Episode Transcription

00:00 Hey, I'm a stand up comedian. If you didn't know, and I do live shows, so you should come to those. All of them are listed at jaren meyers dot com slash shows. I would really love to see you some of those. It's really fun opportunity to hang out and plenty of tilling listeners come to my show so you can meet other people who listen to this show bond over that and just trying to use the word show two more times in this. So jaren meyers dot com slash shows, a man happy to be here. What's going on? I hate it. That's your new thing now you can do. Hey man, yeah, 00:29 but I just don't want you to be happy. Hey man, have you ever heard of a shang he 00:38 I prefer it's pronounced Shanghai. Oh sorry, no, it's my he my hey my he okay, Sam San Bao sure. Shing he well, no, I'll take you to start of the story. So Shang he he was born in thirteen seventy one 01:00 Oh no, don't look at me like this. I was just like the priest. We talked about no sis or whatever. No, you try to say all these names and try to keep all the stories straight, but nothing's going to make sense at the end and it's going to be an hour long and at the end of it, we're both going to be like, I guess fiddle, you know, like we'll just be like all right and then I'll get blame for the show falling off. No one's blaming you. 01:31 and you're like whoever those guys are. They're in charge now they're the boss, but that's how people feel when I walk into the local Mexican restaurant. 01:41 I walk in the theme song over yeah. So saying he he was the thirteen what he was born in thirteen seventy one K and thirteen is truly crazy to think about how many people just existed. Yeah, it really is yeah. If you think about how much time yeah, there's been a lot of that. You think how long ago the founding fathers were two hundred years ago, two hundred and fifty years ago now right yeah yeah, not even that two hundred and yeah two hundred fifty right. 02:09 Yeah, no, I think next year will be two hundred and fifty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, close to it. That's now numbers. Next year will be right next year will be two hundred. So this is 02:25 was like three Americas. That's what I This is like three Americas ago. Honestly, hilarious way to measure time. Yeah, yeah, that's like three Americas ago. 02:39 so yeah three, get the decimal three americas. We use feet miles and americas, so this guy was born thirteen seventy one and he he lived in a the northern. He was a part of the northern yuan dynasty, so like what we would know of as like northern china today, but this was a mongol 03:08 area is he was part of the Mongol Empire and his dad was like a part of the army. So in thirteen eighty one a Ming Dynasty army invaded his home town and part of that they were like con. They were on a conquest. They were conquering land from the Mongols. His dad was his name is Mahaji. He was a soldier and also 03:34 He was like a high ranking official in the town that they lived in sure, and so he died fighting off the Ming armies and as a ten year old 13, 81 he's ten years old. The the Ming soldiers approached this ten year old child and they say hey, where's the emperor and he tells them I think he dove in the pond over there and they're like and they said oh, that's clever and so they went and they checked the pond and there was nobody in the pond. 04:04 and so then they said you're coming with us. You liar and so they kidnapped this kid. Well, I mean is it kidnapping if it's war a P. O. W. This child, a P. O. W. This kid yeah, so they took him and they took him back to the Ming, the Ming, nine to see this era was interesting. Let me see if I can pull up a like Char man, but you're heard. I just decided I wasn't interested in your topic 04:34 I'll do mine. Okay, have you heard? I'm joking, I'm joking. I them. They took them back to he specifically went back to Beijing, which at the time was called Bay Ping. They hadn't renamed it yet and that was that that was presided over by a prince of the Ming Dynasty. The Ming Dynasty had five princes, the prince in Bay Ping, 05:03 would one day be called Yongle at a certain point. I think right now at this point in time, he was called judai. And so he was taken in there and this the Ming dynasty is interesting because the emperor of the Ming dynasty had very strong convictions. He was like a big confusion, but his sons all were like they had different opinions and they were like, oh dad, that's so old school. That's so not trendy. And so they had their own new, new opinions that they were trying to 05:31 lead their districts with. And so this specific guy, his trendy new thing that he was trying to lead his district with was eunuchs. And so he, he strongly believed that eunuchs were the only trustworthy people in a society. And he said that because they were, they were not going to have a lineage. 06:01 And so they had no thirst for like power or legacy because they were they were just going to die one day and that was going to be the end of their line. And then they also couldn't like have like a family of any kind. And so they would have no I don't know the right term for this, but like no obligations holding them back from doing what the empire needed them to do. OK. And he also believed that it was like a strong show of like dedication to the empire, willing to be 06:30 I do Nick. You neck-a-sized. that how you say it? 06:41 and so and but here's the deal. Here's the deal. It was there was an empire and I'm going to be honest. Most of the people probably didn't choose to be unix right, but this boy who was kidnapped shang he he was you necka sized and taken in. I think that's a word. I think it is. You know what it means. You understand it. It's a word. If I say it, if I make the sounds of my mouth and you get it, it's a word. Okay, so 07:08 he gets taken in and he becomes like a servant. Don't worry about that. He becomes a servant. He becomes a servant of the emperor and so or I guess of the prince of this district. And so in his service, he is very interesting. He gets taken in at such a young age. He is a young age, but at the same time, it's old enough where he really understands what's going on. Like he's not young enough to where they can kind of 07:37 what is it? Moses him yeah, but it's it's pretend that you've always been here yeah yeah. He knows that he's a child from somewhere else yeah. He knows the background. He knows what happened. He knows how they got him yeah. There's no there's no hiding this story from all this because I lied about the pond. I think they would have taken them anyway. That's a detail that's in the story that I'm like. I'm not sure if that mattered to what happened here, but they tell it and so 08:05 He becomes like he does a couple of years in military service as young as a young boy because they just they did that back then and and then as he grows older, his he starts to build this like service record and so he gets more and more power and that was what was really interesting in this era. The Unix were the ones who who could gain power. You could only progress so far. 08:36 as a non unique like, but if you were a unique, they trusted you more, I guess in this district, this specific prince, because he didn't trust anyone who wasn't, and so he started getting a lot more opportunity that a lot of other people were not granted the same opportunity to and as he ages as the story goes, allegedly scientists have tried to explain how this happened, like looking back on the story and what they say is because 09:05 He was you neck sized at the age he was when he approached adolescence. There wasn't enough testosterone in the system. So they said that his bones never fused and grew the right way. And so they instead and I don't understand this this explanation of events, but because of that, he grew to be very long is what they say. And so he's supposedly like seven feet tall. And so he became a has of 09:34 because he had low tea. I think okay, I don't. I don't understand how that explanation makes sense sure, but it's the explanation that we're giving and so he grows to be like seven feet tall and so he becomes this defender of the prince, the seven foot defender of the prince and and in his role, him and the prince. They start to what I guess conspire together yeah and 10:03 there comes a point in. Let me see the date on this in fourteen oh two the prince's father dies and there's now a power vacuum. The five sons want to become the emperor. Yeah, well, I should say three two of them are dead now. So three sons want to become the prince. There's only one ahead of the prince in this district that really has an opportunity at it. Long story short, they go to war 10:33 shang he leads this conquest wins the war and that puts at prince that prince, which he takes on the name yangle and he becomes the yangle emperor becomes the emperor of the whole Ming Dynasty. Okay, and so the emperor comes to shang he and says hey, I want to call you son bow. He's like the right hand man. He becomes his right hand man. He says he says because of your because of your loyal work. I want to one rename. I want to give you a new name 11:01 your son bow you're now the rock. It gives him he yeah he calls him he calls a mother, which all every time I say the name Peter. I only think of homeward bound. What you know you seen homeward bow yeah first of all devastating Lee sad maybe no it is pretty well. mean I guess I the only thing I can remember from homeward bound 11:29 Yeah is the scene where he gets hit with the porcupine. Oh yeah, that's the and that's such a visceral for me. So that dog comes over the hill, the cackles, all those animals are dead now, by the way, all the animal actors, every animal actor from every movie you watch the nineties dead, they're gone. They've been they've been dead for a minute, so I was waiting till Tim took a Samp to tell you that all those animals are gone. They're dead anyway. 11:55 so all I can think of what the name Peter is in homeward bound. Yeah, the boxer comes over the hill, mink see the cat comes over the hill and then and then he's sitting there. Peter is standing outside waiting for I forget the dog's name. Do you remember the old dog? No, he's in there in the fring on. He's like he was really old and the mom comes over really old baby and then he slowly comes over the hill. Yeah, just you, the old dog's name. Yeah, that's so much, but then the dog voice goes 12:24 Peter, I just think about it all the time. He does one thing as names Peter in my head. go Peter, gosh, that's so yeah. That is an emotional show that we did not. I don't know there was in the nineties. A lot of those shows meant for children that were very emotional shows. Oh yeah, movies and shows. Most kids movies are like we watched the wild robot and we cried. Is it really 12:54 still yeah. I was just thinking I was like I was like I don't know if kids shows still are that emotionally. I mean yeah, it's because they're it's it's they are very empathy driven yeah and that's how we're teaching kids what's right and wrong interesting. You know, I mean if you think about it too, like if you watch, why we do that for grown ups well, but part of the reason is that as you great growing 13:22 as you grow up, the bad man is harder to define. You know, when you're a kid, you watch a movie like scar is the bad guy and they make the bad guy very now. You know, we do that for adults, but it becomes more about violently conquering the bad guy rather than a redemptive arc or or or like this show. We just watched, but I can't remember the name of where we both were like they, they humanize the bad guy way too early. 13:52 Yeah, show was a paradise paradise. If you ever watch paradise, people were like oh, this is just like severance. It's not it's bad. It's not bad. It's just that I don't know. I don't know. I'm to tell me that I was you were like never so good. I like it a lot. I did like it a lot. It was really fun. Now you've watched a really show. Severance is a totally different show and a totally different genre. I would say totally differently, but paradise is still a great show. Paradise is fine. 14:21 I like I think it's fine, but I'm saying for people to be like oh it's the same tier. No, it's not no severance is a league of its own at this point. would paradise is a show that it was a fun concept, but yes the bad guy. We learned too much about them early in the and so we actually learned their motive for why they're a bad guy too soon. Yeah before we knew really what they did or before we even really knew that they were the bad guy. That is true. That is true. you know and so they tried to do this whole. So then when that 14:50 when that person became like the bad guy and was like I'm you know the weight of it wasn't as scary. Yeah, you need the mystery. You need the yeah, the yeah. We humanize that they bad guys have to be larger than life. Yeah, we gave that character too much life too early, which I think is a more realistic view of the world sure, but yeah, it's not as entertaining. Yeah, it's not a good story. Yeah, yeah stories 15:19 or a intro conflict resolution. You understand how it stories yeah. Hey man, where is fifteen minutes into this? Do you want me to you ready? Yeah, okay, so so now that he is the emperor and now that he has he has his new name is due name San Bao, San Bao, San Bao, yeah, Peter, Son 15:49 so he tells on bow. He says hey, we need to put our footprint on the empire and so he moves the capital of the of China to Beijing, Bay, at the time and builds the the oh gosh, I'm drawing a blank on the name of what is the great wall of China? No, no, it's the Imperial City inside the Imperial City. They got a name for this on the inside. It's like the I'm kind of mess this up. 16:20 It's like the magic city or something like that. You know what I'm talking about the Emerald City? No, the wizard was see you now. No, it's like in Beijing, the heart of the city. It's like it's like deep in bay yeah and it's like it's like where like their capital all the Cabot. No, it's where the capital is and it's like where a park they've got a name for it. What do they call this? This is going to pin me. No, it's no it's it's kind of it's honestly it goes hard. 16:48 like but it's kind of like Magic City. You know like it. I know that sounds like that doesn't go hard your kingdom, the Forbidden City. That's what I does go pretty hard. It goes pretty hard. 17:02 in the early days of this show, we did like affiliate ads where we were like a sign up for grammarly and use code till and and we got like fifteen cents and now we just do patreon. It's a much better way. It's better for us as creators. It's better for you as listeners and it's a much more fun way for us to interact. We do monthly hangouts like on zoom. We just hang out and play games online and and get to know each other. It's a really fun time so 17:29 but still use our code till in at grammerly dot com because I think it's still I might get like a couple cents from that, but join us on patreon because we're having a great time. If you don't, we're going to have to start doing mobile game ads. 17:46 so they build the forbidden city in the heart of Beijing and that's where the emperor lives and all of his defenders and all in the army and all the political stuff is the capital sure of Beijing and so Beijing is the capital of the dynasty. The forbidden city is the capital of Beijing and he says he says we got to put our footprint. We got to put our mark on history. We got to draw a thing and he says he says you being a giant. I need you to build me a fleet. Now is he seven foot tall and linky 18:13 or like I think he's a fall on like I think he's seven foot on lanky. I mean here's where I'll say we do have like like artists renditions of him and so in this he looks like he looks normal bodied, but just huge yeah like he looks like what you would think a giant looks like where it's like you have a normal looking body. It looks strong. I don't think he was. I think he was lanky okay, but I mean but to be fair to play devil's advocate to that. I guess he did win a lot of wars, so maybe he wasn't maybe he was spoiler 18:41 I we already said that he won the war that put him in the as the emperor that put it his his he wants that's only one. I don't know if he won the series. I just know he made the playoffs right now, so he says he says we need to be. We need to be larger than life. I need you to build me a fleet and so he goes and he goes and he puts together a group of engineers to start building what the emperor was calling the largest fleet in history. 19:11 okay, so they start building these ships and long story short, what they do is they put together this fleet of ships and I want to I want to give you a list of what these are. Hold on, let me pull up the it's actually pretty crazy when you think about how recently cameras were invented to like every picture you've seen. That's true and then think about how many humans existed before that that we just will never know what they looked like. Yeah, yeah, it is pretty bonkers. Isn't that crazy? 19:41 So they put together a fleet of ships and in this fleet there was, I think the the total number is around six hundred or seven hundred ships, massive fleet of ships and in this fleet of ships, they had warships, which were large obviously warships. 20:07 I was going to explain what they did, but I was like I don't have to. That's what they do. They wore these ships, which were large warships. They did war. They these ships did war. They're a hundred and sixty feet long, hundred sixty foot long ships for war, big ship meant for war. Then they also had transport ships in this crew. The transport ships were two hundred and twenty feet long and eighty two feet wide. Remember, I want you to picture. This is the the 20:36 early fourteen hundreds yeah, and these are all wooden ships like wooden sailboats. Yeah, that's what you can build at that time. They built a group of supply ships and these supply ships. They were two hundred and fifty six feet long, a hundred and fifteen feet wide listener. A football field is three hundred feet yeah and then they built equine ships, which are ships just to carry horses. They had the horse, the horse boats yeah, but some people are so an equine ship is a horse for equines 21:10 that carried that carried the horses, but it also carried like they would take tribute items to the places they were going and so they would carry that in that quine ships. They also carried all the repair material for all the other boats. We'll get to that. These were three hundred thirty eight feet long and a hundred and thirty eight feet wide wow and then the crowning jewel of how tall you know. I only know how tall this is the crowning jewel of the fleet were what they called the treasure ships. 21:39 those are called treasures because they carried the treasure. These had nine masts. They were four hundred and seventeen feet long, a hundred and seventy one feet wide, and they were typically when you go from like bottom of the hall to the top of the mass, nine hundred feet. That's a huge, huge monster ships. 22:03 we have like artists renditions of none of these exist of these fleets, and so here is here. I'll show you just an artist rendition of one of the treasure ships yeah coming into port very large. Here's a artist rendition of the fleet and remember when you're looking at this fleet, it kind of looks like oh there's a bunch of small boats and then a bunch of big, but those boats are like hundred foot long boats, two hundred foot long boats, the small ones, yeah, the small ones and so those other boats are 22:33 very large boats, especially for that era and then the treasure bit boats are just monster, but they're in the middle yeah because they're protected because they're protecting all of the gold in there and the treasure and so here's an actual photo of him standing in front of his boats. So what they did is they said okay, what we need to do is we need to it was for everyone in the audio listener. It was a there's an actual photo is a sepia filter though is why he laughs 23:02 so is it sepia or sepia? I'm pretty sure it's not see I always said I dead serious. I've always had sepia. Is it tamer tib? 23:18 I hate you, so the eunuch and his army of ships decided wrong. I just don't know which one it's probably sepia, so he goes out and they he goes on these expeditions and him and the emperor put together these expeditions. What are you doing right now? 23:40 I think he's looking for those pronunciation things. 23:48 He found out he's wrong. Somebody found out they're wrong. That's what that was. That was him fighting out. He's wrong. Oh my goodness. I love that. 24:08 No? 24:11 I mean I always did, but I now I like I don't fully trust you, so I could turn that you're going to do something with them. I'm there's going to be a bit here. I mean I'm going to let you take it like take it from me, take this cup from me, but you don't have to, but like, but I'm concerned there's a bit here. I'm concerned you're doing something he's going to throw it away. I just going to keep it 24:44 What are doing? You just got to unscrew and screw the lid. You're just going to sit here and keep doing this. I don't know. just I'm there's so little trust right now. I'm just so concerned that's 25:05 Dang it. What I took a sip. That's the way you do it. 25:14 Fixed it. 25:20 I contact with me as you look like like a forties trombone player just 25:33 so they take this fleet out and they the idea is no matter who you are, no matter where you are, you see this roll into your harbor yeah and you're like whoever those guys are. They're in charge now they're the boss. Now I don't know. I might be the boss, but that's how people feel when I walk into the local Mexican restaurant. 25:57 I walk in there. I don't know who that guy is, but I think he's in charge now. I sit down. They bring me. They bring me a Blanco case. So and and unlimited chips. 26:14 what kind of like I'm in charge you got to walk with kind of coffins. You got to walk with it, take over a honestly any rest. not confidence. It's just guns. I took over a jersey Mike's. You know, I used to work in a sale shop called Jersey Mike's, so I stopped looking at my thighs. I was looking at your watch to see what time it is 26:42 to see if you have a time thing on your I got time going. I'm keeping track. Don't worry. So they go on these journeys and the whole point of them. Well, I shouldn't say the whole point. There's a few points they're conquering yeah. Well, they're not conquering. They're not conqueror just flexing. They're flexing. There's a few things they're flexing. They are picking up treasure, treasure, hunting water with you. Yeah. Do you got a problem with that? You know, 27:09 I know exactly where this bit's going and I hate it so much. What you gonna be like? You think I'm gonna like have a kid now? I don't like the you knew what I was going pregnant. 27:27 shoot. I should have drink your water okay anyway, so they the idea they were flexing. was a hundred percent. They were just going around all the shores of everyone anywhere near them yeah to be like look at us now, but it was also we're going to roll in and see if you guys got any treasure and we're going to take that because we want some treasure right and because I mean what do you again you roll into a Mexican restaurant 27:55 you walk in. You don't order you just go to someone else bring me a spicy margarine, take your white case, so and you sit down and you say give me everything on table six. I don't have to say it. You just sit down and you just look at I walk in and Peter goes over and tells the table. Excuse me guys, I need the the fajitas are sizzling. Excuse me guys back. 28:19 the boss is here. He wants great. You know what and this was Peter's crazy because he grabs the fajita skillet bare handed. He doesn't grab the skillet just grabs off the and then comes back. It's like dripping and he holds it over. He feeds me like a bird. He puts it in his mouth and then he and then he bird feeds me. I got and I get bird fed for he does he does yeah and then Peter feeds me 28:49 brain and me like a baby bird that he takes. takes the tortillas. I just shoves them in my mouth. 29:00 It really is the best way to eat. It's efficient. My macros are crazy yeah. Seventy six grams of protein for four hundred and thirty calories. Have you guys been to that new Mexican restaurant on thirty ninth? Yeah, that was a weird guy and their way they do for he does is kind of crazy. The fate has come out raw and the guy just makes the sound. I'm feeding me raw me. 29:28 in that scenario. I want to make sure I think so. I think that is the scenario. Okay, yeah, so they're flexing. They're stealing people's treasure. Yeah, they're going around. They're flexing. They're taking treasure. They're also being like, hey, do you want to meet the emperor and some people keeping the treasure on these boats? Are they taking it back to Beijing and putting it back, but they're going on journeys. So it's like they believe they're going through this huge route through well. What they're doing is they're going around China through Malaysia around the Indian Ocean and all the way to Africa and going africa. 29:57 So they're going on these massive journeys. So of course the treasure is on the boat for a long time, but eventually they go through the whole expedition. They end up back and they unload and sure like, all right, let's go on another trip. And so while they're on tour, essentially they stop in certain places, they meet local rulers and they say, well, do you want to meet the king of the world? And they're like, I mean, I guess so, because for most of these places that they're going, I think it's something you have to acknowledge too. 30:24 there's not an empire anywhere near the size of this. Oh, for sure. Anywhere they're going. And so they roll in and it's like, Oh yeah, this must be the king of the world because look at this. And so dignitaries load on the ships as well and they get transported back to go meet the emperor. And it's, interesting. It's interesting just to think about the way the world used to work where like now we have diplomats that go and they'll, they'll go visit three different presidents in a day. 30:54 and then fly back and it's like they're gone for thirty eight hours. You know it's like these leaders are gone for like a year, probably more because especially if you're the first people got picked up. If you're the first country they stopped in like say they stopped in Japan right and they picked you up. You have to go through like Malaysia and all of like India and all of Africa and then they roll back. It's like you're gone and then they stop and I'm for sure they were back in Beijing for a long time right. It wasn't like they just like and 31:22 Also Beijing Beijing is not a coastal city. Is it? I haven't thought about this until just now. I'm pretty sure Beijing is landlocked, so if this if this is yeah Beijing is landlocked, so they would port and then they would have to travel across land. It's very interesting. I haven't thought about that anyways and then they go meet the emperor and then they surely want to immediately turn around and go back. So like these people were gone for when it's a little quick meet and greet picture, which took 31:50 a long time back then yeah. Someone had to draw it. Someone had to yeah with the sepia with the her which yeah. You learned how to say today. I didn't learn how to I said right this far. So the sepia filter yeah and so that took a while to draw yeah and then you just go home yeah. So they did six of these expeditions. Geez they were doing it all throughout this emperor's role. He had rolled for how long 32:18 he at this point it's been twenty years. He's been number for twenty years. Shang he or Sun bow has been leading the whole these expeditions. They've been charting a lot of the Indian Ocean, starting to understand the way the world where stuff was laid out and towards the end, we've been what their maps look like. Yeah, actually I do have a map right here. I'd be curious what they drew. You know yeah, so this is this was okay. So this actually 32:47 Mm, dang it, I wish I had a... 32:52 okay, so this is not like the best situation to show you, but I'm going to show you anyways. What I have here is I have the first one is from fourteen oh two for so the beginning of the rain okay, the second one I have is from fourteen twenty, so the end of the rain. I feel like there's a little wall show you. This is what they had at the beginning of the rain yeah, so I you can kind of guess like okay, there's that's probably Korea over there on the right. 33:21 okay, and you probably have China there in the middle and then I think over on the left is probably India and so it's not super accurate right pretty far off. This is what we have in fourteen twenty this and this feels honestly this feels now that I'm looking at this in the big screen. This feels English. This doesn't feel like them right, so that's probably why this looks so much worse, okay, because I saw it and I this is just 33:49 the different apps on Wikipedia and so that's probably why this looks worse anyways. Okay, so they were mapping, but they're also they're also discovering more towards the end. After about twenty years, the question started to arise. There's a lot of land out there and we're better than everyone. Yeah, we take it and so this these conversations started to happen and we have record that there was consideration in the empire of should we 34:17 conquest a little bit. Should we get into some conquesting yeah before this could happen though the yongle emperor dies and his replacement is not a fan of that idea doesn't want to conquer. is not a conquest, not a conquest or and so he's just no we're not going to do that in conquest or and he actually shuts down the treasure voyages altogether. He says forget this you're out. I don't like you. You're too tall. It's kind of weird 34:45 you're spooky to hear her so I don't like a talk you are freak me out. You're too tall. Get out of here and so he loses his stilts yeah. Those are fake. Your legs aren't really that big are they? I think you're faking it. Say that to the next top person you see. Oh, I think you're faking it. Faking what that I know the truth. 35:13 no one's actually that tall. What's water like up there? He was actually the first person ever make that joke yeah and so and the guy was mad about it, so he left so they shut down the whole the whole expedition thing, which lasted about a year because then the emperor died and a new emperor came in place. He was like those expeditions were kind of cool actually and then he was like give me that tall guy. 35:36 and so Conan O'Brien, I kind of they were like no, I never my we don't need you. Hey, I know you just moved your whole family to Burbank. Do you want to come back? What do you got going on Thursday? Thought about being here again? Yeah, 35:56 Hey, thanks for listening to things alone last night. Just so you know, we got a new merch line coming out for this summer, so you've working on that summer bod and you want to show off how ripped you are. You can get a small t shirt from us or if you've not been working on that summer, but why don't you check out our two X selection? So we do have some really cool designs. I'm actually really proud of them. We got like a honking and bonking shirt. We've got a regular things. I last night. These are you listen. We don't make a ton of money from this show. This is literally to help cover our expenses, which you know 36:25 like microphones and Alex. so thanks for supporting our show. 36:34 So yeah, they moved him back. They started. They started the expeditions back up, but this expedition was not nearly as successful as the previous ones, and I think it's kind of it's kind of one those things where it's like you roll into town six times. You can get a lot of cool stuff. The seventh time you roll in, it's like guy were out bro like you got nothing else to give you guys last time and we get it. You're strong. We've seen we've seen your cool boats six times already, and so it's like it didn't have the same impact that it had been having 37:04 and it was expensive and so this emperor after doing one more, seeing the result of it was like, I don't think we need to be doing this anymore. What's really interesting is this. They actually called it the packs mean because it was the closest imperial China ever got to being like settlers and they actually got very, very close there and so there's a lot of questions if 37:34 had that had that emperor not died and the way that the way that happened, by the way, was really interesting because the forbidden city, the temple in the forbidden city got struck by lightning and all the confusions thought it was a sign and so that that's why they shifted so hard on the next emperor who came to power was propped up by the confusions because they were like that was a sign that he was doing things the wrong way and it kind of shifted the culture a lot. Yeah, the culture was getting very close to be a lot like what Western culture was a brus house got struck by lightning. 38:03 and they didn't change their ways at all. 38:09 because they had they had set pigs in the backyard they had so like they had a big wooden fence. Part of their wooden fence just went down and instead of repairing the wooden fence, they just put up an additional chain link fence inside the wooden fence. Yeah, so the chain link fence is actually what the using and then the wooden fence is just there and part of us down interesting and they ran a tattoo parlor out of the basement. No way that's honestly kind of sick. No 38:39 there's not a cool tattoo parlor, a guy with a tattoo gun. That's still pretty sick. It was like I got a shop in my basement. Yeah, we went and looked at the house when it was for sale and it's clear that he tried to run a business out of that well when it was electric cuteed after got electrocuted. Well, they the yeah they read it out. They built it fixed. didn't renovate. They fixed the part that burned okay, okay and you can tell they did not fix the water damage. That sucks well 39:07 People who live there now also are not fun neighbors. Interesting. Do they have the tattoo shop? No, they just moved in and they put a lot of flags up in their front. Did you tell them? Did you tell them what happened to the last people? We said God smited the last people. God shocked the last people and I don't mean like surprised them. I mean he electrified. they and my flags. mean they've got like flags with like words on. know the people who have flags that are like yeah, Jesus is the Lord of this house and stuff and you're just like listen, I'm a Christian but that's 39:36 freaking weird dude yeah yeah interesting yeah well that that other flags to that's kind of what happened here except for it change every night. 39:51 that I say, God, thank you for catching Osama bin Laden and please smite my neighbors. And then also smite my parents' neighbors. I haven't brought up my neighbors yet. My neighbors, our cat got out. Have I told you this story? I don't think so. We lived there for a week and a half and Duck got out. And so we were searching the neighborhood. Obviously very stressed. We live on a very busy road. And I was like, oh my gosh, he's going to get hit by a car. I was in my neighbor. 40:21 and I was in her like back porch area and I was looking for him and she was can I help you and I was like oh I'm sorry I'm looking for my cat and then she goes the last one that got out got hit by a car and then just turned around and went into her house and every day since like I hear her out there talking and I go God I hope you get hit by a car. I take her out that's such a brutal thing to just say that's crazy to look yeah. 40:50 I think I have a car. She shrugged to show me. I think I have a car and then went inside. Yeah, yeah. When someone's clearly stressed, just like last time this happened, it's been the worst for someone. Yeah, yeah. I know you're probably thinking the worst case scenario, but just want to remind you what it is. Remind you that the worst case scenario has happened before. What actually happened in the last couple of the live in our apartment was that their dog did get hit by a car and then the stress of that ultimately led to their relationship ending and getting divorced and then they moved out. Yeah. 41:19 the real thing that happened. So a lot of scholars say that had there not been that moment right where the lightning yeah, like the city, they change their ways then there might have taken over the whole China might have got a lot more imperial and a lot more colonial yeah, and this is at the same time as fourteen twenties is right before I right the same time where colonialism is really getting pretty cool for the West. 41:44 and so I by getting cool. mean everyone's doing it. I mean everyone's doing it. Everyone's like we want to be a little sure and the question is what would the world have looked like yeah had that lightning strike not happened had the east also got colonial because after that they shifted and they got much more internal and much more like religious for a long period and by the time they shifted back, it was too late. The West had swallowed everything up and so 42:13 it is very interesting to kind of think about. They had the fleet, they had what they needed. They had the largest ships in the world and they very well could have overpowered a lot of what the west did and colonize a lot of areas that the west ended up colonizing because there was a vacuum. Yeah, history is going to look at the United States and like they had the largest military ever exists in the world and but then that lightning striked within all the all the fighting age men got addicted to tick tock 42:42 so they so recently in the nineties they built a like they re built one of these ships. Okay, as like a monument. They were like we want to build a monument to these ships and so they built this ship and during construction of this ship. I don't know if you're looking at it during construction of this ship, AI, but yeah, this is an AI. Okay, they built this ship. It's in a park. It's like in the middle of like a city park. We just sat it there for sure. It's almost like a playground now. Yeah, it's almost like a park. 43:12 date. It's almost like in the middle of a town. There's a green area and it's like a bit like a yeah. Tim, I get it. This is why our episodes are bad now. Okay, it's almost like there's a park like the you know where kids play. You know, like a part so a park is like a park. A park is like a little green patch in the middle of a town. There's a lot of roads and houses and then there's one designated space. They say no houses there. That's a field. That's a park using what it is. 43:42 All right. Are you done? Are you done with this? You done? Okay, so they were building this and while they were building this, they were trying to build it to spec of what, like the history books say this was built to the treasure ships and while they were building it, they noticed something. So there is a center mast support beam that runs across the bottom of these ships all the way across yes and 44:06 while they were building this, what they notice is the way this works is you can not. They used as the guide to build this the history books, so like okay, the main dynasty kept like detailed books of history of everything that they did. So they use these books to build them to to spec. It's kind of like the Noah's Harking experience where that guy was like a little bit. This is similar that guy can ham and so they were like okay. We're going to build this and while they were building it, there is this center piece of wood 44:34 that runs across the whole ship is like the main support right for it and the way that it worked is physically it needed to be a single piece of wood. If you had multiple pieces of wood stuck together at that time, they did not have the technology there. It was a weak point and the weight it would crack under the weight and it would split. It was not possible where they get this wood, so they started looking and they realized they did not have access in the Ming Dynasty to trees that were tall enough to make a single mast. 45:03 of what to make that support beam and so upon further invest and then they started doing some more, but you know who would giants. 45:17 the tartarion yeah. It could be the tartarion. I think you're right. I think you might be right. That might be who it was and so then they started doing some more digging and they started testing some other things. The masts that they said they were like they would need if they got the tallest trees that were available to the Ming Dynasty. Yeah, they would need to stack four trees on top of each other. So how they do it and they said the same thing. The weight of the wind would knock it, it, break it and so after doing some additional thing I'm trying guys, I'm 45:48 I'm trying to interrupt me, Sapi, so basically what they concluded is that they don't think it's true. They think that this was embellished. Oh, I'm sure that the empire embellished this kind of what I thought about this guy being seven foot. I was like I bet he was yeah and so they well they started looking back at the whole story with a more of a critical lens and it was the same thing. They're like they don't think he was actually seven feet tall. Yep, they think this whole don't think they went the whole out 46:17 They don't think the majority of this story is true. They think it's a legend, but it was so ingratiated as part of the culture for so many years that they all just thought it was history until someone tried to build the boat and they were like, wait, this doesn't make any sense. And then they realized, this the so the general consensus at this point is he was probably like five three and they had a fleet of ships, but the largest ships were probably around the average size of most ships at the time. 46:47 about two hundred feet at the largest, so still large ships yeah, but not the four hundred foot and then like a hundred foot wide like it wasn't what they were acting like it was and then there is. It does call on a question like how bad la these expeditions really unless the aliens up them. They were giants yeah. That's also a possible and the giants just knocked down all the gigantic trees before we got here. 47:13 They could have because it is kind of peculiar that we only have two of those forests with the really big trees in California, which I found out there's two of them yesterday. I thought there was only one the redwoods redwoods exist in more than two forests. There's redwoods in Yosemite. There's redwoods in Sequoia. There's redwoods. Yeah, it's just right there. It's just that region, right? There's not redwoods anywhere else in the world. It's just that area of California, right? Sure. There's redwoods in the rest of world, too, right? Shut up. No way. Where do redwoods grow? 47:43 Where are the wild world redwood trees are exclusively found in the western seaboard? It's frick dude, that's crazy sepia. Huh? Why am I wrong about you live there? This is your home. Yeah. Why is that? That's so strange, but it's I well, we know why it is because the tartarians cut all the rest of them down. That's the only place where they didn't come down. That was the, that was the world's first national park. I know isn't that odd this time 48:10 that's so I think you're. I think you're on to something. I think it's because the tartarians cut all the rest of them down. This is only place that I know, but if you've never have you ever been seen a redwood in person, which part did you go to Sequoia? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you you've not seen one in person not seen them. I'm telling you it's one those things where it's like and you somebody's got some big ones. They don't need like their those are not even as big as the ones in Sequoia. When you stand next to like General Sherman, the largest living tree on earth, it's alarming yeah. 48:40 like your body goes. What the heck yeah, it's strange anyway. Strange they've hidden the location of Hyperion. Yeah, they don't want anyone to turn it down. People find it, but yeah, it's not publicly not. How do you know? How would you know if you found it? Does it have a plaque? How do you go? That's the biggest one. That is the biggest one. I don't think it has a plaque. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you talk, but I also think they've closed the park around like you. You can't public. Are you have all this tree past things to get? Yeah, they got guards. Yeah, 49:10 Yeah, it's like they don't want people to trample the ground that it's in and all that stuff. Yeah, pretty crazy stuff. Yeah, that's wild. How many people do you think know of when you're standing in front of general Sherman to it's literally two thousand years old. So like general Sherman was about thirteen hundred years old during this story about the Ming Dynasty. Yeah, that's bonkers. That's crazy, right? How is that? That's nuts. That's crazy, right? Yeah, yeah, that's wild. Well, I mean, actually general Sherman then is older than 49:39 most of the New Testament. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm saying literally that was one thing I thought when I said that I was like this tree was here whenever Jesus walked on earth. Yeah, that's pretty bonkers. Actually, yeah, yeah, at that also your entire New Testament. Actually, at that age, it would be older than the entire New Testament. Yeah, the events, the testament were happening right with the writing. That's crazy. That is bonkers. Well, 50:06 this tree was also here when Jimmy Johns was thought of as a concept for a restaurant and pickle was arguing with him about. love that. I just call it pickle yeah, so is there anything else about this place? It's all made up and well, it's not all made up. It's not all made up. There's some truth. It's like any legend or myth like it's like there's truth to it, but over time they embellished it made into a bigger deal than it was. Yeah, most likely the shang he guy most likely there's people writing down the stories and he was like they put five three and he was like no 50:36 he said put seven feet and the guy was like but sure not. He's like okay, he's like no put me taller. He's like what about six three he's like taller six nine he goes just put seven just make it seven just make it some nice nice even number. That's where it's matter of fact make it seven expeditions to make it even actually because I mean if you think about like seven being a whole number kind of thing yeah, there's something there. I don't know how much of this is true 51:05 And it is interesting because there's the story. It's like is this if the stories really got really close for them to being colonial power, but then now we know it's like how much of the story really was real true. I don't know. It's interesting though well and it's all because he said I think they jumped in that pond over there. 51:31 Hey, thanks for watching things I learned last night. We're recording this again because Jared thought I was mean in the last one, but if you like that, you should go watch Tartaria. People didn't like it. You can leave a comment, say you liked it. Jared doesn't think you should be mean to them in the comments, neither do I. But anyways, we'll see you next week for another episode of Things I Learned Last Night. If you want to see that episode right now, you can become a Patreon supporter. Our patrons get every episode ad free a week early and a bunch of other perks. 51:56 may all help make the show happen. Another great way to help is by commenting on the tartaria episode or this episode or any episode. We'll see you next week on things and then last night and oh also this is never game podcast. Now the podcast check out the shows at ever game podcast dot com.