you think is hot 08:45 let's hear it to guy in the middle as a really hot forehead, just like me guy on the right is a really hot forehead, just like me got on the left great lips. They all do have large foreheads, don't they? They do. Yeah, that is interesting. I think it's a nineties thing and me being a product of the nineties also big forehead. Yeah, okay, so so this is the actual crew. Sorry about the confusion. Yeah James level junior 09:15 John Swigert and Fred Hayes are their names and that's not their names. Oh, okay, try it again. James leveled junior James Arthur level junior okay, ah and then ah sorry uh John L Swigert junior and Fred Hayes. 09:40 Okay, I don't know what you're doing. saying go back to the other one, the Tom Hanks picture. 09:51 Uh huh. And then go back to the original one and tell me their names again. 09:59 Cause you're wrong. 10:02 James level, John elsewhere. Who's knows that Fred Hayes? Okay, Fred Hayes level. They're on there guy in middle is not swigger. 10:16 Why you saying that? Because his uniform says Mattingly. 10:23 Ah interesting and go back to the other picture. You can see a clearer the better picture of them. 10:29 the better picture. Okay, okay. I see what you're saying. was like, what are you talking about? I can't believe you can read that. What are you talking about? I can yeah, it's got the letter M and then adding Lee after it. So who is mattingly? I don't know. Hold on. I want to make sure you get your facts straight. 10:49 Yeah, I'm pulling this up. Give me a second. Oh, this makes sense. so oh 10:58 Ken Mattingly, Thomas, Ken Manning Lee. This makes sense. Okay, so he was originally scheduled to fly on fall thirteen, a father team, but he was replaced by Jack Swigert because he got measles. Oh okay, yeah, so maybe so I guess this photo must have been taken before the actual trip. Okay, when they were scheduled to do it and then he got over nineteen, what's interesting is in the movie. I guess they were like yeah, we're gonna 11:24 much forget about the guy getting measles and not send him on the trip. I don't understand. It's been a long time since I've the movie. It was that a plot line in the movie did maddingly like not make it on the trip and then they send someone else. I don't know because that's a pretty big star to cast to just back. Sorry, you're not going to make it on the trip. Well, I'm sure it's sick. Well, isn't the I mean the most of the movie takes place pre launch right? That's I don't remember the movie that much. I guess I don't remember the movie. I mean I remember the sea. I remember the end of the movie. Yeah, yeah, I don't 11:53 now I got to look at the cast. If you've not seen the movie maddenly did it. That's the spoiler. He did it the whole time. It was him. Okay, yeah. So they did do that and Kevin Bacon played swagger. That's what I'm saying. Okay, okay. So they did do that. Yeah, interesting. I'm yeah, but I'm like you're showing a picture and maddingly is who we're looking at. Yeah, well, it's because I was I just I saw this picture. I was like this looks like they see the budget astronaut. Okay, 12:20 so he was a bunch of astronauts sure. I don't know their names yeah. No, we've got level and haze and then maddingly who then gets measles and replaced yeah yeah with swinger. Yes um and so ah one of these guys hold on to me. Let me go back over here to my notes. Now you've got me all. I'm not sure who's who now hold on. I think it was 12:44 Do you need glasses because I can read the TV from here, but you can't read your computer from there. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just asking. Do you know my mom didn't let me get a while you look at this up? Did you know why my mom did not believe me when I was in sixth grade and I was like hey, I can't see and she was like no. Yes, you can. You just want attention. You know your friend Dalton got glasses and now you want glasses and I was like she's over here and I was like 13:10 okay, right. I couldn't see it that gum thing. I literally was like sitting there, but I literally I remember the day I convinced her where I was like mom, I cannot read the time on the VCR. I like there's a little clock there and I can't read it. It's too blurry and she was like no, yes you can. I said I can't read the clock and it finally took one of my teachers telling her hey Jaron can't read the board. Yeah, yeah for her to be like oh oh you're right. I guess I've been 13:39 gas lighting my kid for a year. My poor blind child, so level level is the one I was looking for. Yeah, he is the only he's the main character. Yeah, he's the only one who did uh to Apollo missions. He did Apollo eight, which was not one of the ones that landed yeah and then this Apollo thirteen, but so he's the only one here who's got experience being in space, being in space, yeah, which 14:06 I guess is not a common thing like I because I ended up having to pull up the whole list of astronauts who've done this. It looks like pretty much everyone, at least on the Apollo missions, only did one mission, which is interesting. A lot of them went and did other missions after that, but for the Apollo program, it was just one uh so over is one. Okay, ah so they take off. They go to space and the take off. The whole process was normal. It pretty normal, yeah, relatively smooth. Yeah, they make the course 14:35 course corrections and they they do this broadcast that no network wanted to pick up. I think they ran out like PBS or something and in the broadcast. What's interesting is people recounted what they saw on this broadcast. They said it was very strange because it was like watching a bunch of really smart people behave like teenagers because they just like we're showing you around the cabin um being what's up guys. Here's my crib. 15:03 Really? They were just like playing jokes on each other, like pranking each other. It's like they would talk at like one of them would be talking about other things while the other two would be messing with them in the background was what that broadcast was. And one of the things is one of the guys kept doing this like a valve release, which was really loud. Like you could release this valve and it was just a normal like procedure that they would do. But it was like this loud bang every time you would release this valve. And so they'd be sitting there talking and they do release the valve and they'd be like, and like startling them, you know? And so this, this whole 15:32 broadcast happens, everything's whatever, it's fine, whatever, right? Nobody watches it. Nobody cares. Nobody listens. Okay. They, they are now in the air for 56 hours in the flight, uh, headed towards the moon. Uh, and while, uh, out of the blue, they hear this explosion. And so everybody thinks, uh, Oh, it's this guy playing this prank with that fuel release or that valve release that thing again. But, uh, he's like, swear that wasn't me. I didn't do anything there. 15:59 So they start checking all the gauges, checking to see what's going on. They realize that their oxygen gauges are all like just plummeting. And so this is where we get uh the famous line. They uh transmit there's a transmission that gets sent back and he says, Houston, we have a problem. And Houston is like, OK, what's the problem? And they say, hey, all of our oxygen lines are rapidly dropping. And we we just heard an explosion. And Houston's like, 16:29 it's probably fine. You're probably okay. We're not going to send you to the eye doctor or anything. Just don't worry about it. Everything's fine, uh but like what do you, I mean, what's the other option is turn around? Well, yeah, yeah, you could turn around because they've got thrusters on there so they could reverse course. But what they say is like, we got it. We're to have to take like a diagnostic of what's going on and figure out what's happening here. So they started doing, they sent up a bunch of tests. They start doing all these tests long for short. Eventually what they're able to discover is they see 16:59 uh some sort of gas that is venting into space from the main part of ship. So I'll show you a diagram of this actual model. So it was made up of a couple segments. So you have the actual lunar lander, which is the part that looks almost like a spider that you see in all those fake studio footage from Apollo 11. And then you see the command module. So during the actual flight, they were in the command module. uh 17:29 you see that that little cone in the middle. That's where they were. That's where they were. They were sitting in the command module behind it is the service module and so there they have the actual engine and then this big box that has oxygen tanks, water, all the just different services that keep them alive. I support systems and okay that and within there, there are a few large oxygen tanks that have more than enough oxygen to get them to the moon and back uh and what had happened here is one of those oxygen takes blew up 17:58 uh and started venting oxygen out into space uh and also damaging a bunch of the other components within the service module. And so what they end up discovering after running a bunch of tests to start to figure out what's really going on is they're down to one oxygen tank. So oxygen is going to run out in the service or in this command module very quickly. Also, uh their water lines are damaged and their temperature control system is damaged. So temperature is going to begin dropping. 18:28 very soon as well. Sure. 18:32 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like we really look it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk we have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode. Tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 19:06 So ah they really back to Houston to try to figure out what the best course of action is going to be here because this is a long trip to get to the moon and back right. ah How long does it take? I believe is a three day trip one way uh and so they are fifty six hours into this trip. So they're close to the moon at this point. They're two days in to the trip and so really they kind of have a decision to make. Do they turn around to the pull pull you turn turn on the thrusters and try to make it back? 19:36 What they end up deducing there is that with the amount of fuel that they've got, they probably wouldn't make it back to the earth uh within enough time. And so they're going to have to come up with something a little bit more creative to actually get them back there. So the people back in Houston are doing all these calculations nonstop trying to figure out how are we going to get them back here. And they end up deciding to do uh the, like, guess, colloquial term for this is like a slingshot method. And so what they're going to do 20:05 is they're going to take them ah to the moon slingshot around the back of the moon and use the moon's gravity to propel them back towards the earth and then it's going to shoot them back and then they'll be able to turn the fuel back on. And so what you can see in here is the different parts where they can actually turn around if they're going to turn around and they've passed it okay and so they have to okay. So if we're are we at nominal to yellow coasts that word is that where we're at 20:33 I don't know where they're at in this. I don't know if this is from this exact event. I believe so okay, em and so they have to actually make it to the moon at this point and swerve around the backside of the moon and then get slingshot it back to earth. If they if they want any shot of making it here, the problem is I don't understand why they don't have enough fuel. If they're going to go to the moon, well there comes a point where you're not actually burning any fuel anymore. You're coasting 20:59 all the way to the moon and that's what nominal to coast is yeah. CIC you're the gravitational pull of the moon to pull you in versus actual fuel burn okay, ah and so what they can do is they can use essentially the same concept where then they will use the gravitational pull the moon to shoot themselves around the back side of the moon, shoot back to earth and catch the gravity of the earth and then they would only have to use fuel in that middle line there okay to get them back into earth. ah 21:27 The problem is they don't have enough oxygen for this right or the whole thing before and so they say okay. Well, what we're to have to do is we're going to have to crawl into the actual um lander module and so the what the lander so the little spider part lunar module yeah yes ah and so the lander module that's what it's called. It's a lunar lander 21:55 don't get out of here. Tim, one of us believes that we did this. I do too. I believe we did this. I just think that we saw something we should have. I just think we got there and we're like oh, we weren't supposed to we land on the moon and we saw the lizard eating the cheese. There it is. I contest. Well, yeah, I don't roll your eyes at me. Tim, we're twenty minutes into this. have twenty minutes left. 22:25 Okay, so so uh they make they start on this trip and they crawl into the lunar lander and they have they have more oxygen in the lunar lander. Is that what no, so the interesting thing about the lunar lander is there's two days oxygen supply nowhere near enough supply to get them back to earth. They do have their suits in their their walking suits to like actual go out and do uh their moon walks, but there's not days worth of oxygen within those suits. 22:55 There are a couple extra like personal oxygen tanks in the lander module as well, but there's not it. The long story is there's not enough oxygen. There's right enough for two days and some extra oxygen. There's also not enough food. There's just an there's not enough food, not enough water. This is a bad situation all around and there's also the the temperature control system is not going to last long enough. So they're going to have to get in those suits. So well, they they they 23:24 I thought about getting in the suits, but the problem with that is that would be too hot. They were afraid they would overheat in these suits, which is interesting to me. I feel like it'd be. I feel like you could retrofit those suits in some way either freeze to death or be a little uncomfortable. a little too hot. 23:42 I hate just being so stuffy. It's just a little too hot. thing about being cold is you can always put on more layers, but the thing about being hot, you know, is that it's like you got to take off. All you got to do is keep taking off layers and eventually you run out of layers. So I'm saying yeah. So uh so they then uh they they're in this lunar module and they have to try to figure out, how are we going to survive? They know they don't have enough oxygen, but there are these 24:10 little components that they have in both sets of both modules where that can help grant them a little bit more oxygen. They're not really tanks, but they're like filter filtration systems that will help modulate the CO2. Right. The problem is in for some, for whatever reason in the lander, it's this big round component, but in the uh actual control module is the square box thing. 24:40 Sure. And so they couldn't transfer them between the two. And so they were going to run out of it in the lander. uh And this is what is considered the first hack ever is the which is very strange to me. They had to from whatever items that they could find on both the lander and the control module, create their own little component that would actually fit to modulate the CO2. 25:09 for them to be able to survive within the ship or within the lander module. And so there was a crew back in Houston that was doing all the math and looking through everything that they had and saying, okay, well, you can pull this wire from this thing because we don't really need that. You can pull this shell from over here and we're going to put them together and they were just kind of walking them through how to build a new co to component to help them survive. That's crazy. Yeah. And so and this of course took hours and uh 25:36 but they managed to figure this out, and so I think a lot of lessons were learned on this trip because ah they learned that they needed a lot better redundancy plans because this is like yeah we're we're on the razor razor razor's edge with this whole trip ah and so how many astronauts have died from non explosions? Do we know like obviously like while they were on a mission yeah like obviously like the challenger is a different situation yeah, but like 26:07 Do we know? Is that a good question? That's a good question. Yeah, let's find out twenty one. I've died wow for accidents, during missions, but I bet a lot of those. bet those are included in the I bet that includes the numbers of yeah, so in seventy one there was a soya soyas so yes. Is that how you pronounce that? I don't know eleven where all the crew members died because of depressurization. Okay, there was a challenge or explosion 26:35 and then there was the Columbia that disaster right and so that was, mean that's the majority of it. Apollo one, there was a fire on a launch pad test that they were in there and three of them were killed. A cosmonaut died on reentry, which is essentially a fire. would say um and then yeah, but that's, that's, that's what I'm wondering. Those kinds of things like the depressurized thing because 27:05 launch failures are different than yeah him reentering and dying. That's what I'm wondering those guys. Yeah, we've but like there was that movie where the astronaut floats off into space. Has that ever actually happened? Have we ever lost someone to space? I don't know. Actually, I don't think I have 27:24 have we lost any Astros to space? I mean this is yes, some have died in space, but I don't I don't know if anyone were like died during a space walk because that like would be the worst way to go where you're just floating away from the space station stuff. Yeah, and you just you're just because eventually I think you're you probably 27:52 would lose pressurization before you would lose oxygen. You think so? Yes, in the suit. Yeah, I think at a certain point your head would probably just pop. Okay, what a way to say that buddy. There's fourteen year olds to listen to this chill. Okay, sorry. Oh my gosh, I had with a horror movie that you just 28:14 Okay, well, sorry to bring that down. That made me so mad. We have ten minutes left. 28:23 Okay, so golly they they put together with game be like the space monsters would get you like what do you like freaking? Why would I say? Why would I just lie? We lied when we said we went to the moon. None of it matters. Sorry, sorry. You would you would get very sad and you would die from it. 28:44 Yeah, you die of the sadness of missing your family. Say that out there. I go, you die of the sadness and also stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay, so so it's taken a couple of hours to build a component to regulate the oxygen in the thing. Yeah, yeah, the co2 specifically carbon dioxide. Yeah. And so what's what's interesting? Yeah, this is largely described as the first hack and this was interesting reading into this because 29:13 a couple of years ago. mean, it's the first hack, but I'm still out here. Oh my gosh. A couple of years ago, like everybody started calling things hacks. Yeah. Uh, and I remember a lot of people being annoyed cause like, that's not a hack. Like you're just breaking stuff and calling it a hack, but it's interesting because this is, uh, this is regarded as the first hack, but it wasn't like it genuinely was like they just took a bunch of stuff and MacGyvered it together to get it to work. Um, and 29:42 I think I also had always just kind of assumed like hacking was like breaking into a system and like getting it to do something you wanted to do. That's like you're not authorized to allow it to do well. I think in the technological space hacker was short for hijacker, but we stopped using the word hijacker. Was it? Is it really yeah because you're hijacking the system, you're taking control of another system. That's what that would be. 30:12 and I think we just shortened it to hacker as then you hacked in. No hack is not shortening. I'm not saying it's short of hijacker. I'm saying we instead of calling it hijacker yeah, it's not like we were like oh, that's too long. Let's just call him hacker yeah interesting hijack is a combination of the words Hitchin Jack and it's from people stealing horse horses. Yes or sitting a car. They would hitch and Jack a car and hijack is putting that together. 30:41 Hack comes from the term Hackney, Hackney, which was a horse that was easy to ride and available for hire. But I don't understand why that would end up becoming hack. Interesting. I don't know. Maybe you're right. Interesting. I don't know. Oh, my gosh. Just Google this. And that's so interesting. Oh, wow. I just looked it up. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. It's called the first person I know. It's in Jack's because it's near the horses. 31:15 So anyway uh 31:32 you do that stuff all time. First of all, you cannot do pops like that. It's too aggressive. You do that you pop into that microphone. I never, I've I've never, if you let these episodes go over an hour, you start popping. I'm telling you what I've never once popped. There's not been a single pop hitch and jack sounds like a really cool trendy bar that would open. Yeah, that does actually so hey hitch and jack. 32:02 No, give me your other hand. You psycho. What are we gonna? What are you? We like? Yes, I thought you were gonna high five. Yeah. Why would I go like? Because this is the easier hand at this one. gotta like reach up underneath this thing. We, we, what are you trying to do? You don't know how to do anything, man. You're like I five too slow. 32:29 Oh, here I am. 32:34 That's how you talk, dude. Just high five me, just high five. That's okay, I'll it. Just high five me. Oh yeah, so it's it's called, well, it's pretty crazy because it's called a high five because it's a combination of like how high your hand is, it's five fingers. 32:56 it's like if you hold your five fingers really high, that's why they call it a high five. That's pretty cool. So anyway, that's what you do. Thanks for that genuine laughter. I'm so happy to be here. So okay, so they need to hack. They've they've literally taken pieces from different components. Yes and just 33:25 force the tour. Okay, force it or and that's pretty crazy that there's just nerds on the ground being like okay, yeah, yeah, just pull this cable, pull this cable, do this thing together. You know, like that's wild yeah and yeah, yeah, that is wild that they have like a that deep of an understanding of what is up there and they also probably have the other eleven there. You know, I'm talking about like they're maybe but but they're like they're different and so it's 33:51 they're there, but it's not like this is like you've got four Honda Accords and you'd be like that's true. That's true, I'm sure like if like you know if you got a ninety six Honda Accord and you have my Honda Accord, the steering wheel is still a steering wheel. I mean, I guess you know saying like yeah like some of the essential some of the hones are probably I don't think they've changed them that much. Yeah, that's quite true. That's yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not a rock. It's what year is your Honda Accord? I don't have a Honda Accord or your civic. That's my bad. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, two thousand four 34:21 I'm really glad that you drew this distinction there before answering the question. I'm really glad that you wasted a whole forty seconds on. don't have an accord. I have a civic. Civic is cooler. So sitting is a little bit more punk rock, so they were around the moon and when they got her, how does that, how do who did the calculations for that because this is a did they calculate that before like they were like okay, okay, yeah, so that's a good question. So they did have calculations for that and okay, that's what I'm wondering because when they plan the route yeah, they plan this situation where it's like okay, 34:49 If we need to abort we can abort here if we have a fuel issue we can abort here But what we're going to do is we're to get to this part We're going to coast catch the gravity of the moon and then we're going to come into orbit the lander is going to drop and the lander is going to land the Control module is going to stay in orbit and what's actually pretty crazy about the plan is when they take off They have to time it exactly to where they're going to meet the orbit because they dock back on that control module and then the control module goes back to earth ah and so 35:18 there's a lot of math that goes into this and it's pretty impressive. The thing is when all this happened, they got thrown off the regular would be if we ever did it. They got I don't know. I'm trying to be the guy now. I'm trying to be your I'm trying to I'm trying to a loss my brain worm, so that's what I'm saying. Yours died, so I put one in so they got thrown off the trajectory. So now they had to I mean look at that. You're telling me that that like look at this graph right now. Both those circles are flat 35:47 they don't look very round to me proof. Yeah, all so their idea is that we can over so they're going to enter orbit of the moon anyway. Yes, yes, yes, and so is then they're going. Okay, instead of orbiting and actually following around once we hit this part of the orbit, you're going to gas it yeah and then and then you essentially reverse this where you you have the rest is engaged until you can coast back to earth and then you're going to catch earth's gravity and yeah and then 36:15 the coast in which how far I mean like the moon is in Earth's gravity. Yes, you know and so like that's how far the gravitational pull of the earth is. That's crazy. Yes, yeah, it's pretty nuts and so essentially yeah. You just think about how like gra I just yeah, that's nuts. The gravitational pull the effort it takes to fight the gravitational pull. You know saying like I mean dude the friggin 36:43 think about it. You're stronger than the moon right now. The moon can't do that. You know I'm means to try to do this for thousands of millions of years. 36:59 can't do that. That's why I say in the gym, okay, mood can't do that. Lunker alarm, Lunder alarm, this guy's stronger than the moon. I whatever is stronger than the moon out of context quotes. So they just put me saying out of context quotes. It's just me doing it in different like out of context. 37:28 It's just me doing it in different ways and it's just that you gotta say what I don't in there. It's just mine out of context quotes. 37:39 So they do the sleep shot. I saw that lizard eat the cheese. It's like another one you can use. It's just you saying out of context quotes over and over again. And then the weird lizard thing. Wow, I got to keep listening for that weird lizard thing. 38:01 wow, I sure should listen to this hour and a half long episode, so I could find out what that lizard thing was all about. So they're all the way back to earth. We're engineering your your attention span. We're just putting out a contest quotes in the intro to get you to listen further into the episode. That's the whole idea. So they play the intro twice so it can fit all these in. This is a really long intro. 38:31 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your lord and savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 39:00 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 39:28 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 39:52 Did you hear? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 40:06 and then you're going to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 40:16 I don't want to be. I hate there's skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah, you too premium leave all this in that 40:30 because the point where now they're going to have to eject from the service module. Okay, get back to earth and so when they get back to her, you're saying that when they hit the moon, they're going to get rid of the command module part and then they're going to take that back to back almost all the way to earth. Okay, there's a point where to re enter. They cannot have that on on their configuration anymore. So what has happened to the rest of these things? Do we just let him go to space? Is what they're out there somewhere really? Yeah, and so we actually and I believe 41:00 this is a real shot that they they captured from on board of the module after they released. So they decoupled and that's when they saw like the extent of the damage. Oh wow and so they were like dang. We could have died. uh We could have been a part of that explosion, but instead we survived and now so do we have other images of this stuff floating around in space? Not that I'm aware of your sing yeah, and so what's interesting is like there's a lot of trying. I it's it in it, but I guess it becomes like Bigfoot where it's like it's out there. Yeah, I mean space is a big place 41:30 but we do have a lot of trash that's just kind of floating around the earth, a lot of stuff in orbit as it is starting to become a more common thing where our satellite isn't there a tesla in orbit there is didn't he do that yes like didn't he just think it's an orbit though. I think he shot it outside orbit. I think it's just floating across the in that crazy where she's like yeah. I think I'm gonna as a promo. I'm just gonna litter in space yeah. 41:55 Yeah, I like the idea that somewhere along the line because that thing, I mean, it's probably gonna last a long time. ah I like the idea that years and years from now, some new civilization propped up somewhere and that Tesla just crashes into kills. Whatever life is on that planet. All of the Yeah, the dinosaurs got wiped out by an ancient Tesla. I was more thinking it was like they were like, what is this? 42:24 No, how did this get here and they're trying to figure out how it like how we figured out? No, whole planet destroyed. It's because of the battery. The lithium ion batteries are explosive and then as they die like these billionaires, it's crazy. They know what billionaires are big fan. So this should be an Irish pub. 42:49 So by this point ah this went from something where people didn't really care to the whole world like really, really was interested in what was happening here. Yeah, because it's like these guys could. I mean it's it's the it's the submarine. Yeah, exactly. It's the whole thing of like these guys could not make it. Yeah. Breaking news. Tragedy. That's that's the news to the seventies. That's exactly the seventies and eighties is kid kidnapped. Is it yours? Look around your living room. Look around your living room. It might be your well. It's somebody's yeah. If you see your kid could have been yours. m 43:19 Yeah. So telling up at nine o'clock, make sure to tell your kids could have been you. Turns out the news anchor was kidnapping kids for years for the news interest for content. 43:32 that's crazy. I like the idea of an influencer who's covering the news and making it happen. I mean that's nightcrawler. That's the premise of nightcrawler. You're right. That is a movie. That's a movie that tom hanks was in 43:49 yeah, it's tom Hanks, the go twister, you you're running out of time, but I cut you off. Okay, shoot. So now this is the thing we're all over the world, like literally all over the world. People are watching and tuning. Yeah, I know what's happening to them. We even the Russians are like go America, kinda. I don't know about Russia, but I do know like we have records of people like throughout India and like in Australia, like where they're holding these like wire vigils. Oh, like to like like 44:18 route them back to earth basically, and what's interesting is they then not if there wasn't enough challenges to begin with coming back into earth is not an easy thing yeah, because if you just go straight in you're going to burn up in the atmosphere, and so there's an angle you have to approach where you're not going to get hot or too hot, but there's also an angle where if you are I mean it's the same thing like if you're climbing a mountain you have to go back and forth yeah you know you can't the most efficient way and easiest way to get up the mountain is to 44:47 to swerve back and forth instead of like people will post pictures all the time. Like why is this road so curvy instead of just straight up and it's like oh because you're dumb but also but also if you it's like that, but if also you didn't do that you blew up. Well, that's what I'm saying is that like the energy you know yeah would be like the the energy that would be pushing against you. Yes, it's so much stronger if you go head on than if you have an angle. Yeah, it's like when you drop something in a pool 45:15 If you watch, it'll go like this through the waves to like down to the bottom instead of just. Yeah, you know, I mean, if that's how air works. That's how. Yeah. And so but the problem is if you angle that too far there, they were trying to angle the approach to where they would land in the Pacific. But if you angle that too far, you would hit the water and it would start to bounce on the water like a like you're skipping rocks and then it would blow up. And so they had to get the math just right where we came in at the right angle. 45:44 but they're coming in in a damaged module and so it's like their ability to pilot this thing was it doesn't have a parachute that once we get to a certain it does it does but your angle you still have to get that angle right yeah because when you're coming in from that kind of altitude space a little being just a few degrees off you're in a completely different part of the world yeah so they saw to get the math right but the problem is the control surfaces were so severely damaged 46:11 where literally like you could turn the, I, they're not technically yolks or joysticks or whatever they were, but you could turn the yoke one way and it would turn the other way. able to steer. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. you turn, you turn things one way and it goes the other way and same thing. Like every direction is going the opposite direction because so severely damaged. And so they actually had a thing where two of them were controlling this and they were responsible for different directions. And so one of them was looking up and down. The other one was looking side to side. 46:41 and because it was so complicated to steer this thing to get it in the right and one of them was just sitting there two people steer this thing and then one of them is just like I hope we find the bunny ears for the broadcast because they break at each other. remember they're doing all the Nixon's thing. No, he's doing bunny ears on them. He's like he's like oh look at these losers. He's doing impressions. I am not a crook. You know I was like trying to get moved like 47:08 that is something that they talk about is like they were. They threw out this whole trip. We're like joking around with each other, messing with each other. He like still hits that release. I thought it was still funny. I thought it was a funny time to do that and so they come into earth guys. Look 47:32 The lizard eating cheese. It's hard to believe that's up here. And so there's a segment during reentry for about four minutes where because of the amount of heat, the communications cut off. And so Houston can't hear from the actual module. And this is a normal thing. This is expected, but at about four minutes you expect to be able to hear from them again. And so the time for reentry came, this is on every channel on TV. Everyone watching it. 48:01 Everyone's waiting to hear from them. Four minutes go by, nothing. Four and a half minutes go by, nothing. Five minutes go by, nothing. Six minutes go by, nothing. ah And then finally, what happens is they've got the cameras out in the Pacific Ocean somewhere on a boat, just scanning the sky, trying to get a visual of this thing. And then they see the module with the big red parachute floating down. And at the same time where they capture it on camera to see the module, they get the first radio transmission back from them saying like, we've made it through, like we're 48:31 in our final descent. ah So they get there, they get the boat out, they pull them out of this. And what's wild is they had such a lack of food, it was so cold, uh and they had such little water, they were drinking two liters, or not two liters, two milliliters a day, was there allotment of water for each of them? And they had no food. They exhausted all their food. And so they each lost about 30 pounds in this return trip, which is like three days. 48:59 And so like the situation was so dire that they like it's hard to imagine how you can lose that much weight that yeah. But they survived. They made it back. And now we have that return module uh is in a museum in Kansas City or not Kansas City but in Kansas. Oh wow. And so that makes sense. This makes sense that it's in Hutchinson Kansas. Yeah. Are you sure it's in Hutchinson Kansas. Yeah I'm sure. 49:25 why I mean this picture is why is it in Hutchinson, Kansas? There's a space museum there. Oh okay, yeah, it's kind of like so it's kind of like answer. My question at all right. Well, okay, cool cool. I was gonna make sure that I'm not the dumb one here. So why is it a hutch? Well, there's a space museum there. Yeah, I can see the space museum Tim. I'm looking at a picture of it right now. Oh yeah, wow, there's a space museum in Hutchinson. Oh, that's why they put it there. There's a space museum there. Somebody there was a space museum there. 49:51 No, I don't know. Hey, why is there a? Why is that in Hutchinson, Kansas? Because that's where the city's museum is and the space museum is in hutchinson, Kansas, because there's just a guy there who owned a lot of space. Definitely put it in. Look, I think that that's possible that it was just somebody famous there or somebody rich there. He was like, like space. Let's do it. It's also possible that let's see here there could there is hutchinson, Kansas, where that giant painting is as well. Is that hutchinson 50:20 I don't know. I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't know where that is. You know what talking about. If you drive to Denver on that on seventy yeah, there's a gigantic the world's largest one of those like you know pull over. Look at the world's largest painting yeah, it's there yeah, you know now that I'm like thinking about it. I think um they're one of the astronauts is from Kansas. I don't know if he's from Hutchinson now 50:49 Yeah, I don't know why it's in hudges and that's interesting. Someone I was really in there. What really happened is someone just funded it and yeah, that's how that happens. It's just like in over them park. We have a nine eleven memorial and over them park. Why is that there like it? What? How did this end up in overland park? We went nine eleven memorial yeah and there's on the highway. There's signs that say nine eleven memorial. This exit is very weird and so but yeah, it's just somebody funded it. Okay yeah, 51:17 and whoever I mean we was like I got to get that thing. I don't know which which shuttle do we have in La the yeah. I don't know. I don't know which one's in La. Look it up. There's a shuttle in La. I forgot to put space shuttle Los Angeles. I bet we could find it that's because there's a space in endeavor. That's right. Yeah and it's like standing up and then they've built the building around it pretty cool. That is neat. That is very neat. Can you go inside it? I don't know. We need to go. We need to go 51:47 Yeah, that's where you know anyway. Cool, that's wild yeah, so they survived. They made it back. This is where the Houston. have a problem came from yeah. They actually said Houston. There's been a problem, but the movie said Houston. We have a problem and so that's what's famous yeah, so yeah. Thanks Tom Hanks. Wow, flubbed the line. Honestly, bite of it and Houston. We have a problem. 52:16 Tom. The line is and he's like you know what I don't care. I have only drinking two milliliters of water to prepare for this role. I have starved myself to try to do this. The line is now used to we have a problem and director who've directed for us comp who's from Hutchinson Kansas is why this is there and who also painted the largest painting 52:41 This is a podcast that we just talked about how they went to the moon. This is a podcast full of misinformation. Is there anything else you want to say? No, I feel good. All right, fiddle off then hey, thanks for please share this episode. This is a good episode. Please share this episode with somebody that would help us a lot. Also check out the dear moon project. There's a guy who's like wishes and a bunch of artists like Steve Aoki to the dark side of the moon. That'll really inspire them to make exciting fun art. What a weird like rich people don't know how to be rich. That's making me mad. 53:10 All right, rich people just don't know how to be rich anymore. They used to build railroads. They spill libraries and now they're like, let's send state Steve Aoki to the moon. Huh? Anyway, join us on Patreon and we'll see you next week for things I learned last night.


The Apollo 13 mission began as a routine trip to the moon. At first, many people barely paid attention. NASA had already reached the moon twice by then. But everything changed when an explosion put three astronauts in danger. What started as a quiet mission soon became one of the most dramatic rescue efforts in space history. The Calm Start … Read More

He Told Her He’d Make Her Dog Immortal | Sarma Melngailis

11-25-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 man. What's up? Have you ever heard of Sarma Milngalas? You think I'm dressed like Kim possible? We were just arguing about this. She wears the same thing in every episode. Yeah, she does not every episode. That's true. Actually, yeah, there are a couple. Oh, that's what I did. That's right. I was like, oh, man, cartoon characters always were the same thing and Tim goes, not every cartoon character. Just so you know what episodes going to be like today, Tim's in a mood. 00:27 Jared told me an Tim's in a mood and I'm and I'm fine with it. Tim's in a mood and I'm not just Tim's in a mood. I'm not in a mood at all. Roll the intro. 00:40 Green hair little girl opens a raw vegan place just sliced vegetables. Oh my gosh. Thank you for your genuine laughter. Make that the out of context quote. That's crazy. Thank you for your genuine laughter. I'm going to say that during shows. Thank you for your genuine laughter. That's very nice. Things I learned last night. 01:10 That's a laugh roll it again 01:15 so I'm going to try not to laugh today. Now you know what it is is. I try to edit clips for our show and half of the clips are you going so anyway, this is what they did and I can't I am not fun here. I'm happy to be you're not having fun. You're handing it up because you think that's what we want on social media. You're like oh they like when I laugh. I'm going to laugh. No, I you're like a little. I couldn't care less about social media just straight up lying to the negative comments and see if I care. We do have there's that kid 01:45 you keep saying that and there's a there's a there's a kid who follows us on YouTube yeah, who I think is disliking every video and leaving negative comments. Yeah Ezra leave the negative comments, but quit disliking the videos. I figured it out. I was like man, we have a hater who's disliking already that actually hurts the algorithm. Don't do that, but you could leave it kind of negative comment. Yeah, it shout out to you Tyler Cox. Wait, sorry, I can't laugh. 02:14 I don't laugh. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, 02:41 it does kind of seem like this might be a young lab first second. I was genuinely ask. Is that not pink? No, that's not pink, not at all. Okay, I'm a little I'm very so for those listening uh and this is here's what happens is that Tim shows me stuff too early into the episode and I don't know if we can make fun of this person or not. Yeah, you can. I don't know the story. I can yeah you can make all right. Well, she looks like ah the kid from Toy Story, the bad kid 03:11 and with stereotypical green hair yeah like you know, like this is this is probably a two thousand six picture yeah, definitely high school definitely her rebellious eye liner smokey eye one of the one side of the lip pierced and then side of the head shaved green hair on top yeah and that's the only thing and it's not a good quality picture either. This is the one you've got 03:38 No, I just went and grabbed more, but I will say her hair honestly looks like you remember in Rugrats Angelica's Barbie. Yeah, yeah, honestly looks a lot like a joke, but this is what see how he just laughs through the end of his senses. Okay, so you're no joke is here. She is an adult. Okay, much more of a normal, normal person. Yeah, here's another one. Oh, she's got like a harrowing story. We're about to hear 04:08 she's in a white chair in front of a white backdrop and she looks kind of sad. This is a documentary shot for sure. Tim, did you set me up to make fun of somebody who's got a bad story? No, okay, no, we're to find out something really bad happened to this lady. Nothing really bad happened to her. Well, I mean, I guess that's kind of technically some bad things happened to her, but it's not like it's not like you're going to feel guilty or anything. I mean, you might a little bit, but okay, 04:36 It depends how empathetic you are and it depends how much you could like overlook certain things. So she she was born in nineteen seventy two long story short, her dad, her mother was a chef, her dad worked in like. my God, you were saying you I was trying to turn my ears up and I was turning years up yeah okay her 05:05 her mother was a shaft and her dad was a physicist at MIT, so he lived in her mother was a what a chef. Okay, you put a tea at the end of it, but my mother was a clap to her mother was a. What are you? What what I said? You put a tea at the end of chef and you went yeah cleft, so you added another letter, another letter took one away at another letter. Yeah, whatever. Sorry, I can't laugh. Her dad was a physicist, 05:33 the Physicists, Massachusetts Institute of Technology or MIT as they call it okay, and so she kind of grew up. No one calls it that she got. She kind of go all it. Massachusetts Institute of Technology. She kind of grew up in like her parents were well to do highly educated. Her mom was like a chef at like a high end restaurant, and so it was like they were someone done like a little parody play called well to do about nothing. 06:02 but what's the other I do about nothing what say the much I do about nothing. Yeah, thanks, I because you said well to do about nothing. I was like that's what it's called. Isn't it because I couldn't remember yeah yeah sorry, get laugh. No, I don't know and I don't know. don't know what people are like. Well, you're selling to know to laugh. No, go back and listen to a of episodes and ask you ask yourself if those laughs are genuine because I know Tim's laugh and sometimes I'm on my walk and I listen to it I go 06:31 That was a fake laugh. That's not even. Here's the thing though. That's how I am. Like just in general, like in a social environment, like if I'm being social with somebody, I'm going to fake laugh at you. Like I feel like that's a generous thing to do. Fake laugh at people. I don't need your fake laughs. Yeah. You make me authentic laugh. 06:52 that put that on a birthday card. Thanks. Wow. You make me authentic laugh signed Tim. I didn't find him. I didn't find an anniversary card in the street outside of my house yesterday and it was run over. There's a tire bark on it. We don't get on our fridge. Yeah. What does it say? It says happy anniversary and the person who got the card for someone literally just put their name on it. They didn't write anything in the card. It's literally just the 07:21 the printed happy anniversary and their name in it. Yeah. And whoever got it, I guess, was like, I don't need this card and just threw it in the street. Wow. And then ran it over and now it's on my fridge. Weird. uh Sorry, can't laugh. So her parents were very like well-to-do parents. Yeah. Very like... Where did she live? Massachusetts? Massachusetts, yeah. OK. Boston area. ah And they were very like... 07:49 prim and proper like you're going to get educated. You're going to do well in school. You're going to do all these things and so that's why she went off. That's why she did yeah yeah she's like no. I'm edgy. I'm cool. I have we talked about punk bands on the show before. I don't know how crazy it is that these punk bands are in their parents garage being like I hate my mom. It's like dude. Your mom is making pizza bites in the other room like my mom. 08:18 I so mean to me to don't I never knew my dad and your dad's like I pay for the electricity for this. I bought you all those guitar, but bought you a tire, besting in your kids artistic dreams for them to turn that art into an angst piece against you is what I'm saying. 08:37 but it's you're telling your dad. It's a caricature. I'm not. This isn't really the power structures of the home. I'm fake. I'm fake angry at my parents. Yeah, I'm hamming it up for the camera dad. Don't worry. I'm it's a that wasn't real. That was real. uh Okay, maybe that that was a little fake. It was a real laugh, but it was a little. was a we're going to find out who you really are this episode. I'm determined to do it. 09:07 I didn't really realize it was fake. You said you called me out. was like those real. Then I thought about it. was like yeah, maybe it was exaggerated a little bit. Wow, maybe I did exaggerate that laugh a little bit. Okay, but it's okay. No anyway, pump in the garage, all the stuff. So she went angsty because her parents are very like you're going to do with those certain things. Yes, yeah. And I mean it was, it was a short lived high school phase because then she went on to let's see what school is this here. The Wharton School of Economics. Oh, okay. She got a tree together. 09:36 Yeah, so she got a degree in economics and then she went uh and worked at Bear Stearns in New York City in ninety six and then Bain capital in Boston. ah Bear Stearns, the place where they sing while you eat. What are you talking about? Lamberts Lambers doesn't sing what you eat. No, let us throws rolls. What is what? What? It's very clearly not the place where they sing while you eat. I thought that was funny. What is the place? I'm not allowed to laugh. 10:06 What is the place where you there's a place in New York that like people who are trying to be on? No, yeah, there's a place in New York where people sing songs and people pay money to go watch them sing and I can't remember what that's called. I know what it's called. It's on the tip of my a somebody remind me. No, it's like there's is it Carolins on Broadway? Is that what that is anyway where that you've not seen this 10:36 Maybe it's because I'm a theater kid that pops up in my tick tock, but they literally the servers, their waiters, they'll take your order. They'll put the food in and then they will literally stand on the tables and just sing musical numbers. It's pretty, it's fun. I've genuinely never heard of this. They're really good. They're like because they're all trying to be on Broadway. Interesting. And so they're all legitimately really great singers. Yeah, and it's fun. Interesting. But clearly Bear Stearns was not that that was the bit 11:05 Okay. But you would have had to known. I would have had to know about. Yeah, it was a, here's a whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I get it. I get it. get it. You want to try again? I can fake laugh at it. 11:17 No, just tell the story. So that she works. uh 11:29 so that she goes to Bain Capital works in private equity is Bain Capital, the place where they see. See that's a genuine one. That's a good one. You know what it is? It's during our phone calls. I hear your genuine laugh yeah and that's where I go. Oh, that was a real because we say stuff on our phone calls. uh He's really funny and yeah yeah anyway, our our 11:54 highest tier in patreon. We we share record. If you join us on our highest tier patron though we do, we do routinely hang out once a month with our twenty dollar tier and in December it's an all patron hang out so five dollar point dollar, whatever it is, come hang out yeah. So any tear can get it. When is this episode drop this episode comes out Thanksgiving week? Oh hey, happy Thanksgiving. I hope you're thinking yeah and we don't know the date for that yet, but once that's announced 12:23 Yeah, you'll know by the time this is out. We'll put it on the screen ah and so come hang out. Yeah, very cool anyway, so she's working in private cat, private equity. Sure, you know, you love the private equity heads and she's doing it and she realizes I hate this. This sucks. I hate this career. I don't like math. I don't like numbers. I don't like money. Well, she's like, actually do kind of like money and so then she meets this guy named Matthew Kenny 12:52 who ah you might know. ah He is a celebrity chef. You might recognize him. You don't not even in his slightest. Oh interesting. Well, he's a celebrity chef. He does appearances on like a lot of those morning shows for his stuff. Hold on. He's what's her. Is this her? Yeah. What's the little tattoo of it's like a duck? Okay, like a really long beak sure see that 13:22 Yeah, it's super low def. I think we probably could have maybe another image. Just try to figure what the tattoo is, but I love your confidence of it's Martin Luther King. Martin Luther King is what that is. No, I know it's a duck. I do know it's a duck that will come. Do you oh that'll come up later? Yeah. Oh, okay, but Matthew Matthew owns or throughout his career has owned like dozens of restaurants. Okay, I'm New York City big time celebrity chef and they together said hey, let's open up a restaurant together and so 13:52 she never having done this sure it's kind of her first venture into a restaurant being a restaurant here, restaurant tour, restaurant tour yeah and a restaurant tour is the person who owns it. A restauranteer is the one who pulls the strings, standing up there making all the servers do their song and dance dance dance. Good enough and I'll let you go to broadway um 14:22 all right. I'm done with that bit. I'm done with that bit. Tim Tim just think stuff is funny. So in 2001 they opened up a restaurant called commissary yeah and it was decent fine name yeah yeah. Honestly, I don't like yeah, I'm sorry it's like it's like it's like the same as being like cafeteria yeah yeah. You know yeah yeah it's a little because the commissary is what the what's called on a base yeah yeah and that yeah I don't or in prison 14:52 true. So yeah, I don't know what they were trying to like being a person that thanks for listening on your iPads in jail and uh thanks for watching on YouTube. When you got out, we get a lot of YouTube. It feels like most of our fans at this point might have been through the prison system, which is pretty well. It's crazy that our fans are either prisoners or homeschoolers. That is pretty crazy. Very rarely that it's a overlap, but 15:22 I'm happy for it. Some of them pulled off. You know yeah, very rarely, very rarely do prisoners and homeschoolers overlap unless you're the duggars. 15:37 Can we say that? Okay, yeah, they're in prison. They're listening. Yeah, it's funny. We can say it. So they they open their restaurant and they actually start consulting with a guy named Jeffrey Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, Trud, 16:03 Chicharro anyways, I'm sure it matters. This is what he looks like. Oh, this is from a documentary. This is from the same documentary. The other guy is okay. We got to quit because something's up. I like this guy a lot. Yeah, I like him. Is this his house? Yeah, he's very, very rich. Okay, so maybe we shouldn't, but I do background looks like like a hotel. That's like what I'm saying. He lives at his house. Yeah, he shaved his arms. You think so? Look at him. Yeah, it's hard to respect the guy who shaved arms. 16:32 but I will say easy to respect the guy with loafers and no socks and like pants that don't go all the way down like that. They're not capris. They're full like pants, but they're sure ain't to the ankles yet and there's so this guy's rich a little bit of ink. Yeah, so Jeffrey Jeffrey is a right. can't let Tim look at a guy with money too long because he just starts to be like gosh and that polo fits his shoulders weird, which is just perfect guys cut on polo and this 17:01 three pants and it'd be better if his arms were hairy, but gosh, I just love looking at this guy. You know, saying like I just, I just love looking at this guy. You know, if you let Tim look at it like Tim's enamored by power and money and that's rough. I'm not enamored by it. I just, I just think that sometimes rich dudes 17:29 I have good style. Okay, you thought okay, all right, but it's not like rich. Let's see your outfit of the day, not rich young guys. Here's a van shirt that I've had since twenty sixteen. I look a lot like Kim possible today. Actually, okay, keep going. I look, I look a lot like Kim possible today. Stupid so 17:51 not. I'm dressed like impossible. I look a lot like impossible today. 18:01 No, you do look like you still drive delivery for Pickleman's yeah. Yeah, that's the look I'm going for. Actually, you go, it's the tattoos so so they opened it to two thousand one, those scream unemployed here. They opened in two thousand one and it didn't didn't go great and yeah three. They shut it down, so then she starts consulting for Jeffrey Chardrose. She he has a China Grill management company, which 18:31 sounds like okay. does what it sounds like and so they together he's like he's like hey, I love what you guys did because the restaurant that they open was a vegan restaurant and that was very two thousand one very new, very niche yeah, so it didn't hit, but he thought it was an interesting concept and so he's like hey, what's that one downtown called here? Yeah, Cafe Gratitude. That's is that vegan 18:59 I thought so isn't cafe gratitude vegan or is it just vegetarian? ah It was, I think mostly vegan. It's gone now. Is it gone? Yeah, make sense. That's sad. Woke is dead. Sorry, it's gone and it's replaced by a barbecue joint now as crazy. No, so he was like, he's like, think that was the stuff. I mean the vegan stuff was a fad as far as like widespread. Obviously there are there are 19:27 I feel like what happens there's a core group of people who are committed to being vegan yeah either through principle or just through dietary needs yeah and then the fad of it kind of grew into this thing yeah. think there was that bubble has kind of gone down yeah, and I think there was two fads going on at the same time. There was like the moral fad where that's true or in the health fat and then yeah health yeah and then both of those kind of died down at the same time yeah, which is interesting because the two thousand one ah 19:57 commissary was pre that fat that fat was hitting hard twenty fourteen twenty fifteen. Yeah, they were very, very early backing. I know obviously it goes in waves as well, so I mean that maybe there was was there a big vegan push in two thousand one. I don't not that I'm aware of okay like this was very as far as I know there was nobody else doing this and that was why Jeffrey was so interested in this and he was okay. He's like this is a very unique new idea. 20:26 I'd like to invest in it. I think my thing with the vegan stuff, if you choose to do that, you know, whatever. But uh I, there was a gal that my uncle had dated when I was in eighth grade that we were at their house for new years and she made nachos and she did the thing where it's like here, eat this, nachos I made and then you eat them. And then she goes, by the way, that's vegan meat and cheese. Yeah. Surprise. And I was like, I was like, oh, I was wondering why it was so bad. 20:57 I wasn't going to say anything because we don't know you that well. You're just dating my uncle, but these nachos are the worst they ever had in my life and I was very politely being like oh wow, very good love this and then you go by the way it's vegan meat and cheese. Oh, thank they go hard. Now I know why they got this sucks for those reasons and not because you're bad at cooking meat and then I'm going to hurt myself later. Even as an eighth grader, I knew you know yeah, you knew it sucked and 21:27 that's what I don't like. Don't pull a fast one on me. Yeah, yeah, don't trick me into yeah. Don't be like oh, this is or also don't try to convince me it's the same. It's like a it's like a Jesus juke, but with with food yeah, tofu juke. Yeah, exactly, exactly. That's exactly which is like if you like that good. Alex is looking at us like we're making fun of all my friends. Alex is a lot of woke vegan friends. 21:51 It's probably why their marriages are so good. That's why their marriages are so good. It's all the tofu I'm eating in the street. Yeah, these meat eaters are leaving their anniversary cards in the street. 22:05 I like the idea that meat eater. can't decide if we should hard pivot to the right or if we should pivot. I can't decide what we should do, but I do know that Cisco and US foods both deliver tofu to all these places. So he's very interested in their car and they have been kind of plotting together and they say, know, I think the problem why vegan food didn't work the first time we tried it. 22:32 with the commissary. maybe the name commissary. don't think it would attract a lot of people. They said maybe the branding, maybe some of this stuff. But they said honestly what might be the problem is we were cooking it. What if it was raw and vegan? And so they said let's open up a raw vegan restaurant where all the food is raw. 22:55 Thanks for watching our show if you like it. A great way to help out is by being a Patreon supporter. Doing that helps make this show possible, but it also gets a lot of perks for you. You can get every episode a week early ad free. You get access to a Discord where you can meet a lot of other people who love the show and actually hang out with Jaren and I every month on a hangout. And we're also in that Discord chat all the time, hanging, talking with people, talking about episodes and just random stuff in life. It's super fun. 23:18 We do, there's a way to get birthday messages, a free gift, merch discounts in there. So there's a lot of really great reasons to be a Patreon supporter. You get a lot of benefits out of it. And it also makes the show keep happening. So if that sounds great to you, you can go to support.tillin.com or tillin.com slash support, uh or just tillin.com and search around until you find the links uh and become a Patreon supporter. really appreciate you doing that. But if not, right back to the episode, right? 23:46 and Alex. I keep looking at you like. Do you know a lot of vegans yeah yeah? I felt like you would ah 23:57 And got him. And got him. Come on, swallow your coffee, dude. Don't have that in your mouth right now. 24:07 What is raw vegan food? is yeah? I mean it's exactly what sounds like. Is it is it and I'm is it just here's a what are you texting right now? So I was in blood. It just felt like this is a part of the conversation that didn't concern me. It just felt like you were talking to that guy, not me and so I like well, this isn't about me anymore, so 24:31 like what were you doing? Find something that you're sending a text. Yes, you can do that here. No, I can't and I wouldn't know now there is. I can't do that there. Oh, you got a blocked covenant eyes won't let you open your text. You see covenant eyes had a huge leak yeah yikes and the stuff they got leaked, but he always ask Alex about eyes. I listen not to get too involved in the drama stuff, but now you know 25:01 covenant. I you know what covenant eyes is the software that you don't know what covenant eyes is. No, he wasn't as evangelical as us. is vegan friends, so ah he's one of those progressive Christians. ah If you don't know covenant eyes was a software that you could download on your computer. I don't even know how it works now to be honest, but it's a software you could download on your computer that would block websites that you know, but not only block, but like if you went to an inappropriate website, if you bought, if you got through the block somehow, yeah, it would email 25:30 your accountability partner, your if you even like if you even did something even remotely sketchy, it would email your accountability partner with like all your search queries and actually since screenshots to which seems like a little excessive, but yeah, it would do like, I mean it would do what you're thinking, but it would also do like guns and like what else like like our rated movies. If you're looking at like an R rated movie or something like that, like it was like pretty like 25:58 crazy the level of which yeah it would flag things and then uh earlier this year the founder had to bail his son out of jail for inappropriate stuff. Yeah, so 26:14 Yep. What do I know though? What? Anyway, I know so we're talking like raw vegan food, which is is it just a head of lettuce? Is it just well? No, they had a presentation, so here's one of their yeah. They had a presentation, but is it just this is a sandwich? I think is what they call it. I think I think this one. So if you're listening, imagine uh a very fancy restaurants, thirty two dollar zucchini sandwich. So it is like 26:43 very thin slices of zucchini with ridiculously thin slices yeah with with some. I couldn't even tell you I can't. They might be raspberries or they could also be some type of not some kind of vegan spread with a slice of tomato and then more thin slices of zucchini. It's more spread more to man. So a club sandwich, more zucchini on top. three layers of zucchini and then a little garnish on top to make it look 27:11 for the you know to justify the cost of so this whole plate cost the restaurant to make thirty cents and they charged you thirty two dollars for that for sure yeah, but for sure, which is probably why Jeffrey loved this idea. Yeah, of course, I people actually put a second pool in my home. Yeah, the exact uh second pool, so they opened up this restaurant and what is this one called pure food and wine? Okay, 27:38 and it was an interesting little spot. Honestly, the vibe of this and I I like it yeah. It feels like the bar from how I met your mother. I was just going to say that yeah, it's got the stairs on either side and you could yeah. That does really feel like that. Yeah, this should be an Irish pub. It should in a just world. Yeah, this would be an Irish pub yeah, but in the world that we live in and the timeline that we split off into it's a 28:06 raw vegan raw vegan restaurant. And this this concept what America could have been what America could have been if that was an Irish pub. 28:22 but instead we got to let some homegrown live from Boston. 28:33 like it's simultaneously. It's simultaneously pro immigrant, but also his girl 28:46 Like, if- 28:52 that could have been a great Indian restaurant and instead some green hair little girl opens a raw vegan place just sliced vegetables. Oh my gosh, thank you for your genuine laughter. Make that the out of context. That's crazy. Thank you for your genuine laughter. I'm to say that during shows. Thank you for your genuine laughter. That's very nice. Wow. So oh 29:22 uh They opened this restaurant and this one is much more successful. And I think the main reason why it was is they did like a... 29:33 I don't know if this was like a conscious thing, but it was definitely like a almost like a gorilla marketing uh influencer marketing type concept because they just got all the celebrities to love it. Yeah, so celebrities just consistently started showing up and taking pictures here and so that's that's Woody Harrelson for those for those listening. It's what's her name again? Stop Sarma Sarma 29:58 Yeah, that chef guy, the harrelson and toby mac in this picture. He does look like to be back. I don't be honest. I have no idea who that guy is, but he does look like a two thousand four. He looks like he was probably the bachelor at some point or I don't. Yeah, we're talking about him and once you find out who it is, we'll be like, yeah, he looks like he could have been superman in smallville. 30:21 maybe like one of those like see oh speaking of Superman. My wife is so mad and this is for a niche audience as well, but my wife is very mad that Henry Cavill left the Witcher and they just put out this new season, which I would but listen, I only catch. I respect them for it. You respect who Henry Cavill? Here's the thing and they waited so long to put out this new season and then they quit making Man of Steel movies and so this new so Henry Cavill ended up not being Superman in that new movie that came out. 30:51 Oh really? That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so Henry Cavill left and of course if that's your career, of course you leave the witcher yeah to do Superman. Well, is that why he left? I heard that he left because they were departing from the books. Yeah, it's a little bit of both. Yeah, I think it was mostly Superman, mostly a better opportunity. You know, I can be the most iconic superhero character that or no. I mean, I know a lot of people watch Superman, but I'm going to be honest like that's the lamest 31:21 I agree, but it is the most iconic as far as the decades long story that this is like and it's like it's like if you got to play Batman, you're going to go do that right. I guess that's true and so Batman all you think let's just I mean superheroes in general pretty lame. Some of them when you what do you mean some of them? I the idea that this guy is rich and is like I'm a bat is yeah that that's inherently lame, but we've made it cool. Yeah, it's cool. 31:50 Yeah, but it's not the comics, the alternate. I've got a different point man quit going off tangents. I'm saying I've only caught glimpses. They put out the show. I would be furious if they recast the main character of my show for sure for sure with the person like they didn't even try. Yeah, they just got Liam Hemsworth who is not doing it as well. Who is half the size of Henry Cavill and it's just like every shot you see him and it's like 32:20 It's, I don't even watch the show and I go, his shoulders are too narrow. uh 32:26 You know I'm saying he's got a guy with broader shoulders. Genuinely though, okay, here's my point though. Here's my point though. Liam Hemsworth gets the offer right to be the witcher and no one is like hey man, you got to put on twenty pounds. Yeah, you got a bulk up for like bro. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that is a ripped character and from the show he was ripped before. That's what I'm saying and I do think to 32:51 because your wife plays the games and reads the books to right yeah. So she's like in the fandom and that's where it's like. Oh, I would also be that annoyed because then for Henry Cavill lead for Superman and then Superman gets recast. So now Henry Cavill left kind of for nothing. Yeah, yeah, that's a bummer. Yeah, so my wife is genuinely the position where it's like they have one more season left and she's like bringing back. Yeah, she's will this will be weird about this season that just happened. Sure, whatever that was and do the arrested development thing where they just redo season for sure. 33:21 Yeah, because the rest of the development did that right. They had a weird season where like writers change or something like that and they came back later. Community also did yeah. yeah. Community had a season where it was clearly the writer strike. Yeah, well there was there was that beef with the writer. Yeah, which every chase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they open their session. It's much more successful. Sure celebrities are coming in and out and their that's what it was. So there was like with that guy. What guy? The man working guy 33:50 That's how we got there my dad, so she actually she's dating Matthew, her co owner of the restaurant, of course, and there's actually a cult. Isn't it? There's a moment there, a coal. I saw him wearing a cross necklace. This is a cult. No, does it become a cult? No, Jim doesn't like when I figure stuff out. Go back to that picture of them. Look at this dude. No, no, no, no. The other one, the other one, the one with the celebrities. I mean if they're dating 34:20 and he's wearing that necklace, which is like that necklace is either a six dollar bought at a Bible camp kind of necklace. That's like a cross ways like ten thousand dollars. You know I'm saying like that is that it's it's a little too tight, just not tight enough, not a choker, but it's a little too tight. It's that cross always know it's there. I guarantee this becomes a cult yeah. 34:45 Does it become a cult? No, not really. I nailed it. Dude Tim hates when I figure stuff out. It doesn't really make our call. Okay, I mean not really. You're smiling and you're really bad liar. Wait, you should not be on Big Brother with me. I've thought about that. I'm like dang man. What was the angle I could pitch to Big Brother? Maybe what if I pitch them at me and Tim going together? Tim's a website developer. He's a normal boring guy right and I'm just we're hey hey Big Brother. We're two best friends. 35:13 and we're not going to tell anyone in the house. We know each other and then we're both in the house right and I'm like oh yeah, then we can do the whole thing where we pretend we don't know each other at all yeah right and then like every night we're like hey, what you learn today and I just realized in this moment right now where you're telling me this is not a cult. We have too much chemistry we're lose. We're gonna lose because you can't lie. All well wait and see how this episode plays. All right, does he so they the rest go well and they're dating and she actually coincidentally slow. Did you're coming in and out? 35:43 yeah her and I like Baldwin kind of hit it off, but she's dating this other guy. So like they can't really have like any real relationship. They come, they do become pretty close. They come really, really close. Okay, but she's dating this other guy. This other guy, so they just become close. They're just friends. Sure, and so but this is thirty rock era. This is thirty rock Alec Baldwin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, and so 36:09 she actually is like, like I should set you up with one of our other regulars who really loves this restaurant. So she sets them up with Alec up with her and then what Sarma sets Alec Baldwin up with another regular at the right to your food and wine the way you said it was. So she sets him up with Alex up to her. You said Alec you went, so she set him up with Alec up with her. That's what you said. 36:39 and I thought a look up her. I did was the name of the witch that just took over how like Baldwin's life. You're like yeah, so she set him up with Alec up with her Alec up with her yes. My name is a cup with her uh 36:58 her see it's a witch name. I I like guess whatever dog just tell the story man. I know I said it weird. I said it weird. It's okay. I said it weird so her is now a good episodes by the way. So Alex, I'll let you know if it changes. Alex starts dating this girl that Sarma set her up with yeah and who's the girl we know her. We do know her. Let me look up. Okay doesn't matter. Okay, yeah names don't matter. That's right. 37:28 we don't care if it's not consequential to the story. It isn't consequential to the story and so meanwhile Matthew and Sarmas start having some issues and they split up. Yeah, it was Queen Elizabeth. By the way, we just googled it. 37:43 fuck Daisy's Queen Elizabeth for a little bit in 2004. 37:50 I like her because of the bat thing I'm bad. Oh, that was her. It's a call back to like a long time ago. The Michael Fagan episode. That's a log yeah, so so Matthew and her split up sure now Alec is dating this other girl that set her up with shock like they can't connect and then Alec marries that woman ah and so Sarmas responsible for Alex marriage. 38:19 and also Alec is now the one who got away. Oh yeah, that is true. Okay, so someone goes back to Jeffrey and is like hey Matthew and I broke up. It's really awkward having to work with him every day. um What can you do? What year is this now? It's like it's it's still pretty early. That's like two thousand and six. something like that two thousand seven um and so he she goes to Jeffrey and Jeffery's like well, I could loan you two point one million dollars to buy him out of the restaurant. Oh and 38:49 she was like. I like that idea and so he loans her took it out of his lofer. I got a lot of money of my loafers. I can loan you. That's why I can't have my pants all the way down cash. I've got it right. I can loan you one point eight one point nine. I don't know that they make these kind of dollar bills two point one two way one and we'll see if he'll take that and so you know a hundred thousand dollar bill before 39:21 Rips it. That's how much I don't know how rich I am. And then he turns around and runs. It's lot of money. I needed that. I wanted to look good for swarma. It so cool. It was such a cool thing to do, but I needed that. Her name is Sarma and I call her Schwarm. 39:45 I was so excited to get the joke out. That's rough, so she buys them out. They open up on Donny. Is that her name close? They she buys her ex wife for now. They open up another location, but this location is a little different. It packages and sells okay. The items as like take away and he have we got to buy these shirts bro. 40:11 eat raw live long. That's crazy, but the brand is one lucky. I see that that is the tattoo she's got, but she's got a picture with Matthew later with this lucky duck. Oh, you know, and I think I mix this up. I think they opened it before they broke up. They might okay, okay, okay, okay. So they open one lucky duck. Yeah, yeah and then and it is pre packaged 40:37 raw food, raw food, yes, it's the food for the rest of they just patch. She did the whole and this is two thousand six. I mean look, that is the that chalkboard menu. Yeah is what city market coffee still looks like yeah yeah she. mean she was definitely ahead of way like a pioneer in the industry and so she she goes back to the restaurant. She kind of focuses on our work for a little bit 41:04 and then she starts putting herself back out there. She's meeting people, you know, live in the live in the New York single rich restaurantier lifestyle and she meets a guy on the line by the name of Shane Fox. Okay, this is Shane uh and Shane, which one it's a picture of Shane and his dog and I was like which one that was funny so 41:31 Shane and her start talking online a lot. He lives up. He lives back up in Boston. Okay. And they start talking online a lot. Oh, she's catfished for a long time, uh like a year. This is a story. No, they start talking online. I will say after about a year of them talking online, he ends up moving down to New York so they can like actually be together. Okay. And when she meets him in the in this, you said this is a documentary. Yeah, you said that uh 42:00 she says. I don't feel like he was completely honest about his appearance when he arrived. That's what she says in the documentary. She did feel a little catfish. Yeah, she felt a little little cat. What part didn't she like? Oh, she said he was much larger than his pictures. Let her to believe that's exactly what she said. Yeah, yeah, they'll do that man. ah So that's why when I was on the dating apps, I actually used the enlarge photos 42:27 enlarge. I only use my fat pictures so that way so they were pleasantly surprised. Yeah, it's like oh I I'm not going to lie. Those pictures looked fake, but they I was like there's no way there's the amount of girls who that way add that I wasn't three hundred and eighty pounds. I show up and they were like oh you're like not less to love. I guess I guess uh so she starts. She started seeing Shane. I told you how often my grandma will say she liked me better when I was bigger 42:59 she'll go, she'll go, she'll go. You looked healthier when you were big. What I don't think you know what the health looks like. I did not know. So anytime that she goes, anytime my grandma goes, you're looking good, I go, I've put five back on. Didn't I dad, gum it. I got a guy, got to trim up a little bit. If Del was complimenting me yikes big yikes, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what I don't know. Weird 43:28 So all of our family stuff stems from that lady. 43:35 Okay, so she's done seeing the shape. I know how to find it. 43:42 Tell my grandma I've got a podcast. Go tell her. 43:49 so shame shade start taking around Sarma. He starts coming around the restaurant. Okay, and big shame. They called him. There's not another shame there, but they just called him big shame. We got to have that's the war. I would have to you big shame. That is the worst when people are like, oh yeah, big Jared over there. A big guy. They call you a big guy. It's interesting because like I've always wanted to be called big guy or big Tim. That's so interesting that the stuff I'm running away from it keeps me up at night. 44:19 yeah. No, you weren't there for that. Bree would remember this. Whoever they were hanging out with in college because I knew your wife before you did and by like three months. No yes, no yes, we grew up together. Oh my God. So anyway, when we were in college, there was a guy we were playing sand volleyball with. Yeah, exactly. You know, he kept calling me big boy. He kept calling me big boy. No need to do that. 44:46 I know exactly who you're talking about. No need to do that. Yeah, Alex is yawning. We gotta move on hey Alex over that guy. He stuff that down dude here. Drink the rest of this 45:00 So so Shane starts coming around and people start hearing some of the stories that Shane's telling and they're like we don't pay you to sit there and yawn at us. We don't pay you at all like Shane's an interesting guy because he tells some strange story. Do like now Tim is like we do kind of keep moving. That's super funny for Tim's like so Shane is an interesting guy. Okay, so Shane's an interesting guy. 45:25 No, I'll let you finish so shades in your thing. Anyways, so she's in because I tells a lot of stories and they're like his stories are kind of out there, not really believable and so he's starting. He's just a liar. He's telling everyone he was a Navy seal. Heck yeah. He tells everyone he still worked for which I was yeah. 45:52 he does everybody still works for the government and which I do on my top secret projects. Mine aren't secret. I can tell you he tells everyone that planet. I'm London. 46:06 I work for the government, no secret projects. We're going to bomb London. Yeah, I work for the CIA. Why do we tell you what we're doing? You want me to tell you on reddit? I work for the CIA AMA. Ask me anything earlier this year. The CIA adopted a process of radical candor. We're just going to tell the truth. We're honest. We feel like 46:31 we heard a lot of people's feelings kind of decided. What's the point of hiding stuff? You know you're going to find out about it. You're going to find out about it and let's be honest who's going to stop us and we don't feel bad about this at all. Yes, we did convince a group of tribal villagers that vampires existed in the place that they live in order to scare them into compliance with the things that we wanted to do. That's a real thing. We did the thing we did yeah and who cares? It was pretty cool. It's kind of funny. I know cool. Actually we filmed the reactions. You can watch it on true tv. 47:03 a hit in pratt. So joker's was a CIA side. Okay, so shades telling these unbelievable stories. He tells her he starts telling people he's like an heir to a six billion dollar estate. Okay, he's just a pathological guy yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but he and Sarma get very, very, very, very close um and he tells she actually calls him Alex sometimes 47:32 He tells her, says, he says, hey, you need to know. He doesn't tell everybody else this. He tells just, about this. And says, hey, you need to know, like, I am part of this group called the family. And she says, okay. And he says, this is like a ah interdimensional group of elites that organize everything that happens on this plane. 47:58 And so we have control, like complete control over everything that happens here in your world. Um, and he says that I have the power to grant you blessings beyond anything that you could ever imagine. And he says, but I, I need to understand like you have faith in us and like you want to be part of the family. And he says, I'm, I'm the heir to the family. tell everyone I'm an heir to the $6 billion fortune, but really it's much more than that because I'm part of the family. And so he tells her, he says, I need. 48:27 He says, I want to make you my you joking? I'm dead serious. He says, he says, I want to this. eh 48:37 Are we 51 minutes into? He says, want to make you my queen in the face. When I step into my true form, I want to make you my queen. And he's like, but I need I need to know that you're with us. And so I need I need to see some commitment from your end. And so he tells her that if you can show your commitment, I'll make you my queen. And also this picture with this dog was actually Sarma's dog. He says, I'll make your dog a mortal to. 49:07 And she loves her dog a lot. 49:12 Pause. uh 49:19 Are we fifty one minutes into an alien episode right now? This is an alien episode. I was nothing interdimensional, yeah, eternal being. mean, I guess technically if you're going to paint it that way, we call him a we could me and my family control everything on your plane. Yeah, I mean, I guess there is some alien asking for a bitch going on there, but this is an alien story. Go back to the picture of him. This guy's immortal. 49:46 But also. 49:50 not fat. He just I want to make sure everyone knows this guy is a normal looking dude. I mean a lot. A lot. there a bigger picture? Is this just a good angle of him? Yeah, this is a this is a this is like a Facebook profile picture quality because it's like oh yeah. I can see my chin, my jaw line. Is that what this is yeah? You're gonna me a picture of a fat dog. You're gonna show me a picture of a fat dog right now. 50:19 this might give some things away. Okay, so he's bigger yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah here's here. You know what I'm mad at what I got her. I just have a round face yeah and I don't like that yeah because they make surgeries for that honestly genuinely might do it because I'm tired of big got big guys yeah bigger than me having tight like 50:47 having better jaw lines than me, then you get catfished by that picture yeah, and then you see a big star you in. 50:57 Don't talk to me, I'm you in. See? That is a stone jaw right there if I've ever seen one. Thanks. 51:07 My grandma hates this! 51:12 so anyway, we're airing out our insecurities on the podcast. What's yours? I it's your hairline. It's my hairline is my height. It's my weird fake laugh. uh 51:28 My hairline? My height? My weird fake laugh? My high voice? My duck voice? My ha ha ha! 51:38 Are you insecure? Nothing at all. What would I have to be insecure about yelling like I go over here? Yeah all right, so he does so he does it. I'll make your dog. I'm going to make you my queen. I'm going to make you live forever and she having been malnourished from eating only raw vegan food then goes okay. She goes. That sounds great. I mean so she genuinely believe it 52:08 I think so because I think her behavior suggests that she bought it. Can you imagine the number of documentaries we could have, but like because she sat down all right, look, okay, let's play through for a second. He says I'm going to make you the queen of my interdimensional plane and you're going to live forever. Yeah, she believes him. Yeah, years later she's willing to sit in a documentary chair and be like yeah, I believed him right. Yeah, 52:37 that's why we get a documentary. The number of documentaries we could have, but people are like I'm not going to admit that I mean yeah, I believed it and I'm embarrassed about that. I'm not going to sit in the chair and talk about. Well, I should say I don't think she ever in the documentary was like yeah. I believed it okay. She she tried to color herself a little different. I think in the documentary you know what and that's why people do the documentary sometimes is that they go. Oh, this is an image control option. They can make them look better. Yeah, I can which did you watch that 53:05 documentary of the unknown number documentary. Yes, yeah, and we talked about we we should do that as an episode, but the fact that she's in the documentary crazy in her mind. She's like if I'm in the documentary, then I can twist the narrative. That's insane. Yeah anyway, yeah, because producers are really good. It's like and that's why I was so mad that they didn't interview the orca in the blackfish document. 53:29 I want to hear it. completely changed the narrative. wrote it down. He's like, I don't think you guys want to make a joke about that. Actually, my vegan friends are going to draw the line right there. 53:39 so so he tells it all. not saying we should eat the whale Alex chill. He tells her all this and he's like we should though he's like let's go. He's like let's go to Monaco and so she's like oh, that sounds great and so then they took a vacation to Monaco. How is he paying for all this stuff and he takes it to the okay. We're going find out okay. Okay, okay. He takes into these casinos in Monaco and just the high life buying like hundred thousand dollar jewelry like 54:08 like doing high roller poker games, like doing like the presidential suite and Monaco running a yacht for the day like he's paying for all this. Yes, okay, ah like crazy lifestyle stuff, and so she's like oh, he is an heir to a billion dollar fortune, which is actually he's part of the family and uh like so she starts to like he's painting this picture that she's starting to believe because he's living this lifestyle and so 54:37 they go back home after the after this trip and he says hey, the tests are going to begin. We're going to have to start testing your faith. Okay, and he says I need you to wire me ten thousand dollars and she says okay, and so she starts to be test by him and he's doing. What's that called? eh Pig butchering yeah, fattening the pig yeah yeah yeah and so he starts he starts talking her into 55:07 um, given away, get sending him like fairly large wires of money. And at this time, like her restaurants super successful, she's the sole owner. Um, she has a decent bit of debt from the Jeffrey, but they're doing 7 million a year in top line revenue. So she's doing really well. Um, and so he's just starts slowly, but surely leaking some cash from her. Uh, but the situation's a little weird because he hires an accountant and the accountant is like, well, 55:37 If you're getting money from her, like if she's giving you money, you're to have to pay taxes on it. And so he's like, you're right. So he proposes to her and he says, if we're married, then like she can give me whatever money and I don't have to pay taxes on it. Which is what he said. Swarma. 56:00 Sar- Sarma? Sarma. Sarma. uh 56:08 You were wiring me lot of money lately and the tests are proving that you're loyal. This is the biggest test, another loyalty test. And also if we get married, then I don't have to taxes. Most of the tax stuff. Will you legally get married to me legally marry me, which is 56:36 Romantic. So romantic. And he's not even on a one knee. He can't. He's huge. eh 56:44 Sorry, I can't get on one knee. I can't get on one. I wouldn't be able to get back up. I'm going to sit down for this. He's winded. I've been saying it too long for my 57:01 Thanks. 57:05 Hey, thanks for listening to Things I Learned Last Night. It would do us a huge favor if you could just share this episode with somebody or just share the show. Tell someone you like it. That helps us grow the show. Another way to help us grow the show is to support our merch, which is actually super comfy. We changed to a new merch supplier a couple years ago called Fourth Wall. You can buy our stuff at shop.tillen.com. None of this is a pressure, by the way, but it just really does help us grow the show and it helps, you know, get the word out and people ask me about my hoodie in the airport all the time. So they're really comfy. Would love for you to support the show. 57:34 And either way, thanks for being here. We're glad that we get to do this podcast. 57:43 So, uh, so they get married and he starts getting more and more money sent to their finances are split. I should say there's sure remain split, but they do get married. And so now he starts coming around the restaurant a whole lot more. Yeah. And he's around the restaurant and he's behaving like he owns the place. Sure. And so he's bossing people around. He's making like, he's making hiring decisions and everyone's like, you don't work here. And he's like, well, my wife owns the place. And so like, I will, own the place. 58:13 And everyone's like, I don't think that's how that works. It is, but yeah. And so they see, starts having kind of like a rough relationship with a lot of the staff. And what's interesting is that the staff had a great experience with Sarma up until this point. I keep, now that you've done it, I keep almost saying Shorma. 58:32 And this is why I'd be good at Big Brother. I'm planting ideas. Little seeds. And I water them through my jokes. I water them through my jokes. He just goes, Jaren should win this game. So her name is Jaren, just one big brother. 58:53 Her name is... 58:57 Alec up with the car. So so he starts coming around around the restaurant um and meanwhile he starts introducing as like she starts passing more and more tests. He starts introducing her to more and more people in his life. Sure. I don't know if in his life is right. So what I should say he introduces her to an I.T. professional that he's assigned to him through his government job. 59:25 and he's like, we need to make sure that everything is secure for you. And so he connects her, her to this it professional uh online and that he professional says, okay, I'm going to need access to all your accounts. Of course. So that way we can make, then they can set up fake numbers so she can open an app, see that her bank account has this amount of money in it. Yeah, but really it has zero. Well, I don't know about any of that. What I can say is they said we just, we want to make sure everything stays secure. 59:53 because her because your husband is in like black ops and so we want to make sure that everything is is as as safe and she believes that yeah she believes that and so he's constantly going out on these that's what I'm saying. He she may not believe is an alien. She's dumb enough though. Well she he goes he's constantly going on these trips and he's like yeah I'm killing rebels in Africa is what I'm going to be doing this week. That's what he's telling you like straight up word for word. That's what he's telling her killing rebels 01:00:23 And she's like, OK, and then he'll be in Africa and Africa. oh Oh, sorry for bad. had a oh, yeah, I the restaurant go today. I should go good. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, sorry. I'm just jet lagged. was killing rebels in Africa. 01:00:45 Sorry, I'm make my jaw look. I've doing gun rebels in Africa. I've been very insecure ever since you called me really bad. I've been really insecure ever since you said I didn't look at my pictures online. 01:01:01 and so he would he would so he is gone. I was gonna say because the way that these con men work yeah is like. I mean it's kind like when we talked about Ike and and Marty yeah it's it's so involved, but they're doing it to multiple people yeah. So it's like how do you have time for this yeah? I don't know how you could. I barely have time to do this to my wife. 01:01:30 I'm taking all of her money. Yeah, I don't. I don't know how you could possibly like pull that off. I don't yeah. So anyway, so he's leaving for a week. Yeah, yeah, I assumed to go to another victim. We do know what he was doing. Okay, we can get to that later, but just normal stuff. He was killing rebels in Africa. What he was, what if it was like he was telling truth? Old he was telling the truth about crazy part 01:01:56 the celestial being thing. Was it true? But the black ops was yeah. That's the thing is like you got to tell him a lie. So that way when they start talking about it, you know you guys listen in big brother casting. You got a you got to drop breadcrumbs different kind of lies so that that way when they catch you in one, they don't know what's true and what's not. So ah you got to have like plausible deniability for all of your different things exactly and also if you leak certain information to certain people 01:02:22 Like if you tell each person a different kind of lie, then when that comes back to you, you know who your leak is. Yeah, yeah. That's what I did to Tim. So the employees at the restaurant are like, if there's one thing I know about uh Navy Seals is they don't really talk about it. And also they're not that fat. And so there's some some doubt that starts to form among the restaurant staff. So I saw stuff, just doing some digging. The restaurant staff is like, I bet those rebels could outrun you. 01:02:52 They're looking around. And so the restaurant staff starts doing some digging and they find out that Shane isn't his name. Shane Fox is not his name. His name is actually Anthony Strangess and he's divorced. He was married to another woman in Florida ah who alleges that she that he stole a lot of money from her. Yeah. And so they the staff finds this out. They get all the proof together. 01:03:21 and they approach swarma are TESSERF. 01:03:30 they approach sarva and they're like hey, shane's not who you think he is and after yeah, the staff does okay, and she sees all of that and it's very interesting when you see the staff talk about it because the staff says the staffs like it was almost like it was almost like she didn't care like she it seemed like she believed us, but she was like care about it. Yeah, I know yeah and so like she like wasn't offensive. She wasn't like no, this couldn't be true 01:04:00 And then so she goes and she confronts Shane and Shane is like, this is another test. And your allegiance to me is, is allowing you to pass the test and basically like confesses. Yes, I am Anthony. That's another alias I've used. Right. uh These are all aliases. Like none of this is real. And it's like, this was a different life that I lived as a part of my job here as a member of the family. I've lived a lot of different lifestyles. uh 01:04:28 over the last, but all of them have included eating and not working out and now we're body shape. Now we're just because you said that the workers were all like yeah, maybe he's just aren't that big. So now it's like now the whole. I imagine the YouTube thumbnails are going to be like fat guy lies like what are we talking about? Like he's not he's not just to be clear. He's not that big. He's just not he's just not a Navy. doesn't look like a Navy seal. Yeah, yeah, 01:04:58 right now, our body shaving this guy. Okay, so he's he's like he doing the thing where he's just like yeah, all that sure they're just saying that to test you yeah and slowly but surely more and more people are introduced to you're not. Are you confident that she believed this stuff or like? mean like not believe, but like why if she didn't believe it, why would she go along? It's very hard to tell okay. It's very hard to tell. I would assume she did 01:05:26 because I it's hard and now she's just trying to save face and be like no. I knew the whole time yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so he slowly but surely starts introducing her to all these other government assets that he works with that is like corroborating his story in different ways or asking her for like sending her on different tests. Okay, they're small little like usually it's money. Usually it's send this money this to this place, but sometimes there's like little like trust exercises almost that like they have to do, but for the most part it's 01:05:55 send money money and this goes on for a few years until eventually he takes her back to Monaco. It's been a few weeks in Monaco ah and at this point he has access to all of the business accounts right like running the finances of the business and so he's like taking control of that and all of sudden one day paychecks don't hit the employees and they're all in Monaco and the employees just didn't get paid and the employees are also Monaco. 01:06:23 No, no, no, no. Sorry. Sorry. The employees are back at the restaurant. Okay. And Swarma Sarva and Shane or Anthony Shane slash Anthony are in Monaco. Okay. And the employees don't get paid. So employees start texting her and are like, Hey, we didn't get paid today. And she's like, I'm looking into it. And she finds out, the bank account has no money. And so she's like, that's a problem. I didn't know that. I wasn't aware of that. So she from Monaco 01:06:49 manages like she goes up to the hotel room. Shane stays at the casino like gambling with their paychecks and so she goes up to the hotel room and she makes a bunch of phone calls and she ends up securing. I think it was like three hundred grand to pay everybody for the next like to pay periods because she at this point I should say to a huge she had multiple locations right all throughout New York and she had the one lucky duck and so she secure all this cash to be able to pay everybody and so they're okay. We got paid and then a couple weeks later this happens again. The paychecks 01:07:19 a couple weeks later they get an email from Shane right the night before payday and it says, Hey, just want to let you guys know you're going to get paid tomorrow, but your checks are going to bounce just so you're aware. And everyone's like, that's not how this should work. And he's like, so don't, don't spend any of that money. It's not real money. It's not going to be there. You're not going to get to keep it. Um, and everyone's like, uh, okay. And so they get together and they stage a walkout and they say, okay, we're not going to work if you're not going to pay us. 01:07:49 sure. So they're on the other side of the ocean. Yeah. And their restaurant closes because no one's working the restaurant. And so sarma hears about this and sarmas pretty, pretty mad. Yeah. And so they rushed back. Um, sarma tries to figure out, figure the situation out. She's basically able to kind of save face with all the employees and be like, we're going to figure this out. We're going to be like, we're going to find a way to get you paid. She ends up taking on a lot of debt to be able to pay these employees. Um, but it becomes a sort of thing where 01:08:19 this was like the beginning of a serious bleed with the company and it became a trend where paycheck after paycheck started getting missed, of course, and so employees started leaving and eventually the ah the restaurant shut down. Okay, because no one was getting employed. No one was getting paid in place. Yeah, left in the middle of all of this. Sarma is barely connected to what's going on at the store. She knows that there's this problem with the paychecks that's happening. That's what I'm wondering. If the paid the first time the paychecks bounce is when you're like 01:08:49 Oh, I need to be like involved yeah and she's still kind of like things like no. got it and she's like and any time she's like no. I feel like I need to be he's like he's like it's a test yeah yeah he's like he's like we're finding out where your faith in it all lies okay, and so she and he's and he's like think about your dog. Think about the dog, the dog gonna live forever, which sidebar hold on. Please tell me that this doesn't end with the dog dies and then she realizes she goes 01:09:17 Oh, he was lying. I wish that were true, but that's not how a dog dies and she goes. 01:09:25 You can't do it. And he's like, this is another test. like, this is a test. Revive dog. Give it three days. Give it three days. And so he comes to her in the night and he says, hey, we need to go on a trip. And she says, it's the what? What are you talking about? And he's like, he's like, we need to go on a road trip. This is another test. Like we need to go now. Okay. And so they get in a car, they load up the dog and a lot of what they own and they just drive out of the city and start driving across the country. 01:09:56 and he paints it to her like they're on like a road trip. Okay, cross country is in like they're headed multiple states like they're leaving out west. Yeah. And he says he says if anybody asks your name is Emma and she says okay and so she's like if I talked to someone I have to introduce myself as Emma and so she does this whole trip she's introducing herself as Emma and he says I've got you these skin color. Yeah, it's which if you're ever at a gas station pilot gas station and someone is colorless. Hi, I'm Emma. 01:10:22 you should call the police. Hey Emma, you should whatever you're doing stop Emma. Your dog's gonna die. They're gonna kill your dog. I think they're gonna kill your dog. Emma is me grabbing her head. Your dog's gonna die, uh but he's like he's like I got you some skin color band aids. I need you to cover up your tattoo and she's like you're right. I should do that in colored band aids. Okay, and so uh so she covers him for that to with these band aids. 01:10:51 and then he drives like cover that up. I'm tired of looking at it. I got you some skin color tattoos. You should cover those things because he's driving. It's on her left shoulder. He's driving all day. He's driving. He's so mad steaming pull it together. Shane Anthony. So they drive yeah, they they kind of like duo 01:11:21 normal road trip. They see all the sites. They stop at the side shows and then am I crazy? We got to wrap this up episodes running long and Tim is like they stop and see the giant go for a stop and see the ball yard stage. Yeah, then you get mad at me when the episode's too long. He takes her to Vegas and they get a presidential suite in Vegas okay and they spend like a month and a half in Vegas and he is 01:11:49 at the slots going every day, every single day sitting at the slots. She hates it there. She's in a room. She's reading books. She's like, just like hold away and the hotel room. Um, and so they're there. She's getting all these texts from employees that she's just ignoring. He left her her phone. Interesting move. So she's still, she's still like engaging with people, but getting all these angry texts from people. 01:12:15 she goes that's Sarma. I'm Emma. I'm Emma. Sorry, sorry, wrong number. is Emma. My name is Emma and so then they I'm doing that for you. Oh sorry, wrong number. I want to respond to my tax lady when she goes a jern, you know, flight receipts look more than last year. I was gonna go sorry, wrong email coming from my email. 01:12:41 sorry wrong email with your signature and everything. Yeah, you sorry you've even on the wrong person. My name is Emma send so they they spent a few weeks in Vegas and then finally they start another road trip going back east and they end up in Tennessee. They're staying in like some motel in Tennessee and while they're there, Sarma here's a like what okay summer. Here's this knock at the door and the door opens up and it's two detectives and they say 01:13:12 Hi, I'm officer whatever, what's your name? And she says, Emma. And she says, and the officer is like, no, your name's Sarma. And she's like, oh, sorry, he told me I need to introduce myself as Emma. And so they come in and they look in the room and at this point she finds out that earlier, like a few minutes ago, the police arrested him in the lobby. And the way they did it is they had the front desk called. 01:13:42 ah call Anthony and they said hey, there's a problem with the payment. Can you come down and and help handle the payments? Sure he walks in the room and then they tackle them and they were they arrested them. So he's sitting out in the squat car and they were like, okay, we're going to go up and we're going to get her and she's just in a room reading just hanging out and she like basically says everything that happened right and so then they take her down and they're like, do you want to say ah goodbye, bye to him? Do you want to kiss your husband goodbye? And she's like, no, I never want to see him again. And then he was like, oh, that's strange. 01:14:11 and so then they load her in the squad car and they put her under arrest to what's she under arrest for this point? Well, embezzling and so she was pulling money out of the business accounts and it prevented anyone from the company from getting paid and so there's like lost wages for months. Okay, and so she was doing that. 01:14:32 Yes, yes, okay, sometimes okay, sometimes and so basically this begins. They're not viewing her as a victim of this is what I'm saying. Yes, you want to paint a picture about right road trip and stopping and looking at yarn balls, but you don't want to paint a picture of is she a victim in this or is she a cop? Plus here's a here's a such a thing. I'm like she's under arrest and you're like I 01:14:55 they go to him. Why do you talk about stuff that doesn't matter and you don't talk about stuff that does? I'm trying to explain this to you. They take her. They take her to court. They take him to court and he immediately gets like charged. Okay, there's no question this guy, this guy did this guy's crying sure and so he he gets convicted slimin and crime. Yeah, he gets convicted for his whole scheme and right. He serves two years in prison for it and then she goes his whole scheme of 01:15:25 embezzling money like this. This game. I don't know what the actual charge is he in trouble with the actual trying this to her like he's stealing money from her. Yes, yes, I believe so. He only did two years. Yeah, and so he it was okay. Here's the he was charged with grand larceny and a scheme to defraud and a violation of labor law. Okay, I got two years in prison for that and then she got put on trial because she and this is the interesting 01:15:54 think about the trial. Ignorance doesn't get you off the hook like you. That was your business. You should have been more involved with the paychecks yeah and so the defense said that she was under co-hearsive co-hearsive control. Okay, so she they said that she did not have control. That's what I'm trying to say yeah. Yeah, the defense made that that claim, but the the prosecution said well, she was like no just ruining her own. The defense is like her husband had control over her. She was and she did not know that it was just no one controls me 01:16:24 And they're like, hey, shut up and he's like, she's like, he was going to my dog immortal. I wanted that. And they're like, oh, put her in jail. And so she ends up getting charged uh for uh she ends up pleading guilty in May 2017 after this whole trial um to stealing over two million dollars from investors and scheming to defraud as well as criminal tax fraud charges. um And so she, she sled, uh she had a four year 01:16:52 jail sentence. She spent more time in jail than he did sorry for month. I meant for my okay a four month jail sentence and then she ended up divorcing strangers, which makes sense. ah What's interesting is when you watch her talk about this whole story like it's so strange because she pled guilty to this ah and she obviously served her sentence and when you watch her talk about it like there is an air of her where she talks about it like yeah. I knew he was lying to me. I didn't believe it 01:17:21 but I needed money and so like I thought that I believed the story. She of ended up ponzi scheming herself where she was like I need the money. Yeah, eventually I'll get out of this hole and I don't have to keep putting up with this guy. Exactly. But then there was also a storyline she would tell that was like I believed it like he tricked me. I didn't know what was going on at all. Like I thought my dog was gonna be immortal and so like she's kind of play like a foot in both. 01:17:49 realm. Yeah, I wasn't a part of this at all. The victim and the for the same time. was completely deceived and then there was one where it's like I knew what was going on, but I was like trying to play the game either way. It's like she's trying to be like I was a victim of circumstance or a victim of this guy. Yeah, yeah, so none of it's like I need to take responsibility for my actions in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's really interesting is so she gets out of prison and she's now six million dollars in debt from the whole ordeal because she's got to pay back the debts from that and then she has the debts that she accrued during the whole 01:18:18 the whole scheme to try to pay people and then keep the restaurant open and things like that. So six million in debt. uh She served her jail sentence, but also she kind of has this like stamp on her of like no investors ever going to invest in her again because of this fraud. Yeah. So like the thing that she knows, the thing that she's actually good at, which was running this vegan restaurant, she can't go back to do right where Anthony gets out of prison and Anthony had nothing before this. Yeah. Except for the money that he stole from his other wife. Sure. And grew. 01:18:47 in his gambling addiction. And so he essentially gets to start over clean slate and because he didn't really have anything before. And so for him, he goes, he serves a sentence. He doesn't have any debt. He didn't take on any of that debt. He gets a divorce and he's just kind of out there free. And we don't know like what's going on in his life right now, but we do know that he had the seat. He did the same thing with his previous wife and he told her the same stuff about him being a black ops operative and being a Navy seal. 01:19:15 And like he didn't say the weird like interdimensional. Yeah. But he and then he went and did that with Sarma. And so the question is, is he out there doing this with somebody else now? We don't know. But he does have a clean slate and he can't even get in text messages. Oh, no. What's interesting is in this case, and I'm sure you could probably guess this, but this whole group of professionals from the government that he introduced her to, none of existed. Of course. What's the documentary? 01:19:44 great job illustrating this because they got actors to play the role of all those people and then when they revealed it, they had a mall like fade away because it was like none of these people are real, which was really cool. Yeah, because it was like it was like I can't believe this is a real person is like going along with this ski like he had this network of like twelve people sure, but they were none of them were real, which was a peak peak production, but anyways. 01:20:11 Okay, so she wrote a book. She did this Netflix documentary and is now like doing the podcast or thing and she's talking a lot about the document because the documentary does kind of paint it like so Alec Baldwin dodged a bullet is what it sounds like. Well, here's the thing like she herself wasn't doing any of this stuff. She got sucked into it. Here's the thing. Oh boy, this guy very clearly had a gambling addiction, of course, and I watched. I watched a psychologist try to kind of figure out 01:20:40 Yeah, like psychoanalyze this. And it was very interesting because he had one part he said, he said, how did he how did he phrase this? He said, uh and for some reason she wanted to subject her dog to an eternity with her, which is a crazy thing to say. But ah he did talk about gambling addiction. And he said the unique thing with gambling addiction is with every other addiction out there. 01:21:04 they're usually substance addictions. And so the substances, they inhibit you in some way. And so you can't feed that addiction to a certain level because your body literally can't continue to feed that. But with a gambling addiction, the more you feed that addiction, what can happen is it's this 50-50 chance. And you might be able to earn more money to feed that addiction more, or you lose money and then you go take advantage of other people to feed that addiction more. 01:21:28 And so what we see with a lot of people who get addicted to gambling is they start to take advantage of a lot of the other people in their right. Right. Right. Right. that way they can continue. Right. Because their mental state is not inhibited. They can be very sneaky and scheming and trick a lot of people because they're at a normal mental state. Their feet. But they're feeding this really toxic addiction. So the question is, like, if, if she ended up with Alec, like what this have happened because Alec didn't have a gambling addiction that we know of. 01:21:55 Alex not doing this to his actual wife that we know of right and so she was predisposed to fall victim to this. I would say because she definitely did believe in a lot of this like astral projection stuff, but oh so your victim blaming the the astrology girls, huh? I know what I would say is if you're a sad, retarious, eh it's on you. It's your fault. What I'm saying is he knew how to play her. 01:22:21 and so he yeah I could I could draw in on these beliefs and play you this way. Of course, and so I don't think out dodger bullet because I think if Alec was with her, then none of this would have happened. If you're food and wine probably was silly. Yeah wow, I mean I don't know man. I uh I struggle between like hat. What's the line between someone being taken advantage of and then like at a certain point you're being taken advantage of, but you're also perpetrating that onto the you're still harming other people yeah and that's where it sucks and so that's why we it's we 01:22:49 that's why we we limited our patron supporters. You know we don't even have enough of them to take advantage of people, so if you want to help us take advantage of others, make sure you get an early, so you're not the one we take advantage of. How about that? How about that? Join us on Patreon or have your life ruined by us five years from now when we gain power? 01:23:09 Those are your choices. Hey, thanks for listening to this week. There's another episode we got a fiddle off. sorry, fiddle off. Thanks for listening this week. There's another episode we did about Dr. Isaac Hirsch, cough, who, who kind of like embedded himself in the life of Marty over 30 years took over his life. I think you'd enjoy it. Thanks for it. Please share this by the way, share this episode with somebody, not this one, share a different one, share one with Tim's fake dumb laughs, but thank hey, thank you for your genuine laughter of our show. We can, we enjoy doing 01:23:38 This is so dumb. All right, we'll see you next week.


The story of Sarma Melngailis is one of ambition, success, and a shocking scam that pulled her entire world apart. It begins with a bold dream in New York City and ends with a cross-country chase, unpaid employees, and millions of dollars missing. This tale shows how even the brightest people can be pulled into something they never expected. From … Read More

The Atom Bomb Saved Thousands of Bats

11-18-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? What's going on? Hey, it's our 300th episode person baptized. That's what this is about. Three at church. We baptized 300 people this year. You sowed a seed on Patreon to make that happen. Thanks for happening. Yeah, no, it's our 300th episode. We did it. We've been doing this for a while. It's our 300th. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. We're finally going to do it. 00:29 but we're not going to tell you what it is. I'll tell you what it is. We're finally going to do it. We're going to We're going to kiss. here. Come here. Come here. Come here. 00:44 This week sponsor is fantastic ever. What is so crazy is that they were testing these in the same desert in New Mexico. Oh yes, they're out there and they're like like okay, it's really hard to do the calculations for this bat bomb when all those big gigantic never heard before booms are happening over there. 01:06 Things I learned last night. 01:16 I don't want to talk about that. I don't want to talk about what just happened. 01:25 ah were a sloppy wet pod. Oh no unforeseen. was unforeseen. That sloppy wet is both 01:34 three hundred more. Hey, when we do our four hundred episode, we'll do it shirtless. I tried to convince Tim before we started this. I said hey, don't you remember us making that joke a long time ago that if we ever got a three hundred episodes, we would do it shirtless and he was like no, no, I don't remember doing that vitamin D and doing that vitamin, so his memory is not as bad. Yeah, yeah, but neck right now I'm saying when we get to four hundred 02:03 all right, whatever we got to get fit. We got two years to get fit. I don't need two years. I'll do it now. I'm on a was I'm fit now. I was. I was a little. was somewhat almost sort of fit. Do remember the moment on the line our fitness journey? Yes, yeah, very clearly. That was one of the worst moments. I it was. It was. It was a yeah. That was brutal. Alex, you know which moment sparked our fitness journey 02:31 it was when we got paid to go to Google Play and then they put us in cycling outfits and like the most revealing. I felt they were so tight. It was like skin tight spandex and I thought I was like decently in decent shape and then I looked at myself in that. I don't know why they made us do that yeah and so then the next year we came back and we were in pretty good shape prepare. We were ready for preparing for crazy cost you the whole. They didn't give us any crazy costumes. We the whole year like guys like 02:59 I have abs. I told my guys, I'm kind of hot yeah and you purposely like I think they expected us to still like not have good bodies and I was like oh they're hot now. Oh bummer and that's why they haven't got us. I've been trying to put on more weight when I canceled the we've been trying to get out of shape. So we get booked again for Google play Izzy. If you see this we're fat again. 03:28 I'll be fat for you anyway. What topic you got today? Is it a good one? Yeah. Have you ever heard of the bat bomb, the bat bomb, the bat bomb? No. Oh, well, do I have a show for you? I think we need to start this story by talking about this guy, dr lie. I don't know how to say this name. L Y T L E little 03:57 that's first why T I E L Y T L E Doctor Little S Adams. It might be little or Lytle that's so this is what the eighteen hundreds. This was probably the early nineteen hundred early nineteen hundreds. Yeah, that was like their way of being like little little. Oh, so you're saying he was like little John. That's little bow. Wow! 04:21 the nineteen hundred he's just the nineteen hundreds of verses of low is for audio listener. It's a like a professor looking guy in the nineteen hundreds and he's wearing a bow tie and a suit and he's got a piece of paper that he's at everything and he looks very professional, but he also goes by little little Adams, Doctor Little Adams. Oh yeah, I'm little Adams, Doctor Adam. Oh, I like I'm looking for. I'm trying to figure out how to blow up some bat 04:52 So Doctor Little Adams is an interesting. He's got a pretty high forehead. I'm worried that I'm going to be balding up here soon, and so I'm trying to figure out like if my hair looked like that, I'd be fine. I think right yeah yeah. I mean like my hair doesn't look like that. Does it no no okay? I mean I can't say his he didn't lose it all like there he's got back, but it's pretty high up. It's pretty high and look he's messing with bats yeah. You're giving it away. 05:20 Well, obviously the name of the episode is bat. He's going to blow that bad up. So he's got something to do with bats and I think I just broke my toenail anyways. uh So he no keep going. Yeah, keep going. Don't doctor little any context or idea of how that could have happened. I know. I push through. I to pinch the nerve in my tone. I don't know. My toenail hurts really bad and I you want to do you want to check it out? It looks fine. It hurts. 05:49 that yeah, they don't say stuff out loud in the don't be like I think I just cut my toe off. 05:56 I don't know. hurts well doctor little he's got bats. I think I just cut my toe off and he's been where you can't just say that and then try to move on. I can't. What do think this is? I put my socks and shoes back on okay, so doctor little ass Adams. He was a dentist in Pennsylvania and it's a pretty run of the mill dentist. He was born in the late eighteen hundreds eighteen eighties to be exact. 06:21 practice dentistry did everything that dentists normally do right. Okay, extracting teeth, cleaning teeth, looking at teeth. I don't think he x ray teeth. I don't think they had that yet touching the touch and teeth. You got good teeth, uh but he also was an inventor. If I was a dentist, I think I would call myself a tooth teller 06:44 Oh, I'm a tooth. I'm a sorry. I'm a tooth teller. Yeah, I like that. I like that's pretty cool. What do you do? Oh, I'm a and my billboards all over town would say I you can't handle the tooth. You know, saying my my ads on TV would be maybe like you can't handle the two. You know, my radio ads would be me going. Hey, come on down to my dentist office. 07:12 I'm Jaren Myers, a dentist. See, it's always a subverting expectation. That's like comedy is I'm very good at this. So little little was a dentist by day. He was an enter. He was the better at night dentist by day. Yeah, it's my new threads bio dentist by day, but a night he invented stuff. 07:41 It was a serial inventor. had a lot of patents. Only a handful of them actually took off. One of them, I'm to be honest with you, I'm going to show you a diagram of this in a second so we can try to figure out how this works. Sure. But one of them that actually took off, he was also an amateur pilot, so he liked to fly around big fan. And one of his inventions was he noticed that there were rural communities in the United States that just did not have consistent mail service from the US Postal Service because they were just so far remote. And so he 08:10 invented this airmail system um where it was called the continuous airmail system. And essentially it was a series of cables and catapults that would allow a plane to fly over and just catch the mail. I don't understand how it works, but here's a diagram and let's see if we can figure it out. This the continuous airmail system. ah And so you'll see there's the mail plane flying over. 08:37 there's a catapult involved. Yeah, it's got a contact cable at the end of the contact cable. There is like a little steel ball. I do know that. I don't know if it shows it in the diagram, but it has a mail bag attached to it, and so that mail bag comes through okay, and when it hits that mail bag is released and falls into the shoot, so all the incoming mail and then it triggers a catapult and there's the outgoing mail bag on there and I guess the catapult 09:05 just shoots up to the airplane and the guy's was a no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, so, so, so you can see how you see how the slot guides contact cable from wide entrance, right? So the cable comes in and then hitting that, like where it's in this thing releases the bag that it has, which then opens the latch for it to collect a new bag as it's coming up this, this side of the collection bin as you will, right? 09:34 that catapult is not catapulting in the air. It's literally like here's the side of the thing. This cable is going to run up the side of this. It's literally just connecting it here, just hitting the case, connecting it boom to the cable. So that way when it hits here, you can see in the corner, that's where it's not catapulting it up to the plane. It's catapulting it to the catapult is probably not the best word there, but it just like like a nutcracker closing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, brings the chin up to the mouth. 10:03 so it's it's similar to those the sign planes that yes, same latch that's doing the yeah, the picking up a sign mail bags. Yes, and then I guess what happens from here is it flies to a local post office drops off that bag picks up a new one and then flies over to some other remote probably lands at some point. I don't think it lands. It's the same thing that they had with Operation Chrome Dome where this was just airborne airborne twenty four seven 10:32 so so that is interesting. I mean you know in San Francisco, we were in San Francisco um every day at noon. There's one of those planes that flies around the banner that it says high noon the the seltzer yeah and every day at noon it's flying around high noon interesting and so good marketing that's expensive, but also that's how we knew what time it was. We were walking around San Francisco and we'd see him. go. Oh, it's lunch time. It's seltzer hour. It's noon. It's time for seltzer 11:02 and I would. mean it would be like eleven fifty five. We're like wow okay. They really got their right on. That's crazy. That's crazy that that's your job like to just every day and if you forget you're like you're late yeah. I'm running late for my noon. I've got a very serious important important appointment. I can't this is why I'm We're hundred episodes in he still drives me. I appreciate that. I respect nobody. Nobody will know what time it is if it were for me. 11:29 this guy doesn't know that nobody has clocks. He thinks he's the only way anyone knows stop looking at the clock. He's looking for the plate. He can't see the point. He doesn't know what time it is. We're inside exactly twelve minutes. That's why they put skylights in buildings. You see how he just goes. What are you doing? Tell the story. Why are you like that's why they put skylights in and really what is a skylight but a hole in the ceiling 11:59 So he also, you don't stop Tim, he will not stop. 12:09 very fun to watch anyways, uh so he invented that and that actually got adopted like there was some brought to you by blue apron by the way. 12:20 I just said that three. I know I'm just hoping to sponsor by this time comes out and I'll be like all right. Hey, this is brought to you by blue apron. We just dropped our podcast network. I'll talk some crap. uh We sent an email and I was like and we were like, Tim sent the email. He's very nice and professional and he goes, Hey, we went out ah and they responded like, we'd us set up call to know, you know, more about what we could do to help better the relationship. 12:46 and then ten meals back in ten emails back. He's like here's some times and then that guy in the back was like oh, it looks like it was all full. So anyway, back and forth for three weeks, they weren't selecting any times. Finally, I sent an email this week that said ah that said no need for a call. We asked to be released weeks ago. Please start transfer by Friday and you know what happened within hours. Yeah, we got the transfer. We got the email and they were like okay, we'll pass you order Chris so he can transfer you 13:10 Yeah, I've decided that I'm not being nice to people anymore and that podcast network was your mom's house studio with old Tommy Segura and Christina P yeah yeah it wasn't. It wasn't. It was evergreen cast network who wasn't bringing us ads and since we've left we've acquired blue apron square space 13:35 we're just we're just say and the Bible lap is the cool thing about podcast ads is you could just make it up and then go tell them to pay. That's the day odd job. That's sentiment in for our job. Hats owes me so much freaking money right now. We'll be invoicing you yeah use my promo code. We should give someone else's promo code what's like, but then they get the revenue yeah, but like what's P Holmes problem? 14:05 I join square space with promo code. You made it weird. That's pizza podcast. Yeah, all right anyways, ah so little he invented this thing and it got picked up. I eat house and Pete has skylights that I was looking through and I was like what are skylights but holes in the roof? 14:26 Wow. Did previous skylights, they didn't put, they didn't think to put glass over it because they, know, they just didn't have that. I just didn't have that. And back then the plane would reach through with its claw. It would try to grab mail, but then it would grab babies and drop the kids off at different places. And that's how the myth of the stork started. You see how male your bits are. The male plates were taking baby. 14:52 the female planes were making them and the male planes were tanking. 15:02 so his little continuous mail bag delivery system got adopted by a handful of places. Oh did it for real yeah a bunch of post offices throughout the country. We had pictures of what those like because they would still have those in like a museum right. I mean it wasn't widely used. It was I know but that contraption would probably still exist. I would think so but like I this was the only diagram I was able to find of it. The continuous mail bag delivery system or whatever so it wasn't like 15:29 it wasn't something that we have like a uh okay good large record of sure. He also invented this pellet air seeding system, which think of it kind of like uh like fly over crop dusting, but with actual like seeds and so you fly over okay from the sky. He invented that. I think what lot of stuff he was just trying to figure out how to use plain yeah he's like he's like the plane's cool. He's like this has got it. got to I got to figure out how to make money like uh 15:58 That's a hundred. That is the FAA wouldn't let him fly and so he's like he's like I got to figure out a different way and so he was inventing a bunch of stuff is really the point. Okay, he's always inventing always inventing coming up with new ideas. Most of his inventions went nowhere except for these three, so I we've hit two of them and then on early December, 1941 he goes to New Mexico for vacation and while I and this trip to New Mexico, he goes to let me get you the name of them. 16:28 I mean here's the thing he picked New Mexico for his vacation. Not a lot of things to do in New Mexico. Yeah, and so he goes to Carl's bad caverns. Think of fantastic caverns without the fantastic and I don't know that is. Did you ever go to fantasy caverns? Yeah, yeah, fantastic caverns. If you don't know north of Springfield, there are these caverns that have a of slight that's in slag. Let me do it. This week sponsor is fantastic caverns. 16:57 a cave system just north of Springfield, Missouri. Hey, if they can afford all those billboards, they can afford us for sure. Yeah, they got billboards, but it's a is it America? Is it America's first or America's only ride through cave? It's the only only ride through cave where you have little jeeps. Yep. Little jeeps that are that are electric and you sit in this long tram and they drive you through this cave. It's very cool. It's actually really, really cool. And there's one part where you have to like lay down in the Jeep because the ceiling solo it's pretty sweet. ah 17:26 But yeah, stalactites, stalagmites, the whole thing. uh He goes through one of these, not a drive-through cave, not very fantastic, honestly. um Probably a while, I guess this is just after the prohibition. So maybe there's the remnants of the, because they have a speakeas, they had a speakeas, Fantastic Caverns, right? Yeah. So yeah, okay. And so anyways, goes through the whole thing. While he's there, he sees all these bats and he's like, man, bats are cool, aren't they? 17:53 like and so he's thinking about bats all day and but he's in the game. That's yeah. My wife saw me smiling on my phone the other day. I was cheating on her or looking at blue room comedy club downfall and I was like now I'm just looking at pictures of bats. I'm just thinking about the bad just thinking about bad. Excuse me, just thinking about that. Honestly, that's worse. I'm just thinking about that. What are you doing over there? 18:27 I don't understand this bit. What are you doing? What is it? I'm just thinking about that. Okay, I don't. I genuinely can't figure out this. I was trying to get upside down. oh 18:43 with the Queen. Oh yeah, I forgot the Queen sleeps like that. Oh yeah. Why my voice do that? uh Yeah, I did a drive through tour of the Queen's Palace Skylights. She had a light everywhere, so he's thinking about baths. He's in New Mexico with his family, his famous man. It's a great time for us to connect and really get to know each other and he's a bat. Yeah and so 19:12 they see Carl's bad, whatever the whole thing happens and they start their drive home. It was a road trip and listening to AM radio coming across the news of Pearl Harbor because that's when they were there. And so he hears this thing and he has this like overwhelming sense of like patriotism and he's like, I've got to come up with some way that I can help help with the war. Like we're obviously going to war. Okay. Fight. 19:40 fight back with his can't go un- responded to. And so he's thinking about bats, he's thinking about Pearl Harbor, thinking about war. What can we do? 19:56 and so he says you know what? What do you smile about over there? I think about Pearl Harbor. What excuse me and so he gets back home and he's like you know what? I think the world is a is it. This is important information that I've got and I know about what about bats, about bats. 20:20 So he has a theory. Here's here's where he gets he's like I have a theory that if we create a bomb that was essentially we took out all the insides of a bomb and we filled it with twenty thousand bats. That's what I thought about. I was going to be. I'm glad that this is what I thought about bomb was going to be. I was like there's no way this yeah. You know what? There is a way that this guy is probably going to try to drop a bunch of bats in one place. 20:49 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's a bunch of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim. Like we really look it's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk we have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way please share the episode tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 21:22 and like of course, a stupid person would go. What have we just filled a gigantic bowl full of bats like twenty thousand? That's well, here's the thing is the thing and like of course half of them are going to die in transit. It wasn't just it was not just that we're going to put a bunch of bats in the bomb because here's what the here's the thing while he was on the tour. They talked about the bats in the cave and the tour guide was like, here's the thing about bats. Bats are are very, very little creatures, but they can 21:50 being less than 14 grams, they can carry up to 18 grams at a time. And so they're very strong creatures. Right. And so, uh, so he was like, we can strap explosives to these bats. And then when we dropped the bat bomb, they'll scatter, fly around and then below 22:14 Oh no, no, no, I'm glad that we've thought it more out because the idea that I thought was right. But then you explain it further and I was like, Oh, is dumb. But then you say that they're going to blow up. Oh, but here's where it gets better. He's like, he's like, but if we could time the explosives where they were on a timer, then what bats do, they roost before dawn every day. So they're going to fly around the city and they're going to find places in addicts and on ceilings and under awnings and they're going to roost. 22:44 in structures all over the city and then they're going to blow up. Yeah. And then it takes it one step further and he says, well, actually he says bombs are one thing, but what if they're incendiary devices? Because Tokyo is famously a city built out of wood, every structure there is a wooden structure. And so if we have them all be fire bombs, then we're going to cause a lot more damage more quickly. And he says, 23:12 probably more humane because there's gonna be less loss of life. Except for the bats. Okay. 23:22 and so he begins. He begins kind of putting together this this idea yeah of ah how to use bats for bombs for terrorism. Oh yeah 23:38 Okay, yeah and so he he here's the thing. Here's the thing we need to. I hear there's we need to just run out the front right. uh He he wrote a letter and I'll tell you who he wrote this letter to in a second FDR. He wrote this letter and in this letter he he knew that some people were going to think that there was like hey you're going to kill a bunch of animals with this bomb. That's not that's not a good thing no, but he said in this letter he said the bat is the lowest form of animal 24:07 animal life and up until now, that's not true. That's not true by the way lowest form of animal life is let's say together on three one two three the Chupac 24:25 What were you gonna say? I was gonna say your lizard that you have at your house. 24:32 He was, said that the bats are the lowest form of animal life and that up until now reasons for its creation have remained unexplained. And then he went on to like espouse this grand narrative about the lowest. No, I've got it. I've got the lowest form of animal life. We'll say it together on three. Ready? One, two, three realtors. 24:59 great. We got a bunch of realtors mad at us last time and I'll tell you what I couldn't care less. I would love to put twenty thousand real terms gigantic ball because here's the thing about realtors. Here's what they do. 25:11 right is that they get into a community and they start to infuse themselves and I roost and they find like twelve people to annoy that and so what we could do is we could plant them in a little communities and then we could just get them to be like, Hey, do you need a home? Do you need a home? Do you get home and then they'll do all the stuff that we wanted to do and they're super strong. I don't know if you know this realtor's are realters 25:39 they're strong. They could carry like four pounds more than what they weigh. So okay continuous. Who do you write this letter to? I read the letter first, so then so he goes on this grand narrative about the creation of bats and then he closes about how the okay start over from the top of like how they're the lowest form. Yeah, so bad to the lowest form of animal that up until now, the reasons for his creation have remained unexplained. 26:00 and then he goes and oh God made them for this. He goes to this grand narrative about the creation of bats and how they're useless. They've been useless throughout history and nobody likes them and then and then he says uh that they were created by God to await for this hour to play their part in the scheme of free human existence and to frustrate any attempt of those who dare desecrate our way of life. He wrote this to the New York Times to be brought to be printed in newspaper didn't he's like he's like bats exist for us to bomb 26:30 the Japanese. No, he wrote that to his good friend Eleanor Roosevelt. I was literally I was literally going to make a joke that he would send it to Eleanor instead of Franklin. Yeah, yeah, so he was good friends with Eleanor Roosevelt. They go way back and so he wrote this letter. We're talk about her pet raccoons. Didn't she have pet raccoons? She did have pet raccoons. I don't know a lot about that. I do know she had pet raccoons though yeah, which is tough pretty cool. 26:59 I mean that no right, uh so she so he sends us thank you. It's in this letter to Eleanor detailing the idea of bomb, a bomb made of bats uh and then why just want to learn more about FDR and Eleanor's relationship. You know yeah, so so curious, so he sends that letter and she reads it and she's like. This is convincing. This is pretty. He makes a good point 27:29 bats do suck. That's the central premise is you kind of have to start with bats or bad suck with yeah. You start with yeah. We hate that. You know yeah I yes yes I can yeah I've yes ah so she reads the letter and then she sits down at the dinner table and she says Frankie I got this letter today Frank. Do you think she called him that? I mean I would be surprised if she called him Franklin. I think she called him 27:57 Mr. President, think it was Delador, Delador, Elador, no yeah. She called the Mr. President, so she said Mr. Pres, I'll tell you right now. If I got into office, I'd make my wife call me Mr. President. She'd be like yeah, but Jaren, excuse me, I don't know who that is. Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are? I am 28:27 I am the one who knocks. I'm just quoting this quoting crazy, crazy things to her. So yeah, so she says, she says, Hey, she's a president. I got a letter from an old friend today and he says, uh, why thing he was smiling like that and she says, I think it'll help us with the war and what's about the bats and he goes, I hate the bats. 28:50 that's a good. She goes that's perfect. You can actually skip the page exactly. Well, first two pages are just about how bad bat and now you know that you know that all pormen to the fire. He's doing a fireside chat to the fire. She's like okay, here's the page three is page three and so I think I need the bottom of page two for context. the part of it. 29:20 this says this is page one gosh. This is bad are and then there's some stuff that's a little burnt good. I disagree. Okay, no, so it outlines the whole plan of how this is possible. What you're going to do. He's got schematics that he made of like how the back could work and so she shows us that the is the this is the male guy yeah. She shows this FTR FTR knows him too, but that gets more like 29:45 this is a friend of my wife, so he at him. He knows a friend of my wife yeah. This is more a friend of my wife. 29:57 and so he reads it yeah. Sometimes I hate when I got to hang out my I like most of my wife's friends, but she's got a couple of them. They're like one of them won't shut up about bats. Every time he's over for dinner, he's like yeah, but you know so after he reads a letter and he's like dang. I this is pretty convincing, so he 30:18 he know I idolize this guy. I like him. He said he sends the letter with to William J Donovan, who's the director of the OSS, which is basically the CIA of the time yeah, and he puts a cover letter on it the cover letter is like basically practicing the letter and in the letter he says listen. The man is not a nut. This is a direct quote. The man is not a nut. It sounds like a perfectly wild idea, but it's worth your time looking into bats B A T S 30:46 bombs and terrorism stuff. It's a B dot, you know, 30:54 So long as they're short because FDR signed off on this. The OSS was like all right. We'll look into it. And so they put together a strategic whatever you say boss within the army to begin investigating if this is going to be possible. Yeah. So they get a group of engineers together. Coincidentally they're working in New Mexico just outside of uh the cave of the cave in Carlsbad. Their military base there and so they start working on 31:24 and how how involved is Doctor Little Adams? Oh, so it's very interesting. They call him and they were like hey, you can come lead the project. Why don't you come down in New Mexico lead this project? I was hoping I was hoping I was yeah, so they took him. would hate for the government to take my idea yeah, you know yeah yeah. You send it to them and they just start doing it without you. That's pretty brutal, but yeah they put together. They put together this crazy group of people, so Eleanor 31:53 TV. Eleanor, they're doing, they're doing bat bombs. 32:02 Get in here! They're doing bad! 32:08 stole my idea. That's a deep call that bombs.nz.com 32:20 so they put together this a bomb. Oh dude, someone's trying to, someone's trying to buy a relaxing night for his life. Someone's like, someone's like what if what am I going to bath bomb for my wife? Right? She's to be able to put it in there. Just relax. I'm going to take the kids will leave the house right now and he actually goes to bat bombs dot com and then he gets it. He didn't realize and she puts it in the tub and they freaking you know they do a bad stew. 32:49 and he's out with the kids and she frantically calls and she's like there's bats in the house. He's like don't let them roost. They're going to blow up. You know yeah, so they tell Adams they say okay, you put together your group of people who are going to work on this project will give you whatever resources you need to be able to build these bombs and test them here in New Mexico and so Adams assembles his group and because somebody has to individually put these little bombs on the little bomb backpacks on these bats right. 33:18 Yeah, there's like an assembly line of like 33:28 and they all look like they're going off to bat school. They got a little bat, a little bomb backpacks. Yeah, I like that, uh so he puts together a group. He gets a mammologist named Jack von Blocher. Okay, he gets a former hotel manager, a former gangster, strange, um a scientist and then a whole group of self described bat lovers, which I don't think they actually love bass because they're trying to blow him up, but that's a different point. Do they know that when they sign up for this though? Oh totally and then actor Tim Holt 33:58 for some reason. I think it was just like I'd love to have that actor on our team. We all know Tim Holt and he was like a Western. He was an actor in the Westerns. This is the yeah, the early forties and so okay, uh he just was like I like that actor. Let's get him on the team and the government was like we can do whatever we want where the go war and so war time. It's war time. Everybody's got to be involved and so it was very clear that we can do anything as long you don't tell the people that FDR is in a wheelchair. Yeah, 34:32 as long as you keep that secret, but yeah. So they start working on this project and I'd love this quote from this point in the project there by uh other name, Jack Kofor, who wrote the book on bat bonds and this quote is hilarious. He says it seemed that none of them had considered the morality or the ecological consequences of sacrificing a few million bats, a few million yeah. So yeah, none of them thought if we take these out of these of this ecosystem, what's that going to do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because I mean I 35:02 Yeah, I don't know how far we were in like biological sciences at that point. If we recognize like the impact of that was going to make on right ecosystem to remove that many, right, uh but anyways, they started working on this project sure right about the same time that this project kicked off. We discovered napalm and so we started using napalm and weaponry heck yeah and so he was like that is perfect. We need napalm, napalm attached to the bats wolf uh so 35:31 there's a handful of things that they had to figure out is one. How are we to get all these bats? How are we to catch all these bats? So they had to put together a program of there was people you're looking at your enemies in war. Hey, you're a real sorry. You're going to real sorry. Once I get all these bats for five, one, two, just angrily picking bats. Yeah. 36:00 there was legitimately a decent sized group of uh army soldiers who enlisted for the war effort in World War Two who got shipped to New Mexico. Yeah, the war really I saw bloodshed on the front lines. I was at sea battleship versus battleship when I watched those there's no movies dedicated to my platoon. 36:28 which was in the caves of New Mexico picking bats. 36:37 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little Tillen QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your Lord and Savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. m 37:07 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 37:35 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 37:58 Did you hear it? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Give him a high five. Make him feel good about his art. 38:13 and then you're to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 38:23 I don't want to be. I hate skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. Yeah. YouTube premium leave all this in that. 38:37 So they picked the Mexican free tailed bat species. They sent a bunch of army men. They got permission from the National Park Service. I crazy they they're like hey, we need to take a bunch of bats off of your land and they were like, it's not like we can say no, is it? And they're like, I mean, no. And so all the soldiers came in and they just started picking up the bats and they took them back to the military base and they realized now, okay, now we got to figure out how we're going to transport these. 39:04 and they realized pretty quickly, like if we can't just leave them loose in these bombs, because if they're inside there, they get loose, they start moving around. There's a possibility that they accidentally detonate trigger it. Yeah. And then there's a catastrophic chain reaction and we don't want that. So they started, uh, they decided, what if we have a series of basically ice cube trays and we stick them in the ice cubes and then we freeze them and then, yeah. And so 39:31 Oh, the same with the, with the flies. Yeah. We force them into hibernation. And then when we let them out, they'll wake up on the fall, like they'll unfurl the thaw and the wake up on the fall and they'll be fine. Uh, so they did a, they did a test of this. They best did not wake up, a bunch of bats in the ice, dropped a bunch of frozen bats. They flew them over the desert. I I know what the same field where we tested the atomic bombs. We flew over the desert with this bat bomb. 39:53 and we dropped this by they didn't have a napalm attached to it at this point. No. Yeah. It was just a, it was just a test to see it was just to drop a couple hundred thousand dead bats. They dropped it. The bomb opened up and the bats fell out and they just fell all the way to the ground and it was just was raining bats and none of them woke up. They were all dead because they froze them to death. The government spent your hard money on spent your grandparents hard earned money on that. 40:22 and so they had to figure out a different way to force them into hibernation. They ended up figuring out a different cooling method that will put them out of uh sleep, hibernate, go to bed, comply, comply, ha ha 40:43 Oh my gosh, devil. Do we have we talked about how this is making us bald? Not make an os ball. What are you talking about? Why would you say that one of our patrons said that this stuff is making us bald? Yeah, okay. Here's my thing. Here's the thing. The science doesn't support that. There's actually been a lot of peer reviewed studies conducted by people not associated with Celsius at all that have said that there is no link. 41:08 Yeah, and actually I'll tell you what this study that was not funded by Celsius told me that this was the main reason that girls liked me. Yeah, it's actually saying that it makes me hairier. I literally said that it said you're hairier because of this. This week sponsor bang energy drinks, bang, bang, baby, just Photoshop something over this. No, there was someone sent that in our discord like oh Celsius is causing hair loss. Here's the thing you got to think about the people who are and I said this earlier 41:37 Yeah, you got to think about the people who are choosing to drink Celsius. They're doing it because you know it's an energy supplement of like oh, I need more energy. That means you don't have a stable level of energy or enough to carry through the day, which could be multiple factors like lack of sleep, overworking out diets, not dialed in. I do it I like the little boost, but but there's multiple factors that could lead to that. 42:03 that, so you would have to get people who are identical in their sleep diet workout patterns now that also drink Celsius to see if this is causing us to lose our hair. Yeah, I don't think it is though, and the main reason is I don't like that. 42:20 so you have studies and research, but I have no bomber. I have no nothing can beat my no. So they this is causing you to lose your hair though for me. Something's doing it for you. You're not bothering, but for me, I don't want to be balding. Yeah, I don't think you 42:45 So so they come up with a different plan to cool the to cool the the bats to a lower degree, like not not freeze them, but to get them cool enough where they hybrid hibernate and then take off and go drop them. And then they pared down these bombs. They took they repurposed bombshells. And so they were actual uh shells and bombs that they repurposed. They put a bunch of 43:10 air holes in so that they could breathe. Sure. And then they put circular disks all the way across this that could hold a total of a thousand bats. They pared it down to thousand bats and each disk would hold a handful of it was like a 30 inch wide. Yeah. And so each disk would hold a handful of them. And the concept was simple. The bomb, the bomber would fly over, drop this bomb. This bomb would fall to about four thousand feet. A parachute would then trigger and the parachute would lower the bomb to Earth safely. 43:39 As it was lowering, the side panels of this would open up and release the bats who are now awake because they fell to a warmer altitude. Okay. Then they would wake up and they disperse throughout wherever you dropped the bomb. And then with those incendiary bombs, there was a timer on it. So then it would give them enough time to go roost somewhere, get into buildings, get inside places. And then the fires would erupt and it would burn everything. And the idea is you're dropping hundreds of these at a time. So you're flying over, just dropping hundreds of these bombs. And then you've got. 44:09 hundreds mass chaos that's yeah and so something to the effect of this, but imagine all those are explosive uh sure uh and so then of course they had to figure out the backpack thing and so they put together a system where these literally just like satchel to their back and this looks like they put a battery like a big yeah. It looks like this probably want to be able to fly, but it could fly just fine with them and so 44:39 They did a bunch of test drops with these bats into uh the same wilderness where we tested the nuclear bombs. And after they were able to be like, okay, these are dropping and getting out safely. Now it's time to blow some up. They strapped a bunch of these and they dropped them. ah when they dropped them, they dispersed and they flew into the base and they set the base on fire. 45:10 so anyway guys, this works really well. So yeah, two hangers caught on fire. That is car raise a couple barracks caught on fire. Here's the thing. This was a top secret project project, so no one on base knew about it, knew what was going on and so and also they couldn't tell them they couldn't tell us of a bad thing. All of a sudden half the base catches on fire and there's like bat carcasses there and they're like what's going on and no one was able to know that's crazy that it worked. Yeah, yeah, it worked. Also 45:39 what idiots to be like. Let's drop this near. I mean like it's going to burrow into buildings. What's proper near ours? Yeah, let's drop it near ours. Yeah, yeah, definitely true. The plan was this and so yeah, they let that happen crazy. Wow. So after this, the army was like, hey, don't love that. And they were like, but this is where we had a breakthrough. It works. It's working. And the army was like, let's transfer this project to the Navy. 46:08 and they were like okay, the navy took it and the navy didn't have any like issues with it like this. This is now nineteen forty three. By the way, we're deep into the war. Sure, ah the navy didn't have any major issues like this, but they pretty quickly the people officers, the navy were like we think you should go to the marines. We think this would be better served with seems like some dumb people and so later that december it ends up with marines ah and they had over and over started putting together 46:37 plans of how they were going to start to utilize these bombs. And one of the main ideas with this was that if you use these incendiary bombs, it causes catastrophic damage, but it causes catastrophic damage slowly. And so they wouldn't lead to a large cost loss of human life, but you could destroy civilian centers in the process. And so it would be a large strategic blow without killing a bunch of people. 47:06 ah But the government said, we don't like that. We're using the atom bombs instead. uh Yeah, yeah. So uh but they they went through this whole process. They got the National Defense Research Community to look into the bombs. And what they found from the bombs is that uh they did I say they renamed this project Xray Xray. No. OK, so they really needed a project Xray and they found that Xray was an effective. 47:36 weapon and they said that regular bombs would probably give somewhere in the ballpark of 167 to 400 fires per bomb load where we predict that a single x-ray bomb would give 3,625 to 4,748 fires and so this would be a strong weapon to use. And so more tests ended up being scheduled in mid-1944 and the program was then expected to be something that was deployed in Japan. 48:04 we are already at this point fire bombing Tokyo right, and so it's like we're going to use the bats now. It's going to be a cool fire bomb send in the bats send in the bats, but something interesting happens and I don't know if they understood the whole picture because they don't know the atom bomb is being developed right right. They think they're developing the super bomb that's going to end the war, which is hilarious. Where's their movie? So they think they're working on this bad heimer 48:34 and it's just a slow motion of him looking up and realizing what he's done. I've destroyed Japan, what is but also the cave ecosystem of New Mexico. What is so crazy is that they weren't testing these in the same desert in New Mexico. Oh yes, they're out there and they're like like okay, I'm it's really hard to do the calculations for this bat bomb when all those big gigantic never heard before booms are happening over there. 49:03 Also, to be fair, one team did destroy half the base and the other team didn't other team didn't do that seems yeah. Yeah, that is very true. uh So the government basically comes down and says, hey, we think that this is too expensive. Yeah, these bombs, it's a whole thing. We've got to gather all the bats. We've got to learn to transport them. We got it's a whole 49:28 I got to put them to sleep this. We just got to split an out. Boom, I it's so much easier to split the atom of a molecule to get a bunch of bats and it's bad horrific even ah alters the course of humanity for the rest of humanity. Yeah, but 49:47 easier yeah, but easier. Well, here's the crazy thing and so they can't it. The reason they can't it and I just I don't believe the cover story. I think the car. think what really happened is they're like we got a better bomb cancel this project yeah, but the cover story is that they cancel it because of the cost because it had burned at this point. Get ready for this. The total cost of this project was two million dollars and they said that's too much. We spent too much money on this project. How much did the atom bomb cost way more than that? 50:17 way more than that. ah How much Adam BAM cost biceps? See the Adam BAM development cost was it cost two billion dollars. I cost literally a thousand times more yeah. 50:37 So it's funny because if you're just in for inflation, the bat bomb cost thirty four million dollars in twenty, twenty four. Yeah, if you just for inflation, the atom bomb cost thirty four billion dollars in twenty, twenty four to develop that. We said the bat bombs too expensive too much. The bats, the bats are too expensive. It's kind of more Eleanor's thing and now that Truman's in charge. Yeah, I think I genuinely think what happened at he wants to drop the bomb. I genuinely think what happened is Truman came into power 51:06 Truman found out about the atomic bomb was like cancel the bad bomb thing. That's crazy. We have this, but we also have bats and FDR. After I was like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's my wife's friend. You got a lot of down easy. Okay, like we did that just because but didn't Truman come to power because FDR died. 51:26 this is your scenario. He's still there. He's go. You're like you're like he's still there. hey, hey, hey, you're going to be visiting my three ghosts tonight about why the bads are the better solution of the atomic bomb in the clock strikes high noon. I don't think I don't think you're written. Oh, it's high. I forgot. Okay, okay, yeah. So what do you mean? We are I don't FDR wouldn't have left 51:55 Yeah, you're right. You're right mid war. FDR was like well got this thing started time to go you guys later. So yeah, FTR FTR comes to true. is like that's why I've seen you can't let you can't let that stop. You got a big like you're not here anymore and so she did. He decides to let a little down little Adams down easy and says hey sorry man, the money spence it. We can't keep doing that buck stops here. Yeah. Yeah, we the bad we have no more bucks to put towards this 52:25 And so it ends up not being ever used in service, but it was developed, it was tested, and there was multiple versions of this. And it was deemed by research in the military that this was an effective weapon to be used in warfare. And genuinely, I think that there's an alternate universe where the atom bomb doesn't get developed in time and we use this instead. 52:46 because this was seen as a much more effective weapon than the weapons that we were using. Do you think we'd have the nuclear trees that we have now? Had we not dropped those bombs 52:58 I'm saying the atomic bombs, but I think I think seeing what that I mean a people of was a turning point for yes, the entire world, but I think I think you still see that in tests. I think if I think if people I don't think you see it to the magnitude of like lie like you see a field destroyed. Of course yeah, that's not as Tano 53:22 Yeah, maybe, maybe true. I don't know. How do we drop the bat bomb? That's what I'm saying is I think it would have taken someone else dropping the atomic or us dropping it somewhere other time yeah for it to have reached the level of peace that we did yeah after that yeah because it does. I mean after that everyone was kind of like 53:41 well, we can't really do war anymore because this is this will be the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good point. I don't know. I would think I would think that it would still be a thing just because of the 53:59 even if it's not used on anyone, you know the power of those things. You see it yeah, but I think a but I think but I but I'm saying is I think it's the thing where Truman, I think Truman said this later. I was like he regretted dropping the bombs yeah because like that's what that's what I'm saying though is that you knew the destruction was going to cause in theory. That's all theory yeah, but until it happens well to be fair. I think then the whole world agrees the whole world comes together. It was like ah, so we're never doing that again. 54:28 Well, I think I think part of that was Truman had some bad Intel. He I don't think he of course that to be as much civilian damage as was caused of oh yeah. Of course, of course, as far as like drop sites. Yeah, yeah, but still damage. Yeah, you know, yeah, I just might be something. There might be something there. I don't know. I don't know. I wonder how that would have changed history had the bat bomb had the bat bomb been the first, you know, been used. I don't know. Maybe we could live to see the bat bomb used. Yeah, maybe we can revive it. What I can say for sure is that 54:57 doctor little was not a good person to put on a top secret mission because immediately he goes back to his practice and every patient he's sitting over them. He's like you know I spent the last couple of years dropping dead bats and the uh new Mexico desert, New Mexico desert. Yeah, yeah, we blew him up though. uh I hate when they talk to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 55:21 I came to Mexico, you're gonna this time here. I I... I think better than this atomic bomb. You I've always said that I don't understand why bats exist. Why did God make those things? The rats of the sky! I think God made them for such a time as this. God designed these to carry tiny terrorist backpacks. 55:45 And so he talks so much about him that it was like the subject line of the inventor is dead uh and so he they have also. didn't say this yet, but this is very important. He's born in paint lick Kentucky. That's the name of the town paint lick two words paint lick crazy uh and then yeah. They talk about his inventions and one of them is the bat bomb and in his uh in his obituary. He also it's on his grave. 56:13 mentor the air mail pick up system bat warfare project in aerial pellet seating. Wow, because you know, I mean it was a great a great idea. Even if it didn't really get used very much, I vent her liked it. Wow, what's going to be on your tombstone? Definitely nothing about bats. I mean, I don't know. That's the crazy thing. I was thinking about this in the last last week's episode about Xi Jinping. He did so much stuff before he came the de facto ruler of China. 56:43 like you know. I think that's that's the thing I think about a lot lately. Like we still just have so much time left like unless we screw ourselves up and we die early like cut all this. Maybe maybe we just cut all this our life. Maybe a better life. Other stuff could happen. Just cut it all out. Just you know though. You know the the most common age of homeless people are homeless men in the United States. Yeah, so still time to screw your life up. That's the takeaway 57:12 Or make it better, I don't know, but probably not. 57:16 Oh, lads, talking. You let him go long enough. He either starts talking about skylights or he makes it really sad. Wow, wow, good way. You sure the balloon I got you another balloon. It's all the way over there. Oh no, yeah, but says get well soon. Does it? It doesn't, but you'll never know. 57:40 I am happy to be here. I loved it. I hope that my tombstone says a podcaster. He was happy to be here happy to happy to be here. That's crazy. I'm happy to be here on my tombstone. That's crazy. Now yours will say fiddle off. There you go. Yeah, 58:04 you're gonna die before me for sure. Hey, if you like that episode, please share it with somebody. Tell somebody about this podcast. We've done three hundred of these things now and we've got plenty more. I that means you have three hundred to choose from to go back and listen to one of them. You can go back and listen or watch his chrome dome where we used to just fly planes all over the world with nuclear bombs just in case you know, it's just kind of like a middle drop one today and all the accidental drop bomb droppings that happened with that story as well. So 58:29 really the whole thing is a please share this show. Please help us keep growing it. If you want to help us grow it even faster, you can join us on patreon. You're not missing out on a whole lot. You just get next week's episode for free or included an ad free and you get to be part of our discord. So like if you'd love to be part of that, that'd be great. It's a way to financially support the show anyway. We're just happy that you're here. Thanks to Alex for sitting through all this stuff for two hundred something episodes. He joined pretty late 58:55 and but he's been here for now to a hundred and ninety something episode. The first ten. I don't think he was really part of but for two hundred ninety episodes he's been here. So thanks to him there's a we've done three hundred of these and we're going to do five thousand more. Oh my gosh, we're never going to stop doing this show. I promise genuinely from bottom my heart. We're never going to stop. Yeah, you're not allowed to stop. I know I'm not the one who's here against my will.


The bat bomb was one of the most unusual ideas to emerge from the World War II era. It mixed wildlife, explosive science, and creative military strategy. This unusual weapon did not gain fame, yet it reveals how far nations will go during war. Today, we can look back and learn from its wild history. A Military Idea Born in … Read More

How XI Jinping Took Control of China

11-11-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of this guy? Man, you describe him for audio listeners. This is this is what's his last name? Zhong Ping, she's on thing, she's eating she's in ping, she's in ping, she's in ping. Yeah, this is the are we learning about you good China China, the what of our to what is this? He's the president right like that what their title title isn't president. The title. I mean he's the president is what it is, but 00:29 and the title is. Let me see what's. What do they call it? It's president. They call it the general secretary of the Chinese Communist Party is what he is. Okay. Are we learning about the Chinese Communist Party? No, we're learning about Xi Jinping. Oh, okay. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, so sorry for listening to this pretty light episode. So if you listen to this China, because you're not going to be able to, there's a last, I don't know, a couple hours before they censored over there because we're going to tell the truth and nothing but the 01:02 That's crazy is what I was saying. Food. Life. Labor. Another one. 01:15 I'm full of y'alls. 01:24 Things I learned last night. 01:32 so she was in a plane and aliens took over his flight and they were like you. We have a leader for the Chinese Communist Party and he was like. What is that? That's how he talks. What is that the Chinese Communist Party? They were like yes, this is all history yeah and then the mud floods happened. A lot of people don't know this according to a girl. I was 02:02 I had a big crush. Here's the thing man and we talked. Do we talk about that on the show already? We already talk about okay, okay, okay, good. I mean she's not going to listen to it. I don't know she might. What if she does? You know who you are, 02:20 Yeah, I keep screenshot of your store. said to Jared and and then you were like, you know, Instagram tells you what you screed. It does. Does it? I thought it did at one point was like this person screenshot of your story. But anyway, yeah, I have screenshot all of our stories just to send them to you. I love that. And then they're seeing your camera roll. That's crazy. All right. What are friends for? But to screenshot stuff well, 02:48 Yeah, you want to talk about Xi Jinping, guess let's do it. Yeah, so Xi Jinping, he was born in nineteen fifty three Beijing. Okay, June fifteen, Xi Jinping is born. ah This is his father. His name is Xi Zhang Jun, very significant person in the history of China, okay, more than the fact that his son ends the current right, right, right, right, because he was a part of 03:16 the communist revolution, and so he he went with now should now jidong. uh There's a lot of names in this just and I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not going to remember all of them, so it's halfway through this. Is it another episode where none of these names are really that relevant? You can just say his dad. Yeah, I guess you're right. All right, yeah, yeah, we can do that. So his dad, his dad and mal we now know mal yeah his dad and mal were leading 03:46 like generals in the revolution and they ended up uh 03:53 his dad, uh she's dad ended up being a person who housed Mao during the revolution and gained a ton of favor with now and ended up becoming a key figure in Mao's party. When Mao took over as the president of China after the revolution and his role, what year was the revolution? um It was in the believe is the twenty twelve. No, 04:22 I think it was like the thirties. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Nineteen thirty two thirty six. It looks like. Okay. ah And so his dad, she and ball, she she's blasting his dad, John June. uh He rose to a leading role in the government. None of that matters by the 04:49 I just think it's confusing if I'm just saying is not I get confused saying his dad. So I feel like I have to give you his name. She's dad. um He's he's he gets a leading role in the military. He's a part of a couple of roles. OK, ends up moving up in the in the in the party, the new Chinese Communist Party to a key role under Mao's government and all the way to a point where he's a part of what's called the eight elders, which is essentially the top of the government. 05:18 which is pretty sick, pretty yes, very sick. Also, they also go by eight immortals. Honestly, can we also talk about how them being called the founding fathers is pretty sick and they weren't doing it for a branding thing or whatever, but that's that goes pretty hard. I don't think they called themselves the founding fathers. I know okay. Okay, I so say they weren't like hey guys were the founding fathers yeah, but I'm saying whoever did that even the Nate like even whoever named them that 05:49 wasn't doing it to be like like a big brother Alliance name like one of the founding fathers. You know, like they weren't trying to be cool. Yeah, yeah, but founding fathers does go pretty hard. Founding fathers is sick. That is pretty. Yeah, I've never thought about that, but you're right. That actually does go pretty dang hard. You know, yeah, it's the alliteration and then what the eight elders, the eight elders. Yeah, they go by the elders. 06:14 and or really sick. They're also sometimes referred to as the eight immortals, which turned out not to be true, um but spoilers, um but now turned out it was only two of them that were more. 06:31 the two of the two of the immortals. I guess you're going to have to put two as implies that it's plural. Yeah, huh, so things were going great until the cultural revolution, which is when now was like hey, what if everybody here thought exactly the same way as I do and then he just basically killed everybody. He disagreed with them. Yeah, she was one of those. He was consistently 07:00 He had disagreements with Mao over his handling of land rights and he consistently was pretty outspoken publicly about how he thought that Mao was handling land rights incorrectly. ah And as a response to this, when the Cultural Revolution kicked off, one of the big things that happened in the Cultural Revolution is they did these like public embarrassment things. And so people who disagreed with Mao, specifically people in like the party, like at the top of the government, 07:27 they would pull them out into the streets and parade them through the streets and everybody would have to like boo them and like say how dumb they were in public. uh And if you didn't go along with it, you were one of the, became one of the outcasts too. Yeah. And so like she, Jim ping was a part of this where he watched his dad get prayed through the streets and he had to like make a decision. What year is that? This would be, let me see the late sixties. 07:57 sixty eight sixty nine and so she's in paying watches. He's a teenager watches his dad's parade through the streets. His mom like renounces him, his father and is like making fun of her dad and then it starts as like ridicule and then it turns into like beatings and then they get outcasted. So it like I say make fun of that's not really what was happening. It was like public ridicule, defamation, beating and then kicked out of the city right and outcast and so his dad was outcasted. 08:27 His dad was outcasted. And so this was a drastic change in she's life because she's whole childhood up to this. He's 15 when this happens his whole childhood. He's living in basically like palaces because he's the top of the government. And so he's got everything at his fingertips. He's got the world before him. They've got all this absolute power and then all of a sudden it's just stripped away from them. And he is then shipped off to go work in a labor camp. Xi Jinping because his dad was ousted. And so he gets shipped off to oh 08:53 um into the countryside to work at a labor camp. Oh, oh the name doesn't matter. He worked at a labor camp in some village where he, and he was excited. We love growth. We love watching someone step into the new person that they are. You go King. Thank you. That was really fun to watch. I will make Tim a good podcaster. If it takes me 10 years, I'll tell you what. 09:23 I got good for a little bit there and then I stopped. I know we all know we've all been sitting here being like whoa. What happened? Tim was at? Well, if you go back about a hundred episodes, you got the opposite of pretty yips. You don't talk about where it's like you accidentally got good for like two years and then you were like ah, the opposite of the yips. I got the pie piece, guys piece. How do you get? Yeah, he still got it, because whatever it was, whatever it was still there. 09:53 him trying to go Pia Pia Pia. This is worth our time. He's got the yips. I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. I made a whole tangent. You made a good move and then I wasted a lot of You know what that's on. Okay, so he gets sent at fifteen. He gets he gets sent to a labor camp. Yeah, and he actually was excited about it. I know we, I know we just said we should, but he genuinely he was excited because he 10:21 did he not know what it was like? He not he don't know the reality of what it was. ah I don't or is he like finally some adversity? No, it wasn't that it was. It was he was he was CCP through him through, so he was like he was like this is part of it yeah and like now was thought and he staunchly believed that like what they were doing in these camps was a good thing and so he thought he was going to learn some things. He thought oh this is going to be a good educational channel experience for me. This is going to strengthen my party alliances 10:51 And it's going to be a great thing. And then he learned that this is bad. It's very interesting because there's a quote. I'm going to pull up the quote, but it's it's very interesting because he talks about it. He almost talks about it like with like this nostalgia, like it was like a good time for him, but he also recognizes it wasn't a good time. So it's very interesting hearing him kind of like balance his uh his opinions on that era of his life, because on the one hand, 11:20 he does feel like it was valuable to him. Like he learned a lot of stuff like he grew a lot and it strengthened his opinion of the country, but on the other hand it was it was a label conditions yeah, and so he what he did not expect was how bad the conditions were going to be and how difficult it was going to be to live in that environment. Okay, he they the he thought they were treating him better. um 11:46 Yes. Yeah. He definitely thought they were treating them better. I don't think he thought that they were treating them well, but I don't think he thought that he were treating them as bad as they actually were treating them. Yeah. Um, he actually, he actually was living in a cave while he was in the labor camp. That's where they had them just in a cave underground. Um, all the laborers. And so he, don't think he expected that. Um, and he, as we mentioned, he came from literal palaces to living in a cave. Right. was a, it was a shock for him for sure. Um, but he calls it the five hurdles. 12:14 He's like, he's like, it was a great time because I was, I had to learn to overcome the five hurdles, which were flee food, life, labor and thought. And so you had to learn to overcome those five things, which were fleas. That's I was worried. Is fleas like, yeah, literal fleas. know, I have owed for come five obstacles in my life, hunger, tired, 12:46 It's food life. So obviously like you're, you could die labor, hard work. Thought is like dangerous thinking and doubt and things like that. And please, please. That's crazy. Food, life, labor, another one. 13:10 And fleas. 13:19 naked or thought food thought the other two every morning part. I'm going to wake up and I'm going to try to take on the five hurt. Yeah, I need to find the five hurdles today. Every time like you like you go somewhere and like they give you some bad food like hey, thank you for helping me overcome one of the five hurtles today. 13:47 I welcome this challenge. Thank you so he he he does six years in this labor camp and then uh he goes back to Beijing to study chemical engineering. I don't know exactly how this works out for him. Like I do know that this cultural revolution there was this this thing where it's like you would have to serve in these later camps until the malists 14:15 we're like okay, yeah, you're on the right side and so it was like until you could labor camps were a way of breaking you. was reeducation through labor got it was yeah and so I think what happened is they came and they like would quiz everybody and they're like okay. I you seem to get it and were the five hurdles what they were teaching or is this like actually going. There are five things that are hard about this like you know. I don't know for sure, but if they were like you have you must overcome the four hurdles 14:46 And he goes. 14:49 Like yes, there's a fifth one uh 14:57 there's there's one more you're forgetting. There's one more and then he tells them and they're like come with us to Beijing and they parade them through town. They're like this is the man who found the fifth heard of the flee boy flee flee flee flee. 15:22 Yeah, I don't think it's gonna get played in China. I don't think they're gonna let this play. They're gonna be cool with this. I don't think they're gonna be cool with it. Okay, so at seventy five he goes back to Beijing to study chemical engineering, which that it feels like a pretty big jump. mean like it's college free at this point. I guess I don't know. I just communism. I mean, here's what's really interesting about the Chinese Communist Party and honestly most successful forms of communism. 15:52 in the world is their communist ish. They're like communist light like they take a lot of those thought processes, but they're also dictatorships yeah, and so like they don't actually function the way a lot of communist ideology, unlike what we live in where the government has no true power and the dictators are the people who have the most money, Sam Altman and Larry Ellison and Larry Ellison and and you know musk, but like yeah. 16:22 it's yeah. I don't know. I don't know. It's so like in theory, it would be in fear, but in practice, probably not. I don't know the actual answer to that, but probably not. What it probably was was it was like it was free. If you if you were a line, yeah, yeah, it was free. If they decided it was free for you, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And so he goes to sing why university where he studies chemical engineering uh and then he gets a job as a military aid for the Central oh Military Commission. ah 16:51 I assume working in chemical engineering stuff, chemical engineering stuffs serves in that role for a small period, uh three years before the, the, was it? I'd curious. We need to look up how the college stuff works in China. Yeah. I don't actually, don't even now. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know now either. I'm not sure. uh But what was interesting is they had this thing. I can't remember the term for this. Like I think they called me young princes or something like that. 17:21 ah But there was this thing where you had these people who went through the communist revolution and they had the Maoist thought and they had some sort of connection to the party. And so for ah Xi Jinping, it was his father who was one of the eight immortals. Wasn't actually immortal. Now he's an outcast somewhere. ah But he ah had a connection. So he was considered one of the young princes. And so the young princes, they kind of had this interesting thing where they were all vying to take over the roles and 17:51 enter into these high government positions okay, and what typically would happen with these princes, even though his dad was an outcast at this point, he was still he was able to fight his way back through his re education and through accepting the Maoist doctrine, and so he and all the young princes. What typically they would do is they would go into Beijing and they would fight for these limited set of set of government position Beijing, but she's in paying. He was thinking a little bit outside the box. He said look, there's a lot of competition here in Beijing, 18:21 and he's like, but China's a big place and there's not a lot of competition in the other places, so he decided to go to a rural community. You got fleas going on. What's going on with you? What you talking? You're just really over here like I'm yeah, I'm just scratchy. 18:39 Thanks for watching our show. you like it, a great way to help out is by being a Patreon supporter. Doing that helps make this show possible, but it also gets a lot of perks for you. You can get every episode a week early ad free. You get access to a Discord where you can meet a lot of other people who love the show and actually hang out with Jaren and I every month on a hangout. And we're also in that Discord chat all the time, hanging, talking with people, talking about episodes and just random stuff in life. It's super fun. 19:02 We do, there's a way to get birthday messages, a free gift, merch discounts in there. So there's a lot of really great reasons to be a Patreon supporter. You get a lot of benefits out of it. And it also makes the show keep happening. So if that sounds great to you, you can go to support.tillin.com or tillin.com slash support, uh or just tillin.com and search around until you find the links and become a Patreon supporter. really appreciate you doing that. But if not, right back to the episode, right? 19:30 So he goes to this place called Hebe, Hebe, Hebe, Hebe, Hebe, probably Hebe. um He goes to Hebe, which is like a rural town where he becomes the leader of the Communist Party in that county. Okay, I guess they call it the deputy leader and he sir. How do do that? Does he just show up to town? He's like, hey guys, I'm in charge now. Well, it's one of those things like the the princes had this opportunity to fight for these positions and so they were kind of campaign for them. 19:56 whenever an opening open. So my assumption is, and there's not a description of how this happened, but my assumption is there was an opening in this province. Sure. He saw it. And instead of vying for something in Beijing, he's like, let me go take that. And so he went and he took that and he served in that role for three years, was really successful in that role. The people in that town loved him. Um, all this is kind of sub up for debate, but allegedly the people in that area loved him. They think he did a great job. Uh, and when the term ended in 85, 20:25 He then was like, okay, I'm going to move to a slightly larger province because now I've got a resume. Right. And so he took that resume to the slightly larger province, uh, to Fujian, uh, and which was a manufacturing hub. And he takes a 17 year stint, uh, as the deputy leader of the party there. Um, and while he's there, very similar thing, like proposes this whole overhaul of their infrastructure and all of their systems that they have in the, in the whole province. Um, he gets married. 20:54 ah to a singer, which is interesting. I've never, I never knew that he was married to like a I don't know. I don't even know if I ever knew he was married honestly, but ah then in two thousand he becomes the governor of that province, so he gets like a promotion ah and then two thousand two. He goes to a slightly larger province neighboring that city and he stays there until two thousand seven and so what's really interesting is all these princes were over there fighting for 21:24 m fighting for power in different areas all over, but he spent time building his resume yeah in different areas. Meanwhile, all this stuff is happening and he while right when he graduates from college now dies right after he graduates from college when now dies, he's replaced by a new leader and this the new leader basically says hey all that mouse stuff like it kind of got us out of the hundred years of the call like a hundred years of embarrassment, something like that 21:54 and we're in this new era of China, but the mouth thing, a little dark, kind of a dark day in our history, we're going to kind of clean up this whole thing. So they put together this whole rule, this whole new system of government where no one person has the concentration of power as a rule by committee. And so there's this eight person committee at the top of your, to now die 76. Okay. And so it's now this, uh I can't remember the exact phrase, I think communal rule or something like that. But there's rule by committee. 22:22 and so there's an eight person committee that's in charge of the whole government. No one person has all the power. There's one person that's like the top of the committee, but they don't have power. Like they don't have control over everything kind of similar to where we have the three branches of government, but much more dispersed. There's eight, there's eight people with is it there's eight similar. Is they similar how we have checks and balances 22:52 Yeah, there's a bit anyway similar because they had they had eight people with very distinct roles who had charged over eight specific parts of the government uh and can control the things that they can control. They couldn't influence the other portions. There was a person who was technically in charge, but it was more in like title than anything like they weren't really in charge, right? Similar ish ish depending on the company, but similar ish to a corporate board where it's like 23:21 you have a chair and that chair technically is in charge, but at end of the day, if the chair does something that the rest of the board disagrees with, they can be overruled. Right. And they can be ousted uh in most corporations, uh similar concept. And so the, the government of China vastly changes during this era, uh not 23:42 It ish, fastly changes ish. It's still the communist Chinese party. There's still a lot of things like that, but it's becoming a lot less uh restrictive. There's a lot less human rights violations. It's a lot free. ah And so what's really, really interesting is Xi is watching all this stuff happen. He's a person whose father was outcast. He himself was sent to a labor camp. He had gone through fleas and everything and he watches all this stuff happen and he thinks it's a bad thing. 24:12 and he's like frustrated that the government is like departing from yeah because he thought all that stuff was good even though it was really like he got the brunt of it not necessarily the brunt of it but he faced a lot of difficult times underneath that he thought that those were still good things and he still adopted that Maoist thought through all of that and was like strongly committed to it. So in two thousand seven uh shockingly uh he had built up enough of a uh 24:42 enough of uh a resume that he was appointed party chief of Shanghai, which is now he's in like the core of the right. And as a part of that, by the end of that year, he gets put in the one of the nine members. It's now nine members of the Politburo, which is that top standing committee, right? That is in charge of everything. By the following year, he's named vice president of China. And so he quickly 25:11 two ascends yeah and it's interesting. It's interesting when you look at his story because he when two thousand nine he was vice president to who two thousand and eight he became vice president of okay yeah. I don't let me see who the president of China was who Jin Tao okay yeah and he was there from two thousand and four to twenty twelve. He was the president, so they had five year term. I think it's. I think that's something that is difficult because you know we've done an episode about Vlad 25:40 we've done an episode, you know, and now we've talked about she's young thing and it's their older guys yeah and same thing with like net and yahoo. It's like these are older guys who are kind of 25:54 doing sketchy stuff yeah and it seems like because they're older dudes who are have have enormous control over their systems of government that they've been in control for a long time, but it's really only been the past like I mean for for five years only been the last twenty years yeah which relative to you know yeah it's interesting it because it 26:21 and mean we said the same thing in that episode. It just feels like these people have been there forever. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, but they haven't. They have not. Yeah, it's interesting. Even though technically she's been in government for since the eighties, but right he's been in low levels of government and so I think it's I think it's just kind of the impression that like oh this stuff boiled over decades yeah and that's where and like this person was working in the shadows for decades and then that's how they've 26:47 accumulated this force, and I don't think a lot of people realize how fast it can. This person gets in charge and then all of a sudden it's they've changed so much so are like they really can't get out of charge yeah, and it's interesting because a lot of these things like like this is a person who had power, but he didn't have a lot of power and he had these ideals this whole time. So how did he become general secretary so 27:16 You 27:25 So I'm glad you asked, that's the important part. So in 2012, here's what happened. 27:41 2008 2008 he was named vice president. He was named vice president. His first job. His His first job. Was let me see if I can find the title of his first. You know what? It doesn't matter. The growth goblins over here. So he he 28:11 he had two very significant things that happened during his vice presidency. The first thing was his first assignment. He got his vice president uh and so the first assignment he got was the Beijing Olympics. Now you need to make the oh yeah really good and so he took over that role. Beijing Olympics happened and they're a big success. They shone a light on China as like hey, China's not like poor anymore. That was kind of the idea. It was like we got to show the world that we're a part of it. 28:40 and the CCP really appreciated appreciated the work he did for China. I was like, look how normal we are. Yeah, look how look how normal we are. Also look how like advanced we are and successful. are yeah like that was it was kind of like we're we're back baby was what the Beijing Olympics was sure. He also after the global financial crisis, 29:07 He went on this tour basically to be like, hey, the financial crisis was your fault. We're cleaning it up. And so he went on this tour and all these different nations. ah And there's this quote gave during a big international summit ah in Mexico. This is an interesting line. He says, the greatest contribution towards the whole of human race was made by China to prevent one point three, seven billion people from hunger. And then he went on to say, 29:34 There are some bored foreigners with full stomachs who have nothing better to do than point fingers at us. He said, first, China doesn't export revolution. Second, China doesn't export hunger and poverty. Third, China doesn't come and cause you headaches. What more is there to be said? And so he basically was like, hey, we're cleaning up the global ah recession. ah And also it's all of the West's fault is like what he was saying, because they are super rich and making everything harder for the rest of us. 30:04 and the CCP loved him for that. So these two things became a thing where he got catapulted in popularity and the CCP and it was really left him and one other guy were the top of this bullet bureau at the end of uh that presidential term, president who Gentiles, which was twenty twelve. What is very interesting and how do they pick leaders? So there is an election, but the election is by the bullet bureau. 30:33 So there's the nine members of the top of the Politburo and then there is like a two thousand member Congress of Sours and they vote um on those on those nine positions. Sure. It's a closed door vote. Nobody knows who's been selected. Nobody. There's no campaign. There's nothing like that. It's like the Pope. How? Yeah. How you find out is the day that it happens. There's this big party and then the doors open and then the nine people walk out. The first person is the chair or the general secretary. And so 31:03 Okay. The those 2000 people fought for it. And so there was these two people that everyone's like, Oh, it's going to be one of these two. That's going to end up being the new general secretary. And it was, uh, she's been picking one other guy. What's really interesting is 14 days before. What's really interesting. Sorry. Those the fleas. Really interesting. What's really interesting is there 14 days before. 31:28 the the big celebration where they were going to announce everybody. Nobody knows who's been selected. Nobody knows. I don't even know if anyone has been selected. Okay, fourteen days before she's in ping disappears. Nobody can find him. He starts missing a bunch of meetings. The official statement that comes out is that he had a sports injury and so he was out of commission for fourteen days. Oh yeah, a torrid a Ciel. Don't worry about that. Don't worry. Hey, 31:57 Hey, don't worry about that uh and coincidentally within there are six hurdles. 32:09 Hunger. Thought. Life. Food. 32:19 Labor. Please. uh 32:25 Bort injury. And hammies. And hammies. 32:32 okay, hunger food. All right, so he he's gone and coincidentally while he's gone on his sports injury, the other guy also disappears and he has been gone from government ever since he's just gone and then that big celebration and the doors, so basically they both got taken put into a warehouse and then someone was like 33:01 one of you is going to be in charge. We need both of you to pledge your allegiance to us and the other guy was like I'm not going to do that. Okay, never heard from again and it took she's young pink two weeks to be like fine. I'll be your guy yeah and they were like okay. I don't know if that's what's happened. I don't know like there's conspiracy. I know that's what happened. There's conspiracy theories. That's something like that happened. There's curi conspiracy theories that she killed him. There is conspiracy theory like this on Chinese YouTube. So that's crazy theories out there. 33:30 but the official statement is that uh she had a straight up disappeared. Never she a sports industry injury. The other guy uh was corrupt and was banished from the government because he because of crap, but like never seen again. I don't know if he was never seen from again. He was banished from government. I know that for sure. I know that he was he was disappeared from government as what I what I the phrase, the phrase that I've seen okay, disappeared from government uh and so and then this big event happens. 33:59 and the doors open and she walks out in front and everyone's like oh, that's the guy that's been gone for fourteen days with his sports injury walking a really well for a guy who has turf toe yeah and he's he's now the leader of the country almost how long do their turn? Do they terms they have five year term limits? Yeah and so right so we're going to get to the part where he's not gone well. Twenty twelve was the beginning of his first term and then twenty eight 34:29 so twenty eighteen was the end of his end of his first term and so then yeah running through. What are you talking about? Twenty eighteen would be was the beginning. many terms can you do to there's a two term limit? So twenty twenty three was the end of his second term. So let's rewind back to where I said okay. Now we get to the part where he doesn't leave my crazy. Okay, anyway, so he almost well well 34:58 they do five year terms. Okay, yeah. Then two to five year terms. So I mean 2012 plus five 2018 obviously because you're dumb. 35:11 twelve plus five. We don't have to. We don't have to see any longer than we don't got it. We got a lot. you don't want to this anymore. We got a lot to come. I came up with the seventh trial math, food, labor, thought life, fleas, sports injury, math, thinking about numbers, basic edition. 35:37 first grade man, really easy addition, twelve plus five, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me, let me, 18 was when his present, when the second term began. So the ended in the 17, they had the election. 18 was the beginning of the next turn. Anyways, shut up. I don't have to justify myself to you. I look, I made a mistake. It's whatever fine. Okay. Okay. So he almost immediately goes on this anti corruption campaign, of course, just removing people from government positions that are corrupt. 36:08 And the corruption is interesting because there's no explanation to the corruption. Right. These people are demoted, uh fired, disappeared. uh Disappeared is probably not a good word, like banished into like countryside and worse level positions. Then the official number that we have throughout this corruption campaign in this first term is 200,000 government employees. Holy cow. Corrupt in some way. Yep. Corrupt. 36:38 And so he then reorganizes in middle that term. This nine member Politburo changes and there's people in there that are corrupt that he outs and replaces with people who are not corrupt, who coincidentally agree with everything he says course and think everything he says is right. And so slowly but surely through the course of this five year term, he takes away a lot of this first five year term. Yes, he removes a lot of the barriers. 37:07 that spread the spread the power between these nine members of the Politburo and consolidates him to him. ah And then 37:17 ah And then in 2017, he goes to the Politburo, the big one, the 2000 member Politburo, and he brings uh a new resolution to them. And the new resolution is, I think presidents should be able to not have term limits. And they were like, we agree on unanimous, we all agree. There should be no term limits. 37:41 that you know what now that you say that we like what you just said. Now that you say that I think it's great that you watched you haven't watched what we do in the shadows. Now there's a storyline in it where he has a genie and he brings back. had thirty seven wives. It is you know because he's a vampire. He's lived forever. If you don't know what we do in the shadows is it's a it's like an office style show, but it follows these three vampires and uh so it's our mockumentary, but it's vampires vampires and they've lived for a hundred of years. 38:11 yeah, and it's very inappropriate. It's not. I'm not suggesting you watch it, especially because we're family friendly show, but like it's if you're fine with inappropriate stuff, there's some very funny elements of it where he brings back one of his wives because he grubs a genie lamp and then he's like I want that wife back and he goes. ah I want this wife to agree with me all the time and then for the next like six episodes, it's just her being like whatever you like. I like 38:39 and he is eventually like I hate her. You know, because he's just like he's like she does everything I like. She likes she we never disagree. He goes. This is great. We never disagree. She's wonderful. 38:56 it's very funny. It's a good good little tiny storyline in the thing. Yep, ah so that's what happens. You just surround yourself with people. If you can surround yourself with enough people who are like yes, yes, because their thought is that eventually they'll be the one in charge. Yes, it's what is the reason that they're doing it is not because they're such a big fan of you. Yep. They think that they could one day be in their position. Yep uh and and it's also they're also they're also say what did I say? I said this is the beginning 39:26 that I said no one tries to talk to me until we record yeah. She knows what I'm doing. It's on my calendar. Look at the calendar before you call me. I don't talk to my wife like that and you shouldn't even joke like that. Please look at the calendar before you. I don't say that to her either. Please listen. Here's the deal. If you don't look at the calendar before you call me, I'm going to give you. No, I say hey calendar use 39:53 you got to keep it. Alex is like this isn't funny. Not a funny joke. Well, our favorite thing to do when me and Tim will be in here because we're you know, this is our best friend time. We're talking. We'll be like man, this is a really frustrating thing right here. Here's something that me and my wife fought about and then we'll look at Alex. We'll go. You ever fight with your wife like that and I always goes no. 40:16 there we go. Okay, we cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, so Alex's marriage is perfect and ours are fine. 40:36 Hey, thanks for listening to things I learned last night. would do us a huge favor if you could just share this episode with somebody or just share the show. Tell someone you like it. That helps us grow the show. Another way to help us grow the show is to support our merch, which is actually super comfy. We changed to a new merch supplier a couple of years ago called fourth wall. You can buy our stuff at shop.tillin.com. None of this is a pressure by the way, but it just really does help us grow the show and it helps, you know, get the word out and people ask me about my hoodie in the airport all the time. So they're really comfy. Would love for you to support the show. 41:05 And either way, thanks for being here. We're glad that we get to do this podcast. 41:15 as someone did bring us is why someone said that during the family feud bit that we did someone someone commented in patreon and they were like I like the Jared and Tim were like oh let's all go on family feud and neither of them were like we should bring our wives. We were just like man what other white guys could we bring on family few with us huh? Let's call the other two white guy podcasters. We couldn't even think to shake it up 41:43 that's no gender diversity and we couldn't even invite Shama. You know, we were just like, let's I'm closer with Shama than I am with those guys. was like wow, wow, we need to make a team of podcasters. It's you, me, Alex. Who else do we know? does kids we else? Who else could we? Oh my gosh, our wives. No, no, not them. The ninjas are butterflies guys, our actual families. No, that's good. I appreciate that. 42:12 uh so yes, I was just saying she was calling me yeah all her back after this sounds. I love my wife. She's great yeah cool in twenty eighteen. I love my wife. 42:26 I love her. I love her. I love her so much in twenty eighteen. They have their big celebration yeah where it's like who we got to the new, all the bureau, new, Paul, a bureau guys, guys, unanimous vote doors open she jim pings in the lead right and everybody knows when they see him everybody. Everybody expects it because of that because the way was it man had been working two thousand people yeah because the way it had been working before and because that they eliminated term limits, everyone kind of expected it, but to see him walking out is like oh hey 42:55 this guy's going to president until he dies now. And it was kind of confirmed in that moment. And so this next term was a very interesting term because this is when it kind of ratcheted up pretty strongly. And so obviously you still have the anti-corruption campaigns happening. Anytime anybody does anything that the government thinks is corrupt, they are ousted in some way. um The government took over um like the 43:21 press doesn't exist. Anything and everything where anybody could have any sort of ability to say anything ah publicly, the government could come in and be like, no, that's corruption ah and you could be removed from whatever poster and or banished out to a different side of the country or imprisoned or things like that. And so that whole thing got uh continued, but censorship became a big thing in twenty sixteen right and so the government 43:51 they uh created their own own media and they brought together all the news and all the public media is all government owned and they began pumping out propaganda. uh They also uh employed this group of I.T. professionals whose entire job is just Internet censorship. Yeah. And so they control what is broadcast through the Internet to the people of China. 44:19 And so vast majority of the internet are not accessible. Um, and these people, it's very interesting. They spend hours and hours and hours a day just looking at posts on China, the Chinese internet and finding these things that are, uh, for lack of a better term, like dog whistles for anti-communist propaganda or anti-communist thought. Um, and so then they find those and they block any of those things. And what is interesting in 2019, 44:48 They created this new, I guess, law where you have, they call it the internet real name system. And so every person on the internet, have their real name attached to their account. Yeah. The way we have IP addresses, they have this uh code that links to them, that links to their actual identification and what they're doing online. you do online is traceable uh back to you personally. 45:15 and so all of your devices have to have that ID attached to them. Anything you do will be linked back to you and so whenever those those censorship arms find these things that are the anti communist thought, they then trace that back to whoever it was in prison that person yeah and so and stuff like this is like all like where people in America are like oh this is all fear mongering for us like that could never happen here. Yeah, 45:41 and I was just trying to say earlier, like with how fast that takeover happened, yeah, like it could. I'm not and I'm not trying to say like oh, this administration is doing it like I'm saying it could happen here like that. Yeah, it can happen anyway uh and it's it's significant to say because this this government was that's where I think is what's frustrating about the current moment that we're in is that any kind of stuff that's leaning that way where you go. Hey, that's going that direction. Yeah, 46:08 people will go. Oh, you're just falling into the the hating the two parties stuff or whatever. Like if this side saying it, that means it's this side is completely right. And it's just like guys, yeah, that in fighting is going to lead us straight there. Yep. Yep. Yeah. It's dangerous. That's dangerous stuff. And they, and, that's the thing is similar to Russia. This, I mean, honestly, even more so than Russia did China when Xi Jinping took over had a distribution of power, right? And like 46:37 This was not something that anybody thought was possible centralized. Yeah. And this was something where slowly but surely he chipped away at that separation of powers and consolidated it. And now he's got absolute power. Right. And so under this second term, he went and he he reformed the military when he took over. I think there was two hundred thousand soldiers. He upped that number up to two million and he drastically increased the military spending budget to now the second. 47:06 largest military on earth, ah and so he was like we need to only behind us, the USA. oh That's right, oh because 47:23 So changes a bunch of laws honestly just completely changes the entire. I'm not going to crash out of the podcast was so yeah. Let's keep going. It is the fabric of the entire country. I thought about crashing out for a second, but I hey that's growth will crash out in the after the fit. Heck yeah uh completely changes the fabric of the entire and the entire government during this the second term, uh but what was the most significant part through the second term ah is he began building this cult of personality very similar to what now had 47:52 and it's called right being thought and she's in big thought. This is why I think he was the one who came up with those five uh trials. Okay, because she's in big thought is very much that mentality because just such a gin ex coated like you've got to overcome these things and I'm going to make sure everyone goes through them. So he literally has it broken out. She's in being thought is just ten affirmations, fourteen commitments, 48:22 thirteen areas of achievement, six musts and then a worldview and a methodology. Oh my gosh, and he has all these books. I think he's got six books that he wrote of his thought of how he thinks the world should work and how everybody should think and how the economy should be and all this different stuff and how everybody should behave in a good society. Yeah, it's just Jordan Peterson's twelve rules of life book, essentially stuff like that. Yeah, m 48:52 but what's so interesting, I didn't know this until researching for this. He basically built, he built this app and it's basically duo lingo for season being thought and it's tied to your ID. Everybody has to do it every day. You have to log time in every day that you're practicing your season being thought and it's your daily devotionals where you go through it's great and there's courses and there's exercises. So they're conditioning a cold, they're conditioning the 49:18 Oh my where it's like it's like you're clearly a part of this. You're learning these things, you're adopting these things and you're you're how stuff is re is uh people will fight back and push back against this stuff like when we like if I make a clip of this and put it online, I know for sure the bot comments are going to be like oh, this is misinformation that doesn't actually happen. You guys are just fear mongering China. Yeah, well yeah, there are bot they have bot farms that go out and do propaganda worldwide. 49:45 to try to make them seem better than they are, and I think that's one of the really interesting things about this, and you see his military parade. Yeah, it's probably one of the funniest videos I've seen this year. He's riding full like and his arms are in the car, so it's just like he looks like a little like one those little whack a mole games where he's just just on the top of the car and then he's saying stuff. He's saying stuff like uh I don't know soldiers and they all go yes like yeah. You're gonna pull the video. Have you seen this video Alex? 50:15 it's worth it. Let's put it. Let's put a clip of it in the episode. You got it. Give me a second. I'll have to find out right. This is so funny because the microphones are on the car. Yeah, this is so funny. All right, some sound. I mean this is just got. We don't need sound because this is just gonna be the news. I do want something over it. No okay. Well, you're not show us the video. Okay, here we go. 50:42 it's so and he just looks bored to be there the whole time. Just soldiers. That's what I'm saying is like he didn't try to look triumphant. He didn't try to look like a strong man. He literally looked tired to be there like he's just standing out of the top of the car with four microphones and he's just like he's doing their chance back and forth their their call and responses and he's just like soldiers. Yes, 51:12 I don't know if we got any other shots of that with the car yet because then he gets out. This is an eight hour broadcast news broadcast from this is crazy. Well, it's interesting because they did a lot of weapons that they had in there that we did not know they had or at least maybe the maybe our military. Yeah, found it by Googling it dude. Oh my God, I just put it on take talk. They hear some sound 51:40 And he just, yeah, I'm going to send you this. 51:46 He looks so bored. 51:56 Yeah. 51:59 Someone else is yelling and then. 52:16 he's mad that he has to read his lines. He looks like an NFL player at the end of a loss. We said that in front of the news cameras where he's just like you know why I'm here. You know yeah like that's what that is. I'm gonna be here. We didn't play well. I'll send this to you so you can send it to that guy 52:33 Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, so yeah, they were for the military uh and I think that's what's really interesting. You got nervous. You don't want to make fun of G. I'm paying too much because I'm like, look at this. Isn't this? Isn't this really dumb that he's just like saying hello? Greeting comrades. So you're really dumb. I didn't know. How are you doing soldiers? I don't know what I was gonna bring. He literally looks like like it looks like if I came, you know what I'm happy to be here. 53:03 That's all it takes. All it takes. He looks like he's in this thing against his will. He looks like he's dead. Hello. Hello. Welcome to my parade war. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Don't say that. Put that guy in the camp. 53:27 It's a It's a trap. What is it good for? Kill that guy. uh He's just setting you up. 53:41 You gotta yell. It holds our civilization together. We have to, we have to have a giant military because we're so financially compromised that other companies can take us over because of our debt to them. But because we have a stronger military, we can defend ourselves, but because we haven't done fiscal responsibility, we can be easily manipulated and controlled based on the amount of money that we owe them. What is it good for protecting our liabilities? 54:09 Yeah. Oh, sorry. Was that too much? Yeah, too much to put in the family for the podcast. uh What it was really interesting is and this is this is kind of I think this is what you get in a lot of societies and yeah in this system. uh There is the people on the end. This is working very, very good for of course, and so this kind of back to what you were saying about the bots who are like, oh, this is misinformation. This isn't true. There are people who uh 54:39 live at the top of Chinese society and they are living a great lifestyle. ah You see those videos come out of China with like the super futuristic cities where things are really safe ah and everything is like very clean. The people who live in those areas, like they're living lifestyles that honestly are probably better than what we have here with the exception of the freedom thing. ah But they they're like day to day lifestyle is probably at 55:07 at the minimum comparable, if not better than our day-to-day lifestyle here. But if you're on the outs, there is this gap that is monumental. there are, uh for example, you might have heard of the Uyghur population, this Muslim population in Eastern China that has been subjugated since the beginning of... They're doing legitimate atrocities and genocides. Yeah, legitimate genocide, yeah. Just because these people are... 55:35 wheat, a weir population. There's no other reason for it and so there are people on the outside that are living through just completely terrible conditions and I think this is ah this is true in a lot of societies in China. I think it's pretty ah is polarized pretty strongly where there are people that are living incredibly well and that's what I mean. Whenever I you know I kind of not really kind of joke about how we're in a dictatorship of technocrats. 56:04 But that growing wealth inequality. Now the whole thing in the United States is that we, we still cling to the myth of mobility that, you know, Oh, you could win the, you could essentially win the lottery by starting a good company that then shoots you to that thing. Right. There's all kinds of things in the way of that, but we still cling to that. Like, some people still shoot the gap. 56:25 so it's possible. So we don't have as big a problem with it, but that gap is widening, it's like an alarming rate and not just like a, it's widening. It's like guys, you got to look at these numbers. It is widening at a alarming rate that we're not like the people down here are not to the conditions of what you're talking about in China yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. China's got this canyon, this divide between them. 56:52 there is a growing gap in the states. That's nothing compared to what China has nothing compared to that yet, yet, but yeah, there is, it could there are early signs that if we don't stop it yeah, yeah, that's definitely true. That's definitely true and so to your point you talked about like oh, eventually with you know if now I don't think AI is actually going to do what they predict exploring to do. That's kind of the whole thing as well, but if it were to do put forty percent of people out of jobs, they predicted it would and you were like well, they're going to have to do universal basic income. They're not gonna 57:20 Yeah, you know, not to burst that bubble for you. They're not going to set up a system where we all get checks each month and they they're gonna let you be poor. They're gonna show how you starve. Yeah, yeah, I don't care and you're like you're like no, no, they wouldn't do that. They're already doing it. We we currently living in the United States live in the rich neighborhood and people who live in Mexico don't people who live in in the African countries that we're exploiting for a lot of our resources don't live in the good neighborhood. Yeah, 57:46 and they'll just move that here where then this state or these this area, this region will be the good neighborhood and then you will live where you live. Yeah, yeah, not to sorry to get this dressing, but like that's I think that's with the the and again, I'm not trying to be like oh, capitalism is bad, but I'm saying this myth of of mobility that we're we bought into so much has kind of eased our 58:12 movement into that gigantic gap. The problem is, is that the people on the other end of the gap are not the government, which could be, you know, in theory overthrown or restructured. They're the rich and that's like, we can't over through that. You know, I think, I think what the, I think the, the moral of the story here is for decades in this country, the, uh, the, the headline is communist is bad. Capitalist is good. Right. 58:40 that's that's why you see this difference, and that's what our message is is communism's good. No, no, no, no, no, the system itself, the system itself. It doesn't really matter. The system it's who's in tiny people to know that I'm joking like this. I feel like there's some people were like wow, Jared's really falling off. No, she'll it let him make his point. The system itself doesn't really matter. What matters is who's at the top and read a hundred percent of time systems will be corrupted every time depending on what 59:10 You know, yeah. Who's in charge? Are they corrupting the system? And, ultimately too is like, how much are they corrupting the system? Because before she's in pink took over and they had this distribution of power, there was a lot of people who were in charge of different things that were corrupt. Like there were multiple stories of corruption and people being removed from power who were embezzling funds and doing things similar to what we have had it throughout the United States history. She's in pink turnover and he 59:38 ratcheting up corruption to it to come of course insane level, but it's just like how corrupt is that person in charge and how far are they willing to take it right and I think we we kind of follow this myth that it's like oh, it's the system. That's the problem. It's not the person who's abusing this right right right and so not that we're trying to justify communism. Yeah, I don't I don't think I don't think whatever we can talk about in the after the fiddle. guess yeah, but 01:00:07 All that to say he is now in the middle of his third term, which wasn't something that you could do right for. ah There's no sign of him ever having an in his seventy seven. What did I say? He was born in fifty seven to three. Did I say hold on? Let's see. He was born in yeah, fifty three. So so he's seventy two. Yeah. So he he's probably going to be in power until he dies. He has radically changed the government. Everybody else who's in control. Did you just text me? 01:00:37 it takes you to the link to the video. Oh, it just came through. I was like, when did you do? Okay, so he's probably not. He's probably not going to leave his position until he dies. What is really interesting though is he has completely reformed China, so even when he removed from power, yes, the next man up can't undo the corruption. Well, the next probably won't want to the next man up is in his thought. 01:01:07 is they've been doing Duolingo for Xi Jinping brain every day. And so the odds of it being someone who's a dissenter is pretty low to begin with. But even if it is, it is a drastic overhaul of what he's built to undo it. And so it's probably not going to change. All that being said, the things he has done has turned China from a third world country to at least 01:01:35 major portions of the country, a first world country, which is pretty insane and it's crazy how that works. If you're just corrupt and you just kind of do whatever you want and then the country to your will, you can make it pretty rich. It's pretty crazy. Well, this has been an encouraging time. We appreciate you hanging out for things. learned last night. Our next episode is our three hundred and we promise it'll be a joy filled fun time, so we'll see you next week. He doesn't know what we're talking about. 01:02:05 So, okay. Now we're in the after the fiddle here. Sorry. Fiddle off. 01:02:10 300 episodes can't figure out how to end one and thanks for checking out this episode. If you like it you should watch Vladimir Putin. We talked all about his rise to power. So if you like finding out how Xi Jinping became his dictator find out how Russia got a dictator it's a great episode really honestly crazy story and hey if you want to see next week's episode right now you can do that on Patreon but becoming a patron supporter we love our patrons. Thank you so much for your help of making this podcast happen but we'll see you next week on another episode of things island last night 300 episode 300 next week. That's exciting.


For decades, China has stood as one of the most powerful nations on earth. At the center of that rise stands one man, Xi Jinping. His story isn’t just about politics; it’s about power, control, and the transformation of an entire country. Understanding how Xi Jinping came to lead modern China gives us a glimpse into how influence and ideology … Read More

This Mom’s DNA Didn’t Match Her Kids | Lydia Fairchild Ep 298

11-04-25

Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of Lydia Fairchild? Lydia Fairchild, Lydia Fairchild, no Lydia Fairchild here. You want to look at her? Yeah, here she is. This is her and child okay or fair child. Is this like an eighties picture? Eight and eighty. This is nineties. Maybe this is a for those it's a it's a you know old picture and she's holding a baby and the baby is just like 00:29 I think this is nineties because because the story takes place. Is that her baby? Yeah, that's her baby. Okay, here's another picture of her where honestly in this picture she also with the baby also with the baby baby and on and on a house phone. Oh, how the baby was flipping us off for a second, but it's not a little ring. Very close in this photo though looks kind of like Heath Ledger. Okay, are we? I don't know if we can bully her like that. 00:57 I don't know story. You know the story she does she that's a beautiful woman. I he fled her is a beautiful man. Okay, so anyway, 01:12 She's like, but you might have had to dig around a little bit and find out what's going on with your DNA. And she's like, yeah. And that is not the way the doctor brought that to her. That's the way I was like, you might know I'd dig around a little bit. The doctor was like, mind if I just like poke and broad and just kind of figure out what's going on with you? Things I learned last night. 01:42 What's the story? Who's so fair child, let me for your child, let me for your child and her. I don't know if this is her husband or a boyfriend. I'm not sure I've heard conflicting reports. I've seen completely r for reports. They don't have the same last name, but that maybe that maybe she's a modern woman, neither do me and my wife right now. We couldn't find our mayor's certificate for a long time, so also it's like a whole. It's a really big process. You got to read to your passport, your driver's. It's a lot of work. It's just 02:07 Oh my God, which I mean it really is. If you think about it, it's just the patriarchy keeping their thumb down on a woman because it makes it much harder. It's just so much harder to separate from a man. If you have your name stuck to them, you got to go change all these documents. You're just kind of yeah, you're tied, you're tethered legally. I mean, yes, 02:28 Like is it really worth leaving that man if you have to go to that many notaries? 02:37 Oh, I've been wanting to leave my husband for years, but I just can't find an open spot on my calendar to go get that notarized. Okay, so what what is so Jamie Townsend okay? Is her husband or boyfriend? I'm not sure this is a later photo. The babies are obviously yeah and there are three kids yeah. They have three kids. This story takes place specifically in two thousand two while she's pregnant with a third child. Okay, and when this happens uh sometime during the pregnancy, 03:06 they couldn't had unresolvable differences. They end up separating okay, and she has three children that she's trying to support. She's pregnant and wait, wait, wait. She's pretty with her. You said their third child. Sorry, she has two children. She's pregnant with a third child, but that's a picture of all three of them. So they resolve their conflicts. It appears so either that or they are there. They are sticking together for the kids and taking great photos at the mall, sure, which is something that just is sad. We don't have anymore. 03:34 the photo shop three minutes right now. I you to remember this forty minutes from now when Tim goes, we're only halfway through the story. It's just it's just it's sad like we used to be able to just walk in the mall and get some not great photos done like I miss those days. We did it. We've got those lying around here somewhere. 03:56 stop. What do you do? No talk about them all. No, I've done talking about the mother. No, you ain't. You want to spend a lot of time our podcast. Oh my gosh speaking of balls. Do you want to talk about subway? We said we were going to talk about some way this episode. We kept people on their toes for a week. Should we just go playing block blast right now? I'm busy. 04:19 describe it to the audio. So I'm playing block glass, which is it's a it's like a tetris type game. My high score is forty seven thousand. Here's my conspiracy on this by the way. I do think that they have made this game easier in the last ah because they used to be way hard. My high score for a long time was fifteen thousand and now it's forty seven and it's like I've scored my highest scores in the last. 04:46 So I think this game was too hard and they just made it easier to be honest. I really do. Why was the motivation so people play it more? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, you don't want it to be too hard. That's what I'm saying, but you know, what are you going to do? not very fun for you because you're too good at it, right? Yeah, I'm just I'm so good at this game. You're like I want the old one back where it was harder. Give me the old one where it wasn't as easy. Anyways, put that away and talk to me about something just anything. 05:15 No, no, you wanted to go off. I, I, you're talking about be a full tangent. It was literally just a side comment where I was just like, I just missed the photos places of them all. Okay. That was all that wasn't why you got that out. Be this thing where you know, I'm glad you got it out of your system, buddy. Let's talk about Lydia Fairchild. So she, her and Jamie separate, put your phone away. I know you're like, Oh, I got to finish this level. The game is so easy, but he can't finish this level in less than 45 seconds. 05:43 oh five and a half minutes dude, so you're on your phone. I miss her. You go to the mall dude and like they had like this there for those who don't know there was like a store. My mom loved the store by the way. My mom, whatever those whatever glamour shots or whatever was called 06:11 my mom loved this place because they would have a whole drop down. You know they could put the they always props and stuff and you know my mom actually started to move away from it in. I remember this real clear like two thousand and eleven. My mom and my my dad my mom my mom and my dad my parents. They got my mom my dad my my parents who are my mom and dad 06:40 that's how you talk. It sucks. It's really hard to listen to. Oh sorry. I know that's you and so uh they got these photos and they like they did the face tune thing to my mom so much that she looked like way too smooth and she got them back and she was like just give me the unedited pictures. Normal photos please. Oh it's bad yeah because they weren't like trained 07:08 they were just like like yeah. They were high school student. They were like smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, smooth, 07:36 I don't know how far, I do know she is pregnant with her third child at this point. Okay. I would guess with the way the story goes, like it's early in the pregnancy should be my guess. Um, very early in the pregnancy, honestly, 2002 with how this timeline goes out 2002. Yeah. Um, and so she goes, uh, because now she's on her own, a single parent, right? Um, she goes in and she applies, um, for child support and, uh, 08:04 Obviously when child so when you go in for child support normal procedure is they DNA DNA test the children and the father to make sure the father is actually the father um Because you you don't want to force someone to pay child support for right kid That's not their own kid. And so they go in very routine thing do it um Had to wait a couple weeks and then they call her and they say hey, we think you should come down to the 08:28 office. I almost at station. Yeah, she come down to the come down to the manager suite. Come on down to the manager suite. did. They did this test that twizer us and and while we we think you should come down for for these results and she's like never a good sign. She's like you could just tell me over the phone. She's like no, like no, we can't. We'd really like to tell you in person and so they sit down in the office and there's video of her kind of like we're counting this story and she said it was very awkward like 08:57 it was very like, it felt very tense in the room when she got there and like everyone was like, there was not like pleasantries exchanged. It was like sit down and then they were like, Hey, so result came back a hundred percent. We can guarantee Jamie is the father, um but you aren't the zero percent. You're the mother and so of the baby inside of her, no, of her children, her two children. Okay. Yeah. And so she says, 09:27 um excuse me. I I remember I know for a fact these are my children. I gave birth to them and so they start like grilling her. ah Why does they think that she is like trying to commit like welfare fraud or something like that and so they're grilling her asking her all these questions. um They start asking her like do you have a sister? Could these be your sister's kids? ah So the DNA can say zero percent chance that it's yours. Yeah, 09:57 but it's a hundred cent Jamie's. Okay. And so they're very, they're very like, she says like she was getting grilled and it was very, it felt like an interrogation. They were asking all these questions of like, are, are you actually Lydia Fairchild? Like, did you do something with the real Lydia Fairchild and like you took her kids and she's like, no, I'm the real Lydia Fairchild. She's like, here's my ID. Like here's all my papers. Like we've gone through this whole process. Like I'm, I am me. These are my children. I remember giving birth to them. Like, 10:25 I did. There's some must be something wrong with the tests and so they end up going through this whole like interview where they're like their honor. She any pictures from when she was pregnant? I don't have any pictures. I'm sure she does right, but I don't have any pictures and so they basically were like look. We can run another test, but the guy straight up tells her in this thing and he straight up says we're going to take your kids away because these are not your 10:55 kids like we're confident that it's a zero percent chance we've we've got the DNA results. And so she's obviously distraught. Yeah. And so she starts going through all the possibilities. She leaves this. She's like, what are all the possibilities of what's going on? She really thinks like the DNA test must just be wrong. There's I suppose the possibility that something happened like in the hospital, maybe these got switched and they weren't my kids, but it's like, well, no, it's Jamie's. Yeah. 11:23 it's yeah. This is actually Jamie's kids, so maybe he had two baby mamas in the hospital at the same time and they were in different rooms and he's got them all mixed up and he was like he's like I need to go to the restaurant real quick and then he to the other person was I go to the bathroom. You got it, you got it, babe, you got it, I got a poop again. 11:48 I'm just a nervous pooper. I'm so nervous right now. When I was, when, my baby was born, there was another dad there. Did I tell you this story? Uh, there was an, there was only one other baby being born that on our floor that day. Um, and the other dad, when it happened, uh, he got, uh, sick and he passed out and he had to like go to the ER cause he hit his head. And so, uh, I remember 12:16 at some point during the day, like I went down for lunch and came back up and I rode the elevator with him and he was like bandaged up and then the nurse, the nurse told me later. She's like yeah, we've had an eventful day and she's like she's like. Are you going to pass out because I don't want another one of the he doesn't remember that yeah yeah that's embarrassing. I think I think he had yeah, that's embarrassing anyways, so she's trying to figure out what is going on. 12:46 meanwhile the the state is like starting to come after her and they're like taking her to court and so they take her to this court and then she start she's trying to tell the story to this is like a ongoing process then yeah. This is not like a one day thing. This is something that's going on and where her kids during this so she still got him at home like they they have to go through the process to be yeah. They can't take they can't just back. These are ours and so yeah they're home with her. Jamie is trying to like vouch for her and be like yeah, they're 13:15 she's like on the father which for her yeah like I'm the father. That's their mother. We're not together, but that is their mother his her parents are defending her, but the longer this runs on and the more the state starts to a lot of people start to have some doubts. They're like like it's strange like we know we were there at the birth like we know this, but something has to be going on for her to not be showing up in DNA. Like how is that possible that she's not showing up in DNA and so 13:44 uh they uh they take they take her to court and the judge is like hammering her at court because she's the judge is like this is fraud. You're committing some kind of fraud and we're going to get you for it. She shows up without a lawyer because she did all this searching for lawyers and no one would pick up the cake because they were like yeah this is obvious like no lawyer will take the case. Yeah no lawyers taking the case because they all think it's obvious that she's committing fraud because there's no ray of the evidence. Yeah there's no way a mother would come up with a zero percent 14:15 a zero percent match. It's not even like it's not like it's like a sixty percent. It's a zero percent match that she came up as and so she goes to court. The judge is like I suggest you get a lawyer. She's like I tried. No one wants me and and so they have this initial hearing. It does not go well. Well, didn't she get a lawyer though like there's public defenders? Well, I don't know. I don't know in a case like this because this isn't 14:43 I'm not sure in a case like this. I don't know enough about how this stuff works like this isn't like she was arrested and she's facing like a criminal trial like this is, I guess, technically a civil trial. Okay, you still got a lawyer. Do you do they provide a lawyer in the civil if the if the state is suing you for something? Yeah, I don't know if they're technically suing. Okay, I don't know. I don't know if the state provides a lawyer in a situation. I don't know. Maybe they do 15:11 but all I know is she was going to defend herself because she couldn't find someone to sure be her defender. The judge was like I suggest you find a lawyer and she's like I tried I can't find one and so basically they go to this hearing and they say okay well you're pregnant. So this works out perfect. What we're going to do is you're going to have this baby. We're going to have a representative of the court there to witness the birth and immediately we're going to DNA test both of you like that same moment. 15:40 and we're going to this feel so crazy okay, and then we'll be able to know ah if there's just something weird about your dna yeah. If there's something amiss or if yeah and so so you're in the you're in the hospital legs up trying to give birth yeah and there's the father doctor comes in and goes uh you know hi. I'm I'm doctor tiler cocks and 16:10 and so and and he goes okay. This is the father who is that's there's judge in the robin and next to a stenographer 16:29 Have you seen that they had like mouth stenographers now? Oh yeah. With like they've got like this like weird it looks like an oxygen mask. It's crazy looking. 16:39 crazy right to an ASMR and whispering the court case. 16:49 Hey, join us on Patreon if you want this to be ad free and also there's tons of other perks you get to all episodes are ad free. You get next week's episode right now and you get to do monthly hangouts with me and Tim like we really look. It's like a virtual just hangout room and we play games together. We talk. We have show and tell sometimes we've made a lot of good friends through this and so it's a really good time to do that. So either way, please share the episode. Tell somebody about it. These are all those ways to help us grow the show because we love doing it. We want to keep doing it. So thanks for being here. 17:23 now they just got to watch or give birth. Yes, they're watching her give birth, which is so weird. Yeah, it's very weird. It is very weird. Imagine the other side of that too. You're just the guy who's got to go watch a lady early birth that you don't know. It's like you're leaving. You're getting the kids ready for school in the morning. You're making a breakfast right and your wife's like yeah. What do you guys do today? Oh, I got to watch a lady give birth. I go watch the miracle of life. 17:51 Oh yeah, I yeah. I actually went to three other ones last week to prepare what I just want to make sure I know you know. I make sure I know what I'm looking at. Hi, sorry. Can I sit in on this birth? Excuse me. Who are you? It's for the I'll tell you who I am and that's classified. I live in a secure facility doctor. uh I need to see this board. Here's my badge. 18:21 that you got to look quick. That's the thing about badges got a quick. We flash a really quick. That's the whole thing about that. You got to look fast, so yeah, this guy with questionable credentials is there for the birth witnesses, everything and then is like all right. Let's do this DNA test. They time flies when when giving birth. I don't know if that's true. It did fly being there. ah I don't know about the doing it part. Oh yeah, 18:50 that's slow and excruciating and awful. I heard yeah anyways, ah so she she gives birth. They take the baby. They do the DNA test. They DNA test her in that moment like at right away. Wait, when is this now? This is it's still two thousand two. Okay, you don't have like a you don't okay. I don't have an exact date. Yeah, I don't have the exact date and so they're there for the birth. They go back to court. The DNA results come back and at this point like 19:17 Jamie is pretty invested because Jamie doesn't want his, even though they're not together, he still wants his kids to be raised by their actual mother. And so he doesn't want this whole situation either. so they've talked a lot about this and they kind of came to the conclusion that the best case scenario is that this one comes back that she's 0 % too. Because if it comes back as this is her child, 19:44 then that kind of proves to the court that she's lying about the other two. And so they're like, I don't know how that happened that these other ones came back zero, but we're hoping that this one's zero too. Right. And so they come back to the court and the result ended up being it's a zero again. So she's a 0 % match. And so they witnessed the birth though. They had someone from the court who witnessed the birth. Okay. And so you would assume because they watched it happen, they would say, yeah, you are the mother, but instead what the court says 20:14 is we think that you're committing fraud through in vitro fertilization and we think that you were somehow and I don't know there is like black market and vitro fertilizers out there. I guess if the court thought that that was what was happening and so they said that you're carrying someone else's child and trying to commit fraud and get money from the state through that and so they still are taking the case against her and moving forward with the case. Okay, 20:43 so we need a welfare check. We need some money. We need to be on food stamps. What's what should we do? Let's have three children, carry them in my body, give birth so that I can skim a couple hundred dollars a month from the government and the US government. That's probably the best plan. Let's do that. Yes, let's do that. 21:11 Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You're thinking the right way. So she begins, so this happens. She now has, um, uh, uh this third situation. So she then thinks, okay, because of this third child and this third set of DNA tests with a court witness, she says, maybe I can go back to the, all these lawyers that shot me down and maybe someone will be like, okay, this is actually interesting. Maybe there's a case here. So she got, starts knocking on the doors of more lawyers again. 21:38 to write. Okay, hey look, this just got more interesting. Look, they watched me give birth. Yeah, and they still what? Excuse me, ma'am. I don't think you're in a real court. I don't think this is an actual thing. 21:52 the whole thing was a set up a fake court. That's crazy. Yeah, we're going to assign Brian to watch you give birth to a baby. It's just his fantasy football punishment. You know, I'm talking about like he lost the league and so now his punishment is to watch someone give birth. All the other 11 guys in the league like 22:15 They're all the guy who won the guy who won is the judge and the jury is all the other guys. Yeah. And then the prosecuting attorney is the second place. The whole thing is just a giant fantasy football league. 22:32 crazy called the court house. The league name the league name. That's pretty hard. That goes pretty hard actually and then so they're sitting there. They're holding court and the loser has to watch a lady give birth. So they had to create this whole job. This crazy call a random mom and tell her that the DNA results say zero percent. Honestly, this makes as much sense as someone trying to scam welfare by having three. This is just as likely. 23:04 That's crazy. dude, fantasy football punishments are absurd. They're getting nuts. They're getting. Did we joke about that on the podcast before? I don't know. We talked about that. I don't know about how I've seen some ones that were great. Like they seem like, this is a good time. 23:20 the Waffle House one. I'm talking about that's a waffle house and then you can share our off, but yeah, yeah, that's a good time. I love that and then everybody in the league can come at different times during the day and mess with you and watch you suffer like that's fun, but there's other ones that are not fun. Yeah, the there was a guy that we met in San Francisco who told me that he wants his fancy full of Lake Parnes meant to be a stolen Valor Day where for a full day you have to 23:50 steal and it has to be convincing enough that people will go. Thank you for your service, but also just wrong enough that any serviceman can go yeah, but you can't break. You can't break. If someone says thank you for service, you have to go. You're welcome. That's really funny. That is a really funny. Oh no, this is my fantasy football punishment. It's stolen Valor day 24:19 That sounds like that sounds like the like the Wednesday of spirit week stolen. All right guys this week I know it's a lot going on. There's a big sale. There's a catering lunch um Tuesday's pajama day. 24:38 Thursday is Jennifer's dead in the parking lot. They Wednesday is stolen Valor Day. So I brought to us by student council. Yeah, idea creative idea. Yeah, well, we only went with it because that kid said he was a purple heart. So felt weird to say no to him. Weird to say no, you know, are you 25:01 hold on. I think I'm just now realizing that he's not a purple heart, purple heart. He just crashed in that accident last month and he said he's a purple. Okay, so anyway, that's okay. So that's the whole thing sounds so stupid. So did a lawyer take the case? Yeah, so she ends up finding a lawyer named Alan Tindal who says, yeah, I want it. I'll keep looking. Don't worry. 25:30 Oh yeah, I want in. Wow. This case is so worth it. 25:39 this case is my Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, so worth it. If you don't listen to our show, some of these quotes are crazy about that, so he starts digging into how this could be possible. How could it be possible that she's coming up as a zero percent match when she clearly gave child gave gave a gave gave child of the birth? 26:03 Yeah, that's a hundred percent what I'm calling giving words from now on gave child to the world child. So he starts digging and he ends up coming across this woman named Karen Keegan, which I should have got you a picture of her. Hold on, give me a second. Let me get a picture of her. Okay, why don't you? While we do this, we said we were going to talk about 26:21 Subway in this episode. Perfect. Okay. So the reason that subway sucks now is the fact that Cisco and US foods have monopolized the food distribution system. So everywhere you go is the same food cooked just slightly different, right? So the mozzarella sticks that they serve at Chili's are the same mozzarella sticks. They serve a TGI Fridays, the chicken strips that you're ordering it at different places is the same chicken strips, right? And so they've made it so hard for restaurants to 26:49 uh source their food from local farmers or local produce or You are even like the distribution of like the people who make chicken because these giant monopolies in the food distribution system have Monopolized and become these gigantic things. They are only buying from certain suppliers Which means that the small chicken farmer, you know quote-unquote a smaller chicken farmer or a processing plant ends up going out of business because all the all the 27:19 the US foods and Cisco are buying from Tyson or buying from, you know, so it creates a system where competition can't exist, which is the whole purpose of capitalism. And if you believe in capitalism, you want it to be able to have different competing products that can compete for fair prices. But what ends up happening is these large conglomerate companies start taking over and then they control the price markets everywhere down. So that's why all their food in these fancy restaurants, fancy, because when I was growing up, Red Lobster was fancy, ah but that all the food in these restaurants and everywhere else, 27:49 One, tastes the same. Two, is worse now than it used to be. And is more expensive than it used to be. Yeah. Yeah, because that is that- Because they control all the levers. That's the one, like, guarantee of the stage of capitalism we're in, where everything will just continue to get worse and cost more. It's awesome. So, like, it's, for real, if you ever go to, like, what was that place, Oh Charlie's or whatever, and you're like, man, these chicken strips taste a lot like 54th Street. They are. 28:17 It's the same chicken strips. Yeah, the only thing that might be different is that the cook might have put them in a little bit longer. Yeah, or season them a little different and that's that's the only different sauce. Yeah, even the sauces. The sauces are all the same, but you might have a different flavor of sauce. Maybe a little bit different of a honey mustard. Wow, unless you go to pick them is because legally they're not allowed to use the same mayonnaise, but that's like 28:43 Dude, okay, so when looking at Subway, right? Because that's where I have the most knowledge from, is that they expanded so far so fast. They were trying to outnumber McDonald's. It was a weird, know, Fred DeLuca turned into a crazy person and was like, we gotta put more Subways. That's why they ended up with two street stores and a Walmart store in the same small town, right? Didn't make any sense. Yeah. But they just wanted as many stores as they could. But when you expand that fast, you have to then get a distributor who can handle that kind of thing. 29:11 And so what they did, like all their products, like we used to, I don't know which ones they still cut right now, but ah you know, all the produce there, used to, the only thing that we didn't know is our lettuce came in a bag. But everything else we cut there. We cut the tomatoes, we cut the onions, we cut the peppers, and you know. so the meats and the sauces and everything came from the same place that the other sandwiches, 29:41 The other sandwich stores got their stuff from as well. And it just, because you're trying to do it on a mass scale, you end up having to do it on a cheaper scale. Yeah. Which then makes the product worse. Yeah. Yeah. And you have to go to the same place that, the one place that offers But it also makes it that the small guy can't get in at a competitive price. When you go to a local sandwich shop and it's like, oh, it's double the price of Subway. Yeah. It's because same thing with like my, so, you know, if you're building a new house, the... 30:10 larger construction company can buy trusses for way cheaper because they buy a thousand of them. They're buying a thousand trusses. Yep. And then you get a bulk discount. But then if you're trying to build your own house on your own property, it's going to cost six times as much because you don't have that bulk discount. You don't need a thousand trusses. Yeah. You just need 999 trusses. So they made it so that you can't build your own home. 30:38 Yeah, you have to use that construction company. Otherwise you're paying six times the price. Yep. Anyway, that's our weekly crash out. Thanks for joining us right here, but that's what I was. I was really upset about it. Really? They think the last episode that stemmed from talking about how in the sweets like we have paid before like for an experience of like, oh, I've never done like a suite at an NFL game. That's crazy money. But even then, like you pay crazy money for some of these things and the quality is not 31:08 Good. Yeah. Like it's like, this is just chicken strips. Oh, like of the food that they have there. That's crazy. Really? When, and this was a long time ago, but, and, I didn't do it. My dad did it while I was in college, but he, someone at the church gave him tickets to the Colorado Rockies and it was like the top of the line ticket that they had. It wasn't a suite, but it was like, you had this separate entrance. There was like a presidential like diner or something like that. 31:36 and they had like special food that was all free and then they just you sat right behind home plate and they like had waiters that came out and he said the food was incredible and so what year was a while ago this was when we were in college so maybe it was different. I think I think honestly in the last ten years is when stuff started to really interesting huh anyway yeah yeah I mean I thought that when we were in Orlando like I don't think any of that food there was incredible at the Ritz like I don't think it was 32:05 crazy like it was good, but it wasn't better. It wasn't like oh, this is it wasn't what that numbed the price on those tickets. Oh for sure it was not that much better yeah, but that stuff's inflated anyway. I mean you know yeah anyway, but that was my that was my rant. Did you find a picture of Karen yeah? So here's Karen Keegan and her family ah and so this is a case. Can you guess which one's care? This is Karen and her three sons ah 32:35 This photo is probably late eighties, I would guess. OK, maybe early nineties. I don't know. m But Alan finds this case in Boston, a woman named Karen Keegan, who her liver was failing. And so she needed a transplant. And so she gets a DNA test and her two adult sons and her husband tested to see who she could um have be a donor for a new liver or not a kidney. Sorry, kidney. 33:04 um not a liver, a kidney. um What was strange in that test, her husband ended up being a positive match, so she was able to get a kidney from her husband. But what was strange was in that test, both of her sons came back as a 0 % DNA match to her. And the doctor was like, that's really weird. And so the doctor came and was like, hey, your kids are your husband's kids, but not yours. And she was like, that's strange because they're mine. 33:34 And she's like and the doctor was like, yeah, I believe you and she's like, that's really weird. She says, look, we're to work out this kidney thing for you and make sure you're healthy. And she's like, but you might if I dig around a little bit, find out what's going on with your DNA. And she's like, yeah, and that is not the way the doctor brought that to her. That's the way I was like, you might know, dig around a little bit. The doctor was like, I a question. You mind if I just like poke and prod and just kind of figure out what's going on with the care if I can to look into this? 34:04 the doctor was like. Would you mind if I did some medical research with you? Would you consent to some medical research? And so she was like sure as long as the same thing when you do improv. If you're going to touch anyone in the audience, you have to give verbal consent. 34:19 when you do improv, you gotta go. Can I you're like oh this per can I touch any verbal consent? Yes, it's the same thing when you're watching an ASMR haircut and the ASMR barber is like. Do you consent to me touching your hair before the haircut because every barber does that and you're like yeah and they the ASMR bar was wearing a hot dog costume. 34:40 drives me insane. If you're an as of artist out there, stop doing that. No barber asks that question. Every barber just assumes you're here. You're sitting in the chair. You're okay with me touching your hair. You care if I touch her. They don't even say you do care if I touch her. They say real quick before we can do consent to me touching your hair drives me crazy drives me insane. Yeah, I guess that didn't come up on my feet because ah 35:08 I as I don't watch that stuff on the internet. I don't watch it either. I just listen to it while I work. I actually I actually put it on my phone, put it in my ears, put on noise cancellation, so it's the best effect and then I turn my phone face down so I can't see it because it makes me uncomfortable to see it, but it helps me focus to hear it. 35:31 What are you doing? What are you doing right now? You're playing Blockbuster. It's not called Blockbuster. 35:42 I don't know you just want to talk about. don't want to talk about here. I don't want to think about it wasn't a bit. I was talking about it. Yes, I'm are okay. Anyways, so here's about this core. This case about Karen Keegan. 36:02 Sorry, is that blockbusting? You got some good blockbusts. m 36:08 So here's what the case about Karen Keegan. The doctor is like, can we research on you and she's like yeah, as long as I survive, like do whatever you want. She's like, if you can do anything short of killing me, no, she's like, if you save my life, you can do whatever you want. That's fair. That's fair. It's fair. And so she gets her kidney transplant. Her husband gives her a kidney and she continues the research and 36:34 They do all these DNA tests. constantly swapping her in. It's constantly coming back. Every test is coming back that she's a 0 % match with her children. They end up getting her third child, where her third child didn't qualify to do the kidney transplant because now they're doing this research. It's like, OK, yeah, we can test him for that. We're not going to take his kidney. But we're going to see if he matches you. He also doesn't match. And so this is very strange. So doctor's pointing through all these research documents trying to figure out what's going on. And she finds out about this case about a child in Texas. 37:02 ah And there is a doctor there who wrote a whole report about this case in Texas where this child was born with two complete sets of DNA. uh So much so that the child had a seam right down uh the center line of their body with two different skin tones. And we actually have a picture of this where there is a legitimate seam where the skin is different. uh And those were two completely different sets of DNA. 37:32 on each half of the child's body. And what this paper concluded was that this was a situation where that child, when the egg was fertilized and in that early stage, and there was the two zygotes, they merged and they fused and they grew as two complete separate sets of human DNA, but merged together. So kind of like a Siamese twin, but without the twin part. 38:01 And so was essentially twins that were stuck together. And so they went down that route to try to prove, is it possible that even though, what did I say her name was? Karen? Karen Keegan? Even though Karen didn't have like any evidence on the outside, like that child in Texas did, could it be possible that she is a similar situation where she is a fused twin that fused in the room and has two sets of DNA? Okay. 38:30 They spent months and months and months swabbing for DNA, finding DNA from different parts of her body until eventually they found, okay, she does. They ended up finding on her thyroid that almost 100 % of her thyroid was a completely different set of DNA. And upon digging deeper, what they were able to discover is that her entire body was peppered with two sets of DNA. But the frequency of what DNA was showing up in each cells was... 39:00 predominantly the set that came out in those first tests. Okay. The thyroid was the one place where it was predominantly the other set of DNA. And when they compared that DNA to her children, it was a hundred percent match that she was the mother. 39:16 Hey, if you love the show, a great way to serve support is by getting some merch. We got lots of great stuff. I'm going to showcase some of it right now. This is like our little tilling QVC. You can get a it's not a call. It's a podcast sweatshirt. Very sweet. The nice thing about this is no one knows what podcast you're talking about. So you wear it in public and you can tell them about your Lord and Savior to a podcast. We also got the this is one of my favorite things we've ever made. The fiddle off fest hoodie. It's got uh the devil. 39:45 playing a fiddle. It's not really the devil's a skeleton. And then all of the bands on the back of it like it's a festival. But spoiler alert, these aren't bands. These are jokes from episodes. So worth checking out. And this is one of my favorite things we've ever done. This is for the real fans. This is an old one. We've got a Tim Stones get well quick trick shirt. And it's very cool. We've got some really good designs. Darren is good at designing stuff. So support his dream. No one will hire him as a designer, but you can by buying his merch. 40:14 It's our merch, but it's his designs. so leave a comment, say, Jared, you're good at this. um We like your art. He really needs it. He needs your support so bad. Please make him feel better about it and buy some merch. It helps make this show keep happening. You can tell people about how much you love this show with it. So. 40:37 Did you hear it? Did you hear what I said? Yeah, you're going to do a two minute merch ad. wasn't a two minute merch ad. Oh, Jaren's a good designer. Go give him a high five. He can feel good about his art. 40:51 and then you're going to make them listen to two minutes of ads. We got to do all that and then it's going to be like back to school this fall like 41:02 I don't want to be. Well, hey, there's skippable ads. They're not skip. They are skippable. You got YouTube premium leave all this in that uh 41:16 And so what they concluded was that the DNA that was showing up predominantly in every other cell was the DNA of a twin that she had in the womb that merged. And in her case, it was in a situation where there was that thin line right down the middle on that split. was just completely like merged and there was little bits in every cell of DNA. Oh that's my twins thyroid and that's my twins, three kids. 41:45 And sometimes I have thoughts that are the twins. 41:51 Sometimes I think about my twins thoughts. Sometimes my twin has thoughts. 42:06 before. Sorry. And so as a part of that journey to get to that point before they got before they found the actual DNA in Karen, they tested extended family from Karen's family tree to see if there is any DNA that match. And they found that her children matched her mother. And so for them to match her mother, it had to either be they are Karen's child or one of Karen's siblings child. Karen only had a brother. And so they said it's probably not the case that 42:35 Karen's husband and brother had this these children probably the case that there's something strange going on with Karen's DNA. And so when Alan found this case he got all those documents together and he basically went to the court and requested that Lydia's extended family be tested to see if they were sure to the family line uh as well as they went to see if they could find some other set of tissue within Lydia that matched her children. 43:06 Um, and so they did all those tests with Lydia. They did all the tests with the extended family members. Uh, but the timing of it with where her court date was, they were not able to find out before the court date, uh, the results of her DNA tests. So she went into that court, court date, the genuinely not having an idea about what was going on. Um, and because she, her tests had not come back to her yet. Alan shows up to court, her, her lawyer, um, luckily. 43:35 with the data from the extended families DNA. Okay. And what those tests proved was that uh her mother was the grandmother of the children. And so that ended up being enough to prove to the courts that the children were Lydia's children, because that was, there was no sibling on record. uh It didn't end up coming out until weeks later when she got the results of the test that they did find a second set of DNA within Lydia. And so she was also had the same 44:04 She had the same thing. She had the same thing where she was probably merged with a twin. And the technical term for this is ah chimerism, which is named after the Greek creature, the chimera. Oh. ah Which this is like a Greek mythological creature, which is like a lion and a goat and a snake fused together. I mean, there's lots of iterations of this. This is the most common version in Greek mythology where two creatures have like their... 44:32 they didn't know that DNA, but yeah, where for those listening, it's a lion statue and then it's just got a goat head sticking out. It's literally side like its shoulder right out of its ribs. There's a goat head and then its tail is a snake is a snake. Yeah, like it has a normal tail and then the tip of the tail is the snake head. Yeah, yeah, pretty cool um and so they named this this condition after that it's a kind 44:58 chimerism. Okay, there is a actress who's got the same thing where she's got the line. This one just looks like a sunburn to me, but it is. She has two sets of DNA and says her and who is the actress looking at her. You don't know her. She's not famous. Oh, uh but she, she has the majority of her credits are going on things like the today show to talk about her chimerism and how it's difficult for her and person with 45:27 career. I guess I guess um what's interesting is this is still very new like we obviously like we couldn't find out that this was even possible until we could test DNA and it wasn't even possible. She did play uh Harvey Dent and the Batman movie, though no makeup needed. 45:47 to face. What's interesting is this. This is a very, very new field of study like we don't know a lot about it. There are two ways it happens and there's there's let me get the let me pull this up so I can get the technical. should do a whole episode on Siamese twins. Those things freak me out. There are that's not how I meant to say that I was trying to be in their people. 46:12 there are people and they freak me out. That's not how I meant to say that I meant to say it a different way. It came out very poorly. No, we should do an episode on the time. These twins because or like at least a couple of them, because like I just want to know the social lives of them like they some of them get married. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and it's just like 46:41 You're made of honors right there. Yeah. Yeah. 46:45 that's uncomfortable. I'm now thinking about it too. Most of the Siamese twins that I've seen stories of my entire life are all female. They're always on TLC. Yes, but I are there male Siamese twins is Siamese twins. What we're supposed to call them. It feels like that's not what I call them right. I joined feels. I think conjoined is the word yeah. I think conjoined is what we're supposed to call them. I think you're right there are 47:13 I'm looking at a bunch of them on Google right now. 47:25 I'm looking at a bunch of them right now. 47:33 Yeah, there's dudes. I'm looking at a lot of them right now. 47:39 You 47:50 Oh my God, yeah, I'm looking at a lot of them right now. All right, where are they all joined it because they're joint like I joined at different spots. Yeah, because that's just how it happens. Yeah, yeah, that's so crazy. Yeah, and so essentially chimera ism is the same concept. What's the success rate of D joining conjoined twins? Well, I'm I probably not very much 48:18 because my understanding is like a lot of times they're sharing like their central organs right and so it's like they have like their nervous systems are separate, but their main organs are together. This is what I'm saying. We should do a long breakdown of how this stuff works because I'm very interested. It's interesting because this chimer ism is essentially uh the same conjoined twins thing, but it's happening much early in the pregnant much earlier in the pregnancy. Yeah to where when the child is born you you 48:47 usually can't tell is what they're finding. Like the tetragametic, think is tetra tetragametic or tetragemetic. I'm not sure exactly the pronunciation of that is where it's fusing. And there is a there is a word for it when they're when they get the split, where it's where it's a clear cut between the two. And I can't find the word for that. But there's a word for it where there's the two. So it's essentially 49:16 Two versions is there's a there's a clear cut between you where it's like this half is your twin. The other half is the other and it could be a split. It could be a side by side. There are cases too where it's like you can see this part of you is them. This part of you is them. This part of you is them. That's crazy. Yeah, it's nuts. I don't like saying them and then there's still you then then then there's the other situation where it's like Karen or Lydia where 49:45 You can't tell at all from outward appearances. It's just looking at a cellular level at your DNA. Yeah, look at the cells. There are portions of each cell that are one set of DNA and portions that are the other set of DNA and they're just mixed together like salt and pepper, eh which is crazy, crazy. ah What is really interesting about this research though is they are discovering well, I shouldn't say they're scaring. There is very early signs that 50:13 They believe that one in eight, as much as one in eight of people are this situation, which calls into question DNA test is a whole. Yeah. One in eight? Yeah. Because they know that there are a lot of situations where early in pregnancies, there are two embryos that, and it ends up one fails. And so they're starting to wonder how many of those are fusing in that early stage. And so we don't know for sure yet. 50:41 but there are these early estimates say that there could be as many as one in eight people are this situation, which does really like you never know now, like if that's true, it means one and eight of DNA tests could be wrong because that person's DNA is that calling a question DNA evidence then for crimes a hundred percent because you wouldn't know well because that would still match you though in theory because with the situation of Karen 51:11 if you took DNA from her thyroid and you took DNA from somewhere on her arm, those are going to two different sets of DNA. Yeah, but that would only help you get out of the crime. Well, they're not gonna that wouldn't be like a DNA match to pin you for a crime. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's right. They can't pay, but yeah, you could get out of it. So would be pretty cool, but it did. It did get me thinking. 51:38 You guys are trying to get a DNA sample from me uh for a crime. Can you pull it from my thyroid? Can I choose how? Can I choose what DNA you take? Let me choose the DNA you get. Let me choose. No, let me choose. Let me choose. No, let me choose. Let me do it. Sorry, that is them talking. What? 52:06 I know I sorry my Twitter English twin thoughts the twin doesn't speak English the twin speaks his own they don't speak English. They made up their own language shut up about the see my night. The police like yeah I think they come into the crime. We don't need to do the DNA. That's the 52:36 criminal right there. That's a dog. all right. You're going to jail. I don't know for what, but we're going to put you away for something. You're gonna jail half of me. 52:51 that's also a conjoined twins. Yeah, I mean you were there yeah, but are you responsible? What's the whole time? No, he did it want to do this. He did it. I don't want to do this. I'm turning you in for this. He calls the cops. Hey, so this is going to be awkward. Hey Janus. Yeah, I know it's me again. Here's the thing. It's not me this time. I know 53:20 I mean I'm here. I'm here. I'm here. I'm I'm powerless to stop it to be honest, but it was them. Can you imagine being with me? Yeah, yeah, we were robbed. He was super super kind, really generous, like really nice cut. It came into the conjoined twin was he was a co-joined twin. Only one of them was wearing a basket. Hey, put that away, put that away. 53:44 the twin, the toy is like chill like cop, bad cop situation. Wow, I don't know how insensitive this whole stuff is and I'll be honest. I don't really care. That's crazy. Anyways, so it got me thinking and I don't know if I should put this out on the internet for any would be criminals out there, but crisper is becoming a thing and what is crisper? Are you familiar? 54:13 the mattress company, not even close, not even close. Crisper is this company that is and it's an air fryer, not even close, kind of close. No, because there's a company that's doing the DNA modification and it's crazy. Do you not know about cation? Do you not know about crisper? Is this a thing where like you can choose the sex of your baby before way crazier? Okay, uh crisper. It looks like it honestly. I'm trying to think of how to describe it. Like it looks like kind of a crazy looking syringe. 54:43 and you can modify DNA from a living person and change their DNA um and like right now what they're capable of doing is very, very, very small modifications. Like what kind of modifications we talking about like they can come into your DNA and change like one line of your DNA code. Yeah, but for what end right now what they're researching it. So here's the thing CRISPR is not available to the public. There's a black market overseas that's doing CRISPR 55:12 um just for whatever reason, and they're doing some crazy stuff where they're like changing like actual physical appearance things with DNA. The okay in medicine though, what they're they're looking for genetic diseases and they're selecting out genetic diseases, but they're doing it and people who are already alive, they're just coming in, finding that genetic mutation and changing it uh with CRISPR technology. And it looks like a crazy syringe that that's what they're using for it for it is wild technology and 55:43 we're probably a decade away from it being like mass use, but like the research we're past the early research stage. Like we're kind of in the like get approved to use it on anybody stage. Okay, but we are. We're at the point now where the science is there. It's like yeah, this works. We can do this and now it's like, can we get the government to let us do this? And there's like what are, what are DNA altering diseases that any genetic disease? Okay. And so like Alzheimer's oh 56:13 Is that genetic? I don't know if it's isn't it is that genetic? I genuinely don't know. I don't know what I didn't. don't know what gen what diseases are genetic. That's I'm asking. You're the one that has a Google machine in front of you. Here's a list of genetic diseases from Google, certain types of cancer, Alzheimer's being a Red Sox fan, Huntington's Marfan syndrome, kidney disease, cystic fibrosis, sickle cell anemia, 56:43 I this show more is not showing more, so that's all I got for you right now. Okay, but yeah, anything that's genetic, they can come in and select for that and and just remove it and you can while you're alive. But what's crazy is now the legal route that is happening in the actual medical community today is not doing like cosmetic stuff. The black market and overseas is doing cosmetic changes. They're changing eye colors or changing hair colors. 57:11 they're changing like while you're alive, you can change it yes how because because with this your cells are regenerating yes and so with this technology they come in and they literally will take that part of your genetic code and swap it with a different part of genetic code and it changes you and it's not like, but your cells have to die. They replaced and it's it's insane. I don't know about that since they what and that's the medical researchers are coming out and they're saying this is possible. They're like that's not what our here's what I think, but this is possible. Here's my take on that. I think 57:42 if I had the right coaches, the right nutrition, the right practice schedule and access to the CRISPR DNA changing, altering science. I'm not saying you could be as good or a starter. Even I'm saying I can make the league 58:02 I mean, yeah, if you could get CRISPR modification, yeah, you could for sure. No questions asked. But yeah, there's a lot of, the medical researchers are working really hard to get this approved and they're coming against like a lot of political pushback because of particularly in the religious community, they feel like it's like playing God. But there's people outside the religious community that are kind of. 58:25 being like, well, this is kind of like opening a Pandora's box because if you can modify anything, especially when you're alive, what happens, especially when you give that, if it's a medical thing that is a treatment, like of course it's going to go to the rich and the rich are going to use it and they're going to get ahead and there's going to widen the gap. So there's a lot of like, is incredible technology that could change a lot of lives and save a lot of lives and make a lot of people live better, healthier experiences. And there's the aspect of that that's amazing. And we should do that. 58:55 there's another aspect that is it's risky, ah but it's here and whether or not it happens is. mean it's one those things where it's like the rich have access to it anyway. If you're rich enough, you have access to it. You go overseas and do the black market thing for sure, because yeah, there's a huge black market market for it. Yeah, it's been around for a while. It's crazy. Maybe I should cover it. Well, I kind of covered all all. Maybe I haven't. I could look into it more. That's all I just joined twins episode. Okay, so anyways, 59:25 uh What I was saying was if you could get your hands on a CRISPR device, because they're black market devices anyways, you could modify your DNA. You could go commit a crime, modify your DNA, and then you're good. It wasn't me. Do the test. don't put that out there. 59:44 either. Yeah, so that there's another issue with CRISPR. It's crazy technology, but anyways, that's the story of Lydia Fair, Lydia Fairchild and how she came this close to losing her kids. If it wasn't for her finding this lawyer who was really interested in the case of doing a lot of work and honestly for Karen going like there's just there was just so many dominoes that were like so lucky honestly, because Karen like had she not had kidney failure and had a doctor 01:00:12 who saw that and was like I want to know more about that. Like if the doctor was just like that weird and then just did the procedure and just let it sit like there's so many things that had to fall in line for Lydia to be able to keep her kids and she was able to because of it. Wow and they're like a little bit younger than us her kids. Yeah. I mean her youngest kid was born in two thousand two. So yeah, the oldest kid older kids are probably only a couple years younger than us. So got to grow up with her mother because of happy for you guys. Yeah, if you're watching 01:00:43 I hope we didn't say what's crazy about your Lydia listens to the podcast, but only half of her likes it. I like this show. I love this show. Listen, listen to the funny guys. Oh, I love listen to this podcast. I'm so mad. You're listening to this right now. I hate this podcast so much fiddle off 01:01:11 Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you liked this one, you might like John R. Brinkley. It's another episode where there's a doctor who's doing some weird stuff. It's really worth the watch. And if you want to see next week's episode, you can see that right now over on Patreon. Our patrons get a lot of bonus perks, including seeing every episode a week early ad free. But we'll see you next week on another episode of Things I Learned Last Night.


When Lydia Fairchild applied for child support in 2002, she thought it was a routine process. She was a young mother of two, pregnant with her third child, and wanted to ensure help from her children’s father. But what began as paperwork turned into one of the strangest legal and scientific mysteries in modern history—the case of Lydia Fairchild and … Read More