Mike Malloy – The Iron Man Who Just Won’t Die


Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey Man, what's up? Have you ever heard of Mike Malloy? Mike Malloy? Yeah, maybe Michael Malloy, Mike Malloyd? No, I know his son, draco. You might have draco Malloy. What about Mike the Durable or iron mike or Irish drest SPUTIN? Maybe the Juggernaut or, uh this is uh my favorite, the murder trust. Yeah, what is is this a is this a local wrestler? Is this one of those guys, like does backyard wrestle? Sounds like it. It sounds like it. No, it's not, it's ah Um. You know, I think this is better if I don't tell you. Sprinkle on a little bit of rat poison as if it was like a vinaigrette. Did you say innocent and then describe a murder? You know that guy that crawled in the fire yesterday? We've been trying to kill him from MONC won't die. What's that episode of Spongebob where he makes that really nasty looking crabby patty? You know exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, it's gotta look worse than that, right. Things I learned last night. That was the whole episode. What if it's like it's like, actually, this one's better. If you don't know, your life was. My life was better before I knew. It's great. Let me just say, okay, I won't tell you. Sure, let's go and blind. Yeah, let's let's go and blind. Okay, so it's the year is nineteen three. Um, it's it's just February, a couple of years after the Great Depression, the height of the Great Depression. We're still in it. We're still win we spoke. First of all. We're still know when? When does when did the depression officially end? What was the do we know? I'm sure like someone knows. I don't know. When did someone over from to thirty nine? It was the war. The war gave everyone a lot of money because, you know, a bunch of companies profited off of war, as always. Um, wow, that's the thing. So this is the middle of the depression, I guess, the early middle of the Great Depression. Um, New York, the depressions teenage years. What is that? How old is the Depression in human years? That human years. Every year the depression is like eight years. So okay, so at that point the depression would have been four years old. Uh, and so it's about a seven to one ratio. But all age. Yeah, so depression is as old as us at this point. So pretty wise its brain is fully developed at so it's New York City, February. The Bronx. Okay, uh, there's this group of guys right, yeah, you ready? Tony Marino, Joseph Murphy, Francis Pasqual and Daniel Christberg, who were talking about Mike. We're talking about Michael Malloy, Malloy. Yeah, yeah, he's a gangster. He's a mobster in this group. Obviously there are a group of dudes and the Bronx in the Great Depression, uh, and their friends. Um. Also, what's going on in the middle of this era is the only people who had friends in the depression was the mob. Everyone else is on their own. Everyone else is trying to figure out how to meet through the depression. The mob was like they were fine doing okay, yeah, those are a lot of mob names. It was the first one. The Tony Marina's some mob mobby name. Uh, so, Tony Marino, he owned a speakeasy. This is the middle of the prohibition. Oh yeah, and so I wonder how correlated the prohibition and the Great Depression were. Well, I'll tell you what. It was horrible depression and people couldn't drink during it. So it's like, well, I just hit a cave tour the other day. Prohibition was the nineteen so wow, they got like a couple of years into it and they were like, you know what I always said about that? We should drink again, not until the depression is drinking age and it's it is finally Tony One in depression. Now. I went on a cave tour the other day and the caves were used as the does it speakeasy? Yeah, did they do it in a cave or do they have like a like the cool ones, like under a barbershop or something? Yeah, it was something like that. Um, it's in the it's in the Bronx. Um. So these guys there are a group of friends. Um, and the depression obviously was a difficult time financially for a lot of people. Um, we should make alcohol illegal again just because I want to see where the speakeasy pop up in current world. Just because, just like inside a mattress firm underneath the windy's, you know, uh, can I get the four for four? Um, you know, can I get a vanilla frosty and then like the drift just opens up. Anyway, it's like anyways, uh, okay. So, uh, Tony Marino, he's running this. He's gotta speak easy, he's got to speake easy. Um. And the depression was a tough time for a lot of people, uh, and a lot of people turned to some nefarious options of making money, because a lot of people were struggling making its meat. So some people got into some petty theft, UM, some people got into some robbery. Um. A lot array of crimes were being committed by people who are in desperate situations. And this group, Um, they said, you know what, world of that, robbery, theft, things like that. That's the you're not gonna make much money after that. A couple hundred bucks, chirps, Um. We need we need to go after some like enterprise. Yeah, and so they got together and they started Um doing a little uh fraud, um fraud, a little bit of light fraud, some insurance fraud. I do love a little bit of light fraud. Was It was insurance fraud. Ironically, the thirties were is the fraudyest insurance period UH in history. Um, for a couple of reasons. Historians thicket was one. The depression was happening and so a lot of people were desperate and insurance fraud was one of the easier frauds to commit, especially because at that time, well also in Um, more fraudulent checks had been cashed in than in the entire two decades before that. When things get tough, I mean people fraud. Uh, people, fraud, afraid people, fraud people. I had that motivational poster up there, you know, afraid people, fraud people. Okay, so um the but they also think that the insurance agents, the salespeople, we're getting commissions and they were like I'll turn a blind eye to what I'm pretty sure fraud, so I could get commission off that Um. But there was also really lax regulations with insurance in that era, Um, and so a lot of new regulations respond out of this era, one of the bigger ones being Um, the person who was having an insurance policy taken out on them did not have to be present at the time of sale. So I could just take out an insurance policy on you and you didn't have to know and then I could go kill you and be like hey, he's dead and then I would get the money back, because they were just like, yeah, I'm sure this guy is I'm sure this guy's okay with this, I'm sure he knows you. And could you kill me and then take out the insurance? You'd have to be pretty fast. You'd have to get that work done pretty could you run me over with your car and then take out an insurance policy, but way too much for the insurance to kick in, and then and then claim the insurance on that? You'd have to do some serious embalming and make sure like you never decayed a little bit. Um. But if you could pass it off a fresh dis start scamming dude here. Yeah, we should start taking a shared note on our phones. Anytime you think of a good scam, let's just put it in there. That's a good scam. That's a good scam, like a good scam. So, uh, these guys were like hey, yeah, who were they taking? Were they killing people? It started off started off pretty normal. Um, it started off innocently enough. Um, with UH, one of the guys was dating this girl. It wasn't going great and so they said, Hey, what if she just got pneumonia? And so what they did is uh took out an insurance policy on her. Uh opened up the window. It's December and UH, New York dumped a bunch of water on her. got a really drunk first, so she would to notice. Got A really drunk, dump a bunch of water on her and just let her die overnight. Called up one of her hospitals. Yeah, yeah, called it one of their doctor friends and was like hey, we'll give you a piece of the Pie if you say it was like just pneumonia and America. And so he signed it off. And the people people was just get them drunk, get them cold and make it just dousement water. Well, they said they wanted it to look if anyone was going to look into this, they wanted it to look natural, and so they didn't want there to be any like evidence of strigulation or a struggle or anything like that. And it was a pretty natural looking desk. She got drunk, left the window open, got a little wet, froze Um and so, uh, and they got away with it. So the first one they did was murder. Yeah, I said, could they merge her murdering people? And you went, well, it started pretty pretty innocent. Is that the word? You used. I don't remember exactly what he said. Did you say innocent and then describe a murder? Because that's what it seems like I might. It started pretty innocent. You know, the first guy was just his girlfriend, you know, just some poor girl who had no idea and uh, you know, got her drunk, thumbed some water on her and it was left her for dead. It just left the window open. Okay, yeah, yeah, I guess it wasn't that innocent. Yeah, it started. So it started at murder. I thought you were gonna be like yeah, I mean it started pretty simple, like they just, you know, put a cast on an arm that wasn't broken. You know that the doctor be like and then, AH, you know, they collected some insurance money. They went straight to murder. Didn't didn't even pass go and collect twos, they just went straight to murder. I will say I don't think that was where it started. I think there was some other light frauds that committed before this. I think this was where, uh, there's a pivot point when they realized hey, we could kill someone and people wouldn't notice. Um, Yeah's also in the thirties. You could just do that anyway. It's true. Yeah, Um. So then they started thinking, well, Hey, um, what if we could take out a few more insurance policies on somebody? If they didn't know, we could get a bunch like different from different financial organizations, get that to add up to a bunch of money and then, yeah, and then make off with a bunch more money because they made I think they made two thousand dollars off of, Um, that girlfriend's policy, which was, I don't know, uh during the depression. Yeah, let me let me check. Still, it was a good chunk of change. In the thirties. That's probably forty. Yeah, but even still, like that's not you're you're splitting this between uh, five guys, six guys. Um, so it comes up to thirty three grand. But then you're splitting that five ways. So everyone walked away with like a month's rent. Okay. Uh. So it really wasn't that significant of UH murder. And so they were like, how can we make some more money off of this? And so they started devising this plan. And but also, you've got like five other guys you gotta Trust. Yeah, yeah, that's that's why it's called the murder trust. Yeah, trust, that's what we're gonna get. That makes sense. Okay. Uh So then the plan was, hey, let's let's take this out. A bunch of different financial institutions on the same person. Will create a fake identity for them and then we'll we'll kill them, plant the identity, like the I D cards and stuff on them after they die. Let them get discovered. There's the ID cards, and then whoever is the fake sibling or whoever took up the policy will have fake I d stuff. They'll go colo act and then we split the cash. Um. Okay, flawless plan. And then they thought, oh wait, who are we gonna kill? Well, I mean, if you're gonna do fake I D S, couldn't you just, you know, you could really ride the same body a couple different cover different times. You know, just keep dropping, keep dropping different ideas in and put them in different place. This word, so you think. You just roll up into predential and like I got a dead person. Here's this idea to get an insurance playing one. I'm like a week ago in the thirties they were like it, we're so busy with the depression. You know, you gotta take you gotta Way too much. Get that body out of here. You know, they were so prisy they didn't care. They was like yeah, sure, take the money, get back to depressing. You know. They're like there, like hey, nobody's allowed in here, the sciences employees. That was a stress joked. Give me some time, I'll figure that out by the end of the episode. All right, no, okay. So, uh, they were like, Hey, well, who are we gonna kill? Right, we gotta FIGURE OUT WHO WE'RE gonna kill. Um. Coincidentally, UH, there was a epidemic of alcohol poisoning during the prohibition because everybody was making their own alcohol, right, seriously, very strong Um, and people were killing themselves by too much of this alcohol, too strong. Hey, thanks for checking out this episode. We love our listeners a lot. In one way that you can let us know you're here is by leaving a podcast review. Maybe that's a five star thing in the apple podcast at. Maybe you listen on spotify or, if you're watching on youtube, leave a comment. We do read all the comments and reviews. We just love knowing what you think about this show. Also, if you haven't yet, go check out some of our other episodes. My current favorite is the identical strangers episode. It's three brothers or triplets who were separated at birth, knows to them or their parents, as part of a really weird experiment. So there's a lot of really fun stuff we talked about in the episode, but thank you for checking this out. Now back to this one. I said, perfect, let's just find a local drunk and that's stage and alcohol poisoning. Um. And so, coincidentally enough for them, there was a guy by the name of Mike Malloy who frequented Tony Marinos speakeasy. They actually banned him from it because he had an unpaid tab that was very, very large. Um. He a little bit about you want to make even on your tab? A little bit about Mike Malloy. He's Uh an Irish born immigrant, Um, from the county of Donegal, Ireland, Um, and he was a firefighter who got fired for drinking on the job in in New York, in New York. Yeah, so this guy is not going to go down with alcohol poisoning. I know where the story is going. I know they tried to kill him, but he's Irish and he's a firefighter, right. And so he woke up and was like so they called up they called up Mike, they said Hey, Mike, longtime no see, we miss having you around the speakeasy. He's like, I didn't pay, though, and they're like, you know what, your Tab's cleared and honestly, we just miss having you here, so let's wrack up a bigger tab, buddy. They just said, hey, drinks all drinks around the house for you. You can have whatever you want, drink as much as you want. You're clear. And so he's like, well, that sounds like a deal. And so he shows up at like noon and they just party with him to the night. They're like, let's just keep it going, keep it going, and they just keep feeding this guy more drinks Um, hoping that, uh, he'd give himself. But with every drink he takes he grows stronger, grows another head. Uh. So you were right. Uh, he doesn't. He doesn't, doesn't get um, he drinks a whole bunch, gets super drunk, passes out. They were like, and they're like perfect, he's gonna die. Perfect, he's gonna die. Yeah, he didn't. He came back the next day at like nude and drunk all day again, and this happened like three or four times and we can't get this guy to drink himself into the grave. So they said, what are we gonna do? Um, banned him again. Well, one of the friends in the group Um before the Great Depression and he got laid off. He was a chemist, and so he said, Hey, I've got an idea. Um, let's get a little light poisoning and fault with this light fraud, and so dabble in poisoning someone. So he gets some wood alcohol, UM, which is basically pure methanol. Um. Honestly, the thing that we could describe it closest to today is and I freeze Um. And they're like, let's just give him a bunch of that and tell us this new drink that we're testing, and like you can test out this new drink. Um. We think, like, we're not sure if everyone else is going to have the stomach for it, but you got like an Irom. So so they get him a drunk. They give him, they start giving this wood alcohol and he just slammed. Someone dumps water on him. He's like, Hey, what's that? Are you cold blowing on the what's going on? Viti was the other one. That was the other one. That was the other play. This is why we don't about you this anymore. I'm not about of the murder trust anymore. Shut your mouth talking about the murder dress. Shut your mouth. He's next we have. Do we have a do we have a life insurance policy on Viti if maybe you can drink as much as he wants. No, no tab. Why don't you start drinking? Uh? So he's just pounding these wood alcohol glasses like no effect, like just slamming them, uh, and they're like this is gonna catch up with them eventually, at the end of the night, late and early in the morning, like yes, they're perfect. So he leaves, he goes home, shows up the next day around dude, and that was great, guys. Uh. So skin is clearer, looking healthier. You know, it's some more of that new drink. It's well what uh? Some chemists have evaluated this situation, uh since, and what they said that they can happen is, uh, they got him drunk before they gave him the wood alcohol. Um, and traditional alcohol is ethanol. Ethanol, uh, breaks down methanol, and so it doesn't have any effect on your body. And so if you pro Tipu pro tip, pro tip, if you ever drink any freeze drink a bunch of alcohol, because that is literally the cure. Um, it breaks down the ANI, freezing your stomach, and that's how you get out of there without dying. And that's what the guy told me when I was super driving him once. I was like, man, you look, are you okay? Like you look like you've had too much. No, I drink some anti freeze earlier, and so, honestly, I'm just doing the responsible thing, you know, and I'm just trying to get just drinking them to way more. I'm just trying to survive. Ye, Hey, dude, look at you. Keep proud of you, man, taking care of your body. I mean that's great awareness, man. Uh. So they said they filled his body with ethanol, so that way, when he drank the methanol freeze, there's the cure. Natty, like right where those their commercials? It's terrible. Uh. And so it didn't work and they were like dumbfounded that this didn't work. Uh. And so one of the guys in the group was like, Hey, I heard about this guy who was this thing called bullets. There's no way he'll survive, right. I heard about this guy who ate some oysters while drinking whiskey. Uh, and apparently there was like a chemical reaction, and so they found some of the sounds of the people who were like, dude, if you eat pop rocks and drink soda, your stomach will explode. Did you know that? Have you ever heard that before? So they said. So what they did? Do you know if you sleep with your contacts and your eyes will fall out? Let's put some contexts in his eyes. Don't tell him. Do you know that? If you put someone's hand in water while they're sleeping, they'll beat themselves? You won't kill him, but it'll be pretty funny. So what he said is they took these uh rotten oysters, okay, and they said, Hey, I forget the whiskey. Let's pickle them in wood alcohol. And so they took a that of that would alcohol through a bunch of rotten oysters in there and let them get pickled. Um. I love, I love. They're so confident that they're like this smells terrible, it looks awful and Mike's gonna eat it. He's gonna, you know, it's kind of a given that he's gonna eat it, like it doesn't no matter how it smells or what color it is or what it looks like like Mike's probably gotta eat this. You know, I love that they took that for granted. They were like, obviously he'll eat it, you know, no question about it. And then they're all joking around, laughing later and there and Mike's like Ah, you're killing it, but they were like we're trying, Mikey, we're trying to kill you so hard, man. I mean it's true. They totally were just like yeah, he'll eat it. Um He did. A couple of days later, after they pickled it, they served on this plate of these oysters and he asked second sounds like the kind of dude who, a couple of years ago, when I first proved to Kan city, one of the major news stories was that guy who wrote around in a four wheler naked. Did you see that, chased around on four thirty five and all that stuff? That is this guy. Yeah, I think I think you're right on it. Might it might be him. What if he ate enough rotten oysters that, you know, that's why the Queen's so old. You know, it's because she ate a lot. Her secret is up. Yeah, yeah, okay, that's great. Yet so people I mean the royal families kept that pretty, pretty secret, pretty secret. So, UH, a couple of days later, after they pickled these oysters, uh, they fed it to him and he sure enough, just ate him and they fed and they were like there's like, Hey, here's the news thing we got. Yeah, they're like, Hey, man, we got a new yeah. Well, they made him a plate of him and he loved him so much he asked for seconds and they were like okay, Um. So they got him drunk again. He went home, came back the next day totally fine, UM, which, I'm gonna be honest with you, like I don't know what they expected with that. Like I feel like that's like a Oh, he's gonna get food poisoning, he's probably gonna throw up, but it's like is he gonna die? It's a ridiculous plan to me. I know what they expected. They expected him to not. You're right, but also, these guys are not starting to sound very smart. So so. So the next day they said we gotta up to Annie Um next, day after day after day, sing seven weeks, seven assassination tips and not even knowing and you're just like, dude, I'm having them the best week, like he just keep giving me freeze stuff. Yeah, so he comes into the speakeasy and uh, there's what's the password there? Do we know? UH, time for Malloy to die. Malloy die, Malloy murder, party of five. Yep, you didn't. Here you go. He's not hungover every day. I mean I'm sure he's Hungover, but he's the cure for hangover is just more, is more. So he comes in and the speakeasy and uh, he gets in there and UH, they had made a new meal for him and they said, hey, we got a new dish we want you to try, and he's like absolutely, you've been making great food lately. Brought it out, he ate the plate. They were like not Mike. Yeah, he's like, dude, I I know my dishes, you know, and that's a good dish. It's a good dish, this chewing the porcelain thing. They made a sandwich for him and the Sandwich consisted of an old shoe, an old literally an old can of Sardine's that had just been under the counter. Biting that can. Well, wait, uh, there's the sardines. Uh. And then they sprinkled on a little bit of rat poison as if it was like a vinaigrette. Uh. And then they put in some broken glass, some carpet tax uh, like just this thing's gotta look like what's that episode of Spongebob where he makes that really nasty looking crabby patty? You know exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah, it's gotta look worse than that, right, I don't know, but sure enough, good old Mike Malloy eats the whole thing and it's like hey, this is pretty good, pretty good, he's leading. MUST HAVE BIT my tongue. No Way. They just can't kill this guy. And honestly, I've eaten that. I have not eaten the sandwich, but I made a kid eat that when I was a youth pastor. So like youth camp there, and that's a wild yeah, that is a pretty youth pastory sandwich. Yeah, Sardines and broken glass. Next time you gotta be like you guys got any if you eat this whole thing, I'll dye my hair blonde. It's like every every pastor. If you eat that whole thing, I'll do something very trindy. Like what are you talking about, dude? That's not even I'll buy a Gucci sweater. Yeah, I did. I bet my friend a pair of sneakers. You wouldn't need that. So, oh my gosh, that's so funny. UH, yeah, so, uh, this guy's just that time and the murder trust gets together and they're like like hey, none of this is working. We need we can't call ourselves the murder trust anymore unless we can murder some we can't murder anybody, but we can't be the murder trust if our murders aren't trustworthy. Uh. And so they said, what are we gonna do? We gotta, we gotta. This isn't working. He said, Hey, hey, hey, hey, are you're doing all of them? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, they said. We got off the rails, guys, we didn't do what we know how to do. We're over here trying to poison the guy who were freezers, freezers, we should have trying to poison the guy. That's not what we have experienced in yeah, Hey, thanks again for listening to this episode. If you like our show, make sure you follow us on social at tilling podcast or subscribe anywhere where you're listening to right now, whether that's Youtube, spotify or apple podcast, whatever it is, and if you want more, we do have a patreon you can support us on. In there, you get all sorts of perks like add free episodes, early access to our content and even a discord with our hosts and producers. So We'd love for you to check that out. All you gotta do is text till into six, six, six. That's till into six, six, six, six. But thanks again for checking us out. So the next day malloy shows up to speakeasy. They get them really drunk and they say, Hey, another one of those sandwiches. I'm Bro to him. They didn't. He asked. He asked. theders his carpet taste. Where's that? Well, I see it, only broken glass, glass smashes. It May. They come in and he's just like here's one. He's like he's doing the whole thing right. He cuts it into four pieces. Right, he uses toothpicks to make it a club sandwich. He's the toothpick with it, right, I'm talking about it. He's the kind of guy that asks for extra toothpicks in his club sandwich because he likes the way it feels in his mouth. You know, this guy's bonkers. Hey, Tony, you're a poison. Yeah, Oh man, okay, yeah, that's UH. He's got his feet in the fryers right, because it feels good, right, foliating his feet with the air with them with the French fry fryers. Totdale is stuck in the fire. Uh. Yeah. So, Um, they get him really drunk again, yea. And they they convinced him to what. They convince him that there's like some events are gonna get he tried to do this earlier to him. I don't know. I don't know if they wanted to go bowling or like. I don't know what they said, but they were like. They're like, they're like hey, Mike, want to go bowling? And it's again. And so they walk him out in the park, uh, and they wait till he passes out and lay him out on Um a park bench. This is February in New York, very cold. They take his shirt, they dump five gallons of water on him and they just peece out. And so they expected, here we go, we got him. We froze them. That's what we know how to do. Um, the next day they're hanging out in the speakeasy and vinny's like, Hey, guys, kill that guy. Yet we dumped some water on him last night and he's like that's what I tried to do a week ago. Yeah, and you guys have been giving me rat poison ever since. Uh. And then, uh, right on cue, Mike Walks into the speech, arms frozen up with a brand new shirt. Hey, guys, can't put his arms down. It's frozen. I don't know what happened, but I've frozen. Something froze me last night. Came the air fire side of a thaw. Slowly goes in like you like you do to a hot tub, you know where you try to like slowly. Uh. Well, what happened? He's laying in the fire. There's a fireplace. He's laying in it. He's like sorry, guys, I was gonna he's just he's like Oh yeah, that was pretty crazy. Right. Guys, you were like what is going went on? Dude picking little carpet tax out of his teeth. Uh. So what happened was the crew went home, he sat there frozen and drunk for a little bit and then the police found him and they were like, oh, we'll go take this guy to a homeless shelter. They drop him off there. The homeless shelter, gives them new clothes, thaws them out and then sends him on his Merry Way. And he wakes up the next morning no memory of any of it and it's just like, yeah, I woke open this homeless shelter and they gave me a new shirt, and then he's like, you guys want to drink. So at this point the murder trust is frustrated. They can't do what they're good at, they can't do what they're not to that they're just failing left and right. This is not worth their investment in time now, because now they're looking. I mean, you really like break this down right. This is how freelancers work. You know, you get a good chunk of that insurance fraud money, right, but when you break it down to the amount of hours that you're putting into these, well, you also got to they're doing minimum wage. You also got to think all the alcohol that they've spent on from saying like there's the cost of this is starting to push. It's hard to write that off. You know you can't write off murder expenses on your taxes. Can I get on a call with the Triple Tax Guy? Hey? Yeah, so we were murdering this guy earlier this year. And what do I label this in quick books if I use this to take somebody out? Um. So they said, you know what we needed? We need to hire an expert. They got to bring somebody else in. So they hire mob Hitman, and the mob Hitman is like, Oh, this is easy. He's like, you're a taxi driver. He's like, you guys tried freezing him? What? Alcohol? Sardines? He's like. He's like, this is easy, you're you're a taxi cab driver. And he's like, let's who's the tash scared or one of the one of the trusters? Um, and so, uh, he's like, let's uh, let'shit him with the event together. You guys are gonna meet up somewhere, parked the cab around the corner. When he walked in the corner, hit him. You know, Oh, I was. And so they set this up. They stayed this thing for him to meet them at some place on the other side of town and take the cab out there. And as he walked by, they just they hit him at forty five, run him over, uh, and they freaked out. They're like, oh, he is super dead. And so they ran because they had never done anything this violent before. They killed somebody and they tried to kill this guy a lot. But everything that they've done to this point, this is like nine attempts. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot of attempts. Um. And so they ran. They freaked out because this was the most violent like murder that they had ever committed. I mean these are all like. This is a guy, it was a chemist, a taxi cab driver. These aren't cold blood of killers, these are just they had to hire a consultant. You know, we gotta bringing the big guns. And when they said that, they should have thought guns. We gotta bring in the big guns. Oh, really, really, that would be wait easier. The mob guy, mob. Okay, Um, well, I guess they still needed to look like an accident for the insurance. Yeah, so they were cautiously optimistic at this point. They they yeah, we're getting with the cab last night and they went back to the speakeasy and waited through the day. He didn't show up. Next Day didn't show up. Next Day didn't show up. So they said, okay, surely he he actually died, and so they started trying to go find him because he was three days. They had to get the paper. M I was just trying the timeline. Right Friday they hit him with a cab. Saturday. They were feeling pretty confident. Sunday was just around the corner. Hang on on this. In the speakeasy Sunday morning and the door literally rolls off the hinges. They're like, who opens doors like that? They went out searching for him and somebody said, why do you look here? There was some gardener in the city. There's no garden anywhere nearby, and he's like, guys, it's me, it's me, Michael Halloy. It's me Michael Malloy. A will the cabs ever picks him up, drove seven miles, didn't even realize him. Are that? Someone's like, all right, I don't believe that's him until I see I see their cards and his teeth. All Right, okay, Thomas, this is what that guy meant. We had a guy who's really annoyed who said to so many emails about how many Bible related jokes we make, and this is what he means. Yeah, it's like it's like you're blasphemous man. Honestly, I would hope that people who listen to it. Are encouraged by how well we know the scriptions. We understand all right. So here's the deal. This put them in the position where, speaking of Bible Jokes, uh, we talked about this in Biblicool a lot. Where is the body? You have to know. Where is the body to prove? Well, yeah, they can't claim the insurance if they don't know. Yeah, you have to bring the body to predential. Say Look, you got I'd like to claim a life insurance. You got the body. So that the other place that says nobody is allowed employees only. You're saying that this life insurance place is employees and you have like you got to bring you have to bring a government I d you gotta have a check, right, and you have to have the body with you. The documents they require are it's pretty insane. It's like, can I have a photo copy of the dead body? Yeah, to have the original. You have to. I don't have the original. Can I all overnight? It all overnight. The body got to work for us. Can I submitted electronically? Yeah, yeah, can I just take a picture on my phone and send it to you? That's worse. That's worse. I think, Oh my God, why do you have a picture of your dead uncle on your phone? It's an insurance thing. Yeah, I forgot to take it off. I forgot to Leet that picture. Okay, so where's the body? They gotta find the body. Where is it? Who's got this thing? They go to the mall and it's a mannequin. Someone's propped it up to him. They start going to all the uh local hospitals, being like hey, did this guy check in? It's my brother. I haven't been able to find them. And they're checking all these places. They can't find them. They've been to every hospital and no one has a record of them. They're looking around trying to track this guy down. They call insurance and they try to open the claim it. Insurance is like, well, you got to see the body. They were just Sherwin Williams, the paint store, and they found him just scoop and paint and drinking it. Michael, he's double, double hand is lapping up some paint. Why not? I mean the guy's crazy. If he laughs like a dog, send him home. Uh So, uh, it's another Bible joke. So they they try to open up these shirts with a cant uh and UH, they're they're looking everywhere, right, right. One day they're back and speak easy and they're like, I don't I think we just do another I think we have to pick out another drunk. And as they're coming up with their plan, trying to pick out pick up, the door opens, Mike Willoly wags in a couple of casts. Clearly he injured. You guys are never gonna I got hit by a cab. I saw you. Ever heard from me in a few weeks? Hey, by the way, years outside, did you hear a deer or something? Yeah, you got a big old dead actually matches my back and I was like, well, that's my but I know. I know my butt when I see it, you know. So uh, he's just like yeah, you guys are Never gonna believe this. They got hit by a car. was in the hospital for a few weeks. Like what hospital were that? We were at that hospital. They called the hospital. They're like hey, we came looking for our friend and he was there and like Ah, we forgot to put it in the records. That's a people are like Oh, yeah, we forgot. Sorry, might be Ibot to write it down. So the problem persists. Michael is still alive, Um, injured. It was still alive and so frustrated, Um, and coming close to not profiting on this whole in Denver, the crew decides they're gonna get him drunk again, and I hope that works. Just kidding. They're gonna get him drunk again, take him into one of the back rooms to speakeasy and connect a hose to one of the coal events, because they had the coal heaters, and just hold it on his mouth until he dies of carbon monoxide poisoning. Okay, took about an hour, Um, and then he went unconscious and they were like, all right, he's dead. took him to the same uh doctor from before and they said, Hey, we'll give you a cut if you say it was car from say it was pneumonia, which to me I'm like, that was was made is in casts. He got a pneumonia. He got pneumonia, so doctor was like sure, so you wat a death certificate. Got Pneumonia. They sent it off to all these all these insurance agencies, and the insurance agencies are like, all right, here's money. They got hold on dollars which today would be seventy three Um, but they had spent about two thousand dollars on an alcohol and Ron Startin's and stuff like that. UH, so profit about less than the first UH murder. But they got away with this one. And then two months later, yeah, a couple months later, uh, Mike or not Mike? Uh, I believe it was. So he died, though. He actually did die this time. He did die. Joseph, Joseph. I was really hoping he's gonna be like yeah, he pulled through. Na, no, Joseph Murphy Um got arrested on unrelated charges, totally unrelated, and the insurance company was looking at this case and they're like something's little fishy about this, and so they tried to contact Joseph, but nobody like this guy. They couldn't get ahold of the homeless shelter. Nights before that, hit by a cab and then carbon and then got pneumonia, like there's some strange stuff going on here, um. And so they started trying to contact Joseph for further questioning. But he's in jail because he got Um arrestaurants some other unrelated charge. Um, probably alcohol or whatever. In the prohibition. So he's he's in jail. They can't contact him. So they contact the local authorities and say hey, we want to look further into this. So we start the body. You want to examine it? So they call it another corner for a second opinion, and the body is clearly carbon monoxide poisoned, and they're like yeah, that wasn't pneumonia, this was carbon monoxide poisoning, and they're like oh well, that's strange. So then they did some further investigating the doctor. They started asking everybody who knew Mike Malloy, and the Nice thing about having five people and then a separate doctor and a separate mob person involved in your murder is they all talked about Mike Malloy and how hard he was to kill. Just openly. Oh Yeah, we killed this guy, we tried to take this guy out, and then the door opens they're like, Oh yeah, you and that guy that crawled in the fire yesterday. We've been trying to kill for months. He won't die invincible. Uh and UH. Someone heard and was like, Oh yeah, that was those guys. Uh. And then I heard down at the but then you're in a real conundrum, right because down at the windy's barber, no, I haven't heard about him, never met never mind. Sorry. Is that the yeah, draco right from Harry Potter? Right, DRACO Malloy. That's what I was thinking of. That's what I was thinking of. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, detective. Yeah, yeah, no, I never knew him. Are you sure? I swear I never knew him. No, I'm pretty sure I saw it. No, I never knew him. You know, as another Bible Joke, the detectives daughter walks in. It's like you hell, that guy, that guy. Okay, they're just getting really ridiculous. So, uh, they connect them to it, they arrest them, they try them and it was it was actually uh, two of the doctor and one of the other guys in the group uh got lengthy prison sentences. Um, I don't know exactly how long, but the other four got sentenced to death in the electric chair. So, like they weren't messing around with this. Um, it's pretty crazy. Uh, all four what today would be seventy three grand that they split six ways. Yeah, so they did not. It was not worth it for them. I'm not that killing anybody's ever crazy. Survived the electric chair. They're the fantastic four. was like hit him with a cap, like hey, we got a consultant. He said we aired this because, he said, in them with the CAP. That's crazy. Yeah, so Mike Malloyd just didn't die. These people got labeled the Murder Trust, Um, and then pretty quickly the government was like we should get rid of prohibition. Uh, this was stressful, I do. I feel so bad from Mike Delloyd, though, because this whole time this poor guy thinks he's just got this great group of friends and he's all like super lucky, giving him that hung out with the cool kids. But you knew the cool kids were all making fun of it. They're just messing with them. They were just trying to kill him and cash on policy. Yeah, rich kids, uh so. Yeah, poor Mike Malloy. anyways, Hey, I mean to be honest, though. I didn't he die thinking he had friends? That is a good point. Yeah, he thought, he thought everyone loved him. Well, probably not. When they were just shoving out host down his throat. The very he was like, he's like this is I don't like this drake. This isn't as good as the saying what you give, give me the sandwich instead. Um. But yeah, rumor has it, uh that, uh, there's a barbershop in the Bronx Uh and if you go to the back of that barbershop and you pull Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stone off the shelf Um at five o'clock in the afternoon, then you can still hear the sound. Well, fiddle off. Things on them last night is a production of space tim media, produced by Christian Taylor. Audio is edited by Alice Garnett, video by Connor Betts. Social media is run by Caleb Walker and graphic designed by Caleb Goldberg, our host, or Jarren Meyers and Tim Stone. Please follow us on social media at tilling podcast. THAT'S T I L O in podcast. Leave a review, comment, subscribe wherever you are. Thank you for listening to things on them last night

The great depression was one of the most challenging times in history. The financial uncertainty of the time led many to nefarious forms of income. Unfortunately for Mike Malloy, others looked to more extreme measures. Over a few months in early 1933, a group of five directed by Tony Marino repeatedly attempted to kill Malloy to claim a significant life insurance policy they had taken out on him. The group didn’t anticipate just how difficult it would be to kill Mike. Night after night, the group concocted increasingly gruesome plans; however, without any clear explanation, Mike survived. Eventually, the group was successful at its goal. But the success wouldn’t last long as the group failed to keep quiet and faced the music.

Things I Learned Last Night is an educational comedy podcast where best friends Jaron Myers and Tim Stone talk about random topics and have fun all along the way. If you like learning and laughing a lot while you do, you’ll love TILLN. Watch or listen to this episode right now!




Mike Malloy – Wikipedia

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