This week’s episode covers the story of a man named Richard McGuire who snuck onto a deserted island at Disney World called Discovery Island. The island used to have an attraction in the 1970s and 80s where you could see exotic animals and birds. It was shut down in 1999 after Animal Kingdom opened. Since then, it has sat abandoned, … Read More
Meet Richard McGuire The Man That Tried Disney
Episode Transcription
Hey, this week we talk about a guy who's snuck onto a deserted island at Disney World. So there is an island at Disney World that they just they used to have an attraction out there. They closed it down, and then a lot of people have been trying to sneak out there, and this guy was like, they've got mysterious things out there, they're hiding from us, and he was determined to get out there. So we talked all about the history of the island, all the attempts to get out there, and then this one specific guy who did not get away with it. And we're doing podcasts work comedy podcast where we teach you some stuff that I learned literally last night. So it's not like you're learning a lot, but you're you're learning a lot of time. We're gonna have fun. Yeah, you got any shows coming up? This comes to June fourth. Okay, summer is empty, so the fall is very busy, but I can't talk about those yet. Yeah, but for now it's just just you and me. Well yeah, slow summer man, thanks for bringing it up. You're welcome. Let's do the episode. Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of Richard McGuire, Richard McGuire, Is that is that Mark's legal name? No? Is that? Oh? Shoot, I blanked out of the Tom Cruise movie McGuire. Uh what's his name in that? Uh? Lizzie McGuire. Yes, Cruise played Lizzy McGuire and none of us realized. Just roll it. We're gonna try to get through this one today. Anyways. Well, you're maybe you've heard of this? Have you ever heard of Discovery Island? Is it Toby maguire? Who is that? What? I'm getting a bunch of names mixed up in my head right now. I don't know what to I don't know what to tell you. Have you heard of Richard McGuire? No? Have you heard of Discovery Island? Yes? Have you heard of this? Southern Island? Is that place you go to on a third grade field trip where they do you like, put your hand on the ORB thing and all your hair stands up and okay, yeah, I could see the science center type of Discovery center Discovery Island? Yeah, if they put it on. Do you guys have a Discovery center in Denver? We had like a children's museum, okay, the same as Discovery center, you know, what Discovery Center is because you were in Springfield. Okay, yes, okay, I forgot that you were in Springfield at some point. Have you heard of the Southern Southern Pirate? Is that who Anthony McGuire is? No, Richard McGuire. Richard McGuire, Yeah, Richard McGuire. He's also known as the Southern Pirate. He's a YouTuber and we're gonna get to him in a minute, but first we got to talk about Disney's Discovery Island. Yeah, so Disney in uh wait, is there a pirate of the Disney Island? Let me guess how the rest? There's all these trees. They discontinued the ferry. They forgot one small boy out there. He has lived out there since nineteen ninety nine and he's raised by the Exotic Animal Raid. Well, they took the animals. Yeah, no, they left. Yeah, I went one day. They went back out there, and he started throwing spears at him. Things I learned last night. All right, So Discovery Island. Discovery Island opened up in April eighth, nineteen seventy four. Yeah, and it was an island in the center of like Disney's Little Lake that they got in Disney World, you know, the little lake in the middle. Yeah, So they got the island right in the middle, and it's a natural, naturally formed island, and they said, what if we turned this also into a park and they so what they did is they did and so on April eighth, nineteen seventy four, they opened up Discovery Island and basically you would pay for your ticket price and then you would ride the boat across the lake, okay in a little ferry boat, and then you get off and then you could tour the island. And on the island they just had like a bunch of exotic animals and stuff. It was it was an island zoo Animal Kingdom before. Yeah, And ironically it was open until a year after Animal Kingdom opened. They opened Animal Kingdom April eight Discovery Island and then they were like, they're like, we like the island better, and they were like, no, you don't, yeah, and they're like, there is no island. So I do appreciate it about Disney is that Disney can just be like no, no, you don't. Yeah. You know, they just bought like well they guess got approved to expand disney Land. Uh. Yeah, they're going to cross like two city blocks into the parking lot. Well, they're going to make some new parking lots and then they're going to make like a frozen area and a school, like a Mawana area. Oh that's fun. Oh cool, Like there just like two different sides of the scale, gotten cold. They have a Katy Perry the middle. Yeah, Mowana is the volcano. Right. Oh? I thought you were gonna say, Okay, I know is. I haven't seen ma Wana to be honest, Is that right, Alex? It's it's Hawaii, right, yeah, I think it's Hawaii. Yeah. What did you say, alex as kids? Yeah we yeah, we know that about them. Yes. No. Oh speaking of Alex, I at my barber yesterday saw a fundraiser for the Boy Scouts, And I'll tell you what they do, Alex. They just sell beef jerky now, oh, and not the good stuff like slim gyms, off brand, off brands, fat Joe's. They weren't Boy Scouts brand. I'm sure that's what it is. I'm sure it's their brand of but it's not like it doesn't say like boy Scout jerky. There's no good way to trying to be like can't say that out loud. Yeah. Yeah, there's none of them that work. There's none of them that passed. Eagle stick, Eagle eatles, Eagle Eagle eatles. That was not bad. That was not bad, isn't it? So? Anyway, So Discovery Island opens in seventies and then is open into when did Animal Kingdom? Animal? We should just do a whole thing on Disney World, you know, it's how much we did a whole thing on Epcot. Yeah, one, and we did a whole thing on Walt Disney. Right, Yeah, we've got a lot of Disney episodes. Maybe we can I'm saying, created a Disney playlist lean into it. So no, Animal Kingdom opened April twenty second, nineteen ninety eight, and Discovery Island closed April eighth, nineteen ninety nine, So it literally was opened for one more year. And they realized pretty quickly. They're like, oh, we kind of cannibalized that other park we made by opening it. I don't know if they knew that from the start. That's immediately what I knew. They should hire me. Yeah, well, I'm big. If you're listening to this, when does this come out? This one will come out geez in a while. June fourth, June fourth, that's still this quarter, right, yeah, I'll say next quarter he's gonna be out of here. So their their earnings report wasn't very good, and they're switching to streaming and we're talking stocks now, yeah we are. This is a stock We are Grown the Stock podcast. Yeah, we both turned thirty. So Discovery Island was open for a little bit. Yes, you could go see exotic animals and birds and stuff like that. You could you could roll up to their docks and presented by frisky Did you've notice that in the picture Discovery Island presented by Friskies cat food. And so then it just sat abandoned since ninety nine, right, obviously, yeah, obviously. Well here's the deal. If you're on the shore of the lake, you just see this pretty island, you don't see that it's abandoned. Yeah, Like there's a park in there. Because if they discn the fairy, if you look at it, let me guess how the rest of it. All these trees, they discontinued the fairy. They forgot one small boy out there. He has lived out there since nineteen ninety nine and he's raised by the exotic animals. Right, well they took the animals. Yeah, no, they left him. Oh it was kind of a quick shutdown. Yeah, they went one day, they went back out there and he started throwing spears at him, and really the only way they found him was there was it was a it was an eighteen year old who was like, I want to evangelize this lost people group and uh he was swimming spared the chest, Yeah he did. Yeah. Yeah, well you're really close, I should say shockingly close. So here's what happened. It was it's been in sat Abandon since ninety nine. In the early two thousands, there was a movement on blog spot you remember blog spot, Yeah, for urban exploring. They called urbex quick thing on a blog spot. Yeah. Are you aware that open ai like chat is pulling information from like blogspot blogs. Yeah, I would assume, so it's pull it from everywhere, and so I would assume that's right. Yeah, which means that when you ask chat gipt a question, it's pulling information from blogs. Yeah, some random dudes blog, which is like, do we could just I mean, who even like Wikipedia's monitored blogspot, No one's going to read that. We could put insane stuff out there, and then chat shipt will start telling people that for real, that's a legitimate concern but also opportunity. Uh so, I mean a lot of people are like, oh, we're so afraid of AI. I'm not afraid of AI if you're on the right side of the war. Okay, there's Oh people are going to become tyrants with AI. Yeah, yeah, they we are. You got nothing to be afraid of if you're one of the tyrants. Clip it. Okay. So so early two thousands, blog spots popping off, and one of the subgroups in blog spot is urbeks and exploring abandoned places, and this became urbex stands for urban exploration, which is interesting because they're they're exploring abandoned places, so I feel like they're missing the a It should be baba are bab bex or bad becks because it's abandoned. It's only abandoned that they're exploring, so urban abandoned. You get the point. This became kind of like a crown Jewel achievement for urbeks people on the spot because here's the deal you get you can't get in. Yeah, Disney's like highly secure because the point of the Urbs Exploration is like you're going and you're posting a blog post. When you post that blog post, you want to be the only person who's been to this place. Yeah, it's an abandoned spot that no one else has got to. So that's like what everyone's trying to target is like I want to find some cool place that most people can't get to. So theme parks really quickly became kind of like one of the like crown jewels from people's Yeah, I mean kind of any place that's tough to get in where it's like they got gates, maybe security or anything like that. Each Southwest Airlines. I want to get on that plate. That's what Marilyn was doing. Been sounds like a prescription drug that you should consult your doctor about twice daily. Ibsen. Yeah, maybe you get herbex here, you get herbs here. Okay, So they they really wanted to get here because one it's on DISNEYLANDSSON that is like I've heard of it, Uh no, No. The other one there was another one Celebration City. Okay, Yeah, so there's a castle, like a castle, there's like a venue that's like the out there steerors shaded their castle yeah, you had definitely seen beause remember we showed the videos of that big wooden roller coaster getting torn down. That was brains in that celebration city. Anyway, a church now leases the building. I have to get to the church, you have to walk through the closed theme park, and it's a little eerie, to be honest. That is pretty dope, honestly though. Yeah. Yeah, And they have like the choir in the park, but they're at a different spot every Sunday, and they like hide them and they're singing hurt choir. I was what theme park had a choir? What are you talking about? Okay, they haven't let the choir go. It closed down. The choir has a choir still, that is like in a theme park castle. Yeah, but they hide them around the park, so every time you come in, you don't know where they are. You just hear them singing in the distance, just the choir singing some old hymn halo. Yeah, and they only sunrise services, so it's like by the time while you're getting there, still dark out right, the bats are still flying around. Okay, So anyway, I'm sorry, I trying to bring anything up. Okay, So people are trying how many people? Okay, yah, yeah, So so here here's the reasons why it's exciting. One, it's on disney World property. Still, Like, disney World wraps around this lake, and so to get in, you have to get into disney World. But if you've ever been to disney World where there's gonna be alligators in that water. Yeah, so if you if you get to Disney Old sorry, if you get to disney World property, you know, hey, you can get to the lake. Okay, parking lots, you know, hey, like it's just parking lots. But so you can get to the lake pretty easily. But there are fairies moving all over this lake because that's one way to transport between the parks. As you could ride the fairies to the other parks. Sure you have. Well, I mean, I guess this is an option one. Sorry, I'm not one. I'm sious no one has tried that, but I guess that is an option. I mean, that's it's pretty not conspicuous because the ferry drivers are all like, hey there, little silker stuff. Yeah, I guess you're right. Their guests probably like hey, somebody, hey, someone jumped off. I think I think that guy's going to Discovery Island. But yeah, you're right, there are gators in this water, and it's like it's like it's like well documented that there's gaters in this water. They attack people. Really at disney World, it has happened. How many times have people gotten bitten by alligators at disney World? Not a lot. Well, this last one, this last one was actually a really bad one. That was really sad. And so then they like purged the lake of alligators. They said there's no more in there. Whether that's true or not, I don't know whether they how they could know for sure that there's no more because of the water feeds out and so I don't know. Maybe they put some grapes up. But a gator did nab a kid from the shore recently. And then that disney World. Yeah, and then they went on like a campaign. It was like a couple of years ago, and they went on a campaign to like rid the that lake of gators. Oh that's what they did. Yeah, it was really really sad. But at the early two thousands, this was crawling with gaters and allegedly bull sharks and snapping turtles. Snapping turtles makes sense, Yeah, And so this is a dangerous, la. This is not a lake. You want to lake a lake? Day, I meant put them all in there. Well, it was like, okay, let them get to my island. The island was a good spot for Walt to hide his stuff. Still is Yeah, interesting, interesting, he's out there. He's singing the hymns on Discovery Highlands alone. Well, couldn't keep a tune. What's that sound? Is secure? Watching the park later night? What's that sound? We're pretty sure it's Walt Disney. They did go, you know, because that he gave He gave the alliators rabies to just to make them a little more. He was subjected him. Here's here's Herba Becksen, Herba bes Rba Mexan. Yeah, presented by friskies. So this is a tough island to get to. And allegedly there's cameras everywhere. Do people try? Like? How many people failed? Is what I want to know. I down, I clearly a guy made. I can't tell you how many people fail, but I can't tell you that. In two thousand and four, the first explorer was a guy by the name of Shane Perez, and he was a prominent er Er Bexer from the blog spot days and he was smart. So, uh, he snuck out there. And this was kind of an early so what I should say, he had the benefit of being the first person to try this, and being the first person to try this was before Disney World realized people wanted to try this. Okay, okay, okay, so you know exactly what that means. So he heard the rumors about it, and he wanted to see over there, and he tried a couple different times to sneak over there, and he realized, Okay, getting across this lake is really tough because of all the fairies. I'm going to have to sky dive in. Oh my gosh, No, these guys don't have that kind of resources. Okay, And so yeah, he wanted he he wanted to get across on boat, on a boat. But he's like, He's like, I don't think there's any way you could get across this boat without getting seen by some of the fairies or security on wo Okay, Well, I mean it's it's wow, you're not you don't have to get into the park. And honestly, also, let's look, let's looking what's that for? Uh, splash mountain splash, I brought my own toboggan. I'm sorry, I brought my own toboggan. I brought my own It's okay. I thought I was supposed to. That's what it said on the thing. That's what my mom always told me when we came, and she was, we can't ride that. We didn't bring our own toboggan. That I'm saying out loud. I realized that we want me to ride it, deal with all that stuff. But this is a good boat. I don't want to. Can I please just carry it with me to pass pro that you can't bring about in the park unless it's clear, you can only bring a clearer boat. So he he was, I can't take the bat. I'm gonna have to swim, and uh so he tries it. He swims, He gets a bunch of waterproof bags by an alligator, and he makes it across and he takes a bunch of photographs and he gets the first ever photograph from within a Discovery Island. And it's a little decrupid. I mean, it's been abandoned for five years. At this point he can see he really just left it out there. Yeah, they just pieced out and there's he's find some cool stuff like signage and posters, posts a bunch of pictures, and everyone's like, oh, that's interesting. Here's the thing. And then he hears a what does that sound? And he says, I better keep this to myself. Better never speak of this again. I really wanted to find an island boy. You know, this is where the Island Boys came from. Discover Discovery kid that's been on the island for five years. Yeah, living off the land. He's got a little farm that he's built. He played Minecraft, so it's a lot harder in your life. He's been punching the walls. Minecraft isn't rewarding for him anymore. Maybe that's what we should talk about, you know, wre wire. Young adult men so gravitated toward video games is because they can succeed at video games. Ah yeah yeah, yeah yeah, but they can't succeed succeed in real life. That's an interesting point. I like video games. Okay, so uh he gets there, He takes all these pictures. Whatever, Right, here's the deal. This guy, he's got a noggin. He knew that Florida's statute of limitations was four years and so he waited five years to post his pictures. Oh lot to leave statute of limitations. I could stay I could stay here. So he posted these in two thousand and nine. Yeah, he waited five years to post his pictures, and his pictures were the most infamous pictures we've got. He got them in very early pictures. Okay, and so Disney obviously they found out and they were pretty upset about this. But the problem was he did it five years ago. Yeah. It was like, oh, statute of limitations, and Disney's like, well, you can't ever come to our parks. Pretty wild, But that's just a thing. It's like, yeah, hey, five years ago, I did a crime and you can't do anything about it. Now you're like, what I waited? Yeah, Also a four year statute of limitation, that'd be like, that's not very long. Four years is not long at all. That's a degree. 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If not, thanks for being here. We really just we love making the show and we hope you enjoy watching it. It's not the tics. He doesn't have any illegal ramifications, but Disney is still like this can never come to a park again, You can never go to anything everything, And so he got way till you close, so he gets banned. I'll explore your parks when you're no longer around. Uh. Then there was a guy in two thousands seven. So this is before he posted his pictures. Okay, so this is the first known person to get on, but he wasn't the first person to get on. But he made the mistake of posting it. Well, he made the mistake of working for Disney. His name was Nomius, Nomius in no pronounces word n O M e u s. No maus so biblical, which is perfect because this is a betrayal. So no maus. He worked for Disney, and so he was he was an inside man. I like no Maus way better. And he and his friends borrowed some of Disney's boats uh during overnight uh, and they voted across, got a bunch of pictures, posted some stuff, wrote the blog post, but it got deleted, which is sensible. He worked there, They they they clearly found out that he did it, and he didn't signed no Mayus. Ticketing director at disney World's Animal Kingdom signs in parentheses, also known as Bob Iger signs friend of Mickey. That's what they said. That's like a title. There is actually handler is a friend. Oh, that's the person. So the person not the person in the they're not allowed to call them costumes or like because that's really Mickey, And so if you're a friend of Mickey, you are the person in the Yeah, who they think they're forn children, I think primarily is who they're trying to full of me. Disney. Well, you're in an old Kaines so Disney. Uh he gets on, Well, no, no, Maeus, no, Mayeus gets on the island. He explores to take some pictures post as sure. And here's the deal about both him and Shane. If they they went right before sundown and they just stayed while they had some sunlight, sure, and so they didn't get to explore the fly and it's a pretty big island. They didn't get to explore the whole thing, and they always wanted to go back, but they kind of had, you know, all right, So here's the satellite view of it. Oh okay, is that the island I'm assuming? Yeah, right in the middle of Bay Lake there. You can't see Animal Kingdom because it's a different area. But Animal Kingdom is probably about as big as if you look down by the Four Seasons Golf sports Club there, that whole area with all those like little streets there. Yeah, that's like the size of Animal Kingdom. Okay, And so the other parts that you can see the Magic Kingdom right there are is pretty small compared to that whole area is this. Yeah, but I mean if you if you look at that island and move it over Magic Kingdom, it's about like, I don't know, probably thirty percent of Magic Kingdom. It's pretty big. Yeah, it's the largish island, Okay, okay, okay, Yeah, that's where I was kind of trying to put together. And and really the way people are trying to get here is from the Wilderness Lodge, the docks at the Wilderness Lodge, or the docks at the contemporary resort. Oh, it's because in but you can get there's a closer edge of it. There is a closer edge, but you can't get to that as easily, is the problem. Like it's really easy to get to the Wilderness Lodge of the contemporary resort. This back here is a neighborhood and so like, and I'm making sure it's as like private access roads and stuff like that. Sure, and then there's that's like a wooded area between the neighborhood. But then there's this stream that comes out right. So in theory, if you could get to that stream. If you could boat it, you could boat your way and yeah, yeah, but that's pretty I mean this is a closed lake, you know, right, and so like getting into it, people would see you and think, why are you here? Probably the faerry pilots do you call them pilots or conductors or of the captains of the fairies captains, yeah, captains, maybe fairies. Just just call them fairies, the fairy fairies, friend of the fairy, friend of the fairy. Did they make them dress up like fairies? That would be a little too on the nose for Disney. They're on the nose, but they're not on the nose, you know, they're on the ears. So what they did sometimes there's a lot of talk I go hilla and this eventually wow, hope. So Nomius didn't get any legal no maas sorry, didn't get any legal ramifications. He got fired and he did get banned from Disney property. But he was, as far as Disney knew, the first person to do this. Then a couple of years ago, Shane put out his footage and they were like freak man, and they're like, let's take legal action. And then law was like, sorry, been too long. I guess and they're like, that's it's crazy fa Yeah, And so long story short, there was a handful of more people, handful of other people who started trying to make it, and people would get caught along the swim, or they take a boat, they get hot in the boat. Some people managed to make it all the way on the island and get a handful of pictures, but they didn't last long on the island. It was always a situation where nobody ever managed to explore the full island. Okay, and then came Hill. Our friend Richard McGuire Southern Pirate, and Richard McGuire he had a YouTube channel where he would do outdoorsy stuff. He called himself the Southern Pirate, and so his whole YouTube channel was him catching turtles and talking about him and like doing like outdoor living type of Florida bear grills. Yeah, actually very accurate. And so here's a picture of our Southern Pirate. He had a youth track. He had a YouTube channel and he would just go out in the woods in Florida, and to be honest, this might have just been in like a wooded area right off a highway, and then he would film it and do make YouTube videos about it. Sure, he had one other thing going for him though, that helped him become very successful on YouTube. He has a couple of YouTube videos that have like multimillion views. And the thing that he had going for them. I wonder if you could guess, actually, what do you think it was? What do you think it was? Wait? Is it? He has something going for him? Yeah, he had another thing that he did with his content. He did this Southern pirate stuff, but he did another thing that kind of helped him really, Like what year is this? This is he started in I think twenty seventeen, this event was twenty twenty. Aliens uh close. He's a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Yeah, and he would talk about his conspiracies on his channel, so he had these to be out in there. He'd be like, this is a turtle. You know, this is all the stuff you're going to find in Florida. You know what else you're gonna find in Florida. Because the reason I'm showing you all these lizards so you can identify them when they're in their camouflage suits. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. What time I look at myself and for a second, I was like, it's not my own eyes. Am I a lizard man? Can't trust nobody. The second you trust yourself, it's over for you. Yeah, you trust yourself, that means you're gonna trust someone else. If you trust yourself, that just means you you're relying solely on your self control. And so here's the deal with he was a little bit of a conspiracy. Conspiracy was he putting out? Well? It was interesting the way he did that because he would do he would do wilderness outside video and then he would do a video with no video. It was just his logo, his little Southern pirate logo, and then audio of him telling you about this. It's just like a YouTube podcast where take hate and it's like Relliant like there always like swallowing the microphone. Sure, anyway, I was looking at the other day and I was googling some stuff and it's like, come on, You're like, oh my goodness. Yeah. And so he was pretty deep into the Illuminati for sure. Probably talked about the Denver International Airport once or twice, okay, And one of his favorite talks was Walt Disney's connection to the Illuminati. And he was like He's like, he was an illuminator. Is that what was he thinking? Yes? Was he thinking there was something on this island. Yeah, So he was pretty convinced that they shut the island down due to hold on, are you ready for this dramatic effect. He was pretty convenent that they were trying to revive dinosaurs on the island and they succeeded, and the dinosaurs, he was like, got loose. Literally Jurassic Park. He was like, the dinosaur got loose. He's like everything they show you in movies is just a reflection of real life. There's there's making it so that you get comfortable with the idea that dinosaurs exist, so that they can roll out and be like real. Yeah, he's like, the dinosaur got loose, and it was like a big dinosaurs, like one of the veloci raptors, the little ones you know. Yeah, it's like it's on there, but it's like not a big dinosaur. And they were like, we need to shut this park down and just trap it on the island, right though. Could you imagine goes out there to take some pictures and then in the picture you just see like a And so he was convinced that he's going to go to this island and find sure this dinosaur. And so he made plans. You catch him in the water. Yeah, right, you're one of the Disney police. Yeah you catch him. Yeah you go, hey, well you do not here. I'm going to find your dinosaurs. That what you're hiding out there, I'm going to find you. So he's doing that video. Uh zoo also like and subscribe. He uh, he wanted to go out there to find the dinosaur. He also wanted to get because he did the urban exploration thing too a little bit. He was kind of he was kind of he didn't have a niche he was a little all over the place like us. Yeah. Actually, uh, and so he would go all over the place and uh, he wanted to do the urban explorer thing here. He wanted to find the dinosaur. And he also he also just really wanted to go because here's the thing. He grew up in Florida and he was I'm always saving up he grew up, I'm saving up money to go to Discovery Island. And then he's like putting every dollar away because he's doing the Dave Ramson. He's trying to get a debt, you know, he doesn't want to do. Yeah, that was his reward for getting a debt. Finally, Debt nineteen ninety nine. He rolls into Disney. He's paid, He's got the shirt. April's most expensive week ever, April seventh. He pays his last thing. He said, Tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow's the day, woke up, went to the park, and then he went They did this on purpose. They did. They knew, they knew I what are they hiding? They knew I was debt free, and they knew that my debt free brain would know what they were up to. I have a debt free brain. Through your lies, Disney, We're gonna send this to Dave Ramsey. We're trying to get on their podcast network, and Tim going, I have a debt free brain is probably gonna get us there. I think it might. I have a dead free brain. Me no thinking about debt. So he goes wear that shirt today. You look like you're about to like talk to me about becoming my financial advisor for clients. Yeah, it looks like it in my license because you played in the golf figuring to be good. Yeah, I have been. It's a thirties, my midlife crisis. Where are you golfing that requires a collared shirt? What do you think I got you at golf at cheap clubs. I don't golf at cheap clubs. I go to the best of the best, and they say you're not a member, you need to get out of here. And then I golf right outside the fence. I go to a big shot I can't afford top golf. Okay, So he really wanted to go as a kid, but he asked his parents, and his parents said that they weren't going to pay ten dollars for him to just see a bunch of animals, and so he never got a chance to go as a kid. And he really wanted to go. Okay, So he really did have one of those like I wanted to Yeah, he really genuinely wanted to go as a kid, and they wouldn't let him go because, okay, they didn't think his parents didn't think it was worth it, which should be fair. In like the seventies, ten dollars was twenty dollars. Yeah, it's a lot of money to see some birds. I don't know, uh birds, so you even know they're gonna be out there. Still, we're gonna pay twenty dollars right, gether? They have wings, Yeah, they can fly away. But when you keep it keeping don't make any sense to me. You guys could get out of here. You guys know it's less. Have you been to zoo, it's for a while. I don't think they're worth it. I think they're worth it. I went in twenty twenty. Actually, you know, you can never mind? What's that? Never mind? So I see animals for free? Huh? I can see animals for free? I mean yeah, but they're not trained, the ones at the zoo sometimes. Okay, try and give it them commands next time. You go. Know what we didn't have we we they were listen. So in Springfield there is the Dickerson Park Zoo, a real zoo, and then there is the why Live Animal Safari out in Strafford, Missouri. Yeah, which I never got to do. I always wanted to do that, did you, Because it's a school bus. It drives through the their Once you google satellite, you know Wildlife Animal Safari in in Springfield, Missouri, so you can kind of pull up what that looks like from above, because they've got tigers and you know, exotic animals yeah, Missouri and the yes, hold on, hold on, I'll show you. I mean this honestly, you're saying this like I should think that this isn't great, But the more it's very tiger king energy. Yeah, this is incredible. Look at that. Yeah it's I wasn't joking. I was like, it's and there's just a free wandering camel at a they're like mixed mixing animals, like these animals don't belong in the same pin and it's just a green space in Missouri. Yeah, that's the craziest thing ever seen. But you're literally in a school bus. Yeah, that's like painted like a zebra. That's incredible. I can't kind of sat with the to blend in with the zebra. They're like, oh, that's just one of us. The animals are like, oh yeah, you really let yourself go. Isn't that Why isn't that crazy? Yeah? This is man. We should go well, hold on, oh is this it? Okay? Till and live wild animal safari? Okay, I see this? What hold on? First of all, I'm gonna take two screenshots, okay, and I'm gonna show them too, So one of them is gonna be we'll focus on the wildlife animal safari thing for a second. Sure the other one is going to be slightly zoomed out. Oh you can see what else is around there, so you can see this other thing I noticed? Okay, so here is uh, here's the map of it. Yes, yeah, it's just a bunch of trails and stuff like that. Is that a golf course behind it? I don't know what it is behind it? No? No, No, that's not that. Is that? That's yeah? That thing down there with the trails, is that? This is the thing. Yes, and they just let the animals just roam. Yes, they're in this now. You just hear the bus Where the pin is they pen the day is where the Yes, where like the lions and tigers are. So you see that up front with them on the buns and they've got all the water just doing whatever they want done. Yes, that's crazy and this is not their natural habitat. Absolutely never seen a tornado before, and they're like, what is this? What is happening? What's the other thing you notice? Yeah, So if we zoom out just slightly, you'll notice on the side it's the side by side over there. If we zoom out a little bit, it is assassins. What are they doing over there? What's their company? Can I find out more about side by side assassins? What are they doing? Click that we're derailing the whole episode for this. That's a house. Yeah, it's like someone's house. Oh, side by side the Yeah, I thought they were just killing people. Yeah, that's kind of you guys to us. Side by side is like the the all terrain vehicles. Yeah, okay, and these people kill them. They kill people side by side assassins. They roll up on the side. That's what it's night, right, it's dark with your flashlight and they always have side by sides, always have the LED lights all over them. Yeah, and you just here and they always got music on two. It's the lights like blinding. Right. That'll be twenty dollars cheapest. Assassins. We handle your problem side side by side, all right? What do they do with them? And they just they just fix them. They put them in the back and then they bury them someone. I think I know what I'm saying, like they why are they called assassins? Oh, I'm my guess is the rentals? Because it does look like there's like open land around here, So I wonder if you can rent them and ride them around here. I bet you can go into the wild, ride them into the park, chase the water buffalo around. All right, that was a fun side thing. Okay, so hey, thanks for being here for this episode of Thanks are the last night. If you want to help us grow our show, the easiest way to do that is to share it. Send this link to somebody, be like, hey, this is a fun podcast I listened to. I would love it if you would listen to it with me, because that's probably how you found the show. Someone you know shared it with you and you were like, this is pretty good. And so it helps us a lot, and it makes it so that we can keep doing this and make episodes until one of us dies. Tim, but please share it and I will still be here after he's long gone. Anyways, he really wanted to go to Discovery Island never been, never been, really wants to go, and so he says, I'm gonna go. I'm going to find I'm going to experience it for the first time in my life. I'm gonna take all my Urban Explorer pictures and stuff and get a YouTube video out of this, Okay, and then I'm gonna find the dinosaur, and he says, look, everybody else who's ever done this before. They've been there for four hours tops. They haven't seen the whole island. And he's like, gonna yeah, And he says there's been a couple of hurricanes since this shutdown, so he's like, I'm sure it's not in good shape. And so he's like, I'm gonna need it all the time I can get to really thoroughly look through this. So he packs a bag and he plans on spending a week on this island. And he sys, I'm gonna spend a week camping out on this island find everything. There'll be no stone left unturned. I'm gonna discover the mystery whatever they're hiding. And so he puts together a plan. He says, I'm gonna canoe across. He said canoes are small enough. He says, I think I could go unnoticed. I'm gonna wait until sundown. I'm gonna camp out one night, and I'm gonna bring all this stuff I need to camp out and until indefinitely for a week, and definitely for one week, indefinitely until Friday. And so he pulls up to the parking lot and now that we have the satellite V we can actually kind of see this. So he pulls up to the parking lot I think at the Wilderness Lodge and he gets his canoe. He's got his canoe strapped on the roof of his car and he goes out and he kind of scoping the area to kind of get his bearings and figure out how he's going to get out there. Uh. And when he comes back to his car, someone stole his canoe and so he's like, oh man, And so he's like, I'm not going to have to figure out a new plan. Maybe see if I can find a new boat, come out a different night. And so it's like kind of put a wrench in his plans. Oh. So he heads home and he's like trying to figure out what's going to do. He stops at a seven eleven and on his way back at the seven eleven there's a dude with a kayak onto the roof of his car. So he approaches the guy and he says, yeah, I steal this as a stick up. I'm going to steal this kayak. He says, I need your kayak. This is official police business. No, he asks him. He says hey, can I buy that kayak off you? And the guy's like, now, first say I like please, I really need it for something, Please, I need it. I need that kayak for something. And I was like what, okay, what do you need a kayak for? So he pleads with him for a minute. The guy's finally like, look, I'm not going to say this kayak, but I actually do have another boat that I'm trying to get rid of. Do you want it? And then I was like yes, yes, please, yes, please, yes, yeah I want to, he says. He says, look, it's not in great shape. I'll give it to you for fifty bucks. And he's like deal, and so he follows him home, kills him, takes the kayak and it's fifty dollars back and fifty dollars and the other boat. Now he falls the home buys this boat. But the boat is it's this metal kind of like you can't even really classify it. It probably holes in it. Yeah, it's a bucket. This is a bucket essentially. He's like, well, it's better than nothing, and so oh really yeah, So he takes it and this time he says, okay, this is like trying to float out there on one of those sleds, you know, those little round kinda kind of And so he takes his boat to that neighborhood. Oh, and he says, look, he says, the situation at the park, there's too much movement, too many people around, many people stealing boats. Yeah. Yeah, He's like, I need to go in the neighborhood. So he parks in the neighborhood, takes that boat, and he wades through the trees and it takes him. Uh. So he goes in that neighborhood, wads through that big thicket of trees and it takes him, he said, like over an hour to wade through all these trees because it's so thick with that boat especially. And he gets out there, gets to the water and pretty quickly realizes this boat is taking in water. And so he had two decisions or one decision. Two choices, go back and try to find out a new solution, reassessent come back, or push through see if I can make it. And so he decides to push through, and the boat sinks and he basically swims the back half of the route into land, but he makes it. He makes it to the island and he finds a structure on the island that's like not in great shape, but it's like still standing and it's starting to storm, and so he camps there for the night, lights a fire and sleeps and goes to sleep, sleeps on there until daybreak and he wakes up and he starts exploring the island's getting all this video, getting all his photos, looking for whatever he can find. And he's finding a lot of the stuff that a lot of the other people who've made it out he had discovered. There's some like there was a snake wrapped up inside a coke bottle that like died in a coke bottle. He found that and cool, so there's like all the labor Yeah, I do, okay, that was info that could have been cut that, you know, when you got your little list and you go could cut this this. Well, remember but I don't have my notes. My notes disappeared by the computer goblin. Yeah, so he I can't remember what am I supposed to cut this or not? He goes, he goes through the island, sees a bunch of stuff, and about halfway through this day, he's he thinks he's in the clear. Sure, he's walking through this is day one. This is day one. He's walking through and then he walks out of one of the buildings and he's walking across the little aisleway and he notices on a tree next to him a trail camp and he's like, oh shoot. He's like, he's like that totally got me. He's like, they got me, yeah, and so he kind of freaks out and he runs back to his camp. He tears down his camp really quick, gets his bag put together, and then he runs into the brush to like hide in the brush because he's like, he's like, I got to figure out what I'm going to do. And while he's like running into the brush, he hears voices on the island. Oh shoot, okay, what happened was security? And what year is this again? This is twenty twenty. Yeah, So security guards on Disney's parks got an alert from the trail camp for sure, which they're like, never seen that before, and so they call the sheriffs and they said, hey, we I think we need some backup to go look at this. And so Disney they called animal control and they were like, listen, I think we have a dinosaur dinosaur on the island, And so they call the sheriff and they wait on the docks for the sheriff to show up. The sheriff shows up and they take a boat across with the sheriff right, and so there's two security guards to sheriff. Where'd you get this canoe? It's really nice? Yeah? Thanks yet thanks? Do you guys want me to sing? He's standing in a gondola like one of those, like, so, you're not supposed to stand on a boat like this. This is a canoe singing to the officers. Most people kiss during this part. That's a weird thing for the singer to say, isn't it. Where he's like, most people kiss during this part? Kiss her kiss? He said, we got some Disney ip that might work for this. He starts saying, to kiss the girls. My looks like that boy's too shy, not gonna kiss the other cop from the front Disney Police album Kiss the Cop. All the other tracks include Day's Our Guests. So the constant syd make a cry out of this, I plenty evidence in your backpack. So the four of them get onto the island. They make sure, they make sure, and they break out and they start going to the island. Meanwhile, security gets two speed bows and they start circling the island and setting up a perimeter around the island. And then the sheriff was like, you know, i'd be sweet they got there, you guys your kiss, it'd be cool. Could a chopper rock? And so they did. So they got a chopped the chopper circling. I'll tell you what. I live in Los Angeles and uh, that's all that. Yeah, they think it's really the kids so sick there. They patrol every neighborhood with a helicopter. It's truly insane. How many of them are flying over my house all the time. They think it's sick. Yeah, they're gonna find you. That's the helicopter sound. Yeah, yeah, we have helicopter assassin's out there. Can you imagine that? Though? Because this is I mean this, I'm pretty sure this was happening right before the park shut down. And so you're at Disney World and you see the island is being circled by security guards and a helicopter, a police helicopter, and and one of those kodn't Gondolis is going out and you can hear him sing it what's happening over there? What are they doing on the island. I think it's one of those times where a police officer is proposing to his girlfriend by fake arresting her and then being like, just kidding, but you've arrested me. You know. Have you seen those videos? Yeah, yeah, they were gonna do that. So they get out there, they're looking for him, and they are like they're like seriously trying to find him. We have this shot from one of the trail cams. Oh, and then they have their weapons out and they are clearing, like going from room to room on Yeah. I don't really understand why they think, like this guy is a threat or whatever. Sure, but they're going back and forth. And so he and IM not making this up, buries himself in the woods and to where they just had his head hanging out and he put a bunch of it's the visual of you're going you're like bear in the woods and he like puts some bread and you're like using your tongue to put the leaves of your mouth like freaking hunger games. Dude, he doesn't cover his face hung game. He covers everything but his face, and so the dirt just comes out to his face like this it's just his face to get out of the ground. And then the cops are like clearing the place that they find him like that, because it's like a clearing, it's just clearing. He's just in the middle face. They actually step on him and just walking through. He's like, oh, and the like I think I stepped on something and he turned around it like I stepped on a face. I hate this island. Give me off the island. Freaking creepy, dude. This island has this is lit of Waltz experiments. Oh fate is this a person? The island a person lost? Right? Oh gosh, the island was a person. When you go watch it and go this island is a person, it makes a lot more sense. Yeah, I mean pretty much. Any if you you say, you can say loss. I was like, it makes a lot more sense if you just change it. Yeah, it makes makes a lot more sense if you just make some stuff up. So he hides. He hides. He's buried himself in the dirt and they're looking for him, and he figured he's crazy. They put trail cams out there because all the other's pretty smart. Yeah, and they actually put up fences so he had to jump a fence to get into like the park part of the island, and so like they they've up their security because everybody else was getting there, and the statute of limitations wasn't wasn't let him sue him, Like that's the only way we make money as a company is poor people. And so he he buries himself and he lays there in the dirt, and he says, I'm just gonna wait him out. So he waits there for hours, and they're still searching, They're yelling out trying to find him, and they're not going anywhere, and so he realizes, he's like, he's like, I'm not going to be able to outlast these people. He says, I'm so thirsty. He said he was literally laying there and he was washing water drip from the leaves, and he was sticking his tongue on and catching it so he could get some moisture because he hadn't drunk anything in two hours. And then let go and then he realized, oh my god, I'm rest and so he says, Okay, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna wait them out. They're they're here, they're locked in they know I'm not gone, and so I need to get away. And so he crawls his way through the brush, makes it back to shore, and he starts finding along the shoreline from people in the park who just littered for years, just a bunch of empty water bottles. And so he started taking all these water bottles and blowing him up and putting in his backpack to make a floatation device. And so he's just got a backpack and then ah, he's just sneaking on the detail. It didn't matter, it's he's blown them up, and he's got all these inflated water bottles in his backpack. And then he says, Okay, I've got a backpack full of inflated water bottles. But they're circling the island. Yeah, they don't see him. They don't see him there in the boats. Yeah. Yeah. And so he's not like it's not the water, so it's not like he's like on the beach yet. So he's like in the brush next to the water and just floating backpack. That's the idea is he sinks underneath and lets the backpack stay up, and it is a black backpack, and he thinks he can just kind of roll. They're like boating, and they just see a black backpack with hands on it. You think that's the guy. I don't know where he is. You think that's the guy. No, that can't be the guy. Those are just so Florida hands. We got about all. Yeah, we've got a lot of hands. Float around in this lake, eat out the gators. So so he takes the backpack and he gets in the water, and that's his plan. He says, I'm gonna hang out underneath it and swim across and just come up for air when I need it. And it doesn't work. It doesn't the flotation doesn't. It doesn't float, okay, And so he realizes he's just gonna have to swim, so he just starts swimming. Somehow, he manages to swim across, get back to the other shore, get into the neighborhood. He gets to the neighborhood and he grabs his phone. He calls his wife and she has to can pick him up. He's soaking wet, and she's like, why are you so wet? He's got a duffel back of cash, right, and he's like, just drive, don't ask questions. I'm soaking wet. You know. Well, he calls and she says hey. She says, the are here, and they said, if you don't come turn yourself in, they're gonna arrest me, which sounds illegal. La la la la la. Come confess. We're gonna take your wife. We're gonna go to jail. The cups are in the background of the call. She's like, they won't stop singing weird remixes of Disney songs, but they're like cop themed remixes. I honestly, I kind of want to go to jail at this point. I can't stand up. Heck yeah and so so yeah. So he's like, how does he get How do they know it was him? Uh? Yeah, I don't. Well, they saw him on trail cams, I guess, And so I guess the police were like, yes, and it's the footage, we'll find him. We know this guy. Yeah, I don't. I don't think they knew him. I think the police are just like, yes, and it's the footage, we'll find him. I think they like that. I think the police the police are like, yeah, we'll track him down, we'll find him, like a challenge. Yeah, And so they they tried tracked her down, were threatening to arrest his wife for his crimes, which does not seem legal. And then so he's like, he's well, because she's harboring harboring a fugitive at that point, like she would be impeding investigation because she could just say he's out there. Yeah, he's out there, that's him. Yeah. But I mean, at the end of the day, it's like, you can't arrest me because my spouse isn't back. You do. But if you say, hey, like because she knew he was going to commit a crime, maybe if she did crime, if she knew I don't know if she knew. But also it's like you're you're what, are you an accomplished of trespassing Yeah, to a misdemeanor treuspassing. Yeah. And so he's like, he's like, I'm not going to risk her. And so he goes home and he turns himself in and uh, he's got a great mugshot, just absolutely legendary much Oh my gosh, you make that face for the thumbnail. Good, we got it. And so he gets he gets charged with misdemeanor trespassing. Yeah. He also gets banned from Disney for forever. And he gets one hundred dollars fine, which is not terrible. Honestly, they did they let him shower before they took the mug shot. It looks like it they might have, yeah, because he would have went through there like you smell terrible. Yeah, and so he banned from Disney World. Everywhere in your body's covered in mud except for this one little weird spot. Can you explain what happened there? Well, no, he went through the lake. The lake would have washed it off. Okay, Yeah, so he did kind of technically in a sense. He's talking to this episode. You got rapids us geez. So it's not an hour, but we took a break in the middle. Let's take another one. So the island, the island's still there. They aren't gonna to get rid of that demology. We're so tired of people coming to this island. They dynamite it. No, the island is still like, the park is still on there. There's clearly there's no plans for Disney to ever do anything of it, but they've they're saying, hey, if you break into this island, we're going to be really mad at you, guys. Yea. And so they're pretty they're pretty striped about it, and now apparently they weren't in the early two thousands. Now they're more strict about it. So, but nobody's found the dinosaur. So I'm not saying this is not this is not financial advice, don't go to the park. But nobody's found the Yeah. So anyways, that was his big fiddle off. I guess oh, okay, hey, thanks for making us to the end of this episode. If you liked that one, I actually made a joke about Anthony Kertio in this episode. Anthony Kurtio is a person who made this very elaborate bank robbery scheme where he was going to escape to a stream behind the bank and float his way away with his millions of dollars, so much so that earned him the nickname dB tuber. So we did a whole episode on Anthony. You can go check that out. We've also got next week's episode available right now on Patreon, so if you want to go check that out. You can. Thank you so much for listening to things I learned last night. We'll see you next week.