The Great Emu War – Australia Lost A War To Birds


Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird

Hey Man, what's up, have you ever heard of the Great Enu war, EMU, war yeah, it's great, the Great Mai, the Great Emo War Yeah? I was a pretty great okay, so I mean we're talking about birds, yes, yeah yeah. What's the difference in an Osoro move, I don't know. Actually I didn't look up in the process, so here we are you're as good at kissing. As I thought you were going to be, we should have done that before the wedding yeah, the rest of the world is watching my to Australia can't even beat a bunch of birds all right guys. We need back up, bring in the bone. We're doing this, for why no reason at all for the bit anyway, things as I know, all I know about moves is that a lot of youth, pastor, hair cuts, look just like them. That's if you you know talking about the little hair on top or nothing on the side. That's I mean that is a youth pastor. Haircut emus look like they work at a Mega Church that yeah, you know he most look like they graduated from a Christian leadership college and are already divorced. Oh my gosh, that's yeah, that's scary! A cure. We Sara TLC so to show show for, for this is going to sound rough is a rough joke. Here we go called Nineteen and divorced. It is for Christians that got married in college. It didn't work and you're nervous right now, because you know it could be a real show. Yeah your face is like a no yeah, but it's you know it's for those kids that got married on their eighteenth birthday and then were six months and were like this sucks, Jeez you're, not as good as kiss kissing. As I thought you were going to be. We should have done that before the wedding. I would have known that you're a bad kisser, yeah yeah, that's the ground, no tire much tongue, there's just and I've got emo here anyway. It S good episode. So far, so here's the difference. We got a lot of laughs. Here's the different here's, a different there's, a couple differences. One emails are shorter, the nostrils. So it's why they're more insecure, yeah yeah they're a little insecure. They also weigh a little bit less because they more shorter and they were then shorter that way, a little less dainty devito of birds, yeah they they're darker colored, but the most notable difference thing is sausage or racist against them. I don't think they know much about each other. I think the same place. I don't know because you running stuff, if you were out in a safari, I don't know where Oseres live. If you were a ostrich, you know journey yeah. Would you run into some emus? I mean it depends where you're doing it. Emails are in Australia. I know that. Okay, I don't know if it's they're unique to Australia or ostrogs in Australia. I don't know hold on. Let me look so they're giant birds, so I assume that's where they're from that is a pretty Australian thing, just giant whatever we have it looks like ostriges live throughout Africa. I don't know if they live in Stokas. Well, all I'm seeing is Africa, so maybe they're just from different places, but the ostriges they're taller they usually have like bald necks. So is there an ostrich EMU angle that we can go here like a ostrage emue smack down? This is what I was asking like. Are they like are like ostrog's like I emus or emails like over those ostriches over you know, I don't know the emails and oxyges. They know what I tell I think they're on different continents. Okay, well, there's people in different comments that we know about. Oh my gosh they're, not they don't have like multi continental society now for large birds, large flightless birds. Don't understand other continents exist. They don't have that kind of well. Actually, when we talk about this, maybe that might challenge this because they seem pretty indulgent. It was so he here's my favorite difference, though Emus they have three toes where osages only ave two and for some reason, the difference in toes allows hostages to run forty five miles an hour. One. An email can only run at about thirty miles an hour. So it's so we really watertoast down yeah. That extra tell really yeah way that that extra to is like seventy pounds, yeah, I know well, that's why I got. I got disqualified from the Olympics because I because you have a sixth to no. No, no, I chop some toes off to give myself an advantage. You know, and they were like you can't they like say yeah I was like were like. You can't make any modifications I was like. I have an after market foot and they know you can't do that after market foot, that's like braces are an after market mouth. You know, I I you, okay, you make adjustments or whatever yeah I cut off some toes, so I'd be a little faster yeah. It's like night to what your brain got it. Your brain got it after that you might what and then your praying with that was fun to watch. So here's the thing with the great even we I should start over it. So the greave two toes they have two tes, no they've. Very three Tories have to whine ostrog's, ostrage and EMOs emas. When Austrias come from Australia, it sounds too similar in don't spell O t, it just goes ostriches, don't come from Austro. I know that's what I meant everybody knew ostrogs should anyways, so the EMOs, here's the thing a SMO in one thousand nine hundred and thirty two. There was an issue back. There was an issue the EMOs were well. I think we're going to go a little further back now that I think about it. Okay, twenty five years be one thousand nine hundred and thirty two. Actually that's pretty close on to nineteen O, seven orater after World War, one the Australian government said thanks to all their soldiers who fought in the war by giving them farms all throughout the Australian out back. They were like hey thanks for what you did in the war. Here's a farm and your thee s kind of do the same thing: Yeah Yeah. They just reserved booths at all the outback, O tior, your sacrifice. Here's a bloomin onion from down on de you know, so they got a lifetime supply. Well, I mean lifetime or two years, whichever is longer Witherton, yeah yeah, so they gave them all for cant did the roll out and they were like. You can have a booth, but we're going to kill you. They gave them all farms and then, a few years after that, rabbits became a giant problem, Jack Roberts, yeah and well just rabbits. In general, all species of bunny rabbits became a big problem because they would just eat the crops, all the farmers, and so we got all these rabbits everywhere so yeah. So the farmers were like hey. You gave us this farm land and it's infested with rabbits. We need you to do something about it, so they built like the Great Rabbit Wall and it stretched miles. I don't I'm going to look it up a great rabbit wall. I don't know if that's what it's called. So what you're saying is in twenty five years, be one thousand nine hundred and tirty two. This wouldn't exist. No, it would be after war. One yeah, hey thanks for Finn, actually e this this. This was before war one, so they built this before World War. One they gave the farm land of the farmers after war war, one okay, an get my death mixed up yeah. Why do they build the wall? WHO's WHO's? Who was chancing for it? Farmers came in to town, they were like, there's rabbits crossing the border and then you know and they're not prigging their best, and so they were like bill wall build O, and so they built the wall yeah, the rabbits they but the ones around the huge wall. It was four foot tall, it's a cute little wall yeah. That's actually really accurate. It's actually just it's a replica of the of the Great Wall of China, but it's so, but it's small. It's a small wall, but you know who could get over it. FREAKING EMUS and they didn't look at they were. They didn't even think about that. They're like this, I going to keep an Emoi out. They didn't even cross their mind. Yeah us is so three to death bird. That's going to crawl right over this thing, but rabbits are out yeah. So it looks like it depends at what section you look at the fence, it's anywhere from a foot and a half tall to three and a half feet tall. Oh, that that's our bunny barrier, yeah, that's! Actually the cat, the rabbit proof, feds or the state barrier fence is another name for it, but they built in thousand nine hundred and seven to keep a rabbits, I'm sure one hundred and seven yeah, I sort of just guessed a date earlier. I guess a year. Are you serious, yeah, Oh man, and they built it to keep rabbits out of their agricultural area that was already established. This is our agricultural land, but there was it was such a problem. They needed to stop them, so they built, and I kiss you not a rabbit border fence that stretches the entire continent of Australia from north to South Two thousand and twenty three miles long. It's this rabbit bears that thing of a pro. How tall is it it's? So it depends in the section anywhere from a foot and a half to three and a half feet: Tom Yeah, it's shorter than urn. The three APPs o tie that's shorter than the railer, my back Por. Are you serious, yeah yeah, so to keep the rabbits out? And it's like it's like a eating of all of Australia. Yeah is this rabbit barrier you really? You could jump over it? Oh Yeah! I don't know. Oh my gosh. I probably could a yeah, so they built this fan. You could. If you trained a little bit, you would need a monster yeah. Let me get my agility up and then I can clear that yeah. So they they've built this fence the rather to okay Yep when it was Compeno, Huan, nine hundred and seven it broke the record for the longest unbroken fence in the world, which I mean, I think, is pretty fair. It's two thousand miles long, so anyways wow. They had this fence to keep the rabbits out right, yeah and then they gave after World War, one a bunch of farm land to the war fete, and so the rabbits weren't really that much of a problem, but the emus were the emails were coming in. They were eating the crops and one we in go over the fence: Yeah Yeah, they're tall five or six feet tall, and so, but he was, are five or six feet tall yeah. How long are their legs dude? You come into these. You come into this this this episode, just so unprepared, I'm Gon. You know I'm going to ask questions like how my toes they got no D, what color of their eyes? Where are their ears? That's a real question: Where are their ears in the same place, everybody's ears at yeah, where what do emo years look like they're just holes? There's a bird like every other bird there just like a hole in the bird ears. Lo, oh my gosh, I can for shot birds with ears, so they can hear, maybe if they could hear they wouldn't be so obnoxious. Maybe that's why they're so Bocheton all right, I'm okay! He would ever do so. An I'm sorry they've jumped over the fence. Top of things are coming in the thing exactly and the people are like. Listen, we fought in the world, we fought in the Great War, yeah we've fought in World War, one and people are like we hev a war or one like what the MOS are in the Ethie's going to be a second Okonha. Are you trying to say here? That's good yeah, so here's here's the thing, the the emails. We should make a movie and put a movie out called you know Tim and Jaron one and then never really see anything else. I er what these emails were. Making all these problems for the fish right is a big issue and the farmers they said. Okay, well, the emails are affecting our farm and there's thousands of them thousands of emails. It was estimated at one point that there was at least twenty thousand emos in the region. Just does that stretch that whole two thousand miles? No, I think it was directly in the location where they had left these farms for the soldiers in Australia. I don't know exactly where it is: It's around Chaine and Chanler, simple name, other name: Wild Gulan, at's, right, wild, the land, anyways and so the emers, the ethers. Here's what I want this to be. I want this to be the great emo war dude, it's just kids. Fist fighting is Spencer's gifts, hey thanks for being here for things a one last night. If you want bonus, content, early access to episodes and a whole lot more, including a discord channel. We have that available to our PATRIN supporters to sign up for that and for or info text till in to six six, eight six six yeah, so the emus were causing all this damage and the war vets they were like. Okay, this is a problem that needs to be solved. Who Do we know that can solve this poem for us, so they called their good old buddy from the war. Sir George Pierce, who was Australia's Minister of Defense and said hey? Can You nukem pretty much? They were like they're like? Is there any way the government could, just you know, kill all of the emails, and so Sir George Pierce being a war. Man Said you know what we could take a few machine guns in there, and I bet we could make quick work of them a pretty fast, so he was pete. I don't think we know was around it. I think this greatly predated pedes is why Peter Exists, like you, cans wipe out EMU at Pete Start in thousand hundred and eighty s, so what they did was they built in a second fence and emo fence the emote fence yeah. So they came in the region. Sir George payers, he went and managed to scrape up front funds from the Australian government to and get approved, to bring in a small batch of soldiers from the Australian military, with armed with two Lewis Machine guns and ten thousand rounds of Mo to just what s helicopter fly over and well, he don't have helicopters yet see Wan. I did it. I second to go. I searched Pete Start Dat. Now, I'm searching helicopter start date. This is after Wor, one yeah helicopters were invented in one thousand, nine hundred and thirty nine, and this was one thousand nine hundred an thirty two so a few years to or why they did yeah they like man there. So I wish there was a better way to do this, so so, after for nine one thousand nine hundred an thirty nine yeah yeah, so in nineteen on November, on thousand nine tee n thirty two they arrived in the region and their goal was okay. We are going to. This is what this is. What a Sir George Pierson he said. Our goal is to assist the farmers and help remove the EMOs from the region and also collect one hundred EMU skins so that their feathers could be made into cool hats for their light source. Horseman, he didn't say cool. I had oh yas say he I was gonna, say yeah. Our mission here is simple. Gentlemen is a long. I know that we just got out of a war, but it's time to go into another one: okay, we're going to rid this land of EMOs and also make cool hats yeah. So that was his. That was his reasoning for the campaign and on the November of second, keep trying to think of what you call a cool hat company. I'm working on it give me a second cool hack to no no, no, it's made out of EMOs okay yeah, just thrown it whatever you got it on November. Second, the sweet emotion of November. Second, the military arrived in the region and they spited about fifty EMOs. On that first day, did you get it? Oh, I bet keep leaning in an okay Shellia, okay I's like Andy Bower Yeah. I got it, I understood: Do they have the cars to the uvs? Maybe that's what the hall store logo is is an EMO. I don't know what the Holster logo looks like. Okay, you got it right. The alers doesn't know either y'all weren't cool middle school. That's obvious! Okay, go ahead, so they arrive in the the region and they set up an ambush on this herd of about fifty emails and something very interesting happened at this, and Russia heard it ye moves yeah, so they figured hey. We've got machine guns. They've got nothing so we're going to just ambush them. Like I mean o here's what I'm imagining! I need you to tell me if I'm in correct here yeah, I'm imagining like the fighting scene in the lion, the witch in the wardrobe, where it's been a minute, so I saw you're gonna have to paint this okay. Imagine Lord of the Rings or honestly any war movie where they are like an I just they got wall or in your language. A word tour pit right. I understand now you understand it because you're a freaking moron, so I'm imagining people on horses, Australian, flags, yeah, I know and they are like ready to ride in M. I ran I I they got this out, yeah, nothing like that. Okay, so there was a herd of about fifty EMOs in the bottom of this t, like you, know, fragile valasco's, a yeah actually and then at the top of the hill. Was the Australia military with her two machine gun posts, and they were just going to fire on these emails and we're just glike unload on him and Oh, the or charger yeah and they're like we're just going to take them all out right: okay, well, the EMUS as soon as they began to open fire, the emas seem to have borderline tactics, because they then separated from the group of fifteen to smaller groups of five or ten, and they all ran in opposite directions. So that way, it'd be impossible for them to hit every single one of them. They would have to target one single group and what was also very interesting is the emus were sponges. They many of them were taking five six seven bullets to bring down, and so they were hitting them over and over again and they were still just running away, and so they were there that whole day the second of November, they had tried to ambush multiple flocks of birds t, but after a full day of this campaign, the official report was they had killed. Perhaps a dozen birds, that's not enough hats, we're already full of preorders. We got to kill more birds, so they came back to day. George Pierce was Sir George pist I'll. Tell you what they got back to the base and he was like we're going to need more at got like so obsess a becoming like a fashion mogil the like he gets back to that he's in like a fur, coke and he's just like how did it go like he's correlatives get me he's the correlate villa imus he's out there like. I need a hundred and one hundred emails, one hundred one EMOs, the movie part one. So, two days later they went back into the region. They found nearby local dam. Two days later they had to strategize yeah. They built this strategy and nearby. They found local dam and there was a thousand emus herd of a thousand emus that they spotted in that position. So this time they were like okay, this time we're going to wait for them to get closer to us, so we're going to let them come to us before we open fire. So that way they don't have as much room to run and much room to get into smaller grips, and so this time they waited and things started going really well, they started they broke into their groups like they thought, but then their gun jammed, and so in this campaign they were only able to kill again about twelve birds in this event and the rest of them or George was not pleased, yeah, the rest of them scattered and got away before any others could be shot, and there was no other in herds of a T. Yeah they're called mobs, so the robs of email yeah, they travel in massive groups, but it appears that when trouble arises, they split into these smaller. When e T, they have like guerrilla warfare tactics because, like when trouble rides, they split into these smaller groups of like around a dozen and they stick together and they all run in opposite directions to make it harder for you to pick out one like you can't get them all, don't think any of the they come do have we studied them? Do they they come back together later yeah, eventually, they'll all grew back up and continue doing the thing: that's crazy, yeah. So, in the following days, they continued this campaign and by the fourth day of the campaign, the army noted that each pack- This is a quote. This is each pack, seem to have its own leader. Now he said a big black plumed bird, which stands fully at six feet high and keeps watch while his mates carry out their work of destruction and warns them of our approach. So they literally would have like a watch guard that would stand outside the farm and watch. The horizon line for date were worn to be like yeah, while the rest would be eating the crops and then, if they do that, all the time, that's not because there is gunmen, it see. Well, it seems like that's what they were doing in response to the campaign, like they weren't doing that at the beginning. But after the campaign began and the gunners were coming after them, they established a watch guard system. While the emails would be eating the crops, someone would be standing watch and when they would see him they would bolt they'd split into their smaller groups and then get out of there. No okay, yeah so fairly weirdly intelligent burns, giving the tiny size of their brains, but they had tactics. It seems it seems to have some kind of tactics. So after about six days of this war on the Masi days and twenty four birds yeah so six days, they had spent twenty five hundred at rounds of ammunition and the number of birds killed is uncertain. But most estimates come in at around. Fifty birds were killed for twenty five hundred rounds across six days and so meredith official report is that has been suffered, no casualties, though so he was pretty proud of that one of their their the tenants didn't even get injured that sounded weird. Did anybody get injured? No, not in not yet on November the eighth, Oh, my God, members of the Australian House of Representatives discuss the operation and they brought made it all the way back to the government. They were like all right they bought. I T T appears it had hit the local media of how the campaign was actually going and that only a few they're after attacking but toling of birds, yeah and only coming back with fifty bodies. Fifty feathers, they took one feather for Note: Bodies Yeah there that was their tactic, yeho feather from that's, why they needed so much h for his hat. He was the only one going to get had of this. This is my hat made of a hundred emas is my Nemo Hat Collection? It's like isn't that Captain Hook and that takes like he's. I don't touch a hair on his body and he goes okay. I won't touch this one. Is that a Captain Hill Line South rer anyway, I don't know you know what Captain Hoke is from. No, no it's that rum. They sell it hive. Oh, WHAT'S NOT! Okay! Here you, I hate the you had to say: No, it's not that's what I hate do you know what Captain Hook is from okay. Here we go. I know what captain homes coming real excited that you might have been stupid for us in that, as there hilarious so trying to defend how terrible his campaign was go yeah. He before the Australian House of represented is Pierre, said. If we got a military division with the bullet carrying capacity, these birds, it would face any army in the world. They could face machine guns with the invulnerability of tanks there, like Zulus, whom even dumb dumb bullets, could not stop and I'm not sure what dumb dumb bullets are. No they're. They just shoot those suckers suckers yeah. The this link goes to a broken page, but the the URL as expanding bullet. So I'm assuming they explode. When a tact but yeah, and so the Australia has some represented, this was pretty divided. There was a group that was like yeah. We can keep doing it's, not a big deal. It's just. You know whatever it's smolney yea a small group, it's only ten housen rounds, we're never going to go to another world war. We don't need even more. We don't need this, but the other group is thousand nine hundred and thirty nine right. Then thirty, two sorry, I was sinking to her captors. I nine thirty. Two things are running. Smooth are great. It's the worst of the Great Depression, US sink, a lot of amonth there's another side that was like this is going horribly. We're making rater military look pathetic and we're spending a lot of money doing it. So another side of the war was like. No, we shouldn't do this and in fact, pierce should be removed from his position for the the rest of the world. Watching like dude, Australia can't even beat a bunch of birds. They can't even fight these birds. Meanwhile, the US is like hey: we're going to go, take out a bunch of hostages just to show wore better just to sure we can ah they're, not even on our country, but we're just going to they're bigger than so was at the zoo. They can't get away just to practice is to practice so you're at the Dickerson Park, zoo a care that he fligely low, and then you see someone dangling got. This t find out they're like super creatures that could that could what is troy? Okay, here's Tim and Jaron One, the movie. Okay, the plot is in the future. We find out that emus yeah are the superior like being yeah yeah species species is what I was looking for. Yes, this spears superior species they're already halfway there and we've come back to eliminate them. Oh okay, okay! So that way, they can't that way. They can't do their uprises. Yes, yeah! THAT'S PRETTY! THAT'S PRETTY! THAT'S PRETTY CLEVER! Don't do that! Whatever thing you na read your thing: keep reading I a media page. I don't know I'm trying to go up with the original stuff over here. You're literally copy pasting in your mouth, your mouth is just copy pasting wikipedia. That's all we're doing here that hey, we can make that movie yearly. Okay, so have they withdrawn the m military, the the House representers as like you, they voted against the like this is dumb, but some of them were like now, I'm like personally invested in this yeah exactly and so then the EMU as attacks on the crops continued they kept. They came on with the with vigor. After the military was going, they said, hey they're gone, we can get so much more, and so there was this hot weather and a drought that came literally almost immediately. After all, this was taking place and that drove even more emos into the area and so the veterans in the area they started taking matters in their own hands. They just started shooting all the EMA. Well, the EMUS, I don't know if they knew they were doing this intentionally. I doubt it, but they started destroying the rabbit fence and letting the rabbits into the area to get the crops. This. What I'm saying all right guys we need back up, bring in the bunny. That's just an angry Ebo who slams is three toes for on the floor. They're all they're, all bickering they're fighting the like. I don't know what sounds emos make but they're like t and then one just go bring in the bunnies and they start tearing down the wall. You just see like this, like peaceful shot of the law, and then they just come up over the hill thousands of this, and they just start ripping this Walter. I you hear it you hear it one of those and you're like what is going on a there just yeah. That's that's! Pretty accurate, hey thanks for being here, we've got merchandise, it's a way to support the show and help us do more stuff by new equipment, reach more people. If you like what we're doing and want to help us. Do that more! Please consider doing that. If you want to link to that all of that's going to be sent to you, if you his text till in to six six, eight six, six I'll tell you it's not a thing where we're going to text you a lot were no, it's not a tech service, we're not going to like send you more of them, but it's just a way for you to get a link. It's one text, that's all we're going to send. I promise you so we munition thist. This is a joke. A lot of earlier s didn't know where to bring it up. The Situation Hits a fever pitch and on the top of November, the minister, a defense approved a resumption of the military effort which I just to go back or like dotings. Our pride enjoys the longest fence in the world. It's the longest unbroken fits in the wary. PROCAS remain, unbroken you'll go back in there and you unbreathable back actually, do you know that billy ray Cyrus's Achy break you heart is a cover. It was actually achyba fence. Tait was written in the s S. I never knew that yeah it s it s a cover. That's that's kind of like other Jonas brothers, didn't write the bit of the year three thousand really or rascal flash didn't write any of their songs. You know it's the same thing: okay, okay, Lyra Cyrus was like Ike breaking fens he's changed it. It was a more modern thing. People had emotions later on. I batemons later on the e. The government didn't care about the farmers. They were like what the emos get the farm the as car like. I hope that emos killed our families. Honestly, I don't care but the fence of fence stuff fans, so they began a second campaign yeah and it's absolutely nuts. These birds can just take bullets, though I know yeah they take somewhere between five and ten bulls, but to take them down their beasts. I don't know, and you can't really test it. You can't be like, let's figure out, let's Fiou, you know, that's one peters goomade like Tu take off is the center. Oh, my gosh. Oh I it's that some real dark stuff talk about dumb dons. You know I glad you made that a before we get into the second campaign of this war. I want to shout out our Patrin Fabian thirty six. You want to go for murderin moves to talk about our patron supporter, hi we'd like to honor you for supporting our show. Thanks for helping US kill the emails, we didn't do it. The Australians did yeah yeah that helps yeah. We supported them, but we didn't do it honestly. A lot of people have recommended this to us, both our patrons and people, in the comments and on our email but Fabian, the omote first, one yeah, someone to straight up email, the email war to me, okay, who was it that suggested it I have in thirty. Six was the first that we got so shouted to you Phebe, and this is a crazy story and honestly, one of the while this war is in recent history, so yeah you're right so yeah, there's a there's that sex for giving this that in thee discord which is aable to our patrons in orders. If you like, be a PA transport, you get access to that discord and also some behind the scene stuff early access and you don't have to listen to advertisements like well hold. I got to say text till in six X, six six and then you don't have to listen advertisements like this one, great great good, so they came back on the twelfth of November and as all started on the second of November yeah. So this is a very enteer seconds. On November eighth, they fought holovere yeah yeah in between November eighth and November twelfth they got as were like we're confinin coming in hot they're, like they called back. They were like where they were like. We know, we've got it too good. They got bored the ninth of the tenth, they were just eating crops and then, and then in an IT, was like. It was more of that. Okay, they pulled out their forces. We need to come on the offensive. Now, okay, okay, I was there, it was their attack, so they came out for more crops. They broke the fence yeah and they said you mess with you mess with the email, your mess with the wrong you get the third toe you miss okay, I hate it. So I came back on the twelth of November. They got their selves position, they began planning and on the thirteenth of November, they found their first like degree of success in the whole campaign where they had killed. Approximately forty EMOs the third day of their campaign that they were they were back on. The fifteenth of November proved a little less successful. What were they doing different this time? Anything yeah, so they they continued. That original strategy shooting them of setting up like finding a large pack and then setting up their positions and waiting for them to get close and then what they would do is they would just select targets. So they would say: okay, we're going to pick out this group instead, try to hit all of them were to say that's our group, we're taking that one and then we're going to move on yeah, so they're being selective, obviously a lot of them weren't getting away but they're actually being able to wipe out, but they are estimate there's about twenty thousand emus in this region, a right yeah. So if you're only getting forty a day yeah, this is going to take a while. So by November. Second, the the soldiers were killing umber, axidentally or December Second D. ever second soldier were killing approximately a hundred emus a week, so still not the Erisophos. So by the tenth there, lieutenant in charge of projects claimed that they had killed nine hundred eighty six emus with about nine thousand rounds Jeez. So it takes about ten rounds per confirmed to kill, and he also claimed that they had wounded about twenty five hundred that were going to die as a result of the injuries that they sustained. Oh so they had hit them and they were going to plead out eventually and then there was a lot of attempts in this. They had their most successful campaign. The most successful like strategy was what we had just talked about, where they would camp out and bring them to them, but they did try to mount their guns on a car which try to Mad Max it yeah pretty much yeah, which actually is results in Emus, which actually resulted in the only really human injury out of the whole event where, because the emails were so sporadic, they ended up, swerving and crashing the vehicle, and so they're like yeah. We're not going to do any more of that and they got injuries. It wasn't life threatening, but but it's an injury, none the less! You know you stole a report, it's kind of like a church camp to get a little creep in your knee yeah. You still. You still have to get a fall home. You got to call the player, call the parents so yeah all these soldiers, parents were getting caught and, like you, let these birds hurt my kid. So eventually they pulled out of the war. Eventually, then us they were like listen. The emus have taken the land. It's there laying now yeah yeah, so they pulled out of the war a few months into the e try to metate all with them or the like. We need a Triny, some peace negotiations. Yes, so they pulled out of the war and what they said is hey. This isn't working. The cost is too high for how much were able to put the damage out so a couple years later in response to this issue, what the astrain government ended up actually doing instead was they create a bounty system where they put bounties out for the cops pictures of emus around town? Have you seen this bird word an it's literally just the same bird its, however Yomas look forward they're just like and say so all the the farmers, the Google searched e move, just stuck it on there. At warners were getting paid to do it, one of the guys at the House I represented is didn't know there was a difference between EMOs and Emos, so the whole time, and so he just put like a hot to a candle like the Han covering his eye and tips yeah, and so over a six month period, the government had paid out fifty seven thousand bounties. So later estimation was way wrong, that it was only twenty thousand wow to these farmers who they were war vets. So these farmers were like hey, you guys can't do this we're going to go, get them, and so they didn't Worak this in our own names yeah. So they really did these farmers went out and they just went on this massive EMU because you could turn that into a full time job yeah I mean if I you get bounties yeah I for getting banes and if you figure out how to catch e moves yeah. If you can figure out their tactics and subvert them, then you can get away with it. I guess yeah you got like an a team. There rolls up in the vain. I pity the bird serten subs of the e team, the a I was going there, that's where I was going. Well God I could jump the line for you and they you know they just roll up and take them out. Yep Yop Yop exactly so. They they faced a pretty fierce criticism right around when this whole thing was kind of coming to light during the middle of the thirty. So after the war had ended, they, the public, was like you guys who are like exterminating this rare email. It was like this rare species, yeah a Yu're gonna, make it go, ing, stick yeah exactly, and so they faced fierce criticism for in it. But then World War Two happened and everybody forgot about it. Everyone was like this is a it's all right, yeah they were like yeah. We got more things to worry about, and so this is the the great more. A lot of people argue that Australia lost this war because they did just kind of give up. When did they give up or like? When? Are they when do they stop killing EMOs? So in December one HOUSN, nine hundred and tirty two, so the government, another government, I'm saying the bounties and stuff. Oh this other killing a move. To this day, I don't think they're out there killing Yas. I think it was a couple of years. I think so they requested assistance again in the in thirty four forty three n forty eight only be turned down by the government. Instead, the bounty system had been re, instigated and continued, and so over the course of Gosh it looks about about thirty years. They don't want Osten, which about fifty seven thousand emails and for bounties, so they were just killing off all these okay. So we we we, how much did they get paid for each bird? I don't know that because here's what I'm thinking right you and I, if they're, still doing the bounty system yeah right, you and I moved to Australia, yeah. Okay, we catch a few EMOs yeah. We we give them to meat, okay right and then we kill them turn them in for the bounty. And then we kill our kids. Well, we got to get those to meet first yeah. I'm saying we created in the cycle: we just have an e move farm yeah that you know as they get older. We just use, take them in and like we kill enough like there's like do you're constantly brigit's e moves and I'm like yeah yeah come with the beaker. Did you say the Beaker, the beaker? I love that yeah because I imagine like riding in the town on a hoorse people are like it's. You Know Two thousand and twenty one now I'm riding on a horse, and you hear that I, like that all dude the beaker come on. That's pretty cool guy who chases down emus and just I mean again, okay, again, a get a gait again Jaren, Tim and Jaron on there here is when you're fighting me move. You know you're from the future. You got that weird, like glass, his glasses thing over one eye, which I don't think we'll ever become a trend, but whatever play you know, I rolete you like I'm the Beaker, I'm the Beaker, or we should make this movie. This is I vissim. This is a short for one day. We just had this a short film idea: Yeah we're sus at Sundance. Well, start a media company called tall films. I guarantee it's already a thing, but it's funny anyways. These seems, like you know, excited about. I am like I mean you know it kind of feels it here's what it feels like when we started this podcast. It feels like that same energy. We're like at be a fun idea. You know o well yeah, just give it four years and I'll get excited about it. Kyoka, that's fun! It looks like the price that they were paying was four and a half pence which today is equivalent to about sixteen dollarss. Oh, that's not as much as I thought yeah, but that's four and a half pence to today. I think there's an inflation number, so I would guess it'd be about a hundred with inflation. So, like four and a half pence in today, four and a half pence would be sixteen dollars, but four and a half pence back then to US dollar with puss in pation. I think it'd be around a hundred La per bird. You still not much us made all that up, I think, but whatever okay, whatever I could make stuff up, is that a legal? No is fine. I got freedom of speak. I was thinking I was thinking. They were dealing out like a thousand dollars a bottle. Think so I don't think so, because you could turn that into a full time. GIG pretas yeah. No, it doesn't seem like that, but it'd be better for the movie. If it is like right, let's make it like ten thousand a bird yeah it'll be more interesting. That's what I er yeah! They call him the beaker. I like it. I like it. It's you and me man, I'm Baker and your squawk Squawk Beaker, squat quack, get it just be squak no like squaks better than he squak squad. It is that's why I made his quass CA. ACOG is clearly less cool and, like people call you squawk and you correct them, and no it's Qui a squaws. Excuse me please, like you, Er such a nerdy dude in the in the e team fan. You know like you're like get in the bathe like you, squak get up here and you're like it's Squak, quack, say it right or don't say it at all and they're like all right, say it right or don't say it at all, where I'm I'm putting mine, you you've cut off two toes on each foot, so you can connect with the birds or whatever that means, and you I try to get in their mind space. I have. I have my my big toe my pinky toe in that middle time, exactly cut off every mini, say that's exactly what I was thinking. I mean that's exactly what I was thinking. I'm not shopping. Thank of course no! No! No! You got to take every other YEP YEP. So you got this weird like if this is a gang, Zembla, Pais, weird three and he just he has a really hard time. Balancing he's always stumbling around, because he only has three sorry had three does squawk. Are you okay, broken neck? I hear it. You falling down the stairs you're like against the corner like squawk. Are you all right? Are you get squat? It's Squawk squak all right. Well, we're gonna have to we're. Gonna have to hit the rider's room on this. Oh, my gosh. I want to go see this wall honestly yeah. That would be pretty cool. What, if you and I walk the wall Bro that would take cheer it's a continent size wall that would take us weeks. It's two sand miles long. You don't spend that much. How many miles I'm going to google maps how long the walk would do now, there's a due to walk across the whole United States. You know yeah, but he had a cross. He had a reason for it. What that was for the Lord Okay Difference, we're doing this, for why no reason at all for the bit anyway, yeah I'm trying to Google maps it, but I'm I honestly when you said they were they put two gunmen on the top of the hill right there's the mob in the middle, the mob of e Moo in the Midle, I thought they were going to pull a gideon. What do you mean where they just play? Music, real loud ords? You know, but maybe you know in the s the fiddles were pretty it'd, be hot or be a fiddle of nothing. I

Every nation in the world has had its fair share of embarrassing moments. But only one has lost a war to flightless birds. In 1932, the Australian military sent a small group of soldiers to the outback to rid the area of emus who were destroying local crops. The Australian government didn’t expect the decision to lead to The Great Emu War. However, these emus were ready for the battle and exhibited unified tactics and resilience, unlike anything the Australian forces had ever seen. This is the story of a war that Australia wishes it could stamp out from history. This is the great emu war.

The Precurssor to the Great Emu War

With a name like the Great Emu War, you know this will be a wild story. In the aftermath of World War 1, the Australian government wanted to send a thank you to the soldiers who fought for the security of the land down under. So they decided to award every soldier with farmland in the Campion district in western Australia.

Things started great for the veterans turned farmers. But, unfortunately, the sunshine and provision did not last long. Rabbits started destroying the fields of the farmers, which prompted the longest fence in the world. The rabbit-proof fence stretches the entire length of the continent, a full 2,023 miles. But the problems did not stop there. Shortly after, a massive herd of emus began ravaging the crops. The farmers turned to the government for assistance. Little did these veterans know they were standing on the edge of the great emu war.

The Dawn of the Great Emu War

The Australian government received word of the emu problem in the outback and convened to propose solutions. Reluctantly the leadership of the nation agreed to the proposal from the ex-soldiers. Accordingly, Sir George Pearce, the Australian minister of defense, shipped a group of Australian soldiers to the Campion district in October 1932. Armed with two Lewis Machine guns and 10,000 rounds of ammunition, the military hoped to make quick work of the local pests. The emus, on the other hand, had other plans.

A Series of Skirmishes

The Australian soldiers set out through the outback in search of the emus. On November 2nd, they came upon a herd of about 50 emus. The soldiers attempted to herd them together into a tight group to make for an easier target. However, the emus would not give in to the military’s tactics and instead, split into smaller groups and ran in opposite directions. Thus, even though some emus were hit in the conflict, none were killed. After these events, the Australian Major Meredith remarked, “if we had a military division with the bullet-carrying capacity of these birds, it would face any army in the world.”

Battle after battle with the birds came to the same result. Few emus were injured, and even fewer were killed in the conflict. However, even though no Australian soldiers were injured in the battles, the Australian government began to wonder if they were on the winning side of The Great Emu War.

An Australian soldier with a bird killed in the Great Emu War
An Australian Soldier with an Emu that was killed in The Great Emu War.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
Australian Military Pulls Out of the War

The Australian house of representatives gathered to discuss the operation on November 8th, just six days after the beginning of the conflict. The response was mixed, but Sir George Pearce received stark criticism for the battle results thus far. After much discussion, the group decided to pull Australian forces out of The Great Emu War.

The Second Wave

The house’s decision to pull out of the war did not last. The Emus seemed to become even more organized and intent on destroying the crops in the absence of the military. Finally, after much deliberation on the part of the farmer, the military agreed to return to the frontlines of the great emu war and put an end to the destruction. As a result, during the second campaign, the Australian forces saw a much greater degree of success.


Australian forces spent, all in all, nearly 10,000 rounds, and almost 1,000 emus lost their lives in The Great Emu War. But, since the clever birds caused such extreme difficulty for the soldiers, the military pulled out the conflict a second time. After the exit of the Australian forces, the government issued a bounty program for the emus. This program was far more successful than the initial military campaign. After just 6-months, the government had paid out for over 57,000 bounties. Since the end of The Great Emu War, foreigners and Australians alike have proposed that the Australians lost the war.

Things I Learned Last Night is an educational comedy podcast where best friends Jaron Myers and Tim Stone talk about random topics and have fun all along the way. If you like learning, and laughing a whole lot while you do, then you’ll love TILLN. Watch or listen to this episode right now!




The Great Emu War – Wikipedia

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