This story isn’t for you if you have a weak stomach. Honestly, if you’re human, this story isn’t for you. This is easily the most disgusting story we’ve ever told on this show. But, here it is—the Dave Matthews Band Chicago River Incident. Trust us; nothing can prepare you for what you are about to learn. We’re sincerely sorry about this.
The Dave Matthews Band Chicago River Incident
On August 8th, 2004, the Dave Matthews Band was on tour in the midwest. Before a two-night event in East Troy, WI, the band booked a hotel in downtown Chicago. During the stay, one of the band’s tour buses separated from the group and traveled across the city. As the bus crossed over the Kinzie Street Bridge, a grated bridge spanning the Chicago River, the bus driver decided to empty the septic tank. Stefan Wohl, the driver, assumed that because the bridge was grated, the tank’s contents would fall harmlessly into the river below.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia
For the most part, Wohl was correct. The majority of the 800 lb tank load slide through the grates of the bridge. However, Chicago’s Little Lady was crossing under the bridge at that very moment. Chicago’s Little Lady is a tour boat that travels the Chicago River highlighting some of the most noteworthy architectural achievements of the city. This open-air vessel charges nearly $1,000 an hour for the world-famous attraction.
The Aftermath
The tank expelled all 800 pounds of the Dave Matthews Band tour Bus’s waste directly onto the boat’s top deck, which at that time was loaded full of excited tourists. Sightseers were covered head to toe in human feces. Reports state that passengers suffered from contaminants in their eyes, mouths, bags, clothing, and hair. Immediately, the boat docked, and first responders took the passengers to a nearby hospital. No one suffered any serious effects from the incident.
The Investigation
It took law enforcement some time to figure out the culprit in the case. The Dave Matthews Band Buses do not include any indication that they belong to the band. So for witnesses, it was just some random bus. Luckily a nearby gym provided investigators with security camera footage with a clear shot of the bus’s license plate. Initially, the band denied the claims. But after more footage was released with the driver clearly in the picture, the group had no choice but to acknowledge wrongdoing and face the consequences.
The Response
The Dave Matthews Band paid over $300,000 to compensate for the event. The money was a mixture of settlements, fines, and donations to local environmental groups and the city of Chicago. Stefan Wohl was sentenced to 18 months of probation, paid a fine of $10,000, and did 150 hours of community service. In addition to the legal consequences for the incident, Wohl was also terminated as the band’s bus driver.
Conclusion
The Dave Matthews Band Chicago River Incident is one of the nastiest and wild stories we have ever heard. Luckily no one fell ill as a result or contracted any severe diseases. The moral of the story is, if the Dave Matthews Band is in town, don’t get on a boat.
Things I Learned Last Night is an educational comedy podcast where best friends Jaron Myers and Tim Stone talk about random topics and have fun all along the way. If you like learning, and laughing a whole lot while you do, then you’ll love TILLN. Watch or listen to this episode right now!
Sources
The DMB Chicago River Incident – Wikipedia
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