These Forever Chemicals are Already Inside You! | PFAs

02-13-24

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you’re weird.

A man. What's up? Have you ever heard of P FAST? What have you ever heard fast? Parental fragments? Adult services? Yeah? No, yeah, okay, so p FAST you were pretty close. It doesn't have a lot to do with parents, and it actually stands for per and polyflorolical floor, floral kill floor polly floral substances. PER drives bad bad guys. You know me, a big bad bad guy, ID liver damage. It's cause a lot of ID s. That joke. Don't let her take your boy things I learned last night. Yeah, so anyway, we're at polyfloral alkyl substances. Sure have you heard of that? Nope? Oh I've got my degree in that. You might have heard of him from the colloquial name uh forever chemicals. Oh yeah, yeah. Is this why a bunch of boomers have lead poisoning? No? That was that was another episode of the lead. Actually that was that was the lead guy. Who was the lead guy. We did an episode on George. No, hold on, I'm scrolling Darles Russ. George Russ George, Oh yeah, you're no. Russ. George was the fishing guy. Is that not the same guy where he throws the iron and the rust into the thing and it brings all the Yeah, that was a different guy. Oh oh your yea stop stop, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't find it. It's it's golly. Yes, he was like, I know there's lead in I don't care. Then he ended up dying of that bed he made. Yeah, yeah, exactly made his giant bed. Alex. Do you remember who this was? What was his name? Wow? It were super involved in our content. I'm like scrolling back through our list of episodes and I'm like, it was not that long. It was last year. Yeah, dang, we've got some good episodes. That was a good one. I can picture his face and made the thumbnail. Yeah, I can't find him anyways. Yeah, so there's a guy. There's a guy who did this. He found out about the lead and he didn't care. This is similar. This is a guy who found out about forever pee fast and didn't care. Okay, so well, not just one guy. It was just the idea that like, when you drink out of a plastic bottle, there are chemicals from this plastic bottle in my body forever. Well that is true. That's not really this. This is a little bit more insidious. Okay. Yeah, is it that the chemicals from this will infiltrate my soul and then direct me to do things for the dark Lord? That's also true. But and that's more insidious than this. Okay, but it's not. That's that's a cult that prays over every every bottle of water, pure life. Yeah, yeah, it's anything but pure. The twelve Tribes, Yeah, hey, pray over this. They come together. It's weird. So not as insidious as that, but more insidious than whatever you said before. Sure, so this is so p fast is a man made chemical. Okay, we'll call it p fast because you saw me struggle with the normal name, the scientific name. And it's a chemical that we discovered in the early fifties. And it looks like this really all it is, Yeah, all it is is it's a bunch of carbine, carbine, carbon merged with fluorine. That's right. Fluoride is right, that's a carbon, fluorine, florine, fluorine, fluorine. It's fluorine, right, Alex, Thanks, it's fluoride. We've got enough soundbits we can make him say whenever we want. Really, I think sweet. So the carbon it's really any formation like this that has a bunch of carbon and fluorine molecules attached together, and then you can have any other combination of anything else in it and it's still a pe fast right. Okay. The interesting thing about this is because of this chemical makeup, because you have the carbon and the fluorine together, it's basically invincible. Nothing can neutralize it. Well, it's not invincible. It just takes a thousand years to die or more or a couple of thousand, you know. It's like it lasts forever essentially. That's why they call it forever chemicals. They don't die, right. And when we discovered this, we were like, oh, this is sweet cool. In the fifties, people were like, oh, we figure out how to turn all of our bodies into this? Well they said, they said, you know what, we could do so many cool things with this. One of the best ideas that they had early on is they said, if we cover our trees in this, then insects can't do anything to them. They can't they can't walk up there and they can't get in them. Like that's not real. Yeah, they said, spray it all over our trees and we don't have any any more insect problems. No, yes, it's one hundred said the thing because they were like, they were like, it'll stick to it forever, and the ants will try to crawl up it, and they'll be too slick. They can't crawl up it, and then they can't think about how it's going to kill the tree. Yeah, they didn't care. They were like, yeah, but the insects can't get on it, and so we solve the insect problem. It's a lot of you know, this was the middle. You got to understand the thinking in this era. This is this is solve one problem, doesn't matter what other conquests. Well, that is probably part of what. I read a whole book about trees. What I read a whole book about trees? Are I tell you about this? No? What are you saying? I with my eyes opened a physical book and my eyes looked at the book and there are words I've never heard, like carbon that I read yea, and my brain went, that's what that word means. You know what I think? I think people who read books aren't insane. People who read books. You know what? I drink a glass of milk with it every night. Milk warm milk milk and my tree book. Yeah anyway, No, I did read a book about trees. I thought the book it's called The Hidden Life of Trees. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. It's a great book. Why Okay? But for real though, there's actually it's pretty fascinating because it's just a guy who you know it like love trees. But no, this is real. Did you know that trees? So the insect problem? So do you know that trees? Uh? You know, specific species of trees all around each other. If there's an insect that it's on that tree, based on the insect saliva, the tree can tell what kind of insect it is, and then it will release a chemical into the air that would draw the predator of that insect to the tree to get the insect. That's the craziest thing I've heard in my mind. It will also release a chemical in the air to alert the other trees in the area. Yeah, and so when that insect goes to the other trees, they've already been alerted and they've the taste of their leaves, so that when the insect bites it, it doesn't like it. That is insane. This is real science. Shut up, bro, you want to read a book about it? Isn't that fascinating? That is pretty cool? And the way that they communicate through their root systems is bonkers. They use the fun guy to communicate with each other. Yeah, and they use resources. So I've heard of this, right, So like a stump that's like a tree that has fallen or been chopped down, the stump will still survive because trees share their resources with the safe pieces around them. Yeah, I have heard that especially. Yeah, I've heard that they that through that same process, through the root system, they will specifically share their resources with their quote unquote young like the trees that came from their seed things, so that to help them reach maturity, right, and they will actively cut off resources to yeah, to make different species so that they are and so like when a when a tree falls and there's now a hole in the canopy of that forest, all the other young trees are just there in trying to get there. Yeah. Yeah, And so it's it's truly fascinating. That is pretty insane. It's kind of surprising though that about this. I know this is crazy what I'm about to say, but it's kind of crazy where we we know this about trees and we haven't figured out how to do that, like with our economy, like I would think with people or what no no, no, no, no, no, no, how to figure out Oh hey, I've got so let's take our last episode for example, Sure Brazil says, oh, France is coming and they're going to take our lobsters, so we need to change the flavor of our lobsters. But yeah, like for real though, like like that seems like there would be some sort of defense systems that business would figure out to be like, oh, our competition's coming. Yeah, we're just gonna It's called greed. Dude, Why do you think people go to war? Yeah, but it's not war because this is better than war. Whatever the trees are doing, they're they're past war. Yeah. But also the rate that they grow and how long it takes those electrical signals to travel through the root system is forever. Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's fair. It takes a long time. So what I appreciated about the book was he talks a lot about the speed of trees and and how nature will I mean, like a tree will die, you know, in effect, like damage will happen to its bark. That will eventually kill that tree. Like we put this forever stuff on the tree, the tree will still survive for another one hundred years, but without it, it could have lived eight hundred years. Oh yeah, yeah, and so but they live slow, they die slow, and oh, it's just a fact. That's a that's a that's a good analogy for our life. You live fast, you die fast, you live slow, you die slow the trees. If you live slow, you'll you'll die over a three year period due to some type of cancer. Be like the trees. Be not like frost, be like the cheese. But for really, it was a really good book anyway. I thought that was a really interesting fact that they changed the flavor of their that's pretty crazy to ward off predators. That blows my mind. Okay, so yeah, the p fast they put it, they slattered it over the trees because they said, apparently, they said, the trees aren't doing a good job keeping the insects away themselves. We need to help out. They're releasing their own chemicals. We've got better chemicals. And so they rubbed their rub their their chemicals all over the tree and kept the ants away from their trees. And free tree Zone and then they said, oh, hey, this can do a lot of stuff, and so then they started making a lot of different products. Three Am was the company that invented p fasts originally, which makes a lot of sense. Yeah, you might have heard of them. They're one of the big bad guys. I call them. Okay, they're one of the big bad bad guys of the chemical world. Big bad bad guys. You know, me a big bad bad guy. They invented bef p fasts and they call their friends DuPont and they said DuPont. I heard of DuPont. Yeah, they said, hey, DuPont, you're we're the big bad bad guys of chemicals and you're the big bag bad guys of chemicals too. We're both big bad bad guys of chemicals. And they said, we got to brand a new chemical that we think you guys would think is pretty cool. And they said, all right, tell me about it. They said it's called p fast. They're like, you got have to tell us a lot more than that, and they said, basically, you can lad this up on anything, spray the trees, and it makes it magic. And they're like, oh cool anything, And so DuPont said, sell some of that, and we're gonna start putting on all sorts of stuff. And so so three Am started manufacturing a ridiculous amount of p fasts and selling off vats to DuPont, and DuPont was like, what can we put p fast on today? And so just like freaking using it like vacaline baby, lathering it up and send it to the market. What were they doing? So they here, I have a a hefty little diagram we could take a look at. This shows everything that DuPont and a lot of other companies started a lot of other companies got involved. Oh yeah, I knew there was there was forever chemicals in our nonstick cookwaar mm hmm. Yeah, so I didn't know there was forever chemicals in our microwave popcorn bags. So here's what they did. They figured out, oh, hey, this stuff makes it to wear one. It makes water resistance. Uh so water resistant clothing like shoes that you do you want to shoes, styrofoam, pretty much anything that can resist water or stains is probably a p fast to start to make a lot of clothing with it. You can fight fires with it. Because the can't handle it. They can't. Nothing can surpply. The fire ads just can't hold on the fire to the fire. And everybody knows a fire is just a bunch of fire ants jump everyone that everyone knows, watch out. There's too many fire ants about to get a fire. And so they they put it in fire fighting. And they also flame retardet materials, So any flamortaric clothes, flame retardant, furniture, flame retardant paints have uh pa fasten it uh nonstick cookware, non stick anything anything that doesn't stick huh p fast. Also they started using in things that do stick, like tape. But they but here, So here's what's clever about it. Okay, they put it on the not sticky side, so you can't stick, but you can kind of still stick. Okay. And here's what's an interesting thing. They realize grease doesn't stick to it. So microwave popcorn bags, yep, they don't. Nothing sticks to your microwave popcorn bags. Pizza boxes took gold boxes. Food doesn't stick to that. Grease doesn't stick to that because it's got pea fast on food. Def Like, pizza boxes are not using this stuff anymore because cheese deaf for the least sticks to it. Photographs. Uh, okay, I'm to be honest with you, I haven't touched I haven't touched a developed film in a while, so I don't really remember what that's like. A fast. I was gonna say, what you got in there? Pesticides obviously, animals don't like it. Cosmetic paint. There's a lot of a lot of pea fasts and a lot of different things. And it took the world by storm because it does it's cheaper to make things last longer. Well, it doesn't make things last longer, but also makes life a lot easier. Like non stick pants so much better than stick pants, Like stick pants are the worst. There's an ad from the time Uh where it's a little there's a little girl and she she has her nonstick pants and she said, I used to be a slave to my sticky pants, scrubbing them all day. But she's like, but thanks to my new DuPont non stick pants, I just and the food comes off, and she like dumps all the food off of her pants, and she's like, this has seeing me so much time. And it's a literal child. She's like seven years old talking about how much then stick pants how much time they saved her. It's the most scene marketing given I've ever seen, because it's a child trying to tell everyone how much time the scene. Hey, thanks again for watching this episode. If you're enjoying it, and you're enjoying Tillan you've been around for a little bit, I want to invite you to be a part of our patreon. We have a patreon that has early access to all of our episodes, add free content both audio and video. We have a discord with our host and producers. That's a ton of fun getting to hang out with all of our patrons in there. We also do once a month now we do these live streams with our patrons. We hang out, we get to know each other, we eat pizza. It's a blast, along with a bunch of other benefits like uh merch discounts, message on your birthday, like fun stuff. It's definitely worth it. We're having a blast with our patrons. But if that doesn't sound like something for you, they get that heck out of here. Just kidding, No, we love you. Thanks for checking out Tilling Podcasts. How do they how do they get it? Though? I realized I forgot to put a CTA in mind. Oh dad, you're doing Yeah, they can text tillan to six six eight sixty six. Thanks Jared. Well, I mean, you know, you know, the hard life of a seven year old in the kitchen. It's tough. And then and then you think, you think stained resistance, water resistant, like coats that don't get wet, shoes that don't get wet. It's an objectively better life except for the consequences of it. Because here's the thing about p fast. It ruins your life. There are so many health effects, negative health effects that come out of p fast. As you might guess, there's a lot of care answers that p fest sure causes. But on top of that, but it's so ubiquitous that I mean, like this has p fast in it. This, This might have pe fast, I don't know. Spot definitely does this. Yeah, probably this this, This does have pieces for sure, that's fast. I've spilled a lot of water on this. I can tell you this is pee fast for sure. But where we say, so everyone, where we're supposed to do. You can't live in fear. Well, let's have a conversation about it. What are you doing? You're looking at our fast, right Yeah, so the I is showing you this causes a lot of cancers. This causes a lot of increased This causes increased cholesterol, liver damage. I be about liver damage. This can cause a lot of IBS. You know that joke? Oh I also know about that. Did you know this is true? That you can get a little at at disney World, Disneyland, what whatever, Disney theme parks. You can go to their customer service and you can say I have IB and you can probably get how confident you are about this? And you're like probably, I mean I know a couple of people who have done it, do it regularly. Yeah, you can get like their fast pass because you're like, I can't stand in lines. Oh I can't wait this long. I thought you were gonna say there's like a private bathroom for ibs. P No, Like they'll give you like the fast pass thing for like the for because you can't stand in line, reliable You're like, I can't stand I can't stay in line that long? That is interesting. Can I get the fast pass stuff because I have a medical condition? Do they verify that anyway? Do you have the carrying my BS card? I mean I guess I have IV you is written, it is prescription. That's what I'm saying. My doctor says, I don't have to wait in line. That is I mean, that's kind of what I'm saying. And that's being somewhere else where. There's my chiropractice says, I can be out right now. Like imagine, just imagine being somewhere else where. There's lines, like you're trying to get into a sporting event right at the grocery store. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know I have more than tens, but I need to go and have to be in the front. Here's here's a note from my doctor that says I have to be in the front of the line. What do you do? Do you say? Okay, I am saying there is such a growing number of those people that eventually that line is longer than just the regular line. You might be right, you might be right, but here's the you know what you said a second ago is exactly right. A growing number of people. Fast is so ubiquitous is everywhere in the world that it's almost inescapable. In fact, there was during the height of the DuPont well, yes, the height of uh three m and DuPont, using p fast on everything they were there was, there was a study that three M did. So three M started trying to be the good guys, right, and they started researching. They do that until they realized how much profit they're going to lose when they're the good guys, and they go, maybe we are the big, bad, bad guys. I think, I think what happens is they do that so they could cover their tracks, and because then they have they have separate documents. They have documents that are like this is really bad, but they also pay scientists separate documents. Coca Cola paid scientists to be like this, this is good for you. Yeah, your doctors didn't say it was good for you. They said it wasn't bad for it. They did they convinced the doctors to prescribe it. They didn't convince the doctors anything. They paid the doctors enough. That's not convincing. That's paying them all. Think well, I think I think there's an inflection point. You pay a few and then everybody else is like, oh, that must be good for you if they're prescribing it, and then it catches and then the culture at large believes it's okay. Because describing how propaganda works. Yes, yeah, okay, yeah, but so they convinced the majority of doctors. They paid a handful of doctors, and that by default convinced the majority. Yeah. Anyways, so three ms started doing some research. They started saying, okay, we're we're making a lot of this p fasts and let's be honest, it's pretty sketchy. We know it's sketchy. We should look into this a little bit and figure out how sketchy this stuff really is. So three AM starts doing some research and threem says, okay, let's get a group of our workers in our factory that are manufacturing p fasts and be like, hey, we're gonna take some of your blood, your toes and your fingers. They said, we're gonna take some of your blood. And they said, this is a weird thing for my employer to be doing right now. Yeah, I also to say it that way too. Have Uh hi, hey it's me. I know we don't know each other. I'm Ellie from HR here with Dom and he's gonna run through what's going to happen today. So you receive the package in the mail today, If you could just open that up real quick. You'll notice that there is a syringe and a bag and some tubing. All you need to do is I actually can't do this bit. I'm not joking because I'm going to pass out as soon as you said so I can't do that bit, and we have to move on. I'm sorry. I thought all the things where Dom was just gonna be like, we're going to take your blood, but then you started talking about the process of taking the blood and I can't do that. I'm sorry. Anyway, let's talk about something else. I'm a big, bad, scaredy boy. So yeah, they went around don't take your blood. They went around the company and they took blood samples from a bunch of their employees to measure. Is that legals what I'm saying, can your employer just come to you one day? I mean, this is the fifties. Is this voluntary or are they like, hey, we gotta take your blood. They walked in and they were like, oh, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying, like, you know they're doing it the proper way. They send you to a person who does it right. I can't answer that question. This is if you is it legal for your employer to say, hey, we require some blood work. I'm sure that's not It might be actually because they drug test you. They can't drug test you. Yeah, and so I'm work so well if if they think if they they might have to have product successfully not gotten my blood drawn since twenty fifteen, that's pretty impressive, employer. It's because I cry and scream a lot in their doctor's office when they go hey, and I go, and then I rampage. I break a lot of stuff in the office. They had to put me in the kids room. This is actually real. When I go get my blood drawn, you know, they had to put me in the kids room. So I'm sitting there like the monkeys and giraffes and elephants and stuff are painted on the wall. This is I'm not making this up. I'm like, in the kids room. Why did they put you there? Because I don't know because I said, I said, hey, I'm going they okay, put this kid in the kid room. I'm serious. When they come and take my blood, I literally look them in the face and I say I'm going to pass out and they go oh sure, and I go no, no, no, no, I'm telling you for my safety. Yeah, and also mostly yours because I'm going to typically a lot smaller than I am, And I go, I need to be doing this laying down and they go okay, and then I go good night. Every time. Jeez, that's well, what happened to you? Did somebody take a bunch of blood? I don't know. One time I was with an X and her mom and they had to she had to get blood drawn for something or walking out to the parking lot. I wasn't in the room when the other blood. They were talking about it. Yeah, and as they're talking about it, I passed out in the parking lot face. I chipped this tooth back here. It is sawed down because I faced down. I've never even heard that story on the asphalt. And you know what she did was instead of helping me or getting down and making sure I was fine, she jumped in the car and started praying in tongues. I woke up to her being like, you know, I'm not joking. I think I know that hilarious, Yeah you do. That's incredible. So it's the fifties and it's okay for your employer to just walk in and be like, we need some of your blood and so they took before they made that illegal, they took They took a bunch of the employe's blood, taken it and they started testing it to see you can either give it to us, we'll take it, take it. Uh. So they started testing a bunch of the employees blood to see how much Pefast was in their blood. Quite a bit, and they like, okay, we now have a good sample to see how much p fat is in the blood of people who are working with Fast regularly. And they said, now we need to go get a control group to test this. Okay, And so they went outside into the city and they tested it, and they said, into the city on the street, excuse me your blood. I think vampires would go a lot further if they were just polite about it. You're just up just kind of people. Don't come up and be like, hey man, hard times need some blood. Just come up and tell me ask and I would like to they make it up further, you know, yeh, some guy on the trade is asking me for my blood. Well did you did you give him? He sounds like he nicely, I don't know what you want from me. Pretty rude of you not to at this point give them some blood blood. So they went across the community and lo and behold, the local community the amount of p fasts in their blood matched to their employees. And they said, that's peculiar. So they widened the circle a little bit, and the same thing. And they widened the circle a little more, and it was the same thing. Eventually, they were pulling from the entire country and it was the same thing. So they started going global, different continents, and it was the same content of pe fast in the blood. And they concluded that they could not find a control group because it had proliferated so much across the globe that we all had that we all have major concentrations of pea fast in the blood. So they started studying. They were like, sometimes our episodes just give me a lot of hope for the future. So they started studying. Okay, well what does what's a safe amount of pea fast in the blood? Because there was like some variants, like, right, there's some people u there were some people who had like seventy parts per jillion. There were some people who had like one part per billion, you know, So it's like different amounts, sure, some much more, some significant, but everybody had some so they started studying how much they thought was an okay amount, and in the early sixties they concluded that one part per billion was a safe amount. I want to pass one part per billion. You've got too much? Which one part per billion not pretty small, not much. It was compared recently, I heard in a documentary is compared to a single drop of water in an Olympic sized swimming pool was one part per billion. So you would be over the limit if you just took a drop of p fasts okay. And so then they called it their friends at DuPont and they said, hey, DuPont, guys, quick question this p fast. What have you guys been doing with like your excess or your left dovers like jump in the water supply That's exactly what they said, Like, oh we're just dumping in the river. Oh my gosh, dude. And they said you should do that. Stop. Yeah, They're like, you should stop doing that for sure, at all costs, do not dump that in the river. And DuPont's like, cool, bro, And they just kept doing it. Do you know what they told on the phone? I don't remember. I should have taken notes on that phone, to be honest with you and my last darby I took said put I don't know a thing. I gotta tell you what I did twenty seconds ago. I can't tell you how this conversation. There's no blood in my body. No blood right now. Tod for hr is not licensed to take way too much blood out of all I think they said, put more in the river. He said dump all your pea fast in the river. And I said, okay, I hit the emergency river. It checked button. It's like it's like this next to the phone, right, So he goes, okay, we will not Oh comment. That was a poor place to talk the phone. Should not have put the phone next to the pee fast. But has diet cocpond invented yet? I needed? I need something to take the coke. I am so anxious about the number of beef fast. A cigarette, A cigarette you can still do tho and a glass of milk. A cigarette and a glass of milk. Stat nothing pairs with a good cigar. We should ask for a glass of milk. Jack and milk. Get a jack of milk. I want one part per billion jack. It's so much or like an Olympic pool. Olympic pool of milk Speaking of Olympic pool Jack, I looked up today how they're going to lay out the twenty twenty eight Olympics Angelis. Yeah, because I'm going to live there. How's that going to be? Uh? Do you know where the pool is going to be? Your neighborhood? Pools? Is my house? They're gonna left at my house put the pool there. No, it's uh, it's the USC Baseball stadium. They're going to put a pool in the in the base and turn it into a Hey that's clever. Cool. It's always interesting to me with these Olympic villages because some places like they just like build all this stuff that's never going to get used again. Oh yeah, but like LA, we don't got room to do that in LA. So they're just gonna have to use them and stuff. Yeah, stify the baseball stadium to be a pool, that's pretty wild. Speaking of pools, Brie and I used the pickleball courts here the other day yesterday. Oh yeah here, Yeah, that's right. Yeah, what'd you think? It was pretty fun? Uh? She destroyed me zero to four. Uh. Every game just absolutely obliterated me. So I'm really proud of you for admitting that every time you tell stories on this podcast, you could just lie. That's right. I destroyed her four to zero, not even close, and it was great. And what was frustrating about it is she so she got a new gym membership yesterday and she's like starting on this new fitness journey, journey I've been online for about a year. She is a better athlete than me, true, always has been, always will be. But I felt like yesterday we haven't played a game together in a while, like a physically, you felt like all the training we've done, I felt like I felt like I'm in better shape than her right now. I'm definitely in better shape than her right now. But she's a better but she's a better, but she's a better, she's a better athlete. Alex is in there like buddy, she's a better athlete than me. And so on the way there, she's like, who do you think's gonna win this? I was like, oh, I'm gonna win this. And we got there and she obliterated me. And I haven't ran as hard on the treadmill all year than I did the treadmill. The treadmill, how do you say it? Treadmill? Treadmill? I I will I look like I was training for the Olympics today. I have such I have just a renewed fervor, and it's all for not. I'm never gonna be able to beat her. She's better than me at anything, athletics stuff. But man ah, anyways, that destroyed her ford to zero. Uh So, yeah, you're right, you're right, and she's like to cut out all this stuff where I told the truth. I to play and pick a ball. Yeah you've played her before, Yeah, I helped my own. Yeah, she's pretty good. She's athletic. She's she is very athletic, and she she is like because she was a she was like a very serious athlete grown up, and she like takes sports very seriously, especially when she plays against dudes, because she like has this thing where she's like, I got to put you in your place. Sure, so she just like she does not hold back and she will embarrass you. She embarrassed me. It is me a lot. There's never tryout. Well, she a lot of her friends play for the Current's what I'm saying. She's kind of in Yeah, I don't know she can go try out anyways. Uh So you're in good enough shape to play for the for professional soccer. No, no, okay, give me three years of training. I hate you three years. Three years, I think three years. Yeah, give me three years, Give me a trainer, give me a program. And like if I if I can commit myself, like if I'm saying like that's all I'm doing, I could get there in three years. And I think that of anybody. I think you give anybody a trainer, you get you clear their schedule, they don't have to do anything else. Three years to train, I think anybody could get there. Cool, unless you're like thirty five plus. That's tough. That changes, yeah, tough anyway. Drugs what you said, I said you would need performance enhancing Yeah. Yeah at thirty five plus, definitely so so aking you have tho. I considered even thinking about steroids lightly. Are we gonna do it? Are we gonna do steroids? No? So, don't do steroids. Don't do steroids? Uh what are we talking? Okay, So, so there's a community in Michigan called Oakdale, community of Michigan called Oakdale, Minnesota. Moron idiot, Hey, thanks for checking out with this episode. If you're enjoying this, let me recommend Timothy Dexter It's one of my favorite episodes, not just because the contents great, but because it was our live episode. We shot that in front of a live audience, just like Doctor Phil. It was awesome. You won't believe anyways, thanks for me here, all right. What happens in Oakdale? Oatdale has a lake there called Lake Elmo, Okay, and Lake Elmo is where three M and DuPont had been dumping a lot of their p fasts p fest. I don't know if I mentioned this. This is where teflon comes from. Yeah, yeah, as a p fast we mentioned then say teflon. Okay, we're gonna use the word teflon, but that's that's what it is. They've been dumping all their p fasts in there, and the majority of the community's got cancer. And everyone always thought it was weird that the majority of the people there have cancer. They thought it was like something genetic or something like that. But it was the lake and it was because they got their drinking water from the lake because the pfast is that were getting dumped into the lake. And the local high school had a bunch of kids that we're getting cancer and kids you have parents who got cancer, and so it was like a like an epademic. It was like a whole thing. It really was. Yeah, And there was one specific child who she was became like a person who like campaigned against the use of p fats and she ended up passing away, but in her honor, like a community came together and a non profit organization came together that was able to actually outlaw the main p fast that was used in these original DuPont chemicals and the three M chemicals. This is early two thousands. These were pfa o's and pfos, so they were two types of p fasts. Cis OK, there are two specific kinds. And what was interesting is the way that the e p A is set up is the e p A was able to outlaw these two specific types of p fasts, but they weren't able to outlaw p fasts as a whole. Three AM and DuPont did is they created new p fasts. So they they created what's called gen X, and that is the gen x you're thinking of. They're not people chemicals. Yeah, No, they're not the people. They're not the generation. They are a new chemical that they're using to do exactly what they were doing before with p facs. And so they're still in all of these products, but they're not the pfoas and the pfas that got dumped in that lake that got dumped in the lake and got outlawed. But it's the same thing. And so they've basically been able to outlaws something that just made a new thing. It's like a hydra. You kill one, two new heads pop up, and because the way the law is set up, there's no way to just outlaw it as a whole. So it's become a thing where basically they have to change the law that allows the EPA to just cut it all off, but that you don't have that law right now. Sure, so anything that you own that is water resistant or stain resistant, or non stick or grease resistant anything like that probably still has p fast in it, but it's just not the original p faest and it's just the contact with it that gives us cancer. Like I don't have to eat my jacket, Okay. So that's that's what's interesting. You can from touch end up getting some p fasts in your system. What is interesting is a lot of the non stick and the water resistant stuff is there's a like formula that's used to stick that to you, and you're not exposing any of that into the air by just wearing that, it's not it's not a danger to you by wearing that. You'd have to turn it into like a liquid basically or a gas for that to be a problem to you. The stuff that's used in your food, though, like in food containers, like your popcorn in the microwave, that is something that's actually a concern. But more than anything, the biggest concern is the byproducts that are ending up in waterways or even ending up anywhere else. Because what happens is this somehow and through some form or another, ends up in a waterway or ends up in the water cycle and evaporating and being in the rain and so. And it's become such a widespread thing that it literally does not matter where you are on earth today, you're going to end up with some of this coming in contact with you and ending up in your blood. It's an unavoidable thing. The ulnerly way in the tree book, this is real how how rain gets further inland. Yeah uh, and how trees can change the atmosphere around them, so like you know how it's very cloudy and rainy all the time, with the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, okay, it's because those pine trees release a chemical into the air that is a dense molecule that collects water. And so that molecule, the water molecule stick to it, which makes the clouds thick, and then they condense and more rain. Interesting and so that can happen further inland. So then those those trees do that. These trees here have that like a different molecule releasings that wind. That wind blows those clouds over still captures here. That's insane. So they're like, so if you cut all those trees down the Pacific Northwest, it probably wouldn't be right. It rain as much. That is bonkers? Is that how they're doing the Heart program? What the Heart program? I thought of doing an episode on this before. I don't know what the Heart program is. That's what they're like changing the weather. The government's changing the weather. The government's like causing her. No, they're not, Oh my gosh, it's the Heart Program. I try to share fun facts. The thing you saying that means it's possible. Yeah, So anyway, maybe the trees are trying to kill us with p fast. So here's what's interesting. Everybody's got in their blood is unavoidable. If you drink water, you're probably drinking a little bit of p fast every time you drink some water. And the EPA has actually so three Am said, we think it's one part per billion is the safe limit if you're above one three parts. Well, what the EPA said is they rolled that back and they said, oh, it's actually seventy parts per trillion, and so it's basically a trillionth of what that they head the safe amount to have in your system. And so basically any amount if he's like, basically any amount and your system is a dangerous amount to have in your system. We all have a little bit of our system. Most people have about a thousand parts per billion. What, Yeah, you're like way over, way over the limit. I'm blowing a point eight on right now. Yeah, you're way over point zero eight. It's point zero. Yeah, we're poing a point eight geez or maybe it's point eight. I don't know. It's point zero point zero, Alex, point zero, thanks, Alex. Alex has not answered any of my questions. Every time I said, Alex would just be like, I don't care, Alex, Ah, right, so the only thing that they think iver observed. Huh do you think he's okay in there? I don't know, he's dead there. He dubbed a bunch of pea fasts in that closet before this. Yeah, he's a lobster. He's got a lobster hands, a lobster running our switchboard. It's great. So, the only way we've ever ever observed, the only possible way we've ever observed of lowering the p fast count in our blood, there's one way we've observed prayer really close pregnancy. Uh, could you just on that? That's exactly what you're just the only thing we've ever observed that lowers the p fast count in your blood is having a child, giving it to the and mothers. My gosh, they actually transfer it through breastfeeding as well. And so the child increases their p fast count and the mother decreases their p fast count. And what's interesting is that for her in that p fast and the response of what happens in the child to this the p fast is they have a lower weight at birth, they have child OBCD, there's increased risk of a miscarriage, and then they actually have what they've discovered as a lot of these children that have a higher p fast account they have early onset puberty, which is pretty crazy. Okay, that was how early? I don't know anything like speaking of early on set puberty when I was in middle school. Kidding No. We did an episode a while ago, a long time, several years ago at this point was twenty it was, it might have been pre twenty twenty. It was an early early episode. I remember as being You're in your room, but that was not that we moved there in twenty nineteen. Guest room the guess from in twenty twenty. Sure, yep, because my roommate moved out in February twenty twenty, and I had like a bunch of shows booked, and I was like, this is gonna be great. I finally live on my own. I just doubled my rent, which is, you know, it's now six hundred dollars more each month. But I got a lot of shows booked. It's going to be a good year. And then not so anyway, it was twenty twenty, okay, so four years ago, four years ago. Yeah, And we did an episode about Ittalia Grace Barnett, who there was a and this was before there was no documentary about her. There wasn't no it was she had been on Doctor Phil at that point, right, Yes, there was a lot of There was some controversy over this couple adopted a Ukrainian daughter who is a dwarf and got a lot of medical conditions and all this stuff, and they became convinced that she was not in fact a seven year old girl, but she was a twenty two year old woman pretending to be a little girl. And we did a whole episode about this, and you know, told the whole story, and we talked about the theories and whatever. Right, there is all the whole story as it was as it was at the time. Yeah, that we knew at the time. Okay, so there's an HBO documentary about this. You watched season one? I watched one. Yeah, okay, so season one sets up that same stuff. They're showing a bunch of footage and there's a lot of time in this documentary that you're like, is she a twenty two year old? That's quite crazy? And that was kind of the feeling before. It was like it was like you didn't know when we when we did it, you didn't know who was telling the truth. Even in season one, you didn't know, you know, and you're like, this is was kind of like, this is crazy. I'm telling you. We just finished season two. This week season two, she is interviewed, and I am telling you that when you see adult Metallia speaking on camera, you realize immediately that that was a little girl the whole time. The whole time. So if you go back to listen to that episode, we speculate, uh, and I want you to know, we now know, I know now we were super wrong. I don't know she is definitely because I mean it's like, when you see her now, you go, that's an adult. Yeah, And then when you see the videos of her as a kid, you go, that's her as a child. But the first season, you know, it is kind of not hard to tell. But I mean, like if you don't see her as an adult and you only see this footage and you go, maybe that is an adult because they put her next to other kids and stuff. She did look a little older, yeah, and no, but when you see her now you go. There was a lot of peculiar things in the story, right, But I think one of the most interesting parts about the story from the beginning is that the parents seem to be trying to set up this storyline, this as an adult. So that's what they're talking about here, is that they realized in this new season they talk about their which the first season documentary is insane, that her adopted father can get out of the trial because in the jury they weren't allowed to. They re aged her. They legally reate her to be twenty two years old, which is nuts that you can do that. And that's the stuff that I'm like, oh crap, they did that to a nine year old girl. That nine year old was living by herself in an apartment. Yeah. And so anyway, when you see her as an adult, you immediately throw out the whole story because before you could be like, I don't know, there's a lot of questions. You know, when as she grows up, you go, oh, you're not done growing Yeah. Also, two, they talked to her childhood dentist who pulls up the X rays and shows this is clearly a child's mouth, you know, all these adult teeth underneath it, and the dentist didn't know that they had reaged her. Oh my god. Wild stuff. So anyway, it's wild that they had like this trial and everything, and they didn't bring any of the experts in that were like, a ye, your pediatrician or her dentists, because they somehow got it thrown out, the reaging thing because legally, even now, she is still legally thirty three years old. That's crazy. So when you go back to real listening to that episode, it's worth listening to the episode and go watch the documentary to get the full story. But then when you watch the new season of the documentary and you see, oh, this was just child abuse. So clearly what happened was a couple adopted a special needs child. They realized that the special needs child is going to need a lot of effort for her special needs, and they were legally responsible for her until she turned twenty one. Yeah, so they reaged her to twenty two so they wouldn't be responsible for anymore. Yeah, it's very sad. Yeah, that's crazy, and they're just getting away with it so far. That's wild. It's crazy. So anyway, I felt like we needed to do a quick update. Yeah, I'm glad you did that. I haven't watched the documentary yet, so when you watch it, tell episode one, you'll watch it and you go bad. Twenty two year old girl right there. Yikes, yikes. And that's kind of the moral of the story of the Pfast thing too. If you got enough money, or if you really just try hard enough, you can make the law do whatever you want the law to do. That's what three am and do for forever. And they're still doing it. They're still dumping p foss into our planet, and we're all getting infected with a ridiculous amount of it, and it causes cancer, and it breaks people's bodies down in a ridiculous amount of way and makes them lose to their spouses and pickleball. It's got a lot of side of That side effect is one that a lot of people don't recognize. It's pretty rampant, full of peace. Yeah. So if you're wondering what can I do about it, the answer is nothing. You really can't. This isn't one of those shiny fun episodes where it's like just recycle more. Yeah, No, there's really It's not on us. It's on the corporations that rule us. It's on our rulers. And then if you just it's in everything, it's in your We suffer together, join our discord and whine about it. Anyways, the only way to stop them is to fiddle them on. Hey, thanks for making it to the end of this video. If you like this and you want more episodes, there's more somewhere around here, and also clips from the show. But make sure you subscribe. Please do that. That really helps us. It makes us feel good. We look at the number and we go, oh my gosh, there's more people who like us. And it also just make sure that you don't miss episodes in the future because we put these out every single week and there's so many in the past, so many old episodes you can go watch. You know, there's an entire season of episodes that we didn't have a video for, so you can go listen to those if you'd like to as well. Thanks for being here. We'll see you again next week. On Things I Learned last Night, that's this podcast, right, that's this one. Yeah, that's the one Things last night. That's the one. All right, you're free to go. Great.


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The International Battle for Crustacean Supremacy | The Lobster War

02-06-24

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you’re werid.

I'll say it again. No, nothing right worse than consensual Fox News or Kleb anyways. Have you ever heard non consensual k love? Have I heard of what the lobster war? No? But I wanted to be Okay, here's the thing about doing social media brand deals. Okay, when does this episode come out? This will come out? Hold on, let me check our reference. February sixth, perfect, So no, super Bowl Sunday's the next Yeah, super Bowlunday's coming up this week. Yeah. Well, I hope this hoodie makes sense by then. It won't. It won't. I mean, if you listen to a conspiracy theory, then it doesn't. Have you seen that? No? Let me tell my here. It's just like, so, brands come to me and they go, Jane, we like your creative, funny videos. Will you make one for us? And I go yeah, and they oh, great, give us some ideas, and I give them top tier best idea you know exactly what I'm talking about. I talk to your best ideas and they all go, what about something boring? What about something totally different? And I actually sucks Yeah, and I go okay, and I make it and they go, can we make it a little worse go okay, and then and then they look at me when it gets twelve likes and I'm like, I'm telling you my idea. So, for example, I did one for a waffle company and I don't know, I'm not going to name which one, you know, to protect their ego. And uh so I said, so, I said, I said, guys, it was March. And I was like, what if we did a get Ready with me as a person with lobster hands for Saint Patrick's Day, the one day a year where I get to pinch people? And that's the funniest idea I've had. And they went, yeah, garbage. Oh man, So yeah, your idea was better. You had a couple other better ideas. I've had a lot of pretty good I like the toaster colony. Yeah, yeah, I did want a civilization that lives inside of a toaster. And then every day the waffle gets lowered down. But to them it's the sun, and so it comes down and they go, and then it pops up and leaves and they go and they do all their rituals to get to the water. Yeah, and they're trying to get the thing to come back, and every morning it comes back. And they go, ah, they think that they're doing. It's a lot like the story of humanity and uh now the illusion of control. There was so much deeper meaning to it. And then Ego was like, I mean sorry, Ego was like, it would sell waffles. We don't want to get into the philossal philosophy full waffle coal conversation philosophical anyway. Lobster war, Yeah, well, I gotta tell you that's conspiracy theory because now we're talking about the Super Bowl. Is lobster war like storage wars where instead of opening a storage container and people go oh yeah, yeah, seven hundred many bucks, it's just the fish tank and Red Lobster and they unveil it. You can see you can kind of see how many lobsters are in it. They cover it back up and then you bid. You have to bid for them. Yeah, but it's it's it's a one once in a year festival at Red Lobster. You have to eat as many lobsters as you pie. But you don't know because you, like you said, you don't know how many is in there. It's a split second you bid. Oh that's interesting. You don't know how many lobsters are in there. You just got to decide based on the two seconds that you've seen the case. Yeah, and you bid, you bid if you're right, and you go. If you can eat it, you get all the money that you bid. If you can't, you have to let the remaining ones loose on your body. So they're cooking, they take they take those little rubber bands off and they just let them go to town on you, like like it's Saint Patrick's Day. You see how it works. You see how it's the same songs rolling right nowame songs going right now. Garments trying to take the milk away. And that's the whole day. Oh you drink milk, don't you. Nothing has the same texture as that sweet milk. And that's the thing. That's the thing. The waters contaminating. They're contaminating the water with the flooride, lobsters and milk. Think about it. Things I learned last night looking Sat Patrick's Day, prepared to get pinched the lobster's revenge. This is such a good idea. We've got to pinch it to them, all right, We got to pinch for you mean pitch. Anyways, let me tell you about the super Bowl. Okay, So we'll see if this is legit when this comes out. So there's the theory going around right now, which by now most of our listeners have probably heard of it. You haven't, but by the time you're listening to this back you have because I'm now well, I mean, is it that the fix is in for the Chiefs to win? No? Okay, So there's the idea that it's the that it's all scripted. Right. There's allegedly proof because the last two years the Super Bowl logo has been as followed. So the color scheme shows you the two teams that are in it, and the one on the bottom is the winner. And so two years ago you had the Bengals and the Rams. The Rams won it. Is this based off of two Super Bowl logos? Yeah, that's stupid. You had the Eagles. Guys, what you're doing is it gets better, hold on it gets. The last year you had the Eagles on the Chiefs, the Chiefs on the bottom. The Chiefs won it. This year there's the forty nine Ers and the Ravens, and honestly their kind of favorites to be in the Super Bowl this year. They look like they both got the first round buying playoffs, and we haven't seen any playoff at the point of us recording this. It could be the Chiefs and Ravens, though it could be some people have mentioned No, no, I can't say the Chiefs. They could be them in the championship, but it could be the Chiefs and you're just trying to find away could eat the Chiefs. You know what sucks though? What losing the Super Bowl is definitely worse than just not making it to the super Bowl. Because the year that we didn't make it, that the Bengals beat us and they went, yeah, that was fine. I just didn't watch super Bowls like whatever. Okay, but the year that we got humiliated in Tampa Bay, that really sucked. All right, Yeah, that was like when year Beyers played the Chiefs. This year, Okay, they humiliated. We don't need to talk about the Lobsters lose on them. I'll tell you. Let's talk with the lobstraw war picture this. I didn't want to talk about that anymore. Sixty one. Wait, hold on, let's pause. Hold up your stupid arm right now, you knew exactly which one I was talking about. Let the camera see what is on your wrist? Are you the dumbest person I've ever met in my life. Are you talking about my Apple Watch? Yes? Yeah, You've four years worn a Cassio little gold watch. Yes, and then you went on Amazon and bought an eight dollars ninety nine cent gold band for my Apple Watch. Yeah. Absolutely, because it's a good look. It looks good. If you liked this giving me a thumbs up in the comments, my goal of what how this got your movement goal looked darm once. That's my movement. Sorry, I just looked at I saw that, and that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen. When well, I have a brand, I've gotta I've gotta stick to it. It's the gold casing around it. I think I'd like it better if it was just you know, I thought I was gonna hate this gold casing, but then I put it on and I was like, I like it. So, okay, here we are cool. Thanks Alex. All Right. Slobster Awards nineteen sixty one. Okay, France is on the tail end of what we call France's successful era, and by tail end it's over. They're not successful anymore. How long was there successful? I don't know, pretty much until America came all around it and took it. But France, France and colonialism too, you know that. And they did this in all of the world, particularly in Africa, and in the early sixties, a lot of African states were like vying for their independence, and France was also trying to be like progressive, okay, and so they were like, yeah, we're going to give out some independence. But they ran into a problem pretty quickly because they didn't like when people were independent. They were a big fan of all of the they we're going to give you independence. Oh shoot, we do not like that. Oh no, we still want control over you. We still want control. But you're independent. It's like it's like it's like you wanted to be independent, but not too independent. It's like you built like a catwalk on top of the fence and you're like, you get a little bit of independence. Yeah, yea yeah, yeah, but not too much, not too much independence. Yeah, that's exactly right. So this obviously there was a lot of uh cons for France and allowing these countries to have independence, primarily in the world of capitalism, right and the and they lose like all their all the places that they were exploiting right, and one of the main ones was Mauritania. Off the coast of Mauritania, there was a I don't know what the scientific term is for this, but like a giant lobster hive. I don't like the strong eye contact you just made with me as you went. I don't know the scientific word for this, but that's just a giant lobster hive. Geez. They are like animal, is a flock? I don't know. I don't know what a group of is it a flash lob A group of lobsters is called a pod. I like hive. They they seem insect like, so we can call it a hive. Specifically, specifically, what they were gathering here was spiny lobsters. Have you ever seen a spiny lobster? Spiny lobsters are like a braid of lobster that are obviously spiny, spidy, spiny, spiny. They got spines like little pointies, but they're huge. And take a look at this they, oh, my god, gigantic lobster. So how many of those do you think you could eat? I mean, it depends how quickly I have to look at them, and it depends how much money I bet okay, that was a quick look eight of them easy. Here's another shot of spiny lobsters. They're just ginormous. So obviously do people eat them? Is that what we catch before people eat them? Yeah? Is that? What? Is that? What? Like? First of all, I loved those two guys in the Tiger King documentary, But is this what rich people are eating? And then we all go to red lobster and eat the little the mini lobster? And then do you think there's some people out there who are cracking open crawfish and being like, oh, this is what lobster fake rich? Is that what I'm saying? Yeah, we might be eating crawfish and that's what they're the rich. That's big, that's feeling. That's the size of this table. Like, that's bigger than this table. Those are bigger than the table. Yeah that But it was so this lobster hive was a valuable, valuable hive of lobster. And there were big, big, big lobsters, big big, big big lobster and there's lots and lots of the problem was because they gave Martinia their independence, they couldn't just start ripping all the lobsters out of their seas that they were ripping out of the seas. Now they're Martinia's lobsters. And they had to go through a whole process and get licenses and approvals and you know, like that sounds a lot harder than just nukenem do it all legally by the book, you know, like and doing that it's no fun, especially if you, like you're fresh off your colonial period. So we used to. Yeah, So they started looking around the world and they said, who can we trick? And so they started doing surveys to figure out where these other spiny lobster hives were. They found another large spiny lobster hive off the coast of Brazil, So we can trick Brazil. Yeah, so they called it Brazil, and they said, hey, Brazil, here's the thing. We're very interested in spiny lobsters. It's like an obsession we have, Like we're we're very, very interested, and you guys have a very large number of hive of spiny lobsters. Would you be cool if we sent four boats over there and researched the spiny lobsters And they were like sure, we don't really care, Like fine, and so they sent over for research, and they took it, kidnapped them, and they sent over not for research boats, but a few dozen fishing boats, and they started throwing the seas and just pulling up all their lobsters. And Brazil noticed this and they said, this doesn't seem like research, and this seems like robbery. And France was like, oh, no, I don't worry, it's research. We're just really it seems like a hive of robsters, robsters. This is like ive wave robbery, ive way lobbery. Okay. So Brazil is like, oh, they're fishing, and they're like. Someone goes back to the president of Brazil and goes, Sir, our enemies are fishing, and he's like, shut it down, send out the battleships. What do you do? So you try to stop them before they leave so they can came over. They sent some ships out to kind of monitor them and see, like does it look like these people are researching? And they noted that the people on board this ship did not look smart enough glass. Yeah, they don't have lab lab clothes. There's no lab clothes, there's no yeah, there's no intel, nobody's reading. It's sure these cannot be uh research, and they're they're clearly fishing, right, So they right back to France and they say, hey, we've got some questions like this seems a little like fishing, not like research. So France France is like, yeah, we've gotta we gotta get them out of the water. Research. Yeah, and we got to take them back to the lab and sometimes we have to eat them and sell them to red lobster locations around the planet. But like for research, but how else are we going to study them if we are not eating them? That your your body is the best scientist. Hey, it's me again. Thanks for being here for this episode. If you like what we're doing, it does cost us money to do this, and so just think about that, you know. That's it. I'm kidding. No, we have Patreon supporters and it really helps us to make this show possible. Honestly, we're so grateful for everyone who listens to the show. But there's people who want to make more of it happen, and so they financial support the show and then you get a lot back for it. You get our private discord where we chat every day. We're hanging out and just getting to bond and hang out. We also do live zoom hangouts for a Patreon supporters, you get exclusive merch. It's a good time. There's a lot in it for you, and and it's a lot in it for us because we get to know you better. You know, you're not just a number and a stat board or whatever, but you know you're our friends and we appreciate you a lot. So consider doing that. If not, then you can listen to this dumb little ad because that's how we're gonna get money from you. We're gonna leach from you either way, we're gonna get paid. We're in this for the cold hard cash, babe. Anyway, here's an ad. How do they how do they get it? Though? I realized I forgot to put a CTA in mind. Oh day, Yeah, they can text Tillan to six six eight sixty six, thanks Jared. They run them back and they say, hey, I don't know if we're cool with this, Like, okay, whatever you guys were doing, like research cool, but taking all the look at them. Yeah, it's cool if you look at them, And it's cool if there's only a few boats, but the amount of boat that you sent and the amount of lobster that you're taking out of our seas. I don't know if we're cool with that. And also the fact that you're doing that kind of makes us think we should be doing that. And they're like, we shouldn't be taking all the lobster right and we should be selling them to red lobsters around the country. Why are you doing it? So they begin this kind of dispute and France is like, well, you told us we could, and Brazil's like, oh, we did, we didn't. We told you you could do something you weren't doing. And so this launched a like four a year long dispute that has been dubbed the lobster wars uh and it is, honestly, it's the closest thing to the Cold War. That's not the Cold War where they're like, we're gonna nuke you if you don't stop stealing our lobsters. That's it for the rest of the planet. We're blowing up the entire planet. Well, France had a couple of nukes, Brazil didn't have any at the time. Okay, so they started developing could have done it. Yeah, Brazil started They started developing lukes, which were just bombs that were just a ton of lobsters, and they were like, no, no, no, no, that's what they want. They want us to them, they want more lobsters. Bad idea, bad idea, and find someone with glasses. They're smart, fight someone with the glasses put on the boat and that they believe we're doing research. So so this they are constantly having these conventions where they're having these big arguments between their diplomats trying to decide who's right, who gets the right to this these lobsters. Because this is before the United Nations Convention of the Law of the Sea, which if you don't know what that means, it was a convention that established the laws on the series because no, yeah, in the in the seventies, the United Nations established the Law of the Sea, which created the territorial territorial seas and the contiguous zone around uh any country, as well as their commerce and conservation zones. So it was like, if you have a border that is near the ocean, there is a border out in the ocean X distance from from your sea near beaches that your that is yours, and you get to decide what happens in those seas, and that's any commerce, fishing, oil, whatever, industry happens, that's your decision. Sure other countries aren't allowed to be a part of that. That's part of what's becoming such a big issue in China right now because China's trying to act like their waters are way more than they are because they're claiming a bunch of territorial lands outside of their uh their borders that are contested. So for example, like Taiwan, they're saying, that's our country, so we get all these waters here, and everyone's like, that's not your country, so you don't get those waters, and they're like, yes, we do, and everyone's like, no, you don't. And then they're like, look at our warships and then everyone's like, you can be here for a little bit. So that's what's happening with that, but please don't luke us, Please don't luke us. And so it establishes what water are, what waters are, who's what they're whose economic zone, and then what waters are just like public waters where anybody can do anything, which there's not a lot of anybody. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, there's not a lot of these people on the cruise ships love to act like international water just do whatever they want. Yeah, I mean it does, right, They joke I could kill someone, kill you if I want to do. And you're like, hey, just you saying that, Yeah, you're gonna meet some lobsters. We're gonna do they like have like scanners when you get on. I think you're about to do they have a plank And I was gonna say, yes, yes we do. Of course they have a plank every cruise, every ship, cruise, just Carnival cruise. Carnival's got a plank and they use it. What are you about to ask? Oh, do they have scanners when you get on on a cruise ship? Like do they like like the airport, do you get scanned? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, they have security. And then lobsters aren't metal full of lobster back to like I mean, like I flew today with a lobster in my backpack. I have three carry ons all full of lobster. I've got two hundred lobsters in my bag. They're pretty I think they're graffee bro those are gruffish. No, these are loss No, they have security. Actually, when I first stepped on my first boat that I went on, I immediately saw someone get arrested. So I was like, all right, Carnival cruise, let's go international war. It's like, no, no, you're still in Galveston, Texas right now. Maybe calm the heck down. This is Galvestone, but now you're on the boat. Carnival has stripper laws than Galveston, Texas, is likely, honestly, yeah, I wasn't saying a joking way. So they're having these big disputes over the lobster, who gets the rights to the lobster, and it devolves into pretty close to an actual war. There was a couple of incidents and throughout this, uh, this whole Cold War where there was some escalations. So sure, for example, Brazil kept being like, no, you can't do that, No, you can't do that, No, you can't do that. And France one day was like, what if we send a warship with all of our our fishing boats, And so they sent a warship with the fishing boats to just kind of be there, which is a very Yeah, it's kind of like a hey, it's like, hey, war might happen. Yeah, it's like, hey, do you really think that we should take your lobster? That's a that's a that's bringing a gun to a lobster fight. Yeah, well it's bringing a gunship to a lobster fight. That's an it's bringing a warship to a lobster fight. And then the Brazil sent back a letter and was like that was pretty not cool of you. We wish you didn't do that, and we get the message also letters, Hey, that was very uncool of you to do that. Next time, please leave your warship at home. My mom says, if you bring a warship out, I can't come over anymore. We can't do this anymore. So then the next time brazilsan's a full fleet, and so they got a warship, battleships, Brazil aircraft character Oh no, sorry France. France brings a whole fleet. France is like, we didn't like your letter. Yeah, its was like, hey, we saw your letter and we thought, what if we brought the Italian mob? Is this they're just trying to like scare tact take them away from it. So Brazil was like, okay, we see what you're doing. And Brazil says, let's get our navy together. Here's the thing, Brazil at this time doesn't have a great navy. They've pretty much just got a bunch of ships that they bought off the United States when World War Two ended, and they're like, hey, a bunch of your ships are broken, what if we could use that? And the United States ships like France shows up, they're like gigantic navy, right, yeah, here kind of these people. Half of them are sinking as they're They're like, we're here going for you. No, it's a warship, submarine, it's platforms. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. So they had their fleet. They started to get their fleet together, and they realized this is the first time they ever really got to use this fleet that they brought up the US. Sure, and they were like this before they accidentally start a real war. Yeah, it was actually really serious. Shot their own boats. A long story short. They got in there and they realized that only one of their corvettes actually like was working. They had a few destroyers and things like that, but all of it was like it needed a lot of work before it would be Yeah, the one corvette that actually worked. They realized only one of the guns actually worked too, So they were like, this isn't great, but if we roll this out there, maybe we at least look like hey, we're serious, and so they they drove their corvette out there and France was like, that was cute, and so France starts doing like training exercises. So they're out there like firing guns and doing like full training exercises, trying to look like, oh, hey we're tough. And so Brazil, Brazil needs this and says, hey, we should show them that we don't care about their guns and stuff. And so what they did, Wait, what we don't care about they're guns and stuff, Like, uh, what are you talking about. So on the twenty first of February in nineteen sixty one, Okayu, there was a a T fifty three class destroyer from the French Navy doing one of these exercises and the Brazilian Brazilian Navy said, hey, we're gonna just do a bunch of short flyovers of them while they do these, and so that's what they did. This is an actual photograph from the event. And they just kept flying by, just being like just being like, hey, we don't care. You got your gut, but we got a plane. And it was literally just then these guys like just getting as close as they could to fighting without actually this whole time. The lobsters are in the one. The lobsters are a lot like when your parents got divorced and you're just in the middle and your dad's flying planes over your dad's like I don't care, and your mom's bringing home different boyfriends to be like, and it's just Brian. We work at McDonald's together, right, And like you're like, I don't care about Brian, right, but really your dad really cares about Brian much that he hits Brian with his ford. Two weeks later, your dad serves a couple of years in jail for attempted murder. Okay, it's a lot like what's going on all right, And here the poor lobster's artists being like somebody loveless, I'm sorry it was you know, and they grew up thinking it was all their fault and that's why lobster doesn't taste good anymore. Yeah, and then a net get to them and a thousand and that's you know, there's there brings them up. Whatever. It's like free range, free range versus cage. Yeah, lobster lobster, and they're just in the cotton the middle man. Yeah, so this guy like pretty divisive and pretty, you know, but it is always a cold war. We'll get their planes from I don't know. Actually, I'm assuming they bought it from somebody else, or maybe they built it themselves, who know who knows how they they just had planes that were flying like, yeah, I mean that looks that looks like an American plane. I might assume they bought it from from America ASTUS, sure from World War two? Like that looks like a World War two or American plane, but that could be wrong. Was like, we don't care. So does that have two engines on one wing and one on the other. No, the other one was just hidden by the cockpit. Anyways, so they I know a lot about planes. Yeah, how's that license coming? So they are you gonna get it? Now? I'm gonna hit you with my Ford Ranger. It's okay, I'll start doing some military locket with your freaking gold watch chain. Yeah this is kevlar, sure, so hey, go ahead. They eat a lot of ads for milk lately. Are you are you getting a lot of ads from milk? It seems like, bro, every podcast I listened to and not the not the not like host Reds, I'm saying, like the Dynamic Ads Spotify podcast app. It's just milk, milk, airport milk, like regular milk, like like got milk milk. The dairy industry has come on there. Well, there's been some Spotify swung their gigantic utter onto the table and they said, we're buying some podcast as this year, prosthetic utter. Everyone. Everybody, Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you like this, We've got a lot of great ones. Let me recommend a recent one, hitchpot Uh. Basically, some Canadian scientists said, what if we made a robot that hitchhiked across the country. You think it could make it? Spoiler alert, it's a fun episode. I like it a lot. Uh, you need to check it out. One of my favorite recent jokes is in there, so check that one out. But if not, thanks for being here. Honestly, that's interesting because I mean, there has been some bad press on the dairy industry. Fail is fighting hard. They might be coming act like there was that there was that documentary about it. That guy's a whole documentary on milk. Oh yeah yeah, yeah, Oh, I'm sorry. I'm in a loving marriage and I have a life and friends and stuff. About how much the like dairy industry just like took a stranglehold of us in the nineties and was like, drink milk and then but you don't. You don't need a drink at all. Oh, and I'll tell you dairy pads, wait a second cycle, pads, Drink glasses of milk, milk and your cereal normal, normal, okay milk, A glass of milk with breakfast up until hold on, chocolate milk, chocolate milk, normal, sick okay, chocolate milk, freaking sick bro great straw milk, sick bro froth milk with a little shot of espresso, good bro. If somebody pours, yeah, a eight ounce glass of milk from the refrigerator, yeah, into a glass, yeah, and then they just, yeah, they just drink that or aw, that person is a communist. It's pretty insane. That's pretty insane. Can I tell you something please. I did that until I was like twenty, and I'm not even kidding. Every single meal didn't matter what it was, steak, tacos, ohd on, you're every meal you had milk. I had a glass of milk with every single meal until I was like twenty. And then when I was twenty something just clicked and I was like, this is pretty weird, and so I stopped. And I also thought I something changed to me too, where I was like, I was like, oh, this is kind of gross. Also like it's it's not tasting good. But I did it with every single Evangel. I didn't do it at Evangel No, because at Evangel this is gonna you're gonna hate this even more. At Evangel they only had two percent milk. I was a whole milk guy, and so when I got to Evangel, I was like, I can't do the two percent milk, and so I stopped doing it at Evangel And I think that's how I grew out of it, because I justind of like stop. I'm just saying, if I ever saw you drink a glass of milk, we would not be here right now, you know what I'm saying. So I know you didn't do it an Evangel. If I ever caught you, if I ever caught you drinking a glass of milk with a steak dinner, what are you gonna go out to Rye on the Plaza and be like, yeah, I want the sirloin? Can I get medium rare? So? Can I get a glass of milk shot in the face everyone. I like, every once in a while at home, Like I'll go pour myself a glass, and I'll go out to like the shed, and I'll drink it in the show with the lights off. Yeah, you're just among all the bodies of the people you killed. Like, I can't anyone serial killers. I'll go out to my shed and drink a glass of milk and I put it in one of those koozies that makes it look like it's a beer and walk across my yard and then I take the koozy up and I'm like, oh God, milk. Until sixteen sixty six, this has been going on for years, constant debates. There wasn't a ready for this, okay. The Administrative Tribal of Renee summarized the French government's claims on lobsters, okay, and their point was this is serious. This is a legal document produced by the French government. They said, because when a lobster moves along the seafloor, it jumps and squiggles its legs, it's swimming. That makes it a fish, which means it's protected by Fishermen's Act and we can fish it no matter what waters we're fishing in. And so when Brazil's navy expert on marine life, his name was Admiral Paulo Marieira de Silva, pretty good on that. No, you didn't go ahead, he said, and this is a quote from him, he said, by saying, now, the slimy, slimy ocean floor creatures, he said, I can't have them, he said, he said, by that analogy, can't have our ocean rats. He said, by that analogy, a kangaroo must be a bird because it jumps along the ground. Hey freaking get them give him? And so, uh, that disagreement right there was where a third party, I don't know who that was, judge, judy or something was ruled fail a jury of our enemies, of our enemies. No, they ruled in favorite Brazil and they said, yeah, I mean us pretty sick like you got him with that bro. And so they ruled that Brazil has the rights to the lobsters in their waters and France does not. And so they kind of kicked France out. And what was the documentary about milk called milk money, because they missed a big opportunity if they didn't call it that, you know, I'm pretty sure it is like a play on the got milk thing. Dear Dairy, Dear Dairy, Dear Dairy, the dairy diaries, dear dear dairy. Is the last time I ever write her. You heard that song? No, it's a song about a guy who like kidnaps him and thrust in drunk milk. Okay, yeah, thems coming from milk drinkers. Don't let them milk for yours. Take your milk, honestly. Honestly, if Big Dairy wants to get people drinking milk milk again, they need to get it. They need to make it a culture war. Yeah, that the government is trying to take your trying to ruin farms. What you can do it right now? I posted I posted that video uh today actually from Edward Burnets where he did that with the cigarette people. It's the same, That's what I'm saying. Let's do the video, right. I mean, like, the government doesn't want you to drink milk because they want farms to die. That's the whole thing. Wait, hold on, you're saying the government wants the government wants us all to be dependent on them, right, So they're trying to slowly kill out farms. That's why there, that's why they were like, oh, milk's bad for you, like I mean, like you know, except for all through the nineteen hundreds, we were like, oh yeah, calcium and all the benefits of you. I remember the milk. Yeah yeah, dude. Obama specifically Obama. Do you remember when they did disorder machines out of schools. They were like, dude, no more milk, no more milk, open change, Nope, they want you dependent on them. So what you're telling me is they're trying to take our milk. Yeah, and we need to come together as a people to say you can't take my milk. Yeah, I'm gonna drink milk. You can't see I'm a milkman. I'm a milkman. Okay, milk man. I'm a milkman. Call milky. Nancy Pelosi has been caught and killing dairy cows all across the country. Okay, you're gonna let her take your milk? Are you gonna let her do that? Don't? Are you gonna let her take your milk? Are you protect your milk? Milk? They're not come and take it. Don't take it, Come and milk it. Don't let her milk. You protect your milk. Don't let Nancy Pelosi take your milk. Barack Obama wants to be a quick drinking milk. You do one more, just a little bit more passionate, like do your Alex Jones like be like like. The government's trying to take trying to take the milk away, and that's the whole day. They want you to close your eyes and start drinking water. All right, But here's the thing. Nothing has the same texture as that sweet milk. That's the thing. That's the thing. The waters contaminating. They're contaminating the water with the floor ride. But there's no fluoride in milk. Lobsters live on milk. Think about it. Think about it. Just think about it. I mean, I mean, when you really look at it. Sure, I owe those families that I lied about three hundred and sixty million dollars right now. Okay, Yeah, I lied about a couple of families. But I'm telling you the truth now. Okay, So what people people could lie, People could tell the truth that you could do the bowlt Are you doing a Ben Shapiro right now? Is that what you do? You're talking super fast man. You can really tell who we like anyway, the government's trying to get you quit drinking milk. Where were we so that we're at the Administrative Tribune all the right where they were, and someone has decided that Brazil was right. Yeah, Judge Judy said, Brazil, you get to care not fish hive. Yeah, they're definitely not fish. We don't really know what they are, but they're not fish. Seavern they're definitely not fish. And so as a result of this, there was a lot of they are one of the most alien looking things we've got though. Yeah. They I mean pretty much anything that far under water if you get deep enough, you go to the deep end. Anybody, if you know what I'm saying, any anything that swims below six feet deep, pretty six feet, including the people at your neighborhood. You know how how big six feet is. It's not a lot. Yeah. Yeah, they're freaky down there, all right, that'll go in the thirteenth theme song, Freaky They're freaky down there. So there was a series of ships that had harvested a bunch of lobsters in this in the most recent lobster season, and these ship owners came back and they're all of their lobster got seized in this decision because they're like, you weren't allowed to have these, and they were like, but we have them, but you weren't allowed to have them, and so we're taking them or giving them back to Brazil, and so they flew over Brazil. Just don't like those fire rescue plates. It's like, what is that? Oh my god, it's lobsterick, don't look up. Don't look up. I'd almost rather be bombed. Freaking. So they looped them, they did them. Now they give them back. They ship back there all the lobster. And then these shippers were like, hey, our lobster. We lost all our money from that whole season of lobstering, and what are we going to do about it? So there's this long debate too, like should we pay these people back? But they did They said no, why would they get paid back because they these were fishermen quote unquote, innocent French fishermen who were working because because the government told him they could. But then they got all their lobsters taken away, and so the government was like, yeah, you can go over there and take all the lobster you want, and we're just going to take taxes off of which you make and then yeah, and then they did it, and then they didn't make any money. So they had like a whole season. So there's a group of lobster fisher people that got like ruined, like financially ruined because of this decision, because they spent a full season out there and that got overturned. They got boiled. They got boiled. I think it's broiled. I think they broil lobsters with an R because it ends with an R. I think that's how it works. But yeah, this is a lobster war. It was a like five year long cold war. Oh that's it, that's the end. Yeah, it was a five year long cold war between Brazil and France. Longer good Night over the lobster of off the coast of Brazil. That ended in they didn't wipe out the population and the other huh no. And that's that's an interesting point that I thought about during this. It's interesting you never would have had this problem before the nineteen hundreds where it's like those are our fish because you couldn't get enough out of there where like you're gonna run out. Oh yeah, now you've got like industrial fishing. Yeah, now it's like, you really have to protect your that's part of your resources. Yeah, because because if you let somebody else come take them, they're gonna take them all and you're not gonna have any. And that's the lesson. If you let her come take your milk jugs, don't let Nancy. I hate that so much. Oh, I almost forgot. There's a very important moment in this. It was July first, nineteen sixty one. Yeah, the escalations have been escalating. Yeah, and Brazil said, you know what, we are going to have to take all brazil action. Brazil was like the cornered they're in a pinch. Yeah, they're in a pinch. And so they flew over in the middle of the night to one of Brazil's battleships with a fleet of fighters, and they actually sent an elite paratrooping team to board the ship. So they parachuted onto the ship. Oh, and they made their way surgically through this ship room to room clearing rooms, made their way right to the captain's corners, kicked open that at that door and tossed the captain a fiddle, lifted up their fill, and they said we'll decide this by fiddle. Off. Yeah, that's good. Hey, thanks for making it to the end of this video. If you like this and you want more episodes, there's more somewhere around here, and also clips from the show. But make sure you subscribe. Please do that. That really helps us. It makes us feel good. We look at the number and we go, oh my gosh, there's more people who like us. And it also just make sure that you don't miss episodes in the future because we put these out every single week and there's so many in the past, so many old episodes you can go watch. You know, there's an entire season of episodes that we didn't have a video for, so you can go listen to those if you'd like to as well. Thanks for being here. We'll see you again next week. On Things I Learned last Night, that's this podcast, right, that's this one. Yeah, that's the one Things last Night. That's the one. All right, you're free to go. Great,


In the early 1960s, two countries engaged in a tense standoff over fishing rights – with lobsters at the center of the conflict. This peculiar cold war between France and Brazil was dubbed “the lobster wars” and saw both sides flexing their naval muscles. So how did these nations end up on the brink of conflict over a delicious shelled … Read More

Kenny Veach – One Man’s Disappearance in an Area 51 Cave

01-30-24

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you’re werid.

Do you want to be buried? Or what's your deal? I've never really put a lot of thought into it. When I was a pastor, I would have said, yes, do you want me to elaborate on that? No, what's the topic? Just start the episode with. When I was a pastor, I would have said, yes, that sounds very sketchy out of context. Sorry, man, Have you ever heard of Kenny Veach? Uh? Yes, Chad's dad that Chad. Chad does sound like his dad would be Kenny, but he goes by Kenneth. But he calls Chad calls him Kenny because he's trying to be disrespect trying to be buddy buddy with his dad. You were trying to Kenny? Yeah, they punch you. You ever tell you? Do you ever call your dad Tim? What? Did you ever call your dad Tim one time? Just make him mad? Uh? I don't think called my dad Charles once? Yeah, I go, I bet your dad loved that. Yeah? Uh yeah. I don't think I've ever done shot me in the chest? Do people who to meet you good to meet you? What's your name? You'll never know? Insowing yourself way. I'm tired of meeting people. I am kind of at this time in my life where if someone goes, hey, man, I'm Nathan. What's your name? I'll it does not matter. I don't really, We're never going to see each other again. I'm good knowing you. Last cat I got out died. That is a power move, though, when you meet someone just to go no, no, no, to meet someone and say hey, I'm I'm Tim, but you can call me Dad. That seems and said no, but you have to call me dad. But you have to call me dad. Oh, you have to call me. That's worse I did. But you need to call me Dad, Dad's it's a power move. I don't think so at all. It might be a prison move. These new lights make you look really sick, but really no, I just all right, go on. Kenny Beach. Kenny Beach is he's a guy who was a big hiker. And yes, I have heard of Kenny Beach. You look at me like that because you know exactly where I'm looking at you like this. I think it's the Yeah, it's the Cave, the Dutchman episode, the Flying Dutchman. Yeah, yeah, okay, please mind. I want to tell you you're gonna love this one. What is it aliens, and we did a whole Kenny veach bit at the beginning, a whole little veach a name bit at the beginning. Yeah, and it's aliens. I mean it could be we need an alien. We need a different theme song for our alien episodes. So we need to make a version of our theme song that sounds more like you. You know, can you can you recause that's something you can do, not super easily. That's not what I asked you. But I say, you know, I'm not saying can you do it by the time this episode comes out. I'm saying, can you make that a project of yours over the next like year or so. But this episode, this episode doesn't come out until the end of January. So you got do you got time? We can't see. Yes, we will expect that on our desks by Friday, freaking We can't afford to lose. The turnover at our company is pretty rough right now. We're people left. The toxic culture is not They called me Jared and I shot him in the chest. I told you to call me Dad Roll our Space theme song. It's lie on YouTube about you? On YouTube? You can just say whatever you want. Yeah, YouTube sometimes will drop a fact check in the comments on our videos. On ours, we're the only ones that do that, dude, And everyone's like, oh, okay, this is more interesting than all this stuff everybody else is lying about. Tell us more things I learned last night. We can honestly just choose a different one, you know, it doesn't have to be the same one the same if there's a way like remix it in or something. Yeah, I think you just put up one of those guys that does the soundtracks for cheerleader competition routines. You know how they always mashing up stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, mixing them together. Yeah, but it's really just those three songs. We did a silent disco recently, yeah, and who's we, you know. And so we were at the silent disco and there's two DJs, and so you've got two channels on the headphones, right, and so uh, you get like it you flip to red and your headphones turn red and that corresponds with the red DJ. Yeah, flipping the blue obviously. Right. So what I was thinking about was that these two DJs are on stage and they're looking out of this room and they can't hear anything but right, because you know. I mean they're listening to their mix. Yeah, but they have to watch, yeah, as everyone decides which one they're going to choose because like it's a good mix. And then all of a sudden, the people in the red start having a really good time and the people in the blue are like, that's about And so suddenly everyone switches the Red and the guy the DJ and blue just watches all the headphones turn around, changed colors, and you realize, oh, I picked a battle one. Huh, you know what I'm saying. But also the blue guy was doing the was DJing and he kept I hate DJ sometimes because he kept not doing the beat drop. Oh, he kept switching it. No, you just switch. It just kept it was like zoom zoom, zoom, zom zoom, boom doom boom boom boom, doom doom doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom doom doom boom boom doom doom, doom, broom doom, doom, doom, doom doom do. I looked at it, I was like kind of going. I was like, oh, here comes, here comes and then it kept going and I just eventually switched to this bro that is that is a very obnoxious thing to do. And thenoom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. That was the That was the drop. Honestly pretty hard drop though, is pretty lost my mind. You just saw me in there in this silent disco kicked out, dude, Yeah, they banned me. Like Kenny Beach is searching for aliens in the desert, right, he stumbles across a cave that shaped like an m Here's what I know about Kenny Beach. He's missing. Yeah, this is all I know. Yeah, You're in a good spot. All I know is a tweet I saw is when I brought it up. Yeah, is that he's he's a YouTuber. He found a cave that he was like, this is mysterious and then has not been seen since. Yeah, this is this is close. You're on the right track. So, uh, Kenny, Kenny Beach, he was a few things. He had a job, he had had a stable career his life, but he hated working for the man. Yeah, and so he he had an idea which I'm actually the snag a screenshot of this idea real quick, Okay, this screenshot is from his I think it's from his new This is from his YouTube channel, I believe, And this was his Shark Tank subscription subscription submission, submission, submission. This was a shark Take subs So here's the thing. He quit his job, he started the business and then he made something. Yeah, he made a submission to Shark Tank. Here's his product. It's a toilet paper holder that was a little bit easier to switch the toilet paper. Is this him? This is him, This is him demoing it for his submission to shark Him. He set this in a Shark tank and was like, look how great this product is. And it's it's a little bit easier to switch your toilet paper, Like just a little bit easier. This is really funny. I was just talking last night to my neighbor about Shark Tank. Same neighbor I was talking to this morning. We were we were at the back talking about Shark Tank. No, No, I don't talk to her. She's like, she's like, you know, the last person every time I see her. Every time I see her, I stare her down and I look at her dog and I go no. We were talking about how you could, you know, think you invented something great and then go on Shark Tank and they're like and this just like this, and you'd be like, no, I've never heard of that. Tell me more about that. That's crazy, that's kind of WHI Yeah, that would be embarrassing. Yeah, and they would one hundred percent bring you on, Like they'd be like, yeah, bring this guy on for sure. Yeah, he thinks he invented the French horn. Yeah, get this guy in here. This guy. Okay, so it's kind of it looks like it's like a trumpet, but it's like really curvy, super stretchy and curvy. Hey, but for real, do you think we could get you on the show for that, for like inventing the French and do a whole pitch with the sharks. They didn't like it. They didn't like they said. They told me, was that as I'm too young and if they give it to me now, then what will I work for? You know? So, so can't quit his job to start pursuing to do this. What's it called, uh, quirky new improved T be holder. It's just called quirky. It's called quirky proof T be holder. I don't think he's named it yet. Okay, but he quit his job to pursue this quit his job, well, equit his job to pursue business. He hasn't like he he doesn't sit around. That's exactly what he's doing. That's exactly. So here's here's another one. Let me hold on. There's an ad. They all toilet paper. I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm not one hundred percent sure what this one is for it is. I think it's just a light. I think here's a I think the idea is this is like a night light. It's the Glowar Bear. And it looks like a popcorn tin. Yeah with a if you told like a third grader to make a polar bear out of clay stuck on the top. And I think that's a switch on the back. I think it glows. And he made a shark take submission video for this. We should just watch his videos. Yeah, we can watch it in the after the fiddle? OK. Yeah, and so that can you put a video on the TV. I'm not sure. I've never tried it. We can figure that out. After this. We showed videos on the other TV, did we know live? We drug them over? Yeah? Sure yea. Anyways, so the Glowar bear is this other invention. So he had a handful of these inventions. Toilet paper bass, not ailet paper base. But mostly I like that this guy is just thinking about it while he's in the bathroom, just like kind of invins him. This is not easy enough. It's kind of dark in here. It'd be nice if there was a polar bear. He's in the basket of the dark. He's just in the dark. Well, he has a kind of chop in here. Man, it'd be great if I had a polar bear like a glower. I think it was a bunch of bad ideas. He's got a bunch of a bad ideas. He's trying to start businesses and they're not really going anywhere. But he has this hobby of hiking. Big hiker, big hiper guy. He lives in Vegas, and so he goes out in the desert and he hikes, and he bragged often, and his YouTube channels mostly his hiking videos. He would hike and whatever vlog his hike sure and occasionally showcase a new invention for shark tank. Sure that guys, I'm out on a hike today, so I show you this new product that created. Uh, it's a sponge with a smiley face on it, and it's just a little you know, Hi, I'm Kenny. You have to call me scrub daddy. You have to, but you're my uncle. Sorry, uncle scrub Daddy, Uncle scrub daddy. Okay, so what hell? Okay. So he's out hiking. So he's out hiking. He's hiking all the time. So he regularly bragged on his on his hiking vlogs that he was a guy who would go hiking. This is him holding worm. It's a big word. No. He would regularly brag that he didn't bring provisions with him. He's like, he's there, I just bring like a candy bar and like a single bottle of water and I go on this like candy bar. That's what he would say. And he would brag that he's like he's like, I don't need that much stuff. He's like, he's like, we're fine. And he would go solo hikes in the desert in Nevada. Yeah, and people were like it that's your responsible ability. Yeah, They're like yeah, okay, And so he got he developed his reputation in the hiking community for being an irresponsible hiker. Okay. But he was also a fan of aliens and all that stuff and all that stuff. Yeah, anything conspiracy. He was a fan of that, okay, and he made a lot of trips out to like Area fifty one, you know, Area fifty one, gazing, you know what I'm talking about. No, they like sit outside the fence and see if you see anything. Oh is that what they do? Yeah, that's what some people do. They like go camp out by the fence and they're like, we'll take theirs out there. Yeah. They sit in the coolers and like anything cool gonna happen. Honestly, it does sound like a good time, kind of a good time. It does sound should we do that? I mean I'm not saying well, I mean yeah I would do that. It'd be good content. You should come out to Why don't you come out like let's say December? Yeah right, Oh no, I gotta take my brother orthopedic surgeon. Is that why you? What happened here? Did your brother really break his arm? Yeah? Carry karaoke night, Yeah, he had a karaoke accident. Wait, what happened? He broke his arm? He tripped going in, fell on the curb. You're so serious? Yeah, he broke his he broke his arm right here to the curb. He was walking into a karaoke place in Port. I don't know, I don't know which one, well, Westport, yeah, off and just your brother's a Westport kind of guy. His his friend group goes Westport off key. Yeah, they go there in Pond and Pine the two places that m P makes sense, Yeah it does. But yeah, it is just clean break straight through. Wow, his shoulder right up. It was his uh humorous wow right right right before the socket. Yeah sucks a lot. Yeah, he's he's in a sling right now. But it looks like they're going to cast him up. He doesn't have to have surgery, jeez, but they're gonna past him up. And yeah, freaking sucks. That was a bad one. But yeah, he does have appointment on the twenty seventh that I got taken to. Is that why you can't go? That's not why I can't go, but that's part of But now now that's part of why I can't go. Now now I haven't obligation. I have an obligation to go on top of my brother. Anyways, family are your first friends. Friends are your second family. So Kenny Beach was also an alien guy. He a big family. Be clear, he was a human guy. We believed that you're right, You're right, You're right. I gotta be sure. And so he would spend time on alien blogs and commenting on the forums and and YouTube videos. And there's a particular video, a Stephen Greer video. We've talked about Greer before. You know who Greer is? Yeah, isn't he a pastor? No? So Stephen Greer. This guy. We're gonna show a picture of him real quick, because I do think this is important and I want to I want to highlight this for a second. Okay, I know I've said this before, but I'm gonna say it again. If you see this guy saying anything, don't pay attention to it. He's a liar here he is. This guy is full of it. Whatever. If you we hear of talking, stop we talked. I mean, we've brought him up loosely. I've never a pinch up for I don't know. This is from some I don't know. I just found this on Google images. But he just yoked. I will say he's jacked, but he's full of it. He's a former doctor. Okay, he's a former doctor. He was like a like a physician doctor h but he retired and he does lie for real though I'm not even kidding, like he is full of it. He just makes these YouTube videos, him and his wife, and they're all about disclosure and they're like finding all these documents and talking about aliens and they just lie. And it's it's and it's it's so obvious. It's so obvious to me, but a lot of people just really believe everything he has to say because what he'll do, he'll do. He'll say, he'll he'll bring up some famous like general or something who's dead and be like yeah, and he told me in confidence. And so it's like you can't verify any of these facts, but he brings he name drops all these people constantly and like says these documents, but he can't reproduce the documents, he can't show you the evidence, and he just has all these like just really okay there there, it's very clearly he's lying. But as so many people are just eating out the Palm's hands and buying off his merch it's it's just me crazy. But anyways, let me lie for a second. So he's watching the Stephen Greer video okay, and in that video I don't even remember there for some reason, he's lying on YouTube about something. Okays, you on YouTube, you can just say whatever you want. Yeah. YouTube sometimes will drop a fact check in the comments on our videos. On ours, we're the only ones that do that, dude, But that's the libs. But they in the comments on one of his videos. I don't know what the video is about, but in the comments, this rabbit trail happened in the commoners and they're all commenting back and forth, right, and Kenny jumps in it because they're talking about crazy things they've seen that area fifty one, right, and he says, he says, hey, this is nothing. You guys don't even know what compared to about. See you guys, we're all telling tales, telling lies. There is nothing to think about it. Alien conspiracy people are like the fishermen of the days, you know where like the fishermen are always you're telling tales. Yeah, that's true. Lying, that's true. Yeah, because you see something but it's like it was a shooting star. But you're like, but it's were't interesting. He was a mermaid. Yeah, you might be onto something, because that's what I do with all my aliens just embellish. Yeah. Yeah, I don't even remember the last time I lied. Really, I don't know. I can't think about I lied to you today about what you'll find out. Okay, Now, so he jumps in there, and he jumps in the competence. He's like, he's like, oh, this is nothing to what I've experienced. Yeah, and he says, he says, I was out hiking near area fifty one, sure, and I happened upon a cave and the opening of the cave was shaped like a capital limb. And that cave. Uh, here's the thing, here's here's here's the thing about me. I am a cave guy. If I see a cave, I go in. If I see a cave, I'm going to go. And I'm gonna go in a cave. Doesn't matter, it doesn't matter where I am. I'm a cave got see gy cave guy. Came go in a cave, and I'm gonna explore that cave. I'm gonna tell you everything there isn't it Okay, Usually it's nothing but rocks and bears. But but he said this cave was different. He said, this cave I couldn't even enter. As I got closer, I was just overcome with fear. And he said, and I could feel this like a vibrating hum, like a low hum, and like vibrations that were like shaking my body and making me almost nauseous. And he said, I couldn't enter it. I walked, I left, I turned away, and he said, I've never had this experience before my life. And I still think about this cave all the time. I caught the m cave before I fall asleep. Yeah, I just yeah, huh yeah. And so everybody in the comments was there. He's dropped that casually. He says, I'm a cave guy. Okay, I wish I wish those people would find it stuff. You know, have you read in our comment stately? Yeah, it's all like freaking, It's all stuff. It's like you know, valiant Thor told my ma this and whatever. Yeah, but is sane enough. It's not. It comes. Let's do a common episode because there are some there are a lot of multi cup paragraph comments that are like this. We'll do a common episode. I hide all of them. We got him, so he he says, Okay, we're going, We're going. All right, He says, all this stuff, and everyone's like, oh, okay, sure this is more interesting than all this stuff everybody else is lying about. Tell us more. This becomes like an Internet mystery. Everyone in the comments, all those Stephen Career writes, are like, oh, we need to know more about this M cave. Yeah, So a whole reddit subreddit gets made and everybody starts digging in trying to figure out where this M cave is. They know it's somewhere in Nevada near area fifty one, and so they're like scouring maps online trying to get back to the source. They found this guy on this guy's YouTube and they're commenting on his YouTube subscribing. He ends up getting like sixty eight thousand subscribers because everyone's trying to figure out this m cave and every video. Honestly, the the inventions aren't bad. It's a pretty good idea, just like, let's be honest, like don't you want this in your home sales? Skyride And so he uh starts making video he's making He's getting all these views, but all the comments are tell us about the can cave. They're just in cave. In all calves in cave. I mean, if there's one thing YouTube comments are, it's pretty direct on what they want cave. And so he makes a video and where he talks a little bit more about the M Cave and uh, I don't know if this was from that video, this is from one of his hiking videos. Sure were. He talked a little bit more about the mkave and he says, he says, if you guys wanted that bad, I'll go back out, I'll see if I can find it. And everyone was like, yes, that's exactly the exactly, Please God to the cave. And so he makes this video where he goes out and in the video he says he says, I brought my pistol, I brought my candy bar, and I got my water. We're hiking into the desert. We're going to find the M Cave. And it's this whole log of him wandering around the desert trying to find the M Cave and he doesn't find it. He can't find it, and at the end of it still uploads it. This video kind of sucks. I know that couldn't find I tried. I tried. I just had to get content I had for you to I had to the algorithm. I had to feed the algorithm. I had nothing else to do, and so he, uh, he has this whole video of him going around the desert and at the end he's like, I really thought it was gonna be easy to find this. He's like, I swear this was like right around here. Sure, I couldn't find it. I don't know where it went. I'm sorry. And so the comments are like it's okay, no, no, no, no, it's fine, but keep looking. Yeah, pretty much they're like like it's okay, but you should try again, Like you should keep trying, and he does. He was like in the comments, just like I don't know whatever, you know, like just kind of like trucking it off. And everyone's like, but you should keep looking. And now by now a lot of other people have started going, like a lot of other videos that start popping up with people were trying to find the Yeah, and uh then one day he says, okay, fine, I'll go back. And so he says, I'm going back tomorrow. I'm gonna go I'm gonna find it. I'm gonna bring my gear, my candy bar, my gun, my cameraun. It's the same candy bar eating the candy bar, right it's not like the same milky Way, Milky Way. It's my trusty, the milky Way that I bring with me on the moldy it's it's a moldy way. Uh. And so he goes out into the into the wilderness. The next day. When I was in middle school, I got a candy bar from the snack machine, peeled it open and it was moldy straight up. Yeah. I took the teacher and I was like, snag machines got moldy. Excuse me, what did you say that the snack machine has a moldy candy bar? And she went, I'm sorry. And I was like, can I get my sixty five cents back from somebody? And she went no. And that was like the first time I ever experienced like bad customer service. Yeah, well, do you think that that's not her? I know it's not her school, But she's a freaking teacher. You could give me sixty five cents. No, she's not. She's a teacher. She can find someone to give me sixty five cents. She can make my parents give me. She can get twelve teachers together give me sixty five cents. She no fun works. Yeah, she give me sixty five cents, local student sixty five cents. You can give me sixty five cents by going to the link in our bio where you can donate sixty five cents. Because in middle school, I got a moldy milky Way, I got a moldy Way candy bar, and I'm still pretty upset about it. Yeah, that's rough. Donate sixty five cents today, straight up? Do that? Actually me? Before I forget go turn the donate button back on. I turned it off because I was like, we don't need this. We do need it now, we do. We didn't. We didn't for a while. I'm trying to make our link tree a little bit more pointed, but I guess i'll make it unpointed again on points sixty five give us a loose link tree where you can donate. Lenk tree is. So this is five cents a day, all right? What is that per month? Sixty five cents a day. It's like fifteen bucks, yeah, seventeen dollars, probably seventeen dollars and forty cents. Okay, all right, So what is sixty five times thirty one? It's twenty dollars and fifteen cents. Yeah, that's easy. You could do that sixty five cents a day, for just sixty five cents a day, for just one moldy milky way, for one moldy way a day, you can change Jan's life and missus Taylor, if you ever hear this, you could have just given me sixty five since you I don't know who I hate more her or my neighbor. So anyways, anyway, he takes this milky way out of the pressure of the YouTube comments, is like, sure, I will face my greatest fee. I will go into the desert and try to find the kid. And he actually says in the comments he says, he says, I'll go in this time. Ah. So he goes out on the hike. Day goes by nothing, two days go by nothing, three days go by nothing, four days go by nothing. Come to find out, he disappeared. Ah. And so after he didn't come back that night, his girlfriend file of missing person's report said, hey, he was going hiking in this area. And they're like, does he have any provisions? And he said no. They're like that was really he prides himself and in his ability to just you know, and they're like, well, I mean, look how able. He was a lot of calories. They're kind of mean about it. I mean, it seems like he's pretty I mean, I would tell you right now. Last boyfriend that went missing, Yeah, can you tell us what's his YouTube history? Like? Oh oh, Stephen Greer, he believes a lot of lies. Your boyfriend's a liar. Your boyfriend's kind of dumb. He's kind of but he's out of the picture, right like you. No one knows where he is right now. I mean, like but like you have no idea where he is right That must be pretty hard for you, so hard you want to go get some coffee and talk about it to you geez inappropriate missing person's detective, So they set out a search party. They know pretty much exactly what it is because he's he's done this whole other vlog where he's looking for it, so they know exactly where he's at. So they said, on a search party. This is the following day from his first hike, and the search party pretty quickly finds a mine shaft and at the opening of his mind shaft on a rock sits his cell phone by itself, no clothing, no milky way, nothing, just looks like it's purposely placed. It didn't fall out. Yeah, and it's not damaged. It is set on the rock. And so they searched the mine, like my life, what my life is set on the rock. So they go they searched the mine intentionally, not damaged, didn't fall there, intentionally said, intentionally placed on the rock. Okay, yeah, don't do that with your christ the solid rock. Guys, he is sinking. I can't do it all laughing. Shoot all other ground is so hard, dude, M stupid. So they searched the they searched the minds. They can't find him. Yeah, they continue to search. They search all over the place. They've got his phone. They've got his phone. That's it. Belongings No, their belongings. Uh. And they search the desert. They can't find any sign of him anywhere. They can't find clothing, they can't find the sign of a struggle, they can't find blood, they can't find anything. Come up empty, so the news says. So the news is like, we don't know where he is. And then you tube gets hold of this and the YouTubers are the YouTube fans look for the cave like he's a casualty, but we still want They're like, he got to the cave and this exploded it like it was a big deal. And now it's a huge deal because everyone's like, oh, they got him, like he found it and they got them. And it's not clear who they is. There's a few theories. It's either the government. He walked in the cave. That's what them stands for. Nancy. Nancy's Nancy, but she spells the she spells it wrong. It's yeah, Nancy Pelosi, Okay, but she still pronounces it Nancy. It's real mad. If you pronounce it wrong, it's Nancy. But you can call me Nancy, all right, just change it? Can I can? I call you? Changed my name to Dad? I'm Dad? I am dead? Oh uh yeah, who's dad? Yours? Who's Dad? Me? I'm Dad? I'm Dad? No, who's Dad? You're not kidding me? Me me Dad? My Dad? He's on second. I think you just also legally changed your middle name to father. Oh Dad, and then my last name's Son. Here you go anyway. I mean it costs the same to change any amount of your name. He's not wrong. My name is Father, Son, Holy Spirit, so you can call me the Trinity, which is also my other casting, here's the governor and so so you know, Desk's sister was named Trinity. Yeah, I don't know that, but you do. Now interesting, So I don't think you call her Desk now eight years Oh my god, it's been eight years, six years. Okay. Anyways, Yeah, so the Internet figures is or the Internet's like, okay, so it's it's out of the government, the government. He got in and the cave is a government cave. It's it's an Area fifty one cave, or or it's an alien cave. Yeah, because aliens have caves on Earth, you know, and so the aliens got yeah with the rest of us, Yeah, you gotta. They have to have secrets. Sure, all right, So the so the Internet is like, we're gonna find this, We're gonna find this in cave. We're going to liberate him. We're going to free him. So they can start the search and a bunch of YouTube take the trip out and they start searching, and they find a bunch of stuff that they think is maybe the cave. Sure, the leading theory is this cave, which is weird because it's got this red line outlining. Okay, and you can't tell from this picture, but it's sealed with rocks, and so it's like it's indented a little bit, and there's a bunch of rocks that are blocking it. Looks intentional though, the rocks, Oh, the rocks in front of it. Yeah. Yeah, so those rocks in front of it are definitely intentional. But like in the end, there's rocks that are blocking it inside. So it's completely sealed, like there's no air you can get through, you can't stick your finger through. It's like a bunch of rocks got stacked up and blocked the whole way in on purpose. Yeah it looks I mean, there's no way it accidentally happened. Uh. Yeah, So this is a little sketchy. He sealed in there. He sealed himself in there. He's in there. You think he sealed himself in there. That's an interesting theory. Possibly you think he would in there. I think he ate the moldy candy bar and went a little nuts, got turned around. He thought he's inside the cave. This is a real theory. Put this on YouTube, Okay, Will he's in the cave, he thinks, because he's looking at the cave interest to them. He thinks that's the cave. That makes sense, and he goes, I can't let them know that the cave. So he seals the cave, but he's inside, seals himself in the cave. Now, hold on. This scene is an interesting movie plot that we could do. Not necessarily the cave, but the idea that they get flipped and they end up sealing their faces. Oh, interesting, whole characters. Is Dad, but he's got a list, so it's pronounced Dad is pronounced. What say it again, prono, list doesn't That's what I thought you said when Jared, I have a list, so it's pronounced jar TH's clarifying. I guess it doesn't change at all. It's so dumb. Oh that's funny, dude, it's gonna listen. It doesn't change it at all. So the these YouTubers find some caves that they maybe could be it, and they're making these studios. They think it's that one. Here's the thing, though, they don't get the home. They don't get the vibrations, they don't get the the nausea, they don't get the stress, you know, And that's the cave. The cave is the stress. It's not a cave without the fear. It's so some theories maybe we should maybe we should drill in just a touch. Let's drill through this cave a little bit. Okay, sure, that was pretty good until you broke it. Like the drill was good. Crashing sound was not great. That was the drill breaking. Oh, the drill broke because it's too two sealed. Okay, So you think Nancy is going to let you in that cave? That easy? No, no, mo, Mo. Her name is Nancy, but she got a lisp. She got a list that turns her ends into m's Mamsie. It's not a real list, but that lists work. So the that's mile. So the thing, Yeah, there is a theory that one of two things. There is a directed energy weapons. Have you heard of this? D e W's directed energy weapons. It's it's the idea. It's kind of like remember in the nineties those trash can guns are just I was just thinking that you pulled up. Yeah, that's the concept. That's the concept, but just bigger, but bigger and constant. And so the idea is they can basically push down waves that stuff hard enough, heavy enough, fast enough that it has an effect. And so the and they use it as a tyrant to keep people away from their stuff. Yeah, and so the idea is that this cave was an access point to some underground Have you heard of a dumb mm hmmm uh, not like a dumb, but I'm talking to one right now. I'm not saying have you heard of a dumb, but a dumb? Yeah. Yeah. So dumb stands for deep underground military base. The idea, it's like Nord or dad As those are dumbs. And so the idea is that there's a dumb in area. Every mattress firm, every mattress firm is a dumb. Hey, excuse me, is this a dump? Did you say dump? With a list? Matters Firm and Aspen Dentals they pop up in weird locations. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, there was one of those back home. It was a place that had a best spy sized parking lot. Yeah. The only shot though, was a shop called Long Goose Designs. Yeah, and it was open for thirteen years and the parking lot was always empty. Here's the thing about Master's Firm and Aspen Dental. I see them together all the time. Yeah, like they're always together. Yeah, it's because they're friends, That's what I mean. Why it's kind of like CVS and Walgreens, though not at all. Are you joking? Because mattress firm that does mattresses, most of them aren't firm aspendal that does teeth teeth, tree teeth, similar shape. Yeah, okay, I'm saying those are nowhere near each other, but for some reason they end up together, like KFC and Pizza Hut. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, there might be like a none of the table, like they're grouped together, you know, That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it could be a front. Though you could be right. There wasn't there this thing online about the mattress firm. Hold on mattress firm him Aspen. Mattress firm is absolutely just a normal business. And we do not know mattress firm. There's nothing we like. I freaking love mattress firm, big fan, and I'm a mattress firm guy. A t Y says, you heard that right? Have you heard that? Yeah? You don't know how to spell mattress? Did you spelled with two t's mattresses? Now a spell with two t's? Is it one t? My dumb right now? Hold on wait it is? Yeah, God freaking dang it m A T T yes. What did you say? Did you say M A T T R E S S Yes, it's two s S. It's two ss. I literally just looked it up. It's two s's. Yes, it's two s's. Shut up and get out of here. M A D D r f I ruy. Alright, so where do you get your teeth done? Stupid? Okay? All right, all right? How do you spell as A S P E and uh? ESPN? We're going deep, guys. No, okay, so you know the head of a ESPN told me in confidence that's how you always lie. Okay. So, so the idea is they think it's a directed energy weapon to keep them away from the underground, away from the doctor, and because he got too close a second time, they were like, we're gonna kill you or take you or do some tests on you or something like that. Same concept is also theorized, but with aliens. Instead of a government base, it's an alien base under there, and so the aliens we're like, okay, we're gonna take you now too, and we're gonna do some tests and we're going to tell you now too. It's interesting. The the sound effecting, though, is a good way to think about it is like those mouse things that you plug into your house. Same concept, Sure, because you hear it and you get really stressed out and you leave. You like the way this sounds concept or worship music. I like the way this sounds. I'm gonna leave. What are you saying? Ohso you're saying, Okay, there's a demonic mice in this house. If I if only I had Wow, that's what I call bridge. Oh, that's what I call the worship. And it's like, ah, I gotta get out, getting get out of here. It's key change. So anyway, all these bridges. Yeah, so the the internet thinks that he got abducted by aliens or the government or both or both. The there is saw the evidence that he was not killed by like a mountain lion or a coyote or anything like that, because that we were found, we would have found remains or some evidence of a November twenty fourteen. Okay, yeah, so I found him. But what we do know is a few months after nobody found him, and YouTube is now a mouk with videos about him and the story and everything like that. Yeah, so his girlfriend got access to his YouTube, sure and left the comment and was like, hey, guys, I don't mean to spoil all of this for you, but I do think you all need to know because you're all going out and searching for him and risking your life. And he made it all up. He lied about all this. He's still fine, right I am. He's like gaslights all of YouTube to the contract now, she says, she said, uh, she said sadly. Uh. I think that the explanation to this is a lot more innocent. Isn't the right word. I don't know what she said. She said, ever since he left his job and try to start this business and it wasn't successful, he's incurred a lot of debt and he's very been very vocal about being very depressed. And he left for this hike. He did not take his camera. He did take his firearm. And he always talked about how when he was in high school, his father took his own life and he said, if if I were ever to do that, he would always say, He's like, I would never do that anywhere near anyone. I would do that where no one could ever find me, because he like found his dad and it like scarred him. Got it. And so she says, it's pretty clear that he went out there to take his life that day, while they never found it. She's like, I believe that's what's what happened here, but no one and you do believe her. So they're still out there looking for him. How it works. Yeah, So unfortunately a sad uh ending to that story. Probably. So anyways, the moral of the story is, if you're gonna go into the desert, yeah, he might have stealed himself in there. He might have stilled it. Yeah yeah yeah uh. And you're gonna go out there, yeah, take a mold away, take a mouldie at least two, at least too, at leastways be yeah, be prepared. And I found a cave once, did you? This is acred true story? Yeah? I did find a cave in Missouri cave state. You know that it's not the cave state, but there's caves in this state. He's a cave state. No, it's not. What's the cave state? Google it? What is the cave state? There's a lot of caves here, I will say, yep, fiddle off. Hey, thanks for making it to the end of this video. If you like this and you want more episodes, there's more somewhere around here, and also clips from the show. But make sure you subscribe. Please do that. That really helps us. It makes us feel good. We look at the number and we go, oh my gosh, there's more people who like us. And it also just make sure that you don't miss episodes in the future, because we put these out every single week and there's so many in the past, so many old episodes you can go watch and you know, there's an entire seat episodes that we didn't have video for, so you can go listen to those if you'd like to as well. Thanks for being here. We'll see you again next week on Things I Learned last Night. That's this podcast, right, that's this one. Yeah, that's the one. Thanks last night, that's the one. All right, you're free to go. Great.


Kenny Veach was a YouTuber and hiking enthusiast living in Nevada. He regularly posted videos showcasing his latest inventions and documenting his solo hikes in the desert near Area 51. Veach took pride in bringing only the bare essentials on these hikes – usually just a candy bar, bottle of water, and a handgun. In 2014, Veach posted a comment … Read More

Jean Baptiste – The Notorious Man who Robbed Hundreds of Bodies

01-23-24

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you’re werid.

Amen, what's up? Have you ever heard of Jean Baptiste John the Baptist? No, you're trying to do you use your Bible degree today, You're just trying to be subtle about it. I like, I like a way of ministry that's like, have you ever heard of Jesus Crystal? John? Oh? No, I guess not. I guess not. He lived to be thirty three. Uh, and then a millennia. You'll never believe this. He came back from the dead. Pretty wild. He came back from the dead. No, Jean Baptiste very different from John the Baptist, but honestly, in some ways kind of similar. Now that I'm saying this out loud, there's some connections which we can draw later in this episode. I can't go to jail. I'm too bad that jail cops that I'm too bad for jail. That's why I'm trying to become friend of the worms. You're trying to get ahead of they can bring me back. I mean, does your wife know about every box you have in your house? Yeah, that's a healthy marriage. Mine doesn't know about half box things. I learned last night. So John Baptiste, he was he was you know what. Actually, no, that's not a comm that's not a current, that's a that's not a nineteen nineties name. We're talking about somebody old. Uh No. Yeah. So he was born in eighteen thirteen in An, Ireland, but by the mid eighteen fifties he was living in Salt Lake City, Utah. Okay, yeah, so he moved around a little bit, which we'll trace his life in a little bit. But in eighteen sixty two something interesting happened. Let me pay the scene. It's January eighteen sixty two, Salt Lake City, Utah. Bring Him Young is out starting Mormonism. Bringing Young is doing what he's out starting Mormon in the eighteen sixties. He didn't he didn't start it. He didn't start it, but he was like very influential. He's starting the university. Yeah, he's a big preacher. Yeah. And so he's doing his thing. The Governor, John Dawson was walking home and two dudes jumped him. Okay, beat the heck out of them. Yeah, and it's the police. Sure, and so the cops they took these guys and they shot him. And the guys that beat the governor, yeah, they killed him. And uh, one of them had a family and they took care of it. They buried him whatever, the whole family. The whole family, like, we'll handle this, We'll bury you guys together. Yeah. The other one, his name was Roni Clawson, and he was kind of a famous like bandit. This is wild West era, right, Wild West era West, So it's the wildst The wild West is literally, I guess I think the wild West. I don't think Utah. Yeah, I mean it's West. It's the snowy wild West. Okay, it's wild wild West winter, wild wild West winter. You squeaking over there? What are you doing? I don't hear it. I think it's you. I'm not hearing it, not anymore. I'm yeah, I wasn't here, though I heard it earlier. I think it was a car. Wow, that's where I thought it was too, But he kept going anyway anyway. So he, uh, Marni Clawson was a bandit and he was kind of an infamous bandit and he was out, you know, jumping governors claws. Sure, yeah, and uh so by this time he doesn't really have any family to speak of. The family that he does have that's still around. It is like, we don't want anything to do with him, and so they couldn't find any family for him. And so a local police officer Henry's love this guy. I love him, he's my son. So Henry Heath was like, I'll be his uncle daddy. Sure. The local police officers said, okay, I'll pay for his burial and i'll and he even bottom a suit so he could be buried in this suit. Sure. It was like a really generous thing to do for a guy who just beat up the governor. And so they buried him and everybody went out the way. I thought it was the end of the story. Well, Mernona's brother came to town because he had heard the news. Sure, his brother was killed, and I mean had touched contact with him in a long time. But he said, hey, I mean my brother. He's my brother. And so he came and he asked for the body to be zu so he could take him back to their families. It goes a plot. This is a rented men's warehouse suit. Is the best you could do for my brother? I know he's a bad guy. He was like, it is three weeks late. I I guarantee that, I guarantee them. It's like I'm gonna have to pay for this. Yeah, I'm gonna have pay for this. No one thought that through. No one thought they're renting a suit and then burying with the dead guy. I mean, how do you tell, hey, we were into that suit. It's not going back. You can go get it. But that would make you make you a pretty a person who robs. That would make you a person who goes to the graveyard, digs and steals the clothses for the dead guy, robs him. Grave robber does. Even in the wild West West, last winter West, even in the winter wonder wild West, people don't like that. People will like it when you dig up their graves. Yeah, so Min's Warehouse was real mad. But then the brother showed up and they're like, hey, good good, you can dig them up. Yeah, and so get super suit bag. So they're there, they dig up there, they're at the graveyard. They're digging up the grave and everybody's watching with baited breath for them to open it up, because men's warehouses like, we want to see ye, And he's like, I want my brother back. And when they dig it up, they open up the grave, they find something peculiar. He's not in there. There's there's a cloth, and there's a guy sitting there here. Why do you look for him? It's like were you guys, were you sitting in this in this coffin the whole time? Why do you look for him here? I'll return the suit, let me get I'll get it pressed. You probably don't want a three day grave suit. No. What what they found was John Baptist's body, but he was laying face down. John Baptiste. Oh, sorry, nor Clawson, Sorry we're talking about John Baptiste, but we're not talking about him yet. They find Marnoni Claws in his body, face down, naked, and Men's Warehouse is now mad. We had nothing to do with this. We don't know what we take. We don't take the returns this seriously, we're not that crazy about this. So he's naked, face down. Yeah, and so the brother, needless to say, it was like, what the heck? Guys, like, this was really rude. I know, like he was a criminal, but this was really rude. This is so disrespectful. And Henry the officer was like, hey, I swear I bought a suit. I bought a suit. We put him in the suit, we barren him face down. We were respectful, we did all. I bought him a suit. We barren him face down. Listen, I mean we respect him. But he still shot the governor. The governor beat up the governor for it. But I shot him, punched the governor. Here, I punched Governor Mike Parson. I walked straight up to him. I just isn't true that you can take three punches to the gut. So yeah, so they the police were like, okay, this is weird. We should look into this a little bit. Sure, we should see if we can figure out what's going on. Where's his suit? So they get the warehouse very so they go to the local grave tender. What's that grave? So it's a guy man. He tends to the graves. And so what that means is he it looks after him. He's in a graveyard. He looks out every day and he goes, ah, still dead, still dead. That's his main job. That's a very important make sure none of them zombie. He's got two jobs. And when they do the interview, they go, can you make sure none of them rise from the dead too? Don't flirt with the widows? Okay, bad taste doesn't look good for the cemetery and we don't. We don't like it when you do that. Yeah, that's They go to the cemetery owner's job and they go, was he rolling in his grave? He's, I don't know, I can't see him. We didn't put portholes, telling my boss we need to put below grounds, we need to put those little those little things that you get, you know, those things when you're a kid. Don't ask me, ask the worms. They know he's he's a lonely guy. He's a grape tender. He talks to the Yeah, he talks to the talked to the worms the other day. The worms. That's a whole different thing. It's one thing for him to bring it up to be like, you know, the worms say this. It's a whole other thing to walk in on a man talking to a worm and he's just holding it at eye level. Well, I mean, you know, handed hold down here can see it. It's a very tender, two handed, two handed grip and are kind of very floppy that worm. No, he keeps, he keeps telling that. He was telling the owners. You know those things that when in grade school you look at him and then like and you look up over the wall. Yeah, apparently the periscope. Yeah, he said, let's do one that goes down into their grace periscope. Whoa do you remember that app? You remember the periscope app? It was like the original TikTok live or I g yea yea yeah yah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so sad, but yeah, that's what it was. It was periscope, but it was like right next to yours, your gravestone, and I went down so you can look at him. Yeah, still there. I actually do want to install that in mind. But then I want here's what I want, all right, I'd like, what's this here for? I want a pretty big grave and uh, I want one of those little portholes in it. I want like, I don't want a grave. I'm buried in the ground. I want one of those like chambers. Yeah right, and then you're going to prop me up in there like this, and then right in front of my face is the porthole. So if you just look you in the eyes straight up, like looking back at him, that's give me a bronze nose too. Yeah. So they went to the local gravetender, who was Jean Baptiste. Oh, so he's here, that's that's the job story. So now he's he's the grave tender, okay, And they get there. They get to his house and his wife is there. He's married. Oh, but he's not there. He's out working. He's out working the grave. See him when they dug up the grave. His wife is like, where is he? Right now? Where is John? He's tending the graves's trip. I like to go fishing, you know. I hate the sound of the screams. I'm sorry, what did you say? No luck today? Talking to the worms? Man, I'd like a worm. I'd like a word with that word. So, so she's not he's he's not here. Yeah, She's like, he's not here. Why do you look for her here? This story has a lot of parallels. So they say she was I've never heard of her husband. I've never heard of about him, never heard of the guy who also lives here is your husband, I've never heard him. A lot of parallels. So they say, well, yeah, so if he's at work, he wouldn't mind if we looked around, right, And this is before warrants and before do you have a warmant for that? Excuse me that you say it's a matter of fact, dude like slitherers out of his pocket. He says, we can do whatever we want. I think you're holding him against your will. All right, So they look around and they noticed something strained in his house, a bunch of boxes of clothes. The clothes smell like dead people. What do dead people smell like? Ask the worms? Okay, No, they look at the clothes and the like, these are clearly decayed clothes, like they're decaying because they were on a decayed Okay, so we're poor. Don't come in here. Don't go to my home looking for my husband and then start insulting our taste. Your clothes are clearly belonging on dead people. Okay, that was rude. Yeah, they're rude. I type of my neighbor, my new neighbor in La. No, my cat got out, duck got out on things. No, I love my other neighbors. This is the neighbor right behind us. My cat got out on things, yeah, which in Missouri not a big deal. You know, in California, coyotes and stuff, and so I was like, oh, that's bad. We have coyotes here. Yeah, but they're not around my house. You know, we see him at night where I'm at now, do you really? Yeah's cool? Yeah, And I talked to him. They're mean, they're bullies. So anyway, Uh so I'm looking heru at our apartment for my cat and obviously very frantic. I'm very pale, you know, I look scared. I look like I've lost my animal. Yeah. My neighbor's walking her dog back into her place. She goes, can I help you because I'm like kind of close to where her not in her space at all. Yeah, I'm just kind of close to where she lives. Yeah, and she just kind of help you. And I was like, oh, I'm sorry. My my cacking out. He's white and gray, fluffy like if you find him, like if you see him like, and she just goes. Last cat that got out died and walked inside. So what happened to your cat? I found him? Is she the killer? She and kill my cat? Did she kill the other cat? As punched my cat and I shot her? Uh? She walked straight up to him. That's the kid. No, but I'm gonna set her up. Punch that cat. That's the governor, that's the government. Hold on, you just named my next cat. I'll tell you that that's freaking hilarious. That's the governor. We've got, We've got Dougmlet, Lady Jim, and I the governor. Where's that little hat? That's very funny. Yeah. So so they say, hey, you're clearly still in the clothes. John's got some explain it to do. So they rush back to the cemetery. But they get there, they find Jean and here's an artist rendition. I don't know if this is exactly what was happening, but this is he had a little he had a whole temple set up for all the worms, and he was in there doing worm Church and they were all there there, throw together, right, and he's reading from the Worm of God, and the cops showed up. When they showed up, all the worms came and they just engulfed his body and he became this worm man, just completely wrapped up in worm is right there. This is an artist of what was happening. I don't know if this is what's happening. Yeah, he was doing his job. He's making sure the dead stayed dead. Which one is he he's a guy falling over and they're saying he's fighting a zombie. No, this is this is they find him digging up another grave. Oh, and they were like, hey, there was only one grave that's supposed to dug up today and it wasn't this one. And he's like whoops. It was like oh that, And so they they arrest him and Officer Heath he had this is a grave robber story. Yeah, I made a dumb grave robber joke in the last episode. Yeah you did. This whole episode is a great rubber episode. Oh wow, that's kind of what he does are talking is that he I mean, I'll let Tim explain the full story, but the gist of it is that he goes, you'll get it, digs up the grave and robs it. So the the officer Heath his daughter had passed away earlier this year, and he freaked out and like tackled the guy because he thought you robbed my daughter's grape. He's like, oh, I didn't rob her. I swear I promising her. She's the only one I left alone. I love her too. She's still alive. I only dig him up with they're dead. Yeah, I wait till I stop here. In though, that one needs a couple more days. And so, long story short, they took him in and they started an investigation. They looked through all of his box boxes at home, and they realized he's been stealing. He had dug up over three hundred graves wow, and stole goods, shoes, clothes, trinkets, necklaces, whatever. But for why, Well, he wasn't sun and he wasn't wearing them. He just liked to have them. He had him in boxes at his home and his wife didn't know about him. How big is his home then, I mean big enough for him to hide some boxes in it? So I guess to be that big, That's what I'm saying. I mean, does your wife know about every box you have in your house? Yeah? Yeah, that's a healthy marriage. Mine doesn't know about half the boxes. I mean, we got the warm box, we got the dead guy box, just the old guy, that guy. So they're like, okay, yeah, you dug up a bunch of Christs, like three hundred, three hundred, big deal. Are you gonna give you my Christmas gift today? By the way, talking about I mean like I don't think we're going to see each other before Christmas. Christmas gift, Well, you're not coming out to l A now, No, Yeah, as you promised did you bring a Christmas as I promised? You were like, we're definitely coming out. Well that was definitely the plan. Uh huh, definitely. I have you and I have different definitions of the word definitely. Well, it was definitely at the time. At the time it was definite no, no, no, but definite means things happened follows changed. Tentative. It was the word you're looking for, no, no, because it wasn't tentative at the time. When I said definitely, it was a definite. Were your flight's booked, they were picked. That's tentative. So they I've got to pick up your Christmas gift. Yeah, I'm gonna ship Crazy Heart up by my whole apartment. I know, just the one. I know, just the one. I saw him burying a couple of months ago. I was gonna love that. I love that guy, gonna love that BUCkies hoodie. I got buried in BUCkies hoodie. Yeah. I want my I want my my funeral sponsored my I want my casket to look like a NASCAR dude. Yeah. Yeah, I'm still getting paid. I mean, you guys can be sad I'm getting paid. Yeah, I'm getting paid while I'm getting laid the rest, so they making money during I'm gonna make money while I eternally sleep. So I die one day, right, don't talk about it. Sucks totally. Hopefully my hopefy by the time we're talking about maybe dying. Yeah, that's why I'm trying to trying to get ahead of he can bring me back. I live on as the word man. So in that picture show he's robbing the grave, but the guy in the grave is fighting back. Yeah, that's not real. I don't think. I don't think that ever. As far as we know, he never Yeah. So the police are trying to figure out what to do with him because they don't have anything in the loat of books about what do you do when a guy steals three hundred stuff from caves? Three hundred stuff? Yeah, we know if he stills two hundred stuff, but three hundred stuff too much stuff. So U they're going back and forth trying to figure out how they should deal with it. And then this is where Brigham Young gets involved in the story. And Bringham Young is uh preaching uh, and he says he says, you know what I think. He says, I think hanging or shooting John Baptis East would not do anybody any good. He said, I think what we need to do is we need to exile him, and we need to leave him as a vagabond on the earth. And that was part of the sermon. I don't know what point he was going to or where. That illustration was much like our souls are vagabonds. Yeah, but there's no way back for him. And one of the cops was there that day and he was like, that's an interesting idea. Actually like that now that you say that, Like, I kind of like that. And so what they did is they took him and they said, hey, we think that what you did was so bad. We can't put you in jail. We can't kill you because you're too bad for that, too bad for death. Yeah, you're too bad for us to kind of cool. Oh, I'm I can't go to jail. I'm too bad. Yeah, who said that? Too bad for the cops? The cops that up too bad for jail, so they just go none. We've actually convinced the whole town to never talk to you again. He just has to be got to live in the town. That Actually, that's that will drive you freaking insane. That would be like, you're just we should do that to somebody, but do it in like el have you ever come to a live show of Tillan. Don't talk to Alex. Just just don't do it. Don't. Here's the thing. Most people don't know what he looks like. It's just Abigail, right. We made her close her eyes who time we opened them and posts and then he wore one of those uh, one of those bald knobur masks from sort of our city is over there in the corner. Just what is that? That's Alex, that's Jet get back on the table is sitting there and do it sound stuff. We don't let him do that. We don't let sound stuff sound stuff. Sure, okay, so they what do they end up? That is a great punishment if you do convince the whole town is not talked. Yeah, that's crazy. No. They branded his forehead with a brand that said branded for robbing the Dead Holy, which it wasn't a brand. It was actually a tattoo. They said that, but they said branded, I should say, sure so branded for robbing the dead. And then they took him out. There was a punishment that people did. These tattooed people's foreheads. Well, that was part of the punishment. That was only step one of the punishment, okay. Said two of the punishment is they took him by boat out to Fremont Island in Salt Lake. Okay, I'm showing you a picture of it, just to Fremont I. And so this is just like a deserted island in the middle of Salt Lake. Yeah, I see that. And the good thing about this this island. So he's supposed to like starve to death out there. No, no, because on the island is the island is owned by a farming family called the Miller's. That was okay, yeah, and they last name. I don't know why, You're like, yeah, okay. So they had cows, all their cattle was on this island. He's going to kill them. And they had a they had a shed with like provisions. So imagine you've got a private island, right, and one day some dude out in the back of your yard talking to your worms, and you're like, hey, what are you doing, bro? And he looks at you and on his forehead it's brainded for robbing the dead and he's just ducking to a worm. Excuse me, and he just goes That's where I like it. You gotta move your tongue a lot. Is the world I've ever seen. He will lead us wide? Were why why tongues are wider than words? But they're about the same. Why same length but a different width? The height, same height? Leg different wide wor no? No? The police showed up at his door, at the door of the Miller family. You open up the door, this police and they're there with the guy branded for Robin Graves. Hey, we're leaving in the back yard. Said can we leave this guy in your island? And they're like why? I feel like it's pretty I mean it's on his forehead. What do you mean? Why? Why do I have to explain this to you? Were the police? You have to say yes to me? Police? You his grave robber. I don't understand what you don't understand. He went to the cemetery. You island owner. I don't know. I leave, He stays, yeah, So there's so the family what they protect you're dead. So they the family. What they did is they left their cattle there, and their cattle grazed on that island. They would come every three weeks check on the cattle. Chill on the island for a little bit and come home. Sure, And so they had a little shed with some basic provisions and then obviously there's cattle and stuff on the island, I guess, and they were like, yeah, you can live here forever now, and so they just boat them out to the island, leave them there, and then they boted away, and another pre hands that the miller's now every three weeks are just gonna check on John Baptiste. Also they're gonna check on their cattle and also check That's kind of annoying that the police are just showed me like, hey, would you take care of this guy his grave robbery. You don't have to take care of him, just make sure he's there, you know, and not like whatever Robin Graves. We don't think there's graves on this island, but you never know. He'll find them. There are due and the guy happens to be a serial killer, and he's like always gonna uh huh, no, it's totally cool if they stay here. Hey, you can stay on my island. There's no graves there. Coveras the Miller's killed three hundred people and they go, we don't know what to do with someone who killed three hundred people. Hey, do you have a do you have an island? You killed every person he robbed? Oh? Interesting, does that mean it was okay for him to rob them? We don't know what to do with this. Two rights, two wrongs, two deaths. So they leave them on this island. The miller's come out three weeks later, checking on, he's fine, whatever, and so they go home. What's eating their cows? The provisions? Maybe some grass, who knows, some grass that's called for desperate measures? I don't know. Maybe he's fishing a little bit. Who knows he's not fishing. He can't out of respect for the worms, and so uh. But then another three weeks, okay, another three weeks. Three weeks go by, sure, and the miller's come back and they find one of their cows was slaughtered. Yeah, obviously cutt into strips, and they're like, who did what's it? One of the cows there covered in blood? And then the shed was complete. What are you do it? Drink my drink? This shed was completely dismantled, and Jean Baptiste was nowhere to be found. He made a boat. So yeah, so, as a legend has it, he took the shed and he built a boat and he boted his way back to land. And this started this massive multi state manhunt to try to find Jean Baptiste. And everyone was like, what does he look like? And they were like, look, look for his forehead, the forehead, you'll recognize him. You got a wanted poster or anything. Uh no, no wanted posters. But they started looking for him and nobody ever tracked him down. He lived the rest of his life as a free man, allegedly there is and then in twenty ten they exhumed his body. You know, in twenty ten they found him. Now the legend, there's two sides of this story, okay. Option One legend has it that he made it to Montana and became a miner in Montana and lived the rest of his days as a miner in Montana and a dog a miner. He didn't go there and pretend to be eight years old. Oh yeah, he was a miner mining you know. You know what I'm saying. The other version of the legend is that he never made it across the lake it started, and he drowned in the lake and his ghost haunts Fremont Island to this day oo. And so if you go to Fremont Island and you hear the sound of worms, it's Jean Baptiste worman about Fremont Island. What we do know for sure about him, and I guess we can talk for a second about how he got here because he was born in Ireland sure, and we don't know from the point when he was born in Ireland in eighteen thirteen until eighteen fifty five, where there's a gray area. We don't know exactly what happened here a good portion of his life, but we do know in eighteen fifty five he left Australia and went to emigrated to the US. So he made it to He arrived in Honolulu in April of eighteen fifty five, and then later that same year he arrived in San Francisco, and he stayed in California for a few years in San Francisco before traveling to Salt Lake City. What people theorize is that the reason he was in Australia because his favorite Chinese restaurants there. It was like, I gotta track it down. Another reason he was in Australia is because at that time Australia was a prison Island, and so he in Ireland had committed some crimes that they shipped him off to Australia for oh maybe robbed some graves and got shipped to Australia, did his time, and then hitched a ride on a boat to the US, got a job as a grave robber, a grave tender, and went back to his roots. Experience in graveyards, ah tons, so much, so much experience. Let me tell you about this one guy. I mean very I can spot a grave robber miles away. I know exactly. Oh yeah, what do they do? Most of them have brands on their forehead. Yeah it's pretty easy. It's pretty easy. I don't know why they do that, but yeah, I mean, so he this is John Baptiste. I don't know if this is like a famous thing in salt Lake. Everything I've read has acted like this was like a famous Salt Lake legend. Okay, but so maybe bring it up next time you're there. See if anybody knows like John Baptiste, John the Baptist. No they don't. Oh you're right, they don't have the same anyway out there. I do know from the tour I did. Yeah, this actually explains a lot, Yeah, because I was, you know, we're out rough housing. I don't know, we were playing football outside and I got tackled. I fell over and my ear laid and straight on the ground and from when I assume are the worms now, yeah, I heard. Hey, thanks for making it to the end of this video. If you like this and you want more episodes, there's more somewhere around here, and also clips from the show. But make sure you subscribe. Please do that. That really helps us. It makes us feel good. We look at the number and we go, oh my gosh, there's more people who like us. And it also just make sure that you don't miss episodes in the future because we put these out every single week and there's so many in the past, so many old episodes you can go watch and you know, there's an entire season of episodes that we didn't have a video for, so you can go listen to those if you'd like to as well. Thanks for being here. We'll see you again next week. On Things I Learned Last Night. That's this podcast, right, that's this one. Yeah, that's the one. Things A Last Night, that's the one. All right, you're free to go. Great.


In 1862, a man named Jean Baptiste worked as a grave tender in Salt Lake City, Utah. His job was to look after the graves in the local cemetery. Unbeknownst to the townspeople, Jean had a secret hobby – he enjoyed digging up graves and robbing the corpses. When the police eventually caught on to his morbid habit, they were … Read More

Tycho Brahe – The Bizarre Life and Death of an Astronomer

01-16-24

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you’re werid.

Hey man, hello, we're starting. Oh is that why you wouldn't come to the door. Yeah, we're shooting. I know I'm running. You can hurry up, man, we've been waiting for you. How was your flight? I set my drink down outside the back door, and I left it my big old water I had. Oh, don't get it. No, is it just sitting on the street downstairs? Oh? I was gonna say. I thought you meant like it was like a water bottle. What was she looking at? I knew you were playing in that sense. Yeah, last week we actually recording right now. Yeah, we're we set up a shotgun and everything to catch you, and like there's a camera back there, back behind the screen. We got you right when you walked in. Okay, I was doing a bit man, Yeah, me too. That was now is about that? But yeah, we're back to our small table. Okay, all right, run the episode. Then wats have you ever heard of it? No? I haven't. Let's go all right song. Sorry, I didn't know. I didn't know. I didn't have time to settle in. Hey have you ever heard of a tycho brah? Let's say it again, Brahi, Tycho Brahi, Tycho Brahi tycho Brahi it Well, I guess it's a person, so it is. It is a he not it's you're right, all right, that's on you, dude. Oh things I learned last night. I hate the door too? Or was it black? No, that was the color of the door when we got it. Oh, I don't remember anything about this room. I don't. I don't know. Man, we've got we've got some decord coming along. It's I'm pretty excited. I don't even time to like, I just came from the airport. Yeah, I was it. I was your flight. I don't have time to do anything, all right, No, yeah, we're shooting right now. We're going. I like I like this. I don't know if we've commented on this yet in an episode, but I do like this space because, uh, because we can't even see Alexas Like, yeah, we comment on it. We commented on it. Yeah, we did a whole bit about how he's in this closet. Shut the door. I'm happy. Can you skip from your little app? You unlocked the door? Did you hear me knocking? Yeah? I did, Okay I did, And then you were like you were like pressure cord, he's stuck out there did. No, I don't know what That's what I'm saying downstairs and figure out how you from your app? Can you set the thermist down a little colder in here? This hot? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know why you wore that because I was on a flight. Is super comfy? Is the flight? Was the fight? Cold? You planes usually are. They're either freezing cold or boiling hot zero in between. What do you want the temperature up? I don't know. It set to three degrees fair night. I don't think it's working. All right, thank you. This is what we need a PA for. Alex. Would you go set the thermist? I'm joking, all right, we got new lights and new stuff. Can't go on with the episode Taekwondo. Tie Co Brahi Brahi, Tycho Brahi. Tayco Brahi, Tycho Brahi. Yeah. So Tackle Brahi. He was a scientist in the late fifteen hundreds known for astronomy. Okay, and I should note astronomy, not astrology, but maybe a little astrologists astrologic astrologic. Here's I'll just show you. Here's uh, here's our guy, Tackle Brahi. That's what he looks like. Here's another depiction of him. Okay, pretty similar, and then, uh, really defined mustache? Is that? Here's him with his nose. Is it his actual nose, like mummified nose. No, it's like a bust. It's like a bust. It's a bust of his nose. It's a nose bust. It's a nose bust. Yeah, that's an option. Yeah, you can't if you're just if you're poor, you can't do the whole head. You can do any part of you if you're whatever you want. Really, let me just get a cheek. You can do that. I can get one cheek made as a bust. That's what you're saying. Yeah, you want one cheek, you put that. I do want, But if I want, no, that's too expense. Let's talk about Tycho. Okay, so Tycho. Hey, uh, I ran my my speakers through my back and I here we go. That'll work. Tycho. He was born in fifteen forty six December fourteen, fifteen forty six, to parents who were royal airs. Kind of we been keeping the calendar that long, you know, December fourteenth, fifteen. Whatever. Yeah, just time keeps going, you know, It's just we've been keeping the calendar for so long. It is kind of peculiar if you think about it, that it's like someone wrote all this down, yeah, or or at least like described it enough where we could guess. You know, what do you mean, like if they didn't write down particularly no what happened? Oh that's what I'm saying. Yeah, Like like his birth certificate, Like I guess they'd had CAD birth certificates back then, did they have? See, I don't know how we know this, Like how do we know when his birthday was? Are there archaeological records of That's what I'm saying. The calendar's important. It's so long ago. He is an important guy, so it makes sense that we would know from him he's important. He's very important. Actually, I can tell by the character the second character, like the the drawing you drew, you drew show him, this looks like an important person. This is this is yeah, because he's he's got to be a person in power because the they're making fun of him. Oh you know, unless that's like unless he's like I really like this, this is exactly what I look like style, you know what I'm saying, Like it's a character. Yeah, yeah, Well, I mean I've got caricatures of me. Yeah, oh what a theme park? Do they get empower when you sit down on a theme park and you pay that person to draw a character of you. Yes, you have so much power over that person's privilege. You know that is something that you have the time to go to a theme park. Here's here. This is true. If you go to a theme park and you sit down and you get the character drawing twenty, you're willing to spend forty five minutes getting drawn by a dude. Yeah all right. Uh, and I'm saying it's a great drug. And in my theme park experience, because we were not like well off like you, I guess yeah, was, we don't have time to do that. We have to maximize our experience of this theme par because we've paid a lot of money to be here, okay, And so we brought our own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that we're gonna eat in line. No one eats any of the park food because it's way too expensive. And then if you go to the bathroom, we also have a separate backpack for that. We don't waste any time. So so what you're saying is when people say check your privilege. Yes, you check your sack of caricatures and see how many you gotten where you got up? Yes, Wow, dang, I'm pretty privileged. Then. Yeah, I know I've got a lot of caricatures of me? What about? What do you talk about? Why do you have a lot of characters of you? That's something my parents liked, all right, whenever we would go to fairs, Think did I put a couple of things? But yeah, I ran out of time. This is giving very Uh hey, we're under construction. Twenty year old kid in his first apartment. We're under construction here, We're still this was just kind of stuff. It's got a girlfriend, so he starts to decorate a little bit. But you don't have a lot of money or stuff, so it just kind of looks like it's just, oh, look I got this Obomba action figure. I'll put that up. Yeah. My great aunt gave me this vacuum lamp. By the way, did you see I learned how to turn on the light bro Oh, I didn't know we did that, neither did I. Where are our extenders? They're somewhere that would solve this problem. I think they're actually in that drawer back. I thought that when I sat down. Yeah, well I thought when we put this up, when you're set it all up, you got here and you were like, oh, shoot, he's outside, he's outside, he's outside. I got to do a bit right now. Well, honestly, we're closer to it now, And so I was like, I don't know if we need him. Turns out that was wrong. We can add it anyways. So tackle bra Brahi is bra He it feels like bra kind of get rid of your picture. Oh yeah, you're right, he's kind of. He's kind of a person of power. He was born into a noble line, and so his parents were Addie and Beattie brought Brah Brahi. Beatty's a good fifteen hundred names, and he needs to make a comeback. Beatie. You want to bring that back? Yeah, yeah, name your kid. I don't honestly, I'm not sure if beat is how you pronounce that. They but they were they were a part of the like noble royal court and what country is this? Uh? I can't wait to see how this goes. And so like they were they were noble people, right, not like noble, but like nobles. Sure you know what I'm trying to say, and so they were relatively well off, but not like not like insane, like you know, like it was like it was like, you guys are doing well, but you're not doing like I think it was like lower upper class if that makes sense. Okay, I don't know if I know, in middle class you make those decisions, but I don't know if an upper class it's lower. Oh, they make those distinctions for sure. I was actually just talking to uh to uh our neighbor drove into the airport this morning. Yeah, and she was talking about how sometimes her boss will say stuff that she goes, oh, you have money, and you don't realize you have more money than all of us do. And so because I we just got back from our vacation, and the whole time of that vacation, I was like, this is pretty nice, but I'm also seeing a lot of you know a lot of uh, what's this part of your body right like between your shoulders, like right here where your next spine. So yeah, just like top of the spine, a lot of spine tats for a resort, And I go, oh, this isn't where rich people hang out, you know. I was like, we're in our twenties. And we can afford to be here. Yeah, and there's like a lot of you know, people in their forties and fifties who are there. And I go, see, you're not rich, you're but they're they're at the resort. Yeah, but we can afford to be there. Okay, you know it's like a cruise. Yeah, you kind of better than a cruise. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, we're this resort was better than the cruise. Uh. And the cruse is all fine, I performed whatever, that's all right. No, I'm saying there's but there's also like she was, like my neighbor was saying, She's like, there's I've heard of these clubs and I said, oh have you. Uh, these clubs are like the billionaires hang out, and they only want to hang out with each other. So yeah, they don't want to be around the poores. But when they said the poors they made millionaires, you know, saying when billionaires are more people, they mean millionaires people, dude, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that's and I don't think of you pups. This guy was born into Was he born into a resort family? Guy? I think he was born into a resort fan cruise ship. It's not cruci is definitely above road trip families. Yes, yes, yes, that's down there. Yes he's he's above cruise ship. He's in he's in resort family, right, he's in. He's not all inclusive resort fan. Sure, that's where he is. Wow, he's so he's doing well stuff, he's doing well, right, I mean he's an infant, he's not doing anything, but his family is doing well. And but here's the thing. He's not contributed at all. Here's the thing. His uncle, his father's brother, goes by the name Jorgan. That's his birth name. Does the name he was given the way he goes by it, Jorgan? Uh? He was. He was upper upper class. He was the one percent. In fact, he actually owned one percent of Denmark, like actually Festing own thirty percent, So pretty wild up. It was a little Yeah, it's different, but he was. He was. Did you see that this is a total But we did an episode about black Rock. Yeah, but did you see the legislation that's proposed. What that would outlaw companies from owning single, single family homes? Interesting? Or it being part of investment portfolios? Interesting? Interesting? Investment portfolios is interesting? We could talk. We can talk about this. I have thoughts that is interesting. No, okay, so Jorgan, his uncle Jorgan was one percent it will past, but incredibly wealthy, sure, an ancient billionaire. And then I don't even know if we can call own. He doesn't even the cruise ship. The cruise ship is too poor from he's got a cruise ship in the sky. They had that figured out back then too, and then we lost it, and then we lost it in the stupid No Jorgan. So Jorgan, for whatever reason, one day was like, man, this kid, I wish he was mine, and so he kidnapped him. So he kidnapped Kidnappeddicho. Oh man, I love my nephew. I love my nephew. Gosh, my nephew's awesome. I love my nephew. You're my son, now, my son. I love my son. And he's contruded to my wealth. What a psycho, dude. This is his brother's kid. Yeah, and so I'm so jealous of your brother here steel his kids, which is crazy because you're the one my high school girlfriend and my firstborn. So Audi, Audi and Beattie are like, hey, you kidnapped our son, and then they're like you kidnapped our kid. But then but then they think about it, they're like, what is it? He's for a second, he's one percent, We're we're lower upper class. What are we gonna do about it? We're is that? No, it was more of like, hey, like, honestly, kids can have a better life. I don't know if it was even that. I think it was more, hey, right now we're on inclusive resort, honest without a kid. Got that kid out. No, like we're a different level. No, because they jumped into it pretty quick and they were like, I don't know if this is for us, and Jurgen was like, I think it's for me, and then they were likely does sound like actually, like now that you say that, like that does sound kind of great. I don't know if it was. I don't know. I don't know, but that's what it seems like. Yeah, that's what a lot of kids are doing these days, letting their uncles kiddennapp them. Oh no, I was saying that, what's the kid gonna do? No, yeah, so he gets a lot of people are letting family members raise their kids so they can go buy tattoos and stuff. Oh yeah, hey it's me again. Thanks for being here for this episode. If you like what we're doing, it does cost us money to do this, and so just think about that. You know, that's it. I'm kidding. No, we have Patreon supporters and it really helps us to make this show possible. Honestly, we're so grateful for everyone who listens to the show. But there's people who want to make more of it happen, and so they financial support the show, and then you get a lot back for it. You get our private discord where we chat every day. We're hanging out and just getting to bond and hang out. We also do live zoom hangouts for a Patreon supporters, you get exclusive merch. It's a good time. There's a lot in it for you and and it's a lot in it for us because we get to know you better. You know, you're not just a number and a stat board or whatever, but you know you're our friends and we appreciate you a lot. So consider doing that. If not, then you can listen to this dumb little ad because that's how we're gonna get money from you. We're gonna leach from you. Either way, we're gonna get paid. We're in this for the cold hard cash. Baby. Anyway, here's an ad. How do they how do they get it? Though? I realized I forgot to put a C T A in mind. Oh yeah, they can text tillan to six six eight sixty six. Thanks Jared. So he starts living with his uncle dad and duncle duncle duncle Yorgan So uncle Daddy Jorgan and then starts raising him and he's like, you're gonna be a lawyer. Lawyers are rich, and so he sends him to law school to be an artist. And he's like that too bad. That's too bad, and so he starts learning law. He's going to law school and all the stuff in Denmark. Yeah, but why is in law school? One day he looks up at the stars and he's like, those are really cool. I love him. I love those stars. And kidnapped the sun. We're going to steal the sun, and space was like, I mean, honestly, like we kind of like that. Without it, I think we could be we could be cruise ship people. Wow, life would be so much better without this stupid son up here in space. Would you let me take your kid? Would I let you take my kid? Yeah? It depends on the kid, all right, let's be honest, like you can't really control what they end up? How long do you have a child before you go? This is not for me, like, you know, like because I remember when I first got my cat. There was a couple of weeks there I was like, I don't like this cat. I think I got to get him out of here. But now statistically it's around six or seven right now. I die for that cat. But that's what I'm saying is how long? How long until? How long until a kid grows on you? You know? Yeah, I've heard it's supposed to be immediately with like evolution and like a like a parent parent respond, But I don't believe that sometimes it might not be. Yeah, not not in the last not in god, six thousand years. Have I ever heard a story? So he he attended law school. Tim doesn't like that joke. He did in law school, all right, and he saw the stars and he was memorized by them. I'll never forget those stars, know me, dude. So he these stars have memorized my heart. So he he he starts kind of like secretively studying the stars. Uncle. He's so mad, dude, He's like, you're studying law? Uh, huh uh huh uh huh. The law is down here, dude, put your back down. What do you do? Tell me a law? Give me, give me any law. Say one law gives them. I was gonna say law of gravity. And so he starts kind of secretively study and Newton laws. Yet I don't think so when did laws? When did Newton do his lass? Sixteen eighty seven, So now like a whole hundred something years before, dude, that's what he He casually just ripped it off too. He's like the law of gravity was like his gravity. They shut up and start start talking about shut up and arrest somebody what you used to do before the cops. That's also what the beginning of every Cops episode in the nineties was, arrest somebody. You ever watched Cops where he runs it's aggressive, like I can't believe they did that stuff, you know. Yeah, So he's so he's studying sure law, but also studying astronomy in his free time as like a hobby. Right, that's fine. Well, Urgan one day was walking down uh a the road another road next to the river, and he sees, you're not gonna believe this. Rolling down the river a body, and as it gets closer, he realizes it is the Danish King Frederick the Second, and Jurgen says, my king, and he jumps in the river and rescues King Frederick from this river. And so what had happened was Frederick had a good night last night, was out and fell down the river in the morning, and you're gonna happened upon him. You're in the morning, finds him in the river and says he is one of us. Now raise him as an Egyptian, right And years later, years later, him and Tycho they used to do chariot racist yea, yeah, yea, yeah, anyway, go ahead. So yeah, he rescued King Frederick from the river, and it was like this huge deal, right because obviously this guy's already a big deal, but then he saves the king. Huge deal. I don't know, pretty convenient. The conspiracy theorists in me goes hate push him in that river, says King Frederick was drunk enough, and then he remember what was happening. He didn't even fall in the river. History is written by the victory. Just dumped a bucket of water on him and was like I said, and he's like, oh my god, there's not even a river in the whole country. I filled the river and everyone's like what river? They got really drunk, got really what and then left him outside and they were like, he's gonna freeze to death. We know what we're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then they made him eat some nails. He's really rude. So he uh, he rescued the king, That's what I was saying that you get what I'm saying. He definitely push him in the river. Well, I don't know, because the way the story ends this is just the king goes, hey, I didn't want to be rescue uses the river. So the way the story ends is he uh gets a fever and he dies because the king no organ uncle daddy, uncle father. Oh, he gets a fever from jumping in the river. From jumping in the river, he gets a fever and he dies, and so that ends up killing it Blackfir. I don't know if I don't know if it was intentional. I think he was genuinely same. He meant to catch a fever. Well, I mean I guess, yeah, I guess he could have done it and been like oh yeah and then been like, shoot, I got sick. That's cad. That's what I'm saying. That's karma. So uncle father dies and uh tycho is the heir, and so he inherits And how old is he now? He's like sixteen, so he inherits everything. Geez, he is just stupid rich. I think about that. How Patrick Mahomes has an insane amount of money. Yeah, and now other professional athletes have had contracts that size, yeah, bigger, but like he's like he's younger than you and me. Yeah, yeah, that's a little insane. Could you imagine? Yeah? I could I do all the time. I think about it. That awakened night, the fact that I am not in the billionaire weird club that they've got, but I am, in fact a road trip person. Yeah I am. I'm someone that they don't recognize as human. Wow. But I think about it every day. Yeah, when I'm looking at the stars. So what's he doing? So he says, he says, I'm going to buy this star? Well, he says money, it's only fifty bucks. Alike, could you believe crazy bought it for my cat? See? He says, forget this lot of stuff. He says, I'm not going to study law anymore. Yeah, Now what I'm going to do instead, because I'm gonna do space stuff. But they don't. I don't think they realize it's space yet. I'm gonna do sky stuff, nighttime sky stuff. Okay, When do they know the Earth's round? I mean, I think they knew the Earth was round already. When did they know the Earth is not the center of the universe. I think they knew already. When do they know? I mean, I don't know. I don't I guess I don't know how the past works. I don't know they knew what they didn't know? Yeah, I mean they knew a lot of stuff at this point. I'll tell you. They knew there was a lot of stars out there, and they had tracked the stars. There wasn't like great telescopes to envision all this stuff yet, so like they could only see so much. Okay, you really could only see stuff with the naked eye. But they had tracked a bunch of paths of stars and figured out where they were moving, and that they do move, and that it's not us that's moving, it's the stars that are moving. Like they knew that for sure. I know they knew that for sure. Because of some of his discoveries everything else. I don't know what they knew. Sure, But so he starts studying that, and he starts studying a couple other things that were like kind of interesting to him. So he went to this university and so he started studying medicine and alchemy and you know, just some random other side interests. Sure, and he's at a party one night. He's now college agent alchemy essentially just like what we would do is like pharmacy. Yeah it's pharmacy. Yeah, alchemy is pharmacy, right, but it's a little more mystical. Yeah, you it's it's pharmacy with black robes instead of white robes. Sure, similar, it's a little witchcraft. It's a little witchcrafty. It's not. It's not not anymore than now itways, So he's in university and he's he's studying. Him and a bunch of friends to a party one night and he starts arguing with this guy about who's the better mathematician, because at the time that was like who's that was like who's the highest, who can bench more. He's like, he's like I can know a lot of math, and he's like, I know more math, And so they are arguing about it, going back and forth for a while, and they can you impress a girl or what? I don't know. I'm I'm who knows. Probably maybe I don't know. And this fight escalates. They both end up in the river. Well it escually, it's the point where they say, let's have a duel. I love it with swords, that's what they have. Yes, no guns yet. When when do people find out about guns? I think they discovered up in like seventeen something, I don't know, sixteen something. They're close, they're soon, they're they're coming, probably after this duel. He goes, man, that would have been greater if if I had a shooting sword, If I had a sword that I could He's like, he's like, think about shooting stars, But if I could do that from a hand, So he invented it. No, So they had this sword duel and he lost, and part of losing meant that in the sword duel, his opponent, the other mathematician, who probably not as good as a mathematician but a better sword fighter, sliced him across the face and give him a nice little scar and his and his brow, and also cut off his nose. Oh, that's why his nose bus. That's that's the nose bus. That's that was his nose. But it wasn't a nose, you know, as a prosthetic. So he had a bronze nose he made and he glued it on his face every couple of weeks. Well that's not in the painting. Yeah, yeah, so it is in this painting. He looks like the burger king king. So he had he had a variety of noses. He cut off his nose. Yeah, so he had a variety of noses. He had a bronze nose. Into the interesting stuff about these people, because for so long he just rambled about Uncle Daddy's and then all of a sudden, you go, bronze. No, I'm sorry, what was that. Yeah, so he didn't have a nose. He had this bronze nose. Okay, he he had an assortment. Actually he regularly wore the bronze was He's got different different noses for different outfits. That makes sense. He had a silver, he had a gold for the special occasions. Sure, he had a wooden one. He had all these different stupid little wooden nose noses for different You need different noses for different things. You know, you go to like a cobbler who makes the noses. I don't know, he's the one percent. He's got a nose guy. He's got a nose guy. I got my nose done. I've got a nose guy who does all my nose stuff. And then I've got a nose guy who just knows a lot of stuff. I just he's very good mathematician. This is like a northern yeah accent for some reason, I get what you're saying. He just knows a lot of stuff. He just knows things. I so in that painting, then, yeah, is this before the duel or did they just paint him with a human nose? I don't know if this was before the duel or if they did him justice. I could not tell you. I don't I don't want to answer that question. Sure, but yeah, so he he uh, he lived his life noseless. Oh cool. It sounds like you're at the end of the episode right now. So no, this is just the beginning. He's living noseless. He now knows a lot about space and stars and science and things like that. Who cares he Actually he does discover a lot of important stuff. I wonder do you think the sun shines off his gold nose, like into his eyes? You know, it's kind of be if it's bright enough. Yeah, probably like a bright day outside. Yeah yeah maybe he maybe he like has a Matt finish on it. Oh yeah, I mean I think I would figure he would figure did he did he create a trend? Did other people do this? Would it become like grills because you got to cut the nose off to do it? I mean I guess other people could have. I mean we probably would know, Like we probably would around this time see a lot of people with little nose things if that was a thing. I think that if I was rich and I had some kind of face deformity, I would pay people to a trend. Yeah. So that way you don't feel weird about it. That way, it just looks like I'm trendy and not and not messed up. Yeah, yeah, that's anyway, that's a that's you know, you can feel comfortable in your skin. But so he he's he's a big figure in science. He discovers a bunch of stuff about space and recalculated a lot of positioning stars and the routes, and it was hugely influential right, Yeah, he actually trained Uh Johannes Kepler. Who you know? Oh yeah, if you know the name Kepler. Yeah, Johanna's fabrics Kepler, Joe Ann's, Joeann's. Hello is this fabric? Excuse me, jos Oh no, I'm looking for Johanna fabric. Bad. Sorry, so dumb. That's a bad joke. They don't call me dumb. Okay, sorry, so stupid. So he he called me four times today. He's a big deal in science, right, who cares. He goes into the woods one day. He leaves the house and he's like, he's like, bye, everybody, I'm going to the woods. Okay. He comes back from the woods after hours out there with I kid you not a full grown elk that he has somehow like domesticated. And he brings this elk. He's like, he's killing elk. You're saying, he's like a leash. Yeah, what's the pet handed in elk? And so he walks back into his house and this elk just lives at home with him and like a dog like will lay in the living room, lives so annoying. Whenever I'm like in bed, right, I get in bed, and my elk runs in and just jumps my chest. It's really frustrating. When I'm sleeping in the my elk is sleeping on the other end of like on the floor, but on the other end of the bed. And then it gets up and his horn gets caught in the sheets and it rips all the sheets up. How big of a house do you have to have for an elk to comfortably live there. I'm glad you asked this. So he had built goods, so that's pretty elky. Remember King Frederick the second Yeah, he said, he said, your uncle father saved my life. And also have I've always really liked you're you're my son. Now No, but he did say, he did say, he said, whatever you want, you can have. He said, I know you already that's kind of already your life because you know you're one percent. But he's like, but now you're point one percent. Now you look down on the one percent, saying, if I knew it was going to bring me those riches, I would push a king in the river. I'll push King Charles in the river. I'll do it. I want to our record right now, most people that I would push King Charles into the river and I might save him if a better I could get this house I try to sell, I'll push it a king in the river. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you like this and you want more of our show, We've got plenty of other episode It's one of my favorites. Is Action Park, a super sketchy theme park that was basically overrun by teenagers and they just made the rules. It was in New Jersey. It was a wild story. But we did a whole episode about it, and I think you'd like it. So when you're done with this one, go check out that episode. But for now, back to this one. So he gave him this house and he said, he said, he said, I'll build whatever you want. So he actually got an island. He built him this island, and here's a skypew of it. So this is an artificial island with walls around it. And then in the middle of his house he's got all these gardens. But then on the corners, you see those two towers. Those are his science facilities. And then the other corners got too in the world was this Do we have this on a map? This doesn't exist still? I don't think so. I don't think it still exists. I don't know if we have an island. I know it exists, right, I know it's in Denmark. I mean maybe would in the island. Still, well, that's palace. This is crazy. Castle of Urania is what it's called castle. Did he discover uranium? He did, know he did it? Uh, okay, here's this. Uh, let's see all of the pictures. Oh, here we go. Hey what it's a subway. Now, didn't work. That's a little island. Oh there, you gotta get to it by boat, and it's just a gigantic subway. All right. I'm gonna be honest with you. I swear everything I've looked at said that this was an island. But I think it's just a land island. Oh yeah, Oh and this looks way smaller, so now I'm very confused. Oh but that's definitely it though. That's the same layout for sure. Go back to your other picture. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, which is interesting though, because this looks very small. Well, I mean, I mean it's it's next to the church. That's well, no, those houses right there, those houses are pretty small, pretty like normal size houses. So I mean, like probably, you know, go back to their picture that that was in the center. I mean, when you really look at it, it's only a three story building though, yeah, you know, and I guess if you look across like it's like, I mean you got one, two, three windows across the main section and then those I mean, it's very very decadent and fancy. But this is massive for the time. That's true, for the time. This is this is Yeah, it's like a like you know, the two thousand and four Ford f one fifty huge two one fifty compared to a good point. You know, that's a good point. It is kind of like if if mister Beast was then this would be the top of the tap ten video. Yeah, I stayed in this hotel, stay in here for and this was how much time is he putting into these videos? How long is he doing those? Is that person to survive in a grocery store for like he's got them happening all at once. There's like he's got like twelve kids trapped in grocery store on the right now, and like three of them don't survive. You can't put that video, you can't put that one out. And he just pays the family. Yeah, yeah, he just pushes the family in the river, one by one. It's for a video. I'll pay you. I love the stars. I'm a big fan of stars. Here's another view of this, but it's a little bit more stylized. But he's got all his science instruments. You can see he's got stuff to look at space around there, and I don't know he does. That's a real thing. It still exists, Yeah, it's it is much less impressive. Honestly, definitely not it was. I swear it was not. Maybe maybe honestly, maybe it dried up. Maybe it wasn't a very deep island, like maybe this was. Maybe they like you think so, because I say, you can see how it's like raised there, like yeah, maybe there's a damn nearby. Maybe they just had a different definition of island. That's also isle of land. Yeah, honestly, that could be water. Yeah, I mean, if your eyes don't work, yeah, I mean, if you're dumb. So anyways, so he builds his big, big palace, and him and him and his elk. He builds a moderately sized palace. Honestly, as far as palace standards go, I would say that's an all exclusive resort. You're right, you're honestly that might be a cruise because even for the time, like like you've seen some of those castles, those ancient castles, I haven't. Oh well here's one for you. What is this? This is I know with his golden nose, but also if he was also merged with his pet elk, yeah weird. So anyways, so him and elk became a big deal in the town. Everybody loved Tycho and his elk, and he would go into town and the elk would trot along his carriage. Next time and then his elk murdered three people close one day. They go to a party and this elk, this elk went to every party with him, and the elk developed a taste for beer, and so at the party, the elk would out drink everybody shut because it's an elk and it can drink a lot more So, at one of these parties, this elk, I kid you not, got blitzed and tripped and fell down a staircase and died and it and it broke Tycho like this was like his favorite thing in the world, like he loved you're saying this elk. I'm sorry, this elk, this elk, I'm not even the elk is not an allegory for something. It's not like, no, this is a literal elk that he got there with. So this elk is drinking at the parties, getting drunk with all the patrons, yes, and then falls down the stairs. It falls down the stairs and dies. So this elk is drinking beer, yes, all right, top top shelf. I mean probably probably the locker behind the shelf. So top shelf. Yeah, alcohol, yeah, okay. Yeah. So you say elk on top shelf and then hate this. Yeah, yeah, elk on the top shelf. Everybody else was bottom shelf. Yeah. And if you touch them, if you touch them, you die. If you touch it, that's a different thing. We should write a book for next year for parents. Yeah, because Elf on the Shelf is a fun idea. Yeah, it's a great idea on like December third, but like by December eighteenth, parents are stressed, dude, huh because they've run out of ideas. Yes, yes, yeah, So we write a book with ideas. Yeah, yeah, and just every year we put out our new Elf on the shelf ideas. Interesting. I think I like where you're going with this. Yeah, I've also discovered something while you were while I was not the into what you were saying. Just now, Okay, look, this is an island. It just is further away from the island. So here's what I think. Here's what I think actually happened. I think he got the whole island, and I think they this is just hills of the island that was his house. I think that's what is going on here. Yeah, you just could not handle being wrong. I couldn't. I had to figure out a way I was still right. Wow, So there we go. I think who knows, or maybe the water level recededse I mean, look at the foundation of his house. I mean, can you zoom in at all or not on this screen? No, I don't think so at least because that's clearly the foundation of the house. Yeah. Yeah, that's really fascinating. Interesting. So he is the elk dies and it was a tragic thing for him because he was close to this elk. Oh. Yeah, And so he started looking to fill the void. And so he's going into the woods every night looking for another elk. Can't find one, but lo and behold in town, there was a local jester that kind of looked like an elf or an elk, kind of like an elk, and he was like, you'll do you? I want you, I want to pet you close. So it was this, It was a It was a guy named Jep and Jep. Jep, Yeah, j e p p jeppiece, Yes, stoo piece Jepe. He was a local. He was a local jester. He was also a dwarf. And he took him in uh and he said, you're now my jester, and so he paid him. Sure, he's not a barbarian, but he ah. Jeff became the elk in his life, and Jep followed him everywhere. Jep told him jokes and he'd be like, he'd be like, oh, we're having a good time, make an elk noise, and Jeff to be like, He's like, that's not that's not even close. He made him wear antlers. All right, good morning, it's time to ride around our island. He's just right handlers. You could carry me around his island. Yeah, okay, third of his size. And so Jep genuinely, I don't know if we don't have any account of what Jeff thinks, but Tycho Tycho and multiple writings of his said that Jep was his best friend. Okay, but we do know Jeff is like, I'm just paid to be here. We do know that he didn't treat Jep great. Okay. For example, he pulled pranks on him all the time, just great practical jokes. Which is best friend stuff, right and the jokes. I mean, it depends on the practical joke. I guess I don't have any record of his prance. I just know he pulled pranks on him all the time. I also know that he he he made him eat under the table. I'm sorry, he said, the table is for me. The elk used to eat under the tables, so you need to to the elks eat under the table. How big is the table? You understand what I'm saying, Like, I don't know if they ALKI under the table. I made that part of all, but he did. He did make Jeff eat under the table, so okay, like a great friend. But he was he said he was his best friend. But you know, sure there's one of those friends where it's like we're really good friends, but honestly, like, hey, will we go to Hawaiian Bros. Later? Yeah, I want you to eat under the table and don't acknowledge it. Once we having a normal conversation. Yeah, and he's sitting under the table. Just yeah, there's a lot of cops there. They'll arrest me for that. I bet they'll think of high We'll see. Yeah, it'll be rough. We'll find out, maybe you'll get taste. You might be onto something here. So Tyco's life continues to be really weird, and he discovers a few more things, has a couple more successes, you know whatever. It's once he discovered sigence stuff like he figures out where the stars move and how they move, he charts them, and sure, he discovers a bunch of stuff. It's really not who cares, he doesn't. He does discover a lot of really important in just in all the weird stuff in his in his life. No, he discovered a lot of stuff about stars in motion and the moon and the way that all that stuff worked together, right, And he trained Kepler, and Kepler was hugely influential. He was also really influential. But Kepler was hugely influential, you know. But Kepler and him had a problem because Tycho wouldn't share his notes, Like he was very secretive about his stuff, and Kepler was like, it's really good as science, like, we got to be able to work on this stuff together, right, And he was like, no, it's my stuff. And he was like, he's like, but we need it. We got to work together. He's like, but noah, it's my stuff. Mind. Well, one day Tycho just ups and up and dies and everybody was like, how old? Let me check how long had rich people live back then? So he was he was fifty four, not seven hundred years. He was fifty four, which I think that I think we were about normal life spans at this point, right, this was a little young. No, we weren't. We were not you were rich, Oh sure, I mean yeah, the pores not even close. But he fifty four was pretty young for a kind of his status. Uh. And it was it was like a surprise, right, it came out of nowhere, and so everybody, I mean, he got drunk stairs. Everybody immediately looked to Kepler and was like, hey, we know you guys have been arguing about some stuff lately, and you want to see his notes, like he did you kill him? And so they were like, Kepler, did you slip him some mercury in his drink? And everyone and he was like no, no, I didn't do that, so they started investigating him, and it turns out he didn't. They didn't figure that out, but okay, they they suspected foul play for decades until everyone was dead and no one cared about it anymore. Yeah, until twenty ten. Twenty ten, they exoomed his body because some people were like, we want to know, we want to see that nose, We want to know what happened. Yes, that that was his nose that they dug up. Oh that was his fake nose. It wasn't a bus yeah, no, that was that was his actual nose that he wore. This is they dug it out. So okay, imagine you don't know. You're just a grave robber. Yeah right, you're just a great rubber. Yeah, you don't know any history. Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, you're digging up graves, just out here doing you're a robber. Yeah, that's what you do, you rob graves. Yes, you're a grave robber. Yes, yeah, thanks, You go to graves, you dig them up, take all the valuables. Problem. So you okay, so he's a great rubber. You dig up this guy's grave. You see a skeleton, yes, and just a full like just what is that made out of This is bronze. It's five hundred years old, so it just looks like stone at this point, honestly, but it's bronze. It's rooky stuff. Yeah that uh you think, Man, this guy's nose survived. That's a magic nose keeping this nose? Should I eat it? What do I do with the What do you do with the magic binding? That's right? So what you do? Okay? So so so they say they exsume his body. Everybody, everybody thought up until twenty ten, they're like, somebody killed him, somebody oft them. So for four hundred something years, we can just we can still tell. Well, and I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't know how they figured this out. Is made up? I don't know. I don't know how they figured this out. But they were able to determine after assuming his body, that he had died from the ghost of his elk, he had died from a bladder infection. And the way I said, okay, I don't rather what they did and what they figured was he was at a party with the king, and tradition said that when you're at anything with the king, you don't stand up before the king, and they're at the party, and the King want to stand up, but he had been drinking a lot and he really had to pee, and so he sat there and he held it and he held it and he held it until he gave himself an infection, and then a couple of weeks later he died, not realizing he was dying from the inside, probably uncomfortable, but not realizing he was. Yeah, and he was dying from the inside. That's pretty creamy. What are you going to do. I'm doing what you're doing. I'm not whispering. You're like, I'm not even close to whispering, and realized this is the true crime segment. Okay, we'll put some music behind it. Okay, cool, but there's no crime. It was just him trying not to pete and embarrass himself. King. That kind of sucks. And so that's a pretty fifteen hundred ways to die fifteen hundred, sixteen o three. At this time, it was pretty sixteen hundred's way to die. Yeah. Yeah, So like fifty years before Newton's third law, yeah or second or first any of them? Eighty law? How long before his new his fig Newtons is I think that was pretty early, so it's probably only like twenty years that that came quick. His figs, he's like, I need to come up with a way to put these in some sort of creative bar. He's like six stupid. So anyways, so yeah, this is that's that's type of bra he had. Uh, Brahi. I think it's Brahi. I really do think it's Brahi. He had a weird nose, a weird elk, a weird best friend that he wasn't very nice to you, and then he died because he had to pee. Well. I also contributed to the science we don't want to tell. Yeah, but there's all that stuff. He figured out some space stuff. You know, we know about some space stuff. He did discover the first nebula, and he was the first person to discover that there were stars that were like further away. Okay, he's like, he's like, to see those stars are stars that are further He was the first one to figure that out. Okay. Yeah, so that's a big deal. He did that with no nos. So if you're listening to this and you're missing a couple of fingers, just look to the stars. If you're listening to this and you're alone inside your bed and it's dark at night and there's a man in your doorway. Enough, it's just my fata obri looking for Have you seen my notes? You gotta go fiddle them off. Hey, thanks for making it to the end of this video. If you like this and you want more episodes, there's more somewhere around here, and also clips from the show. But make sure you subscribe. Please do that. That really helps us. It makes us feel good. We look at the number and we go, oh my gosh, there's more people who like us. And it also just make sure that you don't miss episodes in the future because we put these out every single week and there's so many in the past, so many old episodes you can go watch, and you know, there's an entire season of episodes that we didn't have video for, so you can go listen to those if you'd like to as well. Thanks for being here. We'll see you again next week. On Things I Learned last Night. That's this podcast, right, that's this one. Yeah, that's the one. Thanks on the last night. That's the one. All right, you're free to go. Great


The sixteenth century Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe lived an eccentric life filled with drama, intrigue, and tragedy. Born into a noble family in 1546, Brahe was kidnapped as a child by his wealthy uncle Jørgen Brahe, who wanted him as his heir. Jørgen made Tycho study law, but the young man’s true passion was astronomy. He began secretly studying the … Read More

Tonda Dickerson – A Life Destroyed by Winning the Lottery

01-09-24

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you’re werid.

Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of Tappy new Year? Oh gosh, I can't believe it. It's the we're into January, which means we're just that much closer to my show in February. Uh and also my show in April in uh Chicken Cordon Blue, Idaho. However, you say that town? What did I say? Chore? Look at I'm probably you soon, hopefully. Have you ever heard of Tonda Dickerson. Tonda, Tonda's a real name, Tonda Dickerson, Tonda, Tondadadada, And then I want to watch it quit And then they see it on TV collecting lottery winning and they're like, he's just coming in tomorrow. This does not seem like a jury of your peers, the joy of your enemies. Oh raise a in a jury Miami. Things I learned last night Sondada. Yes, her parents were like, we like to name Ronda and Tnka Trucks. Let's just Donda Tonda. Yep, Tonda a woman. It's a woman. That's a woman. Okay, you know Dickerson Dickerson, Hey, buckle up, because this is your favorite kind of episode? Is it? Is it a heist? No? All right? What do you think it is. I know what it is. It's aliens. No, it's a waffle house episode. Oh for real, Wait for real, for real, this is a waffle episode. Tonda. She sounds like she works at the waffle house. I love it, dude. She sounds like she's back there, bare hand on the grill, just chilling, you know what I'm saying. Like she does it for heat, like my hands are cold, my hands. Have you seen I saw this video yesterday about them explaining their uh there's them, okay, was explaining the way they set their plates for their cooks. Have you ever seen this? It's the most insane thing I've ever seen. You need to look up a video of this. When they so they call out the order, right, yell the order. And I've always been curious, and I'm sure you are too. How do these chefs remember all of this because they get just yelled at NonStop what to make? Yeah, but that's a lot of stuff that's just yelled at them. Well, what they do They yell the order at them. And while they're yelling it, I don't know if you've ever noticed, they're putting a plate down and they're setting stuff on the plate and the position and the items that they set on the plate is the order. And so if they put a packet of face down on the bottom of the plate, it's a standard wafaffle. If they flip it over, then it's like a vanilla waffle. If they put a chocolate chip on it, it's a chocolate chip. And so it's like but if they put the butter at the top, it's scrambled eggs. And so it's like everywhere they place things on the plate is a different symbol for what it is. It's like it's kind of like if they wrote it down code, it's insane. Look it up, look up the by don't they just write it down? I don't know, right, It is very cool and also also it ensures that just no one can just get back there and run the grill. It's true, no one gets Yeah, you can't just put anybody back there. Kyle Kanane is a comedian who's a really funny bit about being Freaky Friday. Uh, because he's like, you know, someone gets you, like if he gets Freaky Friday, and like with with one of those you know, Benny Hannah chefs, He's like, I'm stuck into Benny Hannah trying to figure out a grill. But that guy is on a stage somewhere with just a list of words because like my my my set list, just as podcast Biff young ghosts like that, I know what those mean, but they don't. He doesn't know. But if you got Freaky Friday with a waffle house chef, they're like, don't look like, did you not see that? The butter had a chocolate ship on it? And you're like, there's a tomato and next to the tomato is half a slice of cheese. You don't know. I'm dumb. Sorry, it's the craziest thing I've ever seen. Sorry, I didn't know that your secret language. I told him what to cook on the grill and no one knew. So tada. She was a waffle house waitress. Bro, Should we get should we work at waffle house? Should we go get hired at waffle house? That's a pretty funny bit. It's a really funny bit to have a normal job. Yeah, we sound really out of touch right now. Roll that theme song. Support us on Patreon. Yeah, man, what do you do? You know? I'm just myself here myself. I'm really kind of doing my own thing. Any waits. My shift starts in five minutes. I love it here. My hands feel so much better now. So there's the B twelve's got my skin looking green. I think your skin looks green because you're sticking your hands all over that stove. You wouldn't get it. Yeah, waffle house employees are the only ones to get this. So it's ninety nine, nineteen ninety nine, okay, not eighteen ninety nine. Sure, nineteen ninety nine. She's working at a waffle house in Mobile, Alabama. Oh yeah, I remember Mobile, And there is a they have a regular by the name of Edward Seward. Edward had this little quirk about him where he didn't tip in cash. Instead, he didn't tip in cash. Yeah, instead he tipped with lottery tickets. And this was a big deal because one it's weird obviously. Two the lottery is illegal in Mobile, Alabama, well in all of Alabama, at least in ninety nine. And so he and it was also he's coming over from like Louisiana side then well he was going he was driving to Florida, and so he was driving an hour to Pensacola picking up a literal like booklet of lottery tickets and he would just hold onto those from Oh he lives in Mobile though, yeah, he lives in Mobile, Okay. And then he would he would order and then he would have a lottery ticket, would have a level up. He'd leave an envelope and lady is on your side. Yeah, you get of this, and that's generous of me. Generous of me. Yeah, So he would write their name on it. It'd be even more psychotic if you were like, at the end of the meal, you were like, thank you, here's exact change from a meal, and uh, would you just stand right there for a second. It's a scratch you getting. You didn't want anything today? Sorry? Nothing today? Yeah, your coworker got a Yeah. You never know what's gonna happen. So do you Begela Panga or whatever? Ton Congo. Yeah, he calls her Tanka because he's a jerk. Hey, Tako, name's Tanda. Uh say something to me. So he writes their name on an envelope and has the uh, the lottery ticket in there, and every time he orders, he does it for the whole the whole stepstrum. Everybody gets a lottery ticket, not just one of them. It's so risky because when someone does, everyone at the restaurant wants to cut. Yeah. Yeah, so I know where the story is going. So one Dayanda wins. One day, Tanda is his regular waitress. Normally he goes in, he requests Tanda, someone else gone, and so yeah, one day Tanda's not there, and so he he tips and he's like, he's like, where's Honda. And they're like, oh, she's not in today, and he's like, well, I'll hold on to one for her and I'll give it to her tomorrow. It's the next day. She's in and he gives her the ticket. She serves them, does a whole shift whatever. The end of the shift, she goes some checks because now the lottery was last night, so the winner is already drawn for this. It's a winner ten million dollar jackpot. She won it, and she calls her dad and it's like, hey, I need you. What was the lottery win yesterday? He confirms it and she's like, oh my gosh, I want ten million dollars. And so she and her dad talked it through and they call a financial planner and they set up an LLC called nine mil just kind of sick nine mil LLC, yeah, which is pretty sick. Did you take the LLC out of our Spotify name? I don't know. I did. I did good. I was messing with you and I said when I was why did you put it on to begin with? Well, that was in like cause when you sign up for an account and ask you for all your business information, I just did it like it just added that. I didn't think I was going to add that. It was like, what's the business name? And I put the business name in and then LLC at the end. Yeah. I want to to know we'll be in business. I want to know we meean LLC. We I ain't ll joking Galorean Media company LLC LLC. But Laurie isn't a media company's is it no corporate idio? Yeah? Anyways, none of this is important will cool. And the reason she set up this LLC is she would own forty nine and a half percent of the LC and her family. She split up the other forty nine and a half, so her husband, her parents, her siblings all got cuts of what the company owned, and she collected the lottery innings through the LC. So nine mil got the lottery winnings. Okay, the idea here is everybody can get it and it's not a gift. It's their owners of a company that got it, which is clever. Uh. So she wins this, she goes and collects and everyone else is like, man, tonic quick, can you believe to quit? And then like, I wonder watch she quit and then they see her on TV collecting the lottery winnings and they're like, oh, They're like, oh, she won the She's just coming in tomorrow. They're like, They're like, that's do you give a two weeks notice if you win the lottery? Do you know if you win the lottery, do you still go, Hey, I'm out in two weeks or do you just go you know what, No, I'm gonna It depends who you are, It depends who your boss is, and it depends how much you like your job. I think if if you're like just a super noble person, you probably do it no matter what. If your boss sucks, you're not doing it. But if you love your boss, you're doing it sure. And then if you hate your job, you're not doing it. If you love your job, you might stick around for a couple of weeks. Who knows. It just depends on the situation. Would you do I would stick around for a while. You're just saying that because you know they listen like I, I appreciate my team. I appreciate I want to put them on a spot like that, and I would. I would stick around as long as they need to be on there. You go, there's your LinkedIn. I'll stick around as long as you need me put that on a LinkedIn. Oh I love my team, really grateful for I think that I I can't be in another meeting with you not you could call out I h man, Jared doesn't like it that I'm professional. No, no one likes it that you're professional. Dude. You hang up sometimes I stay back in some of these calls. You hang up, like, guys, that was stupid, wasn't it? And they're all like, yeah, what a freak was that about? Talk like that? And then finally everyone pulls out there freaking they're taking shots and they're like, whoa, Okay, this is a video call. Guys is They're like, they're like, are over, Let's get going, you know, and and then some other guys like you, guys, you want to break free from the rat race? You ever think about what it all? Just rats racing around this little tunken for some cheese. Man, you guys could play the lottery shirt. But the password way to wealth is to use these energy drinks excess, baby jeez. This broadcast is sponsored by Amway. Would you like your life ruined and none of your dreams to actually come true? Would you like to be bait and switched for the next ten years? Would you like to be constantly chasing a carrot? Yeah? And if you're successful, good news, you get to do the bait and switching. Would you like to abuse people? It's all the fun of the toxic church without the spiritual harm. Oh God, be in a youth group without all that god stuff. Amway is a toxic church system without all the gods. So you can follow Jesus and feel good about manipulating others. Yeah, anyway, that's great winds. And then the coworkers are like, hey, like we deserve some of that. Well, they're like, what the heck? Allegedly there's some disagreement, but they're like, allegedly, we had a deal. If any of us won, we would split it across all of us. Because they've been doing this for a while, Like he's been he's a regular. He does this all the time. So they've talked about it and they've all been like, yeah, we went we'll split it. We'll split it with everybody, which sounds like a likely scenario. But Tana was like, I was never part of that deal. Is like, no, I wasn't gonna be a picture of WHOA looks like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can show you. Oh I forgot to put it in my in my presenter, although I've got them all downloaded. But yeah, Tanda was like, I'm I was never gonna do that's She's like, you guys, Tanda is like the you know, week twelve of Big Brother, and she's like, yeah, I mean like that was an alliance, but like it wasn't my final too. That wasn't my for real for real. So this is Tanda. This is a I love it is that Tanda's mom. Is that mam da mom. I'm real listening. Go look it up even to see it. I don't know why this is the picture that they used, but yeah, Tanda is sitting in her dining room, I'm assuming, and that's her son in the background. This is the house she bought after her winnings. I think this is the how she had before. Well, I'm gonna be honest, I don't think she ever got around of buying a house, which we can cover in a second. We'll get into So they the rest of the coworkers are like, we were, we want our piece. So they take her to court. They say, we had a verbal agreement that part of this was our So four of them took her to court and like we all need our share. I mean, they split it five ways. She can have her fifth, we all get our fifth. And this goes to court and they do this whole hearing. It's a long preceding. Her attorney in on record calls them rats, which they cut are these are some waffle house rats? These are just rats. Yeah, so he calls them. He calls them rats, uh, and they go doesn't that doesn't go well with a judge? Well, he said, he said, he said, all of her coworkers are. His direct quote is the rats coming out of the woodwork. And so they do the whole hearing. Whatever it takes the jury forty five minutes to the side that she does need to give them each of their fifths. Oh, I'd be so mad because they had a verbal agreement's so stupid, and so she calls up a different lawyer and she's like, hey, do you think we can get this overturn? We appeal this. Yeah, and he was like, he's like, oh, absolutely, I got you covered. And so he's like, a take is four fifths of what you've learned, and so he he he puts together an appeal and uh, and their appeal what he says is he says, no verbal agreement between any parties is valid when it comes to lottery because the lottery is illegal in Alabama, so that is not valid. And so they don't just discounts her winnings. Well, they said that they don't have any stick to the claim off of her, and she doesn't either though. Defense they ruled okay, yeah, you're right, and so she got to keep the full thing after this. Okay, because of this hearing, I should say too, this is a very important detail. She did not elect to receive the lump sum. She chose the thirty year annuity, which was three hundred seventy five thousand dollars a year, which is not the way to do it. I know some people might say that's the more finance like financial planners will say, Okay, it's stupid. Take the lump sum. It's less money up front, but you do not count you can multiply. Yeah, do not count on the government to pay you at any point. The United States is fall and you're okay, out of your cash. So you're saying, put the lump sum in a high yield savings account. Yeah, yeah, you would get more. Let yourself decide, and yeah, you invest that. You you turn it into more and with a lump sum, if you do the right things with it, you'll end up with way more money in the long run. Anyways, if you take the if you take just that three seventy five a year, you're not you're not taking as that much. Sure, don't, don't do the annuity. It's tempting. That's why they do it, because they can, because they can just stop. Yeah one day. Yeah. Uh so. Anyways, so she's still getting paid on this though she's supposed to still getting paid on this. So this whole thing goes through, they overturn it, and then the original guy who bought the ticket, Edwards Seward comes forward and it's like, well, hey, wait, hold on, hold on a second, I bought that ticket. He's like he's like, he's like, we had a deal that if if you won the lottery, you'd buy me a new gray pickup truck with a strike down the middle of it. And and I wrote that down. Actually I didn't write it down. I had a plate with a little butter upside down and that meant gray truck, one strike. Everyone else, everybody, everybody, he knows that what that means, what that means. Ask any waffle house chef and they will tell you that's what that means. And so she goes to this, she goes, what a jury full of waffle house chefs gotta take a lot of smoke breaks in the middle of every fifteen minutes, every fifteen minutes of court. We're gonna take the judges like again again, really, yeah, yeah I didn't. Last time I was a part of the last smoke was why didn't you well wa in a verbal agreement. Sorry, we're all we're all sharing this pack of marble reds. Yeah, she wouldn't split with us, and now we're all This does not seem like a jury of your peers, the journey of your enemies. That sounds like I think, hold on, hold on, patent pending oh, ray is a high in a Jersey Miami. No, here's patent pending. Great show, game show, cool where I'm on board already. The entire jurny is your biggest enemies you have to win in court against. I like this idea. We can call it a court of thorn and roses. This is we're onto something near pat pat pending tranmark. No, we can call it. Uh, you know, Reagan and I want to go on divorce Court. We'll get divorced, but it's all actors. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty fun, and we will go on divorce court. Now that we're living out in LA We're going to be that physics home in Mount Vernon and everyone's like, I'm sorry, so sorry about the divorce. Yeah, because they all watch Divorce Court. They keep up with it. Dude, everyone a mount and it is just like the TV are it every day? They DVR it now they're they're taking VHS tapes of it. They recorded it on VHS and they watch reruns of Divorcer. They are actually a couple of seasons behind too. Right now they haven't caught up on Deforced. Did you record Divorce Court? Now I'm trying to think of what you'd call that show. I don't know. I don't have any ideas yet. Well I have the brainstorm it, but I like the concept. Hey, thanks for checking out our show. If you like it and you want to support be a part of what we're doing here, you can do that by becoming a patron. What happens there is you get to be in the community. We have a discord with our hosted producers. We have a lot of fun. We're super active in there. Every day. You get access to add free content a week before everybody else, and we have a zoom every month with our patrons. We hang out, we eat pizza, we get to know you a little bit better. It's a blast, and there's a ton of other different bete f It's like merch discounts, birthday messages, things like that that are super cool. If you want to be in that, you can just text Tillan to six six eight sixty six uh and that'll get you right in there. If not, we're just super glad that you're here and thanks for watching our show. Okay, anyways, so Tanda is she goes to court with Edward and then or was that his name? Edward Seward. Edward Seward. That's right. Edward just wants his truck. And so they go to court. They go to court over this, and again she wins. They're like, he does, I don't know you, and you gifted you gifted it to her. There's no like written agreement. It was in Alabama. It's illegal anyways there so this is invalid. So now she's got a lot of enemies and perfect candidate for our show. Hey, remember all the courts you were in. You know who also a perfect candidate for our show. The manager at my apartment cop. I love to put him on the stand. I like I like the idea. I like the idea that people the contestants do not know that is going to be their enemy. Like the contestants come on and then they're like, all right, no lawyers, your verbal argument, yeah, but you're against a real lawyer and the lawyer's good lawyers. Okay. By the end of it, you think you're the Yeah, you're like, shoot, man, I suck. But then then the judge is like, all rise, and then everybody rises in the back like please welcome the jury. And the jury walks in from backstage with the fireworks and everything is that what I've never been to court? And they walk out and then there's the big reveal be called court fronted, court fronted, I like that, or confront court or but anyways, and that's the moment you realize who is the jury? Like, they don't know that they're facing their enemies until that moment. Oh my gosh. I like a spin off of The Bachelor where it's it's all the girls you sent home. You know, that's a good way to spin this show. Yeah, I like that. I like that, and are you looking for love? For you? It's it's still court, but it's all there, the jury, the divorce that you're having from the girl that you chose, and you get to take home. Yeah, it changes the game because now when you're the Bachelor, you got to think about jury management and hold on, what if at the end of The Bachelor, all the girls you send home get to vote on which girl you choose from the final they decide decide they think is the best. Oh my gosh, dude, we should be scummy better. Anyways, patent pending on all of that. Yeah, you can't steal any of that or verbal agreement and that we'll sue your brains out in front of a jury of your enemies. And it's legal in the state of Missouri. So you can't you can't find it, you know, you know it's legal in the state of Missouri. Murder le Basically they went for They were like, you know what, why are actually why are we pretended? We all love it? We forget love it. I'll show you. Come over here, let me show you. You know, my favorite crime is okay, all right, So she's making enemies wherever she goes. Yeah, so, uh, well, it's a bunch of people who want her money, for sure. Yeah. So now as if the money more problems. This is like a two year long thing. She's racked up a lot of uh, lawyer bills, legal bills, and here's the thing. She took to a newity. So she's making three hundred fifty thousand, fifty seven thousand a year. Now she owns and now she owes a lot of money. And that got tied up for a second. So she's still working because she's not at Yeah, she's well, she's working. Interviewed and they're putting plates out with the butter on the left side, and she goes, that's the middle finger. Yeah, you can't. I can't say that out loud. You gotta blurr if you took a picture of it. We got one, We got one. Now they it's like a two year long thing. And there they thought they won the lottery and they're still living like they have n't, yeah, because they're paying so much legal debt. And so the stress of the whole ordeal leads to her and her husband splitting up. Here they are after their divorce court shoot, and uh, what's he doing in this photo? He's okay. It's like, hey, guys, hello, I'm the husband that's leaving. And this is the year ninety. This is two thousand and one. Yeah, so they split up and he in the divorce. He's already had such a rough year. Yeah, in two thousand and one. Look at his hat Chevrolet racing. What happened to two and one in Chevrolet racing. That's a rough year for that guy, because not only is his money tied up, you know, from one lottery d'l Earnhardt died. Did he died in two thousand and one? Bro? One of my buddies here in Kansas City, Dustin Slint's a very funny comedian has a really good joke. Okay, so I mean like they're having a rough time. Yeah. So they get this divorce and he ends up taking half of the winnings. Remember it's an annuity, so that's like one hundred and fifty one thousand a year. Okay, now what he's like one hundred but he's not in the Dutch to the lawyers, No, yeah, no, she is shooting. So now she's making she's bringing in half of what she was bringing in, which is still a very good salary. But it's the salary. It's not this is not a million millions of dollars, right, And uh, it got worse because then the I R S said, oh, hey, remember when you won the lottery and you gifted your family a bunch of money. You didn't pay gift tax on that, so you als two million dollars. So the LLC did not work. Yeah, the IRS figured it out and they're like, you os gift tax on that. And so they're like, that's two million dollars at you os. She has not made two million dollars. And so she goes to court with the I R S and now was paying legal fees for that is trying to figure out, Okay, I can't pay gift tax and we set this up like their owners. They're not it wasn't a gift whatever. That's not a financial advisor though, right, because that's bad advising. That's interesting. I don't know that's the defense I would have taken. It's like you just took the advice of a financial advisor. Yeah, that's an interesting point. I don't know. I don't know what I should contact her and be like, hey, hey, you want to do another lawsuit. We you know, remember the courts that you were what if the jury? What if what if the jury was your ex husband and the judge was that and the judge was Steve Harvey unqualified? But he has a judge. He has a judge show. Is he a judge? He's got a judge show? Is he a judge on the show. He's a judge. But is he allowed to like is he a real judge? So when you go on those shows, you're oh, go ahead, I was talking about staying there. Actors, you like you understand that. I'm saying, like, so judge judy right, Yah, those are real cases sometimes most of the time. Yeah, what they typically do they do is for Doctor Phil as well is like, so we went to the taping of Doctor Phil. Yeah, they filmed two episodes much like what we're doing today. Uh, and one of them is serious and one of us Uh. Okay, anyway, I was honestly I expected you not to notice that. I thought it'd be funny if I just progressively got smaller you didn't notice. I was trying to see that. So anyway, were you at the top earlier? Yeah? Yeah, I thought I was gonna get away with that, all right, So anyway from up here top of Mount Vernon over here. No, So they'll do one episode that's like a serious episode, yeah, and they'll do one that's like this is clickbait you know. Oh yeah yeah yeah. So uh, when you go on Judge Judy with a serious case, you're signing a waiver that is basically like whatever she determines is like, you're giving her whatever that that right is to to make the call on your on your case. Yeah, you're you're settling it even though she's not a judge. She's not a judge. Yeah, so you're you're settling. You're settling right, legally, what's happening is you're settling on a court with a third party. Mediate, Okay, it's you're naming her? Yes, yeah, interesting and so so Steve Harvey can do that because it's the same thing because you're signing a waiver and being like whatever, just honor whatever she decides. So, now, Judge Judy did used to be a real judge. But on the show she's so well, yeah, but she was a real judge, so she she knows some of those judge shows that are courtis actors. You know, we should have Bellie Jane be our judge. We you know, the we cauld actually make that happen, right, Bubby Jane, you know that we could get those people on our show if we want. I think so ya, I don't think so. I know so why because I know how to do that now? Okay, anyways, I live in Hollywood. Let me let me mention this before I forget, before we move on too far. I forgot to show you I know the guy Steve Harvey's mustache every morning. Hey, thanks for checking out with this episode. If you're enjoying this, let me recommend Timothy Dexter. It's one of my favorite episodes, not just because the content's great, but because it was our live episode. We shot that in front of a live audience, just like Doctor Phil. It was awesome. You won't believe anyways, thanks for me here. It's actually there's actually two of them, two of them for each side. Yeah, well I am an understudy too. He just didn't have an understudy, you know. And he's just buyings. He gets a text at lunch. She's like, hold on, sorry, it's just my mom. I was really hoping it was Steve Harvey's assistant. He's at the birth of his child and he gets the text and he's like, honey, I gotta go. Steve needs fulls to come. He's got it in like a concealed carry holster. I'm always backing. Geez. No, I wanted to show you. I forgot to show you this, but I wanted to show you Edward Seward during the court battle. Okay, oh sorry, wrong one? What was that was? That was a picture I took earlier? Yeah, this is us? Look at that how tall I was? Anyways? Yeah, this is Edward Seward walking into his court battle, trying to get his trunk with singles. This is two thousand, the year two thousand. This is like two thousand three. Or two thousand and three. He's severely sunburn. Yeah, he goes a Florida. He's severely sonburn on his chest. And he doesn't he looks like what Alex could look like when he's old. There. He looks like he looks like the kind of guy who would dip in lottery tickets. Yeah, he's got what I would describe as the Beatles haircut. Yeah, it's definitely a Beatles haircut. And these two women next to him look like they're in one of those cult documentaries. Boy, they're like they're both married to him. Yeah, I can see that. I can see that. Anyways, that was the style in early two thousands, was just dressing like you're in a cult. Yeah, that was the thing I saw. I I was listening to a podcast fashion style is called cult Classic. I was listening to a podcast this morning where they talked about the nineties. It was a British podcast, and so they're talking about the nineties and they talked about the two thousands. But in Britain, I guess they we call it the two thousands, right, they called the yachts. He called it the knots. The Knots called the knots he said. It was a very clear end because I scrolled back because I was like, he just called it two thousands, the knots. Oh, well he's not wrong. Then the Naughties? Is that what you just did? You add that? No, because he said he did, he called it? Did he did? Because he said the nineties and then the Naughties. That's what he said. He must not admit to you said the Naughties. Anyways, say from now on it's the Naties. So the r S they she gets them the suit with the r S and the r S says you s gift gift taxi. That's two million dollars. Uh. Well, because did her family get the payouts? Yeah, they did. They're getting their newdies too. She's the one who's not getting the payout, right. Well, she did it for a minute and then well I guess nobody did. For a minute, nobody was getting it, and then she started getting it. So actually I was saying she was getting three hundred seventy five, but that was the full so she was getting forty nine percent of that, and then she split the forty nine percent with her husband after the loss. So he kept his part. Yeah, and he kept his great truck with a stripe, bought it. He bought that right after the court date and drank like Edward was like that much. I wanted that truck. That was the truck I wanted. That was my And he bought a bull guy I had, like a gray bulldozer with a white stripe. Was the words were coming out of my mouth. You stole them from me. You ripped him out from under me. And I'll never forget that. Is that why he moved to California? Are you shopping anyways? The I R S. So they go to She goes to court with the R S, and the r S uh wins. Obviously the IRS never loses in court. That's not possible. Yeah, guys on the inside. Yeah, and so they have a jury of their peers. Judge Judy also owes them money. So yeah, she she starts to do it, and then in the earpiece that they haven't planted in her brain, they said in her brain said remember what U O us right before she read her verdict. Okay, and so she changed her mind and she said, yeah, that was a gift to you, O gift tax but fortunately good news. Well let's take it off every year. Well, no, they said depreciation the economy is down, so it's not worth two million now, it's actually worth seven hundred and fifty thousand. So that's the only gift tax, you know. But still but still, at this point, she's earning half of half of what that was, so it would have been I mean, she's probably taken home like ninety thousand a year right now. So and she owe seven hundred fifty thousand dollars in back taxes now, yeah, for that gift tax. So she doesn't have a pretty bad spot. Uh, gets a job working in wah full house. No, we're going to say it together at the same time on three in yeah, working. Uh, it's a new city near Mobile, Alabama. We'll say it at the same time and see if we can get it sure, three two one Okay, Birmingham Now Biloxi, Mississippi a great place that we've visited. Yeah, and we've also visited Mobile. I visited Mobile too, Yeah, but we visited Biloxi together and we had crawfish and Biloxi that's right, And it was honestly, I didn't really like seafood at the time, and I liked it. The situation is rough, Yeah, bringing in about ninety thousand in this annuity, probably having to give most of that back to the irs in payments for back taxes. So she she gets a job in BOXI, Mississippi as a poker dealer at a casino out there, and one day she's She's like, well, gambling hasn't ruined my life or no, she says. She says, I'm gonna go to work today. So she walks out to her driveway, gets in her car. And she gets in her car and hiding in the back seat is not her ex husband, but her other ex husband, the ex husband before this ex husband, who is like, you never gave me any of that lottery, and she's like, I never got any lottery, and he kidnaps her and he takes her to a secluded swamp and gets into a boat and starts boating out into the swamp with her and is like, you never gave me any lottery, and I'm gonna kill you for it. What And she is trying to figure out what she's gonna do. Her phone starts ringing in her purse and she says, hey, if if I don't answer that, they're gonna know I'm missing. And they're gonna catch you, and he said, and so she's like no. He's like, no, you can't. And she's like, she's like, they're gonna they're gonna find out if I don't know, it's not like so she answered, she goes upside down butter with a chocolate chip on top, and he's like, what did you say to them? I just told them, I just told them what kind of butter plate. I just told him I would like to set my plate. No, so she reaches in her bag and doesn't grab her phone, grabs her gun. Heck, yeah, dude shoots him in the chest. O, my god, and he survives, falls into the swamp though he still lives out there. You could hear him if he's out there. He just says, lottery numbers four eight, none of them have flood You're sinking. But it's like he was. No. He falls up in the swamp. She drives back to shore and she takes him to the hospital and he ends up surviving his wounds. She us charging she takes her to the hospital. She takes him to the hospital. Okay, great, great, Tor axes she would not be in the jury because I mean attempted murder it's a big thing. Is there anybody here who has a reason for not being into this jury. I tried to kill her once jur number six. You can be dismissed. I'm in the public eye. I don't know who you are. So she but she ends up not getting in trouble herself. They wrote the self defense. They said, you're clear, you're not in trouble. I know, that's what I said, what I felt. She didn't catch any charges for that, okay, because they're like that self defense, you're clear. But yeah, the lottery absolutely ruined her life, everything that happened. So what's happened to her today? It's hard to find any information about her now. She's kind of started to live under the radar after, you know, someone try to kill her over the lottery. Sure, but uh she started getting paid out. Yeah, probably, but I mean it's a thirty year payment, so she would be receiving that still. I mean, she's coming close to the end of it, jeez man. But uh, it's not making what she could have should have took the lum sum, should have invested in. Just saying just saying does not financial advice. If you are you need to go invest that in your downstream of people, because the only way to get to the top is to have people underneath. You got to have them below you. Yeah, that's you got to pay people to be below you. Yeah. Yeah, that's how it works. Anyways, the legend says, though to this day, at that waffle house. Oh, if if you go on lottery night, lottery which nice that Wednesdays and Sundays, I think, okay, I think, I don't. I'm pretty sure, but you go on lottery nights and you go out to that specific waffle house on the jukebox while the numbers are being read on the TV. Yeah, the jukebox. It looks you can unplug it. You want unplug the jukebox. There's no stop in it and it plays a little fiddle off. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you liked it, you can subscribe or watch some more episodes or some clips. But then I need to make this like twenty seconds. My producer said it has to be longer, So I'm just gonna keep talking for a little bit. And is this long enough? Connor, Okay, cool? Yeah, thanks for being here.


In 1999, Tanda Dickerson was working as a waitress at a Waffle House in Mobile, Alabama. She had a regular customer named Edward Seward who would tip her and the other waitresses lottery tickets instead of cash. This was a big deal since the lottery was illegal in Alabama at the time. One day, Edward gave Tanda a ticket and … Read More

Killdozer- How a Crazy Man, Marvin Heemeyer, Destroyed a Town

01-02-24

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you’re werid.

All right, all right, put the clown down, man? What's up? Leave that? Put the clown down? In all right? Okay, hey man, have you ever heard of oh wait, happy to Okay? Is that when this episode comes out January third? Great? Yeah, well no January second. Oh that means it's getting closer to my show in Berlin mayor February or in of course. Hold on, hold on, I don't know how to say this. I don't know how to say this place in Idaho. Oh no, I got I got you, I got you, I got Okay, I'm gonna show it up your show. No, I'm looking up your schedule. You don't need to tell me. What's the date? April thirteenth. April thirteenth, Holy Count's way out there. Uh right now, it's getting closer. Cord to Allen, Yeah, Court Cord cor Day, Allen cord Day, Allen Cord Allen. I don't know how to say that cordline. It's probably a Chortlaine chortal. You think it's Chortaline, Yeah, that oe you are chorta laine c o e U r e. Oh No, it's not any c o E you are. That's chored. I think it's chore, cow chore, Dalen Idaho. I think April thirteenth. Yeah, Merlin's Cordoline tord Yeah. Anyways, hey man, have you ever heard of Marvin he Meyer? Marvin he Meyer? Yeah. I don't know if we're saying that one right either, but that's all right, we'll run it. It's Marvin h. C O. E you are e e y e are okay, Marvin he Meyer. You might know him by his uh more infamous title. Uh okay, killdozer. This is not like a typical front loader. This is a beef Boy bulldozer. Beef boy. This is a beef Boy bulldozer. So they were like reinforced so that way they could run trees over, oh gees. Not like big trees, but like trees. I understand there's a reinforced concrete bulldozer hitting your building. I don't know how that could be more clear things I learned last night. I'm sorry. Have you ever heard of him? Murder? No? Okay, kill dozer? Yeah technically no, what does he technically know? Killo sounds like a monster truck. It's more about attempted murderer. Okay, that's actual more attempt all right, So we're We're not like a true crime podcast. We're true almost crime. Yeah, we're dipping our heat. We're in our toes in true crime, the way he dipped his toes and murder fully commit make it okay? But he tried? All right, So this is an attempted murder story. Yes, well, who's the killing allegedly? Allegedly we don't know for sure. If he try to kill somebody with a bulldozer, we don't know. It's allegedly he didn't, though, but it depends who you ask if he tried or not. We don't know for sure. Okay, let's just with a bulldozer. Yeah, let's just tell the story. Oh wait, but before we do, I got these energy drinks today from a guy. There's no way I'm putting that in my body now. He told me from a guy. He said, what do you do? Man? I told him what I do and he's like, that's cool. And I was like, what do you do man? And he's like he's like oh. He's like he's like, I'm just trying not to work too much. And I was like, oh yeah, and I was like and he's like, can you set the scene of where you met this guy? Is this on the street car? I can't. This guy goes, hey, man, now this was at uh Tropical Smoothie Cafe. I was eating lunch and he this is not better. He came up to me. Dropical Smoothie Cafe is the street car of cafe. He came up to me and he asked me about my tattoos. And so we talked about my tattoos. Dude, that's how that's a that's a cult. That's how people are are roping you into MLMs. This is an mL Yeah, so tattoos they do that. He invites you to his house. Yeah, look at look at the logo on the bottom corner. Yeah. Second, he said it. He told me, He told me, Yeah, he told me. A guy offered him a couple of these and he said, oh my gosh, these are the best thing I've ever tasted my life. So, if you're unfamiliar, Amway targets people with tattoos for some reason. This needs a way to start a conversation. But they they will invite you over. You'll think you made a new friend. They're very personable. And then you'll go to their house and they'll have like a whiteboard in their freaking living room and everyone's in business casual attire, and they'll just run you through the pitch. This happen and to me, but it wasn't like at a house. It was that I had known in high school. Was there a topic close? This was okay. It was a guy I knew in high school who we were living in Springfield, and he was like driving from Saint Louis to Oklahoma or whatever. He said, hey, man, I'm passing through Springfield. Let's grab coffee and catch up. And I was like, oh, sure, man, I said, well you start you stopping in Springfield long? I mean it's like it's like a Tuesday night. Yeah. And he's like, no, man, I was passing through tonight and it's already like eight pm. And I was like okay, I said, well sure, he goes yeah, man, that isn't mudhouse downtown open late. Let's just stop there. Let's meet there at like eleven Oh no. And I was like eleven okay, And you know we're we're living at that house. We were staying up till one in the morning anywhere. That's college. So I was like sure, man. So I met him there at eleven pm. Eleven makes me PM. That makes me literally want to make myself throw up. Like if someone invites me to that, I walk in and I go, how even going long? Okay, that's what I do with don't invite me to something, especially at eleven at eleven pm? Yeah. Yeah, So I go to Mudhouse and he starts talking about how his new job is great, and I was like, that's really cool man. He's like, yeah, man, I'm just really hustling out here. And it's an amway pitch at eleven PM on a Tuesday for me I have not talked to in several years. Did you buy in? Now? I threw up all over him. I did exactly what you wanted me to. You learned well. But anyways, Yeah, so this guy, this guy comes up because I love your tattoos, which immediately is like, okay, we talked for a minute. He had tattoos too. I don't want to want I was going to ask which one you wanted to talk for a minute about tattoos. He had a couple of twos. Tell me about what this meant or whatever, and he asked me what mine meant and I said, no, yeah, are you looking at the B twelve? Why is there that much B twelve in here? There's that's the B twelve on twelve bro. I mean like Celsius has a lot of B twelve. I thought this has almost seven times the amount of BE twelve, which is a nutrient that your body can't. Like really, yeah, it's not necessarily for Celsius to have it in there. Yeah it makes a lot of sense. Yeah, yeah, after this will go work out. This is like freaking. This is like opening the Vitamin Sea gummies and eating all of the whole thing. We might see the hat man if we drink this how much caffeine? No, But then then so we talk a little bit about work or whatever, and he and anyways he is, And then the conversation ends with the person from Trouble Smooth Cafe. Oh, it's only one hundred and fourteen milli creams of caffeine, So I mean it's not terrible. Yeah, not terrible. I mean the conversation ends with the person who works there, Tony, walking up and handing him the food because he's a door dasher. Uh. And then so he's like he's like, I'm gonna take this delivery. There is around your pyramid scheme while you're door dashing. That's at the time I met Brian Reaganash. Yeah, no, So I met Brian Reagan at fifty fourth Street. I walk in. He's at a table and I was like, Brian Reagan and we're sitting there chatting. He's very nice and because he had just he's with his manager and they had just done the comedy Club and I was like, I'm a comedian, you know, I was a big fan. You know. We're chitting there chatting or whatever, and he goes, you know, how's comedy going. And I was like, well, I'm I'm doors right now, so pretty good. So, Brian, if you see this, I don't door dasher anymore. I used to be a door dasher who did stand up, you know, and now I'm a stand up who does door dash. Also sell and I have so good also sell things on nanty he said, he said, he's but anyway, so he goes out, jumps his car. I thought he's gone. I go back to watch my video and eating my chicken pesto and he comes back in and he comes back in with these cans and he's like he's like, he's like, hey man, my dasher could wait the person whose food I have, it's gonna they're gonna get it cold because you are going to get these cold all right, They're gonna get some cold ones and you're gonna get yeah, he said, he said, these ones are on me. I hope to see you around. I don't know why it's called excess uh yeah, and he well, it's because of the excess beat. Well there, but yeah, he said, if you're listening and you're like doing the amway thing, I want you to know, I mean full offense, you're he might be the dumbest person they've ever met. He told me. He said, he said, you want to know the best part about these And I was like what He's like, can get them on Amazon, can't get my Walmart. You can only get them from me. And I was like, Oh, that is the best part because I don't know your name and I have no way of contacting you, and I just got to order a lot of door dash and hopes that you're my Dash the desert. Oh thank god. I have spending seven thousand dollars on Hawaiian bros. And bro I got hooked on that hit me with that beat twelve. Let's try them. I hope it's awful. I can taste the be twelve that tastes I taste it. I literally taste the Bee twelve. I mean it does taste like cherry cola, Like, just like cherry cola. How many of these I gotta sell to get a helicopter? I think it says in the claimer on the side he told me he said he went straight to the top. He didn't. He didn't talk to the guy who first gave it to him. He said, I went straight to the board. Six people up there. I'll talk about the guys on the board. I mean, I guess that's the way you gotta do it. If you're in a pyramid scheme, you realize it's a pyramid scheme. You gotta jump, you gotta jump, jump up, and then all of a sudden, like the person who's trying to put you in their downstream, they're in your downstream, and you're like, yeah, thank you so much for doing that. Yeah, thanks appreciate it. Hey, you gotta respect the hustle. Yeah I don't, but you're you gotta. I guess you're supposed to respect them. We're supposed to respect the hustle. I don't so here's to you. What was his name? That's right. I know that your marketing skills were awful. You're really bad at this, hey, and you're gonna fail. But this is pretty tasty, I will admit I do. I'm not against it. I hope I hope this hits. In the middle of this episode, Jane and I are going to go and to I've already had too Celsius today. I don't know how much more B twelve I can take. All right, anyway, so let's talk about barbone. Let's I mean, let's put the Amway logo, can we put here? Let's do a you know we win as well. This podcast is brought to you by Amway. If you want these energy drinks, you're gonna have to find that random door dasher and leave some of Missouri in Blue Springs, Missouri. Maybe just order as much as you can until he shows up. He's out there whenever, whenever they ring the doorbell, just be like, hey, you do Amway and uh And if you would like to flush the money down the toilet, you can go to Amway dot com, sign up, buy a lot of products, give him away for free while you're door dashing and I'm sorry. I'm really trashing this thing. There's there's got to be somebody who listens listened to our podcast who does amway. Yeah, that's fine. I mean it's not a bad drink. I'm kind of enjoying it. Zero sugar, lots of b vitamins, Uncommon Goods dot com. You can't get this. I can't get this there. Okay. So Marvin he Meyer, I'm trying to find a picture of this that I can show you. And you'll understand what I mean by that in a minute. I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to give me a spin on this carpet. It's just so good. I going to sacrifice that beat. Well, I've got to get all this beat twelve. So Marvin his Fred they they had had their eyes. You should show me a picture. Yeah you want to see Marv. Yeah this is Marv he Meyer. I understand what you show me that. Yeah, you know what, he's got a really hot hairline. That's some alpha male, alpha male. So him and him and his him and his friend. They've been eyeing this property in Granby, Colorado this year. This is a good parcel of land. They want that shop on the land, right, Okay, they want to open up, and they weren't sure. They just wanted to invest in that maybe a muffler shop, maybe a welding shop, maybe a car shop, maybe rented out. They don't know sure, So they've been eyeing it. They go the approach the owner, and the owner is like, yeah, you can buy it for one hundred and ten thousand dollars. And this is in nineteen ninety one, and we think that's overpriced. Yeah. They're like nah, and so they wait and then they find out it goes into foreclosure auction. So ninety one, they go up to this foreclosure auction and they said, top line, we want to spend on this sixty five thousand, so if it if it passes that, we won't take it. If it's under that, we'll take it. So they go in. There's one hundred and fifty properties in the Granby area that are in a part of this auction, and so it's going through property after property. Him and his friend are sitting there watching it all happen. This property comes up and they're like, okay, this is our one, this is our bid. They bid forty one dollar. Sure, no, yeah, it goes up. First bid is thirty five k, and so they say one hundred and ten dollars. Looks around the room and like, that guy can't do that. That guy's the owner. He's not allowed to be he's not allowed. Why I want it, please, give it to please? He said, you didn't pay last time. Yeah, but if I'm going to do it now, if I buy now, I can reset reset. They're like, you should pay that one hundred and ten thousand dollars on fixing your voice, you muppet. They really bullied the guy. It's a loophole. The bank still want you to know this secret. The banks don't want you to know these three secrets. One, all right, go ahead. One buy your property back at the auction, and then they can't do anything about it. It's twos. Two you can't give this property from anybody else. You can only get it for me. And three if you talk like this, they have to listen to what you say. They can't tell you to shut up, and if they do, they're breaking I couldn't do it. I was trying to tell you shut up. I Could's against the law. You can't do it. No, So the guy up front beds thirty five thousand, and he's like, he's like, oh, we're gonna Marv. He's like, Oh, we're gonna get this for under what we want, Okay, So he raises it to forty and then the other guy down front stands up on his chair, really escalates the situation. Sure looks back at Marv and then says forty five, and so Marv Marv is like, all right, forty six. No, he goes he goes fifty, which he should have said forty six. He's jumping. They're jumping too high, they're jumping too much. Yeah, So they jump to fifty and then the guy looks at him and he's like, sits down, and Marv gets the property for fifty thousand dollars. The whole auction ends, and the guy up front walks up to him and just choose him out. In front of everyone in this auction house is a guy by the name of Cody do Chef, and Cody he is. He owns a concrete plant in town, and I guess he just wanted to expand his operation to the first place, but he didn't want to spend more than forty five thousand apparently. Yeah, and so he choose out Marv and they kind of get into it and he's like, He's like, dare you take that property out from under me? Like I've been wanting that. I was talking to the owner about picking that up when it came to auction. I've told everyone I wanted there. I wanted it. I wanted it. I want the land, you say her, Yeah, I want the land. The land is sounds like it might be about something else, you know. I think I think you're what else is Tommy Matt about is Cody? I know? But it was a that's a callback to our show. What we have a show? What is this? All right? I remember anything? I was cut off from the beat twelve. I don't remember that bit? Cody? Cody? Can we leave? In the part of this episode where Alex wanted to bail, yeah, I didn't want to bail. I was here the whole time. Seemed like you wanted to bail. Now I've been here for all twenty seven minutes. Hey, thanks for being part of this episode. If you want to he help us do more of this, you want to help us grow our show. One of the easiest and best ways to do that is to join our Patreon it's a way for your financial to support this show, and you get a lot in return. You get access to our discord channel, you get bonus content that comes out, you get exclusive merchandise, and like live Zoom hangouts where we're both just hanging out eating pizza, just getting to know each other. The biggest thing is is we want to know you more as an individual and as a friend. So thanks for supporting our show. If you don't support us financially, we're not pressed about it. We're not like mad, but I'll find you. So text till in the six six eight sixty six to keep yourself from being found, all right, because if you don't, I will want you down. So Cody, Cody and him kind of get into it, but it's like whatever. They the whole thing happens, and Marve blocks away being like, man, that guy sucks, but whatever, Like we got the property, so go to the property and they start kind of scheming plan on what they're going to do with it. Yeah, they really, let's let's paint the building. That just says Cody sucks. Cody sucks, but like a really good page job, like the PA job good. This isn't just like Cody sucks. Sucks. This is this is like freaking this NFL stadium. Yeah, it's beautiful. I wanted to light up at night. It lights up when you drive by. It's got motion sensors. And Cody sucks. You put a little you put a little n f C tag on Cody's car, right, so it only lights up drives no one else and it's so bright and due. He thinks he's crazy because he tells other people go drive by, it'll turn nothing, nothing. When he drives by, it turns off every time. Now you're in his head. You're really going to ruin his life because you're taking his land and potentially someone's taking his wife. You know what I'm saying. We think it seems like he's got some kind of issue going on. Else is happening here, So what do they want to with it? So he uh, pretty much immediately the city contacts him and was like, hey, thanks for buying that property, Glad you got it. Huh, by the way, I can't have it, they said, by the way. So the last owner, the previous owner was in a lot of trouble with us. I know, you get to be a trouble because this is your property. Now, it's your problem now. And so what had happened was, uh, the previous owner, instead of hooking up to the sewer main, uh from that building, he decided to put in a septic tank. But instead of installing a septic tank, he took a concrete mixer truck and took the mixer part and buried it underground and just ran a hose to it. And that was his septic tank. And they were like, that's not allowed, and now it's yours. And since it's on your property, so they're like, yeah, not only can you not use that anymore, but we need you to run a sewer line out to the sewer. The problem with that is the sewermain. How much does it cost to do that? Well, typically the sewer remain's in the street, and so it costs a few thousand dollars to just dig it out and then run it to the street and hook it up to the The problem is with the way this property is laid out. The sewermain is not on the street in front of his It's on the next block over, So they have to go underneath the street. They have to go from this property underneath the street and then underneath the other set of properties and into the sewer. So he got it quoted and it was going to be eighteen thousand dollars to run this new sewer main And they said, also, by the way, you need to talk your neighbors into letting you put an easement in a maintenance'sment in, because that's also required required and you're the one who would be using it, so you have to no one, And they don't say that before you buy the property. No, And they were like, they were like, so, yeah, you need to. This feels like my apartment complex, not the one I live in now. Yeah, it's pretty great, the old one. When I say my apartment complex, you know who I'm free talking about. So Marv is like, well, this is jacked up and I don't want to do that. And he's like, he's like, can you just sell the property? He's like, he calls Cody. He's like, hey, Cody, Cody, I got an idea. Hey for so he says, he says, no, that's ridiculous. I got a septic tank. I've got a solution. I'm going to do that instead. You guys are just stupid, which is a really good course of action to take with the government. It works out really well for them, so he goes He actually gets into a legal battle with the city over this, but he plans to continue using the septic tank, and so in the meantime he's like, he's like, I can't operate a normal business out of it. But he's like, I can't go get the zoned as a boat rental property. And so he splits the unit into three units, puts a big garage door and a normal cycle core, and then he rents it out and pretty immediately gets three people to rent it out, put their boat in, and keep it over there through the winters and stuff like that. And he's like, that cover my mortgage payment on it, or loan payment whatever. He got probably a mortgage, and I was good and while I argued with the city about what was going to happen with my sectic line, okay. And so this became a big issue, and he started to feel like the government was like a good, good old boys club, you know, like the local government, the local government. This town is not like a this is not a big town. Yeah, this is a town of like I don't know, hold on, I'm pulling up the population. Uh, it doesn't even say here. Oh wait two thousand. Okay, So it's like like Mount Vernon size yeah, and uh and it's like a little mountain Mount Vernon. But yeah, it's a little mountain town. US a mountain town where of the mountaineers. Don't name name a mountain near Mount Vernon, you idiot. Yeah, it's not a mountain town. I would to be honest with you. Man, you're wrong. It's a suburb. And told you we started on the summer thing. Uh so uh, he starts getting did you finish this holy count? Not even halfway through mine? Uh? Probert? Can you can you make me blow? Thank you? Crobert? Thanks? Crab crab all right, crab daddy crab dust. Anyway, did we did we call him Crobert in an episode? I was thinking that this morning. I don't know he knows about that. That's his name. You're right, sorryse he knows his name, all right. So, uh, Marv is now in this longgoing dispute with the city council and he feels he feels as though I'm crying right now, all right, Okay, So he feels as though the city council is a group of people who are. Uh, they have a stranglehold on the town because they are because they've lived there the whole life. Like there's there's this one family that owns a construction company. The sons are now running the construction. Yeah. The only reason they're still there is because their grandfather bought like half the land and in the town. And you know, it was there before anybody else. And there's still not a lot of people there. You know. It's that kind of a small town politics, you know. Uh. And he's getting very frustrated dealing with all of it. Finally ends up just saying, forget it, I'm not putting up a muffler shop. Turns that property into a muffler shop, and as I'm using the septic tank, it's fine, it's not a big deal. You can you can deal with it. And so he does this from ninety two until two thousand and three, running eleven years. Yeah, running the muffler business out of there. He's a welder, develops a great reputation as a welder in town. Everyone's like, if you need something welded, he's your guy. This is the guy. He's the only guy in town. But he's also the best guy in town. The guy mysteriously died. It's kind of crazy in a welding accident. Yeah, in a welding They say his body's never been found. I will say a serial killer with a welding mask. Though. It's very scary. So he's he opens up his welding company. He starts doing welds. He is an avid snowmobiler and he develops he builds like this crew snowmobilers that goes out all the time and snowmobiles around town. Not around town, but around like the around around the mountain, around the actual mountain that was there, because it's a real mountain town. Yea, the snowmobiling around. But it's like this is like a snowmobile crew. Like sometimes it's like five or six people that go out, but it was Larkboards of seventy would go out and snowmobile together. And he made these bumpers for everyone snowmobiles. And so he would hook these bumpers on them, which they called it bumpers, but he hooked an extra bumper on them so they were like reinforced so that way they could run trees over. Oh, not like big trees, but like trees. I understand, and just I wasn't thinking they were taken out. You know, I'm not dumb. You know, at least two of them died because they are dumb. You know. They're like, I can hear trees with this, get trees with this thing. Yeah, I bet we can hit each other. Second, when I got my wife or jeep, and she was like, now I can run over parking curbs. And I said, why is it the first thing you said? Thank you? Yet you said, oh my god, I can't wait to hit a lot of curve run stuff over. And so he's he's getting more and more frustrated with the city. I'm getting frustrated with this continually, uh, continually taking him into city council meetings and disagree arguing with him over to the septic thing. And finally two thousand and three, they slap him with a fine, okay for not setting up the tank. And the fine was one hundred dollars a week for the entire period he's been there. So it's a few dollars, yeah, of a fine. And so he had a he actually he wrote this, he wrote the fine and uh, he like did this thing on the check where he put like to the establishment or something like that, like something like this guy really and gave it to them and then they shipped it back and they were like, this check's invalid, and they're like, you have to do it right, and he was like, I forget you guys. So he had to rewrite the check. So him and the town have a bad relationship. That's point number one. Point number two. He opens up this muffler shop, is running the muffler shop, and in ninety nine Cody do Chef it's like, it's time to expand my my concrete batch department or whatever, and so he buys a parcel of land right next door to his muffler shop and is trying to get it zoned to be a concrete batch sure center. Marv thought that this was not okay for a couple of reasons. One, he hates Cody hate him. Two, he thought that the zoning didn't make sense because there's on the other side of the street there's a bunch of hotels, and then on the other side behind him is a neighborhood. And so he said that if they're mixing and making concrete right there, there's going to be a bunch of pollution and noise right there, and he said that's not right for zoning. You can't put it there. And so he started arguing with the city council put him and the city council already have a terribor relationship like this guy again. Yeah, and so he starts going to all the public hearings about it, trying to shoot it down and ends up delaying the I think am I getting into public hearings? Yeah? Yeah, just going, just going, I mean, like what else am I doing? I mean, do you think that's a good usage your time though? Yeah, I mean, like just to go observe and be involved in my local government. Yeah, you know, it sounds like it sounds like when people do that. It does sound like it actually, like, you know, it's beneficial and things happen as a result. I've heard a lot of people in the new neighborhood I live in. Uh, it's pretty great. I think it's going to be pretty good. Uh because it's Montrose up near. And so the Mantros Christmas Parade ends with Santa and a helicopter I'm not joking. Why it's over and there's a car running the parade route with a spotlight. Yeah, that is just shining up on Santa hanging out of a helicopter. That's pretty sick, you know. I mean it's a real person hanging out of a helicopter. That's pretty cool. And so that's the kind of neighborhood I don't. I don't live in that neighborhood. Yes, I mean we do this for you live next to this. Is you're watching my job, you tell me what you think I live. Uh and uh yeah, but interesting, pretty cool. So I'm gonna go to there. You're going to try to be Sanda next year, is what you're saying. Yeah, I'm gonna try to get out to get some inroads and so much. Right now, I'm like, hey, that guy's getting old. So he starts arguing against them in the city council. Yeah, and he actually does delay, Like he brings up some pretty valid points about the knowing about the pollution and so like it does delay things and it forces them to figure some stuff out with the new concrete plant before they can open it. But they do figure it all out, and then the city was like, yeah, now you can do this, and so he opens it up. He builds it, and while they were in construction, he calls Cody, calls Marv and then an opportunity to kind of like let it all through the bridge. Yeah, he calls him and he said, Hey, we're in the middle of construction right now. And he's like, now is the best time. He's like, you guys want to run a Superman through here, Like we can add that on you just cover the cost of labor. And he's like, and all actually is I knew you were on the side of the city, he says. He says, I'll actually go ahead and just throw the easement in and I'll cover that. And so like a really generous offer. Okay, Marv just hangs up on him, doesn't even respond, just hangs up on him. And so that was a that was a really generous offer. Honestly, Yeah, just hangs up on it. All you do is take that Cody sucks thing down. Yeah. All you gotta do is like I I'm not gonna lie. It's blinding me. Every time I drive by. It kind of sucks. Yeah. I gave I actually my son, I he he has my car now. I gave it to him. He just turned sixteen. Yeah, and now every time he drives by, Honestly, it's on his route to school, just sees Cody sucks and you actually changed it and it says your dad sucks. That's so it's pretty Rude's very rude. And the D doesn't light up anymore? Is it your dad or your ad? Your ad sucks? Your ad sucks? And he's just like weird marketing over here. By that, I was thinking of Cody the D and the Cody didn't light up anymore. Just a coy sucksy sucks your dad. You're a sucks. Uh You're like what what You're a sucks sucks? So Cody. So this whole thing, his relationship with Cody's getting more and more strained. His relation the city council is getting more and more strained. Item two atom three. There is a local paper. And when he opened up his muffler shop, the local paper the photographer swung by the the muffler shop and was like, hey, uh, what do you say about like doing a free ad in the paper, like just to be like, hey, we got a new a new business in town. If you guys need any muffler repairs, this is your guy. And he's like that sounds great, like let's do ran it. And then he was like, he's like, all right, I'll come back next week, we can take some photos, we can do an interview, and we'll get you in there. Was like cool. So the guy comes back, nobody's at the muffler shop. So then he's like, I come buy tomorrow, because by tomorrow no one's there. Tries again next week, ches again the next week, and then eventually just gives up Marv from his perfective The guy said hey, I'll put you in this thing, and then never came back. But really, Marv just was never working because there wasn't a lot of work to do at this muffler shop. Of the town of two thousand people, there wasn't a lot of people who needed muffler repairs, so he wasn't around all the time. Yeah, so allegedly he worked two to three days a week. The rest of his time he was snowmobiling, or he's a man after your own heart. He was in his hot tub. So Marv is really mad at the city council, at the city paper, and at Cody do Chef and a bunch of other people in town now too. He just feels like everybody's out to get him, and it's it's boiling, and it's boiling, and it's boiling, and you can probably try to convince yourself that they all conspired together. Yes, and it seems like it because they are all friends. Like it's it's a small town. Everybody knows each other, everybody has grown up together. He's the outsider. He came in from Bolder and bought this property, and so nobody, like nobody there knows him. He knows he knows everybody, and that's sure. Yeah, he just feels he feels on the outs and he spends a lot of time alone in a hot tub thinking, but you know what that does any good? Places. So he he has this idea and he says, I'm gonna intimidate Cody. Cody's got his Cody's got his little concrete plant plant right next door. So he says, I'm gonna intimidate Uh, sure, Cody next door neighbors. And so he goes to California. He goes to California and at an auction he buys this uh and he ships it home and parks it in the driveway. It's a yeah, it's a bulldozer, and it's not like this is not like a typical like front loader. This is a beef boy bulldozer. Beef boy, this is a beef boy bulldozer. Okay, parks it out on the driveway. It's going to be this guy means business is not the bulldozer. Yeah, So he sets it out there a couple of days later, puts a sign on it that says for sale, and it's it's like that for a year, and everyone's like, why did he buy that? Everyone in town's driving buy and they're like why does he have that? Like he's it's a muffler shop. What does he need a bulldozer that big for? And so everyone's very confused about what's going on here. But it's for a year. Yeah, it's sat there for a year, says for sale, right okay. And so a year later, uh, well, I should say after this sits there for a year, he moves it into the building and it's like it is literally like inches of clearance fitting through the garage doors. So he gets up through the garage doors and everyone's like, well, that bulldozer's gone and that bulder and now a whole nother year passes of it being parked inside. This is to intimidate Cody's really getting them. Well, it started out. It started out with it out there intimidating him, and then he moves they're intimidating him. Yeah, he's like intimidating him, shivering in his snowmobile boots. And so he decides, he says, he says, I need to cut my losses, and so he sells the property, sells it for four hundred thousand dollars, which is a huge profit. Yeah, you really cut his losses there. Sells it for four hundred thousand dollars. The next day. The new owner puts in a sewer line and an easement and he but he requests He says, hey, can I for the next year lease out just that unit that I have a bulldozer that I'm using that delivery you get in there something. He's like, I'm working on a project. He's like, could I just keep that least that from you? And they're like this, that's fine. It's like fully, I mean so, so to get into his bulldozer, he's got to like, you've been a really tight parking spot and try to open your car door. You got to be like, it's the unit. The unit isn't that small? The door is that small? The unit is not that small? Cody, better watch out you better? Is he intimidated? Hey? Tell me? Look at him? Is he intimidated? Can you see him? Does he look intimidated? Right now? Does he look? Does he look? I'll scare you right now, Cody, Cody, you gonna knock the bookshelf over. I'm coming for you. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you like this one, We've got a lot of great past episodes that you can check out. One of my recent favorites is Frank Abagneil Junior. It's the dude from the movie Cast Me if you can, and it's the story about how he scammed everybody into a really big scam. There's one scam that's like the scammiest of scams I've ever heard someone scam. So check that one. Uh, it's it's a fun one. I like it a lot. But thanks for being here. No, the unit is not the unit is not small. The unit the door. The unit is small, but the unit has got a lot of space. Okay. And he actually so he started working on this project in there with the bulldozer, but he didn't want anyone to know about it. And so when they got it inspected after they first moved in, was putting like blades and stuff on your well. He put a big old, a big old tarp over the bulldozer to cover it up, and the inspector came in and like what he got there. It's just a project project and they didn't asked to look under it or anything like that building a giant battle bot. So he uh, for the next year, spends a year, and he's a welder, and so he's is he making a giant battle bot. He's reinforcing this bulldozer into this. And what he did is he made it bulletproof. Yeah, so he put he just made a homemade tank. Yeah yeah. So what he did is he he reinforced the entire thing, welded on steel around the entire like body cab of this of this bulldozer, and then he actually took concrete and there's three inches of concrete between that and another layer of steel, and he welded it all together. And he also, uh, there are on every direction there are these little portholes, and the portholes have two inch bulletproof glass on it, and behind their cameras and all those cameras feed into a control room he's got inside with screens. How do you get inside? There is a hatch, but I'll tell you the hatch is difficult to find. And inside he's got a control panel with a bunch of screens. I'll show you these screens. Actually, this is a better view. I'm gonna download these real quick. So he can see everything outside through those cameras. But the cameras have the bulletproof glass. He also installed air compressors with hoses that go out to the portholes, so if they get dirty, he can shoot air over him and clean them off with those air compressors. And so this is inside, so he's got this is two thousand and four. So those were cutting edge TV screens, a bunch of TVs in there, so you can control it from inside. Who's this guy? I don't know who that is. I want to say it's a local police officer or something like that. I'm not sure. He also has on all four directions openings where he's got guns mounted and the gun goes through, but there's no like air or anything like that, so it's not possible to be shot through. But he can have the gun sticking out and move it around outside, so it's completely sealed. But the guy sticks out there's air that can get in though, well he's got he's got it. Like so the gun goes through, yeah, but he can steal well. Yeah, so he installed in an air conditioning unit and it's got, it goes through. He's got this whole piping system so that way, like you can't shoot through the air conditioning unit or anything like that because it's not it's not a one way route, so it like moves through, moves around, so it's not possible. For So he spent the year making a thing that he, in his mind, can just level the town. Is that his plan? So on June fourth, two thousand and four, at two o'clock in the afternoon, broad daylight, THEPM, the tank busts through the walls of the shop because now it's not fitting through the door. Oh yeah, not too big, because I'm gonna get it out there though. So it just busts through the wall of the shop, goes across the street to Cody's concrete batch plant and just starts ramming the whole building and like nailing it, like lifting the bulldozer up and down and like destroying A video of this or anything. Oh, there's lots of video of it. Oh, I'd love to see some. I've got photos. I can show you video maybe in the after the fiddle. Okay, that we've already great, but they he's he's ramming in hurt lifting. Excuse me, I have pain in my cheeks for the beat twelve all that excess. My chick's gotta hurt too, now that you mentioned it opened my mouth kind of sore. It's all the laughter, I'm sure so. And he's he's wrecking this this building. Meanwhile, everybody who works there is like, what is happening right now? And so Cody, it's pretty clear what's happening right now. There's a there's a reinforced concrete bulldozer hitting your building. I don't know how that could be more clear. Cody has a handgun, and Cody just starts shooting at this thing with no effect. Nothing's happening, obviously, this is very re enforced. And so uh, he goes and he gets his bulldozer, which is a significantly smaller bulldozer. It is. It's a normal size word battle this thing right now. Uh, and the song comes down one of those little caterpillar things, and so he goes and he rams uh uh the tank with the bulldozer, and it is so much heavier, Like he tries to lift it with his bulldozer, it actually lifts him his tank, and so he the lift gets caught and starts lifting him backwards, and so he backs up and tries to ram it again and no effect. He's just freaking wrecking his concrete shop right in front of him while he's trying to stop him with the bulldozer. And then uh, his employees they start trying to take metal rods and shove it in the treads to like stop it, break it, and it's just bending and snapping these metal rods. Like this is like a this is a beefcake bulldozer, you know, like it is not There is no backyard bulldozer. This is a serious bulldozer. And uh, the police show up and the police are like, I don't know what I don't know what we should do with this. So the police start shooting at it, but it's not having any effect, and he is just like ignoring all the cops and he's just nailing this building over and over again, backing up and lifting his bulldozer armed and crushing the head leiding. Yeah, after forty five minutes of him just repeatedly ramming this building, he turns around and now there's a lot of cops here just unloading on Well, he turns around and he just runs like full speed towards this barrier. A bunch of cops are hiding behind and they all have to like dive out of the way, and he just destroys this barrier right theft Auto five stars and so he then leaves, uh, leaves the concrete shop, and he goes on this long rampage around town, going to all the people wrong him. The newspaper guy's house. Yeah, so he goes to from here, he goes to the newspaper like the actual office levels the office, goes to town hall levels town hall, going to all the different people's homes of the people who were like in the town council. Goes to the town grocery store, which is owned by the people like one of the guys in the town council, and is literally just going from place to place to place, leveling different spots all around town. And so these are there's a map of everywhere he went. So there's the news station, there is Gambles, which is the local grocery store, the town hall, and the library was one of them. Uh. And then the concrete batch plant was just copycas graphics and printing. Yeah. So anyone who leveled the bank, yeah, anyone who's wronged him in any way. He's going and he's leveling their uh, their building. So pretty quickly the police start getting getting wind of what's going on here. They're like, oh, this is that guy, and they're like, we know everyone he hates, and so they start calling all these places and they're like, you guys need to leave, like you needed like anybody. So he's not hurting anybody. There's debate on whether he wants to hurt anyone or not because when he like shot at Cody, he shot in the bucket of uh of of his bulldozer, and so they're like, did he miss or was he trying to like warn him and be like back off, I'm doing this, I'm gonna do it. Yeah, And so it's are you intimidated now, ad Now He's like, yeah, I am intimidated. Could you please stop? Please stop? Uh? And so he goes from uh uh from building the building, the building, and it's just he everywhere he's going. He's getting debris covered in this thing, and that's why he put those air compressors so it could blow all the bricks in the dust away from his camera views so he can go on his rampage. At one point in the rampage at cop was like, I'm gonna get up there, and ran up and climbed up on top of it and started trying to find the access door, because if I the access door and ends up starting just shooting inside his air conditioning unit. But he had designed the air conditioning unit so that they wouldn't do anything. So then they toss him flash banks. They starts dropping flash bangs down in the air conditioning unit, no effect, and so nothing is working. They are literally at by one point, it is literally a convoy of swat team and cops that are just walking along with this thing, shooting at it, jumping on it, throwing stuff in it, trying to say it's huge, Yeah, it's gigantic. This is not like a little bulldozer. This is this is fifteen feet tall. This is a massive, massive bulldozer and it's just wrecking the town, creating absolute havoc. At one point they go and they get. They call them scrapers. There's a really long for like when they're putting down roads and they're the really long tractors that have that kind of like diagonal scraper in the middle, and they're like, oh, we can stop it with that, and he just pushes it right out of the way and just keeps going, no problem whatsoever. He goes down to this Excel Energy plan and that is a power station that also has a bunch of pro paine tanks, and he parks there and for ten minutes he's trying to shoot the propane tanks, but his design of his tank, he couldn't get the right anglessing. What's significant is that was the one part of this whole event that could have actually been really tragic because the blast ratings. These aren't like home propane tanks. Yeah, these are massive propaine tanks, and they think that that would have leveled like entire blocks of the town if he actually got a shot off, because he was firing in Cyndi area rounds into him, so it would have been a major disaster. But he never got the shot off. Eventually he ditched that, gave up on that and went to Gambles which is where he ended the whole ordeal. At this point, allegedly, and there's some debate whether this is true or not, Allegedly, the National Guard was scrambling and they were sending Apache helicopters to shoot him, shoot him, like with rockets, because they're like, this is a tank. We need to deal with it. Like it's a tank. The police aren't going to be able to stop this thing, right, and so h somehow he started linking coolant and so it is leaking coolant, smoking really bad. He's going to Gambles. He nails Gambles, which is a grocery store, and I guess what he didn't know, what most of the locals didn't know is Gambles had a basement, and so he nails Gambles and it slips into the basement and he obviously gets stuck. He can't get out, and so he's stuck in there, and so the police now create like this perimeter and there. Now he's got to he has to come out. Yeah. Yeah, Well they're like, like, what's he going to do next? Like did he rig it with explosives for a situation like this, Like, what's what's the next step? And he ends up taking his own life, and they hear the shot, and then they spend two days trying to get into it. They finally get into it early in the morning two days later. Where was the hatch? Well there what? Once they got inside, they found that there was a hatch, but it was not like noticeable from the outside. They'd never found it from the outside. What they ended up actually doing is they burnt a hole in the side of it with a yeah, and that's how they got in, and that's how he got the pictures of the inside. And after the whole ordeal, they went through and they like obviously searched his home and they found two hours worth of tapes of him chronicling this whole year long thing of him building this tank and why he was doing it, and who he was targeting and why he was targeting them. So he was doing to get ready with me as I build a war machine. Pretty much get ready with me is I build a war machine to take on my neighbors, and so he to intimidate my name. Well, it's it's pretty sad because if you listen to it, it's very clearly someone who had too much time on his hands and didn't have a lot of friends to talk through this with or did just chose not to talk through it with his friends and like drove himself insane. Yeah, because they forget I'm sure they get progressively crazier. Yeah. Yeah, And by the end he's literally saying, I've been trying to get caught, but I'm not getting caught, and so that must mean that this is a sign from God that this is what I'm supposed to do. Yeah, I'm supposed he just gets progressively. Yeah, He's like, I'm supposed to teach these people less and that they can't behave like this, that they can't treat people like this. They've backed me into a corner. What am I supposed to do now? And he's like, I'm confident that the reason why God never allowed me to be married and never allowed me to start a family was so that way I could fulfill my purpose. And this is my purpose. And yeah, and so he did this. Nobody was injured in the whole event except for him, but a lot of property damage, A lot of property damage. Yeah, it was the total damage. I don't know what the let's see if I can check on that. But he Uh, when I was single and couldn't find anybody to date me. I also thought, I was like, maybe God's got another purpose for me, and I'm supposed to bull doze this time? Does this whole it's Mountain Town God Reagan came home, you know. Uh so uh he the town. They obviously seized the thing, and they said, we don't want anyone to like take souvenirs or anything of it, so they disassembled it and dispersed it to a bunch of different scrap yards, which was interesting to me. I don't know, I mean, I I kind of I guess I see the motivation, but at the same time, like it's a cool bulldozer. You're the reason save the bulldozer. Exactly why they did cool bulldozer. So the damage of the whole thing was estimated to be around seven million, Yeah, two million of which was that concrete plant which was under insured, so they only got a payout of seven hundred thousand. Oh so they just kind of stomached one point three million and loss off that. So it was a major, major event. It was televised all over at least uh the state of Colorado and definitely the nation. Uh. And he got his just I guess kind of. That's the kill dozer. They nicknamed it the kill dozer even though nobody was killed by it, but it it does. It was pretty killer. I mean, this is it. I mean it's a big dozer. I mean, and you never know when someone's just going to do that, you know, Yeah, I mean he was. He was for a year. They're just working on it, like that is a determination, Like it's one thing they'll be like, oh man, I want to punch. Is there anything you spent a year on, like in general, or like anything crazy, I know, just anything you've like you're like, I've worked on this for like a year. I mean yeah, like my career, this podcast stupid I'm talking about like you know, I mean, I've put so many years into Rundscape and like some model train sets. Oh, I guess I have done that with city skylines. I've built radio. Yeah yeah, I don't know what else. Oh there is that bulldozer that wow. Yeah, it's like armored, reinforced, got some gun holes in it. Its excess something, excess energy, the best energy, drink killer and taste, the good thing, the best thing about it. You can only get it from that one door dasher you know what Jesus says, I am way. I didn't know a way it was a Christian company, it is. Yeah, amway, give them ten percent of your income. Oh yikes. Anyways, so yeah, that's the story of u pe Meyer the kill Dozer. Sorry, we talked for seventeen minutes before we got to the good story. That's it was pretty good. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you liked it, you can subscribe or watch some more episodes or some clips. But then I need to make this like twenty seconds. My producer said it has to be longer, so I'm just gonna keep talking for a little bit and is this long enough? Connor Okay? Cool? Yeah, thanks for being here.)

delete quotes and re-add them

In the quiet mountain town of Granby, Colorado, a man named Marvin Heemeyer became increasingly frustrated with the local government over zoning disputes related to some properties he owned. After over a decade of clashes, he hatched a disturbing plan for revenge. In 1992, Heemeyer purchased a parcel of land in Granby with the intention of opening up a muffler … Read More

DD Palmer – The Con Man That Founded Chiropractic

12-26-23

Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey man, what's up? Oh what happened? We got wrong? Oh gosh, they took the walls. They took the walls. They replaced him with worldly gray. It's called worldly gray. Yeah, these walls are so great. It's worldly it is. You're stuck on that walls. No, it's just the colors are currently using. We walked in this room and Jared was like, this, this is worldly gray, and I hated him. I hated them for being able to see this gray. No, no, it's just because we just moved out of my apartment. No, you did it. Okay, we're moving out of my apartment tomorrow. Sure. No, No, it's it's December twenty sixth Oh. We moved out our apartment long time ago. Sorry my bad. But we had to repaint the walls because we had our old studio in there with the blue walls and all that stuff. And so we repainted. And it's worldly gray. And this is the color that all the apartments are currently using. Yeah. I don't know why, because it's worldly. They're secular apartments, that's right, because landlords are full of sin. Anyway, the only lord in my life, the only lord that I lord of my heart, my heart lord. As for me in my house, we will serve our landlord. I pay rent to God. Oh, I tied every month. I like, I like nine to my landlord. What did you say? Nine? Okay, it's my income, is it? Yeah? I mean that's what it is. That's what No give it. Like a couple more months, I'll be homeless. Won't take long at all. I grew up next to a dog food I'm not joking. My town smelled like dog food. There was no factory. I know. I didn't know why. I mean, Pepsy's never gonna sponsor us. But if they thought about it, and he made a lot of fun on the ship. Things I learned last night. All right, anyways, have you heard of D. D. Palmer? D D. Palmer? Yeah? Oh, do you know what I'm thinking? Actually, no, here's what's interesting. Here's what's interesting about Okay about that? What? Okay? D D. Palmer is our topic for today. But D D had a son BJ, and then it's not far off to say b J I might have had a daughter Kiki. Okay, so this could be the same lineage. Alright, I don't know, most likely not I would be surprised. But all I'm saying, is the abbreviations. I do not know this man. Yeah, DeeDee Palmer, I apologize to this man, and I do not know Daniel David Is his name, Daniel David Palmer went by DDE. He was born in eighteen, which is what you call the grandma who doesn't want to be called grandma? You know what I'm saying. Where she's like, you know, because a lot because he's what happens. A lot of these teen moms don't realize that they're going to be a grandmother when they're forty seven years old, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, And then they're like, I'll stop crying like that. Oh, shut I say that in public. Were in the apple Bee's right now, you can't say that out loud. And they're like, grandma, and they go, how about they're still flirting with the waiters? Yeah, I guess is that something your grandma did when you were growing up? She took you to apple Bees and that she still flirts with the okay to be there. My grandma is single. Why are you saying grandma? Is that what you're called grandma? Grandma? Grandma? What do you say? I say, Grandma, grandma, grandma grandma. Yeah, I don't say that. In the ND you say grandma grandma, like Shama Maryma, grandma grandma. Yeah, I'm gonna call grandma grandma. Speaking of Shama, we have a show on February second, Berlin and Maryland. Just trying to I just gotta plug toward dates. As what my managers said. The manager said, every time you record a podcast, you have to plug these dates. Yeah, but your short your shows aren't public, are they? That one is? I'm talking a show on February twenty third, allegedly. Have I got anything to do with it? Uh? So? D D. Paud is straight up like what, Yeah, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah? Have you have you in brediscussed what you want your grandkids to call you? No, we're so far from that. Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean you guys. You guys are not even close to youchildren yet. Yeah. No, yeah, yeah, I'm saying, but like I've thought about it, what do you want your grandchildren to you? Have I told you this? What do you want your children to call you? You're skipping a generation. No, I want to be dad for sure. Mom. Yeah, okay, that's normal. But when my grandkids are around Papa. No, I'm going to go by grandma, and Reagan's gonna go by Grandpa. I think that's freaking funny if I'm grandma. But you started young enough to where it's that's what I'm saying. They don't know. You know what I'm saying. I want to go my grandma and Sugar my grandpa. They're at their friend's house. Yeah, Grandma, gran baby. Yes, you see what I'm saying. It's setting my kids up to get bullied. I'm setting my grandkids up to get bullied, and then their grandma is so offended, offended because at that time, it's like twenty fifty, the walk mob has infiltrated the olds, you know, and so I'm going to get my grandkids handsel for mis gendering their friends grandparents. That is insane. That is crazy person behavior. Yeah. No, this guy is Axley Pod called me grandpa. That's gonna be their names in the future of something. Paxley Pod, I don't know, something stupid, so like called me grandpa. Oh my gosh, h No, we're did we even acknowledge that we're in a new studio? Yeah, you went, oh, we got it robbed or whatever. But did we say what's happening. We're still working on it it Yeah, well yeah, it's a we talked about world of Gray. It is a it's a new room that we're in. Yeah, and uh, eventually it'll look better, which is what I've told everyone about my body for ten years. Better. Yeah, that's what I tell my financial planner to. My business managers were like, hey, you lied to us when we started this relationship. And I was like, yeah, but you said a contract, So like we're yeah, but we're in No. Eventually this will we'll decorate this and make it look We'll put like a you know, poster up or something. Yeah. Yeah, but we could only do that if you support us a Patreon that Actually I was gonna say, like this is this whole thing that this whole move and the last move you know, we've we started in my apartment dining room, We moved to a bedroom, apart, started in a space. Oh I mean like as far as like video. Sorry, we started in a recording studio. Then we moved to my apartment dining room, got video, got Alex moved into the bedroom of one of my That was a big move. Yeah, and then we got an actual part, like an actual studio, and then now we are in a different studio and all those jumps have only been like possible because of our Patreon supporters. So thank you, Flick sincerely. What's wild is we've had some feedback about Jared's move. Jarren lives in Los Angeles and a lot of people were concerned about this show. Yeah, what's going to happen with his liberal slant? Now? Okay, like because now because Tim's gonna be talking about his gas stoves and Jared's gonna come out here talking about electric vehicles the whole time, and it's like, oh, shoot, is this going to devolve? And it's got guys, don't worry, all right. All I'm saying is trying to take my stuff. Give it like a couple more months, I'll be homeless. Won't take long at all, long at all in California. No, But it's pretty wild, and it really is thanks to our patrons that were able to continue doing the show. Yeah while you live in a whole different state. I mean, we need more patrons because I don't want to fly spirit anymore, like I want to fly like a good airline. Yeah. But make Frontier at least, you know, every every Spirit flight increases the likelihood of Jared not making it back for a shoot, So support us on Patriots could live. Yeah, anyways, this episode is brought to you by Spirit, and then when you see Jared in first class on Delta, you'll be like, I did that with my Patreon dollars tie, you know, and I'm like, I hate the freaking That's It's like when rich people do the whole like donate to this cause, and it's like, hey, man, we see your house, why don't you donate to the cause. Yeah. It's the good thing though, is you don't own a home yet, so we've got some time. I do worry about this sometimes. Is that because I have I don't have like a massive online following, I have a I have a decent sized one, right, Yeah, And people think that that means I may right, and I need to be very clear that that is not the case. It's not. Yeah, if you look at the which I feel like, you know, I feel like you know when you're look at me, No, buddy, you don't. We know you're not rich, I know, but I feel like sometimes some of you are assuming I'm you know, I'm still in my twenty seventeen Honda Civic, you know, and I'm in my two thousand and three Honda Civic. Yeah. No, no, no, I'm better than I'm doing better than Tim. I'll be clear about that. Well, let's be clear. I own a home as a home owner. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, Uh so DeeDee Palmer, DeeDee Palmer was a guy who was born in Canada in eighteen forty five, lived there with his parents, Thomas and Catherine for a little bit, and then they moved to what years he born eighteen forty five? And you think he could possibly be Kiki Palmer's grandfather. Yeah, at the timeline. Here's the thing, you don't know who Palmer is. If if d D Palmer we did to have children until he was like eighty Okay, I see what saying. And then then BJ waiting BJ waited. Yeah. So then they moved. They moved to uh, Davenport, Iowa. Okay, is that on the border. That's a place that exists, Davenport, Iowa. Is that on the border in the middle? Is in the middle, which one is on the border. There's a town on the border, Sioux Falls. Maybe that one it's on the border with Illinois, Illinois side. No, you're talking about I don't know Iowa very well, Davenport, Davenport, it's ill I don't know, dude. If only we had a way to find out. I've got his uh whatever you call this, his Wikipedia page up in front of me, but I don't see it. Yeah, Davenport is on the other side over there. Yeah, it's on the Okay, I was right, you mean, okay, so he moved. I don't know stuff, dude. He moved to Davenport, Iowa, and finished out his childhood there. I was confusing. I went Davenport and Cedar rapids, Cedar rapid rapids in the middle. Here's a fun fact about Cedar Rapids Iowa is that they have uh, the Captain Crunch factory there. It's like a Quaker factory. And so the whole town smells like strawberries. It's like legitimately strawberry like legitimately, it's magical, interesting, like it smells like the wild berries from Captain Crunch over That's nice. I grew up next to a dog food I'm not joking. My town smelled like dog food. That was there was no factory I didn't know. I didn't know why. Yeah, I mean because I was out there dumping dog food in the river all day. It was very expensive, hobby. Why are you doing that? I don't know, man, I'm just throwing bikes in the river. Dude. Okay, it's not whitest kids, you know, Dude, No whitest kids I know is me right now. I didn't know we were going to film. I didn't know you'd be able to see my legs. Look at those in this new studios. Look, it's November. Sorry, it's December. So he grows up, and then he works at a grocery store, does a couple of their odd jobs here and there, and then he gets into magnetic healing. Have you hover? Cool? Here's another great thing about this new studio. In the closet, we can't even see him anymore. He shut the door. He's in a completely different room. This is awful. Oh man. People have been comedy better episodes ever, a little more off the rails lately. And I don't care. I don't get it or better that way ever since I'm rich now, I don't care. I don't care about your poor time. Okay, Okay, is a Dede Bomber. He gets in a magnetic healing. Have you seen this? It's a toy. Okay, So anyway he grows up Damnport, Iowa, And okay, this studio is pretty good. He gets in a magnetic healing. Okay, have you seen this? No, you know you haven't seen this. It was a big thing in the eighteen hundreds, like mid eighteen magnets, wohild just heal you of all. Just kind of rub some magnets over your joints and stuff. And I've seen the thing where you hold to like, yeah, that comes from it communicate with ghosts or whatever. I don't think it's ghosts. I think it is. Yeah, you're supposed to ab to communicate with the people in the afterlife. Well, it's like it is. There are some remnants of this. There are those those risk things that you wear that's supposed to be arthritis, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, and they get magnets on both sides. So we actually have one of those for Reagan's carcingness. Yeah. There, it works great. There are I mean interesting thing works great. It's an interesting thing because there are certain things in it that tim It works great. It works great. Go to tillan dot com slash magnetic bracelet thing is, here's the thing that here's the thing that works about that. That company is there bracelets and their depositing money into my account. Both those things work perfect. So great. Uh No, so there's some there's some conflict if it's real science or not. Like chiropractors. Yeah, so they do h they do. There's the magnets that go under risk what we still have. And then there's kind of like honestly kind of similar to what Supplement Superstore has, like things that you can hold that like senden magnetic waves through you. They don't do that. What do you think is doing? Dude? Blue springs as too, they have magnetic waves through you. Yeah, he said, here, put this, put this piece of metal on your back. You're joking, right, and then I'm gonna hold this other magnet up to your chest and that's how much. That's how I'll know how much you weigh. You're joking. No, I'm serious? Are you serious? They do not do that at yours. They put something on your shoulder back, you take your feet off, you stand on the thing, and then yeah, you hold the field. Yeah, yeah, is that the new magnets through your body. I don't know. I asked him one time. I was like, what does this do? And he's like, I don't know. They have no idea. Yeah. I don't ask him too any questions. They just sell your supplements. Yeah, I mean huge. Now though it worked, They're like, it will be seventy dollars. I trust them. No. So so that like is the magnetic thing. But early it was literally just magnets that you would hold and then they would just kind of like wave magnets around you. And they were supposed to help with blood circulation, which in theory, like there's iron in your blood, so like, in theory you can magnetize the iron and circulate a little bit better, but it's been proven that that's not how that works. And then a bunch of other random stuff, like you it was kind of a panacea type thing. I was like, oh, you feel you've got headaches, let me rub some magnets on your forehead and you'll feel better. And so he did that type of stuff, and it pretty quickly became something where even back then people were like, this seems bogus, and also, this doesn't work. I think it was more of this doesn't work, Like it wasn't like that looks weird and seems bogus. It was like, this isn't working. And yeah, the people who were doing it were kind of like scammy people, and so people pretty quickly were like, oh, this is snake oil, because snake oil was also happening at the time, and so they picked up on it pretty quickly. Yeah, till a Dot cops snake I mean, honestly, do you think we just try to sell it. We could sell some essential oils and call it snake oil. We just make them. It's just vegetable oil that we might be on something, and it's kind of like, you know what you're buying, you know, you know it's a joke. Yeah, and if we charged seventy five dollars for it. That's the thing with gag gifts. It's like people buy that stuff knowing it's fake, but people buy it. I mean, if you would buy it, leave us a con and then we'll put it on the store. That way, Jared can stop finding Spirit Airlines. How did you get here in first class? Mister Myers Diamond Medallion member. Uh, I'm going to tell you something. I'm joking but I'm a snake oil salesman, real snake. I'm a mean like, but we moved. You're taking a bunch of people know they know well, they know it's snake. They know it's a joke. They think it's they do it for the bit. They're people have made me rich for the joke is that my life is a long cons They know it's not fraudulent because i'm They're like, you have to account for your billions of dollars and I'm like, it's it's a joke. Everybody knows it's a joke. People can't take a freaking joke these days. Joe, he committed tax fraud. It was a Joe. If I tell you, it's a bit from the beginning law. I sent the I R S some jumbled up headphones and I said, you untangle them, you fraudulent corpse of a person, and uh. And then they said this is this is illegal. You have to pay your taxes on your snake oil stuff. Anyway, So d D sets up a whole practice doing this, the whole medical practice and taving ports magnetic killing people and it's going decently well. Did he create chiropractic care, No, he didn't create anything. He created magnetism. Okay, Well he didn't even create magism. He practiced magnetism. Okay, so he's doing magnetism on people and he's got his little practice. His janitor had a janitor who was deaf from birth or not from birth, from an accident. He was in an accident and deafened him. Is that the way you say that? Okay, he's in an accident and he lost his hearing as a result of the accident. Deafened. I think that's what you say if you're if you're listening to this and you're deaf, could you let us know you did? Not like that? Joe I immediately winced. Yeah, I think it's deafened. Yeah, definite. Anyway, it's definitely definite. All right. Uh So his his, uh, his janitor was deaf. I believe his name is Leland. I believe, And don't call me on that, but I believe we'll call him Leland for now. Leland uh was deaf and uh. They had developed a pretty good relationship, like he worked for for years, and one day they were just kind of talking about it and he's like, well, do you mind if I just kind of take a look at you, and he was like, what do you mean talk? You might take a look at you now. He's like, he's like, sure, you're the doctor, like you whatever? Fine and so, but he couldn't say to me, had to write it on a board. Do you mind if I take a look at you? He probably relives. He goes, you are right now? Do you mind look at you? He hasn't opened you have to respond, I can't I can't see respond dumb, So he says yes. The doctor opens his eyes for the first time in the relationship. Oh, I pictured he was blonde. I thought you were way different. And when you said grandpa, I thought, that's on me though, just sorry, do you really a greem? I assumed. I'm sorry, that's on me. I know it's only eighteen sixty seven, but I would like to be more progressive than that. That's on me. Sorry, that's on me. Sorry me rite that that's on me. Yeah you do. I need to close my eyes again. So he kind of looks he's doing his magnetic thing on him. Whatever, Okay, you realize he's got his big bump in his neck, and so he just gives him. He's like, he's like he's like, could I try to like pop that out? He did create chiropractic, Yeah, I just did like the cheaper field did some Sorry, I knew that chiropractors was wasn't invented in Iowa. So he he pops his neck and he could hear the okay, go ahead. Yeah, So he pops his neck and they just kind of go on their way, and then over the course of a couple days is the guy's like, oh I heard something today and he's like he's like, did you really And he's like yeah, He's like, let's try it again. He pops his neck again, and then over time, eventually he begins to be able to hear again. Ohly, the guy had in his accident, like there was some swelling in his neck or something that pinched the nerve and that was something that signal in his brain, and so whenever they popped his neck he was able to hear again. I can't believe I made fun of chiropractors earlier. We're doing this. That's funny, okay, And so when this worked, Dede was like, Oh, I'm gonna be so freaking rich. So the way that my chiropractor tells this story, yeah, I'm interested to hear this because I should say, actually, I have seen six different accounts of this story. This is the one that I've seen repeated the most, so I think this is the real one. But I have seen this story very very different. Well, the way my chiropractor tells it is it was a deaf guy who he popped his neck. It was his He even tells you which one it was. And then and he said he could hear so well he could he he told he told Dede Palmer, I guess which I didn't recognize the name of the beginning, but he says that I could hear the rickets on the carriage outside. And so every time we go to the chiropractor, we'd leave and my chiropractory, he's a nice guy and he just knows a lot, yeah, like about chiropractic. Yes, and he just like he's very I wouldn't say socially acre, he's just he's the kind of guy that he doesn't want to talk about anything, and he's not passionate about yeah. Yeah, And so you know you're like, hey, you know, what are you doing this week? Just seeing some family in New Jersey? Yeah, Okay, So I was just wondering, like, how does this work? I'm glad you asked, uh so? And then you talked to him and he's like going, and he's got all these he has like drawings and stuff, and he shows pulls out his craft. So every time we leave, he really does though. And every time we leave, I always just look at Ray and I go. I can hear the rickits on that carriage over there. Over there, there's no carriage. Yeah, I can hear it miles away. It's a far away. It's a really far away. Carriage is so far? Is there a community somewhere? That carriage is seventy miles and seventy years in the past, and I can hear it. I hear the Amish. I know they're around here. I hear some Amish. Hey, do you guys hear Abish around That's a great thing to say at next party around here? Oh, do you guys know where the Amish are? Do you guys know what I've been looking for? The Amish. I've been here for Let's get this nice started. Let's find some Hoish your next La gathering. You guess the obviously, I've been here for a couple of months now, where are your amish? Where are your abish? Like, surely you guys have some just ultraconservative people who have no technology somewhere around here, right right. You're enjoying it, and you're enjoying Tillan. You've been around for a little bit. I want to invite you to be a part of our patreon. We have a patreon that has early access to all of our episodes, add free content both audio and video. We have a discord with our host and producers. That's a ton of fun getting to hang out with all of our patrons in there. We also do once a month now we do these live streams with our patrons. We hang out, we get to know each other, we eat pizza. It's a blast, along with a bunch of other benefits like merch discounts, message on your birthday, like fun stuff. It's definitely worth it. We're having a blast with our patrons. But if that doesn't sound like something for you, they get that heck out of here. Just kidding, No, we love you, thanks for checking out Tilling podcast. They how do they get it? Though? I realized I forgot to put a CTA in mind. Oh dad, you're doing Yeah? They can text tillan the six six eight sixty six. Thanks Jar, all right anyway, Yeah, so he he discovers this thing and he starts practicing it to specifically restore hearing. So deaf people start traveling from around the world to see this guy's office in Davenport, Iowa. He gives him a tour and then he cracks their necks. Yeah, closed, and he's like, can I look at you? Can I look at you? He's like, oh, I just I'm sorry. I thought you were a grandpa. You're so pretty, You're so pretty. So he starts doing this and the deaf community from around the world start showing up in his office to get fixed, and it's not working. Uh and uh. So he realizes, oh, this doesn't cure hearing, but it does, like it is like good still for stuff, okay, because I mean, let's be honest, like a lot of people are short up, like we're hearing. But I like you, but I gotta be honest with you. It cures me. It's satisfied. I haven't had meaning in three decades. One day this is going to be called asm on TikTok. Yeah, one day we'll have these things called microphones and people will come from everywhere to listen to the sounds, and kids on TikTok will make fun of it. Is so he he starts doing the kids on TikTok to make fun of our podcast. That's the only way this thing's going to grow. I think you're onto something. Yeah, you should hire a bunch of them to make fun of us whatever. All right, Hey, if you're looking for a job, here's how I get to make fun of us. Ready, Okay. Everything that gen Z makes fun about millennials on TikTok is like stuff that they're like, they make fun of us for like the sleigh all day and it's coffee time. I think, isn't that gen X and millennials? Every millennial I know that does that stuff, doesn't making fun of Ironically, we're making fun of someone else, but we just do it so well that gen Z is like, oh, we're making fun of millennials and you're like, no, we no, we're better than you. We were making fun we were making fun of them. We just were funny and you're not. Yeah, you are much more make funable. This sounds like the segment that we recorded after we were like, let's get them to make fun of us, you idiots, dummies. Let's find something you can make you got played. Yeah, that'll be fifty dollars because you know they're not going to listen that back half of this. No they're not. Oh man, they'll take that. Oh yeah. Anyways, this is our podcast. So d d uh he doctor Palmer please? Uh not yet? So d D starts practicing. Yeah, you can just make up a science and then it just be like, nah, this is chiropractic and now I'm a doctor. This was an interesting time in history, yeah, because medicine was starting to really come into its own as a science. Germ theory happens during his lifetime, okay, okay, and so all of this is this is kind of magnetism, and a lot of other pseudo scientific medical treatments were all popping up this time, like the goat glands guy. This is all the same timeframe where people are figuring out all this different stuff. Snake oil was happening, and then the nation as a whole came together and eventually the American Medical Association was formed to be like, we need to come up with a standard for this because this is crazy right now. And so this is all happening at the same time, and so medicine was medicine as we know it today was in its infancy, Like there was always doctors and stuff, but medicine as we know it was was different. So at this time, it was kind of like, yeah, you could go become a doctor and like get a doctorate degree, but like you didn't people would still see you if you weren't a legal doctor. Okay, it makes sense. I'm saying you just you'd go by doc That's also true, like there was no no one was going to be able to verify that he was moving to town and be like, yeah, I'm a doctor. Yeah, it was much easier to fake those documents. Those documents makes a lot of sense now there you go. Yeah, is that why they call it doctored? I don't know if you doctored the document. No, it's because you physically altered them. You did something to that so that way you can tell her when you're a doctor. Sure, I don't know. So he so he got into uh, he started doing this, starts popping people's backs and stuff, and he starts to have it. He's like he's like, I got to come up with a reason why this matters. Basically. I don't know if he never said this, but it very much appears like he was like, he's like, I gotta get come up with a medical reason for this. Okay, So I got to come up with a reason for this. Well that's what it looks like. So when he realizes it's not going to make deaf people be able to hear, he's like, he's like, well, we'll do just about anything else. So he identifies, or, as chiropractors will say, he discovers what's known as subluxation. So subluxation is something with your spine not working right. Subluxation is you could probably discribe. Yeah, is the idea is that it is earned and not. So, like, your spinal cord has a passageway and when it's sublexated, it's when one of them is turned. And so it's almost like you have a water hose. You've pinched a little bit, and so now that passageway is thinner. Interesting, and so the theory has explained to me is that your your spinal cord is still sending signals, right, it's just dampened signals. Essentially, it's weakened. We can Yeah, that's what word we can signals interesting because my chiropractor will often pop something in my back. He goes, you're gonna poop better this week because your brain's sitting sending better signals to tests. And I'm gonna be honest with you. I don't know. Here's what's interesting. Every time I go, I wear a relief Babe. This is not how they want me to promote them. My chiropractor won't let me open my eyes until every brand deal I get, I come on this podcast and I just make funo. I mean, Jack, there are some that I've looked at where I'm like, I mean, Pepsi is never gonna sponsor us, but if they thought about it and we made a lot of fun of Peensy on the show, I mean, Pepsy sucks, but Pepsi sucks more than gen Z does. I love they did try to cancel us for gen Z trying to cancel us because we don't you ever because were real, don't come at us over medieval time. Oh yeah, we almost got canceled from medieval time. Did you think we got canceled? Fort was making sure that you knew always got canceled times. Yeah, medieval time is freaking sick man. Yeah, I mean I didn't know they were on strike. It makes sense because they broke That makes way more sense that they were on strike. After the production we saw it, it was the actor like the nights were great, but like the production team clearly had never done that before, didn't even know the lights on. Yeah, all the production stuff quit. They turned the fluorescent lights on. Yeah, and then like so there's a they turned the there's part of the show at a medical times where they fill the room with fog and like cool lights and like almost like laser stuff, and there's this gray horse that does this beautiful dance and through the fog looks probably amazing. All right, Yeah, why arena silent fluorescent lights? And you can hear this arena full of people eating chicken with their hands, you didn't their hands. There's no music, and the horse is just doing its thing to no music. Way less impressive. It does make you wonder, like, how did that take off in medieval times? Like in medieval time that was as cool as that guy? Well they had live music, right, oh yeah, they would have someone with like a harp and liar. Yeah, yeah, interesting, And then the guy over here was just so yeah, last week, I thought a bear, I kid, I got this shock tune things when I jumped off the boat and fought a shock. I'm a ninja. I'm an entrepreneur. I met last week. It's like, I just don't understand the super Bowl. In the band, what's the Biggest lot? You were told the biggest Live We're told, yeah, you got caught in you know my super Bowl story? Right? No. When I was in third grade, this is I don't care the podcast. I don't care about the topic. When I was in third grade, we were talking on the Super bowling class and it came across the room went did you say you just went? Did you say he went to the super Bowl? And everyone in the room turned and looked at me, And as a third grader, I knew how the star power worked, so I went yeah, And I rode that way for like two weeks until my mom talked to the teacher and the teacher was like, hey, he told us about your trip to the super Bowl. I don't think you went to the super Bowl. That mom was like, we did not, And so my teacher made me get up in front of the class, stand in front of the class and say I lied Wow. Yeah, that's brutal. It sucked. Yeah, but it was really because of Randall saying that across the room and then like I like to just say yeah, and then he hyped it up more and then it became like I wasn't like actively lying to people a bunch, you weren't. Yeah, but then once it's snowball, it was kind of like, yeah, you know, if someone asked, I'm gonna say yes because I'm a third grader and I'm not stupid, I know how, you know. And she wasn't talking to me before she thought I didn't go to zoom. You know. Yeah, I don't know if I can tell any of my lies on this show. They're still active. Okay, Oh my gosh, all right, Oh my gosh. Okay, sure, So I don't remember how we got here. Uh yeah, we were talking about uh, we're talking about DDE Palmer. D D. Palmer essentially was just like this, this is a suble station. That's right, which should be noted. I've done. Here's what I'll say for this episode, because it's something that so many people actively do. I was like, I want to, I want to. I did a decent bit of research on both sides of this argument. I wanted to I didn't want to just look at one. I have been to the chiropractor. I do feel better after I go to the chiropractor. I don't think it's the permanent solution. I think ultimately the stretching and workouts that I've done for my muscles have made me feel a lot better than chiropractor carriers. Yeah, that's that's what medicine, most modern medicine would agree with. Okay, that statement, Uh, station a pretty anti chiropractor. Some sublixation as the concept is not real. It has not been it has not been scientifically proven. Yeah, there has not been any scientific evidence to show there's not been any scientific evidence to show that anything even resembling sublication exists at all. Okay, and there's been multiple double blind studies and multiple like double blind, Yeah, multiple multiples. And he tried to heal them with the cracks, but they couldn't see single blind and that's not you can't even tell, you know. But here's the thing. After he cracked their backs, they could see the rickets on the carriage outside. And he's like, it's twenty twenty three. I think we did something real best up. Where are your eyes at? Oh? My eyes are in the past. That's a movie ideas. Someone goes to the chiropractor. They get their neck pop and then they walk around and their eyes it's like alternate reality. They see the world years ago where they are, you know what I'm saying. So they're talking to a lamp post, but it's George Washington, you know. Interesting. Yeah, Hey, maybe we should Robert and touch my Bayard knee even stop, Maybe we should. That's what they're gonna make perfect. I'm looking for something. Everybody is looking for something. I'm like starting to reach that point in myself. No, we should ask Robert and Robert and Chase to write that screenplay for us. All right, let's see where you go with it. They're watching this. Hopefully they're doing their jobs. Robert and Chase our new editors. I don't know if we've talked about them at all show yet. Okay, we definitely haven't. The time this episode comes out, they may not be they got fired. They We haven't changed our outro, so it probably still says Connor. I think it's still okay, so outro Anyways, Robert needs a c name, Crobert okay. Chase and Crobert are our new video editors. Robert's kind of a cool name, though, I'm like, why, I kind of want to stick with that. Christian, I don't know if we've talked about this show colleagues. Christian, I've stopped calling him Christian. I start I've called Christ. It is Christ in my phone? You call him Christ? Yeah? I told him, I said, I said, does anybody ever call you Christ? For sure? And he was like, no, nobody, And I was like, I'm changing it my phone, and so I did it now Siri when he texted me, it'll say Christ said, And I'm like, he never said that. Christ said you can do all things? Yeah, but he usually just says, hey, I sent to an invoice, can you pay me already? That's pretty much all we talked about. So DEEDI no suplexation. They they've attended and X rays and MRIs. We cannot find evidence that it exists, sure, and so a lot of doctors are pretty passionate that it doesn't a lot of some some chiropractors are. The Chiropractic Association will tell you or recently has started to try to distance itself from supplexation because it doesn't exist anyways. That's interesting. So imagine being a chiropractor for like thirty years though, and then have to be like to walk that back. Yeah, a lot aren't. So I'm gonna to walk that back. Like half my patients can't after I paralyze them from bad practices. So he says, Okay, the subli station thing kind of like you said, it's got that signals, you're you're weakening the signals. So anything in your body that's wrong with your body, if we fix this, like, we can fix that. And so that's what he brands it out. Yeah, and that's what I'm saying. Some chiropractors definitely fall into that, like you don't need chemo, you need chiropractic, and you're like, ah, it becomes a panacea. Yes, And that's where it becomes really questionable. And that's kind of where he started as was any like because my hip, like I felt like I wasn't able to like I couldn't drive long distance about my hip being weird, which I will say that is one of the one of the few things that I've seen where uh, medical doctors will say that's a that's a decent reason if your lower extremities have issues, then you probably do have some spinal issues and so going to get adjusted, and that could would be one of the first things that they would recommend because they don't want you to do surgery if you don't need it, right's say, go for physical therapy, try chiropractor, try all these other other things. If you have issues in your lower extremities, then that could be an actual spinal issue, then an adjustment could help there. Okay, anyways, but what d D branded it as was whatever's wrong with you because it's that spinal core, right, if we adjust it, we can fix anything. And so yeah, that's that's what I'm saying, is like, Oh, I'm gonna poop better now, or I'm gonna yeah, Oh, you're gonna breathe more clear this week, you're gonna yeah, you're gonna be able to you're gonna sleep better this week. You come in and he's like, hey, so how is those poops this week? Does the effort that he made me keep it a journal? So he starts practicing with the sublaxation thing, okay, and he says, whatever's wrong with you, come, I'll pop your back and you won't have whatever problem you have now right, And a lot of people like are like, oh, yeah, it does help me, and some people are like that doesn't help at all. And this guy has pictures of this guy all over the office. Yeah he's cool, I'm saying, like, now that I've remembered his name, Yeah, he has pictures all over his office, like Fire in the Hole has pictures of bald knobbers all over there. Ride you know what I'm saying, Like, Yeah, yeah, hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you like this and you want more of our show, We've got plenty of other episode. It's one of my favorites. Is Action Park, a super sketchy theme park that was basically overrun by teenagers and they just made the rules. It was in New Jersey. It was a wild story, but we did a whole episode about it, and I think you'd like it. So when you're done with this one, go check out that episode. But for now, back to this one. Okay. Anyway, So he starts having people come and and there's like mixed reviews, but a lot of people really like it and are showing up, and some other people are like wanting to learn to do and at this time is he's doing their next and stuff. Yeah, he's doing everything. He's popping them. Okay, sure, okay, I don't have my charapractor will Sometimes I say I learned a new move, and I go, no, thank you, I'm not joking. I learned him move. You tried and true. Man. There is now mixed reviews, but there's a growing population of people who are wanting to practice it. And they're the they're wanting to be ki wanted to be chiropractical, like this guy's making too much money. Yeah, they're like, hey, it's working. And the American Medical Association is getting wind of what's going on, and they seem to be asking questions. Okay, And so he realizes and this is I should say, we fast forwarded years, like I was going to say, in decades like he is now he's established a college in Davenport, his son is growing up, and his son has actually began to practice, and like a lot of time has passed, like he's been practicing for years. More and more chiropractors are being trained, and now the American Medical Association is knocking on the door. This is early nineteen hundreds now, and they're asking a lot of questions that he is concerned about because it very much seems like they are trying to shut them down because they don't think it's legit. And so he says, he says, Okay, if we try to operate as an actual medical establishment, we have to go through the American Medical Association and get certified for all this stuff and do everything that they want us to do. He said, But because we're in America and we have certain freedoms, we can I can do whatever I want. Well, he says, He says, if we're a religion, then they can't infringe upon our religious chiropractic, our religious practices. And so he writes a bunch of books on the philosophy of chiropractic and he establish establishes it as a religion. And this is a quote from his So there's a book, I believe it's called The Chiropractors Adjuster, which is his religious guide on chiropractic. And here's what he says about chiropractic in that book. He says, we must have a religious head, one who is the founder, as did Christ, Muhammad, Joseph Smith, and many others who have founded religions. I am the fountainhead. I am the founder of chiropractor in it as its science and as art, in it as philosophy, and in its religious phase. He went on to say, I am the only one who can do that. And he goes on later to say that the text that he writes about chiropractic, he was inspired by God to write, and he says that he claims that, he claims that there was another doctor who had been gone for like dead for years, who comes to him in visions and tells him what to say. That's what I'm saying. He talks to the dead. He's got a Ouiji board and he's like, we should help our new studio wall that says I am the one. D. D. Palmer thirty eight to two or something. I am the only one. And so he establishes that as a religion to protect it from the American Medical Association. Okay, and it really does become a cult, which is interesting because it's very similar to how people in counterpactic behave now little cult tea and so he sets it up as a church to protect it. But his son Bja did not like this decision. He wanted it to be a business. He didn't want it to be medical he didn't want it to be religious. He wanted it to be a business. And so they started to kind of have this feud that went on for years. Okay, well the American Medical Association, if it's a religion, they don't pay taxes either. Okay, sorry to jump ahead your story. Yeah, So they start feuding and they end up getting to a spot where BJ's running the college, his dad's running a like their practice, their family practice, and his dad's kind of running chiropractic as an institution as ya as an idea as an idea. Yeah, and his son is running the college training all the chiropractors. Well, the American Medical Association ends up coming through with a ruling basically like hey, you guys are all frauds in your line to everybody and anybody who's practicing this needs to go to jail or pay a fine and stop practicing. Okay, what year was that. I believe it was the early nineteen hundred nineteenth. I don't know the exact date. I want to say, like nineteen oh five ish, someone in that ballpark, early nineteen hundreds. Yeah, and so did being the man that he was, he was like he was like he's like I will not pay a fine for this. I will not recognize that. You won't recognize this. And he's like, so you'll have to put me in prison. Oh, I can't hear you. What'd you say? What? Correct? So he goes to prison for his son, pays the fine. Sounds like whatever, I'll pay the fine. Oh my gosh, and he goes to prison for it, well for his beliefs. Yeah. Well, he stays for a month and realizes I've made a mistake, and so he sells the school works. He sells the school to his son, and he's so, what you're saying is he was in a jut. He was a chiropractor and he would take people's spines and make them straight. Yeah, and then he got scared straight out of that. Yeah yeah, yeah, pretty accurate. And so, uh he sold the college to his son so that way he could pay his fine and get out of prison. And so he did that. And I'm a little foggy on the details of what happened here because there was this big judgment that came down right, clear it up, because there's a big judgment that happened, and everybody had to pay their fines or go to jail. But then after that all kind of happened, like a bunch of chiropractors were able to just keep practicing, and so I don't know if like, okay, it wasn't. I don't know exactly how they were weaseled their way around that, but they did and they were able to continue practicing. So BJ continues running the college, and my chiropractor at the beginning of twenty twenty gave me a letter yeah that he said, if you get pulled over and they're like, why are you out of your house, you tell them you're on your way to the chiropractor, and you give them this letter to prove it. What the very very beginning during during the lockdown the twenty twenty and I was like, I was like, do you think the SWAT teams are going to pull me over? Where are you going? I'm like, hi, Ve, yeah, I forgot when you said twenty twenty what happened in twenty twenty? And I thought he was just a general, Like he was just like, here's a letter called over, dude, I'm like going ninety. Sorry, it's urgent. I need to get adjusted. Haven't pooped in days? Yeah, my subluxed I'm SUBLUXD. I'm SUBLUXD and the cop legally to let you okay, I'll lead the way. You gotta say two things. One, I'm a cop. I tell you that watch out against a cop. And then they have to go okay, I'll escort or you can call nine one one and ask for that. That's why chiropractors has cop in the name. They're all cops. Comes okay. Uh So BJA now has the school and starts running the school. Yeah, uh d D. And there are there's a fierce rivalry between the two of them. They're both uh uh d D is building this philosophy of chiropractic and running it as religion. BJ is like, now we're a business. Forget all that religion stuff. We're a business. And I'm making all these devices, medical devices for all the doctors I'm training. Devices. Yeah. So, and a lot of them are actually still in use today. Yeah, the things that do the measurements and the the find the sublixations. He was creating all these devices. Yeah. Ironically, uh he built a device what's it called? Remember in Scientology our Scientology episode, the device that they use with the converts where they have to hold those things in beginning to decide like how saved they are or whatever, he built the device that would become that, like because they became friends at some point, l Ron Hubbard, the chiropractic is linked to scientology. Yeah, el Ron Hubbard became friends with BJ and that makes so much sense. And Alron Hubbard was like, what's that? And he was like, oh, he does this thing for chiropractic. And he's like, He's like, can I have like fifty thousand of those? And then they use those as their devices for Scientology to see if you were saved? What? Yeah, whatever, they those are called. There's those media. No one who's subluxed scientology that was subluxed anyway. That's a total sidebar. But yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense. They're connected. So Bja was trying to build this business where he was training this these doctors. Okay he wasn't a doctor himself, but he's training these doctors and supplying them with their certifications and then he would sell them the devices. And so that was his business model. Coach, it was a good plan. So he was actually doing the chiropractic stuff anymore. He was just he was building a business right, got it that served the people who did it, which was pretty smart because he knew, oh, hey, there's a lot of people like practicing in this is sketchy right now. And he's like, I don't want to do the really this thing because that's weird. But he's like, but if I supply them, then maybe I can get around the legality of it, which he did for a while. And so meanwhile DDI goes out to California and tries to start a college in California. It fails. He then goes to uh it failed the college. Yeah, the California, Yeah, it didn't work. Really rethinking my move, and then he goes to Seattle, dries in Seattle, it fails, and then I want to say, he went to Phoenix somewhere in the southwest fails. So then he goes back to Davenport, Iowa and opens up a college two blocks from BJ and it's like, come to my college. I'm the only one who's capable of teaching you this stuff. And so the feud is starting to get really bitter at this point, and allegedly in uhh December, in December of nineteen thirteen, there is a homecoming parade in town. Okay, d D is marching in the parade and BJ runs with the car and kills him. Uh, I'm sorry, hit the parade in the parade. Wait, so d D doesn't immediately dive his injuries, but his son literally runs him over with a car in the parade, in the parade, in the parade, in the parade runs him over. Okay, I think was he going the parade route? No, b DDE was marching in the parade. Yeah, yeah, and b just by himself. I'm so sorry about that. For example, though, he's just he is doing his own parade. He's the only person in the Yeah, and that's what that's just. That's just jaywalking. That's not a parade. That's just jaywalking. Yeah, here's he's marching, marching the parade doing Next time, you're jaywalking. If the cops give you trouble, hand him. And this is a parade, I'm allowed to be here legally. You have to tell me if you're a cop, and then you have to start this. You have to you have to get all the cops, so they have to leave every horse in town, and they got to be at the end and also get fire drug. So sand has to be at the end too. I don't know where he is. Call him, he's got to be here. I'm doing a parade. He'll find us. So he's in the parade, just marching parade, and so is his son driving the parade rough I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. Or his son just drives into the parade. I'm pretty sure his son just drives in and gets them. Uh, and so, but he doesn't die. Two weeks later, he's back in California. But do people at the parade have seen BJ hit every putting those PJ read him over with the car. It's not a question, and they're like, I don't know if this makes me want to go there more or less? Well, he ran him over, and he showed him a note since sorry, I'm on my way to the religion, said I could do this my religion. Run my dad over. You can't. It's in the religion. And so, uh, he goes to California and he ends up dying in California two weeks later of typhoid fever. Okay, and BJ is exonerated of all his crimes. Seems very fishy to me. I don't know, so legally speaking speaking, I think it's typhoid. He was giving everybody certe typhoid. That's so dumb. So he gives a cert of sort of voice, sort avoid freak. He dies of typhoid fever allegedly, and then also two broken bones in his body. But I think we're pretty shows just that it's my shot somewhere and they were like, yeah, I did the flu though, so yeah, yeah, he just stopped breathing. We don't know why. That's like every person on the internet, that's just like, oh, were they vaccinated. That's probably why they died. Yeah, you don't think it was the five story fall that did him in. I don't because the other was everything else. It was like it was probably it was a plane crashing them might have taken his life. You think it's because he's vaccinated. So anyway, so he dies and it turns into a business. BJ is like, we're burying all this religion stuff, not my dad. Though, we're not burying him. I'm I'm backing him up with a bunch of stuff. Put I'm in the college and he's the training w you can pop my dad what Yeah, for fifty bucks, you can call my dead dad back. He's pretty subluxed. He's so sublus that he's dead. It's like it's like the Sorcerer's stone or no, no, the SORCER's stone, the sword in the stone. It's like it's like what a chiropriter can pop best can bring him back to life? You have not passed, freaking I'm trying to raise d D from the dead, trying to raise dead dead over here, that's what stands for dead dead Palmer. It's stupid. I can't believe I hit by his own So the kills him. Typhoid kills him, son kills him, and then he starts a business and becomes an empire and uh, for years, my biggest fear the American medical Your son kills you. Yeah, your biggest fear is like going to prison for the primate. Mine is straight up there. When my kids will kill me? Yeah, I mean that's likely, Like I will slip with my door locked at night. I think you're that afraid of it. I'm pretty afraid of my kid killing me. What about right, She's shacking over power so easily. I mean, just have we kids then, oh yeah, I'm going to Yeah, you can decide. Why are your kids like so malnourished. I want to I just want to make striking over power power. All Right, I think these rugs, this rug is definitely getting my allergies going. Yeah, I'm feeling it. I didn't think it would shoot, but I'm feeling we should vacuum. Uh. So they start the business, they start doing chiropractic for you, and they establed a college. The Palmer College still is like the college for chiropractors in Davenport, Iowa. Okay, it's a big deal. I'm pretty sure it is Davenport. We keep saying Davenport. I'm not positive. I'm pretty sure, but I'm sorry, I'm texting. They continue this battle with the American Medical Association to this day. In the seventies, as recently as the seventies, chiropractors were going to jail for practicing chiropractic because the American Medical Association was like, you're doing stuff that's not real. Recently there has been I don't know how to describe it. Recently they've softened their approach because in the nineties there was a chiropractor who sued the American Medical Association saying that like for libel, Okay, and lost that lawsuit big time. The jury was like, yeah, we all know you're making this up. And so lost that lawsuit and it was this whole, big, big deal. Well, in two thousand and three, I believe he reopened the case and used some weird niche law to basically say that that whole jury was like unfit to roll on that case. And in this reopened case, they were able to then win that case against the American Medical Association. Okay, And the whole case basically that he brought forward was that there was this kind of sleeper cell within the American Medical Association that was trying to take down chiropractic from the inside. It was a big conspiracy theory to the point where there was a chiropractor who allegedly went undercover within the American Medical Association, got a job with the American Medical Association and leaked a bunch of documents. We still don't know who his name is, who his actual name is. He goes by sore throat, leaks a bunch of these documents allegedly from the well the American Medical Association saying that like, yeah, we need to crush character. We don't know who he is. He goes by roast be But yeah, so Sore Throat brought this out in the sky suit and one and and ever since then, the American Medical Association has pumped or breaks because they they lost that big lawsuitent Yes, it was a big deal for them, but the American Medical Association still stands pretty firm on the fact that chiropractic is something that can bring some relief, and it's something that can is like a a pain relieving treatment, but it is not a medical treatment because there stands there is there is Most of the doctors that I see talking about this say there is a place for chiropractic as if like, if you have pain, it can alleviate that pain, and there are certain things that it does actually help, but it is not something that is actually fixing the problem. You're you're dealing with the symptoms when you're dealing with chiropractic. You're not dealing with the problem itself. Okay, And there's a place for that, like if you need pain relief, like it can be a place where you can get pain relief. But there's also a lot of people who practice chiropractic that act like it can cure everything, right, right, and that's sketchy and that's not true. The actually if you just keep coming back, yeah, there's no evidence for that. In fact, there's evidence to the contrary of that. And so but if you go too much, you're actually making it worse. Yeah, because it's like it's just like what people say with your when you pop your knuckles, Like the more you pop your knuckles, the more you need to pop your knuckles. And if you continue to do that and then you stop, you you cause poslems. But if you continue to do it too much, you can actually open yourself up to situations where you can cause damage. It's the same thing with your back. You're pop things in your back too much, You're weakening all those connection points and so eventually it could cause bigger problems. And especially with chiropractors, like there are certain moves that are totally safe to do, but there are some new moves they could learn. Learn this new move and I don't know, man, Yeah, there's some moves that they could do that are pretty dangerous and if they make a mistake, like there are people who die from chiropractic adjustments that shouldn't yeah, yeah, yeah, And so it is something I'm not saying like chiropractic is something that you should never do, but it's something that you should think of as like a massage. Becau's not medicine. Sure, it's something that could relieve and could be helpful and could be good, but it's not medicine. And it was founded by a guy who thought it should be a religion, which is crazy. Speaking of religions, we do have a patriot and the only ones who could lead it are us, myself and Tim Stone. And here's the thing. The government can't take this from They could try. They could try. Come and take it with my car. I'm gonna hit your dad with my car. Yeah, and then we're gonna let people. I'm gonna hit my dad with a car. We're all in our dad's with cars. That's our religious beliefs, and you can't infridge on them. I have a letter right here says three things. One are you a cop God? You have to tell me legally. Two, I'm gonna hit my dad with a car because of the religious beliefs that I hold dear to my heart, and you can't infridge on those. And three if you disagree with me, fill a while. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you liked it, you can subscribe or watch some more episodes or some clips. But then I need to make this like twenty seconds. My producer said it has to be longer, so I'm just gonna keep talking for a little bit. And is this long enough? Connor okay? Cool? Yeah, thanks for being here.


Chiropractic care is a standard back and neck pain treatment, but where did it come from? The origins of chiropractic are pretty strange and unexpected. It all started with a Canadian man named Daniel David (D.D.) Palmer in the late 1800s. Palmer worked as a “magnetic healer,” claiming he could cure diseases by waving magnets over people’s bodies. This practice … Read More

Kevin McCallister – The Boy Who Fought Back

12-19-23

Episode Transcript

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey man, what's up. Hey, Merry Christmas? Oh yeah, Christmas, Merry Christmas. What a beautiful time of the year. Yeah, it's almost over, so I hope you enjoyed it. Well, you can't times donnut Rouge Donna forsake the time of your family because you might not. I wish you were never bore. It was like their colleague cards. They would peede themselves Christmas gift for anyone in your family with a massive head. So he puts together this war plan to defend his home, and he's sort of a shorter episode if he called the police. We're going over some Yeah, this is things I learned last night. We just went and saw uh, my wife's one hundred year old uh great grandma, Yeah, yesterday. Yeah, and she got up and showed me that she's doing squats like she just I was like, how are you still walking around and stuff? And she gets up is freaking two plates, dude, I feel like twenty five. Yeah, she's freaking crazy. She threw that down and started doing some lunches in between. Yeah. No, she really was like squatting and then she like bent her knee up and like she was showing all of her mobility things that she does every day. That's pretty crazy. I was like, what about one hundred, one hundred years old? That's nuts. But anyway, the reason I said the family would take is that, you know, because we we moved and the last thing that she said before we left was don't forget that your family are your first friends. It was just one of those things that we were like, Okay, one hundred year old person think yeah, yeah, yeah, Like once you have three digits in your year, like you start to I told her, I said, I said, oh man, keeping limber for the next one hundred she goes. I hope not. She's at that age where every time we go over there, she just goes. I prayed that guy would take me last night and he didn't. You're like, okay, that's so sad. Good to see you too. Anyways, I have you never heard of Kevin McAllister. Yeah, he runs the restaurant that are like clothes. It's his restaurant. They got a good club sandwich. Yeah, no, it's not that. Not the same okay, not the same. No, Kevin McAllister was he was the center of a pretty wild event, okay, like Christmas nineteen ninety okay, him and his family. Well here, let's let's start from beginning of the story. His family. His dad, Peter worked in like corporate Chicago and had made like a pretty good name for himself, okay, and got pretty successful. Like here, here's an example, here's a good name of yeah. Okay, yeah, here's here's their home. They had a beautiful Chicago home in like suburb these days, though, I mean it's still it was mentioned in those days, in those days, not that long ago. Well, I mean it is, though it's like thirty years yeah, I guess, I guess. I yeah, thirty three thirty three years ago. Jeez, remember it, like okay, no, uh, but yeah, they were pretty successful and they they were I feel like this is like a like a rich person thing to do, where they on Christmas Day were like, We're going to go to France on the day of Christmas, like Christmas morning. I think it's a it's a it's an upper middle class thing to do because the flying on Christmas is cheaper than the other days. To be fair, this trip was a big trip, like they brought all their family and like who paid for it, Peter. I'm pretty sure Peter paid for the whole thing. I don't know. I don't know, Like the reports are are slim on who was paying for everyone's flights, but I do know it was like, yeah, it was it was the mcallisters, Peter and his wife Kate and their kids. But then also like they brought extended family, so it was like all the cousins and like the aunts and uncles and grandparents went on this trip too. Okay, so it was a big crew. There's actually a photo from another trip. This wasn't the same Christmas trip. I don't believe this is a Christmas trip. I think this is a different Christmas trip. I believe this is I'm not positive, but this I think this might have been next year. So two four six eight, Yeah, a lot of cousins. I think there's aunt and uncle photo too, but the rest of them are all cousins. They're all the cousins. Kevin is the little boy in the middle, like dead center that blue robot. So big family. So even if like like even if there's better rates on Christmas, like they they're buying a big family, like they're probably almost the whole plane. At what point is it more economical to fly private and that's like, that's really how I justify it. So I go, yeah, private economically, just economically, like that just makes more just makes more sense. And the Lord wants me to do it because I can reach more people this way, God told God said my plane the other wise. And I'm not trying to show off. I got watches more valuable than your cars. But but every time I land in the airport, people clap. They're like, yeah, we should do that at the airport, and we should clappers. People's getting we should have plants, hire people, should people who are not so higher people were in it, yeah, to do the little thing when they walk out, I didn't go to jail. If we did that, I think they would arrest you. What you do a tunnel. At the end of the tunnel, you get arrested. They think you about you knew that regular airlines activity. Okay, that is just regular. You know someone common on my thing. I made a video about tsa thing and they were like about, how like they owe you money if they yeah, someone common And it goes, well, that's not the same one Frontier and I comed like, why would I be flying Frontier? Sorry, this is a different this is a conversation for the people. You know, there should be separate security lines for those people. I remember there was a moment in time where I thought Frontier was the coolest airline and it was just because of their was because I was a child and they had commercials that appealed to well, I guess, yeah, you grew up in their market, didn't Yeah, yeah, I was. I was someone that because I think their whole marketing plan was we get the kids to think we're the coolest. That way, the parents buy tickets when they take their kids to Disney World. That's oh, I think that was why they did. They were flying Frontier. I don't know what they were flying. I don't know what's Frontier doing that in nineteen ninety Yes, it's probably like I don't know, American. I'd think American Airlines was the one, and I don't know sure, I don't have an answer to that question. But they bought like sixteen tigres. They bought a lot of tickets, and so everybody comes out, they come to Chicago first and they stay and do Christmas. They yeah, they do Christmas the night before, they do their family thing. And the reports of what happened on Christmas Eve before the trip are a little shody because it was only the family that was there, so we don't know. There's questions on like how legitimate the storyline really is. But allegedly there was a disagreement during dinner over some of the pizza or meals or something like that, and it got pretty heated between a couple of the cousins and it kind of hit a fever pitch with Kevin that the sun and I showed you in the front, and that led to like disciplinary action. His mom, Kate, walked him out of the room. They went upstairs and they kind of had an argument, and then the argument allegedly okay, Kevin screamed uh at at Kate and said that I think you're say he stabbed her. I was like, what are you building to right now? It's allegedly, yeah, this is where she tripped and fell down those stairs. What do you Allegedly Kevin yelled something. We don't know exactly what he yelled, but something to the effect of I wish I didn't I lived alone, I wish I didn't have any of my family, I wish you were all dead something like that. We don't know exactly what he said. But he yelled something along those lines to that effect, and she uh said, tonight, you're gonna have to sleep in the attic. Jeez, it seems like a disproportional you know, a child throws a fit. Here's the thing about Christmas time, Christmas family fights, right, yeah, is that none of you had vegetables in three weeks. That's the whole problem, dude. People come to Christmas and they're just stocked up on candy. No one's eating anything healthy. It's just freaking cornbread, ham and Mars bars. It's a ridiculous amount of can Yeah. And then and then you're just like, why do we always find it holidays? You're like, because none of you have had your green your diet is a mess. Yeah, and you're also all sleeping on couch. It like there's thirty two people sleeping in your house right now. That's a nightmare. Uncle Tom's chugged two gallons of milk. Like, that's not a good milk of milk. He keeps saying it's milk. But we know that's not milk. We can smell it. We know it's not milk. So he sleeps up in the attic. That night, all right, that we know for sure, Okay, and then what happens here is kind of crazy. It's like a finished addict does it have like he got air conditioners. It's a partially finished attic. I think it's kind of like I think this might be like a Chicago thing, or like maybe not even a Chicago thing, but like this is something that I think, like, I think certain regions treat addicts like we treat basements, where it's like like they'll put that up there, They'll put it like a living room type space up there. I think, I don't know, actually's pretty good, yeah, because the basements are never finishing those houses. Though the bases were never finishing those houses. They always treat the interest. It's interesting. Interesting. I think that's a thing that they do. Huh. All right, Anyways, overnight there was a slight storm that knocked the power out. And this is nineteen ninety, so nobody has cell phones, okay, and so because the power went out, the power came back on. No one noticed, no one realized the power went out. Sure power came back on, and all the alarm clocks in the house. I hate when this happens in a hotel Yeah, so they missed their wake up alarm. They wake up to the airport shuttle. Another thing we don't really do much anymore, but the airport shuttle came to pick them up. You do if you're upper middle class slash maybe rich. The airport shuttle comes to pick them up, knocks on the door. Yeah, my Uber black shut up personal driver. That's a pretty similar I guess that's the It's not Uber black though, an airport shuttle is is the Uber? Yeah? What's the uber where people ride with you? Uberpool? Yeah. I don't even don't speak the language, geez, it's an uberpool. Yeah. So the uber pool shows how they knock on the door. They wake up to the knock on the door and they're like, oh my gosh, our flight. Yeah, and so they just start panicking. Everybody started like throwing stuff, grabbing, grabbing each other. They're jumping in and as they're getting in the car, Kate recounts it as saying it was cass We had two shuttles. We had to count everybody, like, we had eight nine kids that are coming on this flight, and we had to figure it out. And so she said she enlisted one of the older daughters to go count all the kids, and one like, count, make sure we've got enough, and went through, counted all the heads. Well, what had happened was there was a neighbor boy who saw the commotion, had already celebrated Christas morning, got a new game boy, was out there playing with his game boy. Walks over and it's kind of talking to all of them. Sits in the shuttles, talking to the other neighbor kids, playing his game boy. Take this kid on a flight. Well, they count the kids. Child, you're not a kidnapper, you look like a kidnapper. I am. And so that she comes in and she's I was when I was twenty two, I got involved with the Russian mafia. Got a kidnapped on Christmas morning. So they count, They count all these kids, and she sees what she thinks is Kevin sitting there, but it's really the neighbor kid. She counts him as if he's Kevin, and then they she's like, yeah, we've got everyone. Meanwhile, that kid leaves the shuttle, like upstairs, I don't see. Nobody remembered Kevin's sleeping in the attic that night. They remember to this day he remembers that he slept in the attic that night. So Kevin's asleep up in the attict, no clue that anyone that any of this is happening. He's like just completely knocked out asleep. The shuttle leaves, they go to the airport, they have to like sprint to their gate. They get on the plane, the plane takes off their airborne before anyone realizes that Kevin's still asleep in the attic. And so meanwhile, col h, He's got to be like seven or eight at this time. I don't know, like he's a kid, he's a child. Allegedly he could be a thirty two year old person pretending to be a child. We don't know the facts. We don't know, we don't know. We just we're going off the reports from the family. Yeah, and so Kevin wakes up, and Kevin walks down from the attic. Luckily, like this is also an attict, This isn't an attict with like the yeah he'd stuck up there, Hey goy, Hey, hey, I get it. I'm sorry. Yeah. Now they're like there's stairs to this attic. So he walks downstairs and no one's there, and so he thinks in his little kid brain, He's like, I made my family disappear. He's like, when I like, I said my family, he said what I wish all of you go were gone? Like it worked. And so he he celebrates like he's having the time of his life this Christmas. He's excited, like yeah, he's like, he's like, I can watch our raid of movies. I can eat ice cream for breakfast. Like he's he's living the life. You know, well we all do at nineteen when we first move out. Yeah, You're like, oh my god, she can do whatever I want. And then and then you taste consequences for the first time. Then you gain seventy pounds and you're like wow. And then you take your credit card statement and you're like, oh that, and you find out where your credit score is in a pretty unpleasant way, and you realize that matters, and you're like, people care about that, old people care about that. Oh, and then you start drinking milk and Jack, you're like, hedge off, man, I'm so stressed. So okay. So he's living there, Beth, your best our son has been working hard and finally has an acceptable seven to twenty credits core. I keep telling him it can be higher, and he says that I'm working on it. I'm trying my best. The economy is what it used to be, you guys. You guys got it easy with the houses that you bought so cheap in your head, if you really look at the inflation, the minimum wage versus what a house costs these days, not that you do. Uh. So they're on the flight and Kate just his mom, Kevin's mom. Kate can't shake the feeling that she's forgetting something. Yeah. So they're sitting there and they're talking about. They're like, I feel like I forgot something, and her husband's like, maybe I left the garage rope. I might. I think that's it. I think I left the garage door open. Yeah, And she's like, no, that's not it. We're talking about. They're talking about. They're talking about it, and then she realizes nobody woke Kevin up. They're in the air on the way to free She pulls a gun. She's like, there's what's gonna get this plane down. She pulls the gun the cockpit and says, take me back to my child. That's the only way to get the plane down. Otherwise they're we're not right. Yeah, they didn't even care that she had a good Yeah. It turns out that the pilots were from Chicago and they were like, hey, that's how we're doing it. What we're doing it. Yeah, So she guys is playing all the way to Chicago or now all the way to France, she guess. They fly to France in the middle of flight. Nothing they can do about it, Yeah, and she's freaking out. She's having a hard time. The family is like trying to console her on the on the flight and she's like the second we land, I'm getting on another flight back to Chicago to go because Kevin. The dad's like, I mean it's fine. It's like, yeah, the food is gonna be great. We got tickets for a show tonight, like they're non refundable. Yeah, it's like, I I mean, let's be really, this was the highlight of their honeymoon. We have to go see. We made such a big deal. Friends just told this is the highlight, the highlight of their honeymoon. We bought the tickets. We got to do it. So Kevin, Kevin is home, Yeah, and a couple of interesting things start to happen while he's there one, he learns really quickly how to be an adult. He starts like pay bills and literally he's like, he's like taking care of the home. He's like trimming hedges. He's going to the grocery store and he's like buying himself like actual girl, not just like day one trim the hedges. His family leaves there. In the plan, he walk this house looks so such a freaking mess, the whole thing. It was a crazy shade. Agree, but it was not good time for him to be like so much. Should keep taking care of this. It was almost immediate. He just goes, I got to get well, I guess, takes the trash cans up. He's he's not. He's just gotta shipping this trash can on the driveway. Hey, thanks for being part of this episode. If you want to help us do more of this, you want to help us grow our show, one of the easiest and best ways to do that is to join our Patreon. It's a way for your financial to support this show, and you get a lot in return. You get access to our discord channel, you get bonus content that was out, you get exclusive merchandise, and like live Zoom hangouts where we're both just hanging out, eating pizza, just getting to know each other. The biggest thing is is we want to know you more as an individual and as a friend. So thanks for supporting our show. If you don't supports financially, we're not pressed about it. We're not like mad, but I'll find you. So text till in the six six eight sixty six to keep yourself from being found, all right, because if you don't, I will want you down dad. So we started taking care of the home. Meanwhile, there had been this string of burglaries in their neighborhood. Okay, from a group that was known as the Wet Bandits. That sounds a good joke. That sounds a good joke, but it was like their colleague cars. They would feed themselves that way. If they get caught. The first question is it, what are you doing in my house? It's down your house, right, it's your house. You hear some sprint down the hall running and then stop and then you stop. You go, hey did you pee your pants? And that's like a bison enough time to get out of there. Where the bandits suck up They say that yeah, no, what they were doing they had this calling card, so they would what they would do, they would break into homes of people who were out on vacation for like like Christmas. Yeah, yeah, and so they would break into these homes, but they wanted, I don't know why, they like wanted to put their signature on it. And so what they would do is they would leave the kitchen sink on when they left, and they would like stuff up the drain so it flood the whole house. And so they would steal all your stuff. But then also, yeah, it sucks, like it's pretty brutal. Yeah, and so h for water damage press for for stolen property press five, And you're like, Babe, which one do I should I do the water damage claim first or the stolen properly? There was a for the Wet Bandits, the Wet Bands Press six, but it's like, but it's like clearly so they had to record that because of the new string of stuff. So it's like for the for water damage, press five, for stolen property press six, for the Wet Bandits, Press seven, it's like clearly recorded the same for the Wet Bandits. For the Wet band You're not supposed to say, beef, I said that the press seven there, okay, and then you push the button and it goes, don't what hold on, I'm doing that song. I'm doing that. What you're doing, I'm doing sounds do it. I was doing what I would do on hold. You've done that. You've been on hold and the music is pretty good. So you're kind of like and then they go hello and you're like, Hi, you know what I'm saying. They heard you. They definitely heard you. Yeah, And you're like, so, like, would you turn your chair on me? If this is the voice? They're like, what would you turn anyway? Sorry, it's a it's a it's stolen property and it's a wet claim, Like, okay, my house is so wet drenched alright, just calling a flexol. My house is so property value in front of us. I know you're sappy. White House Tour February second in Berlin, Maryland. We'll see you there. So so the Wet band, it's yeah. They ended up getting caught eventually. Their names are are Harry and Marva and uh Harry. The game that they would do is Harry would go around the neighborhood and he would case the neighborhood dressed as a cop and he would go door to door and he would say he would ring the doorbell and talk to the homeowners and say, hey, there's a string of burglaries in the area. We want to make sure that all of our neighbors are taking the proper precautions. Let me know what you're doing. Yeah, what what's your security program? Are you traveling anytime? Do you? What's your pets names, what's your Yeah, what kind of car did you drive? Yeah, So he'd get all that information about them, find out if they were traveling anytime soon. And he would also because they he was an officer, like dressed like an officer, they would find there, he'd get an inventory of what they have in the house and what they he was targeting and when they would break in. Like it was kind of smart, like a smart way to case the neighborhood. Sure, and people fell for it. And so he actually, uh did this with the mcallisters a couple of days before their trip. He showed up, did the same thing and they're like, Yeah, we're going to France on Christmas morning and we're gonna do the whole thing. And yeah, we've got the timers on the lights like everything you can do to be secure and safe, and he got to see everything that they had. So they made plans the day after Christmas to come back and and hit the McAllister home because they knew they were going to be out of town. Well, Kevin's there. Uh yeah, so Kevin hedge clippers hedges. He gave me inside, he gave he gave the family Volkswagen an oil change, grease allovers figure. He couldn't even YouTube it. He's making a steak on the grail of the car. Like the car is hard enough that he just knows how to cook it right. He's just out there and the engine's running. He's just, eh, I'm cooking. I'm an army guy. You know a r M. Why you're not gonna know how I So Harry and Marvs show up to hit the house and he's he's inside. He's in the kitchen and he's watching an R rated movie, one of the like a family favorite classic Christmas movie. And there's been debate on what movie this is, like people can't track down, Like he says, it's a Christmas He's like, he's I don't know what the movie was. It was the one that my family was watching that year. It's an R rated movie. And in that movie, there's kind of like an argument between a couple of criminals that ends in like one of the criminals gunning down the guy with like a Tommy gun geez. And it's a violent, like R rated movie. I Wish You were never born, you know. It's like really guns him down, you know. And so he hears he hears the wet bandits trying to get in in his kitchen, and so he takes the VHS and runs to the kitchen TV the out of VHS in there, and he puts the VHS in fast forwards it to that moment in the movie, and he has some firecrackers. He puts them in a pot and he times it. He like lights the firecrackers, so the firecrackers go off the same time that the guns fire and like cranks the movie. So the guys are trying to get in that back door and then they hear this argument through the door and then they hear the firecracker line up with the gunshot sounds in the movie, and they think that someone well they think someone beat them to it, and they were having a disagreement over the take, and then they someone killed someone and so they freak out. They run. They're like someone beat us to the score, like we missed our chance, and they're like frick. So they leave. They run away, and Kevin is like, Okay, we survived, but I don't know what that was about. Like I'm a little nervous, like I gotta yeah, I gotta find a way to protect myself. Uh. They continue casing the house. Thinking from his kid though, that is pretty sharp. Let's be real, we've learned some things about him already, like he was very quickly ready to just be these and he didn't take like it didn't take a second for him to figure it out. He started shaving. That was another thing he said. He said he started shaving. He didn't need to. Yeah, he's just made himself. It's just literally just cutting his face to I don't think like I'm just my dad does this? Why do they do this? I guess you after a while now, you know, was trying to break in. Freddy Krueger opens the door a kid voice, and they're like, I'm more afraid of this guy. He's got the hedge clipper clip has one man, chest covered in grease, face covered in blood, I'm scared too merry Christmas. So they started chasing the house for a little bit sure, and they start to they start to realize something's awry because they have this experience where they think someone got gun down in the house. Kevin quick thinking goes and he finds like throughout his house. He's like, okay, I got to make sure that it seems like people are living here still, like there's still stuff going on. Okay, So he goes and he his mom has like a like one of those like wig head dolls, you know what I'm talking about, like the mannequin heads that you can still on. So he sets up a couple of those, like okay, I store my odd job hats on little mannequins, and just they're very large, you know. He sets those up at like the dining room table, puts one on the end of the Christmas for anyone in your family with a massive head. And like his prop code. His older brother has like a like a Michael Jordan like cardboard cutout, and so like het, he starts setting these up around the house. Like he puts one of them on like a train, so like moves around the house and then turns all the lights on, so through the windows saying like yeah they would. They would then try to break in and see a mannequin head and someone lives here. No, so through the window shades it would look like people. Like interesting, So they come back to kiss the house. They see this, and they're like, what's going on? Like some last night someone died in there, but now they're having a party, like a Christmas party, and so they start to think something shady is going on. Eventually they put two and two together and realize that this kid's this kid's like playing trying to play us and the kid. The kid somehow gets win as what's going on as well, Like he realizes these people are kising the house. I don't know if he sees them outside a bunch or whatever, but he's figuring it out. And and here's where things get strange. I don't know if Kevin's parents just never like this is the this is the height of stranger danger. This is the height of like the Dare program. Like you would think he would know call nine one one, like you would think they would have taught him this, but he he never does the police, never calls the police. Instead, he puts together a war plan, and in sort of a shorter episode, if he called the police of yeah, this event would have been as interesting. So he puts together this war plan to defend his home from the Wet Bandits. He doesn't realize they are the Wet Bandits yet. Meanwhile, his mom is traveling across the world to try to get to him. So she lands in France, and in France, they're like, hey, like, the next flight back to Chicago with the quickest we could get you there is two days, and she's like that's not good enough, and so she starts trying to like trade plane tickets with people manages, which I guess you could do in the nineties. Yeah, that is interesting, Like I don't know if like, could you just do that? Yeah? Could you just be like, hey, I'll give you give your ticket off home alone? Right now? I gotta get back to it. I don't believe you put the gun away. You could have just asked me, I'm not going to give it to you. Is that you are you trying to tell me I have a gun right now? So they so she she manages to get a flight back to the States, but doesn't get to Chicago, and so she starts having to like try to find connecting flights. Long story short, she ends up like going through like she gets back to the States, and then she has to like, there is a you're not gonna believe this. There's a polka band that's on tour. They flew in. I believe in a polka band. I just don't believe in a polka band on tour. I don't know if that's the part that I buy. There's a poke band on tour and they're trying to fly back to Chicago. They like their tours over they're trying to fly back, but they're all the flights were canceled out of whatever airport they ran at the time, and so they decided they were going to rent a U haul and they were all going to sit in the back of the U haul truck and ride back to Chicago. And you can hitch a ride with us with our Poke band, with our Poke band of his you haul. And so she's she agrees to this, but I mean, I mean it's it's a long drive and a in the winter storm. Yeah, so she could get the two days later anyway, it's kind of like just taken the She didn't realize that when she left. I guess yeah. Meanwhile, the rest of the families see in Paris, they're like the good thing Kevin's not here. He would have really ruined. It's actually way should do this? Should we put them up for adoption? Should we get rid of Kevin? Maybe this is bad. Maybe when we go to New York next year we should just hide him. So just leave them there. That's a pretty good idea. So Kevin puts together this battle plan. Okay, and he I mean not gonna lie kind of look up to the plan he put together, Like, he put together this plan where he be trapped the heck out of his house. And so for example, he got like a I don't even know what these are called. Thanks man for I don't know what this? What is this? And someone tell you what this is? I've been triggering too much, jacket milk. I can't figure it out. It opens. That's crazy. You see this epen. It's like a whole new thing. Well, I want to see something crazy. This is the church. Here's the steeple you're opening up. Here's all the people. This, this is the church. Here's a steeple. My gun. People choose a different letters. You can yell it. Why this just came up to me, that's gonna be and asked, why did you be your pants? Okay, stupid, No, they're there are these things. They're like like a it's like a little heating element. Like you plug it in and there's there's just a coil that you use. I don't know what you use it for. You use it to heat stuff. I don't know, I'm not sure what it's. Okay, it's just a heating element. So you put this heating element on the door, so the door knob got super hot. Yeah, burn you. And then like in his comes home, Let's say say the Polka pan arrives and now it's like she comes inside, she open, she gets the door opens inside the door, he had put all of his matchbox cars around the floor, so like you slip on the cars, f on the floor. She falls and yeah, he breaks her arm. Yeah, And so he does stuff like that, like at every doorway there's cars or the glass Christmas orb ornaments by every windows. Like you climb in, you're you're stepping on ornaments and breaking those. He also like the stairs, the stairs up to the front porch and the stairs down to the back, like they had one of those back basement cellar doors. He sprayed down with water so froze and got all icy. Oh, he's like, here's your calling card. Yeah, wet bandit's more like slip bandits slippy boys. Slippy boys. And then like he uh, the basement stairs. This is like particularly diabolical. He up the basement stairs. He like tarred them so they were super sticky. So if you stepped on him and like pulled your shoes and your socks off of them all the way up until eventually like he like counted, I guess it was smart. One shoe, one shoe, one sock on sock, one shoe, one sock, and then it was just a nail. So you just step right. That's the quiet place is in that movie. No, did the monsters do it in that movie. No, the monsters didn't do it. But she steps on the nail and he supposed to be quiet, you know, she steps on the nail and she's that's rough. Yeah, that's really rough. Yeah, they didn't have to be quiet, though, I mean would be smarter too. Luckily they were yelling quiet letters. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you like this one. We've got a lot of great past episodes that you can check out. One of my recent favorites is Frank Abagneil Junior. It's the dude from the movie Cast Me if you can, and it's the story about how he scammed everybody into a really big scam. There's one scam that's like the scammingest of scams I've ever heard someone scam. So check that one out. It's it's a fun one. I like it a lot. But thanks for being here. They've broken the house. Then they did get in. They kind of split up and so they found different ways in because because they quickly realized, like this house is booby chapped, and so they split up to try to find different ways in. And it was just like, one at what point do you give up? Though? You know, like, at what point you're trying to rob us? You've already got so many other houses in the neighborhood because it's a issue for these guys. I think it is I have let me see. Oh, I do have a picture of them. This is I think this photo was taken the night of the arrest. But it's strange because they're not like it's not like a mug shot. And it's also they're not in the squad car, so I don't know if the police were like, hey, say cheese, but this is the two guys. Oh my gosh, wait, this guy looks at that dude from my cousin Vinnie, is kind of looksrettys a lot like him. This guy looks like, uh, oh gosh, what's on his face? So there was a hot iron that got dropped on his face at one point while they were in the house. The other guy, he actually that he had a blowtorch burned the top of his bean. That's why his bean looks like that. And he actually fed like tartan feather like those jokes, Like he gave it a room and I think it was like a like a floor fan that he's set up with, like like he rigged with a bunch of feathers and so like it was like honey, I think. So he got covered in the honey and then the feather the feathers got blown all over them. And how does it end? Though? I mean like like so, I mean, how many different traps should go through? This is what I'm saying about these burglars. Why you could just quit any time you could just go this is not worth it. So he created this double a match box. It's kind of over it's kind of like, yeah, we got to get this kid. It's kind of like getting maced, Like if you make me, I'm just going to attack you harder. Okay, let's put that on the internet. That was my line. That's why you maced me. That's what I said that led to you macing me was attack me harder. Yeah, that's what I said. I said, I don't think that's a real form of self defense. I think if you make me, I'm just going to attack you. And let's see. Yeah, then we learned, and we learned. It's a very good Now see what happens after? So he leads them through this house of terrors essentially sure, and he's very clearly like orchestrating their movements. It's like a haunted house. It's like it's like you're going to do this booby trap and it's going to lead you here. It's going to lead you here, all leading them up to the attic like he chases. He has them chase him up up the stairs and he hangs paint cans from like some ropes that swung down and like hit him in the face while they were coming up the stair. Like crapy stuff gets them to chase them all the way up to the attic. Who cleans all this up? The fire department? Right when stuff like this happens, the fire departments, right right, I come home, I go. I would have rather than just flooded the house. Kevin, like, all this stuff is protected by insurance. You do him? Do this? Just call nine one. Oh, I couldn't remind Kevin, you're just lexing. I called one nine nine and the guy said, stop calling me. He's like, hey, leave me along, leave me alone. This is a common mistake people make. Nor Rad the literal Air Force shows up. Yeah, they air strigged his house. Yeah, we him target acquired, We got target, destroy target a little bit. Yeah, k comes home. It's literally a crator. Yeah. What did he do? Kevin's thought him. I tried to take care of the house really good. I did some broken ornaments. I did some matchbox cars. I have one of them. He got hit in the face of the iron and then I called it an air strike from the United States Air Force. We bumped that out of Oh. But you know what, though, maybe he didn't call the police because he thought because the because the guy guy was a cop, yeah, and he thought they were dirty. Maybe he thought that if he called the police, they'd be like, yeah, we freaking know, what did you call my house getting broken into it? They're like, oh, we know, we know you should just we know, we're aware. Our best guys out there, all right, So what happened? So he gets them to chase him up to the attic where he had set up a zipline from the attic to his treehouse. Okay, and uh, they chase him up there. He's like, he's like, I'm gonna go to the treehouse and call nine one one. I'm calling the cops. You better stop me. And he ziplines to the treehouse. And when you're in a zip line, not like this like I'm doing. I went to a main event the other night. They have a small zip line it's like forty feet the ropes course stuff yeah yeah, And I've done like a rubs course at youth camps and I was like, I'm not going to do that. I can't do that. And then the guy who's like a little bigger than I am, Uh, he goes, I do it, and then he ran up there and this guy, the guy, he acted like he lived on the ropes course because like me and Ray are the only ones up. There's a Monday night, it's a slow night at main event, and we're like going, you know, we're doing our shoot, you know, and this guy is just like like a freaking you see nach leb Yeah, right, you know the girl crossed through the tunnels, that's what he looks like, just freaking. Then you'd be like he's just and he's over on the other side, and you're like, what the heck and he just what the heck. So then I'm like kind of looking at it and he just like appears he's like I'll do it, Okay, okay, and he's like I'm like, I'm bigger than you are. He said, you can do it. I was like, ok right, and then he went and then so that forty feet was terrifying for me. Yeah, this is a similar situation, except for it's it's a zipline and he built himself that afternoon. Yeah, and this is like if I fall, I'm going to get a really good I kind of wanted to. Yeah, I got to pay some debt main events gonna I'm gonna assume him. He built it using the handlebars from his bike, and so he oh, he hooked that up on this rope and just ziplined across to uh his his treehouse. And he talked about it in like a news report and he said that was the one part that he wasn't very confident in, Like he was like, he's like, I didn't know if that was going to work. I was very scared. And it did. He made it, and like it was like I'm calling the cops, like coercing them to crawl across the zip line. And so he waited for them to get up on the zip line and they're like shimming. They don't have a zipper on the line. They're just climbing the zip line from the attic to the treehouse. He waits for them to get about to the middle of the line and then reveals that he had set the hedge clippers up there that he's clipping the hedges with. And so he gets out there and he clips the lines. They swing back. You've got a sophisticated system for burger rising homes. And then a nine year old child is looking you in the eye holding your destiny, and just that hurts more than any physical pain that could have taken place. I mean, the even beat beat hard at this point, like they are in bad in a bad situation, and so they swing back into the house. He climbs out of the out of the the treehouse and he runs across the street to a neighbor's house who he knew was also out of town, and he breaks into this house. It's also here's the thing, here's the thing. He runs into this other house, breaks into this house. Uh, the bandits had already hit this house. It's flooded, and so they had already broken into the He didn't know that. So he breaks in there and he goes to try to get to a phone because here's that was the problem. It is like he set up this whole play like he was going to call the cops from that treehouse. But it's a treehouse. There's no phone there, so he has to go get to a phone. And finally, after this whole like event of him leading them on and like having them chase he has the upper hand, they finally like are like they at smart them, and so they go through the back door while he's going through the front door and they can catch up. He can't sneak up on them, you know what I'm saying, Like they're just like what the o trying to swim? It's not deep enough they trying to swim. It's like an inch. He's just like, I'm swim what are you doing? Can get off the floor? So uh, they catch him and they Kevin says that they picked him up and they hung him like buy his coat on a coat rack, and they're like threatening to like bite his fingers off or something crazy like it was like what kind of crazy? Like you know, a lady did that to my brother at Subway once. This is a real story. There was a lady at my hometoad. There's a lady at my hometown who we all we all knew she was insane, all right, but she would just go around town. She would ride along with the newspapers in her yard. Oh I have told you about her. She had like they're hanging from her trees and stuff. Yes, yeah, okay, okay, but I only I've said that on the podcast before. Ye like you did to go by her house. All her windows are covered in newspaper. She got newspaper clips hanging from the tree like freaking ornaments or whatever, like outside of her house. Just yeah, oh yeah. But she'd ride around town on her bike and then if you were just anywhere near, she'd scream at you and she'd be like right, but she's the most lookable that person you ever seen. She want to look. You told me about her because I saw her at You did see her, yes, and you were like, there's this crazy lady. And I was like, see, that's crazy, I said, I said, why is there a mannequin out front? Right? And I was like, no, that's a real person and she's crazy. She did not move. I'm not even kidding when I say she didn't even flinch. Like she was out there. I pulled up, I saw her standing there. Yeah, and like I walked past her, walked in, she didn't even move, walked out, walk past he again, she didn't move, and I backed up and I remember staring at her and being like, why did they put this out here? She hates me? Look because she was at Subway and my brother was four at the time, and he's clearly a four year old who looks at someone who looks insane and goes and she turns and goes, you don't quit, look at me, I'm gonna break your fingers off, like straight up said that. So pretty similar scenario. Similar anyway, So they hang them up, threatening to bite his fingers off. Luckily, and this was like just a pure stroke of luck. The neighbor of that house had heard the commotion when Kevin cut that wire, cut the zip line and looked at the window to see two guys swinging from this cut zipline across the house looking like they got beat to death. And then they sees Kevin run out and run into that house looking all afraid. So he grabs a snowshovel and follows him in and sees them catch Kevin, and he just bogs him on the back of the head with the snowshovel. Had already caught the cops and so like knocks them out, grabs Kevin. The police show up, they arrest the wet bandits, and Kevin survives the whole encounter. Ironically, Kevin was afraid. This was the neighborhood. Neighbor in the neighborhood that Kevin was afraid, Like everyone was like, oh, he's a murderer, Like oh, it was like the guy that was the scary guy in the neighborhood. Yeah, it'd be like if the bike lady saved me, she comes up on her bike and doesn't they have you ever seen police training with her bike and they did that they go back up, you know, like if the lady came I'm dying. You heard those videos from twenty twenty two or there's sorry protests and all of a sudden, these breaking bike squads were like, we're intimidating, and you're like, you're not intimidating. When you wear a bike out, you're gonna put away. Kevin spends the next day cleaning the house up, decorating for Christmas, and like gets it turned around just in time for his mom to show up. Wait, do the police not? Are the police not? Like? Where are your parents? Police are just like feel free to go home? Parents? Got the police, get the West the web bandits and they go, all right, thanks for your statement. Do you got somebody you can go or you can't say here? I mean you get you gonna go home tonight? Or all right in Chicago Fish to fry kid, Yeah, goes home and so his mom comes home, His mom comes home. The next day, his mom comes home the next day, he's sleeping upstairs. She gets home early in the morning. She goes, he's been a sleeping the whole time. Well, she gets in the house and the house is clean. The house, the Christmas decorations are up. They didn't even decorate for Christmas. They were so excited for this trip. He decorates her Christmas first Grinch to the house, and so he decorated. Like she wakes him up and he goes, it was a dream the whole time, and that Yeah, she gets there, she finds him. He tells her everything that happened, and like she goes, okay, She's like, all right, let's the we'll schedule doctor's appointment for this week and see what's going on in that man showed up. She's like, we're throwing away all the bend trill. And then just as like he's they're coming downstairs. He's telling her all about this. The front door opens and the rest of the family got home, Like they got on that two day flight. The flight that was two days later, and they got home like pretty much the same time as her. Yeah, and I mean for them, it was kind of just like a mistake, Like the family didn't like, there was no charges or anything against anyone in the family, but it is kind of like a man, you guys put your kid in a rough spot. Yeah, so like there was kind of a public like backpack of like yeah, like what you idiots? Yeah, because they, I mean, they really did put their kids in a rough spot. But he did catch the wet bandits, who was a pretty hairy problem for the town for a while. So wow. Yeah, this is the story of how Kevin McCallister saved Christmas. I guess I don't know how he did it. Well, he fiddled off those bandits. How he did it? Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you liked it, you can subscribe or watch some more episodes or some clips. But then I need to make this like twenty seconds. My producer said it has to be longer, so I'm just gonna keep talking for a little bit and is this long enough? Connor? Okay, cool? Yeah, thanks for being here.


The podcast tells the story of Kevin McCallister, a young boy who gets accidentally left behind when his family goes on a Christmas trip to France. While home alone, Kevin has to fend off two burglars called the “Wet Bandits,” who are trying to rob his house. Kevin sets up creative booby traps like heating doorknobs, putting ornaments by windows, … Read More

Harry Houdini – The Mysterious Life and Death

12-12-23

Episode Transcription

Made by robots for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey man, what's up? Have you ever heard of Harry Houdini? Oh? Really have you? Oh? Sorry? No? Yeah, you could have been a bake bobber and a really good one. This next number is dedicated to a lot of children with cancer. It's a angel joke, which was the contortionistness, contortion, contortioning, contocity, contortionortionality, miscontortions, contortional things I learned last night. Yeah, yeah, Oh, we're gonna I here's what I want. I want this to be a story where you buried the lead on something and you lead me on Harry Houdini. But it's really about like some obscure guy who made the safe and like killed him. You know, well, I mean I guess there that kind of will happen technically, all right, what happened? What are we tiring? Here? Are we talking? Houdini? We're talking? Wi? Oh nice Harry. Oh anyway, I was gonna say, we could make a movie where it's like all these different people were conspiring to kill him. Yeah, it's a Whodini? Who done it? Who Done it? Yeah? That's good? Isn't that all right? Who done? Who? Who DEI done it? What if you put it together? It was just who who do need? Okay, so you were like, what did you put it together? It's just who done it? And then you had a panic. You were like, I mean I have a panic. That was the joke and you didn't acknowledge it. So I was like, well, yeah, it's the joke. Due, we'll just keep going. That's what I text. Who are you texting? You're supposed to leave your phones off the set. This is a no phone set. I don't have my phone on the set. We don't want anyone to know we used Apple products. Okay, go ahead. Have you seen Facebook's news glasses the ray Bands? No? What is it for scrolling when you're on the go. Yeah, they're they're like augmented reality glasses. They're ray Band brand. They're actually kind of cool. They have like they play your music, so they're like air bot, air PUDs, air air buds, airblods. Okay, they're like air buds. Sure, So they play music and you can answer your calls and talk through whatever right there. Okay, but then there is a little screen that like so you can it's augmented reality, so it doesn't like take over your whole display like you're supposed to like feed you weather and like feed you maps, Like while you're on Maps is supposed to show you the route and stuff on the street and then and it's free because the other lens is a Domino's pizza. I would do it. It's free, you know it? Yeah, I mean my whole my left eye, but let's be honest, have to do I use my left eye anyways. And I'm like, this is what this is what the pirates were, like, that's what the pirates had behind those patches. It was just freaking a buye to get four. And you're like, this is a very complicated way buy two gift for pain to express. And you're like, okay, have you seen that promotion, the gas station promotion in Chicago. This is a no phone zone anyway. As I was saying, tell you about this promotional, hold on, no, this is really good. Okay, hold on, I'm gonna find this. What are you doing? Are you texting me right now? No? I'm scrolling social media. No, this is gonna be where that I probably an open TikTok and see what the first video I got is. Let's see Okay, listen to this. You are a kidnapper. That's a good one. You're not a kidnapper. Did you see that? My boy? She just walked up to she walked up to a van and was like, you're not a kidnapper. My mom said people and vans were kidnappers. And he's like, no, not me. And he's like, I walked all the way over here to not kids. Take it. He's like, shot, shut up, get out of here, scram No, this is this I would have been if you hadn't said that you spiled My cover is obvious. Oh I like the idea that he's having the exoc crisis too. You're a kidnapper. Yes, yes, I'll prove to you. Don't tell a good kidnapping bit to start an episode. I love it. No, Okay, there's a Milwaukee, not Chicago. Okay, so the Milwaukee Bucks. They announced a promotion where if the Bucks scored ninety five points before the end of the third quarter, you can go to a Quick Trip and use your Quick Trip Rewards card to buy an eighteen, twenty four or thirty pack of michelob Ultra, and by doing so, you'll receive thirty cents off each gallon of gas. The kicker. The kicker is that there's not a quick trip within the city limits of Milwaukee. Oh yeah, it's like two hours outside the city. So if the Bucks do well, you can go buy a lot of beer and then get thirty cents off your gas essentially. Yeah, but I mean like they're basically paying your gas to get out to them, right, I mean, it's not very far out from Milwaukee. It's not like it's like I mean, it's in the suburbs. You got to go out into the sub but it's not like it's like they're in a different state. It'd be like, I mean, that's true. If the Chiefs win today, you get a free burger in and Out and you're like their closest one is Denver, Colorado. That's a different promotion. You see what I'm saying. It's not like a free burger. It's like it's like if the Chiefs win today. It's not even if they win and we'll pay for your gas. If the Chiefs get thirty five at least thirty five points, sure, then at in and Out, if you buy animal style fries, then we'll give you thirty cents off of merch at in and Out. Like, it isn't a ridiculous promotion. Like there's too many steps. There's too many steps. But I'm not gonna lie. I want to redeem them. You booked a Southwest flight to Milwa I'm on my right, I'm good. Okay. Last time I went to Milwaukee, I flew in the same night that the honor flight did, right, and so I where they take Yeah, yes, where they it's a it's a lot. Like it's a lot like you know when you're when you're a kid, if you sell enough in the in the fundraiser and they get you a limo to the pizza place. It's like that. But it's for World War Two veterans. And they fly them to the memorial. Oh no, do you not know about? Then it's a free flight where they take them to the memorial and then they all go that was my friend and then they and so they look at all the names and stuff. That's crazy they still do that. How many World War Two vets are there? Still? Not as many as there used to be. That's why it's a bigger deal when they do it. Yeah, but they do honor flights. Yeah, and well they do it for other wars too, now, like they do it like you know Vietnam. Yeah, there's I mean, there's always going to be and they can take them. They take the Vietnam vets now and they take them to the memorial and take them around d C and be like, this is what you fought for and whatever for. Well, anyway, I flew home at the same time, and so I get off the plane and like freaking. The high school band is they're going judg you know. So it's like freaking, but like there's people, but there's also a group of protesters. For some reason, they let them in the airport. Don't they go through security? No? No, no, no, Like they're waiting right outside. Yeah, and I hear it. I get off the planet ice here echoing down the halls. What is going on out and they're like cheering but not for me. Yeah, you know, I'm working around like which normally happens for you when you get off plane, that does. And that's what I was resenting about it. I was like, just like, I hate you're giving this to those olds back then, none of these guys Amazon Prime Comedy special. Yeah yeah, anyway, No, I was that today. Actually, I was thinking about that day, the forward marching of time and how it just doesn't stop, and how stressful it is because on time off, on time off, there came a picture from your promo shoot at the Galoys five years ago today. Yeah, who years? Holy cow? Yeah, that's I know. I was thinking that tool. That's what COVID did. COVID was a blob of time that didn't exist. Yeah, but still like two months and seven years. Yeah, it's stole our twenties, it did. It did want for the twenties you fuck got a freaking again. No, but did I mean like we were we were twenty four when COVID started. Jeez, No, we were twenty twenty. We were twenty five, No, twenty six. I had just turned twenty six. You hadn't even turned twenty six at your birthday was in COVID, you're right, yeah, and then when it was over, we were twenty eight around we were twenty eight, and then freaking you didn't work at a church anymore, you barely believe in God, and we made it through. You know what I'm saying, Like it was so it's like seven years of time passed in also what felt like two months. So I mean, like it doesn't That's what I'm saying, you know, I filmed the special five years ago. I was like, shoot, I haven't filmed the new special in five years. I need to put a new one out. Yeah, so crazy because I did my first one twenty fourteen, did my second one twenty fifteen, and I did my third one twenty eighteen, and yeah, I was like, shoot, I need to get a new special. I mean I did a dry bar but then kind of counts. Okay. So Harry Hudini he was born in eighteen seventy four as Eric Weiss, but Eric is changed that name. Yeah, it's pronounced eric, he didn't change it, So we'll get to that. He was born in Hungary and him and his family when he was a youth, arrived to the United States in eighteen seventy eight. So he was you do you you know, like four years old, okay, and when he was on Ellis Island, the I guess this was something that they did back then. The Americans at the immigration office were like, yeah, your names, you're not going to work here. Oh yeah they did, yeah, and so call you Wece no yeah, yeah, so they actually anybody got any crazy ideas for this name? Writ in that damn here's somebody. I'm gonna start with H and D. I'm gonna go dog for a last name. We can't call him hot boy. What's the next closest thing, Beanie. No, you gotta change the turn the turn the be around, turn the be around. Dean. Wow, that that's a that's a strong name. Kid. Welcome to America, you know. And he didn't speak a lick of English, had no idea what just happened? Yeah, yah, yeah, And everybody just came hungry and they were like, here's food. No, no, no, hungry and uh so they stamped his hand. They told him, don't wash your hands. If that ever washes off, we have to kick you out of there. An m in permanent marker on his hand for minor that'll wash off when you turn eighteen. There you go. It's magic Marter speaking of magic. Uh he didn't have a lot of that in his early life. It was four. He came out of the roomb like that was my first trick. I was in there the whole time. That was my first escape. We're doing a lot more of these, just you for my next trick. This next number is dedicated to a lot of children with cancer. It's a Chris Angel joke. It's a Chris Angel joke. Don't write that Angel does that. Chris Angel does that if you don't know. Yeah, gives kids cancer for the next trick anyway. Yeah, so then he uh so, his family came to the country expecting a better life and then didn't really find it. Yeah. His dad as a minister, so that didn't pay well, and his mom didn't work, and so him and his brothers, as soon as they were able, all started working. Okay, and his brothers found normal jobs like working in factories and grocery stores. He he became a contortionist. Yeah. And so he's like six years old and he is on stage somewhere a six year old like what Yeah, so they called him, uh Eric the Prince, okay, and so he would just roll up on stage and be like, look at that kid, a weird kid. I'll get you ten dollars, like that's just what it was. But he got pretty like good in New York. Yeah, he's in New York contortioning, and he got into acrobatics and started doing like actual like sharpees and things like that, and that's when things kind of blew up for him. Nine to what's the situation. It's six year old ends up just being like, you know, how do you you fall into that kind of line of work? Yeah, I don't know how you fall into that. Like or it's like his his siblings come home from the grocery store and they're like a long day at the shop, mom and dad. He'd be quiet, he's resting up before he goes. He's stretching contortions, he's getting ready to he's gonna go contort over on the south side. Well, they were all going to work one morning and he kind of separated from the group, walked up with his van and he's like, you're not a kidnapper, was like, hey, roll up at a ball real quick. Hey you other than that kid that disappeared in a swamp, get over here. Took him. Uh so yeah, so he uh uh. He got into acrobatics, started doing like trapeze work and stuff like that, and they added on his name. He became Eric the Prince of the Air, and started becoming like, uh had a not famous but had a successful New York show and so like he was pretty much the bread winner for the family. All the other siblings. Quick they started motion off of him. Time he's up there contorting, one of them was doing TikTok dances on the other side and being like freaking or like, we freaking hate this guy. Everybody hated his wife until she became friends with that one singer. Yeah. Everyone, well, I mean hate on her because she cheers on her husband. Oh my gosh, yeah I get it. Yeah, so the same exact scenario. He also was like a cross country runner, but not like across the country, just cross countries. I understand how those it works, just making sure. Yeah, and so you know whatever. In high school he started getting pretty interested into magic, and he found a guy named after the name of Robert Houdin, who was a magician in the eighteen hundreds. Uh read his autobiography and was just captivated by the idea of magic. And so he starts getting really into uh slider hand and stuff. Yeah, slide of hand, close up magic card tricks like that and really yeah, a little bit worth while. Well here's the deal, what did you really was your shoe right now? Hold on? I don't know. Took me way too long. I was like, hold on, we can cut that, we can just cut it together to make it smooth. Yea, we could do that foot back in here. Nice, let's face in the road way. It feels weird. Nice. There you go. So he got into uh, close up magic, and then he got into picking locks, which I don't know if it was related to the magic thing. It kind of seems like he was just like, I wonder if I could do that, and he started picking locks. And there's one biographer was like, there was a moment where his career could have gone either way. Say he's got he's got like he's got one in the red. Yeah, he's like, I'm Harry Houdini, the the lifelong magician and illusionist, or Harry Houdini criminal, Harry criminal. Yeah, he could have been a bank robber, and a really good one. Like, because here's the deal. I mean, I don't know. If you know a lot about Harry you're listening to this episodes, you're about to learn. But one of the things spoiler alert, he gets really good at escape magic, and like one of his things is breaking out of straight jackets and handcuffs and things like that. I think if he was arrested in jail, he would have made it out. Oh yeah, So he had a moment where it was like he could he could pursue a life of crime. He could become a bank robber picking locks of safes and then yeah, but he wanted a taste of the glory, which I mean there's glory, fame. Yeah. How many bank robbers do you know? Uh, Bunny and Clyde, great team. Oh yeah, so that's two right there. There you go, that's a double let's see uh dB twober Okay? Successful? Uh successful for a time, Like I mean that's the thing, Like everybody loses games every once in a while, you know, like you gotta have losses on your record. What's unfortunate is that the police don't let him go out for another like they like they catch them and then they put them away for life, you know, like give another shot to see if they could do it without getting cam Like, let's see if they can get away. Not a lot of trial and the trial and error is what you're saying, yeah, or wrong kind of trial? I guess yeah you so, Okay, So he decides to not be a criminal. Yeah, he decides to not be a criminal, and so he becomes a magician and he starts starts out doing out of like a deep sense of like I want to do the right thing, or just like I think he was just more interested in I think I think it was kind of an opportunity for him to kind of put together some of his skills, which was the contortionistness, condortion contortioning, contortionity, contortion etortionality, contortionality, miscontortionalitcontortionality. Thank you. He can put that skill to work, He could put his lockpicking to work, and he could do the close up magic, and he kind of like he was obsessed with this Robert Houdin guy, like, Yeah, it was like an idol to him. And so he's like he's like, I want to do him proud. I want to I want to be able to rise to the level he was at. And I think he did too because from a young age he was doing like he was performing, and so I think he loved that like rush of like being in front of the crowd and feeding off their energy and all that that the glory, you know. Yeah, Yeah, he loved coming off of an airplane and having everybody in the airport. Yeah, It's it's something you can't you can't, you know, you can't. You have to experience it. For yourself. There's no way to prepare yourself for that. Yeah, there's nothing else that compares, not even bank robbery. So him and his brother sidebar. His older brother's dead now, so that's a fast forward in the story. His oldest brother died tuberculosis Christmas Eve. It was really sad his younger brother dashed though, But that Dash wasn't his birth name. That was his United States. That's the country game. There's like, you got a kid running around. Yeah, the kid's too quick dash. Yeah, well you've got Donner and that works that. This episode comes out in December, right, it does, it does? Yeah, all right, that's a good time a little bit. Yeah. So no, his name was Theodore. The state gave him the name Theodore. But uh, they decided when they became magicians, they were like Eric and Theodore Weiss, not magical names, and so they decided they needed to come up with magic names. So Eric said, I'll go by Harry because a couple. I'll go by Harry because uh, well you know, well you went by Harry because mustache. His family called him Airy, which was sure for Eric no short for Eric, Okay, And so his family called him airy yeah, because too too long. It's too long of a name. Every time I say Eric, I go, god, shoot, how am I supposed to get to the end of that? If you did air, that's one thing you did airy, You're like, you're good there, you're done. You're so just do the that's it, and that's the name. I don't get that. My dad used to do that to my brother. My brother's name is Josh, and he would go Jah, because he was like, he's like, you can't hear this. It's it's it's like it's too quiet, you can't even hear it. So why am I saying it? And wait? Your dad was just like I don't want to say it. Just say it. He goes, no, I don't want to He only did it, all right, jo. He never did it like in a face to face conversation. It was like if he was calling him from across the house, You're like, hey, Jah, like because he was like, he's like, he's not going to hear this. Like you can't yelsh, Yes, yes you can. Librarians famously yell it. It's like they're a whole thing. Yeah. There was debates in our household about that for years. All right, anyway, let's go to Okay, whatever you can't yell him? M is not a yellow said? You didn't hear it from this far apart? Why would I say it across the road? See it's not yellow. It's not a yellow M. It's not a yellole. Librarians yell that one a lot too. What does that mean? Are you waterboarding a librarian? What is that? What's the bit? I don't get it. I don't either. I think that's kind of the glory of it, Like you don't know, like you couldn't do it. You're enjoying it, and you're enjoying tillan you've been around for a little bit. I want to invite you to be a part of our patreon. We have a Patreon that has early access to all of our episodes ad free content, both audio and video. We have a discord with our host and producers. That's a ton of fun getting to hang out with all of our patrons in there. We also do once a month now we do these live streams with our patrons. We hang out, we get to know each other, we eat pizza. It's a blast. Along with a bunch of other benefits like merch discounts, message on your birthday, like fun stuff. It's definitely worth it. We're having a blast with our patrons. But if that doesn't sound like something for you, they get that heck out of here. Just kidding, No, we love you. Thanks for checking out podcasts. How do they how do they get it? Though? I realized I forgot to put a C T A in mind. Oh yeah, they can text Tillan to six six eight sixty six. Thanks jaring. So Harry and his brother Harry, Harry and his brother, or I should say Eric and THEO. They're like, we need we need our magic Theodore. Yeah, yeah, THEO. That makes sense. THEO following his brother's footsteps and got into magic. By the way, they've been doing it together for years, and they decided to put together Harry and well it's Eric and THEO. But they're like, we need better names. And so Harry or Eric says, hey, I'm a big fan of this Robert Houdan guy. And he thought that Houdan, uh like if in what I think Houdan was French, Yes, And so he thought Houdine in French, if you put an eye at the end of a letter, it meant like respect. It doesn't. He was wrong, but he thought and so he was like, he's like, I want to be Hoodini because it's me showing respect to Houdine. But I think it actually, I think it actually means like serves or like you're they're your master. So it's kind of similar, I guess a similar idea. And then he took his abbreviation airy and just made it in the literation Harry Harry and Harry Houdini. Well, I mean, I don't know, I don't hear a difference. You can't hear the stupid You can't yell that letter. I very yell at all the time. They're like three most favorites yells sh I don't know why THEO chose Dash. He just did, Okay, And so they started calling themselves Harry and Dash the brothers Hudini was what they went by. And they went to the Chicago's World Fair and eighteen ninety three and bowed down to the Great Tartaria for a little while. Yeah, and then they started working magic shows together. Uh, and Dash was kind of like Harry's assistant like everything that, Like I don't think this was a thing in this era, like assistant, like magic assistance. But everything you think of a magic assistant today, like that was who Dash was for Harry. Yeah, he even wore he even wore like a really revealing outfit, so provoked, so tight. And so they did this show for a year and they actually found like decent best answer. But he did it, you know, for his brother, for his brother. Yeah, he just believed. So they for about a year they had this show, The Chicargos the World for then went back to New York. They had the show in New York and it was a successful New York show. Again, not world famous, nothing super special, but a successful New York show and they were making decent money doing it. They met another performer in New York by the name of Okay, will Helmina Beatrice best Runner. Oh, she went by Best for short. Yeah. Dash and her started dating. Oh they and that's how Houdini or Harry met bess Is through her his brother Dash. Upon meeting each other, they immediately decided to date each other instead. So Best left Dash and and just a few months later, uh, they decided that the show would be better if Best was his assistant instead of Dash as well. So it's dude, Okay, So imagine that scenario, right, So your girlfriend chooses your brother over over you, and then your brother chooses her over you. You just got rejected by two people who chose each other over you. You and in two totally different ways. Yeah, that doesn't feel brutal. That's pretty brutal. Yeah, And so they I get why he made that safe now. So they they started performing together for the next like five years, and then they had their big break in eighteen ninety nine, okay, and they got put on a show in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and a guy by the name of Minnesota. They were traveling like internationally doing this. I mean, that's not okay, it's so far away. That's your joke. I get it. That's I mean, it's a cross country almost. I hear he ran the whole trip. But I mean, like, you know why they went out there too. They went out to the Saint Paul, Minnesota because they had just used to score thirty five points that weekend and they were like, we gotta go on to Minnesota. They met a theatrical performing manager by the name of Martin Beck who saw him do a one of his handcuff acts handcuff escape tricks. And was like, well, boy, I think that'll sail. It's so crazy how how magicians went from very respected and like we got to get these guys, all of us, to you know what they do now, or it's just like they come to school assemblies and they're like, oh, I'm all tied up, I can't get out. Wait you know, yeah, you fix that. You know. It's just like a little pulling this thing for me real quick. Yeah. Well, because we figured it out, you know, we figured out back then we were like here's a witch. Yeah, because well here's the thing with even Hoi Houdini's early escape tricks. He would do behind a curtain because it was like, hey, I'll put myself with these cuffs up, come out without him and you'll be amazed. And people were they were like, oh my gosh, how do you do that? And so he had a key. But then uh Dash when they were performing together, was like, hey, I think this will do better if you do it in front of them, like let him watch you struggle. And he was like really you think so, and he's like yeah, they struggle. They tried it and it was like a hit. People were like, holy god, what was that we saw? The whole thing. We've never seen the whole thing before. That's interesting, okay, yeah, and then uh and then I guess and all the guys that were actually using keys were like, what the heck dude, now they like put up the curtain in the crowds, like, let us watch you know, I don't want to see it. I want to see it in my own eyes. These people keep yelling unyellable letters at me. You're not supposed to yell those letters, crowd. It's just like a weird like, hum, oh, that's pretty weird. It's the weirdest thing ever, you know, if you're going to do them all for you at the same time, that's like a terrannosaurs reck sounded like, try it, try it, try it. There are four people in their cars right now listening to this podcast who just went and you're stupid. That's so funny that you did that, you idiot. So they went on tour and and it blew up. Yeah, crushed. And around this time something interesting happened. Him and Dash developed this public feud, Yes, public feud. Yeah, and Dash started going by Dash Houdin spelled h o U d e e N and he would go wherever Harry went, he would play another theater in town, so like usually a slightly smaller theater, but he would play another theater in town and just away from it. Well, some historians have asked some questions about this, and they said, knowing Harry and knowing because one of the biggest things he's famous for now is his work as a publicist, which we'll get into in a second about some of the things he did. But he knew how to draw a crowd, and he knew how to stir up excitement for his show. Sure, And so I think there's there's a whole camp of historians who believe that there was never a real feud between him and Dash, that it was all made up to create this polarization and in one end, create two separate fan groups that were like devoted to the two sides. But in the other end, like they recognized that Harry was going to go do a show at the theater and sell it out, and there'd be people who couldn't make it, or there'd be people who would see Houdine and think, oh, that's Houdini and just buy tickets to the other show. And so it opened them up to a whole other audience and allowed them to kind of double dip a show every night. Okay, so I freaking hate you for what you know, what you did. But yeah, yeah, it's all it's all the Yeah, it's the way I yell. Yeah, I'm going to start. I'm gonna start following you. I'm going to follow the Smoking Hot Life Tour and I'm gonna do another show. I'm gonna follow to Berlin, Maryland on February second. You can go to the Smoking Hot Life Tour. You can come to My Smoking Hot Wife and it's just you and Bree. Now it's just me and I do both of your sets. I do your sets for Batim, both of you. Well, even Shama set is going to be pretty awkward for you to do. It's a lot about race, and so it's it's quite a bit about having a white wife, you know. So I mean, like I do have a white wife, those jokes will work for you. I mean, I guess if you go out there and you're like my white wife, you know, like freaking' I don't think the set's gonna work the same. I love this idea, but I'll wear I'll wear his suit and then I'll change into some weird hype beast thing that I got from hype beast? Is that what you think I'm wearing. No, it's like it's like it's like if it's like if uh here, here's uh It's like if a youth pastor mm hmm liked the hype piece style that all of his students dressed in but shopped at J C. Penny. That's what I wear. Yeah, I don't think so. I mean this is a little different because this is merch that you got from a church. If you're wearing church merch, you lean a little bit more. What do you think my style has been lately? It's church merch or old Maybe this is what it always is. No, it's gotten so much better. Okay, okay, I'm glad. I live in La Now, I'm glad. I'm glad. It's been so long as I've seen you. I'm so glad. Oh gosh, these past few weeks have been a dream. Don't don't at the same time as me. Sorry, do it again? Practicing the show m Leave Me Alone, The Smoking Life Tour, so Houdini and Best they got married, married, Stitch fixed, Thank you very much. I was trying to remember what that was called. Yeah, I knew you were one of those those package people comes in a box. Yeah, I keep it prepackaged clothes. Yeah. Okay, do you ever see you make your own? Yeah, make all my own clothes. This was my own design. Cool. So him and his wife they got married. They got married really fast. I think it was like a month into dating. They were like, we're just gonna get married in best Yeah, him in best. And they had a weird relationship. They had a relationship. It was more like a you know, brother and sister in law kind of relationship. No, it was how longer Best and Dash date? Like a week? It was very different, you know, But how would you feel It's still like it's still like Thanksgiving is weird? Yeah, because you're like you're like, hey, I want to introduce this new girl I've been talking to. And then they get married a month later, Like that's pretty rough, Like, oh man, yeah, still probably the best man though, I guess. Uh so. So they had a weird relationship. He he was obsessed with her and he would write her letters, all love letters all the time. And he actually would write her love letters. Well, they're sitting in the same room. Like he would stop and write her a lot and text each other at dinner all the time, and it's like talk to each other. Hey, you guys, use your mouth. You can do this in real life, right, You guys can just look up and go just say stuff. Yeah, we can make words. I saw this TikTok yesterday. This guy. Okay, this guy was talking about how every animal communicates the same like they all speak the same language. And he showed this. He showed he had this Adobe audition file open with all the animals in a project next to each other, and then he had an it would slow down, so it was like he would play the sound from a pack of birds and then he would slow it down and be like, that's a group of puppies. And then he'd play a group of puppies and he'd like slow it down, and he'd be like, that's a humpback whale. And it did sound pretty similar. It was kind of convincing. But his whole point was like all every animal communicates in the same language. It's all just vibrations, it's all just frequency, and it's like, do you that's what sounds is like we speak that language. It's just yeah, we keep going vibrar. Yeah, dude, I mean like we all speak the same l language. Man, it's just vibes. Where vibe from the vibrations that vibes, Yes, from what you stupid? Sorry? Are you stupid? From you can't yell the word letter? You can't yell that? Stupid idiots stupid? Do you start to commence such a mess? All right? Keep going? Uh? So the whales speak the same language. So they had a relationship. They write letters to each They write letters to each other, and he wrote letters for like thirty years to her of the updates on what their son was doing. They never had a son. He eventually became the president. I always you're saying, my letter, Thomas is hungry, and then she just goes feed Thomas right back. We don't have letters. He wrote her letters, and he'd be like, he'd be like, my dearest best our son today is gone off to college Harvard's. And he just thinks she's gonna list. He's like, she said, I'm Beth, and he goes, hi, Bess. Now she's got a list, and she never has the heart to correct him. Beth. That's what I'm saying. I'm trying to be trying to sensitive. You're sorry to your fift away, then I'm trying to this sucks. That's going apartment. Oh did he and Beth go on tour? Okay? And they go off to Europe. Yeah, they've been pretty successful in the US at this point. They're torn around, they're doing shows, they're selling out. Who Dean is following them everywhere they go, and he's doing some pretty major escape art stuff. And what he does is he'll have a show and he'll do like some street performance before the show, but he always does it in like a grand fashion, his street performance, So he'll go to the theater and then right before the show, he'll walk out and set a brick on the street and then walk back in and everyone's like, I wonder what that's about. And then they try to go in and see the show. That's a callback. I was here. I was just trying to get on. I was trying to get over this episode. I don't want to do this anymore. I wish I could disappear right now. So they went to Europe. They went to Europe, and they they they knew that they were pretty big in the States and they could have a chance of success in Europe. But yeah, well they are now they go to Europe, and so they were like, we got to do something big to kind of get the eyes of the country. So he decides he's going to jump off a bridge with handcuffs on and underwater, pull himself out the handcuffs and swim up and then be like, Hey, come to my show tonight. Oh, this is the PM. This is the show. Yeah, this is the show. Yeah. So he's got to show out at the wow okay, And so he walks out to a bridge and he says, hey, everybody, I'm gonna jump off this bridge. And he puts handcuffs on, and everyone's like, don't do this, and he jumps and everybody watches and he's underwater and he uncuffed himself underwater and something he did. He was but the current has carried him so far from the bridge that he then comes up under a different bridge, has no idea. The people on that bridge are like, oh my god, on the river on the on the first bridge, or like he just died. The people at the first bridge are looking way out into distance, like, hey, guys, I think I see a dolphin over there peeking up out of the water. Is that a turtle? The man overboard. I don't think they have magnifying glasses yet. Oh those are binoculous their hands. This is what people did to focus in. Yeah, it kind of works. It does work a little bit, so they So he does this, this publicity stunt, and back to his preparation. He would prepare, he would put his handcuffs on, he would get in the bath, he would set up a cold bath. This part of his morning would here, you know, part of his hustle, culture, grindset morning. I get in a cold bath and I can't get out till you take these handcuffs off. And so he would lay in the cold bath and he would hold his breath and try to stay under the cold water as long as he could. And he got really good at this, and so a lot of a lot of times in the morning he would lay under this cold bath, like for three and a half minutes, just not holding his breath. Yeah, and so he got really good at holding his breath. And so, but he was better at escaping from handcuffs. And so with this handcuff trick, he could escape from the handcuffs in a matter of seconds, like ten fifteen seconds, he could get out of it. Yeah, And so he fell into this water from the bridge and he got out. I'm almost down there. Yeah for three minutes, just chilling to attract people. Yeah, and then soon yeah. And then eventually when he just yeah, he swam up and everyone's like, oh my gosh, how was he st alive? And they're like, they're like, give me to sell me your tickets right now, I want to come see you. Well, they're all soaking wet, and he's like selling just soggy tickets, the wet, sopping, wet tickets, sop and wet life to did you say tickets are kiss? I can't tell. Oh, sloppy wet got it? Okay. I was like, what are you talking about now? Okay? So this tour goes really well. Sure, oh that's our next tour name, by the way, sloppy white Kiss, sloppy wet Kiss tour. That's pretty funny. So they they the merch is weird. We hose it down before the show. Why is this wet? Why does the writers say you guys need to eight foot tables, four volunteers and a hose. You'll find out. See on February second in Berlin, Maryland. Tickets are still on sale. I'm also selling tickets. Jim's selling his tickets to his tour down the road. We're double dipping, folks, double dip baby, but we're so mad about it. I hate it. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. If you like this and you want more of our show, We've got plenty of other episodes. One of my favorites is Action Park, a super sketchy theme park that was basically overrun by teenagers and they just made the rules. It was in New Jersey. It was a wild story. But we did a whole episode about it, and I think you'd like it. So when you're done with this one, go check out that episode. But for now, back to this one. So, the this tour goes super well. The country realizes it, and by the country, I mean the whole continent of Europe realizes and they're excited. This is so much so that a conspiracy theory was born that he was a spy for the United Kingdom. That I went over there, the Crown realized, Hey, this guy he can escape anything, so if he gets caught, he can escape. He's also very sneaky. He's also small, He's like five foot tall. He's like five foot two. Okay, that's was four seven, which is why they fell in love. I think, Oh they're close, No, because he was tall around her. How tall was his brother? His brother was normal size. Here's him and his brother. Actually, so his brother dwarfed him. Which one's him? Well, whodined's the one in the front? I know, I was joking. Yeah, Dash is literally twice his size. I mean, this is probably a little bit deceiving of a photo based on the way they're sitting. But huh. Here's here's who DENI with best and his mother. Which one's best? The one on the well, I mean it's his left, his left. Yeah, he was actually the caregiver for George Washington. That's pretty crazy. So yeah, big big fan of his mom, big fan of his wife, very publicly publicly, big fan of them both. I don't know what that means, all right too? Yeah, weird updated or updated her on his son? You have a grandchild. Why haven't I met him? He's busy, He's thet busy. He's so busy. Travel ball you have bet monthating Jigger Tree was a big deal. So they they go on this tour and the conspiracy is born that they are he's a spy because he was. He was sneaky, he was little, He could escape from traps, and he had the public persona large enough that no one would ever expect it. He could go perform for presidents and kings and things like that in the royal court. And then while he's there, snoop around in their drawers, see if they got anything sneaky hidden in there, and then get out. No one's ever gonna catch you. Okay, he's so that is allegedly not true. Allegedly, we don't know it. Sure could have been a spy, could have been a spy. There's one historian who says he could have never kept that secret because he was kind of a braggadocious dude. That's not the word. He is super. But I do say my friend Harry Houdini, than he is in fact quite quite bragged do braggado. So they go on, they go on this European tour. They come back, their their world stars. They're traveling all over the world. Yeah, they are at a point now where they're making In the nineteen tens and nineteen twenties, they're making five thousand dollars a week in that day's money seventy thousand dollars a day a week today. So they're rolling in the dough kind of close to what I make. So they do this tour, they do these tours. They're getting make way more after I do this thing in the river this weekend. If you think that was funny, gone to my stand up set because it was funny. You called a fake nine to one. It's like it's like DJ Miller calling in a bomb threat to a train. It's just you guys talk about now you can all press is good breast press is good press. So they he he is continually doing this thing where he wants to be the top. He wants to be someone that no one could ever imitate there by Now there's tons of imitators that are going by names eerily similar, creepily similar to Haidini. The biggest one was Boudini, and that's not a joke. Was his biggest competitor, and he just did the same trick, like, tried to fake Houdini's tricks. So Houdini was consistently trying to one up himself so that way he could stay all all these all the copycats, and there are repetitive journal entries in his journal through the twenties where he took notes saying things along the lines of body can't handle this, need to find something else. Great because he was himself very hard to the limit. Yeah, and he getting older. Speaking of getting older, he was really big on anti aging. I'm trying to find anti aging solutions, okay. And that guy on TikTok. You like that guy on TikTok that looks like a fifty year old yes, and claims that he's not. Yes, Yeah, spending a lot of money to not be fifty, but he looks straight up just like a rich fifty year old guy. He was doing the same thing, except except as the nineteen twenties, and so we haven't figured stuff out as well yet. And this might sound familiar to you, but he became close friends with someone who was working on an experimental monkey gland surgery that was a little bit more pronounced than our friend who did the goat gland surgeries. Okay. This guy was actually sewing them together like sewing, like attaching things, okay. And it was supposed to make you young again. And he was very close to going through with it with this surgery. He did it for another reason we'll get into for a second in a second. But yeah, so he got really into anti aging stuff. Also he got into Hollywood. He said, I'm famous now, so let me make movies, and so he started making some movies, and so he produced his first film. In his first film he produced on night trite film, and this I think it was called Houdini The Master of Mystery. His first film was filmed on nitrite film and it was actually a big hit. But night write is super flammable, and so all of the film that we had burnt up or something disappeared. Oh so we lost track of it somehow until the twenty fifteen when someone tracked down an old night Trite film reel of it and converted the film and played it on Turner Classic Movies for like the special event. And it wasn't good. It sucked. I actually don't know that, but it sucked. Didn't have a good story plot. Yeah, they just didn't really go anywhere. Yeah, it's just it's just Houdini standing in front of the camera going It's all about family for like forty minutes. I don't get it. No, it was lost for almost one hundred years they thought that this was just completely lost media, we would never get our hands on it again. But somehow turn Classic Movies tracked it down and converted it, which was a little sketchy to me. I'm not gonna lie, but whatever, he produced another movie that was basically they they might have faked it. They might have very well matter feked it, but it was it was. It was interesting because in that in that movie, there was a plane scene. It was like a dogfight, okay, and Houdini allegedly was hanging from the plane. In this dogfight. They the two planes crashed together and production it was like a tragic event, but they got it all on camera and they put it in the movie. They were like, that's interredible shot. It wasn't actually Hoodini hanging from the plane. It was a stunt double, but they sole that like it was him and he survived the crash. I don't know what happened to the sun Dove. We don't know. Probably probably didn't it, honestly, Yeah, but that scene was in the movie, which in twenty fifteen, they could have faked that. It would have been pretty easy. In twenty fifteen, if they faked this whole movie to fake a plane crash and with CGI they might have segi the whole thing because then they just black and whited it. Yeah. Anyways, so he produced another movie, and then him and his brother they put together an actual likenduction. Yeah, him and Dashed they put together together. Yeah, and they created an actual production company and called Dolorean Media Company. We still going. Yeah, they put together an actual media company and they started. They produced two movies and they both horrendously flopped at the box office. Oh and they sold the media company off to a new company called ba Rolf Productions and wash their hands of that experiment. Okay, So he then moves on to becoming a magician. No. He he went on to add to his show a spiritualist debunker segment where he would and he got very passionate about this, like what very spiritualists. So his whole thing was he hated mediums and sciences, Yeah, because he felt like they were taking advantage of people, because a lot of them were like, Hey, come talk to your dead dad and then come get in my mini van and drive around Kansas City and I'll take you to see some ghosts. Yep, exactly, I'm not gonna lie I wish we did that this year, but uh, he had four hours. He had a big problem with it, and so he he had a whole segment is show where he kind of kind of like Darren Brown's pretty much any of Darren Brown's stuff, Like he made it like this is a seance and like we're going to communicate with the dead, and then he at the end like pulled the curtain back and was like, I'm lying to you about all this, and here's how I did it, Like was his whole show. Sure, And so he actually had a whole team of people that were like detectives that he would send around the country that would go to these events with these seances so they could learn how they were doing it. And then he would add those segments to show if anybody ever did something different. What are you doing for work? I'm an independent contractor for Harry Houdini. Well I just went to a Boudini show. No no, and actually, if you tell me where he was, I'm supposed to kill him. I'm going to go fight him. Speaking of fighting, So he's doing this throughout the twenties, he's becoming very very successful with his show. He's now got kind of like a three segment show where it's magic Escape Act and then this spiritualist debunker Yeah, and then so it's like a magic Escape Act and then sponsor a child and then do Yeah, and then Newsboys closes it out. Okay, so it was the first ones though, the original cast, the Newsboys original the movie. No. I'm saying, like, because you know that none of the people in Newsboys are the original people from Newsboys. Oh wait, you're talking about the band. We talking about the band. We talked about the theater production. That's the news E's you cultured swine? So are you freaking? They're not the same thing, the Newsboys. It was a good joke about Winter Jam the Newsz's Yeah stage production Broadway classic. I know that I was thinking the same name. The movie version, Christian Bale plays it shut up? Does he really? Yeah? I did not realize that he hits it, and he hits the note at the end. He's very good. Don't come after my Broadway musicals. Okay, I'm not coming after your Broadway musicals. It's fine. You like those things. It's okay. You're allowed to like something. And The Newsboys was the competing musical down the Road from the news E's it was all the actually really counting on people thinking that they're going to see the newsies. They come with their little opera glasses and everything, and they show up and the drum kids like freaking sideways, and I was like, this is not what I They're going to serve breakfast in hell? Whoa Anyway, So he's they're doing this show, uh and into fighting. Well it's it's very successful. He's obviously training his body to the limits. He's fifty two years old. It's nineteen twenty six. He's fifty two years old, and a couple of college kids came to one of the show. They're at the Meet and Great afterwards, and the college kid asked him. He was like, He's like hey, He's like, is it true that you can withstand a punch stomach? And he was like yeah, And the kid took it as an invite to punch him in the stomach. So he punches him four times just a He's like, He's like, that sucked. That's not what I expected you to do at all. No, So later that evening he realizes he's got some pretty sharp pain in his stomach, and the next day he still feels it. He's got a show in a couple of days. They're on tour. He's going to the next show. So he stops at a hospital in Detroit and they say, hey, yeah, you have appendicitis. He ruptured his appendix. Yeah, the kid kid punched his appendix and raptured his appendix, and so they told him, we need to take this out, and he said, I got a show tonight, I'll come back after. And so he goes and he does his show with appendicitis, with appendicitis, and in the middle of his show, he's doing one of his escape backs. He's trying to escape from some hancuffs. He just collapses and dies because he has a ruptured appendix. Ah, and uh, they I thought he died in a river. He didn't die in a river. I believe it was one of his underwater escape acts. Oh, so he was like in the water trying to escape and then as appendix killed him. That's what I'm saying. I thought he died in water. I don't think it was in the river either way. Died in the middle of a performance and they pull him out. They took him. They put him in this coffin that he had built for his show, and this coffin kind of disappointing because this coffin was disappointed because a fake bottom of it. So like they started carrying him out and they're like, this was not the real deal. It's not part of the show. Went after death, he's still escaping. He'd been working on this buried alive skit, and so there was one where he actually legitimately got buried six feet underground, like under real soil and dirt, and he dug his way out almost didn't make it, like he said, he was very close to dying in that in that event. So then they created a new one where he would be buried alive in a coffin instead and just see how long he could survive under under the dirt. I guess. I don't how would he communicate that he once out at a bell or something. I don't know. I don't want to do too much dirt on me right now. And that was what the the coffin was for, was for that segment in the show. But they said, luckily we've got his coffin here for this dead guy. Ladies and gentlemen, I know a lot of you have questions, but for now Kevin Hart what he died, but they got they got so much show, someone else has to come out and finish it. He's the opener of this show. Killed to die in the open. This guy dies, right, is taller than him. That's why I took him out on tour. Short guy. It's smoking, smoking, not tall tour. So anyway, it's so he dies. So he dies. Here's the thing though, it's not over yet. So he told his wife, he said, he said, Beth, if I ever die, I have this secret code for you, and it is He whispered it to her, so she would only know the code. And so he said, when I die, whisper that too many No, he said, when I die, he said, do a seance, and if seances are real, I'll communicate with you from the dead that secret code. And so then to this day, October thirty first, every year there's a seance held in New York to try to communicate to Houdini. This is so stupid. He's never done it. He's never communicated. The code was no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not that's not they did that. They did it for forty years. She would call him, and then finally she's like elderly and is not real and so she she said, the code was macaroni cheese. The code is macaroni Jesus. No, the code was macaroni grill. The code was macaroni grill. Be sure to drink your own shoot. He gotta collect the bank on the way out. Dude, can't leave your family starving. No, they did it for forty years. They were at New York. They were on the rooftop of some hotel in New York doing the seance on Halloween, and it was televised. They televised it for every year. And she that's why people don't trigger tree anymore. For Christmas. I just want to hear the crude and I just wanna hear you say it one more time. It's after an hour long, say odds Best stands up and she says, he's dead. He's not talking to us, like it's not gonna work out. When this happened. When this happens, allegedly, the storm rolls over Manhattan and there was a massive lightning storm, but it was only there over that specific area of the hotel, like a couple of blocks was a storm, and everyone said that was who Dini's code was the storm. But did she reveal She didn't. She never revealed it. What's what I'm saying, here's what it could be. Right, So let's say because she's not dumb, all right, She's like, shoot, now I have no way of making a living. My husband just died on stage. Yeah, the guy. All I did was sneak him the keys. So she goes the press and she goes, hold on, he's not dead. He's alive. He's alive, and he and every one of us. But he told me a secret code word. Well, I mean for real though, she could go every October thirty. This could be her play though. Where she goes, he's got a sco code word. He wants me to see if stances are real. So let's every year, let's do this. I'll sell tickets. Yeah, she makes enough money to make it. So then two years in, right, she hears the code word, and she now, two years in making money from this event has gone. I didn't hear it. I try next year. And then when she's like ninety, yeah, she's just like, ah, I guess we'll give up. She's getting emails on her family computer about their son and it's asking her if she prays, do you pray for our child? And she's like, there was never a kid. We never had a kid. He's president of the United States. He's like, I no, but it's fun to pretend I lost all my inheritance in his name. Why did you do that? Why you say he's not real? Okay, Yeah, so that's the life of Harry Houdini. He was a great magician. You don't know what escape artist. We don't know. Yeah, she never revealed it, but the sands has still happened every year in October thirty first in New York and probably in more places now. Honestly, it's probably like a thing. Yeah, all the parents are busy doing that instead of chuck or treating. That's what it is. I'm trying to see the hat man, all right, that's crazy. Ye have fun, Okay, see you later. I'm trying to get candy for the neighbors. Off. Hey, thanks for watching. If you liked this episode, makes you subscribe, leave a comment to outweigh all the grifters. And then we've got playlists on the screen. You can watch new videos if you haven't seen them. We have a massive back kind of log, so you should go check them out. If you want to become a patron, you can go to Tillan dot com to do that, or buy our march whatever you want. Thanks for being here. We appreciate you.


Harry Houdini, born Ehrich Weisz, was a famous magician and escape artist in the early 20th century. He gained worldwide fame for his incredible and death-defying stunts and his skills as an illusionist and performer. Harry Houdini’s Early Life Houdini was born in Hungary in 1874, but his family immigrated to the United States when he was just a child. … Read More