Lawn Chair Larry – Larry Walter’s Sketchy Balloon Chair Flight

11-16-21

Episode Transcription

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Hey Man, what's going in not much have you heard, have you heard of Larry Walters Wary Walters Yeah. Is that later the cucumbers official? Last name? No? No, you might know him from his more infamous name lawn chair Larry. Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, okay! Yep M! So I know what we're talking about. So you may have heard of this guy yeah he's pretty famous yeah. He murdered somebody with a lawn chair, just like stood over him lawn chair and then just got guillotine like a Oh God. You know. Is that not longer Larry Yeah? He announced himself before to yes that person's the one I's going to spread his rumors he's. Like you know, the wet bandits were the wet bandits with a lot I'm voluntarily on chair Larry. He was not a murder. No! No! No! No! We know of. I don't know he could have been. I could have been this God on his escape. It took so long because they had put it on the back of a truck and drive it down a highway. I'm just going to Vedal blind people and he's making history as the first blind pilot for American Airlines. You go into a hospital with a Pella in your hind and someone's like what happened. Well, I was looking up at this guy, but forty three heroin, Molin Tiso launcher Larry, was a dude who lived in San Pedro, California, and loved the sky and all things flying and one day he thought it would be cool to strap a bunch of balloons to his lawn chair and go for a flight yeah because it is like what up is based off of right. I think so. I think so there's a lot of imitations after this. He actually wasn't the first to try this though, but we'll get to that. Let's start with dried it huh different people tried it. Oh yeah, it became a thing so because of him or like they had tried it before him. One person tried before him. He got the idea from someone else, let's, let's pack it up. Let's start the story right lawn, chair, Larry, born Richard Walters went by Larry is no name Laurence. Okay, Larry always dreamed of becoming a pilot for the: U S Air Force. He was born in one thousand nine hundred and forty nine. I always dreamed of becoming a pit pilot spent his free time, military surplus stores, buying model airplanes, yeah laying out in his yard, watching the planes fly by wanted to be a pit so bad. Eventually, when I became an adult and sis en listen, the air force wanted to go through their pilot training program become a pilot was to tall no had that eyesight. So you can't see far enough and contact haven't come out yet so we can't do anything for sorry. You can't fly on account of the you know, forehead on your face, there's just no eyes there. Yet you need eyes to feed eyes to fly yeah. You know what they say eyes in the sky, not for heads in the sky. You know so yeah unqualified. I saw the panic in your eyes as you try to figure out a way to end that prose you're like not for heads in the sky. You know you tried that was great yeah, okay, so so he gets, gets, kicked out of high school and is like Hey, you could go, do something else in the air force and but he tried so he was like. No. I can see he's like. I can see he's like he's like look at. I see the here's a thing about flying, though, is like listen here: Ma'am, okay! Well I maybe this is a I've played a lot of flight simulator and here's the thing about flying. You definitely need to see your instruments, but when I fucos life, here's the thing about marriage stupid. You see your instruments, that's important, that's really important yeah kind of. But you look at the window and here's a thing. You know I've died, I've driven a lot. You see your instruments right, you literally go to that one, because you freaking drive here's the thing, but flying is not like driving like you driving on the highway. There's a lot pretty close to you that you need to be able to see pretty well flying. Things are pretty far away the ground's pretty far away. The Sky is pretty far away. All the things are going to hit, but they're pretty far away, so it doesn't matter how good dry sight is. It's bory like it's poorty for everybody, because it's far away yeah. So, let's be honest, does he need good eyesight? I don't know M, maybe to land. No, no, because here's the thing you don't need, if it's blurry is there been a blind pilot? We look that up. please. Is there been a blind? I seriously doubt it. I think it's against the law, but yeah we'll see I guarantee someone's on it. O. Oh, is this another episode? Is there a blind pilot hold on yeah? I believe in that guy or girl. What that's right do an inception. Okay, so hey man yeah, have you ever heard of Miles Hilton, Barber Miles Hilton, barber? HMM! No! Does he happen to be blind just on a guess, yeah. I was just a guess. I your born. I haven't done any research, so this is going to be very good episode or inception episode, but here's a fig in Si shod Miles Hilton Barber as a British adventurer who I'm literally just reading the wikipedia article, despite being blind, undertook a variety of expeditions all around the world to raise awareness for raise awareness and monote money for a charity organization and blind people in general in general. What you raising money for blind folks, please get Juan, I'm just gonna Ven me blind people is his accomplishments, include climbing mount blank and running across the Gobi Desert and accomplishing a flight from London to Sydney Bola by himself. I don't know, there's no way yeah, you would have to wow from London to Sydney. I was literally thing like a right brother situation where he flew like a couple hundred yards or whatever that's a light man. That's like a real flight first blind by it to take undertake what the heck. How would you feel? Was it a solo flight? I don't know, I'm still I'm s so he. How would you feel if you're, let's say you're on American Airlines and ower the Intercom to cup? Ladies and Genleman, we just have a announcement to make our head pilot for the day is making history and everyone claps, and it's like yes, he's making history as the first blind pilot for American Airlines and you you can't be like hold on right, because that seems rude. So here's the deal. Okay, so I don't know exactly I'm still trying to figure out. If I, the Word E of I'm, worried that he might be more interesting than the actual topic, an I'm like I'm a little worried about. So do you want to like? Do you want to do research on it? We talk about a different episode or an you want to. His conception was just as I think, we're kind of to the end of his accomplishments. So he his flight is, what's called a micro flight, I'm still trying to figure out what that means. But you know it's kind of like a microwave right. What yeah it's just based on radio active stuff? Okay, I don't know where I was going with it. Okay fight, so micro flights are okay, microplates are not planes technically they're like they, so you could be a blind like train engineer, that's on track! You you! Let that control you so microplates there like this: Oh okay, okay, sitting them and apparently, and I'm still trying to figure this out. It sounds like the remote controlled. So it sounds like he just sat in this plane. While someone flew into Sydney in this remote control play, I'm not I'm not a hundred percent positive. What year is it? I don't know I mean it seems relatively recent, I'm trying to figure out, because this guy he's a motivational speaker now he he's still alive yeah a rational speaker. Oh here's, his website. Okay, what your one flight happen! This will be helpful. Okay, he took a fifty five day. Twenty twenty one thousand flight, my Columbro flight from London to Ciney fifty five days. Yeah took him fifty five days, so he did have a sited, copilot O, but h he used a speech output technology. I don't know that means to help him pilot his place. So he piloted it. Oh, my gosh and he broke the sound bear okay, but this is it. This is what all I did he. What is happening right now? Who is this guy he's set waiting for you to tell Siruta the globe using eighty different forms of transport, including boat, Bob sled, Whitewater, rafting and swimming scuba, diving Pari sailing. He dined blind, scuba diving stresses me out yeah, that does. Let's see he was the first blind person to participate in a drag racing event driving out a hundred and fifty miles n now got that mountain. I mentioned that he took a four hundred. Kilometer sledge is what this says across Antarctica. He ran across the Sahara. Was He on a hundred and fifty miles across the say? Who is this m? So was so he did a did. He do a dog sled team yeah by himself across him, well yeah, but you got twelve seeing eye dogs to pull your slit. This man is a legend. This guy's I was what was his name again Miles Hilton Barber, myles, Hiland Barber. We should interview them yeah. We should I mean we can we can reach out to him Jus, but it does events yeah. I we got a couple O weeks. We try to give it at the live show no, but I think we should try yeah. I mean no fiddle off that guy, so launcher Lange Larry couldn't make it in the navy or in the Air Force. He couldn't do. What myles could do. That's what's unfortunate. Is that it's been done. It's not done now. Yeah all Lanchere Larry Larry Walters. He was near sighted, okay, Hilton Barbaras, blind yeah, so it's like, so you can see you know you can see some stuff larry. I just can't see all of it. Just can't see all the stuff. We only want people who can see absolutely everything or absolutely nothing, no inbuilt thing we want in the guys. So instead do you play Microsoft flat simulate with your ice clothes, though I've never tried it. But piles do do do do this when they're learning how to fly. I Afar there's two kinds of fine. This vfr Nir VR is visual, so you're, actually looking at the windows and looking where you're going, I a far as instrument so you're flying completely with your instruments and that's what like, like airline Palette, they're all instrument flights, they're, not looking at the window. I mean they'll, look at the window, but that's not how l they're figuring out, where they're going and stuff it's all instrumenting and when they're learning they that they do what's called Hood flights and they have a hood that they wear. That literally attaches to the instruments. So you can't see out the windows, all you can see as your instruments and that's the most terrifying thing in the world to me like trying to fly and not being able to see at the windows, but it's important that were driving one. So I made it downtown. I got pulled over and he was like what are you doing? I was I'm a HOO driving, I'm od training, yeah yeah, so ended up in the hood. I was pretty crazy. You know I was like Whoa, Hey that joke what I just followed my yeah. Well, it's kind of like you see, did you watch bird box now, oh, where they just went off of GPS because you can't, for whatever reason it was like. If you open your eyes, the monster is going to get you or whatever yeah, but they so they covered the car windows and everything and then went off the GPS and they're just driving through the streets just based on the GPS. Interesting yeah same concept. I guess wait. So is this like a post apocalyptic like yeah yeah, it was a little bit like yeah, okay, but here's the thing. So it's like Im Night Shamela made a movie in like two thousand and ten, maybe called the happening. Did you see that one that's got our guy? I don't know if I saw it, but I yew Jackman Mark Walberg S, Robert Den Robert down a junior flash blash, Bon Jovi, you know it's got that guy in it yeah, but the idea of that movie was that the plants are emanating a cent yeah. Whenever I remember the people breathe it, their brain chemistry turns their survival, instinct, flips yeah and they commit suicide. This is the same thing for this was that whatever it was, when you see it, it flips your survival instinct and you kill yourself, weird yeah, it kind of seemed. Like movies had happened. It was like a mix between the happening and the quiet place because you couldn't open your eyes, so it was like a yeah. It was. It was a center book with the Borneo and e they're going down the river blind, yeah yeah, and you can't open your eyes or whatever anyway interesting yeah, so about that yeah. It wasn't. I didn't hate it, but I was like you know. I don't I guess in Killin movie reviews all right. Well, one res so Larry he was like. Well, I can't be a pilot, so I guess I'll do the next best thing and I'll become a truck driver, so he starts driving trucks and in the s he was like. Okay, maybe there's a possibility of me actually flying because in the early s he heard about a story from one thousand nine hundred and thirty seven, where a guy named Al Mingoon. He was a photographer for Para Mountain News. He was putting together a feature photography assignment in Maine, where he needed, like some scenic photography, and so but the the it was thirty seven. So it was not easy to get arial photos like you in one thousand, nine hundred thirty seven yeah, so he this is a so got any pilots that can get arial photos. I mean it was more difficult because you not a lot of is the this. The ES pilots are aren't readily available, there's no helicopters. Yet I think helicopters were like two or three years out. That's how long they took to get anywhere helicopters took. For I mean at that point it was like you know they had to stop every couple hundred feet. You know they hadn't really figured out the fit took so long because they had put him on the back of a truck and drive it down a highway. You know and figure out the flight or yeah. We can get your a helicopter e h. o I hit you like. I go worry yeah get to the CHAPE. You know what I'm saying yeah, IT'S RIGHT! It's over there on the truck. Can it fly? Oh yeah, I mean I was going like eighty down the highway today. Have you or a love one been diagnosed with too many advertisements during the till in podcast? Have we got good news for you? Our patrons enjoy, add free experience and they get early access to content behind the scene, stuff, exclusive merchandise and access to a private discord channel. We all are in it our producers and the hosts. So if you'd like to be a patron today and solve that problem, why don't you text till in to six six, eight six six, but he he read this story about l Mingal. What aw did to get his aerial photos as he bought thirty two weather balloons and he got a like parachutes like harness and he tied it to these weather balloons and tender. I sells the MESELF and let himself lift up so he cud get those photos in Maine for his assignment. Oh my God, and got the time en done, got the photos. Everything turned out great yeah, and so later he heard this story and Larry said well, I could gole, he says I could do that didn't sound like they had a sight test for that one. I could see that I don't need a weather balloons to just about anybody that there's no eye test for weather blue. You show up with one eye and they'll, give you a weather balloon, so he says door. The kid that got like you know was disappeared, and would they thought that he was on the weather balloon Dover with that as the re or I following those Blo, they were following this they're like there's a child potentially trapping this balloon whole time in his parents adic, and that kid that kid you're not gonna, believe it you're not going to leave it Ferdinand Waldo der. I hate you, we wateer so anyway, so Larry, he starts doing the math and he says okay. I want to get about eighty feet into the air. If I want to do that, what i'mm going to need to do is i'm going to need to calculate how much helium like the lifting power of helium and how much helium i could fit in balloons and then figure out how many balloons i'm going to buy so originally he was like i just going to go to a party city and buy like seventy packs of balloons. Is i do in the math and he realizes i'm going to need so many balloons, hardy cities, just selling balloons well yeah like for party blunts and as like i'm gonna, go to a party city it just by like two hundred balloons. Well, he starts doing them now, they're suspicious. At that point they go. They don't sell you over like a hundred a yeah. I definitely happening they go. We he's like nothing. I used to love my kids, i'm just having a party, but what a arty he's like that kid kid kid: child, antike kid cuddy and my other one kid ruck. Okay, so he's like doing actual calculations. I he's doing the math. He realizes. Okay, wait! This is going to be a lot of balloons right all right, and so then he says i could get military surplus balloons and i would only have to get like twenty of them. Military, sor, plus yeah, which i don't know what the i don't know. Why? O? No? U g i mean enough for there's a surplus. You know the military is like here's, the blots. We didn't need this yeah. What is the militia? Did you need? Well i mean everybody. Everyone in the military is got a body. Everyone's got a birthday, doesn't matter for the soldier or civilian like we've got to celebrate oh yeah. What are their names? Sitisens soldier soldier for christ, that checks out? Here's? Here's a bob billion balloons, here's a balloonin blues! Yeah! Do you have i'm looking for balloon? A balloon? An balloons yeah shaped like balon, that's gonna, blue abalone and balona raise the debt ceiling, so we're going to have to attach a few balloons to the debt ceiling so that it comes on up. So we can afford a billion balloony balloons yeah. Hopefully it doesn't balloon the economy yeah. They come from buffalo, so they're buffalonian, but it's a buck. It's a balloonin, buffalonian belloni balloons. I'll tell you what and we actually you know we had enough of them and we had a western teamed restaurant right. So we that's where we stored all of them. We filled we. So we had. We actually renamed the restaurant. It was called the bolognian buffalonian belloni balloon saloon, balloon saloon and they actually, on tuesday nights, we have a bassoonist, so you can come on down to the buffle. No, the balona buff buffalonian balone balloon saloon bussons. He goes by buffoon too much it's too much so anyways. He realizes he could get a bunch of militario military balloons whole military. I used one though yeah. You know what easier on us to a belies and so he's actually on the math with that yeah and there is the what's the: how much helium does it take to lift a person say how much it takes to lift a person's spirits whatever amount it is. That makes you go. You know, that's a good amount. Yeah actual, i could kill a person now, it's so sorry they got so intense. The way i said that was a that was that was very launcher are to ask how to murder somebody. So what a tea spoon of helium take someone out. So, according to house stuff works a helium balloon can lift about fourteen grams. So you need about how many drams of lions to lift one pound. Oh my gosh! So but that's an average party city balloon kaso, here's actually on union university. How many i am twelve years old and weigh about a hundred pounds. How many humian balloons would it take to lift me? This is right before the blo get into it. So yeah posted that day, so they said it would take over. It would take two thousand seven hundred fifty four balloons to left a hundred pounds. So that's why he shifted to the military surplus point, because it's about fifteen or twenty, but he had a hard time finding enough of those. Apparently they weren't in surplus. So instead he shifted and said. Well, i just get weather balloons like the original guy. Who did this and so yeah? He was able to get forty three, but how much? How much our weather balloon lift? Do you know we? Let's see, i hate when you fake type, that's how i type stop it you're going to break my screen. I would rather type like that than this. I could yeah, so a weather balloon can carry a pay load of up to two thousand grams. So let's just figure out graham's to pounds, one grand two and how you know we don't do like hard to does go it's four and a half pounds. So, oh, whether billion can live four and a half pounds, so you need about a hundred of them. To lift i mean about fifty of them lit to two hundred pound person. I guess yeah, so he he got forty three okay, i was gonna, say yeah forty three balloons and he tied him to his lawn chair, fill them with helium put on the parachute captin. I you hold it down whenever you're yeah, so he tied it to his jeep. He tell it. It is g, a sense, and so now what? If hear me out, yeah gets it wrong and the jeep just starts going. He was, oh god, oh god, estro pull the gout. This just did we're we're at a seventy second and pedro. There is a man attached to forty three army surplus weather balloons, weather balloons and a jeep floating across the valley. I'll tell you what's on me. I really hope that someone can wrangle that wrangler and bunch of cowboys running down. Why, with the late trying to last soon, they all catch it and it starts lifting a last a week then, and then the horses go up with them, because i don't know, i don't know how that works, they're strapped in tin, so that they're just because then you got the weight of horses pulling your legs right, just like you're like so the cowboys are screaming rites, pain, and so they are now this. These weather blooms are just blowing al, and i mean it looks l like parlamentare and there just picking stuff up along the way right. The only thing you know what they had to do to save everybody was that someone had to go with a giant axe and then to cut into the town's molasse supply, so the molasses spilled out and they came in strong. Yes, that's the only way to catch. Like a giant, i drap what a crazy in you the turn the city of phoenix into a flis. The phoenix fly trap. That was super quick guys, i'm really proud of that one so anyways on a july. Second, one thousand nine hundred and eighty two he set up those blons fill him with hair with helford three ramballo for heroin. I'll tell you what you want to get high, i just don't get it. We have forty three balloons full of heroin and they're all just on the ground hold on. If these helium tanks are full of heroin, what got sent to the kid's birthday park- and i m k- i got kids rigous- just shoot leave at each other at these. Why is that the thing? Are they syringes now a hell? It is right, we're the ring harlin yeah, but i was thinking they got. Put in the helium tank, no because the heroine was in the helium tank, so the helouan, the hair with sericans. Do you buy heroine by the tank? We don't know yeah. Clearly, this is how you know that me and to him are never involved in anything, sketchy is how often we joke about sketchy stuff, and we don't know they. We don't know a single lingo. You know we got how many grams are in a powder. We don't know you know what is i pa stand for not a clue: yeah anyways i just quited beer, drinking and heroin us, but whatever they are, the same. The same so watch her larry. He fills this balloons with helium puts his parachute on and then straps himself into a literal lawn chair and he grabs his pellet gun, a c b radio, a couple sandwiches, some beer and a camera, and he asks his friend hey. Okay, when i tell you cut the cord that i have tied to my get and let me go for my flight and so, according to his calculations, his calculation said: okay, i'll, probably five on the. What is the pelagon for, like i'm assuming it is it for descent yest's when he wants to go ay he's goin to pu he's not gonna go around town shooting his in the nes from the bullet he's like all right. You go into a hospital with a pellet in your eye in someones, like what happened. Well, i was looking up at this. Guy fled over with forty three heroin bullions and suddenly there was, you know, just got a pellet in my eye. Yeah he's not like he's fining over oh's, like he's like barbara. This is for what you did he's not like hanging out the side of a helicopter non, a no i like, but it's a loch t he's going to shoot himself down: okay, okay, so he's gonna shoot the balloons and that's how he's going wen to come down. Okay, according to his math he's like i should fly about eighty feet in the air, be able to fly, shoot myself down and we're good. So his friend cuts the cord and his long chair starts rising rapidly to sixteen thousand feet. Oh my yeah! He really messed up like he's. Like something's wrong, this isn't going right where he was. Is he strapped into the chair? Yeah he's strapped in the chair? He does okay, and i bet he got an old seat belt that he just like tied to the it's a lot of chairs. It's got those little loops so lost there. I remind me a he's, got the pelagon and what else on a cb radio? Oh a couple of sandwiches, some beer and a camera, a couple, sandwiches yeah and he's way a pershod where's he trying to go. I mean i don't know he's obviously trying to have a picnic up. Eust want to go up. Yeah he's just wants to fly it, so he figured to go about eighty feet in the air. He thought he was just going to fly around like his neighborhood, his e e v guy. I owari there shooting the ether what if they call him on chair larry before this is so we know he's always out there in his long that old lot, chair, ligero up there, so drifting around los angeles at this yeah and slowly at sixteen sand feet. He drifts over a long beach and then is he going toward the ocean while he drifts over the primary approach corridor of the long beach airport, oh no, and so a couple of airplanes spot him and well how we use their their site instruments. They use their eyes. They have good eyesight. He doesn't oh okay, okay, he didn't see a a he's like. What's that noise yeah, like yeah, there's a guy out of chair, he didn't see us at all. I didn't even try to move didn't seem to acknowledge our existence. He had a gun e t even shoot at us. I don't think he knew we were there at a gun. Yeah, that's a hole to yeah so, but imagine also that he did shoot at him right because then you're in more of those little plans easier. What this guy got a egshels doesn't even damage the flame. He gets on the cvras and he's able to contact air trafton, rol and he's like hey. So i'm i don't know what to do and they hey guys oops yeah t a this point. What's up here is a talking dog and a boy scout with me, and i don't really know how to get down so he's talking to aircraft control. He changes channels she alex as drop all of his papers. I mean like they just so and he just washed a halo. Oh no, he just let it happen. He just let happen. That's a professional right there not faced so then he gets in contact with the citizens like radio station called react, and this is this is one of my favorite parts of the whole situation because he gets on the radio station on it react and react. The host gets him on the on the radio he's on his seamy radio on sixteen thousand feet. Yeah and the host is like what information do you wish to tell me at this time as to your location and your day this time at this time on and this he says the difficulty is. This was an unauthorized balloon lodge and i know i'm in federal air space and i'm sure grand crew has alerted the proper authority, but just call them and let him know i'm okay, so he just floats around over the airport for forty five minutes and eventually start he like. Let him know i'm okay, yeahlin up here i'll, probably float somewhere else in a minute o guys just want to let you know you've probably seen, but i'm fine thiry. That's literally not the concern they're on er, like is that guy, okay, the concern was like. Can we get him out of our er, but yeah? Can you go somewhere else? Yeah so is like we don't really have a way of controlling this thing. I do have one of those you don't want to go to a theme park and you get that little fan. You know i've got one of those just and i can try to like try to go through. That's how he's steering himself as other e too far so he's up there and he's really nervous to start shooting his balloons because he's really high and so he's afraid that what will happen yeah, because heroine he's super he's like he's like, if i shoot the balloon somebody can be covered in herein had to tear. When i got that's the every thing i was worried about to is that i am on federal property at me. Lots a hero, idiot amount of herward is illegal, i think, but i've got definitely over whatever the legal limited. We have the legal limit of heroin in bloway past the legal limit of zero heroin, so he he ends up si. If i shoot the balloons, a couple things could happen, one good guy. It could be like a rapid drop in altitude and he a he's afraid that that drop would like pressure and like it would be bad. He would pass out and then he's like he's a the other scenario. The other possible scenario is, i shoot the balloon, and then it puts me off kilter and then i'm hanging in this chair, like sideways yeah, she's, afraid to shoot it basically air tram on trolls, like you guys, start shooting baloon the man, so he does it. He says: shooting balloons everything's, okay, he er she send. He does have a parachute, but i mean that does yeah, but they don't want him to just leave this balloon chair floating through the sky, he's still up there wensday to come, actually juster shoot it down and then lots just up there on the six pack of beer and two sandwiches, just you know up there, for whoever can get it literally is the date of this again. This is july s, one thousand nine hundred and eighty two okay, okay yeah you go to that airport and literally just floating over a runway b is just been to close down the whole airport. Now because it's not open, it's actually a protected national park, so he was very careful trying not to unbound the load. He shot a couple of them and then he accidentally drops his pelagon into the airport and they were like hey lara. We just saw something fall. Can you tell me that was literally anything other than your gun? Well, was it a beer? No was it a sandwich? Larry? No. Was it the pellet gun? You know i am fine. I just want to really know i'm okay, larious, not the concern there. We don't care if you're, no care or not lar, this suck concern over they're all their music. Do you think they abandoned the link that the official o? I don't know- i mean it, sounds like it like from their they're. Just like oh man, you done messed up where you're yeah larry. What are you doing? Hey? Have you er heard of till in podcast march? That's right. We've got a full march store of tilling branded, teas mugs stickers, hoodies a lot more and we put out new designs with every episode, but those are only available for a limited time. So you got to get those while there hot text tilono six, six, eight six, six to get access to our exclusive merchandise, so he now has no way to shoot himself down, but he had shot enough balloons where he's descending, so he descends very slowly. Okay back to the ground, eventually the cables for his balloon get caught and tangled up in a power line: oh no and break the power line, causing a blackout and he's just dangling in his lochar for these paralyses drinking his beer. Somebody get me down, i mean like if you, if it takes you a few hours, i'm fine yeah, i'm okay, i got a tersay, which is i've, got one more peers, and so they arrested them on an intoxicated fly and does get in flyinge flynt, two tousand and twenty vision yeah. So you pay your driving in impaired vision, yeah. So when they finally cut him down long beach, police department was waiting for him and they immediately arrested him. But it took him a while. It took a while to figure out what to charge him with, and they said well they're like if he had a pothesis ence, then we suspend that, but he doesn't so we don't know what to do yeah so eventually they they did get him and the charges that they gave him more a charge of operating a civil aircraft for which there is not currently, in effect, an airworthiness certificate. That was the charge. So basically you just flew something that we haven't said is okay, and so it's figure. I guess he got a fifteen hundred dollar fine, and that was it. That was that that was that did was there any fundraisers that helped him pay it? I would imagine you became a big new story right yeah, so yeah almost just after lying, he told our landing in till the press. I said it's something i just i had to do. He said i had this dream for twenty years and if i hadn't done it, i think i would have ended up in the funny farm. Oh what that, but did he enjoy it though it's the psych word. Did he enjoy it? Yes, yeah he loved it, he loved every minute of it. He apparently named his lawn chair in the flight, the inspiration one, which i saw where's the launch church today, we'll get to that. I saw in a a another. Video was talking about it and they said the he named it. The ispirito one, which was a missed opportunity called chair force, one o that one but yeah. So he ends at the darwin awards. He got a darwin award n. Ninety three with the title of at risk survivor. I don't know what that's supposed to me, but i the do jas. I don't know what that is either daron awards seem, like you know, dumb people dying, oh darcet ly what it is absolutely yeah, so he ten days afterwards, he appeared on david letterman and then flew in you bring your chair up for our yeah, pretty good share, and so he was kind of reaching this like level of like kind of fame right for it. He paid his fine and everything was whatever and he got in. He was featured in a timex ad, and so he had like a rent. A ran yeah and it was like it was like the ae. Time watch the skies. I don't know i teaboys, so he was the. He was the celebrity endorsement on this time ex ad, and so he quit his job as a truck driver and then became a motivational speaker telling people to pursue their dreams nice. The problem was, he wasn't a good speaker got guys. So i there's no enim. Okay, i'm fine over right and that's how i hits his speech, and so he goes. Others like he's like nine or nine er, and they were like what he is making up. What he thinks is er right, he's like airplanes, but he's like yeah he's a the weather is eighty five here today with the clear skies and visibility. You know what the in to tell you just too much information on planes: yeah thetis, like yeah, the visibile about twelve miles and now bar magic pressures about that and you're just like. Why are you telling me this yeah? I don't you're just bored any of this yeah yeah so but yeah, so he didn't have a career as a motivation. Speaker didn't last long, he ended up going back to truck driving. Imagine, though you do this big thing, you start booking speaking gigs and you're so dog time x at you do a time accent. You have to go back to truck driving yeah. That's sad that as a not the truck driving is sad, but it's just that, like you to go back to whatever your job was before, whatever your job was, it said that he thought. Oh, i just opened up this new career path, this exciting new career path, just to go back see this is a guy's. The limit belivin was sixteen thousand feet. How i found it so the lawn chair he is in the fight. There was a neighborhood boy named jerry who really admired what he did hung around after for a long time after this weird relationship, but o walter gave him the lawn chair as a gift, because he was a big fan. A few years later, the smithsonian reached out to him and asked if they could have the wan chair to put on the exhibit showed up, and he said no well, i don't have it. I gave it to that neighborhood boy, jerry. Oh, they lay said the larian asked: okay, okay, okay, they rased had to larry. I thought they asked us ary yeah. So, twenty years later, jerry is an adult cherry, jerry, jerry cherry cherry, joh. Okay, so all right shut up dude. He ended up with to the san diego aran space museum. Let them take it to put it in their exhibit, and this in so didn't get it yeah. This miss onny, didn't get it in a like sikeson space museum is never said, arrivals. You know the two top museums in the world, the smithsonian and the san diego aran space. I mean we all saw that movie at about the night and night, go where all the planes and lawn chairs come to life. The lancea i've seen that movie. So he ends up later in his life. He did some volunteer work for the forest service broke up with his girlfriend. Lary yeah larry broke up with his girlfriend of fifteen years, had a girlfriend at fifteen years. Yeah it's the sort of situation where it's like yeah. We don't do labels hey. What's what sounds like we'll get married after? I think why yeah and then work were sporadically as a security guard and died in one thousand, nine hundred and ninety three at the age of forty four really young. Oh so, but here's the thing what he did it spawned a legitimate extreme sport called cluster ballooning, where i could do that pope anything with the word clustering. It should be banned forever. That gives you not. The sport is just tie a bunch of balloons to something and write it somewhere. That's the whole sport, it's what he did just over and over again, so the first person to do it was a guy named kevin, wash n n nineteen ight four, just two years after him, he flew to nine thousand feet with fifty seven balloons and then jumped out of it with a parachute. He got a four thousand dollar fine, because fa regulation stuff you know, have they now approved balloon flights. I think you can go get a license for like a recreational pilot license to do balloons, flights, because the genes book of world records. What do you an do like, like you, get like a ses now? What you? What are you going to do? Elwes want to buy some balloons so, but imagine a guy tries to do all this right and he's goes home and just starts and you're walking in your apartment, flood with balloons that he's blown up like that and a in your list bloom. What are you doing he's like i'm going to fly with these you like? Do you know how okay and he just goes outside he's car he drives. His car looks like one of those like just married people, where is a bunch of balloons, trailing behind the car and he's a lot of extra because he knew they'd pop on the dry, so some of them are popping. He opens the back of his trail blazer right. They all start pouring out he's like he's like i gotta go faster. I got a hit eighty eight miles an hour fer to take it off its carpenter oxide, a so passed out several times, blown up all the balloons in two thousand, a d one in new mexico, a team, my coward and steve davis. They flew to eighteen thousand three hundred feet broke the genness book of our wiles record for it and a bunch of other people started doing these flights all over the place. It became really big er. The two sands yeah i feel like weird stuff, became bigger than two sands. You know we were in like slime and all that yeah yeah yeah, that's true! So here's a couple really notable ones: a roman catholic priest and human rights defender by the name of adali, antonio de carley. He took off from brazil and flew across the border into argentina, and this was a big civil rights demonstration. Was him doing this and he was a lawn chair, balloon cluster or cluster ballooning flight, another big a lost er ballooned. He won a darwin award for that as well. Another big one was in may twenty eight two thousand and ten, a guy by the name of a jonathan trap, cross the english channel wow with these balloons, and he actually ironically, this guy. He replicated the house from up for a national gography tv show. He apparently can also build how many balloons would it take to lift the house, i'm sure someone's on the math right, i'm yeah, probably i'll. Look that up a quick yeah you're, so you're just making it up most houses but way between eight thousand and a hundred sixty thousand pounds. So it would take about one point: five million cubic feet of helium or about as much as would be contained in about a hundred and five thousand balloons that were three feet in diameter, so giant balloons. Those are those big balloons that are like from the sivori girl pictures. Oh yeah, those are big bilin. I worry about the sorority houses. You know because they've got those shaped balloons that are just like you know, one two, two zero two one or whatever and like all of a sudden, this or house is floating, was gonna away. You know so jonathan trapp did that trip across the english canal. Big win right. I think i was a f win right, o huge wee winnow w what a win in two thousand and ten. So then, in september thusan he tried to cross the atlantic. You took off from maine but ended up having to land in canada because he was unable to control his balion. So you obviously went off course yeah, so that didn't work out well, he got the canada and was like this. Is india you're all indians, right and they're like bro? It's two thousand and thirteen. I know where i landed. I got a report back. They were like check your iphone like yeah. What's your chip called it's the may flyer, i found a new land in two thousand and thirteen joe barbara. He broke another. He broke the geest book of world records for height at twenty one thousand feet. Oh my gosh, it was a sponsor y rebel. I don't know. Actually it seems like the red bull are. I at yeah would have said hey. Let's do that and then here's my favorite one of all in september. Second, two thousand and twenty the record was once again broken last year, yep at a height of twenty four thousand nine hundred feet suspended. Why one hand, so he literally just held on by one hand- and it was broken by david- blame no way. No way show me a picture no way no way david blaine come on. I e g. He was sponsored by red bull. Of course, it was no way dad blame de david blaine, although you see if i could get a close shot, so you could tell to sometimes i think it's wild that we live at the same time as david blane e. What a wonder to be alive! I mean he's harnessed into it, though well yeah. Obviously they weren't going to be like yeah. We can put this on tv, you just hold on to it. What does arm pops out of socket how old's david blaine, i don't know, let's find out, because he n, i mean he's been doing that stuff for a minute. Would it even blame? We should do an episode. They were blaying, please yeah, okay, how old is this forty, eight forty eight, so i forty seven you're just like you know what i'm gonna. How do you tell your wife hey? I got this idea. I hate the e on the late wax suit is an and you know it's a tear away su so when he lanse is pulled off that, like i've been phoenix jones, this whole time you like what what does happen yeah. So do you remember what it was it like, two thousand and eight two doesna twos and six thousand and seven whatever the era where it was like i mean chris angel and david blaine were rock stars. Huh h i were they were. They were a big chiel and honestly now he's like i got to go out above the grand canyon in it with balloons, and i didn't even hear about it. That's how yeah yeah that's a that's faire, so yeah so in later lon, chair, larry. Obviously in was the inspiration for up yeah because he had the kid to. Even if she s the am to kistie. Also also also inspired an australian movie, which we need to watch. Oh no, based entirely on this cover. It's an australian comedy called danny deck chair, look at any deck chair. Any deck chair, look at the cover. It's like those dude sitting in a launch hair with the balloons and the balloons- and i mean like let's describe the dude, though, because the dude looks like an off brand early career owen wilson. He don know he does and then he deck chair and then whose face is in the balloon. The balloons are like when mufasa's looking over linking and then there's like a face in it, but the balloons are the face of somebody's face. Some girl's face. Oh my gosh, so yeah as the inspiration for that movie as well. Legendary film e ave inspiration. What led you to this topic? Let me take a little peak here. Actually, that's a good point. I should there is a guy in our patron. He goes by the name of michael i am which i assume means in diana. You don't know, i assume is indiana, because it's capital case would be michael in alike. Michael and what an he leaves it to, he goes lease it for mystery. I don't know in your mind now in this episode of telling, but today he actually brought our discord to level one he boosted on his gate. So i be you know yeah, and so that's here's. The reason why i bring that up because he boosted it to level one. I need somebody in the comments to let us know what that means, but we know that we don't do drugs and we are completely out of touch with all the kids are doing. We had no idea what it is so meeds, that's hilarious, yeah so and then obviously there's the bloom boy hoax, which i literally forgot about yeah. Until just now that this happened in colorado, oh yeah, it was there as the balloon boy. I know it being in the balloon he blame and so what what ended up happening was they found the kid the kid recent top his head on sipped his face right, david boy, steps out it does his weird, like you know, think whether it has had its david play right and so anyway, cool well. That is that, if you haven't listened to the live episode which we recorded last, like yeah, it's camot it come it's we release it now, it's available, you can. You know yeah, just watch the episode or listen o the episode right before this. Just just go back in the archive as the conte to do it. I don't know it's there. It's out. It was really really good. Okay, so is there anything else on on chair lary? No he's my hero, oh man, you know something about being at that height, though he didn't break the sound barrier right. He he and what was that guy's name hilton? Oh man, my s, elimi milton bow or something right, yeah. What something broke, the sound barrier, the sandbar they both you know. Actually i've in this is against all ods. I saw it on the week when you turn it around. I saw the miles hill look at pedia page. It said that you, though he couldn't see he was guided to sydney by the sound of fiddles. Things are tone that night is a production of space. Tim media produced by christian taylor, audio by as garnett video by conteret, are graphics and ar logo by kaleb, but goldberg and our social media is one by kelaba. Our host, our jern myres and tim stone falls on your favorite social media platform at tillin. Podcast is till and podcast remember to tell all your friends about us and we'll see you next tuesday for another episode of things i ve n last night t t


Lawn Chair Larry, also known as Larry Walters, had always dreamed of flying. As a kid, he planned on becoming a pilot in the airforce. Unfortunately, he was turned by air force recruiters away due to his poor eyesight. In the wake of the death of his dream, Larry became a truck driver. Despite his inability to build a career … Read More

Timothy Dexter – The Luckiest Business Man Who Dropped Out at 8

11-09-21

Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey Man: what's up, have you ever heard of Timothy Dexter, Timothy Dexter, Timothy Dexter S got a laboratory? No, he does not Timothy Dexter Timothy Dexter T if I say it over and over you act like he's going to show up to x, Timothy Dexter o the name. Don't say you five times: Who's, symathy Dexter. So Timothy Dexter, he is quite possibly the the world's first like rags to riches story. Okay, but let me ask you right: Now we go a live show. Is there going to be aliens? I just want to get out, like God and your friend start saying, you should shoot that guy, you should did I use so much blubber s e o of my biography. His loge was keeping frappy. I Ra someone's putter vilets a all right. First rags richest story, there's no aliens. I want to do that to you. I want to do that to you, there's no things. I could work it in, though, we'll see I'll find a point. Okay to the Dexter. He is the he might be. The luckiest person to ever live the things that happened in his life. I can't even begin to compete hand luckier than the guy who survived to atomic bombs. I don't know now that you bring that up. He is guy until what is that on thousand nine hundred and forty five forty four years to deck for a live, what your so he was born in seventeen forty seven, oh early yeah, so he's early early he's an earlyer guy now for sure, but he's alive he was really reladen it, okay, so, okay, so Timothy Dexter we're going way back. I was born in Seventeen. Forty seven in this town called Malden Massachusetts. Okay, his parents were were lower class, lower class citizens as if you will rags he dropped out of school at the age of eight to work on the family farm, so not sue. I thought you're going to be like because he was like I'm too good for this. I, like an eight year olds. Like I got it, I got it. I could do better than yeah this education thing, not digging a to me doing man in five times three fourteen got it got it a dud. I don't know anybody got farm. I can work at youthe over confidence of eight year old dude, so he warn't there for a little while, but at the age of sixteen he said man a little while this kid worked, eight years somewhere, eight years as a farm hand, okay or man in Massachusetts and at the age of sixteen he said you know what this is really put in a lot of weight on my body like this is making the age quickly sixte sixteen, he said my boy sit, can't take it anymore yeah. He felt he felt himself aging. So he did what anyone would do in that moment and heard no, all right, I'm done with school and also it's time that time. Sixteen, like the forty right like there yeah it is s s Yeh tied like a twenty eight yeah. He was he was at the end. I know he walked to Newberry Port Massachusetts, which is not a quick walk. If he maps it on maps, it'll tell you what ye then you die, it's a long walk, and so I team he walks to me be for it and he becomes a Tanners, a Atanas apprentice. so He's learning how to Tan hides right. Everything to this point not super important right, but what happens while he's here is incredible because wiles Tanen hides yeah. He so he's tanning hides he's saving up his money. He saves up a couple thousand dollars with a lot of money for that time. Yeah and the Revolutionary War is coming to a close and throughout the revolutionary war, the government they have, what they call the continental currency, and so this currency was what they were paying their soldiers with. They just made it up. It wasn't real money. They were just like we're we're, say: Coins Yeah, we're I er possibly dying well, like here's the deal we're in revolt right now against. Oh Yeah. We have no money right. So here's a bunch of fake money and maybe if we win it'll, be worth something they won and the guy came or something well: Okay to Er, as I haver those co just kidding Hyeah, you know a yeah reber those coins. We gave you there's this new story for de man. For this stuffed animal. You can use that at Chucky. Jesus s Charles Jesus, the former, they were more formal. It was his grandfather, who's, checking to rucket the ten hundred yeah you gotta gotta get there well when the government was established a bunch of the the whigs. You know the way my wig they just put Google eyes on in Thee. Here's your whey going with that! Now, let's e founding father, O okay, we with googly eyes we just when we drew them. The artist drew them and they were like. This is creepy what Eve moblots they could be exchanged for coins, Oh yeah, so the goterie government said: okay, we can exchange the Cuttin on a currency, and then the people in the government were like what, if we didn't do that like what, if like, we just didn't, have to pay them like a war one, and was it like a thing that was like? Well? Okay, so if you put money in the hands of the people, who literally just want a war, want a revolt, I was going to say: Wouldn't it, how do you keep them from her? It's like it's. Like a you know the girl, cheats on you. If a girl, if you're you're dating a girl, who's cheating on her boyfriend, she's going to cheat on you yeah, if you pay the people who revolted there, a revolt on you eventually yeah. So that's a good point. You just got o know that you're, like a weird, that's good logic. So so there was this big debate in Congress at the time. It's like. Do we pay these people or do we not and so till going on by the way they're still debating that so so the government was like back and forth on this right, yeah and meanwhile, these continentals everyone's, just like this money's useless like they're, never going to pay us. This is never we're, never going to be able to Olin our middles, the contoor con up, continentals yeah, and so this phrase arose. Whenever you had something that was super useless, you would say that's as valuable as a continental because it was useless. It had no value. You know. I heard your wife say that so much about you and I just never understood the reference I get that now breen. Thank you! That's good, so the continental was worthless. Abigail enjoy that one! It's not gonna happen more is, I hope, to a last more just can't stop now just and it was naif a joke, so the CONDITA was worthless. Yeah, nobody saw any value in it. Yeah said Timothy Dexter. He had a couple things a bit coin thing where he was like were like all of the sudden just surges. He started continental market bets yeah. All men, twitter, listen, Shark, Clinton, continentals, okay, because in a few years this is going to blow up. I promise come in hands baby diamond hands. Also telling you one day that car is not going to have a horse in front of it. I promise I promise. You know this guy's pretty crazy, so he he takes his full thousand dollars. His couple thousand five s to the moon and he goes, and he just goes to all these ex soldiers. A ton of continentals he's like give him to me, and he just starts buying him off of them. But here's the thing the value of them was so low at this point, so he was literally US dollars established at this point. No, no! No! What is he buying them with he's buying them with like British money like because they were in a nation COCO? I don't know what do you call Britain Great Britin, the UK Norwegian reticere British dollars friend? I don't know where you knew Brit, Bratina, Patita. Okay, so end all these roties dollars ye had all the all this money and so he's collecting continentals trading. What re so valuable yeah for the continentals, the CONTENTA, didn't make any sense they got them like they were like. The denomination was like two dollars: Seven dollars: Thirty eight dollars, it didn't make any sense, but they were so not valuable that anybody would take really really low like low ball offers. For him, like literally fractions of a penny, was what he was getting these for. He was getting two three and a buck. SEVEN DOLLAR NOTES: Yeah! There's a button. Give me all you give me all you got now, so he was getting so much of these continental doughters bags of cone walk around with all these continentals for fractions of a penny yeah. Well, then, the government is going back and forth right and then finally they come to a conclusion. They say: Okay, here's! What we'll dom well allow them to trade these for bonds, but they're, ten percent of their value, which is way more than what he bought them for, and so he was able to go trade a I with these bonds at significantly high a higher value than what he bought them for so overnight. I just got rid of all my buttons for the just bags of Fuckin. Why? Okay, I go back to Puoti was hoping you would fill in the gaps there, so he so he overnight become incredibly rich, and I tried so hard to find someone who figured out the value that he got: okay, okay, it was just insane because he went and he bought two ships like not boats, ships and he in an estate. He bought all this stuff incredibly like over hips super wealthy two ships who ship I'm with you in a house two ships in a house and a total buttons school bottoms. I got a ship full of buttons and, if that weren't a story enough after this mount happened. After all this happens, he meets this woman named Elizabeth Frothingham and she's. A super. Seventeen hundred Sir Ham, is that name around Google that is there a NA. Is there anybody named, Not Elizabeth froths? The frothing is even here lasting trouting ham shut up Joe Joe RAPINAT LOUIS RE yeah. There is wow there's a lot on it. All like this is like super actually is a master hairstyles dum linked in with the last name, propping an frothing Hashes. Fifty four connections connect. How old is that hair stylist? I don't know it doesn't say the age they start they. You know that in the early two thou hundred their shop was like you know, I don't do frosted tips, I do frocked or there was. It was a car person. When I was growing up. There was a car radio car radio. There was a radio ad who the guy sold cars, they all have radios, but at the end his name, I don't remember his name, it was something it was frost right, it rock a dealership and at the end he would say, keep it frosty. Oh No, and I just thought, that's the that's the peak of just sleazy car salesman. That really is just so anyway. If I had a his crazy that you said that, because Elizabeth she was recently a widow and her husband was very wealthy as a card dealer sure and his loge was keeping froppery come on down because your carriages, they don't Rick it around. You know it was only. It was a weird voice, one saying the end: A E come on o we got a you know the talking real fast and the D just go, keep it for osteen. That's weird. We've got palaces that on at the Elizabeth. She really was a wealthy widow. Her husband was very wealthy and she inherited all of his money when he died yeah when he died, and so now she's very rich, also yeah and he starts courting this woman and they get married so her riches and his new riches. They are some of the most wealthy people in the state of Massachusetts, Oh and so now, with his new found status, Timothy Dexter says. Well what do I do? I should start a shipping empire he's like. I got two ships. I got a lot of money yeah. Let's do a shipping empire, so he hires a whole crew and he says what can I start to ship, and so he makes a lot of friends in his gated community in Massachusetts and here's the thing it's been gatherin starbucks, his good debora are not a fan of Timothy Dexter. Is Contemporary Okay Yeah his peers? If you will they're, not fans of him, because because here's the thing they don't think he's legitimate because he's not like he just got lucky and made a ton of mole has legitimate money now. Well, he does but oh they're treating him like a like a lottery person who won a yeah like he just won something and now he's here like and all of them there old money. There was no new money at the time. Like new money didn't exist everyone's on mine, and so I do they treat him like the neighbor who moves into like a really big neighborhood, and then it collects boats in his back yard. Yeah Yeah I worded out both you know it just like, like the back yard, just overgrown and all stuff er looks over and they're like yeah. They treat him like a dude who droped down to school at eight he's, not one of our Contini, really don't like that contemporary over there. All my other Kay temporaries I enjoy. Did he take her long? It Frothingham? No, he did not but anyways, so they did not like him and just because they don't just because they're, but the out they're legitimate they're, like my Granddad, gave me this money yeah, I'm glad those people aren't around anymore fat on by tickets. To our show, I repear a very let's be odes all we're all middle class. All right. We have a very specific audience Caesar there, homeowners here, homeowners, homeowners, wow, wow, quite a few wow. I hate that our listeners are further ahead than I am. I bet you know. I don't like that. So yes, so he is at some party trying to just bounce business ideas off of everyone around them right and someone tells them they said. Well, hey the West indies down Caribbean. I hear they don't have any any bed pans like bed heating pans, so they what they had at the time. I don't know what technical term I o have the wood they. So they had these bed pans, but they were for heat, drag, get they weren't. Just like the pans tied. What are you trying to describe a that? warmers they're called Tad warmers. They came to me and they were they look like a little like, like you know, those popcorn that you pop on the stove. You know I'm talking about yeah and then it's like pops up and you're, like Oh cool pop wor. No, I a said yeah and you kept going. I appreciate it, they had the same thing, but you open end up. You filled it with hot coals and you stuck it at the foot of your bed yeah to warm your bed up because they didn't have like the E in a bed Pan Yan, it's not the same thing at all. Well, that pays worth the same fig the heating elements different. We can't stay on now. We got regit off that pot because it was so and they have heaters, and so they would just stick this hot pan in their feet and wet their bed up. It sounds like a good way to come upper class. All right. The lower cans were setting their mat to fire in a lot of casualties. You know a gate, the matches, the man we at there just yeah. We got. We got ten minutes before we're gone, so honey. How I can't Ford the mattress matches. I hate that so that they were shipping it to a place that was really hot, all the time yeah, and so they didn't need bed pans. BED WARMER AD warmers. They didn't need better warmers, basehead, ers yeah, the space eaters, but Timothy heard this idea and he's like that's a great idea. They have none, they have none of those there there's no market, it's an untape market, and so he buys a hundred thousand of these bed. warmers loads it up in a ship and sends his crew out to the West indies and he's expected to trying to sell was a show, a lot of money. Snow shovels in Los Angeles. Where am that's exactly what he did so he gets there and his captain isn't sure what his cargo is yeah right, so they land they make lamb fall. They crash into the port. The captain wasn't sure about a lot obness, you know didn't know what was on the boat didn't know how to drive the boat. You know just rammed into the shore they get there. The captain opens with the cargo and he's like. Are you kidding me he's like these? People don't need this, but he realizes while he's there he's like you know what molasses is the biggest export of this place, I'm going to tell them. These are molasses. Spoons- and so so he goes to a bunch of molasses experts and he's like have you guys heard on the lasses spoons, the last a sex or to teach molasses classes, Yep Yep, molasses, Tech A, and so they sell out the everyone laste spoon. I'm really glad we clarify that they were bed warmers and not bet pan to those gay, just bed pans of molasses, so they just make up a new use for H, m yeah. They just pretended something else and everything, but a big they're like they're, very large, they're, very large and they're like this, is better than the spoons. We were using tea spoons to spoon out all this molasses. Now we got this whole molasses spoon a yeah, so they sold out, and so the ship comes back with so much more money, and so now his contemporaries like hold on it seems as though he has used the boats in his back yard and returned fruitful and so so yeah there their matter staring out their window e o dust grunt to old man. Just so so they were shocked to see his success yeah. So they had to devise a new plan, so they came to him and they said. Okay, you know what else the Western des need there is like. What else can we lie about were like Oh yeah? This looks like you know. They said you know what else the best in these needs. They said Mittens, they need lots of mittens and he was like you know what on tap market mittens down there and all their hands naked and was a making hance a great idea? Is it great yeah? Thank you, Jefferson, I'll load up the cargo go lot of the cargo. To was Jefferson. Is that what you said? Thank you. Jefferson Jefferson is still mad about the I I'm trying to get into a mitten market. He bought all the Mittens and Massachusetts all the Massachusetts. Mittens are gone, so they're mass producing Massachusetts, Mittens Yep for mass transit got Kaso, so they get them they get into the West indies and, as luck would happen, you all like swampy hands what you going to convince him on that, as look would have it. There is a group of traders there from India that were about to head up to Russia and they had no mints, and so they bought all of the Mittens on the boat. It's gonna be cool. Where we're going do we use some of that? I would be man at this guy. You know, like your, I let's say you're, one of the founding fathers you lie like. First of all, we were volted, we were did the trying to build a country, and Tim over here is selling the mittens. That's where the the West indies, so then at Tosti comes back with another boatload of money. Another bow load of money insane. How is this guy's getting? He starts going by Lord. Nobody gave him the title he just gave it. He was now Lord Dexter, yeah and now people hate him even more, Oh yeah for sure, due because men, if you meet somebody and they're like what was your first name again, oh you can call me lowered. I'm sorry, did you say Lord Lord, or a Lord? No Lord, Lord Lord de Lord Dat, Hey and you ever heard of till in podcast March. That's right: We've got a full march store of tilling branded, teas mugs stickers, hoodies a lot more and we put out new designs with every episode, but those are only available for a limited time. So you got to get those while they're hot text Tilono six, six, eight six six to get access to our exclusive merchandise. So so no one like this guy and there was a kind of phrase of the time- a college where you say: You're shipping cold to Newcastle, because Newcastle was the top manufacturer of coal. I he was like. I Bet I can sell it. Well, here's what happened! So when you do something really dumb some one man say it's like you're shipping cold to Newcastle and someone said that to him and they said he's having all this luck and they're like you're, just shipping cold to Newcastle and he says, should I do. That is no honesty. I'm taking business advice from anybody yeah, so he ships a bunch of cold Newcastle and you're, NOT gonna! Believe this. The ship ports a Newcastle and there is a minor strike, so the whole city is out of call and they're like we can use that. We can use that as as it were, we have no cold and so low and behold this guy tells him to ship cold, the Newcastle he does it and to his dismay, the ship comes back to Massachusetts plenty money. At this point you got to think he's a magician as you got to think he might be an alien or a wizard and it doesn't stop there. The things just kept getting crazier and crazier and crazier he for some reason he had this obsession with rounding up stray cats. At what point does you know, because you use the word of session it? Does it cross from like a hobby? Were he got a ship load of cats? Well Yeah! If it's? When do you hit the point where you hire a team to round up stray kittens for you, and so he he really does. He gets a shipload of kittens and he ships them overseas and when they get to where they were going. There was a infestation of rats and sort of ones like give me your cats. Give me your cats, give your cats for these rats, so we need more cats, I'm trying to wrap my head around this wrap it I am like I bet. Noyo know this stuff happens to this is what happens at Reagan. Reagan is like a lucky person, yeah right, like she changed her own breaks and then those brigs broke yeah because she changed them, but then, at the same time, like she's on a phone with me and a tow truck driver just pulls up, and it's like hey I'm on the way. To this other thing I get to take your car for free. Oh my Gosh, you know that doesn't happen to. Is it you ever you that doesn't happen to you? Then you lock your keys in your car today, three hours ago, three hours ago, I was an office deep is sitting in the Office Depot Park. It glad called my wife delivering samplers, you wouldn't believe it, but he was trying he was to take safe. I'M gonna sell these seers. Had you heard of this your out front trying to undercut off Sebois, hey Ma as got to sell these? For My kid you know I guys got to get rid of these. You know I give you five for a button, just the one off your shirt, I pop it off O. that's the easiest way to do it's easy for to do it. You know you ever popped the button of someone's shirt. No, you got to use your teeth, man. I wish you were wing a sort. I have experience knowing that or what you US doing. I wish your werthes the quickest way to you know, that's how I make sure no one Tis, your buttons honestly masks up with it. I don't know where this Pat's going resolve. So the cat took care of the rats, the cats to Gar the rats and they brought a bag load of money. Others there are bad, be they trade them for Bass. Now, yes, they probably traded them for the rats. I think we could use the no. I can sall those yeah. It wasn't just the cats, though it wasn't just the cats. Another thing that he, for some reason, really wanted- and this isn't today it would be found upon. If you did this, so don't get any ideas, but he really liked whale bones for some reason, so he just got a ton of them. He had like a basement like a storage dream and it was a o bones. Here's my whalebone room to walk down US Open the door, O a small on small whale bones. You know the metatarsal is the whale metatarsus is, is a way believe it or not. Is a walther. Skeletons are tiny and said: it's just a pot water, yeah ooh, my God, so much blubber whales are tiny inside. So much beat them. Aren't we all, though so much blubber is the title of my biography. So your biography! This is someone else, wrote this ostile about you, okay, so what else is so so ye one? He has all this all these Wal Bounds and this trend kicks off in Europe for male corsets. But me here's the thing for some reason: Milk Mail courses- specifically, I don't know why were made with male war whale bones. Okay, I Alborz the rich people were killing the Akan, you know and just taking their bones for their courses. How many mail dones do that, so they trick the whale bones just squeeze squeeze their chests in or something I don't know and tipathy was like Timothy was like well, you know what I got a lot of in my base life you. I got a lot of my basement, so we export some whale bones and makes a fortune out of these well bones and he's like now, my basement's empty may, or that's next okay, so he buys makes all his money off of that now. He really is just playing like you know the youth group, where you'd start with a penny, and then you Wud just go trade that up yeah yeah kind of actual this guy's life was just like a crazy for an extreme scale. Yeah of that his use group as I go, the game ended but yeah. So we had things done with this yeah we've been chugging soda through socks. For the last I learned I and he's like. No, I'm still going, I'm collecting whale. I I I look at all my wilpon. There is a kid, a youth group who does that too. I ring and you're like what are you drawing a a Bo? I want that heck man. What are you wearing Maloka right, so timothy, a man, he found faith, and so he said you know what I can export this yeah yeah. He does. He gets a TON OF BIBLES LOVES UP A ship full of bibles ships it overseas, just as submission aries were thinking. Are you joking? No nor gosh. They said they were praying. There's a Lord bring us some bibles and then Timothy Dexter Aristis here a boat crash into the shore. Next to them, anybody needs some botles. This, the shout from the port they're just like we got Bibles S E game, all right bibles and a whale, but the souls out of Bibles we sole barble, tells all the bibles. This guy is just insanely rich he's one of the most wealthy people in the whole nation. In fact, he loaned the United States government five million dollars in that day's currency insane Lee. How much is that nigh? I don't know. Let's take a look what you think that I don't know exactly the year around the time frame: Seventeen! No! I would have been probably like eighteen, ten, okay, let me at five million, do as I abeen ninety seventeen. Ninety, at least what you say. I said at least six million all right here we go inflation, calculator com. I got her wind faith, hoping that that's a thing. I worked. Five million a D D ventured ninety go whale bones for sale com, see if that one, just if not it will be the end of the night, we got a buy that no we're got it or get it say: five million in seventeen. Ninety is worth a hundred and forty nine million dollars on Le Cow. This guy's insanely rich insane, Lee rich and everybody hates him for it. They hate him for it and he knows it. So he leans and he goes it. He leans into it. This guy buys this massive estate in Massachusetts, yeah the massive Massachusetts state and massive Massachusetts Mansion and the things that this man did to this house. Okay, I don't know why you said like that. Okay, he he wanted to make it the most opulent place in the world, and so he built this garden, this massive massive garden outside and he erected forty statues of prominent people in the world, and so it was George Washington, William Pitt Napoleon, Bonaparte, Thomas Jefferson and, of course, himself yeah, obviously yeah, and it was Lord Dexter. It was the biggest statue in the garden, obviously because he was the most important and it had the inscription that said on his statue on his statues, a Timothy Dexter. I am the first in the east, the first in the West and the greatest philosopher in the Western world. I don't worry, got the foloi someone's twitter by a yes and so, and he started like painting like that's a cane west quote is like that's what that feels. Like that's one of his weird tweets, he started painting these murals on a ceiling. He started paying his walls het the sky, and this always was like Vegas like it was just insane and the nicest thing Tim could think of was Vegas. That's what he went he likes place was crazy ranson. It was why I'll tell you never seen so it's like in Vegas when you look up at the sky ceilings. Oh yeah, I don't know I've never been to that place. Oh my gods, full of sin you've been with me as an accountability partner. All right. We only went because Heman bree warm mayor. We to follow the bill. I Graham rule all right. I was gonna. Onsay went there on your honeymoon that was Goin to try to be like. I had to go to rule, but then I decide not to, but here we are, we can edit it out. His house was just so over the top right and everybody knew it. Everybody was like I hate. Looking at that thing. I hate walking by and having to see it because it's just too ridiculous yeah, especially his wife, so she made him bias Elizabeth. She made him buy another house for her she's like I want to listen, be for him, not that, of course, Frothingham propping. That's right worth oth words forward. They named a city after her propping it okay, propping a Lisbeth, had a separate house. She see and that's a is calling she just was like. I will not live there. Okay did she get a statue? I don't think so. Maybe that's thirty. You built a state for yourself. Would you give one to breathe? Of course, I'm sure would you give one to me now now? Definitely not would you give one to me? Okay, okay, I would have said yes as me. First, are you kidding me? I would give you a statue. If you had a statue on your property of you, you would build a statue of me to go along with it. It would submit your body and let you die out there and then people would be like what happened to him. I go. I don't know he disappeared up that statue out for him. Yeah ad, so remember, don't had to open it or nothing. YEA His face looks terrified a didn't dry, quick enough. I covered you and sit and your face is like and then you're stuck like that for ever. This is how you'll remember me here with the inscription says: Lord Stone Gosh Yeah, so she look at. I was trying to think of what the line about the coins was. I couldn't get it that's a I was on. It was a good call back in my head, though yeah I'll give myself crane, he got it and so because his wife didn't live in there. His son WHO's. Now an adult moves back in with him. Okay, and they turn this into the Frat House and they are just belligerently drunk all the time so much so that one time this guy was just on a walk. A leisurely walk through the R gated community and Timothy is tells us sun he's like you, should shoot that guy hold on before we laugh. Did he kill him? No dition? To do that? You know I, like you, know yeah. He says he's like you're, not gonna, do it I'm gonna. Do it I'm a very dry person and you should shoot that guy. That's when you know it's time to get an over I'm a very person. If your friend start saying, you should shoot that guy, you should, then I t yeah call them an Uber. Send them home. That is like Vegas satinet shoots that the guy misses horribly, because he timothy did it to. He was like you're, not gonna, do what I'm going to do. I miss is m a bunch he's like you should shoot that guy and I some like yeah. That's your state you're not go to it to every night he's like all these people outside looking at our house. Those are you put those there. There are forty people in r there's forty individuals, I wouldn't call the crowd, but it's something all right. There's a gathering outside one of them's, the leader he's bigger than the others of the scared, so that got didn't walk by that house anymore. I I got to change my routine over that a different different route, different root, but the house got famous. I mean it was famous already, but it got even more famous for being a place that was offensive to look at and then here's the next part of the line. That is more a interesting. It was offensive to smell rough, so yeah, so this house went down on a hard time with this mica. I want to be okay, yeah, it's really difficult hold on my thought on Certeau it out, we can cut it out my hand. Is Too big, we'll cut it out, we'll cut it up. I feel like we're not going to cut it out. My Mikak fell off earlier. It's on the floor. You just want to do yeah. It fell, but I was like you know. What show US right right there on the front were: Go, go all right! Okay! So anyway, where were we? God changes routine yeah? Have you ever heard of Timothy Dexter? Oh my God yeah. We didn't record this whole time. This is new sore, laugh again, all right got it got it we're going to put it in post either way. I'm glad you can I'm glad you came through on that. So the House reeked, the house mounds, really bad. The house was really bad. He had a third floor that was entirely for parties, but it stout being used because everyone's like I don't want to smell that place. Yeah, and so do you think it was the whale bones was smelling in the house. Do you know what was smelling? Are you just saying it smell bad? The quote is literally was offensive to smell, and then in giving context is just this place was to fend is how they talked to yeah the places offensive to smell yeah. How bad does something have to smell for you to be offended by it like it's like you can smell something and be like that's gross that for you to be. Like I offended of tamed by that Smell, I don't know it's got to impact your life yeah, okay, anyways, so these two were disgusting is the more of the story. Well, Timothy is he's made a ton of money in his life right and he's starting to become suspicious of all of his peers, because he noticed he's going back through the script of his life. He's like wait a minute. You guys didn't like me before he's going through the script of his life. He's like no one comes to my parties, any more and he's like he's. Like all the business advice, I've ever gotten. I think they were trying to ruin me he's like. I think they were trying to financially ruin me and she says you know what I wonder that what they would do if I was dead, and so he builds a mausoleum and he faces own death. I am a big fan of this guy and he gathers his family. He gets his wife and his children. He says come around children. I need you to act like I'm DA and everybody just says: Okay, and so they hold this funeral at this mausoleum and he's hiding on a e say he died. I don't know they didn't say, but he faits he fakes his death and sure it was easier to fake your death back then, to again I miss those days. You know I mean like it was easier to disappear, easier to fake. You could just have someone spread, a rumor that you died, yeah and no one's going to be like well. It says that he's online on Instagram, so he also at that time. You could be like. Oh to ghost, all right have you or a love worn, been diagnosed with too many advertisements during the till an podcast. Have we got good news for you, our patrons, enjoy, add free experience and they get early access to content behind the scene, stuff, exclusive merchandise and access to a private discord channel. We all are in it our producers and the hosts. So if you'd like to be a patron today and solve that problem, why don't you text till in to six sixty eight six, six yeah? So so he sits in the mausoleum and he watches this funeral. Three thousand people show up. Three thousand people show up to his funeral and they don't think he's dead and his kids are selling it. His kids are doing a great job. They are sobbing you have to yeah, they are selling it. Oh Hey! I think it's all. I think pizza is calling no way no way hello. This is Tim, hey how's, it going. Oh sorry, it's the fourteen yeah it's! The Rhino awesome sounds great. Thank you. I know about that. Gene was so confident in Miskes Corporate America pay all right well hold on this. I got time to pull it through. Do they, though, also I like your delivery driver? I do like him a live hi. This is me from Pizza H. I love this guy. I hope he wins. I think I come on stage. This is what my worry is that he's going to show up and then not want to come in the room yeah. Is it just going to be nervous? It's gonna have stage fright stage fright. I was just worried about. Like I mean, would you deliver okay anyway? So you think you, okay, thanks for by time, I believe in Minsky's, I don't okay, so his kids are selling it they're, sobbing, you sotting their eyes out, but his wife she's, just kind of enjoying the party she's got a drink. She's mingling she's, just like Aeon, goes on at that big house. Seyo know, in my mind, he's been dead for years. He sly he's, like you know what I've done. This has been dying before it's, it's not he's a land, so she's just enjoying it and Timothy is getting frustrated because she I whispering from them, he's like estarse it don't better and she's. Like Hmm, your house smells my house doesn't. Is that whatever his guest said? If he funeral good man smelling house, L Sel else the whale bowls so he's just watching his funeral he's watching his finer and he's just fuming at Elizabeth Fuming frothing at Frothingham and oh my gosh. I see your gyrae God you guys ready for this. I think Kalas trying to talk him into it. I was like listen was like listen. We give you a lot of money for this. You got to do your part already, oh praise, God he's so nervous. He does not want to do this. He doesn't want to come in. I hope he I hope he comes in. I'm really excited for this. Here we go. Everyone Start Sorry, peds Hut, Petah me a hut. Please we're gonna give the anyway. He was a Naini love that guy. I love that guy. There's no pizza in here. Anybody want some pizza. I love it before you even offered it Joe wait. Are you no eat that Pizza Joe got here? I four hours early Joe as a towel with our faces on it, so they came to my show in St Louis, with a picture we had taken in like two thousand and seventeen and then put her on a towel, my God and then we took a picture a think. You deserve a pzzant to offer it. I love that immediately we're like they're going to hand that to me that's my pizza. That was confidence, you know. Well, so does the next guy is mice's gonna get two trophies. Then I guess so great everybody gets there. You here something I wanted to boo the second place, but we were told we can't do that. So I mean. Does that hurt? I think it's Hilarious, but I guess hack is ticking Minsky's all right so so so timothy is watching to is funeral ye sing. His funeral happen frothing at Frothinghamyes, and he says you know what I've had enough and so he sneaks out of the mausoleum and just start berating Elizabeth in the middle of the wake. The priest is like doing the speech and he gets so mad. He like grabs a cane and starts hitting her with it, he's like you're, not doing good enough yeah like I really really angry and everyone's like wait. A second is that Timothy Dexter is that that guy who's funeral writ guy looks some out like that statue over there as Timothy I'm offended by the smell and by the fact that he's hitting his wife with that molasses, but what's happening, and so everyone's like you're, not dead. I can you please do this for me I want to. I. Can you all to show up to my funeral Jowis, a pizza? Is there to Ekowe O next Saturday Bridie in two weeks. You know it's like fat. I was gonna say you know. What's murder, we, I said fake, okay, but also fat. All right, so he's like you know, ruining his funeral absolutely ruin his own fe by being alive and everyone's like really mad about it, and he just says you guys want a party drinks on me and just turns it into this massive turns out he's a live party and everybody just kind of dances, the night away and forgets about it. Okay, it's, like you, know, ship and Colin New Cai's, like sorit your own funeral. You know it's a sane. It works out. It works out. I guess, and so the Guy Yeals be honest. This event wasn't great for their marriage, it's kind of fracture between the two of them. Luckily, she already moved out a long time ago. Yeah, you don't got to like do all that stuff yeah. So he just starts telling everyone he yeah l anyone's having fun like hey. Can we just forget about the whole, like me, Yellin, an Gian hit with that molasses, food and she's like no. We can't forget about that. We wouldn't have done it. If you would said Nice things yeah. If you would have acted sad, a little bit, it actually sounded like Maro's counseling. I wouldn't have done that if you had done this so so he now. He has a track record of this, because now he starts telling everyone that Elizabeth is dead. Oh yeah they're saying that can't be they're saying they can't be O se. This, like, like you know she left me yeah. So ons like what happened to Lizbeth she's dead she's a really saw her at the dollar general, a general. How long is do General de saw her the Coil General? What did you say to Canina Lieutenant? I don't know at they call an Canea tree, so people did exactly that. They said well. That can't be because I just saw Elizabeth yeah and he was like well that was her ghost s like yeah. You might have seen her wan talk to her ghost. Her Ghost doesn't like me, yeah she's, rude and so they're like they're e a, but we see your coming into your house all the time and he's like it's a ghost. It's a Gush. That's her ghost watch out for evil, ghost coluche out for her evil ghost, and so he starts. He becomes kind of like this street profit kind of guy, so he just kind of hangs out on the side or on the street corners telling people about how he could run the government better and his wife is dead. He lose it or is he like? I think he lost it a long time, probably preak funeral. I honestly, probably before he got out of the what I, how old, are you when you're eight? What grade are you in or the second grade? How old are you with your hat? Probably Second Grade, I think that's when he lost it. When he's like now, I should drop out okay. This is a slow spiral. That's low, so now he's out on the streets being like watch out for that he's followin around town dude he's like a cuss over there, don't talk to her she's post once I when we were in Los Angeles, once we went down to Hollywood, Boulevard, N and one of the street performers just like leans over another step before and points at me, and this goes that guy is a cop and that's so confident and serious, very like be careful at he's a code. So that's what did you arrest him? Oh yeah, I fall into his car, followed home, really leaned into it, or now he was doing some drugs, so I turned out he was a cop, for it was a trait feeling so that guys, a cop and the cop who's under cover. As a Hollywood street performer in this scenario, just Hollywood spider man's just out there and he's like in the suit sweating like don't blow my cover, sweet, doesn't suspect the thing okays he's telling everybody about how he could do everything better than everybody is he's: braiding priests, Brading, the government brading his wife, like everybody that exists he's like I'm better at all this than you. I could do it better and he's like. I can prove it by the ship loads of anything. I could sell and give me a ship load of whatever I'll sell it for a lot of money, because I'm better than all of you and so he's one of those guys right, and so he says you know what makes sense for me at this stage. In my life essays that Mat by the podcast weren't around that guy's time, you know he would have had one and it would have been popular and that well, you know what was around at that time. The newspaper was what was around the printing press books yeah, so he wrote a bullet obviously, and this book is literally called a pickle for the knowing ones and in this book he just goes on a tirade for a pickle for the knowing one yeah. It's about forty pages long, that's my biography about forty pages long, and he goes on this tirade about how bad the government is, how bad Presso, how bad his wife is, and it's his big book of Philosophy. Here's a thing. There are eighty five hundred words in this book. Eighty five hundred boards. There is not a single punctuation. It's a forty page run on sentence. Forty pages, no punctuation. On top of that everything is misspelled, there's not a single work, let's to Coretti years old, lad and there's random capital letters all over the place just random here I actually have. We can see an excerpt here, I'm not I'm a you! Want readers, Lord of the the Unit States of America. America re a mercury now of newberry port. It is the voice of the wow. That's rot! It's really really really about fourth line. I love Lord Prete Souna for don't hurt a cat nor the mouse he did that he on a mouse. Did you read this? I didn't real great because this port down here says in the first place they are, are found in the next place to make out dexters Voisim. I want four lions to defend the great and Masein from east to from north to so which now are this way. I want four lions arihat the places race. The lamb is not ready and short meter. If agreeable, I form a here's. What I love about it, as he didn't say, I want four lions. He said I once I wance for love O reliance. I want four lines to defend this great end, something men from why this is mystery. Men, Merman, watchin, O the mystery. I here's the thing: here's the big! This guy's got forty statue for large cats. We're not liking this guy's, Lord exotic, a right, the Tiger Lord, so he doesn't even sell. This he's got enough money, so he just is walking around the streets like their tracks and he's like a Watusi it out to people and here's. The thing he's handing it out to people and eventually a printer, gets it and he says Oh yeah we're selling e, Oh yeah, they do a barns. Oh Go is gonna love this. I tell you what I don't know, Mr Borders. That's an old one, so the guy gets it he's like yeah we're selling this. They do eight editions that flies off the shows O. I need this. I ended it all and the other editions. So after the first edition goes live the press gets it and he gets a lot of criticism. For you know the old grammar yeah crisis import it the like. We can't understand anything but one of the biggest things I said at least add some punctuation to this yeah, and so he adds in a second edition. The publisher comes to him and is like: Do you want to add some punctuation? He said sure, and so he has an Denda at the end. So the end of the second edition, there's a page, that's a full page with a text in the middle that says for all the critics. It spelled way worse than this. It doesn't. If you read it, it wouldn't sound as good as what I'm going to Er all the crickets for all the comices for all the critics. Here are your stops and marks salt and pepper them where you would like, and the next page is this? What we just want some punctuation of your book- You do it he's like this should be enough. Tis put wherever you leave. I don't think I can see, but in this column of question marks, there's one exclamation point. This looks like something my grandma would share on facebook and be like found it. You know when you find it things, and the publisher was like yeah is, is good. What are you gonna cut it out pasted in came with a glue, stick SIC edition rap to the front, so Timothy Dexter Yeah, you wrote that you know he wrote that poetic, really when you think about it greatest is resis called full. Stop Pretty incredible, pretty incredible, and so, when I heard about this I said well, I'm going to get it shut up. WOT IS DUMB Ha. This is a pickle for the knowing ones. If you can't see the picture this is this is this: Is Him and his pup? This is going to go up on our wall. This is going to be a new piece in our studio, we're going to frame in going ones. Here's what's crazy. The second addition is impossible to find it's like a collector's on em. I tried so hard. This is first edition, so we don't have the stop page, but yeah. It's really really tough to find that second addiction or addiction addition, second edition, it's incredible and so you'll see. This is amazing. You'll see this in our studio. From now on, we're going to hang it up on the wall. Well, maybe not from now on. We need to find a place to put it but wow at some point soon. We'll hang that up somewhere, I tickle for the knowing ones so got. What is the dedication you put into the craft an it says, Lord Timothy Dexter original edition with illustrations? Did he illustrate it? No, he didn't all a so. This is a later like where someone else so you're saying that hat is proportionally correct. That's what he was or back up, that's a he ha. The dog are proportionally correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's wearing a little dog and I said, that's actually a whale bone on his head. Incredible, incredible, wow to the dexter he's a legend wait, even the even the title of it. It's a pickle for the note and then the one is not capitalized what it looks like I mean this, a petal, the sub title where's this sub time I mean. Is it not on the front on the front of it? Is this the set title I don't know read it. Let me know pickle for the knowing ones by Lord Timothy Dexter, with an introductory preface by a distinguished citizen of old newberry. Fourth Edition. What's the pre, oh, what's the you were trying to find me to tell me to do what some time yeah I was trying to get you this sumtimes there's a some title. I thought it was on there. I guess it wasn't it the wrong addition dude! Oh my Gosh! This is almost cool. I can't remember. I can't remember what it was. I thought I thought I had that on that it is printed in Vegas just see you know, that's funny, that's why we went you bought this a couple days ago. This is prince it on demand Sata's wild yeah. So he he rode that book. Just handedd it out handed it out and it got to be pretty say every look under your chairs right, happy. Why do you look so he had surrounded himself by this group of people that were insane and one of them was a poet who wasn't good, but they wrote this poem and this kind of lives on an infamy the house that he had built after he died, someone came and they sold all of his statues. He's the thing nobody wanted them, so they only sold for a couple dollars a pot, the one thing he couldn't sell. It was because he was sad. He didn't get to sell him. Yeah, you put us on a boat, you show on the islands and they're like you tell. This is crazy. Yes, what you keep doing, wiss you looking for these ates, and so so they couldn't sell them all. They sold them off for a couple dollars and they had a bunch left over, so just pile them up and they burned them, and then they took his house and they sold. It became a tavern cycled through a bunch of owners and somebody somewhere on the line said you know what we want to repaint this house, but there's pain on the walls already, and so we can't paint over it, and so they said, let's burn the paint off, so they burnt like half the house down. Obviously I took care of that pay out. The was I saw that that's that's a quick dip, OATTA's gone so so a historical society got their hands on it. It was like half brunt down, they ended up, restoring it and they they sell it. Now, it's like some private property, but there's a plack out front written by this poet. Who was one of his friends. The poet says: Lord Dexter is a man of fame. Most celebrated is his name: Oh Gosh. He sold cats and rats and bats more precious than gold. That's pure Lord Dexter shine forever mere. So you guys are going to love this guy. We dropped out of school together, all right, so here's the thing he did die he died had a big funeral. It's how I feel show his actual one. I don't know there's that he like no we've been to that one eel catch the next one. I would be interested to see how wife did in that one, but yeah so upon his death, though the paper went to some of his contemporaries, his business partners, and they asked for a quote- and this is the quote. I said his intellectual endowments are not something to be exalted. A was it that was the club. I oh, he died. I you want a cop for me, yea you're, Goin, say something: okay, he just doesn't see what the kind of guy who knows what's going yeah and here's here's the craziest part of it all just before his death just or for his death. He was, he had been long retired from the shipping industry right. He had made all his money. He was too busy right in books. Now right, none of the other ones got published. None of the other ones made it off the drafting table and so he's doing this career right. Yeah someone told them they said. You know what I hear is happening in Georgia right now. Oh my gosh. We got to get a ship load of fennels down to that estate. I'll, tell you what you're, having a sittings of one last night is a production of space tim media produced by Christian Taylor. Audio is edited by Alice. Garnett video by CONARE social media is run by Caleb Walker and graphic designed by Caleb Goldberg, our host Er, jare, Myers and Tim Stone. Please follow some social media at Tillin podcast, that's till in poncas. Leave a review comment subscribe wherever you are. Thank you for listening to things on the last night. I


Timothy Dexter might actually be the luckiest man ever to live. Dexter was a prolific business mam at the dawn of the United States. He was one of the first people in U.S. history to rise from the lower class to the upper class. His business success, however, was entirely a stroke of luck. Few things that he succeeded in … Read More

Ferdinand Waldo Demara – The Greatest Imposter Among Us

11-02-21

Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey Man, what's up, I had something like contact. You wear contact, you know. No. You always made fun me for wearing contacts. How long have you were in contact since eighth grade? There's no way I made funny for in you idiot for wearing content, what a you can't have strong natural eye site I've, not a thousand and twenty vision. You don't you suck. I've never said that as why I swear. Are you thinking of someone else? No! No. You think that I was trying to pass off my contact wearing eyes for just like this is natural. I think this is a Mandela effect yeah. This is definitely like a barons tein guys kind of situation. You know, because I have there's no way. I Made Fun of you for that yeah. You never work out, there's so many other things. I invite you for. I don't know why I would choose context, there's just a whole other list. You know yeah you don't you never work it. I don't buy it. Jar, never wore contact. Yeah Jaren doesn't have eyes anyway, you I you listen to the podcast version. You don't know that. You know you listen to ad, you know, that's just skinned Wi S. I should be yep there's not as an ice ogist. My ol doesn't have eye sockets, it's just a flat. Just there's a no stan out, there's a Freeson, you know and it's just a flat landscape of a face. You know it's pretty gruesome to look at Ye. I guess I would assume I don't know. I don't know what. Then I don't know what it makes like know what things look like, but I will say, as a non e having person, I did make fun of Tim for wearing contact. I, like you idiot how poor is your vision and he was like. I have odes you know, and what, when I did, try to shove two pickles to straight into my face. I was like I heard this worked somewhere this I got pickles for eyes. It's going to be a medical manual, get this for Canadian Lumber Jacks. Well by God. That's fine got a screw in it best night of my life. I know that it doesn't sound like it. What? If what, if hold on what, if you impostor the motor things anyway for for listers, I just need to let it be mown that a couple days ago, Jan and I had a conversation because our eels episode got really o Yeah Percent Yeah and we were like yeah, it took us forever to talk about the content and that up yeah and we keep doing bits at the beginning. You know so, if you're here I don't know what this topic is, but if you've googled it. Your is very interested in. We haven't even mentioned what we're talking about yeah and then you've made it. This far, you've probably skipped a lot, but you have made it this, for I have a way man, I'm sorry, yeah, welcome to the show Tim has eyes. So have you heard of Ferdinand Waldo de Mara for Folorn Waldo and Waldo Yeah de Mero, diner damara damara yeah, Feminine Okay, it's not it! Now! It's an as IT'S FEMININE! Is that okay, it's linguistics! So No, I haven't heard of any of this, so he is as wikipedia calls him an American impostor known for impersonating other people. Yeah is this frank calliades real name Bro? I does he like I impossibe he imposther and steal money and stuff. No, I think it's a hobby he's like no he's like a he's a. What do you even call that person an impostor? No, I would commeant. No, no! No! I mean like okay, but I'm saying like does he m? Does he imposter to take money? No? No or to like trick people I thier? Is it an act? Where he's like? I can do these voices, you know it's not an act. What kind of is an act, but it's not really an act honestly. I think he's just addicted to seeing how far he can convince people that he's somebody else, yeah like how you try to convince people that m done as your yeah brother cousin brother to cousin Hasan. She is my cousin, we're cousins yeah. If you say it enough. Yes, I she is get cousin, we're cousins, look her at Emma Stone Tim Stone, Amiston from Phoenix Arizona, Tim Stones, Linea just from Phoenix Arizona. You don't have to dig that deep to be a man reaped page says it yeah. Her wipe stage, let us his family Tim Stone, Co host of things so on he time you have five weeks to make that happen. I realized that Gonta add it to infinity. Let me just go into our back in here and let ad a little show note. I'm literally adding good to yeah got to try to figure that out also could a cut this part out to make it just look smooth or leave it in, so people can get it behind the scenes. Look, you know how you can get it behind the scenes. Look Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, that's right! That's where new episodes drop on patron, patrons a way to get early access to episodes and a their content and exclusive merchandise, and we're not going to stop there because we have a private discord with our host and producers in it for less than seventeen cents a day. That's right! That's! FIVERS! A month you two can be a Patriot supporter and not your advertisements in this freaking podcast anymore text, till in the six, eight six, six, otherwise I'll come to your house. I will find you. I will destroy everything. That's good in your life until we're the only thing left anyway. Here's another advertisement so fetiche Alfredo for a man Al do de Mar I'm very close. Okay. So here's the thing: here's! What this guy did? It's incredible, I'm just going to I'm on a start from beginning this way. I don't want to Embarras, you can kind of thing or he's just like. I just want to see how far I can get almost yeah, okay and I'm gonna, I'm not going to tell you a lot of times. I tell you his accomplishments and then we go on this R, I'm sure to tell you the story, because it just it just goes so I think it all began when he was about thirteen years old. This guy was born in one thousand nine hundred and twenty one. So this is the early S. His family was pretty well off until the Great Depression, and then they had to move to a much poorer neighborhood, and I think I think, for Ferdinand one of the his problems he always struggled with. was he just got bored really easily? He had a photographic memory. He was very intelligent, but he couldn't keep his attention on one thing for very long and I think, especially after his family moved to this poor neighborhood. He didn't know what to do for fun. Until one day they lived in Massachusetts, he managed to get his hands on a couple manikin legs, and so he goes out. They moved to Massachusetts, and wouldn't you believe it just everywhere in Massachusetts- is just Massachusett Mannikins and their legs. What happened on the tors torn arms? I don't. I have no idea what happened he just grabs. It lags. He somehow got the legs and there was a big snow storm, and so he just stuck them out the snow drift on this busy highway. That's fun. I just hung out watching people swerve off the highway and pull this the I of this guy. I am again in all I O wow. This guy really nailed it. That's Hilarious, where you did that thirteen yeos prodigy! That's a are you kidding me yeah, that's funny, so he did that three years later he's sixteen he's in high school and he's he just he's like man, this school stuff. Really Boring not into it. Yeah doesn't give me the high yeah that watching people freak out over Manicola he's, like he's, been chasing that his whole life. You know he's sitting there in eighth grade in eighth grade he's just like at his desk, just like, Oh my God, zoning out in class, just like looking at the front of the classes, imagining the Manikin legs and like not even in a creepy way, I'm not like in my God. I have manikin a lot of crises to anyway. You stop at like a yeah, but like a man that was my moment or he's just like in his head he's like did I pikat thirteen you know is that homecoming freshman here wins. I you win Tom Thinking, I mean he like. He has high school accomplishments, he's the quarterback of the football team right, he's the Brom King graduates top of his class. A still your heads, not in a none of it, is like he's just like yeah I'll take what my head is in s, no drift in Massachusetts. That's where Moroni was gonna say so. Tempt Massachusetts is a two thousand and three email album yeah. I love it. The snow drifts in Massachusetts, so I he's sixteen and he just gets tired of school and he says you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to run away and yeah. You know what I'm gonna do. I'M gonna run it's. What is this? The early es yeah? The is a classic movie where he's just like you know what I'm going to do. You see that open road, I'm gonna walk and I'm gonna keep blocking. I'M NOT gonna. Stop till I kep where I'm going so I know when I get there. I don't know where it is now, but I'll know when I get there. So it's sixteen. He run away from the House. He runs away from home at sixteen to you, take the legs and runs to Rhode Island. I only hope you know you know all those like things where they got the stick in that bag. On the end of the TI, just kind of a manikin like, and a bag hanging off, the ankle of it he's just walking down the road thumb up, trying to get a ride, guys like driving down the highway. It's the late es drive down the highway in Rhode Island on my ways and he's like Cindy Lou. Does that boy have a leg? Is that it is that a lake he's got on? Well, don't worry about him down. Just keep Dr There's a screw sticking out of that thigh. What do they do to that woman? There's a screw sticking out of that thigh well by God that five got a screw in it. cindly eyes have never seen such a thing. I know that you're blind and don't have any, but let me try to explain it that boy. That boy must have a screw loose, but there ain't a screw loose in that time. I go so he runs away to Rhode Island and he lies his way into a monastery and becomes a silent monk. Convinces them he's older than he. This is the plot of a good place, though we heustis like the quick, the easiest way to get away with. Something is just to not say anything yeah. So he lies his way into this monastery becomes a monk, but it's a silent monastery, they're silent monks, and he stayed there for a few years, but he eventually gets kicked out for lying, which is ironic because to lie. You have to be not silent, what they can write stuff. I mean, I guess so so yeah he broke the roles they kicked him out and so then he's like well I'll, join the army, so in forty one he joins the US army lot perfect time to join. I think yeah great great year to get an jump on in you know he joins the army and really quickly realizes not a fan of this, but he joined the army legitimately. He didn't just show up to camp and was like yeah he like legitimately enlisted and then, while he was there, he his tent mate Anthony Agnola. He created a pretty good relationship with him, got to know him really well and then realized. Not a fan of the army, so I am now Anthony Agnola and I am going a wall, and so he just ditched the army. What happened in the Real Anthony Igoe did so he dishes the army goes to. Canada enjoys the Canadian Navy, then, like the American army, you I like a different arm. It was the American part I didn't like and he becomes a hospital Corman as Anthony Amelia, yeah yeah. So now he's Antiano, Lia and just took up his personality took on his like fake paperwork. Pretending to be him becomes a hoss hot again. I say this every time we tell these stories yea. I wish that I lived in that time. Era Yeah. You could just start over Yep Yep Yajus go somewhere and be like this is who I this is me, I'm this guy. This is real to see. Is Me I'm exactly who I'm supposed to be so so he he became a hospital Corman, oh you're, mad, that I sing songs. I'm now that you say that so that's fair. So he becomes this hospital Corman. But he's like he's like a medical assistant, he's not like. Actually doing much but he's assisting now doc did he pretend to be a doctor, so he's just assisting yeah. I can hear it in your pace of your voice. You're, like Oh man, this guy yeah. Okay. Here we go, but he never got to the position he wanted in the navy. So he chases, I don't know a resident of President of the day E, I'm the emperor of the Canadian Navy, so he fakes his. I he fakes as suicide. Oh my God files, another name, Robert Linton, French, who is another real person, he's a doctor who man don't Dr French Yeah, R, French and he goes, and he manages to get all of French's paperwork so his birth certificate, his PhD, like all of his paper to paperwork, just gets his hands on. What do you steal it or they go? I don't know how he did that just goes in the office and is like. I was like Hey, Hey, I'm Robert French. Could I get his license and his PhD and my my license and my PhD please so yeah, I don't know how he does it, but somehow he pulls off getting all of his paperwork like his legal, identifying paperwork and he moves to Erie Pennsylvania and gets a job teaching psychology and ethics at Gannon College love that which a teacher yeah. So it seems like he's working his way through the good place, cast right right, because at first he was Jason as the silent monk now he's cheaty teaching ethics Yep Yep, and so he actually stays here for a while until eventually he got bored moves to the gotbische takes on some other identity. You say it like that say like what Lost Angelis, I don't know, you moved to Los Angeles, moved to lost last an gales, oh my, and he becomes an orderly at the La Sanitarium. What is any of those words, you just said mean I'm going to be honest and I m not positing orderly at the La Sanitarium Yeah. So the sanitarium was the cleanest place in La no it's a a medical facility for long term illness. So they typically or treated turberculosis for antibiotics and orderly, I'm pretty sure, is kind of like a nurse and attendant at a hospital responsible for non medical care of patience and the maintenance in order of cleanliness so yeah it was the cleanest yeah. He just came and cleaned like the bed, pants and stuff. I don't know He. I think he was like kind of like a kind of like a nurse was like guy I'm over qualified for this. What was his name at this point? I don't know he took on another identity, it's hard to keep track of all the identities that he took on s because he took on something it's crazy. That that's. The other thing too, is that he has to keep track of those things yeah. You know like in his head when he's in Pennsylvania, he's gotta, be Dr French right M M yeah. I don't know how he how he kept up with it, but yeah so he's in La and then he also was. I don't know how he did this, but he was like commuting back and forth between shifts, so he would do it some time in la at the sanitarium and then he would drive up to Washington and teach classes at Saint Martin's College. As dodger French, I think as the well whoever his orderly personality was. So he was like some like adjunct, nursing, professor or something like that more like ad junk right, but somewhere, someone in one of those jobs was like kind of got, win to something's fishy here and alerted the authorities. The FBI starts keeping tabs on him and figures out. Oh Hey. This is that guy who deserted the army back one thousand nine hundred and forty one? How do they track that down? I don't know, but they ended up. I rest O it a lot of stuff there. I don't yeah. I don't know how they pained him for that, but they ended up, arresting him and giving him six years in prison for a military desertion yeah. He ends up only serving eighteen months and gets out on good behavior and after his release he took us out because he impersonated a guard right. He was like guys, it's me guard Bernard and they were like. Like I do you know Bernard you know I mean I guess so I don't know how you ended up on that side of the yeah. Get you out of there Gardar classic in no. Now I tried to median legs. You know still has the mania legs this whole. That's of that! That's how the fate they were like you have two manikin legs. You know we saw a guy deserting the military and all he took was to Manikin legs yeah yeah, so he gets out of prison and he's like, I think, I'll, try being a monk again. So he does that again. He joins the brother's Christian instruction in Maine, which is a Roman Catholic order, and things go well. There gets bored, I moves back across the country and assumes a new fake identity and studies, law and northeastern university. Okay, realizes halfway through the program that he's like. I don't need to get the degree I'm just going to fake one. Oh yeah he's like what am I doing it's like. Why am I going to school? I am a doctor. I am my military monk Doctor, I'm an orderly military monk doctor. I don't Raly, do I of this, so he so he starts teaching law and why he's teaching law a Canadian surgeon moves into the same as us? Well he's starting catching it yeah. Well, he finds some Universi that he's like Hey, I'm a law professor and they were like, like okay, all right l, you can teach this kid, have an empty law classroom that you can just walk on it, there's actually a class in there right now, yeah professor waiting for a lawyer, so I me Fen hold on hello you're a what no way I was just praying for a new law prefect's, a class waiting for you right now. Yeah like got our last law. Professor just got arrested for personating a lot pean here I was praying about what you do now and here you are, and here you come ready to teach low. That's for in a row that have just lied anyway. What's your salary that you need you, Oh yeah, that's pretty big, but I pretty high, but we need based on the resume that you wrote by hand. I will pay you that so Canadian surgeon again this is the era of world that I miss yeah base that people just trusted each other Yep. They just believe each other. So a Canadian surgeon named Joseph Sir moves to a school to teach at his school so he's near the twilight is creer something and he's moving to America, something moving to America, so he needs help with his paper work. So he asks his new friend Ferdinand to help him get his. He was like he was like. Oh I. I will gladly help you so Ferdinand. Just takes the copies all his documentary and moves to Canada and opens up a practice as Ferdinand ser the surgin, and then there was a surgeon yeah. Never really does anything in Canada ikey much immediately. Yeah the Korean War breaks out. Oh okay, okay, and so he says I thought you're going to say pretty much immediately. A patient came in, you know he had the tools and said there was like you're going to need to see a specialist about this one. I you know like how yeah you should see. How long can you push o o you just not e yeah, so he he he says, Hey. I got navy experience, I'm going to join the Canadian Navy, and so he joined the the navy again and he's on base, so he quits the practice as a serpatas goes on base, and he is like, of course, he's like guys. I know how to amputate things. Wet is like you have to that screw put itself there, there's a screw in that thigh and so here's. What he's where he's at he's he's been an orderly. He was a name Navy, coreman and so he's got a little bit of experience around the medical field. He's got a bit of an idea of how a lot of things work, but he's not he's, never done it. So, while he's on base waiting to be shipped out, he makes friends with all the other navy surgeons, yeah and he's got a he's want to compare notes ye no better. He tells all the other Navy Corman that he's working on a book and what it's going to be my. Is it O it's going to be a medical manual, get this for Canadian lumber jacks so that way, when they're out in the field, if they get injured, they can perform field sergey on each other news right step by step, yeah, and so he just goes to each of his his other navy surgeons and he's like hey. Why don't you do one on amputation? Why don't you do one on this kind of like and just gets them all to write? How to do these different series and he's saying he's writing parts to, but he's not, writing anything. That's honestly, I mean, and you got to respect it is the thing: That's brilliant he's a genius he's a genius, so he gets shipped out right and he's got his lumber Jack Buts. Again, you got to make it easy enough for some dumb lumber jack to read. You know tackles. I don't use words like that: the lumberjacks don't e!! well now yeah yeah, so he gets shipped out and he has an assistant. A medical assistant he's the surgeon on board his destroyer, his Canadian destroyer and but he has a medical assistant, and so he tells his medical assistant. He says: Hey. I want to train you up. He says this is a perfect opportunity, for you get some real world world experience, and so he says you're going to do everything I'm just going to offer my opinion going to observe yeah, and so the the the medical assistant does everything on board the ship Hatem until they get to Korea and when they get to Korea. Two important things happen. First, one of the naval officers on board the ship needs to have one of his teeth removed and so ferdinand stalls him for a minute and consults his lumberjack book and then welcomes him into the room and removes his tooth successfully, and so the naval officer is now none. The wiser he's like yeah, he's a real surgeon. He removed my tooth, everything went great, I think was fine. All I did was you know like he just title string around the anchor and when we dropped anchor that suckered as pop dry. Now I know yeah, so he weel surgeon. He pulled a tooth biggest procedure. He had ever done in his life right. Well, they get to Korea and aboard the ship, comes a group of Korean militants that needed medical attention and he was able to off load a lot of the work to his assistant, except for one who had a bullet lodged in his chest near his heart, and he was tasked with performing the removal and he was like. Let me consult Looso Yeah, so he does the same thing. He stalls for a minute. He's lumberjack book was out a full axe. That's all the tools they got in Te. Tam Sides He to get the bullet out of your heart, so he literally just wings it and he does it and it was successful and he saved this guy's life and it was such a phenomenal story. I there were naval officers there and a this guy can take teeth and bullets out of your body. There was naval officers in attendance watching it because it was such a big deal because it was like not one of our melaten. He was performing the surgery as a Lisenin surgery saved his life, everybody witnessed it. The naval officer wrote home about it because they were like this. Guy Needs a commendation like he save someone's life and he ends up in the paper. They take pictures of him on the ship, put it in the paper. It's it's all over Canada right. This Guy Saves Korean militants life, but then Joseph Sir's mom reads the paper obviously and says: That's not my son. Well, the Navy to told on me mom is so that was the danger of war stuff, you know was war stuff, but the danger was like, because people did long distance relationships, they wrote letters back and forth. You kept a picture in your wallet and you were like this is what she looks like. She may not look like that when you get home from war, my guy got a look different yeah. She may have had a head of surgery to get all her teeth out and you call home to you know: Gummy Gale, all right and she's, like hey, welcome home from war and you're. Like you, don't look at the picture anymore, you look nothing. That's not my girlfriend and and she's like war, kick a tall. You know. So I'm not your go friend. Now, I'm your gun, a! What, if is there a wit? Is there a way for him to convince the MOM like mom? You know me mom. It's me guys, I'm so sorry, she's suffering from the lumber, Jacolliot lumber, jacks call it de Menja. That's what she's got. I think I don't know. That's what the lover does. Call it a mom. It's it's! Your boy! Joey! It's your boy! Have you read of Tillin podcast March? That's right. We have a merged store full of tillin bread and teas, hoodies mugs and so much more. We also make new designs for every single episode, but those are only available for a limited time, so get them, while they're hot text till into six six, eight six six to get your till in March today, so she calls the navy yeah and the name L, one eight hundred a d may do she called the general, and so she calls the navy in the navy's, like okay hold on a second you're telling me that this is just some random guy who performed surgery on some other nations soldier, and they were like. Don't let anybody find out about this and they, Mrs Sir, that's her name. I don't know you're laughing at that. That's her name MISSIS, Sir! Please shut up! Please quietly walk into the sun. How about that? How about? How are you go away? You know that will pay you to never speak again. Actually we're going to have this we're going to have Joseph Sir. Remove your vocal courts can never tell anyone, so he so the navy is like the name is like a comet him and as like, hey so we're hearing these reports. That you're, not you, say sure, sir he's nighted at this point nited, Sir Sir we've got some reports that you're, not who you say you are, and he was like you guys. Like he's like I don't like oatmeal right yeah. You know I lied yesterday at breakfast and I was bigger than that. Okay, how Oh well? What do you do now? I got your teeth. Give it the note. I got your teeth. The the naval officers, like Sir Sir we've got some reports that you're not who you say you are and Ferdinand was like. Who Do you say I am Oh, my God I am so they just say: Hey! Look! Let's just keep this quiet. Let's just ship be back to America and let's just pretend how to this ever happened. We don't want to in international. You give me, though, no I have to give a bag like no, but you can keep the tooth in the bullet and so he's got. He got a bit a true man he's get Lix is to and the bullet. What's in your hand there nothing. Oh it's just a balloon. The tooth in that order, in that order, that's some serial killer, stuff yeah. So, while he's back in America, he's obviously got to try to get back into doing imposter ISM, im, posturing he's obviously got to get back to you know yeah pretend so he he tries to become a monk again. Does that for a couple years gets bored and then says you know what I'm Goin t old? Is He at this point he's no is Nienti is es yeah, so yeah. This is, I mean, he's doing like one to two year schemes here like these are quick schemes and then he's out of the next thing so somewhere between fifty hundred and fifty nine, a d exactly sure the year. He says you know what I'm going to start a Christian college, and so he opens up the Christian brothers of instruction and he made this religious teacher. I thought you were literally about to tell me, because in the s do you know what college was established angel? I thought you were about to go. That would be incredible started the school called Evangel universe. That would have been incredible, but I then started so you started the college, got it charted by the state and where we're at in Maine, okay and then he was really offended because the Christian well honestly, he should have gone the Christian around to begin with, because you can get some pretty prominent positions with zero qualification to its true, and so the Christian brothers instruction was at T. I did Christian comedy you like yeah, I'm not a comedian. No, I said I was a comedian, but there was like okay, whereas comedy clubs were like. No, we are you and then Christian. The churches were like yeah. You are yeah cool, that's good great come perform for our youth. We will literally not vet anything. You say yeah yeah, how much you want to get paid. Well. I guess I haven't even thought about that. I didn't think about getting paid. So so he took the Christian brother in struction. Wasn't our already an organization he took them, got them organized into a college, but then, when that happened, and he accomplished all of it with the state, he was really offended because he wanted to be named the Chancellor of the college or the rector of the college. Those were the two titles he wanted. They didn't give it to him. Okay, and did they give him a title? What did they give him? Another time I give him anything. They were just like thanks thanks sorry, and so he then said you guys picked an awful name for this college Christian Brothers Instruction and he just left and he's like I'm mad. That's what he's he left with an insult yeah, your name's, stupid yeah. I didn't like it anyway. I didn't want to be here anyway and so and then at night he's just looking at the pamphlet to join the college crying and his so so Hartman after he left the college moved to Canton Ohio and re organized as Walsh University, which is now actually a still school still school. They have about two thousand undergraduates and six hundred is about the size of angel yeah about the size of it. So if you went to Wash University your life a game, this guy made it up, your college is made up yea, they all are yeah. I mean I guess so you know at some point. So one was like we should start a college they're all made up. We could make up right now. Are we going to make a Tillin University? No we've already got. We got so many things. We've got vigilanti valley, right, yeah. We should just how hard is it to get accredited you make like a till in online course. I bet we could. I went to high school. I bet we could get a credit. We were going to get you an associate's degree. Okay, yeah I mean as long as we can charge tuition. We'll have Christian look into it: seven, email speaking of tuition yeah, we have a patron five s a month. That's your tuition to till an university he be to. You got a shout out Patriot in the I did it twice. I didn't really do it the first time we can cut the first time out great. We get that time on to. We can actually just we had to have to put an episode out. Speaking of putting episodes out next week, we're putting out a pretty big episode, yeah, we we haven't filmed it yet because we this week on it a couple days ago. Well, how does shows work? Do we pretend we've already filmed it because we haven't yet, but we could act like it? Okay, let's try that that sweet, sweet smashing success this weekend say thirteen people in the audience. Thank you so much. We still had twenty five tickets, alreadie yeah, but half a more show right. You know, and your wife's not going to be there. So that's fourteen right, so it was awesome. All Fourteen P Yeah! Is this: What we do? We pretend yeah yeah, okay, this o this is the impostor up anyway, the live. We recorded a live show by the time, you're hearing this we will have recorded a live show and it comes out like it comes out that episode that episode comes out next Tuesday. So I don't miss in so I set a little reminder in your syllabus at Tiller University on no was putting in the calendar. The syllabus yeah put a little reminder somewhere and remember to check out the A or he watched it on line or whatever yeah. If you were the ethics for coming out and you'll, maybe hear your laugh and a tenor yeah. If you were there. Thank you so much. We had a blast eastly than last night of my life. I know that it doesn't sound like it because I have not. I have no experience to pull from right now, so so, after the Homai name is o. So after the whole lost university incident, Ferdinand is in a weird spot: okay, because he got kind of famous with the whole navy thing, so his picture has been all over th place. He's trying to be in the navy, try to keep it on raps, but yeah a little bit of like a thread. That's like kind of leaking out there. Okay, well, a reporter at time. Figures it out and is like this guy has been lying, has been lying at least about the navy. Thing may be more, and so they reach out to him and they say hey. Can we buy your story and he's in some financial hard times, and so he says you know what yeah sure, whatever I'll sell my story, I'll sell you my story sure. So he sells a story. They put out an article, they do a photo shoot with him and like he is the cover story on life magazine. Why, for time, it's the same thing. If you look at the cover, look at the cover of life, look at the cover of time and tell me it's not the same thing. It's the same thing, but it was. It was life magazine, I probably said time, but it's life. Was it relevant or time Rotha magazine relevant magazine? I know what you're saying now it was life magazine. Was It club house? What's the One? That's the the like the folks in the family magazine Anyway, so he does the he does the magazine and he does he's like the center ful. Like all the stuff right he's the center Poles, the centerfold of the magazine, yeah, Okay Yeah, so they have a. They are a full body picture of Ferdina to Mayo, and I want a watnall do de ma, demar. Okay, for I just yeah. Did you buy this week's addition of Life Life magazine and not even he, he the whole time. He thought it was life magazine, it's life, cereal. So I e you pull out this poster on a n in boaster poster poster. I got my impostor poster in my cereal today. He's the senter fall is what you said. Oh my gosh, okay and the story goes wild everything, Oh yeah, the story right because he tells all in this story. Yeah, it says Life Magazine impostor tells all. That is what it says on the cover. Then after that comes out, he goes guys. I lied about that whole article. None of this. What what? If? What? If E, what if hold on what? If you impostor the Oster, what it was it an another guy comes out, was like Ho, that's Mandodari. What are waking credit for my surgery and that guys, like you, can't prove it the guys like look what's in my hands as of a bullet and the teeth you know so so he, after that things, start to get a little tough for him. He tries to get another job at a university, goes really far in the interview process, and then someone recognizes him and says you're the guy from that life magazine and he's like he's a like cereal but yeah, because he was using fate credentials again. So then he has to watch in an interview room and they have the frame center full on the wall. To a he's, like he's like trying to do that thing he's that they were getting at him he's trying to sit in front of it. You know he's like like trying to block it so itch on my back. I just slept with like this, but he actually gets pretty far. The interview process with this university doesn't make it because the guy recognizes him and so ends up working a few short term jobs like as himself because he's like. I can't do this anymore. Everybody knows me things quiet down a little bit and then he got himself some fate credentials, so he could become a guard at a prison in Huntsville, Texas, guard, Bernard Gar, Bernard Castela, and he having been to prison kind of gets. A G has a good idea about how to be a garden, so he just guards it up for a little while and then he he worked. His way onto a game show kind of work, his way back in what into public life? What game show take a good look, so there's three. It was three celebrity panelists that guest your identity, so this kind of propelled him back into the limelight, Oh yeah, because I was like Oh this- is that guy that, like wid about that stuff, yeah and then Hollywood picks up his story and they were like Hey. You want to play yourself at a movie, and I it was that a question. Or do they say that, because it sounded like they said that hey you want to play yourself in a movie is the way you said that that's how the Hollywood at least just approach people and they go. You want to do this and then someone goes. I want to do that's like a a way to do that baseball movie or that is that the old dad who became a pitcher or yeah exactly, and so they gave him a role in a horror film before his movie they're getting ready, they're putting his movie together, and so they said, Hey, let's put you in a small thing: Roll so can kind of get your feet wet. I M in a movie called the hypnotic eye. Apparently he showed up was like I'm the director I well no, and the dredger was like he's like no, you, your Fordonne Rado Yeah he's a you're, an extra in the scene and the girl was like okay. Okay, what do you want to be an extra end? So, ironically, his role in the film is he's a hospital surgeon in this horror movie. But here's the thing his his acting wasn't great, and so when the movie was in production and they were watching it back, they said sucks, we should hire somebody else. Er like wait. Hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on this guy is not good at pretend. What we tar was acting is not good. This guy's not great at pretending we are talking about, so they end up casting someone else to be the lead and his and play him in his movie, and he gets really mad. Who Do you? Who Do you want to play you? Well, he didn't like who they chose him to be him because he's like he looks nothing like me. I were like Ivy Buddy, it's pretty much the same so so he gets angry becomes a drunk for a little while because he's really mad about his failed, acting career and then gets bored with being a drunk he's. Only pretending every night he's just drinking water and then, like I'm, an angry drug. That's what they do. That's how you know when you're at a Bar- and you hear someone say I am an angry drum- that's the time to go home now I will say if you're at a bar and someone legitimately does say that it is the time to go home. But that's how you know is that he goes I'm an age, that's probably why they like his acting stuff. As he's back there doing the hypnotic eye movie and he was like. I am a surgeon and they're. Like you don know, no people can trelsar the context. CLUES YEA is like it's like he's like there's no lumber Jack books in this operating route, because I'm a real boy was and like hey, write that down. I think we can use that anyone at in a different movie. So after being a drunk for a little bit, he actually goes to the Union rescue mission in downtown L A and becomes a counsellor for seven years. This is one of his longest dints in any of his cons. This is a corn yeah, he's note, counselor he's a consoler that your say and then in sixty seven. He says you know what it's time for me to do something real for myself, and so he goes to Bible school and gets a legitimate Bible degree in Portland, Oregon from the Maltine School of the Bible, and he becomes the pastor of Cherry Grove Baptist Church in Gaston Oregon, but he ended up. He didn't stay long, because rumor started to surface about everything he did in his life and he broisat point yeah. I tell you about my test. Let me tell you about who I used to be all right. I have the teeth and the bullets to show, and I great bullets teeth, there's just one. So he ends up resigning from that position because they felt that he was counting them again, even though he had actually got a Bible degree and had yeah legitimate creditis this time and was playing himself so play. He was getting to be his killing this role. To be honest, and so then he moved to tootle Washington toodle and he became the pastor of to the late Community Bible Church was there for a couple years and then he moved to Friday harbor, where he worked as a school desk driver and then, as long as you know how to drive a school bus, you know yeah later he became long as you're, not looking at the kids like all right. You guys are going to have to drive this thing. I'm just going to observe. You know, I'm just here to teach you how to drive a school bus, hmm yeah, so he became a hospital chaplain and then kind of lived out the rest of his dayse discipling people in the hospital and performing minor surgeries. He didn't do that, but eventually he died and that you can't imposter that you know yeah. You can't impostor your way out of death and that's really the message today is: Why are you waiting to be authentic? You know you can't fake your way into a better life, so he died in eighty two of heart failure and at this point he had lived a pretty amazing life as a naval surgeon. There was a stent that we didn't talk about where he was a Silva civil engineer didn't do a lot, but he was in built a bridge built. I don't know if you've heard of it the Brooklyn Bridge. Now I've actually heard he built the London Bridge Yeah and that's why it was falling down. Oh God, he was in a prison guard doctor of applied psychology, a hospital, orderly, a lawyer, a child care expert, a bending monk, a trappist monk. He was an editor at one point, a cancer researcher. At another point he also got a job teaching in an elementary school and then he also was teaching in the university started a university and performed a very successful or two pretty successful surgeries one was minor but and really pulled off by the best prank in Massachusetts. History, which is, is so tritone absolutely absolutely, which honestly he's got nothing on Robert Down and junior. Who was a investigative that one point was a brilliant master mind of solving crime and was a also a very rich person who became a Superhero Yep and also one of four brothers in Detroit Michigan who lost his step mom or adopted mom and brother and avenged them? Yeah Yeah also opened up a restaurant with his brother that he didn't really have a part of him, but he takes credit and yeah yeah. I don't you going of. I know many more things he he ran a. He was a veterinarian who could speak to animals and a movie they didn't. Do that great? I think I just realized. I am starting to blend Robert downy junior yeah. You were. I was Goin with you're, fine yeah. No, I heard you I heard you're fine, you find your fine. I was like you, he yeah. I know I know yeah you're good. I was letting you do it, though I was like okay, this guy yeah, like the same person yeah. They are to me at least right. He was also in the greatest showman. You know we might as well thor a huge Jack Wet in there. He was, I saying you might as well just keep going. Why did I think? I don't know you can was like all right S. s like Yeah Robert Donyer is more yeah wow, so prity incredible life or you're, saying yeah. So he he had a book written about him called the great impostor and then another followup book called the Rascal in the road like that Tater, like biographies. A couple songs came out about him: songs, yeah, some, some yeah anyways a couple times came out in dedication to them. The Old Im, pastor, fake thou life, Yeah Yo that one yeah so there's an episode of Mash that reenacted his surgery in worak surgery. There was the feature film that he was supposed to be in, but he wasn't in starting Tony Curtis, which he didn't like that Tony Curtis was him and then a couple of TV shows and and now he's lies on an infamy wow saved a life man saved the life and took a lot of identities, so yeah Yeah Fernand. You know what happened was he had? Actually gone into Georgia once to fiddle off the devil, but then, at the same time he went you want to play the fiddle a right, and then he tried to be the devil and that's kind of how he died. Yep, Yep yeah, so this final accomplish file accomplishment was pet to be the devil yeah and the devil was just like. I don't know how to play this thing, O like honesty, so the devil spent a couple of years learning the fiddle and the devil spent a long time, building up a defense against fiddle ors Ferdinand with a for her and was like you play the fiddle for and for today went back to La and he found all the people started, trying to become rock stars and he was like silver. So is the S he's like he's like selling your soul, I'll make you favit me your soul and he knew the guys in Hollywood because of his movie yeah. It's s like give me your soul. Like a couple les you made himself read: Yeah kicked open doors, had a fog machine he set out by the door. You want to give me your soul, Puthur here, Bon Jovi, I know you want to fame. I know that you Banjo VI. I know that you just got offset of that movie where you play for the Philadelphia he invincible whatever. I know that you just got off set for that. I need you real, quick, I'll, make you famous by joy or solely to this Solo Cup, we're half way to come on we're half way there. I met Er the rest, we're half way there. Somebody get a sharpe can label this budget LE, as is it it's this on my not sis pot joy. What's in this tree, watchin this dream Bun dofi. So what is that French? For a couple of years I lord fiddle came to La, and I was like, I figured it out. The devil rolls in the Oxalis and says I to read just walking around like has anyone seen for a name all to I figured it out. You might be saying his name, Satan Yeah, you, my she painted red anyone, seen the red man with a bunch of Red Solos of famous people. I need to so low CYAH. Actually, he started the Church of Scientology is over here, O love, the so the devil, chacked them down and feddle them on. Oh, my things are done. That night is a production of space. Tim Media produced by Christian Taylor, audio by as Garnett video by Coner bets are graphics and or logo by Kaleb, but Goldberg and our social media is run by Kelaba. Our host, our JERN myres and Tim Stone falls on your favorite social media platform at Tillin. PODCAST is till and podcast remember to tell all your friends about us and we'll see you next Tuesday for another episode of things I have on last night


Ferdinand Waldo Demara is quite possibly the most legendary imposter to ever live. This man lied his way into almost every career known to man. Throughout his long life, Demara was a correctional officer, a prisoner, a soldier, a medic, a lawyer, a surgeon, and so much more. All the while being unqualified and his contemporaries being none the wiser. … Read More

Valiant Thor – The Alien Who Lived in the Pentagon

10-26-21

Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey Man: what's up, have you ever heard of valiant thor what valiant thor valiant? Yes Thor? Yes Valiant Thor? Yes like for what I don't know, how many times I can co Yeah Yeah I've heard of valiant for that's that college is that was like Valiant Thor Tech. You know, Oh my God. No, no, no you're, gonna, you're, gonna HATE! This episode is in an alien one. Is it an alien one? Okay, you a picture of her. I can tell you by the picture: If he's crazy, I'm telling you right now somewhere approaches me and their argument against nukes involves aliens, I'm I'm not pro duke, but in that situation I'm pretty prone rats. A new book called Matthew, Mark Nuke and do- and it's like a case mixes a male things. Okay, go ahead! So so so there's this guidance valiant thor owes not ly. IN ONE T S A strange craft landed land in in a field outside so dumb. Wait till you hear the story. Okay, all right go ahead, so I'm not going to say anything but O Tis. All you did have fun so landed in this. This field outside Washington, DC and the police were called. They show up on scene and when the craft opened up like the gate opened, they immediately drew the guns. Expecting a funkia craft. Explain the craft is a dis, don't have any information on the craft, they expected the inhabitants to do the same, to draw whatever inter planetary weapons they also had, but they were shocked to find a peaceful man walking out of the cap craft. Okay, let me tell you, let me just go to yeah. Let me tell you from the beginning, okay, so here's the thing this story is ridiculous. It is, it might possibly honestly be the most ridiculous story. I tell you on this show. I don't believe that, and I'm I'm really honest with you. I know you told me at Sigmund spent ten years of his life dissecting eels. So that's a Tory, that's basically, but this ore is made up. That's what you're saying I heard it. I think we all heard that every single one I was like in that one was true as opposed to the crap I'm about to speel. I've got it. I don't really buy it, there's a chance, though, because I don't buy. I don't change, I don't buy the story. I'll tell you there, but there is a chance that I do and the reason for so the reason for that chance is because there is a handful of prominent figures in the US, like high ranking officials in the military and in the government who corroborate the story who they hadn't corroborates a strong word. They haven't said that it's wrong. No, that's that's too weak of a word. They have. They have referenced Valiant Thor in passing as if it was a normal accepted thing, and so they haven't said they haven't gone out and said, or you just out to lunch with one of the generals. You know he's at macallisters, tin and he's just like yeah. I mean that movie just kind of reminds me a lot about this, like valiant thor incident anyway, how's your Tuesday. I've never told you what Hal Thor said to me on my thirty sixth birthday. Well, you know, and there we were it was. It was pretty crazy because I mean, like my this fantasy league right that I did you know it was at a time where JFK wasn't president yet right. So he was in the League and then there was valiant thor and he just got really bad in the league, but JFK won that year and he was like hold on back up. What did you say a you know: JFK wasn't dead. Yet that's what I said you like. No, no. I understand how time works. You know, but you said something about. I understand that it's bere one thousand nine hundred and sixty three sure valiant for yeah. Can you talk so spacecraft opens police surrounded, ready to kill whatever comes out peaceful man, humanoid human human in man, herson human, and he says he says: Hey, I don't mean you guys any harm. I need to talk to your emperor, your where is Josh Wa. Take me to the emperor of the United States. This is I need to talk to your president, but he didn't say it. It was telepathic now you're. Joking, are you serious and the police? Are you serious Tom? Are you joking did he, as you were saying that he said it telepathically shot of the police? For whatever reason I just I like, okay get in the car and they drove him in the DC to the Pentagon and they just pulled up the PEDACO and say hey. This guy needs to touch the president and the Pentagon or the Pedaga like this, isn't where he lives. Suppose for the wrong house yeah. This is the giant Pentagon. This is a dark Pacothi. Is the Pentagon house he's at the white he's the white one? This is the tandarees a lot of white building here, no he's at the White House. I like okay, so they go to the capital building and they're like we talk for the president and they're like like you guys are police officers, you locally, you should know where the White House, how did that guy just say that to me without moving his mouth? You see some kind of good trilloes vitalis tore over here Sky Coss, like only time after people can see with the big eyes and great of puppet right in a very talented Ventura, CIS right and so a million four yeah. He does a dumb voice to yeah you're right instead of doing a normal voice, he decides to do a cartoon. Is She does the alien voice? Ll, I'm relume to foe? Take me till your emperor, you know so they go to the Pentagon. They got the Pentagon and, as the story goes the Pentagon as this yeah, this is all made up. You can say whatever you want and it'll be just as true as what actually happened. They seem to be ready for him like they were in a go, was like. We heard the message to yeah. They said yeah, we know he's here and they take him to the Pentagon into the Pentagon, to an elevator to the mile underground yeah to the Pentagram Chamber of the Pentagon. Now that's that Er that the elevator takes a do a wrestling ring in the middle. That's the Pentagon. You know it's just like free, so this at the pen I mean that's: What's at the middle of the Pentagon, is the freaking alien fight club right because, like all the stuff they're getting you know, yeah originally the USC was going to have a Pentagon, but the Pentagon was like hey. We've got that train surly on go to go on if you'd like. We are Pentagon, TM, sorry about that, so they they take them down to the basement. Where there's a subway that goes to the White House secret subway, nobody knows about it, except for the people who know about vally, thor yeah, there's a subway and also a subway. There's a secret subway we're going to take you to the secret subway. Oh really, does it take us somewhere. You ever been to a subway before yeah you're Goin to get a spicy Italian. There Wal get yeah, I secret some way and like it's just it looks like a dingy old place and then someone goes and like all the stuff. What's over and like this employ this like sixteen year old kid walks out is like. Do you want a footer? A six inch, Oh, no sorry, we're out of Italian names and she a honey ote. I understood, and then I I don't know what's in the Pentagon, so you gets Onin the sun of the pentagons. Listening to this and they go. Oh, my God, the you guys have figured out that we have an a week and ilses a proud sponsor of elw right and our podcasts. So they take him to the White House and he gets the White House and at the White House they were like yeah. Let's go talk to the president and so the where's, the subway station in the White House where's that pull up to the basement right where the White House, as basement so a but I'm saying like. Where did the stars come up at you know the basement? No one's hearing like the ISBA train, yeah, they tell them it's the Wifi, it's like! Oh, that's, just a WII super loud yeah, really mine's, quiet yeah ours is ours, is yeah sounds like a train. I don't know when you got top secret info running through that Wifi. You know it's just pretty. It's like fiber, but yeah, and it's like really I mean your wife- is one yeah, the wifies loud. Let it go, stop asking not the Wiffin, you stove, if you as to the I in an I'm, pushing you in front of the Times what tracks the wife I tried. Don't you know how you want to go, see the basement. That's a really great! It's not white! I mean composed the rest of the house like we've painted it. You know pretty surprising. If you want to see it, yeah I'll show you I'll show you so sorry. Let me ask a different way: Do you want to see the basement? Hey, really exciting news October thirtieth and Kansas City Missouri, we were doing a tilling live show. Please get tickets there available right now until and we're going to have special guests, a live episode, Q and a bunch of stuff tim right now is researching. If we can get a monster truck there you're going to love it. If you were anywhere near Kansas City or you're able to get there, we want to see you there. So please go to the website. I am by those tickets because the spots are limited, so let's hang out and just keep making some amazing magic stuff together, fit off huh, so he gets to the president's office, the Oval Office, if you will, and the president talks to him and is very interested and everything else to say so long very short, basically valiant thor is saying: Hey new, so dane the were calm valiant thor. Can we call him V T or something? Well, they actually call a vow. So we can talk out. Here's something. Let me tell you this. Let me tell you this when I picked this topic, I was like. Oh, this is really interesting and I started researching it. I was like man, this is a crazy story and I kin to it the more I was like. I don't buy this, but I really want you to hear it. So so you know bow so val tells the president that nukes are bad. Not just this. This John F Kennedy or is this? No, it's Eisenhower is an Harrer before okay, because this is what year in the early s like early, is okay for fifty. No Yeah S Jakie and come into sixty one, that's right yeah, so so he val tells the president he says is Enho Yeah. He says hey eyes it as like. Please call the eyes an hour. Please call me Hower, please don't say that ever again, all right is holy, so I hate that an alien form comes to earth and they immediately get comfortable with it. They're. Just like Yeah Raro, where I, your secret, subway Atoica, you can eat. I tell Yo what is an take you, the press, but prays so he's dill dies in Hower all about how nukes are dangerous and like they're, not just bad for humanity but they're bad for the entire Yuse from the future. At this point is, are we saying no he's an alien? I know, but I'm saying is: He is an alien from the few. No okay, so he's saying he's saying that news are dangerous, not just for humanity, but there they would have ramifications for the entire universe, and so we need to stop having them, and so he's telling is an hower. You need to get together with the other world leaders and create this sort of pact to stop it with the nuclear bombs and never do them again or have them at all because they're dangerous, and so then, in the middle of this conversation, this is one of my most favorite parts of the story. In the middle of the conversation, the Vice President Nixon locks in the room, yeah and Nixon greeds valiant thor like an old friend, and it's like a case. Nix is an alien he's, one of them and they just kind of chop it up for a minute. He walks in and knows his name. Yeah he's a loss of Littahs vs for V, guys Nixon a godly, I'm in now, wow wow, it's about val and Nixon, a Iseno er put together a plan, I to brief the rest of the world about the dangers of nuclear bombs Nisan. How is very thankful for vall's work, so eisenhower sets up an apartment for him in the Pentagon and pauses he'll stick around until like sixty three or something like that he's like he, a all Ha. Why that your? Well, I don't know well, I guess I'll, hang around till November of one thousand nine hundred and sixty three, I was a pick in random date. Let's say the twenty second yeah and at which point I need to just the right. So so you so he vow becomes like almost like a diplomat to the United States from space to like its uses, perfect time, and we haven't named our next emperor, yet we're actually in the gap between our emperors yeah, so so now of your tow and then the rest of his team who their names are Don Jill and Tanya. His Group of humanoid human looking alien well he's vow, which is short for valiant for right, yeah, and so the other ones are donant thor, Jillian thor and Tanya. That's as gray for yeah, Jillian so over time. Well, then, Gin and Isy hower right. They fall into love right. But it's like oh he's, Mary he's got a first lady he's gonna, so so valuator is described as a handsome tall white male about six feet. Tall looks strikingly human except for his six fingers claims on each hand or just one of them let it is good. Six O one it now he's got six umble hands is an extra cut. He moves his hands on the quick. He can't really tell she's always on him all the pictures are borry he's always moving his hands around every. He like why you ove or an so much he's like oh no reason, yeah, it's just a thing. I do makes me more memorable honestly, and this is the only picture you've seen of Nixon's hands and if you count them, it's a good point. There's six one chain, ah so value thor, creates this like pact between his aliens, becs and the US to say: Hey we're not going to do bombs anymore. Do other countries have alien stories, yeah, yeah, okay, a yeah I said now. If, like you know, aliens were choosing the United States. No, no, they choose everybody. Well I mean, but God chose the United States. That's what the Mormon said. Please he's here's the way the aliens work they're smart. They say they come to every country and they say you're the best couch in the world. We need your help, don't tell the other ones, don't tell everybody else. It's everyone else, you're the best. They came to Emperor Norton to and said that they said you're. The best don't tell anybody else, you're the protector of Mexico Yeah. You need to keep Mexico safe, and so at the same time they were also saying to Napoleon you need to take over Mexico. Basically, what they're trying to do they're trying to pit us against each other right pretty crazy, so that works with the US for a few years. But every time is a how ar supposedly going to come out with this information to stop nukes like he wasn't going to come out and be Hay, an alien told me: We can't nuke each other, obviously, but he was going to come to the rest of the countries in the world and convinced them that nukes were dangerous and we can't do him anymore. The FBI or the CIA or the defense would come to him and say like block him essentially from doing that, and so he was getting red taped out of making this announcement, and so tow thou knew this isn't going to work through the government. Somebody else influential is going to have to break this news to the world to stir public opinion, so he goes yeah so he finds. I know where it's going to go ahead, rider and Christian evangelist, Frank Strangest. Oh, I thought I was going to be like a Hollywood producer or something no. No. He goes to an evangelist. Obviously and frank strangers is an interesting guy because he he has a degree in business and a degree, and I don't know something something. He sounds like an Jusos who would run a circus in like nine tens. You know just to us the strangest things you've seen you know and it's like a whole. It does sound like that Barnam and Bailey situation, but he was a devout Christian, and so he left his career. While he was a private investiator and then he left his career also as a pean bow was like we're, also Christians, and so so so that was like hey, you know how Jesus is coming back. Did it I told you you needed to say it. You know I was just telepathic Wat yeah tell about that. We communicate it to him now. So this this evangelist was. He wrote a book, Here's hers where he wrote a book about the Bible and specifically the story in Zekiel, where there's a vision of an alien or not an alien, a vision of an angel that is described as a wheel within a wheel, a wheel, turning within a wheel, and so he says this has got to be aliens is his theory of Frank Strangers. Why? Because he's like he's like if you live, if you listen the wheel within a wheel, it's kind of like a UF, it kind of looks like a flong saucer. If you imagine in your head that way, if you imagine a flying saucer, it kind of looks like one. You know, I give you really like it. You think flying saucer and you think that thing might be a flying saucer. Then, when you think about it, it's looks the same. That adds up to me yeah, so so he so what vow is a Impuni, the Pentagon yeah that okay o your phone get close to it, so this guy's on tour, promoting his new book and he's at some church and talking about his book trying to sell his books and afterwards, at his little book stand people are buying books at a lady comes to him and says I have something you'd like to see, and so I asked her words after believes. She tells him that she's in the FBI- and she says, come with me, and so she takes him to the Pentagon and walks him into vows apartment, Yeah Homo. We a knock first, he might be watching TV. I vow wow. I have a guest here. Yeah. Do you clean up today? Is it Frankoyse him a moment? Yeah all right vow? This is Frank: Sturgis, a totally sane person who you say surges. What did I say turges you said sturges its strangest Turgis, okay, stranger strangers! This is frank strangest who is a totally normal guy, and I was in a inrushing. You vow a totally normal guy. All right see all later yeah yeah that's pretty fit. I was is in his apartment, yet so tousin his apartment. He walks me in em and he says Frank. Of course frank. I called you here, Frankie Body and so just getting immediately comfortable with everybody. So he proceeds to tell frank that he read his book and he's like he's like you're pretty close, and so he tells him the real truth that he wrote his book. When I mean he probably ordered her Amazon, read it in a port or something you know what I just thinking the other day. What do people do in airports before Wifi? What the same thing they did everywhere else before. Why fie what you talk about? No, but I mean like I mean you go somewhere else without why I you just wait a couple minutes whatever, but I mean especially before Wifi people who show the airport like four hours early, and you don't have you no wife, I. What are you doing? You didn't watch in Flax, so you read, it are you reading the books at the new stand like? Is that what people did in the airports they talk to each other like? What did they do they get food? I don't know. I think why, if I changed to chas a millennial tries to figure out what life before technology was. We talk about yeah, they talked to each other. They read books, they were the newspaper a lot las yeah. That's probably what happened he read. He probably bought it. They sat there a marvel over the fact that they were going to fly in a plane by the clouds and they were like. This is crazy. The technology can do this. They appreciated the world around them, they got to know their neighbors and the people that they knew and loved and cared for, and now we're just so sucked into our phones that we don't even hear the LAN waning al around us they're trying to get they're, calling us by name they're, saying there in same room: Hey, hey, hey and you're, just like man. I wonder what people did before this. You know. Probably Talk to Ali, I don't know freaking encountered aliens. So just frank does frank: You says: Hey you're, pretty close, let me tell you the truth. I says my name is Valia. Thor I go by VAL VAL says: I'm from the plant of Venus shut. It's what Your Bible calls the Morning Star and he says we're in in in race. That is part of a Galactic Federation that has been watching over the lesser races and the universe. We're always a orace intelligent ones. Yeah we're pretty dumb and your governments have access to nuclear bombs that stand to threat, not only your race but all the rest of us and so we're trying to stop them without like coming in and making a scene. You know we're trying to do it like quiet, you know, but your government keep locking eyes and her as an have been trying, but your government keeps blocking them, and so I need somebody who is kind of primed to believe the story to go break it to the world and frank is like I I'll be your willing vessel. Have you ear till in podcast March? That's right. We have a merged store, full of Tillington, teas, hoodies, mugs and so much more. We also make new designs for every single episode, but those are only available for a limited time, so get them, while they're hot text till into six six, eight six six to get your till in March today, so tall tell do tell frank, not tells frank. Even he's look he's like he's a look cause. She amity is Pretty Pretty Pretty close to the truth. He's the thing, though, the angels areas profits there. All as Jesus is an alien and God's pretty unhappy with humanity. I'll tell you that God must be an alien, then I mean maybe he doesn't say explicitly like whether or not gods an alien but he's his guy's. Pretty unhappy. He's kind of annoyed like a fed up with us, but he wants to give us another chance to try to write the ship. It's like you need to stop nukes an so. I just gets this Christian writer the task of stopping nuclear bombs from being a thing, and so frank goes. He read a New Book writes I called Matthew Mark Nuke and Jo. The Christian ar the Christian Alien Argument Against News, the Christian Alien I'm telling you right now. Someone approaches me and their argument against Nukes Involves Aliens, I'm I'm not pro duke, but in that situation, I'm pretty pro. No, you know I'm like Im. He best argument. You have against it. His aliens told us not to. I think we should. You know, because that feels like aliens being like. You know what you guys shouldn't have guns you shouldn't and would be like: Oh yeah, we should get rid of those and then they just come here, wipe us all out. Yeah Yeah I mean it's pretty fair, so val just said: Hey. I need to help people turn towards God. An you. Just got the new thing and I don't know whatever like write a book or I don't know so they went to so vow. That and frank write, a book together, but Franks, the only one who gets credit on the book, because you know the alien thing, it's kind of hard to get profits, yeah you're, not a Siyou or have a tax code. It's yeah he applied for an in and they said what do you put your address as the Pentagon apartment or five, like you know like and a God sweet? What's the Pentagon's address? Is it just Pentagon? Do you can you just put on an envelope Pentagon and then they know how to get it there I mean they know where it is. Let me see the Pentagon address. I feel bad for the mail room at the White House, because all of us wrote letters to them like the third grade yeah. This is not worth it. I'll say that it I mean honestly, looking at these addresses, it looks like it's literally just the Pinto sweet number first and then the Pentagon Washington DC. Was it cup like if you stroll up the yeah school through. These are all the different secretaries. You can mail to. It looks like it's the Secretary One Thousand Defense Pentagon, Washington. I think it literally is. I think it literally. Is You just right, petty frinds Pentagon? So it's whatever, I think it a Igor staff, Pentagon, sweet department and then Penrod I to gone address. That's what I knew. What do you think I didn't Google Pentagon addres? What do you think that Google Address Washinin DC real? How do you get there? What road is this? I don't know man, that's interesting, the PEDAGA s not on a road, it's just the Panti, that's pretty crazy, you're right about the Pentagon, not even address you're right about the subway. If you are right about the Pentagon Pentagon, that's the same were like okay hold on now they've, given out our mailing address. Okay, I think we got to shut this podcast, a yeah, which is why our address is just podcast, Kansas City Missouri. If you'd like to manage anything, if you just put podcast, could we try to apply for that? As our address like? Can we apply, we make podcast road or what we talking about? No, can we just contact the government, the government and be hey? Can you just me now? I know my guy who could help us call the US PS and just be like hey. This is my address now it's kind of like like phone numbers where you can get those vanity phone numbers. Yes, Hello. Can I talk to the emperor place? I know I got. I know a guy. No, I know a guy hoping up. Yeah Hey, I know you're busy doing the whole apple bees thing right now, but could you like just throw away not a little favor for yes, Sir Yeah? No, I'm sorry, Sir Yeah Yeah! No, I understand thank you. What do you say? He said he knew I said Frisco earlier, so all of our earnings this month are gone. I gone a Bummer, so so Ebi just I he writes the book Frank Strangers Franks. She just writes the book and here's we obviously have to buy. The book is, how can you buy non Namozine, still yeah, it's for sale. It was a rings in our bio, some of noral. For me. So here's a thing his book is like one of the only real sources you can find this story. Obviously he made it up. It all signs point to him, making it up. Here's the thing, though it's I it's like you, your whole episode on like Fro, you heard about the ar one thousand nine hundred and eighty four. So this is creep book, the only source that all this stuff actually a pin, one thousand nine hundred and eighty four right all. There's everyone. Anyone else, history, they're like no, I didn't have en, but this book you know, tells the story. I guess you know Isy Howers Gone Eyes, good old eyes, the walk around, but even got eyes on eyes, yeah. So He's here's a couple things: okay, here's a couple things with this, though ridiculous story, lots of evidence that frank strange as make it made it up right, right and lots of just like stedyin alien trips in it, like he walks out of space ships as that come in peace and says, take me to your leader and then he's got problems with nukes claims to be Jesus sort of like claims to it's kind of combining all the alien stories together, yeah, it's kind of putting it all together. But here's a couple interesting things: There's a photo of him! No there's not there's a photo of an we go and here's the thing that gets confirmed is the leaders in the military es or prominent people say yeah, that's valiant! For they don't say who he was or what he did, but they say yeah, that's rotor! You want to see it yeah, obviously yer right- and this was at one of iano speeches and a lot of high rinking government officials. Just say Yep, that's it, and this is outside the book. People have asked them lanes how that's down the door, which is strange because valiant thor is not a traditional given name and it looks like just a normal guy. I mean it could be a picture of anyone, but the fact that there is, I mean there's about a dozen government officials who have said yeah, that's val thor, but where's Tanya. I don't know what time it is. I don't know on photos of Don Jill Yeah, there's no photos of his team. Okay. So that's the only picture we have them. That's the only foe we have of him where's. He speaking in the picture. It's a got a vent. I don't know yeahs is in how speaking at some event and also eisenhaurs great granddaughter now is like campaigning around the world. Like travels the world, telling the value thor story. No, she does not yes, shut because she says it's true. What's her e says, let me show see a picture of her. I get her name is Laura. Let me look at Laura. If her name was Jill, I was going to flip my mind. Yeah she travels the got a picture of her yeah politic. I can tell you by the picture: If she's, crazy or not, you know exactly what I taking about to yeah call rasy o this one. You chose the good one too. I tried to hide the back. I don't know how well you can see this, but that is not a sane person, so she travels the world campaigning that it's a true story. Well, this was better holy crap. Let me see, I don't look along we'll put it on there, so she travels the world campaigning for you o. She claims that her father or her great grandfather now signed the rito truth. PODCAST is one that she was episode. She she was on. That's a believable title discussing the journey towards full disclosure. So she s e. She says that her great grandfather's side, the treaty with the aliens I so is an had it, the actual president and the line the far Romo material for some of the stuff that she's on. How do I go back? You See, I'm saying, like I mean like I took that picture in a dark, closet, bigger question season. One Laura is and Howard, the great granddaughter of President is an Howard talks about M J, twelve basis on Mars and an extreme secret space program. What's that face that's the face of Oh, I can of by that Dr Dream and Laura is a Har, metaphysical soul couple on far out radio COM, the more you search, this person is at say the Marysas person far out radiocomedians the more you look, these things up, the faster it becomes just like ridiculous. It is it is. I mean they are a couple. This is her and him together. That's what they look like we're going to send all these pictures to condorier like we don't need to judge her well, I am not judging anybody. I'm saying that you want me to base reality off of that person, absolutely not he's what his I'm saying you because I mean for the audio experiences. Okay, she looks like you know. Imagine the basically, the mom from Princess Diaries right that, like painting in the loft kind of like frizzy hair, like crazy oils person like her eyes, are always just full and wide and she's married to a guy who dresses like a pirate. You understand, like the Bay Dana the fluffy white shirt. Like a that's, I mean and you're saying that this is a reliable like you're, not saying it, but people are like this is a reliable source for information, and I'm saying no well, her great grandfather's present lies in how Er yeah so she's reliable. I really hope that my great grandkid is not a crazy person, yeah yeah, so that's that is rough anyway. She claims that her family has signed a treaty with the aliens. Obviously well they've got a bunch of NDA as well yeah. You know I supposed to talk about it, but she is that's why they made her. Look Crazy, that's photoshop! All that stuff is well. She got a lawyer, assign it in new Venus Right. So it's an envy NDA, oh my gosh, so I don't know I mean I'm going. To be honest, I wanted to find your feet. The tries one I beat you down on it. I was like you know. This is not real he's the thing I didn't believe it. I wanted to believe this menser story when I've heard the like. I heard the like plot line that I was like. Oh that's really interesting. That sounds cool, but the more I dug into it. The more. I was just like this guy this. This author just made this up this author totally just made this up took a bunch of alien, srubs and just kind of ran with a frame strangers. Look like I don't know, I'm willing to bet. He looked a lot like bowl, for he was his he's, he's one of the probably the the nail in the coffin, though for it. While I look up for Estranges, I, the story of valiant thor is almost exactly the same as the story. The plot line from at a movie called the day that Earth stood still, which came out only six years before he released his book. Oh yeah, so I know is it aliens or plagiarism? You know. Oh yeah, this guy looks like freaking Giero from from what we do in the shadows. No, he does trit looks like Germo does, oh no, so I don't know. Is He an alien enthusiast or a vampire? No, you decide, I guess once you vote in our discord. Let us know your thoughts. So anyways a metal band was started in two thousand and one in honor of valiant thor called valiant thor. I so the members are igitur demos or storm Thor Elden, thor and valiant himself. Is that what is called valiant himself yeah? That's his legal name, he changed it. A joke. People do that and valiant literally came to start the spell band. He came back and he said: Hey you guys, hey you guys. I got this great genre. Music. That's really blown up right now. I just think this is the answer of the world. No nukes and mash pits no necks and more metal, and so one of my favorite parts about it is the band our first show is in the Pentagon. Everybody in the band has names that there was a don Thora Jill Thoris, so they all based on name off of the war. It strangest was one of the guys, then there's a guy professor night wall. How big is this bad? This is an orchestra. Well, those are past members, so people have Rota Yeah. Someone goes for a while they're like Oh, no, you guys take this way too seriously. Really like. Oh, this isn't a joke. Yeah you tell me Laura is an howers are tour manager. This is going to be a nice. It's going to be rough yeah, so they they had a song in eas, skate back in the day and then they been on. They were on fantasy factory and guitar. Three, so Nolan Thor big deal. I guess I don't know man. I really wanted to believe this story. I didn't, I knew you were going to hate it. So that's the only reason I told you right. So that's value thor. Maybe who knows he could be up there watching over US yeah I mean the you know, because you got vow Ye Isy Howe, yeah, Nicky, Nicks, Yep and they're to sup there they're all aliens yeah. You know those six fingers on each hand really gives the ability to fit loff. Give just a little Etlingen last night is a production of space. Tim Media produced by Christian Taylor. Audio is edited by Alice. Garnett video by CONARE social media is run by Caleb Walker and graphic designed by Caleb Goldberg, our host or Jaren Myers and Tim Stone. Please follow us on social media at Tillin, podcast, that's till in podcast. Leave a review comment subscribe wherever you are. Thank you for listening to things on the last night. I


Valiant Thor is the subject of a truly unbelievable story. We mean it. Tim doesn’t even buy this one. Here’s the story. Valiant Thor, or Val as his friends called him, was a humanoid alien living in an apartment inside the Pentagon. Val had a tight-knit relationship with President Eisenhower and was passionate about ending the possibility of nuclear war. … Read More

Emperor Norton – The First and Only Emperor of The United States

10-19-21

Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey Man, what's up baby boy, you know why I did that. I Apologize. I say only you know when you talk to your pets too much like you have human interaction, yeah! That's where I was this week H and I call my girl friend, moved to the city this week. Yeah. I know we don't hangout hung out more when she lived in Los Angeles than we do now, rips off the Tuxedo right, there's a camera guy on the corner, we're going to put sauce on chicken nuggets for you guys, so you bought a shipload of rice when the world had no access to it and you built the throne out of the rice. I love the New World Order, a big fan and I would like it to be known by everyone that I think that there's one government that rules, the all things, sis and I know she's, going to come in at some point and grab. My can't do the that. So I kind of hope that she's in my apart r now so she can hear this. She bought a bunch of stuff on Amazon, put the wrong zip code. So all of her stuff is getting delivered to a house in Parkville that every and she didn't order it all at once. She never does she orders it one thing every day, yeah, instead of all at once, like a normal human being because in her brain this is how Reagan works right in her brain. She goes. I can't justify spending a hundred and fifty dollars yeah. I can spend thirty dollars a day for five days in a row. You know what I'm talking about, and it's just like dude. What are you just? Do it all at once, right, yeah, so guess who's got to go to Parkville every day to pick stuff up I mean it should be her. I agree, you know who it is, though, I've got a gets it to you, no s she's going and getting it today. I think, but we now she's becoming friends with the owner of this house and the Er just like. So what are you going to change your address on him was at the owners. Here's! What was weird the owner is like this isn't the first time it happened, and I we you have a very specific address. That's how well I mean not even very specific now that there's there's no non specific addresses. That's how this works. You know. So what do you mean? That would mean that the person who lived in Reagan's current apartment had to have also done. Also did this interesting anyone that seems intentional. All right, hey man, I'm ordering a bunch of stuff on Ames on and having it ship there on purpose. I'M gonna show up in the idea a similar address, not at all, not even close, not at all hey. We have never heard of the US mail service close. Have you ever heard of the Pony Express close? Have you ever heard of Emperor Norton? That's not at all anywhere near. I remember a Norton Yeah Yeah he's the guy who plays in fight club what a Morn Orton, who he was in the two thousand and eight hulk movie you're, going to love that joke. When you look it up, the two thousand and eight halts movie yeah, the not good one yeah so mark Ruffalo was emperor. Norton. Are you talking about Lou Ferrigno, not at all a er? What T S O Edward Orton there you go see was that good. That was worth it. If you weren't stupid, that was everyone else litsen this got it. You know I was like emperor and everyone else is like that's an Edward Norton joke. That's Pretty Faisait fight club people got it and you were like. Are you talking about loofs? I don't think he was in like not talking about Lu de Sonai. Don't follow celebrities enough to get your Pobul ture jokes and, let's start over Emperor Norton. His name is Joshua Abraham Norton. This feels like he can. I take a guess at who Emperor Norton is yes. She is he a guy and like Kentucky who owns a mountain, and he like has made this compound and he calls himself in Per Norton no better in. He was born in Eighteen, Eighteen, oh okay, so you're a real old one; okay and in s eighteen and fifty nine, he proclaimed himself norton the first emperor of the United States. Okay, this is kind of what I wanted. Yeah yeah, it's close. You got kind of a I wanted a guy like now to do it but yeah. I will settle on an eighteen eighte, you now O N Eighteen, fifty nine! Oh that's because he was born in a modern, almost yeah. So I don't know anything pre civil war is, you know? Is he the reason for the civil world? God? No, so Eber Norton? He was born in Eighteen, eighteen in England, I his family shortly after that moved to South Africa and then to well after his dad died. He moved to San Francisco. His parents were pretty wealthy, so he inherited forty one thousand dollars from his father after his father passed away and how much it was that now forty one thousand dollars in eighteen, forty yeah, it's a significant sum of money. I'll tell you that much for sure. So that's I mean whose life wouldn't be changed by forty one thousand dollars. You know, even today. Here's what I hate about that amount of money is. I can see Dave Rams on Fox News and like if forty one thousand dollars would change your life. Then you were, you know you were screwed to begin with, and it's like thank you. Seventeen million dollar house day ransy seventeen million dollars yeah forty. I found a nice little calculator hey. This is what is it is nice how much the things cost one thousand eight hundred and fifty nine com. Now it's official data, DOT, ORG, okay! So, according to official data that or forty one thousand and eighteen, forty is worth one point: two million today. Okay, so I mean a chunk yeah, he got. He got a small inheritance of a million dollars. I got a small inheritance of forty one thousand, so after you moved to San Francisco, he took his small inheritance yeah and made a successful living for himself in two fields, one as a commodities trader and one as a real estate speculator, and so you just bought houses and sold them and then again it's a real estate speculator. So basically you're like that seems like real Estan, that's vacation! I don't know your house seems full of speculation. What man he pulls it. Let me check my binder and see if this is a real home. You know oh my gosh, so he took that money. Yeah you could. If you got money, you can make money yeah! That's how Credo works. That's how that's how money works? Just in general, you have enough! You make a lot more, so he became very wealthy and pretty quickly rose through the links, the ranks in SANFRISCO business scene. I tried so hard. The more I thought don't live. It then same temor. I saw your face shrink into itself. Okay, so he became socially very prominent in San Francisco. A lot of business. People really looked up to him and a lot of a lot of political leaders really looked up to him because he was just winning and every way yea in the Eigen S, and he was he was a prominent roaring eighteen for the roaring S, and so he was the poster child of success. You know, but something happened. What screaming in our ears. Thank you. Something happened yeah. So there was a famine in China that the Chinese government said things are bad, we're not exporting anything. We need to keep it, so we don't know more bionicles. We can't keep taking on them out right now. There's a famine literally everywhere in the else in the world is playing with these wooden soldiers, like that I witals IC Ostis, aren't even invented they're steel by articles bionicles for ten dollars. What a steel I would speculate that is so China's not I don't know. I guess what I associate Chinese products with is just cheap stuff. Now, obviously, that's what the joke was, but what were they exporting at that time? So they were exporting rice and lots of it. Obviously, and so the price of rice was around five to six cents per pound and when they stopped exporting it, the value of rice world wide skyrocketed because crazy that every small town has a Chinese restaurant. Do you think that was part of like the government's plan to get rice out? THAT'S BIG RICE RIGHT! That's like that's like the big race. In the ring right I mean like every small town. Every small town in existence has a Chinese restaurant. I mean every town, every town has a Chinese restaurant yeah, but they also have got I restaurant we've got twelve. They also, I er. What other restaurants are re, saying that, for I mean her, not even per capita per block, I don't know you know, there's my small town now burning. We had two at one point: We had two and a food truck. Well, that's how that that's, how that works, because it's like everybody, immigrates to the big city and then they're like there's too much competition here and we I open the shop somewhere in seeing that that was part of big rice, you're, saying big RIS. Big Rice was like go to the small towns, get him hooked on Rice. I'm just saying I mean they. You men make a lot of opportunities to sell it. Here's the stats, according to the Chinese American Restaurant Association, there's all the societ. That's what I'm saying it's big enough that there's an association there are forty housed Chinese restaurants. In the S, the number is greater than all the McDonald's Kate CFCs, Pizza Huts, Taka Bells and Wendy's an I'm say in that's what I'm saying a lot of there's a lot of Chinese restaurants right yeah, which is great I'm all. I love their food yeah. I you know. I also love that it's not actual Chinese food. I love that they came here and they were like. Listen, let's make something that we're going to put sauce on chicken nuggets for you guys and sell and like because we're dons revolutionary they literally hated to us and they're like this is what we eat and we were like. This is foreign yea for super cheap. They got US good for real. They really did they really did they got US good, but I'm saying like there's a lot of them yeah. So you're saying there was some I'm saying there was the fear said by big rice. That was the joke. I was trying to make and then it turned into this whole like dude. There really are a lot of Chinese restaurants, okay, so the price skyrocketed of of rice from about five to six cents per pound to somewhere between forty and sixty cents. Oh my, but I there was a bubble on rice, yeah, so rice, all the SED EF became super valuable l have signs an say by Rice. You know there was a we got. Rice Bros out here, who are just like, as all they could talk about is like R, I'm just trading ryse all day. You know, I'm buying a pound here, sell a half a pound at night, keeping that a half pounds of next day sell it. What of the by the dip by the damp yeah? There was a rice market, that's great, no yeah, so Norton Joshua Norton. He had a contact in the shipping industry who told them that there was a ship load of Peruvian rice arriving in San Francisco and he trusted this guy. This guy, he blowed a shipload and he told them that this ship load of rice was the last load of rice from Peru. They were out of rice throughout a road and they're shipping into San Francisco and so Norton. He quickly runs and buys this entire ship load of rice for twelve cents, a pound. So a ton of money, something I mean how many pounds are on a ship I mean he bought. I think it was about eight or nine hundred mean I did buy a shipload of little caesars pizza. Once you know I was like a Palata pizza is not enough. You know, I need a barge we're goin ne to bring in the tug boat, so it was about eight hundred thousand dollars worth of rice. So a lot of money well, but he turns around and sells it for forty dollars a pound. That was the plan until the next day. A couple dozen more Peruvian ships of rice show up and then peruse like hey guys. We got a ton of rice who needs some, and so they saw some guy was just like: Hey man, they're out of rice and Peru yeah, and he was like I buy all the he did. I mean he was like you know: Selling Toilet Paper, a basic market place. He bought the debt. What E was was that there was a theoretical DEP happening, but it wasn't yeah, and so that's why- and this is important- there is a shortage of till an merchandise. Okay, it is there's not it's non existent. There's only last ship load, we've got a a the E got so load of till in merchandise that you can purchase solve that's a pound. We measure it by the pound. You can buy a buyer shirts by the Pat Yeah Holy. I went down to the dock today and I bought myself twenty six pounds till a t, shirt killing by the pound. You know that that is so funny to me. Is it so? I don't know I was going to try to make it by the pound joke like now by the pound, like B: u y the pound, you know how he goes. You can get us by the bat, so a bunch more ships came in and Norton was really mad because he was out because the pride is just standing over the ocean just like looking at them all rolling. You know they're Gutton Bein right, so he sitting on his now throne, made of rice but he's just like the right, I'm the rice, King Right, and so I'm the rice king, looking out over the ocean right. It's everybody across an fans coming to him with cups I like so can I have A. I have some rice he's like you're lucky I bought the last ship. I was seventy five cents, a pound, the like okay, they reach into their bag and they're like they all look like tiny, Tim Right and so they've all got crutches right. They all walked on crutches at that time and of like please, please, you know and he's dealing at rises and they turn around and there's just like. I mean it looks like a war movie that Wus like just ship they just rolling in as on this or some reason, they're like pirate ships, they've got the big like you know, sales and stuff yeah. Then he just he stands up because it's time for war, they don't even dock, they retell roll up on the shore. They started shooting, cannon loads of rain. They didn't prepare these ships for a round trip. All right. These ships are crashing into the shore right is just spilling all over into the ocean. It's actually expanding and becoming you know becoming its own Ilan t. This is why silent there wasn't San Francisco the peninsula. Wasn't there that's the rice and on top of it they built Alcatras is square. This is where we'll house or rice prisoners- oh my gosh yeah. So he lost a lot of money. The price. With about forty, what did I say, forty to sixty cents, a pound to four cents, a pound, so west of a re Dang, and so by the time he sold it. He lost hundreds of thousands of dollars. He was very mad, so he sued his contact and court for lying to him and lost that and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees ended up hundreds of thousands of legal fees in eighteen fifteen yeah, because he went really really hard trying to prove that this guy lie to him, but he lost so he lost all that money lost the money from the original deal ended up having to declare bankruptcy, the bank foreclosed on all of his properties and he just sort of disappeared over rice over a speculative rice. He was a real estate speculator, not a rice speculator. He got out of his market and he got out stayed in your lame stay in your Lane Morton, so he kind of disappeared off the face of the Earth for about ten years. There is one record in the middle of that ten year span where he was a juror in some case, so we got called for. Jury die. How long like about a ten year span where he just was disappeared? No one really knows what he was doing in this. She was a door yeah. He got called for Jerry duty and he he did that, and then he found him they'll serve you just wherever you're going to camp in the woods, hiding you're a disgraced rice flipper. We need another jer. What about that Rice King from a few years ago, hear me out right. I don't know why some people have tiny tim accents and some people are just like now hear me out right, that's what I s that Rice guy and like they all are anyway. So after about ten years in the late eighteen, fifteen fifty eight he comes back into San Francisco and starts kind of showing himself in public again, and everybody at this point is like they've: either forgot about him or his leg. I walk in the town was like everyone's going to notice me and people are like hi he's like yeah. It's me I was the rice guy in the were like excuse me. What yeah I mean it was me. I was like the you know, the botteney about a ship load or rises. You know and they're like I an welcome to o San Francisco. You know nobody remember this. At all yeah, so a lot of people didn't remember: Some people did, but he had a turn is reputation, so they won't do business with some people were like you're. That guy was setting that Rice throne yeah yeah. That was a throne of rice. You bought a shipload of rice when the world had no access to it and you built a throne out of the rice that was like seventy pounds of Ri gest it it's in the town circle we make fun of you museum. We actually have a once a year. We were Rice festival where we put someone, we put someone on the round and we bring them into the middle of the town and we brutally murder them. You know almost Mardarin, we don't kill people, but we almost murder Eh, it's you know the kids love it and I feel like it. We need to explain why that was so funny to me now now, yeah go ahead, an tell your little story, so I found out the other day that there's a place in Indonesia that has this festival once a year where on Easter- and this is what Jaren was joking about- this is going to sound, like I'm a really bad person. If you're saying I'm joking about this now, but go ahead every Easter, they replicate the crucifixion yeah, so they have some one build across and they carry it though the town square, I think, o about everyone dresses up like the Roman, emperors and stuff and then apparently allegedly speculatively. They select someone from the crowd and it's like a great honor to be crucified, and I mean they don't like they put some nails to their hands and they hang them up and they lift the cross. They don't put anything to their feet and then they let them hang there for a minute. They pull them down, they don't kill them, but they do sandals. I don't think eleve that that's what I'm saying like. I don't believe that that's real yeah, and so he made fun of it by once a year they put someone on the rice throne, take them to the town, they nail them the it is it's so like. I don't believe that I don't know you have to feed. You have to find some verifiable information on that yeah yeah. If you do we'll do a bonus episode about it, cool sounds good and it will be that clip that I just will just cut that clip right there or we could just go. Oh yeah, let's just try it. Let's see if we get selected, no, I'm gonna, that's what I'm saying I'm going to make. I may sure you can. I want to get tasted only the only step, only logical, step next to to write down the time stay. Just in case later you go. I don't know if I want to make a joke about. I want to get Mace, taste and possibly crucified. I don't know if you want that to be up. If you are fight with it I'll leave it in. You know we'll leave it in if you're fine with it. You know, but like I just don't know like do you want other jobs with me or a hat you can just anyways. So Norton comes back and for a couple of years he's becomes kind of like the the dude in town who is like the government, sucks it what they're doing, and I could do it better than them and he's just very loud about it and everyone's like oh here- comes Norton and he's GROMS doring in his political opinions, everybody just try to change the subject. Yeah everybody just pretend it's. You agree with him. It'll be faster. It's like Thanksgiving with your weird uncle every year were just got to be like yeah. That is crazy, yeah and he's like okay, but hear me out. Big Rice, okay is trying to take over the world and you're like yeah, okay, Uncle Tarry, that's pretty crazy! So so on September, seventeenth, eighteen, fifty nine. He takes matters into his own hands and he eighteen what eighteen, fifty nine September, seventeen eighteen, fifty nine. He dresses up in military regalia. So like an old like blue, like almost like, like civil war era, looking military suit yeah with the buttons and the Stripe on the pants and then he's wearing a like a raccoon hat, that's adorned with all these feathers like an explore or hat yeah. I can explore it, but it's a door with a bunch of feathers. So it looks like a mid summer now looks like a midwest summer, okay, and he stops into the San Francisco daily evening bulletin, like news, Ram, yeah and hands a letter to their editor dress like that yeah and any one is got a sure. He has a same. I just say what I picture is the capital riot guy. Well, I mean he's dressed a little bit more official like this guy. This guy looks like he's like. Oh this guy might actually maybe be somebody important y have a red ever like new sons are busy. Were those rooms are like and they're using typewriters T H, I don't Theron's on a macbook right, but they're other like t the typewriters yeah and the big printing machine. It's like a H, a I e and he walks in slowly just hear it all get quiet and everyone's like he just hears footsteps. Erst one person like that. ICAMENT s like a it's like whenever the Ice Queen Walks in from freaking bequerel, Inari, yeah yeah exactly actually and he walked in and just dramatically puts a paper on the thing this is I'm the emperor. What does it say while the editor reads his letter and says yeah we're publishing this later is like a. This is good all right, yeah, no notes great work, so so they put it in the paper and here's what it here's his letter. Here's what it reads: Oh Gosh, I goin to read the whole thing. Yeah Great. I says at the preemptory request and desire of the large majority of the citizens of these United States. I Joshua Morton, formerly of Algoa Bay, Cape of Good Hope and now for the last nine years and ten months past of San Francisco California declare and proclaim myself emperor of these United States and in virtue of the Authority, thereby in me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of these different states of the Union to assemble and musical hall of this city on the first day of February. Next, then, there then, and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the Union to as May aniliates the evils under which the country is laboring and thereby cause confidence to exist both at home and abroad, and our stability and Integrity Norton, emperor of the United States. I would like it I'm the editor right, I'm skimming it and I'm like all right. This is boring, boring but er first, okay, whenever I think that's superleague hold on, I I'm sorry, did you call yourself emperor of the United States and he's like yeah, I'm in yeah we're going to rush this to print now? Actually, yeah come e. This they ran it in that evening's edition, absolutely yeah. Absolutely! Yes, someone calls themselves emperor of the nation. You go okay, so that began his twenty one year, an where that song came from what Impervia Watir near, I think you're thinking of and she's a break back then teeth's made of rice because he bought a bunch and it's cheap to make bricks out of brick. Tutia is like yeah remer on to when you used to sing that song she's a brick house- and I was like I do not know the title of the Song Brick House. Well, I wasn't sure of brick houses terse me song. That goes. I can only imagine what is that one? What's that casting crown song, that's like in the Voice of truth. What is that one? What's how's that one was so on? Go with that Michael Jackson, Song, it's like yes, Trai can remember one word from it, but I don't know the title: What's that talking that goes, this is the national of them. I don't know that a lition know e. What Oh say, can you see Niwatori about? What's that song called it's the national anthem, pods the natural hand them what yeah so so, Morton spent his days walking around San Francisco patrolling the streets, making sure everything was clean and tidy. Checking the off the plaidlike lose his mind in theory or completelysound, and really does think that he's got the answers. Yeah. I think it's that and so he's like. Well in my country. We don't have this trash on the street yeah, so he put troll the street make sure everything was clean tidy. He would check it on police officers and make sure the uniforms were to snuff and they were like okay, like he's walking up to him and he's like straighting their backs and stuff and they're. Just like all right. It's got. I was I had a weird hat, I'm a weird, headed fellow and so, and then he would just engage in like public discourse with anybody who was interested. He would walk around and he would ask them like question you would so to score like what are you talking about us like conversations on politics and policy and just like random stuff? He would just like find someone and just converse with them about it: Yeah for a few years, views in the city's tax code and they're, like I'm just trying to get home. Well, here's where things got interesting, I'm glad you brought taxes, he would die taxes from people and they would give it to him why, at that time, if someone walks up to you in a uniform and a weird hat and just says you owe me this much in taxes, I would pay you just some right away. BUMMER! It's! The tax makes the tax man. What are you talking yeah? I hear if you say, tax man five times he shows up, you know, but like it's the tax man, I guess this is what text guy looks like is what taxes look like yeah, that was before Turbo test came on the scene. Jet Was the super he and who killed all the tax men, yeah turbo tax to text Turoa Superhero. In this scenario, good God I got here to kill the text, I'm gonna drop TV's on those those he's a tax vigilante is what he is so he's just collecting taxes and just pocketing that yeah yeah and then he starts actually passing some laws. So one of the laws he passed. Why can you? This is what I'm saying when I say like these are the Times that I miss. You know, because these are laws that actually passed. These are laws that he wrote and then stoll in the street, corned e said I hear by announce a new law and everyone there. Everyone present is just like all right. All right, cool new law, I listen up. litten upset is a new law. How many people live in San Francisco the time I think a lot, because I know well, I'm not going to say that that 'll be a spoiler. I know there was at least ten thousand people at his public murder, okay, Jeez O on man. I don't know if I population in San Francisco I like, but just go back to that body. No Nets go back to that back about eighteen, fifty nine com hold on. I found it so at this point in time I mean ball park it. It looks like it was about. Seventy thousand okay, I mean that's, that's still, you know, that's a good population or something like that, but that's the city itself, not the whole matcho right so anyway, so pretty good side city so yeah. He starts passing laws and to effect my favorite one being from that point forward, there'll be a twenty five larfin enforced for anyone who refers to San Francisco as Frisco, which was apparently a pretty common, like short hand for San Francisco at the time, and he was like no it's San friend Sisko and they were like yeah, but I mean you know it's like a R go. I pay up pay up twenty five dollars, so I was like a I'm not doing that. I'm not do I'm free. I'm can do. However, I want here in Frisco he's like now: It's fifty! No, you only fifty las yeah and so here's the thing it worked like his law, like San Franciscans, stopped calling at Frisco during his reign and now his reign. Why are we calling? It is raining the emperor you go make stuff up, because, literally to this day he see emperor o This Day until day, to this day, it's still in the book that, if you say fres no, but to this day, people in San Francisco apparently will not refuse to call it. Frisco he's the one who changed the tides on that, because he just I guess, didn't like it. So he passed a lot. So he was passing laws he created his own currency. Obviously I felt that WHA been step one. Yes, so he created his own currency, a be Frisco. We need a God, stop called the city of Frisco cause. I had the the rate for going here to love them and so the his dollars set on them the value and so ten dollar note from the imperial government of Norton so named it after himself. I are these any wore the existence to yeah. They do and they're actually very valuable. They sell on Tenenos now yeah, so very valuable, cal. That's what my contact said and I bought one and then the six ship lows of imperial notes came in. You know now they're worth like twelve cents. Yeah, that's crazy, eats a lot of money on imperial notes in IM, homeless and starting my own empire. Imperial notes is actually what my a Capella group was called him. So, but something happened. People he came became like a sort of a local celebrity and people like Oh there's, Emperor Norton, but they were like, but it was like they like made fun of them, but they were like. We like him, like Emperor Norton, he's such a good guy. You know. Oh, he was I not popular yeah. He does e people were people liked him. He was like a fun little quirky they're like yeah, we love the changes. He's made to San Franes were all catching the self and then one day a local police officer, arrest him for vagrancy, and that then, after talking to him for a few minutes, also gets a MON books. A on charges of lunacy, which interesting times in treason to the United States, government or whatever, and so the local newspaper who broke the story of him being emperor, get cat has win to it and I like Oh, we need to get this out of the people, and so they publish a story emperor nor a restless go again, but Emperor Norton, arrested and they're holding a trial for him and an agree. Mob Storms, the Court House and our deinias yeah are demanding the freedom of Emperor Norton. They estimate and the numbers are foggy, but somewhere between a thousand and five thousand people came demanding his freedom and the chief of police released, Emperor, Norton and release the Public Chief of Police Brings Emperor Norton in front of the mob and then also brings Barabas right of the crowd, and so which do you want, and the crowd chanted give us Pravis and, like you came here forever war you to know. In that story, your Barabbas was a Judah Smith message that was like is a big. That was how he went virole first time anyway. So so they so the two police releases him and release. A public apology is, like sorry, guys do know. Fusion had a weird hat also also puts in place of policy that officers from henceforth whenever they see Emperor Norton anywhere in San Francisco. They have to salute him. I make this right. How about this norder we're going to one they're going to salute you and they're going to give you twenty five bucks. You know that's a lot of money in this time, it's about equivalent to one point two million dollars, but I want to make sure what the so yeah that we're sorry for we're. Really we didn't know who we were dealing with with. He realize you with the emperor we didn realize you worth a rice, king, and so he gets released and it just sort of furthers his belief that he is the sovereign emperor of these United States, so he then began to sneeze. He then begins some diplomatic. That was a good one. Clearing out those nostrils go ahead. I hate you, you know what I've been doing every time. I sneeze, though involuntarily Reagan sneezes. Like eight times you, how do you sneeze I'll sneeze a couple times Reagan goes to when I sneeze I literally do I did that big one just because to be an idiot yeah, but, like I literally involuntarily, go you who almost every time like shocks you yeah, I'm scared of sneezes like terrifico to so so this sort of furthered, his belief that he was a sovereign emperor right. So he began some sort of diplomatic efforts. He was. I got to explain outside of San Francisco Yeah. Well, he began setting letters he became. Pin Pack is winded the civil war in the in S and is like you know, honestly. If they would just make the emperor I could put into this. I could end the war. Well, no, he he starts sending letters to Queen Victoria of the UK and to Napoleon like Napoleon Bonaparte, like Napoleon Yeah. I wasn't confused. I wasn't like you mean like that. Quirky won high schooler. What's he doing that for add to Comania the King of e? I don't Associate Napoleon as that same time area. That's crazy. He was I mean. I know he is but remember when I was talking about how like what time like when you think of the civil war yeah. How do you think about it? Yeah, that's what I mean like I just think like I don't know, got jumbled up with, because we learned American history and we were. We learned a world history, but we kind of learned them separate. They didn't really join together until the war fors yeah. You know it was like these are two totally different things right honestly, the same thing yeah honestly yeah I go out. A Polin was oh yeah, yeah, exactly hey, really exciting news October thirtieth and Kansas City Missouri, we were doing a tilling live show. Please get tickets there available right now until nom and we're going to have special guests, a live episode, Q and a bunch of stuff tim right now is researching. If we can get a monster truck there you're going to love it. If you were anywhere near Kansas City or you're able to get there, we want to see you there. So please go to the website. I am by those tickets because the spots are limited, so let's hang out and just keep making some amazing magic stuff together, fit off Huh. So when Napoleon invaded Mexico, Emperor Norton San Im a letter and then release a public statement denouncing Napoleon and declared himself the title of protector of Mexico and so Norton is like. I am the emperor of these United States in power of United States Mexico. I am the emperor of the United States and protector of Mexico and the rice king, and so he called on a bunch of generals to invade and stop it. But they didn't listen to him. They were like okay, they like yeah sure we'll do that. He actually he also disbanded Congress. At one point he he released a public statement saying that Congress is full of scoundrels and thieves and he hereby disbands it and he ordered a specific general he's like he's like I'm ordering you to March in the halls of Congress and arrest every last one of them, and they didn't do it. They published it in the paper, though I'll tell you that you Koilasu no one of the most interesting ones, the king of Hawaii Comah, which I'm pronouncing the Dragon Ball. Z pronunciation, not the real, because it's better that way, but coming on my heart, refused to recognize the US government as the leader of the United States. Instead, he recognized Emperor Norton. Why? What under what he was just the first one to send you a letter. I don't know they were, they became pen pals and they really hit it off. And- and it's like- I don't like your President- I, like your emperour president, doesn't remember my wife's name. You know, and I love your emperor- do he's like talking to people Washington DC and I like an art to the emperor and they were all like. Excuse me yeah. You know that guy has been ruling San Francisco for like half a score now and that's how they talked to the four score, and you know oh my gosh, but yeah. So what ended up being problematic for the Kem of Hawaii, because not long after that, the US would take it yeah as there s ye were like they're like call me, president he's like and he's like, I do you guys have an emperor and they're like do it or we'll. Take you over. Are Your us now I'll show you what a president looks like and they're like the like wow. This is a pretty emperor thing to do with you. Take them so so yeah, so he actually had some diplomatic efforts. What's interesting is he did publicly come up with some stuff that actually ended up happening? He didn't do it, but it did end up happening one of the things he bought for a lot. I was like we're going to go to the moon by the end of this next century, we're going to go to the moon, and he said that in one thousand eight hundred and sixty nine, we choose to do this and the other shoe to do this, not because they are easy, but because they are hard to show Napoleon well. Mexico will be protected as you way our moon canons all right e, all right. That's why the arrest of the lies he's like no. No, it's Lu, nursy nurse. You now understanding it. You know. Do you know anything about the moon, so he largely campaigned for a bridge to be built between Oakland and San Francisco, which happened there's a few of those Tay Bridge. He had nothing to do with it. He even he will. He specifically called for a suspension bridge, which is what it is, is pretty surprising. He's a t about a big red bridge. Hear me out, you know, but we call it golden say it's gold people from out of down. They won't see it. I've got just redny a rise, a build it out of, and so it's built out of rice going gave that a fog fact it's just fried rice. That's why it's gold Friday, it's FRI, Rice yeah! That's it not even on Color Fried Rice. How often are you eating orange, fried rice? Well, FRI rice gets a little ORANGY. It's got a little tinge to it. You put enough of it together. How about you walk out of a whatever Chinese restaurant? You were at go across the street to the other Chinese restaurant and get actually what that fan. I is like so another thing that he was campaigning for in his dip. You're eating FRY list is a that's rot and all his diplomatic engagements he was, he was arguing for a League of nations and he said we need to all team up and become a super nation which ended up at wormword. Go with the United Nations. The new war order than we yea order is yeah, and so, which were bad fans, is his idea. I love the new world order bag fan and I would like it to be known by everyone that I think that there is one government that rules them all. What's the government we are ruled by an emperor than we are protectors of Mexico, and so he actually later in his life, when he was already like established as this emperor everybody in Sanfrancisco like is a per nort. Let's give him some money, he also he also before we up into this. After after we got arrested, he became like famous famous in the city yeah to the point where he had reserved box seats at the local theater for free he could eat in pretty much any restaurant for free, like he was literally treated like realty, most most clothing stores, which was a Brefi for a while. You know really was all things to. I came out as pro vaccine. I Mos calling sores with outfit them for free. He, he he only wear his military, robes, yeah and and a lot of a lot of stores would accept his currency. Even if it wasn't from him like you could come into a store and pay with his money, an they boo, cool, sweet yeah. What if it is all worth like ten grand one day hold fellows they'd, be like like okay yeah. This is a bit. This will be forty six cents or twenty emperor notes. Well, IT'S CONVEEN! Well, let me see. What's in my wall, that's e L. my wife took my cash okay. Well, I got fifty emperor notes. Fifty emperor notes. I hide in my shoe for just an occasion so so yeah. So Latin his life: How old is he at this point? I don't know exactly how old he was when this this event happened, but your did happen in I don't know exactly okay. So there was a a long standing issue in San Francisco of racism towards Chinese immigrants, largely because of that embargo originally because a lot of people lost work during it and so there's a lot of racism. Oxis is your fault yeah, and so there was one day there was an angry mob. Coming on to a group of these Chinese imigrants like claiming they were going to kill them basically because they lost their jobs because of these people, but Emperor Norton just appears out of the crowd and stands between them and everybody just stops and just watch is he says: Let he who is boyness. I could you not. He takes off his hat and he stands between the crowd of the immigrants and he just recites the Lord's prayer, and when he finishes the prayer, he looks up and everybody still there. So then he just starts quoting random scriptures until eventually the crowd disbands, and then he tells the immigrants to go home. He turns out an he says: Where are your accusers go and send no more like, so we didn't send you're right. Actually, the Suraman, the like it's called friscoyou loser. He turns to hers like that'll, be twenty five. I just feel like. I, you know, drove the mob away, that's not a free service. You think I'm doing this in my spare time. You think I'm an emperor. My spare time I I just like I should deserve to pay to night yeah. Do you coach for Free Ted? I don't I don't guess I do, but would you yeah? Are they setting up an ark where they date? Is that what they're doing it looks like it like it Jinks, I think? Okay, so, okay, so Emperor Norton eventually dies when he was walking to. He was walking on the street one day and he just trip over a cobblestone. I don't know how the roads in San Francisco were he just collapsed. Luckily, there was an officer standing saluting him when it happened, and so the office was run. How long do I wait he's just an just like how like he's like he's like Sir I'm even the whole time is at doing CPA of one at he's, give one hand at CPR while like saluting him the whole time yeah. So he calls her carage dreaming to cause for carriage to pick them up to take him to hospital, but before the carriage can arrive, amper Norton Dyes were his last words. I actually don't know he's at this is messing up. My groove is that what he said. I imagine he goes what's that song, but that goes God bless America, that's, as has that. Can you sing it for how is that go? Do you know the title of that Song? To no hope, do you know which one I'm talking about? I don't would you just focus. I was trying to stall while you're doing whatever yeah. I don't. I don't. I can't find his his last worse, but the papers and Seres I don't care. The paper published that night with the headline front page, Lay Roy s mart, which is a made up language here really now. I dint O yeah. He was actually starting his own language to his own currency, starting his own language, but was it long live the emperor? No, it was the the king is dead. Is it really the king is dead and they had the article detailing what happened saying that Emperor Norton had died and they held this funeral two days later they discovered after he died. They wend was home. He had two coins to his name, a bunch of his made up money, but two coins to his name, and he had a bed and a night stand. That's all he had to his name, so he was clearly pretty poor. Despite having the access to everything in the city for free, so okay did his currency, then just to you know, evolve when he dies well. It became like a collector's item and so two dollar bill yeah. So so a bunch of the locals chipped in they did a girl. Fun Me to give him a a proper burial, as they got him a really really nice casket and they they held this. This big, this big funeral with the police there doing their little gun, salute and everything. Thirty thousand people showed up my Gosh, how okay to lay the emperor of the United States to rest, which was I mean at the time by half the city of San Francisco came. I am going to write a letter to mayor Q and say that I'm emperor of Kansas City, I'm serious, so we need to do a photo shoot with me in, like a crown like and like like robes, and all that so I mean like I look at me. I am the new emperor. I am I'm the captain now you know, like I'm serious, no tim, better, better, better. We email apple bees, I'm the emperor of Applebee's. Now the ample and a sole emperor. I stand in appleby's with this big school. That says my First Amendment to apple these, my apple bees amendment my amendment bess, my appleman, my bring back the Buffalo Sauce S, seasoning praise! God you go to literally every apple beace. I think I could we get the grass nigh to Clare. I declare myself emperor of Appleby's every single one you acted like this is like you're like this would be a funny idea, I'm telling you I'm doing it. Are you in or out do my vice emperor yeah, the VM v Yeah, I'm the rice vice that's right, maybe baby, which one of those Te Things Goin to die? First, I don't know man, you don't know, probably me. I agree, I think so too, when you're older, like in your s o when I'm old, okay, I dusare with that's fin. Well, I hope that you can pull off the sort of burial that emperor nor thirty thousand people show at that's, quick, that's what I'm saying like I mean yeah, that's crazy to just be able to be like bind the emperor of the nation if people are like Yep Yep cool cool man, I'm down for that. Hey! Welcome to San Francisco! There's there's the goal game. I cool bridge. We got great Sushi. This is Bandar of the United States. THAT'S OUR GUY! We love him a lot and there's a cool ice cream place down the corner. Actually, if you are now yeah, if he asks you for money, just go with it and I look at me. Look me in the e right now. Do you not say Sander? It comes I twenty five, as I heard it, rips off the Tuxedo right, there's a camera guy in the corner and he goes. He goes public discourse. Meanwhile, six place officers are standing right behind just the attitude on saluted. This is the dumbest evison we ever done. I is ARONA. TRY TO BE EMPEROR, not that I know of okay. I mean I could look into it. I'm sure so. WE'VE GOT IMPROVE NATION FRIEND OF HAWAII YEP protector of Mexico, inventor of Nort Nani virus fiddle or off of the devil. The things are done. That night is a production of space. Tim Media produced by Christian Taylor, audio by out Garnett video by conner bets, are graphics and Ar Logo by Caleb Goldberg and our social media is run by Kala backer. Our host are JERN myres and Tim Stone falls on your favorite social media platform. At tillin, podcast is till and podcast remember to tell all your friends about us and we'll see you next Tuesday for another episode of things I have on last night


We all remember the days sitting through history class learning about all the presidents in the short history of the United States. We learned all about each of these presidents and the things they did while in office. However, there’s a good chance you were not taught about the first and only Emperor of the United States. In 1859, Joshua … Read More

The Bomber Mafia – They Wanted to Make War Safer

10-12-21

Episode Transcription

Made for robots, by robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey Man, what's up God question for you is it have I ever heard of something? Yes wow! I no make this look pretty scripted. Have you ever heard of the bomber mafia, the bomber Mafa, a yeah? What is it just a bunch of Italians running around and bomber jackets, but is out here look bunch of a fashionable guys. The NELE is the Chaka Olive, green bomber, jackets and aviators, O Yep yeah, actually you're right on yeah dead on that's the Balmer. They look like one direction. What read direction I really want. The first photo to be just all of one direction: An bomer jackets and I'm praying to God. Lord make this happen, look up one direction and it's just them and bomber jacket. I can't find any body taking foes of anybody and if anybody were just go bomber wrong us about Bomer me Jack for checking and is as blue m one direction super old, apparently, but I've never seen them, but man they look old. I've never seen them. I've never seen. I couldn't tell you, I don't know what they here's a think, Google new, when I wrote boomer jackets. What I really meant, like you, don't want that. I I kill innocent people. I guess I need to take more evasive, reevers with my jokes. The bone get rid of it, so litter Cluvia, a theory that we've never formed here. We are. This is a real. His nicknames are war criminal things Amoma, the bomber mafia never heard of it. So this was a group of Mafias from what Mafia's Maffy Yats. Well, I mean that's. What you call of your Ma is what you call a group of Menonites who go and Cap People's knees. Oh mid nights. I didn't know that Mafa Nights. No, so these people, they were part of the Air Corps Technical School in the United States of Amer, Barber Matia, a bunch of mobs the chew up bombs. It's explosive moth man yeah here are our nukes here are our fake mokes and those are moth balls to really make sure that the moths don't get to either of them. Yeah the Bober Mafia they'll take him down his bunch of mobs yeah. We got a problem with that anywhere. You can bombs got to watch out for the mock. All the Queen Mother, mater mother, May I atsion mother. May I oh my gosh mother? May I all right anywar of all bombs, so here here's the thing the Botmar was started at the air core technical school. He is shrugged also known as axe, has nothing to do with the book of acts or or a body spray or the body spray. Yeah has nothing to do with you that here's what never mind so in the t is sometime between the twenty six and twenty nine. That was like the formative years. I okay, the twenty sixth year of the nineteen hundred, and so this was an interesting phase, because during World War One things were bad terrible war. People were just slaughtered in mass all throughout Wold War Wat and they call it the war a in all wars, not because they thought Oh, no one's going to fight again after this, but because they thought that after this war we're going to realize this is bad and figure out a better way to do this. We in the future know that's not wot, it got works really loved. You rises optimism, though. In the night in the twenty sixth, you know, year of the nineteen hundreds, the BOMMERA IA said. Okay, maybe that maybe we have a way. Maybe we have an answer, and so the Bar Mafia, the bomber mafia, to put to paint the picture at this point in time there was no air force. Ah that was the aroma. Didn't exist, yeah they did. There was an army. I am a theory that we've never flown now hear me out. This is a real okay. Every time I want a plane, I'm like there's no way we're in the AIRR right now. This is really it's. A Bu is a real fun. Had I'm not joking. This is a real thought. I've had where, like I'm just like, I feel like they're, just messing with me like we are the plane. It's like those rides at Disney World Bro. Are you listening to me right now, because I'm telling you the truth? Okay, I'm telling you. I am a plain truth. Er, okay and I am, I literally sit on the southwest flight and I feel it go. There's just a kid outside. Sometimes it's a y o like there's, no way we're in the air right now. This is fake. You know saying what you can't open the door. You can't open the window to prove it's on a green pine. I mean, I guess you can't say for sure: It's not your right, yeah! It's also you yeah. I mean what are you going to ask a pilot you're going to ask the people who profit off the green screen, the greeds g? How do as yourself and he stand bus to benefit from this? He here's what you really need to ask yourself. Green screen. Businesses have been in business for years. How many people are buying Greens cranes, not many just how many Hollywood people and a couple youtubes, that's not enough to sustain a whole business. That's right! There's got on in a lot of planes, Selta southwest American Airlines spirit and the phenomenal thing about the that's. My far flights you shouldn't open the windows because, like their Gi, is not as great a that's good yeah, that's the phenomenal thing about their green screens. Is You don't need post production with their green screens? They work immediately, they're, just green, you open the window and you don't have to run it through a software or anything. It's just visually whatever you want it to be. It's it's like an led, but I feel is a mime and I'm not actually coming to you saying that I don't think planes are ve. I really sometimes have legitimately thought what, if this is all made up, I mean it could be. It could be okay. So anyway, I think no mafia, a Mafia thank lanes are in planes were real in this scenario in this universe, in this cinematic universe e, if I make a documentary about it, it's going to be called the wrong brothers. Okay, so names aren't real planes are real in this universe. I saw one flying today. This is thought I had this morning. I saw one flying today and I was like the there's no way. What do you think? That's like a R R C car. I saw just that and I was like it, its South West in the side and everything I like there is no way, that's real, that's fake. So what do you think is just an R C car fly? I think I were in my brain playing. Oh my God. I think I think it's all a dude, I'm not joking with. Sometimes I'm like this is all made up. Yeah. Well, that's great! Hopefully we have time to get our second episode, because this will be perfect. I was like that. Plane is synthetic media. I know it right now. I know that it's made up okay, so so here's the es the pig you have to suspend your disbelief for a second and just believe interesting. That planes are real. This is what I mean as what I mean is that eels with viral on the rest of the Internet and the people found our podcast yes and the first five minutes of that podcast is atrocious. Yes, it is US doing this. Yeah and I'm wondering, are people going to find this episode, because I and I'm so sorry for you isn't trying to steer as that kid yeah, but it's is futile, as the pilots on south was because it's all made off in okay, okay, so here's the thing you have to suspend your disbelief for a moment and just except the fact that planes existed at this point in time right, but the air force on whatever you want, the the Air Force did not. The Air Force did not exist. Okay, so at that time the army just had an arsenal of planes that would use to support ground troops on stuff. So what these people propose is they said: Hey, we see a future where the ground troops are not necessary. It's all air combat, yeah, and so what they proposed is that they basically propose an early form of stratea strategic air strikes probably heard of this. But the idea is you bomb the most important assets your enemy has and that's it to wipe them all to wipe them out. So they had a speech in the early ties where they said. If we were to go to war with Germany, but a little bit of for basically just war, we are like what are we hit good targets instead of bad worms? Okay, no! No! No! No! This was a revolutionary idea at the time, because the time okay bombers were really used and if they Weis it was just. I do me anyway, you had to go through all the front lines you had to go through. Yes, if they had a bigger infantry than you than that was it yeah and all they would really do is they would just fly over the battle and just drop a bunch of bombs on the other side of the battlefield they want it. There was no strategy to the bombers. It was just a support technique right these people. It was a new idea. It was hey, we're going to hit the important things, and so they had a speech in the thirties where they said hey, we think twelve bombs could end a war. They said we think if we got to, we went to war with Germany and they said of Germany dropped twelve bombs in the right spot. It would in the war, so their theory was. They basically laid out this whole strategy where they said. If, if Germany were fly to New York City and drop bombs and destroy all the bridges and the aqueducts, they said, we'd be done in a matter of days, because the city, the people on Manhattan, would have no way out of Manhattan, and they would have no way to get water and it would be absolute peninnis immediately, and so they said, basically, the US would have no ability to run any of the factories or any of the war time. Industry that comes out of Manhattan would be completely halted because of the disaster there and to be able to effectively solve that issue. They would have to not be worried about a war, so they would have to surrender to so what you're saying is this group came to the government? It was like hey guys. We should like try harder. You know. Maybe we should think through what we're doing here, because right now, you all just like Hoare, just scattering bombs like you're the flower girl, a more one wedding, all right. There's no strategy here well, World War. One was over and they said, let's take some notes from more ware, one in case there's a sequel right and, I said say we go to war with. I don't know Germany. WHAT'S S we go to World War to what are we goin to call it ultimate? So we go to a greater war, all right ultimate war, kongs revenge, and let's say we. I just think we should try some different things. Yeah. The idea was to be a little more moral, because before vomers would just whatever and if somebody was in the path, the bomber us good, you hammer bummer, but these people were like. Let's, instead make sure the bombers hit only strategic targets, so it limits casualties, so you're only killing people who are at that target you're, not killing civilians, you're, hopefully not kidding civilians you're, hopefully not even killing infantry you're, just destroying the target you that would cripple that military's ability to function. So it's an interesting idea. The problem was, it was about a hundred years ahead of its time, we're still not even great at this. It requires a lot of intelligence. To do that, though, yeah you need to know where the sound that, like intelligence, is like be smart brains, yeah yeah, I mean like you got to know where the things are you've got a. You also probably do need some intelligence. Well, that's that's where the issue kind of came in is everyone was just is Pintin six year of one thousand nine hundred a hundred those people were, and it was like a record to say it idiots. They were historically really dumb historic more it was. It was the most historic stupidity. The world, as ever you were listening to like my grandfather, who is like old and like old. Now was born in on one thousand nine hundred and Twenty Six thousand nine hundred twenty nine era, and I want you to know your GRANDPA. Is a history dumb? That's just real! Just that's certifiable! You can't refute that. It's it's proven. The most dumb people came out of those years, so bummer anyways boomer bomber boomer. So so the issue was at that point in time. Honestly, up until recently, we didn't have the technology to effectively say this is our target. That's what we're going to hit right, because a few things when you're flying over a target in the sky in a plane, theoretical planes work if points are real, plays a real theoretically Oge with you in the famous there's a lot of things that it's not like. Shooting a gun where you just kind of aim and like you, have to calculate bullet drop and win a little bit but you're not at distance is enough. Where that's going to make that much of a difference with bombers, they actually had to do like actual calculations before dropping the bomb to figure out where that bottom was going to land, because you have to take it at the height the Ausit there at the wind actually plays a very large effect, because it could move that, of course, atmospheric pressure. Same plays a very large effect could move it. Of course, the speed that you're flying at plays a big factor, so it can move it off Coursei. I so there's all these different factors, a lot of which were pretty hard to plan for like they would just be present at the moment of the drop that you would have to all of a sudden. Do your calculation for and so constantly, but were bombs everywhere, yeah bombers, it was hard to hit a target. Well, I mean what episode we talk about their like underneath golden corrals, yeah yeah, I mean because we actually drop bombs. We don't know where they're going. We have no idea where they're gone, it's Sheis a lot like you know and if you're a parent listening. This is for you, it's kind of like hey, listen, you can raise your kid and teach them right from wrong and do all the right things, but I mean the pressure. The Wind, you don't know where your kids going to end up. This has been youth pastor moments. What's the moral of that the moral is hey? You know we turn a micromanage. Second, no matter what your kids Goin to kill innocent people either way. You know, that's the moral, your kids, Goin, Ta, gonna, Destroy Civilizations, so either way the BIB was saying, as I know, your parents listen to it. I go guys. This is not your fault, like you did the best you you. There was a lot of other factors. You know, that's not your fault! Oh my Gosh, okay, Sim Terry! You got that great. You did your job. He really mess it up. Hey, really exciting news October thirtieth and Kansas City Missouri, we were doing a tilling live show. Please get tickets they're available right now until oncome and we're going to have special guests, a live episode, Q and a bunch of stuff tim right now is researching. If we can get a monster truck there, you're going to love it if you were anywhere near Kansas City or you're able to get there, we want to see you there. So please go to the website. I am by those tickets because the spots are limited, so let's hang out and just keep making some amazing magic stuff together, fito Huh, so the Babe Mafia. They were trying to propose this new way to do war. That was going to hopefully be more humane, okay, but it was not actually possible at the time, and so all the other generals were basically like barber, mafia, just basically air force, but it hadn't been established. Yet so it's the Air Corps. It's a group of people like higher, like a third party like a you doing, government, no, not at all it is it's. They are part of the Air Corps Technical School. So these are the people who are teaching the pilots for the army yeah. So it's air force, but it hasn't been established. Yet I sort of these it's a select group within the unestablished Air Force, so not the whole people who ran the air core school. Oh they're, like the blue angels, that do all the air stunts, yeah sure Oso. The army was like we're not going to do that. This is stupid. He the army, is like this is never going to work. We're not going to do it. War works the way. We've always done it, and so we're going to keep doing that. Basically, oh no. We know how to war, and so so so, basically, the bottom mafia kept theorizing, better ways to do war and it all with their bombers and kept trying to do like these. They were doing these Ted talks before Ted, and so oh, I can't make silly jokes, but you can. Oh, my God. This is Tim! SILLY JOKE HOUR! Oh okay, see we don't do any bits. I can see it your eyes anyway. I over here yeah just get out of here for a little bit, keep teaching. So they are. They kit doing their ten talks, but the army's town interested and then Paul Harbor happens and all of a sudden, the army was like: Hey, hey, Matamata Barmera. That works pretty well we're kind of surprised, wow. He good idea. You guys brought us like fifteen years ago. They did it to us. Yeah wish you didn't put those all over Youtube. HESSET NUMBER ONE! You guys happen to like text, anybody else about that or tell anybody else that ID. Where did that? No, why? Oh, just you know just wondering just curious about that anyway, we gotta go gotta get out of here. I think we got to get involved in a greater war. There's another there's a another wall. This is the big one. IT'S A it's! It'll it'll end all wars. You know what twelve spots should we go to if you were to come up with just twelve targets, s twelve, just theoretical places, I just off the top of your head. Would you list point to them on this map? Treat this like a fantasy football team? You Got Twelve slots and we got a bomb all of them all right. Just point to the ones you want anyway, now they've got a little freedom, but now they're just allowed to just bomb whatever they want, so they make these people generals. You come to me in the night of the Pearl, harbor t the Bamean back petting their cat or whatever. I never seen that I've never seen. Is that that's not scar face. That's, I think it's scarface, no Godfather, Oh yeah, that's yeah, yeah anyways yeah. We may be his car faces anyway. Sorry movie buffs, I likes Hotty Bombala, we don't know yeah real movies. You think I've got seven hours to watch the Godfather, no, no hot, even bloody one hour. You're done is better, so they take this guy, his name's Major General Hayward S, Hansel junior his part, that's his Botham sits destined any during the military and it was pretty Dira that worked out great rig. There we go lieutenant major general is his nickname, was possum of that and so he's a real yeah is doing. What are you going to do to Tokiyo know? I don't know. I was already weird names of your high school there's, a guy at our had called name Biscuit: Oh yeah, that's rough ehe was cool by everyone, loved biscuit, yeah, Really Cool Ay! There's a couple I can think of. But I can't say my loud: We went to a Christian School Jim Terry again. Now your fault, you see, I'm saying you guys did fine, then you send to a Lutheran School, and that was where the the barometric pressure change. You know, okay, so he becomes a general possum and yeah possum becomes a dinner on impostumations. Let's do some Babara stuff and so they're like bomber Mafias, here's my chance, and so he goes and he tries to be a bomber mof fee, yeah, yeah, Babaa Ballamaha, that's and he fails big time because, like we said before, the technology wasn't there yet, and so he tried to hit these. He was like here's we're going to hit first Cleveland and they like not so he's like. Oh sorry, we've only planned what would happen if if the atome attacked US yeah yea your at every bridge in New York, no Posso, you think they address. It was possible. You think ye on the for presence superior. It was a present of the time I don't know hold on. Oh, we know this truman. No! No! Yes, World War, two wow! I am embarrassed right now. You should be most serious Wilson. No, he was Roosevelt, Roosevelt and Treman Yeah Yeah Roosevelt was the first Chuan was the second Binono a fill of Roosevelt Roseville. If you now it was like and he was like hello, possum or, however, he talked and possum was like thanks for using my prononce pots, Ethelisa the respect. I respect. He was really progressive honestly there. Yet he was like. Is this a new deal yeah, so Hansel hits no sorry. POSSUM hits. No targets literally goes on a fish fluid out there, N N N, no o his team goes out and every target he had orchestrated misses and some of them actually ended up being a problem because there was like civilian casualties from the miss and so possum gets fired. He was like a seven, they were like Miss M, yeah, okay, and so he gets fired and he gets replaced by another guy in in the bomber mafia yeah, and his name is major general saying, first name crazy, Major General, warm Curtis, Emerson Le Me, and so this is a famous general and it's because he did what, because he did it yeah, he pulled it off. Awesome got forgotten, YEP forget the possum. Let's see, does he have a nice something Lama yeah his nicknames are war criminal, it's crazy him and George Bush. I know his tic Babes are actually pretty they're on the same, it's plain so the the most tame nick name, as is the big cigar, but he has to be I that one I like big cigar, that's good. His others are old iron, pants, okay and then the demon and a moms away, Lema Bomor, that's a good one, yeah! So yeah, that's a that's General Chris Iron Pants over there is even mean I don't know so, iron pants. He comes in a more and he's like he's part of the bottom o Mapia. So he believes in the possibility of this just war yeah, but he comes after the failure of handsel and he says okay, how can we do this better and he realizes he says. If I don't do this right, I'm going to get fired because that's what happened to possum yeah, and so he says, and also they won't use. This tactic anymore, yeah that and so he's like he's like we got to get this right and so what he says is he tells his bombers, here's what he's what would happen in a bombing run, all the bombers would fly in and they would be seen from the ground and anti air. GRUNDS will start shooting at him to just so. My this guy, obviously, and so all the bombers, would take a vase of maneuvers and till they got right over their target and then they would fly straight drop the bomb and then take a vase of minivers and get out of there. What General Curtis Lama said is he did the math and he's like. So if this is the area of sky that we have over a boding run and we fly in and there are x amount of artillery guns that fire at this speed you have- and I think it was like a one and a three hundred and sixty one per or one three hundred sixty one shots are going to land, and so he said, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that you're not going to get hit. So he instructs his team to not street yeah he's like don't take a vase. Maneuvers just fly through it because you're probably not going to get hit and everyone's like. I don't know about that. Oh bold, ired, pants they're, like this sounds so lirons. I'm definitely still going to try to dodge yeah. They like you could do it he's like. Okay, and so he does, it he's like all fights at a play: Iron Pants right there, Oly, crap, okay, and so he that guy does not care at all. He takes the lead plane. He takes the first play they're all like we have a wife and kids and he's like yeah I'd left mine for this he's like don't you have any honor it's so he takes the lead plane and they go and they didn't take a single hit and they realized. Oh, my Gosh, you actually stand a better chance in these bombing runs. If you don't take a vase of maneuvers, then you do for Tin. Not You UMILIATI, though, for the people on the ground, with the entire tracking I mean like so I mean for your whole war experience. You get his planes coming in they're like squirly and done and you're like right here like yeah. We couldn't get them because they just queer kid. He a you know they were evasive in their maneuvers. You know you call it that! That's! Why that's why we couldn't hit them? Sir, and then the next day they come in just straight on yeah and you're, just like we, these things aren't real. I was getting there, you tinges, I'm tired, you, I I'm a tie. I guess I need to take more evasive, maneuvers with my jokes, because you just shot my punch line right out of the sky there. Didn't you hear pretend I didn't do it? Oh, it doesn't work so and they actually had some success. They hit their target, they didn't take any casualties and everyone was like hey, think, O Bomsey landed safely at home and all the other pilots were home with their families and he sat there and was like. Maybe this was the greatest sacrifice all along because he went home alone. You Know Yep Yep, it's a hallmark movie in the in the mid caking yeah. We may realizes that he needs a love yeah. He has a they put out a Christmas movie and it's called Lameen a manger and he was the Savior in the in the show. That's everyone's like hey big cigar. This worked out really great. You should keep doing that, and so it's the twelve bobs of Christmas, we farm of Cristmas. We hit that bridge and water duck, so the military ones back to Le Maine says: Hey good job. Do it again, and so he does and tries to convince his team to do again and they're still has in it. It did not in the war. Here's a thing I was like Leerin, the portless are going to be over and they were like. Not Do it again. Here's a thing at this point: they didn't trust them enough to do like the big targets you know, so it wasn't like a it wasn't like they were still hesitant the military's like hey, they did a, they did a Pearl Harbor and that was crazy and they were like we're still like HMM, and so it's like we should use the bombers, but we're not going to do what you said like just we're just going to bomb some stuff, but like not like you as to yeah and so basically was kind of like prove it prove it's worth it sure. So they kept bombing stuff and Le Mai kept LE, find the lead plane and then take any catalte. They kept hitting targets, and I was working really well as the Red Bay room at him. I don't know, I actually am not sure he's got a quid pizza yeah, but the Red Baron is a character and everything yeah. His name is man, Fred Van Rectefy, oh he's not for the right team, yeah he's from Prussia and it looks like resort one. No, I mean Prussia. There's another place called Prussia to that. It's not true: It's yeah, okay, that's probably the plane. Conspiracy, okay, conspirated, I'm pretty sure Prussia was like pretty German, like they were the German at the make sense they were pre. Russia. I think so, is that what you're trying to say no were Russia was a also there. It was a different place. Is Pro were like Cruin, Aru, okay, two different things, sure o Perua. So what if, instead of New York, we call it Free York, Pre York, I like that now the old woman be old, one wot pretty ar yeah yeah or preyor pet. You Work Yeah Yeah and we go over to pre navy. He got great deals a go ahead. We should cut all this, so just cos start over Godau heard of pomper of you. I don't know. I feel weird today so Curtis Le Me Yeah during this whole liar pants during the bomb man runs. He starts to kind of have a little bit of a change of heart because you start to make outing. He starts interacting with the Royal British Air Guard in the British Air Guard. Meanwhile, has been doing. These crazy bombing runs. All throughout the acts of powers where they are literally just flying over cities in the idle of the night and just dropping thousands of bombs in two civilian cities and their their philosophy was you just have the crisly destroy everything until they say where we've had enough and Le May starts interacting with these people more and more, and he starts kind of adopting their philosophy yeah and he's seeing the success that they're having he saying. Maybe that's the better strategy, because the kill as many people he's like. Maybe we just need more destruction to get them to say, okay, so originally his idea was how do we do this and not kill as many people yeah? And then he a couple o people and he we killed everybody. It's pretty accurate, actually, that's pretty close to what happened, and so him and Hansel out of falling out him and the possum had a falling yeah because possum as like hey the goal was to not kill that many people awesome: okay, Hey hey old iron pans. How Y? U H W Y? How you doing I'm good? How are you possum? I'm all right? I've just been I've, been hearing a lot of reports about the war effort, big cigar and I'm just a little nervous about your strategy. Lately Yeah. It feels like feels like everything we thought for you know in our Ted talks. It seems like you're, forgetting the why you know we read that book, the other guy that did the Simon Cenac you're, forgetting. Why are we here? What is we are supposed to say, question Possum, which one of us has a job right now m. This is straight up out of about s movie, I'm just gonna do whatever I got to do and why don't you go back to where you work now old, Baby, pre, Mate Carl senior? How you work now, Huh! Won't you go by to flipping burgers a call senior all right, I'm gonna go back and just start bombing, kids yeah an anywhere you want to see bomb. I can do it. You point to it. You know, but I say O my favorite game is lately but see that you shap over there to a dark. Take it just just wherever Lance Bumin it blowing it up on the boy get rid of it, see you later Clevi, don't even care how to say it any more. Have you or a love one been diagnosed with too many advertisements during the till in podcast? Have we got good news for you? Our patrons enjoy, add free experience and they get early access to content behind the scene, stuff, exclusive merchandise and access to a private discord channel. We we all are in it our producers and the hosts. So if you'd like to be a patron today and solve that problem, why don't you text till in to six sixty eight six six? So he starts doing carpet bombing, which is is exactly what it sounds like you, roll out a carpet of bombs that just destroys everything in is bath, no, no real care or idea of what you're hitting you're. Just like here's, an area, that's controlled by the enemy. Let it go! It's like stuff, like an Easter egg drop, yes out of Trendy Church, they fly a helicopter over exactly. They drop all those eggs yeah, except for explosive with these land like that really and the crazy guys why helicopters are, I don't care you know and like they only had him do it, because they were hoping to invite him to church because they were like we gonna get through to see. You know he's going to get saved out of this, so so yeah, so he is starting to Tino change philosophies going down the road. What part O o o O it's kind of like a rock star, like you know, he's just about that life he got yea before he got into it. He's like he's like I'd, be different tration for a sweet leather. One he's like I wouldn't be like the rest of them now is anywhere. What year is this? Nineteen, it's the height of world war to so early S, yeah early S, t somewhere in that that no we titting bombed Pearl Harbor than I think forty one hyeah. Let me teach so so. This is like forty two forty three, yes, something Kerit and now he's like up there. Just like leather jacket. You know I was going to say: Greece hasn't come out yet you know it's not that style stuff yet, but you know he's out there just like yeah we're just bombing everything: Bonci Barme, Bom, Boma, Bomano Boma, don't turn that plane, you like do want you twist it instead of but it so much he's just like people who omit Farmin bar. No, we anethe pullet pull saying, but you keep losing it all. Your di is bopping, pull it twist. It pull it twist. It bamet murder, everywhere, Barman pull it. Can you adjust the audio in those? I would love to just have a custom poppin. You know, stop it pop. It just have a bombed, real serious. He serious, really, music stops like that background. Like it like sounds it. It goes bar bar o. So yes, that's what curtis did or children's to he got. He got real obsessed with bombing it yeah and meanwhile there was a couple projects going on one of them. You probably heard of the Manhattan project, which is the project that built the nuclear bombs. Yes, Curtis was involved with that, but what he was involved with is there is a group of chemists who were developing what would later be known as Napalm, which he was like. I freaking love that idea yeah, which at the time were called fire bombs. So if you don't know what Ay Palm is, I'm surprised, here's the concept. Basically, it's a bomb, that's full that is like a shell and inside of it there's a sat cloth and that sat coth is full of this jell and the Jell is really really sticky. So, whatever it hits it's going to stick to skin buildings ground, it's not moving once it hits that and the bomb basically is like a Malto cocktail. So second, it hits the ground there's a few that ignites that sat cloth, which is nights the Jell and then that jails just going to stick to anything and just burn perpetually, very, very intense and burns very, very hot and burns very, very slow where, like gasoline, would burn, really really quick and be gone. A Palm Burns very, very slow, and so it was a pretty big discovery of the time and there were immediately questions on whether or not it was ethical to be cases as like what is ethics anymore? So what you mean? That's a go. We're at war, yeah he's it over in the corner. He just like bombet and they're like yeah, but I mean like that's pretty he's like just do it do it, so he organizes a mission. This is after victory and your up day so you're the European front is over. But, as you know, Japan was still a war front and Japan was still warring yeah, they were still warring and there was a belief that the Japanese military was never going to stop until they took over the entire Pacific. They were going island to island just in and hopping taking over islands. There's this belief that we were never going to get them to be able to surrender and that's eventually what led to the bombings of Hiroshima Nagasaki. But what a lot of people don't know about is what happened before here. See Man, Nagasaki, Curtis Lemay was a part of a team who built this strategy to fire bomb or Naponee pretty much all of Japan, and I started with the fire bombing of Tokyo, which he in planning this mission. He do you think humanity is going to end in a nuclear war, because things like that where someone is like, let's just do that to the whole county. Before hearing this story, I probably would have said now. I probably would have been like people understand the ramifications of doing something like that yeah and then hearing the so major generals of the world. I don't know yeah, I think it's there's all iron pans now that I know I've heard this story I'm like. Maybe maybe we would because here's what Curtis said is what Kirti said well be stanning, while planning this this strategy. Here he said: If we don't win this war, we will all be tried as war criminals, that's true, and so because he knew what they were doing was about to be pretty artie. You ther going to win or be conquered. I guess yeah, and so on the evening of March. Nine Thousan hundred a D firty five, the US Air Force, brought in two hundred and seventy nine Boeing by twenty nine super fortresses over Tokyo g and they dropped on. Let me let me get this number right. I don't want to give you the wrong number. They flew into Tokyo and they dropped. I can't find it oh here it is, I know, that's each each bomber, so each bomber dropped throw here to six tons of Napanee of those two hundred and thirty bombers, copped three point: six tons of NAO like seven hundred tons of Nebo into Tokyo, yeah, here's the thing, here's, the thing, Tokyo and all of Japan at the time their city, their cities were laid out in a way, and this is why they chose Napole. For this. Their cities were built almost entirely out of wood. They were all these wooden buildings and they were very closely packed together, as they said, if we could ignite a couple of these buildings or take all of them. They're all burning, they're, too close it'd be like a force fire of city, but just in case we're going to drop an insane amount of bombs anyways and they were there all the napalm bombs. They were all going to burn really really quickly, and so all through the night pretty much they dropped these bombs on Tokyo, the Nepomue by the end of the night. In a six hour period, estimates say that there was about ninety thousand Japanese people who were killed and over one million were left homeless. They flattened Tokyo, they burned it to the ground, literally the whole city, and since then, historians have estimer pretty certain that this was the largest loss of human life in a six hour period ever and then the US military said: Let's just keep doing it, and so they went, and they did this to literally. I could you not every cityy in Japan, except for Nagasaki and her Shema and when they had it surrendered, they noked those two cities, so ike, the US military literally obliterated every city like burned every city in Japan to the ground and then nuke to the last two, and it was all it all stand from big cigar. Who initially was for a second. I forgot that was his nickname and I was like wow cigar companies. That's what big TONACA over her as I go over here is trying to flat in Japan, and I was like Oh yeah, because he was just like bomb it exactly, and it's really interesting. I mean it's hard to. I mean at this point like looking back in history. You go wow, that's aggressor, yeah, you know yeah and you don't want to be like well, they could have made different decisions, but also they probably could have here's what's interesting about it. And here's why I sat. I changed my mind about a nuclear war. I think there is something there's a real phenomena called the fog of war, you that clouds, your vision and clouds of decisions that you make and Lemay, I think, is the perfect example of that, because he was a guy at the beginning of the war. Where he's like. How can we do this and have the least amount of casualties of positive and just civil name, but literally soldiers like he wanted to protect as many enemy soldiers as possible as well and got to the point where literally he was responsible for the largest loss of human life in history in a six hour period, and even to the fact where, if you look at his bombing run career the amount of people he killed through his bombing run career, he is up there at the only people in history who had kill, who had been responsible for more death than he are pitle Stalin and I think that's it and because of his Bottin runs, there's a rumor. I don't know if this is true, but there's a rumor that in the middle of the war he got pulled over for speeding and the officer said, sir, you could have killed some one and he says he said I kill people every night ye so but but let's say that that was a line in a serial killer movie. That's pretty freaking cool. It's a good lack, that's a good line. I kill people every night I culled. The officer was like excess me. What I'm sorry? What did you say and he's like fly straight he's like do you know? Who I am? Do you call me iron pans these pants or what? If you just told someone like they call me iron pants, you can't you got to walk away from them. ERS! You can't be like okay, okay, yeah, I'm gonna I gotta get out of here. I have somewhere. I got a o people extatick, that's so aggressive, it's very aggressive yeah. So I very clearly just tis likes interesting that he became more. That way I mean, I guess, if you're on the front lines, because I was thinking that the reason that wartime decisions get made the way they do is that they don't actually see the impact. Well, here's I think that's an interesting point, because here's a thing technically, he didn't because he was a bomber, and so he just flew over and dropped. It was out and was gone and especially towards the end of that. In the beginning he was flying the lead plan to convince his pats, but after a while he was literally kind of, like you said, throw a dart at a dark board and obliterate that city he was so disconto from it that it really truly was yeah. I mean, I think, is what happens now, we're like drone strikes and especially the US government yea. You don't have to feel like. We don't have to worry about yeah yeah, there's it's almost like there's no as places for it. Well, it's not almost there is zero comes actually literally yeah, so there's so American government is the consequence for something happening. Yeah like they're. Just like we are going to murder. Everybody, but it did pet cool. It did spark an interesting thought for me because he sure I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I have always been, and if you listened to our Nagasaki here steam episode and really any episode where we've talked about the military, I'm pretty against what we did at Nagasaki and her Shima Yeah. I think it was unnecessary. Seeing this story, though, is pretty interesting, because we pretty much flattened the entire country, every major wit, even there they had not, and they had not yeah, they had not was pretty coreman to, and so a lot of people say if it weren't for the atomic bombs we couldn't have got them to surrender. They never want to surrender if he were for the time it bombs and hearing this story. I think there's more merit to it than I probably ever would have thought before, because the amount of fact I stationed so much else of Japan and they stillhad not given- and that's the one thing that so I'm saying it like you don't want to like you, don't want to sympathize with enemy m. You know, but at the same time it's like if our government goes to war, you and I aren't ined yeah in that so like if we die as casualties. You know war, that's just like yeah, I don't know, that's just it. None of it. War is never good exactly, and I think I think that's that's what you see with lame is out in peace. He wanted peace. He wanted a just war that ended in the least o Mon casualties in war. It totally twisted him and I think, that's just like a picture of the problem of war like there comes a point where you get so deep into that, and I think his quote is is perfect because he says if we lose this war, we're getting tried as work criminals. I think there is probably a part of him that knew I have to finish this now. Yeah Yeah, you cross the line and he's like we have in a win the Japan to at two, probably we have to yeah and that that's why now after seeing this before, I would have said, any country knows that nuclear war is futile. Were all dead if we did this thing as soon as you engage in a once that you do or guy that's yeah, it's there's no turning back on it right, at least in the at least. In your mind, you can't escape that, and so you just have to keep pushing further until you are the last man standing and so anyways, that's critise and the Babara they untold amounts of distraction. So yeah and Possum was just working at Yeah Carl senior, the whole time yeah and he was real upset and he was like guys. This isn't what we wanted, yeah and then he's like, but hey. I came up with his new Colt Toy, called the Bobbit, pull it twist. It pop it fiddle it off things of last night is a production of space. Tim Media produced by Christian Taylor. Audio is edited by Alice. Garnett video by connee social media is run by Caleb Walker and graphic designed by Caleb Goldberg, our host or Jaren Myers and Tim Stone. Please follow some social media at Tillin podcast, that's till in podcast. Leave a review comment subscribe wherever you are. Thank you for listening to things on the last night. I


In the wake of World War I, virtually everyone on earth knew that we could not afford another war as treacherous as the great war. So, in the US, a group of military leaders forged a small group that would come to be known as the Bomber Mafia. Their theory sounds primitive today, but at the time, it was groundbreaking. … Read More

Stanley Meyer – The Mysterious Death of The Water Car Inventor

10-05-21

Episode Transcription

Made for robots, by robots. Only read if you're weird.

Hey Man, have you ever heard of Stanley R now tried to start this three times, yeah we've had to cut once we tried to start again now: We've cut that yeah and now you're talking about traveling Stanley, Stanley myre. Have you heard of she meyer yeah? No no is is, is my er just stanley backwards, not even go sanomat from holes rea? What oh RAM is Myers back. I got a AH so stanley, Myers Danley Meyer, his brother Oscar, no, his bliss, Stephen stanly and Stephen Yeah they're twins, their other brother got kidnapped for a nature. Verse Nurture Study at Birth, Jo, okay, no, but Stanley is even there their twins yeah, but this is about Stanley. Okay, Stevens irrelevant well, he's relevant he'll come in at some point: Okay in the story, but he's not he's not the character. You know not the ancillary. Well, he is the ESLAR. Actually, okay, you imagine a or were trying to take you out with a teaspoon of water, lest we all knew twenty twenty is on the civic. Well, it's actually this ante, but go ahead. Like that time, I almost choked on a bone swing and apple bees. Thank you for Servastis. We threw an extra five percent for the death things Staley concident. You said traveling Stanley, which is fairly accurate. He did go on tour. I was trying to think of was flat Stanley. That's what I was trying to think of was flat Stanley. That's you never did flast Danley. Did you flash Stanley Yeah Flan Stanley is a you major on. Did you know Flat Stanley? I you do fly. Have you never tried press flast? It's an PA, that's what it I can get a sixty ounce flat stanley yeah. Absolutely it sounds like an PA. No it not that we know what I PAS are. I don't know what that is. Okay Anyway, so I don't know. I couldn't actually tell you what it's saying I so I'm googling it. So I see im like yeah. I real, never sits like a color thing and you cut them out and then you put it an envelope and you mail it and it's basically like a pin, alienate I've heard of that. I never did it, but I heard of that yeah yeah anyway, so yeah, that's not Stanley. Okay, that it's not who were talk. Nanley was was not flat. He was not flat. He was very much a normal sizes human, but people did put them in envelopes and ship them to the make sense ly yeah. How many stamps would you need to ship a person a lot of stamps to ships than I don't know? We should ask way for t remember when they were like selling kids or whatever people thought they were doing. I did not know they did that Bro do you read hold on. I know that you don't watch the news. I know that you only watch youtube news for a lot Nick News. We if they don't talk about in a nick at night. I have no idea to happen and I'm telling you right now, like it, it's not between full House and the cosby show, which is still on air for some reason. Yeah. I surprise you know he's free. I couldn't tell you about it, so yep Yep, my gosh all right, so Stanley Mire, no wayfare was there was a conspiracy last year. The way fare was selling kids and that's why I like, were they actually? No, oh. Obviously, where did the conspiracy come from a thing? I think someone kind of yeah is a q and on thing yeah, I think someone took screen chops to the website, but you know how you can edit a website yeah they just edit it to name all the products. Kids names like you can buy a lot. I think I remember that we it's like put the screen shots to the website and you're like okay, but if he go to the website, doesn't you know also photoshop exists: Yeah Yeah, like you absolute morons, you know that I don't have a chick Folle Tattoo. You Idiots, wait! Really. You know I'm winking for the AIS experience, audible, link! Okay, let me tell you that in the wire Tanami he was an inventor extraordinary from the twenty years. Is The twentieth century, O Nineteen hundreds? No, yes, it saw found his success. In the mid S. early s and he had one invention that propelled him to fame, which was a water power care. He put it in a buggy and it was feeled entirely by water. It was a by steam or like just straight water, H, O M M, and it was really interesting. I guess we could talk about the engine for a second. It was interesting because technically I mean the fuel was water, but technically it ran on hydrogen, because what it did is there was a fuel cell that would take the water and it would split the water molecules into oxygen and hydrogen, and then it would shoot the oxygen out of the vehicle. So that was the exhaust was just oxygen and then it was interesting, shoot the hydrogen into just a normal combustion engine, and that would be the fuel for the engine which were those were two separate things that had already existed. Hydrogen engines were already the thing, but getting hydrogen to put an engine was kind of costly and not practical, and then is that the ECO option is that like? Would that be better than what we're doing yes yeah? It would be because the exactly is oxygen but there's not as much money and water there's. No Big Oil, there's no big water company Sakana do Desani is out here is like we should push this vehicle yeah. The sin like a relate because you run out of water out there. You got to push it yeah to the nearest water hole that brand new disante decide to sin least the all new two thousand and twenty is on De Civic. Is that what Danda is Danda Danda Donde? I was surprised someone already made the joke that Don da Mergi just a black tshirt. No, I haven't heard that. Oh I thought about it. The other day I was like you could merch this. Just black album cover. Have you seen the DANDA ALBUM CAR? No, I'M NOT INTERESTED! Honestly! I could just picture a Black Square and now you've seen it. Oh great literal, this yeah, that's creative anyway. So Danda is desani Honda, the Sani Handa Gasana Desinat. Well, it's actually this on day, but go ahead. That's how they say it. You know if you watch the commerce if you watch their commercial. It's like design day like to Sunday like design to Sunday like on Sun Day so and and the the splitting the Mocolane have been around since the eighteen, hundreds electrifying water, splitting the molecule any mean, even by the time he invented this. We had put the atom, and so we were doing more impressive things, an that he just wouldn't sell in in Atlanta. Why? Because you can't, you can split, hydroid an oxygen, you know, but you can't get the human out of that water from Lake Laner. So the exhaust is just oxygen and use human. That's awful! What he did that was unique was two things one. He put the two systems together, but to what was really unique is he was able- and I don't know the specifics of it, but by the way he charged that water, he was able to produce more energy than made sense, and so it was one of the biggest issues with this idea was that it would cut you when you electrified the water. It would take so much energy that you might as well have just made an electric car because you're just kind of transferring that energy from electricity to the hydrogen, and it's like you're, just just using uthia right, okay, sense, yeah, it was like an unnecessary step. It was like, oh, your for this much power in to charge it to get that much power out. You might as well just put that power into run in the car. Now that makes more sense. Yeah. You say like that. So, needless to say, this was a pretty crazy idea and he went on tore promoting it. Is he driving around a water powered car? Now he had a tour bus and he had the car attached to the torbus makes sense. That's not sure he dropped. Okay, you can just lie to me. You know that it's part of the show it's all just part of the show, so he let's talk about his background before we get too far in to this. This guy. He was your stereotypical like Lincoln, logs kid okay, but without the Lincoln logs. If that makes sense, it was just he was just doing a bunch of unnecessary steps like he would like just drench his lincoln logs in water before we put them together and someone was like you canst do that without the water and he was like yeah, but the water makes it cool is like yeah, but I just love soggy logs he's at Preschool, and the teacher gives him all these in he's like. Why are ye so dry? That's wrong with my damp cabin, I'm just DABBING, my cabin. What are you doing over there cabin Devon? It's like an Eminem sum relaxing in my Daban cabin all Rampin, but yeah. That's like that's like point two seconds of Im Song is like one of those like es down. That's actually the mine yeah anyways. He his brother said in an interview that they they were the kind of kids who they didn't have toys. They made their toys. So those are cool. Kids, yeah, a really cool kids. They were on her very weird kids. Like the like the neighbor and toy story. He made his own toys, but he was a villain. You know. That's a I'm saying: You know that you can either cut it. He either that could go either way. Kin, creativity, all right. Child creativity can go one of two ways. You can either be phineas and FERB. You know, or you can be the weird kid from toy story. Yeah, that's true! The weird gift from toys, though, he's like a almost like a Dr Frankenstein like because he didn't he didn't build toys. He took toys apart and just stuck him together. That's true and he's like you are now one and they were terrifying combinations yeah. It's kind of like Bible College relationships, terrifying comet. You know, because I either just like a person who wants to be a missionary and a person who thinks they want to be a missionary or there a baby head and a spider. That's exactly what I was going to say. Yeah, I was gonna, say: There's a lot of couples at Christian college who looked like siblings yeah. I love the as one of my favorite was playing that game a lot we would just pull people up and be like: okay, siblings are dating and it's hard to tell what it is as the eventually at Bible College. What do you anyway? Never One? Why is he is? Why does that happen? Why does so many people who look the same end up at Bible College? While I was going to say why do you? Why do you I was going to? I thought you were going to ask? Why do couples who look alike in up together and it's because your definition of attractiveness is based off of your face, so you because you think of yourself as attractive but like the human brain goes. This is good. I think that's a real thing. You know that's why yeah I have exclusively dated hot women. I couldn't get an out on side. I couldn't get it out. I want to think o the old yeah. That's why whenever we did that episode about an Italian Barnet, I was like her mom's pretty cute, because we looked in the same. Oh, my Gosh, okay, that's rough, but I think that is real, that the you know your facial features and, and all that I know that's part of evolution or what but yeah I mean it could be and also beg from the inbreeding yeah. That's probably more likely till in kill in Killin lie from the Rido in Kansas City and also ice cream. Funny stuff, you don't want to miss it by ticket still incom that work to can we get a monster truck? Maybe so Stanley Meyer, he we traveling around selling his water vehicle yeah you getting ahead of us, oh so, ahead of us after high school, he got a job and he lived in Columbus Ohio and he got got a job working for a local lab that specialized pretty much in just inventing stuff. That was the thing they're like hey. If you got my idea, build it and then we'll sell it to somebody, there's pores his job and this lab still exists. They actually recently invented released a patent to the market for a drome disruptor. So essentially, it looks like a rifle that when I drones flying around you just like shoot an electric pals at it and it disables the drone. So it's an emp for drunk destruction. So if you're in your neighborhood- and you just hate the drones that the kids are flying around or at the Grand Canyon, Yeah Yeah was the great car the most frustrating day of my life. I know it was for you, but we wake up super early to watch. The Sun Rise, the green in and then an we drank through the night we drove through the E of we woke up in Hollywood. That's true that then we drove through the night at Vegas and then we as the Strip saw everything and then we drove through the night. I was just trying to tell a good story because we're trying to get to the topic of a podcast that I was just trying to take the picture of a exactly or exhausted. We've been up for almost twenty four hours and it was beautiful to watch the sunrise, the Grand Canyon and the we're sitting there and all of a sudden you just here and exact exact O my head. I was like I'm about to fight a like a vacuum. Right now I would like fight. My bakum Zack literally was like pace is like there's a worm of babies. No, I say that all the time like I'll be somewhere and I'll. TAK, your drone and nobody understands it, but I'm just like bats funny yeah. So we could shoot that thing down. Yep Yep shoot it. That's from the lab that Stanley worked out in the S Yep Yep, and so while he worked there, he invented a lot of stuff all over the place like heart monitors for hospitals devices for cooking, like just a saying amount of stuff to the point where the patent office was just like. If something comes across our desk from Stanley Mire, we know it's legit just sign off on it. Like I didn't. Even look at feel dangerous yeah you fill up enough or a poor. You can get away with a lot yeah, so yeah it's hard to verify how many pants he had well did he didn't have him, though the company did well, the company technically had some, but he also did a lot of patenting like as a hobby like he would just invent stuff at home and you dont get stuff patented, it's kind of like a freelancer. You know like the invention, hobos the patenting the hobby, because that hangs, t yeah yeah look at. I do want to invent things as like a patent stuff. I invent things so that I can pat. So I can have a patent yeah. I do I'm just a Patente okay, so he he would have been called Patwor pending, Patrick, why your name is Stanley yeah, but it's like a play on it. You get it right, you get it do get it you're gonna get it you get it you get it, so he he would invent so much stuff in his free time that he ended up either through himself or through his company having, and the number is a little hard to pin down, but everything I found kind of comes out an average of you're not going to believe this two hundred thousand patents no way I ay thought you were going to hype it up and be like you're, not going to believe this twelve ol patterns De we both say: Twelve, that's all wars. I thot you, I sort, I thought you're out to say hey where we we wait before we go further yeah. Have you seen the tiktok thing where we close our eyes, an intuitive, a clamp, yeah, try it. Let's try. I've never done this. I don't know which I e O, but do we just close Riz and Clare close our eyes and then, whenever no, I wasn't ready. Yet I was so explaining the thing you don't have very good intuition. All Right! LET'S TRY! I think I understand you. Don't have to explain it to me: Let's go. Okay. Are Your eyes close! I ain't to it. I think your eyes are open yea. I was gonna. Try to sell it to her, though I was gonna. Try to sell you on that dig all right. Anyway. It was fun all right, so yeah, so he had a lot of patents. I'm going to be honest. I seriously doubt that he had two hundred thousand because because that rate like he'd, have to be inventing like seventy five things a day and getting them patent like an probably more than that honestly. But what do you do? You know, but you like tweak one thing you this is a new like: Can you that it Patnet Yeah? I seriously doubt he had that many patterns, but over how long I mean his career. I don't know exactly how long he started after high school. He was one thousand nine hundred and Ity, so at the earliest started at one thousand, nine hundred and fifty eight and ran in to one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight. So what thirty years sure is that thirty, fifty eight to ninety eight forty years m you're in charge of our finances fun? I use a calculatoryeah you better, the masting calculator also patented by Stan Byer. He invented that so for forty years, but I mean, like you know, that's an average of that was two hundred thousand five by forty. Is that five thousand a year I don't know anybody got a calculate okay. So it's five thousand a year. That's a lot that at least ten a day. That's a lot! I don't! I see, is twelve a day fifteen a day, moving yeah, because I mean when you're patting like there's some development time, there's some time you got to just ate that and yeah. But what if he's like on? Like I mean his name, might be attached to like group things yeah, you know anyway, maybe sure I seriously do ye in ninety eight. I don't like here's A. I don't like that. If I died, that's how you're going to react, you know I don't like that. That's like a comfortable thing for you to react about death. That way or you go, you know, that's like the same day were we're like yeah. I mean this is a pretty interesting topic. Three people died, though, and it's like, I think you should. You should give that more weight is anyway. So Stanley Meyer died now we're not the stupid Capon, the head of that go to your. She has two hundred Ozan Paso as a patents and then do your lesson. Plan. Okay, yeah, sweet thanks Bas, your wife help you make these feters. Not. She begs you to stop yeah she's, like you can't she's like stop calling yourself a teacher. I like I teach people is like now. Do you call yourself a teacher at home? You, like yeah when we met people on my or both teacher you and the like? What grat do you teach, and I say all of them: okay, adults. I teach adults, adults who are too trevet yeah people on the Internet, two hundred thousand pats- I don't know anyway, so in the late es early S, there was this issue going on between the United States and Iran. They weren't friends still aren't and with that there was a big threat of oil and Possifus, because that ran our world, and so because I ran had the largest supply and there was this big conflict. There was a serious threat of if they were to embargo us or to do anything they could kind of cut us off from the thing we need to run our society sure and so Stanley noticed that and he said well. I think I have an idea on how we can power our cars without gasoline and that's where the idea for the the Waterfield car came from, and so we started developing. It came up at the fuel cell and then he bought this buggy like straight up a Dune buggy that you would see in a video game and outfit of it, his fuel cell loveit, and he got some decalre car. What's it hold on Hey Jesus Christ is Lord, you know, yeah that makes sense, got to give a shout out to old, Hey, Zeus, yeah. What is it worth doing? Anything if you're not giving Jesus credit for it? Yeah what's actually crazy. Is that the car runs on wine? You, it breaks down the wine molecules to wire breaks down the water molecules, the hydrogen yeah. That's that's genius. There's a lot of steps involved, but yeah that looks like this looks like it would be in a it. It looks like it would be in the apt butter making days parade. You know like a shriner would be driving that thing. Yeah, that's actually that's pretty accurate. Actually, he would just go. Do Parades Yeah, so he started driving to universities around the country and showing it to the physics professors there and being like look. What I did they were like. Did you set up an appointment he's just like his he moiree to lunch right now? I I just show you, my water, Paturot Lecture Hall, a post, open the doors with the house he's hitting the handicap accessible button to open the doors and he's sitting there. Waiting for to these are slow. One is that is that car water power yeah it's water, watch it sir. We can't allow that on our campus, why it's? You know sorry for driving it on the hallways? No! Actually, it's because it says Jesus Christ is Lord, and you know it is a pretty safe place public university and we can't have any mention of the word so as he's driving around to these all these close professors and showing the technology to them, they're pretty amazed because, as many of them had sent an interviews after the fact they said this shouldn't work, they said it's producing way more energy than you would expect it to sure, given what you're inputting, basically what they were implying, that this is breaking the law of thermodynamics and so they're like essentially he's creating energy and that's physically, not possible. So it's very surprising that this works, so it started to show some kind of almost cracks in what he was presenting, but the professors were still like, but it works and we're kind of amazed at it like this brake. We there's a gas power car that he just was like. It runs on water. People had some theories that that was the case, but allegedly all these professors got a chance to see the inner workings of it in process and said this is functioning exactly as he says it does, and it doesn't make sense, is kind of the conclusions that came to okay, just drove around the country, showing professors his new technology and in the process. I wonder if he was any of them that quit that they saw and they were like yeah. This doesn't make sense to me any more and then they just quit their job. I come and the like. I was going to work at Anny, Ann's pretzels, because physics is a lot. Physics doesn't make sense anymore. They went like like finding out that two plus two nicls five and you're like not of this. None of this is real. Everything is a lie. Yeah, we live in a simulation when home divorce, his wife we walked in and was like. This is over. I think, and she was like what happened and he's like water powered car she's. Like I didn't did I do so. I I say something: No! No! I just surmised that that man died of the hydration because he refused to doing water okarian. It's it's called out of energy. It will put into my body, doesn't make sense it's so in this process he was starting to gain kind of some notoriety and he was being brought on TV shows to showcase his car and do interviews he's kind of becoming this famous person yeah for a hydro celebrity for his water car and people were like. How can I get a water car and he was saying these kind of fantastical things on these interviews. Where he's like he's like you, can he's a because all you're doing is breaking down the molecules he's like you could put any water in this. You could put tap water, you could put bottle water, you put lake water, he's like you could put ocean water, salt, water, it's fine, he said I mean, don't got any water, throw some snow in there. It'll melt, okay head says like he's like whatever you need was obviously full of it yeah, and so we can. We just do the last five seconds of video and just zoom in on Tim's face where he just does: Okay, yeah look. What are you getting? That is a thing after he started his campaign. Yeah there began this strange large scale lawsuit from a bunch of people who claimed he was a fraud, and these were kind of outside people who were suing him for what he was claiming saying. He needs to return his money to his investors because he's lying so he had two or two investors that invested together fifty thousand dollars in the vehicle to fund the project, and these outside people were like your liar, give them their money back and they sue them and in the lawsuit there was a couple of things that were a little shady where, for example, there was a expert witness who, okay, let's suppose, to come, onside and watch the vehicle run and explain whether or not okay. This is actually working or not, and on the day when he showed up Stanley had all these just kind of weird coincident excuses on why they couldn't test the car E A and so it didn't get tested and then the next day there was another witness lined up and he mysteriously drowned Stanley was like. I guess his lungs couldn't do a anging. Here's the thing my car can take salt water. He Paly can't I couldn't how do you know it? Salt, water? He actually, he showed us a. He said: Let's have a drinking contest, your coresus me and it's salt water. That's how one knows that this guy was like I'm Goin to out drink your car, and I prove it's a lot rounds himself in a drinking contest, a couple gallons to drown yourself. Why? I only your kind of so now takes a couple o e O K, Eceptin Yourself, but your body can only take in a couple gallons if you're actually drinking it so either way he could have just had a teaspoon or he could have taken an on. Take tea spoon, a drown yourself yeah. If you get that just right drown, I don't know. If that's true, that's what your mom a I s right! Do you imagine I or were trying to take you out with a teaspoon of water. It's just like gotta get her right and he's like holding your mouth open and he's like, and it dribbles a little bit and he's like. So you were supposed to drown. That is that disignated they call him the Desani drowner yeah. I know yeah, that's Golly! It's time for the COMODATION station Chichi, the part of the show. We read our podcast reviews, because that's the reason we do. This gravy and meats, probably related to meats and gray, says love your podcast. It gives me something to listen to when I'm bored working out or cleaned definitely were to listen to I to listen to this podcast when I'm cleaned, there's some cracks forming and then a board of PhD scientist reviewed his patents and the schematics and his patents, and they came in the conclusion that yes, this would actually do what he said it would do, but they came to the same conclusion that we kind of talked about it secte. They said the energy transfer is so nominal. It's not practical, like ye you're not going to power a car as much as he's claiming you're going to power a car with this, with the amount of hydrogen you're actually producing from this system. So he lost the lawsuit and was ordered to pay back his investors, which didn't happen because after this lawsuit Stanley kind of went a little crazy and believed after believe that the government or some sort of shadow agency was trying to silence his invention, oh, which there's a lot of money in oil. There is a ton, I think, there's a lot of stuff trying to hold like teslas and electric vehicles back, because big water is trying to break in you know. Oil is very profitable and there's some very, very sketchy people in the oil business and so including, but not limited to the United States, government yeah actually and so yeah. He one day, one Fateful Day March, twenty one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight. He was dining at a restaurant. I like to believe it was olive garden. There's no report on what it is, but I like to believe Olive Garden. Yeah just want to make it up. Yes, he was there with his brother, Stephen and Stephen all the while was kind of like his side kick in this process. We kind of left that out of the story, he was like hey we he's like. I was a part of making this car. I asked if he was important and you were like no ly, he was. He was that's how people would talk about our podcast in the future. He Jarnan Tim is tim important. I mean up until that drowning up until I drown my Osla, so no his brother, his brother, was a part of the process. He was like his assistant inventor for this car and so after the lawsuit they were still trying to get the car out there. They just didn't have the funding anymore, like they still had that Patten. They still could use it. They just didn't get to keep their investors, and so they arranged a meeting with these two Belgian investors who flew out from Bell Ja. BELGIA. Are you serious about you? I thought you were doing it for the bit and then I saw the panic in your eyes, Belgium, as e F from Belgium and they're having this oi talking to the path United States states of Belgium. I question just so much about like our life. You know this is one of those moments. I feel like a philosophy, professor, who are not a philosopher for a physics professor who just saw a water powered vehicle. My whole world is shifted, go ahead, so these Belgian guys Belges they have. They were investors who were interested in the car yeah and they were kind of having this meeting eating their bottomless. Salad and bread sticks of carton right and the bells o guys brought their own waffles. So yeah they're like so you can't bring it it's. Okay, we're from Belgia, O and Stanley. He ordered himself. A cranberry juice at this rests is important, yeah, which I was a side bar. First of all, yeah very juice is a rare juice like I feel, like you, don't meet a lot of people who drink crambry juice on the brag yeah, but e one who orders cranberry juice. Out of me. That's like a dolt to ordered chocolate, milk. It was like what are you doing yeah? Can I get it worse? One oeris just milk, but they call it vanilla, milk. You know like he is like. I have vanilla milk. Do you a regular mill? He just goes back is like do we have any vanilla like? Can I just shoot US give them cranberry Julie, so he he orders his cram bridges to way to strops it off they're having their meeting. He takes a sip of his crambrys and immediately just gets up from the table and walks outside and his doesn't say anything just gets up and walked out of the restaurant and his bother Steven says: can you excuse us for a second and he follows his brother outside to find his brother violently vomiting on the street and Stephen Says Stanley what's going on? Are you okay and Stanley says they poisoned me and those are his last words and he dies on the street? Is the cram rat juice man, okay, the Belgiums poisoned in or the restaurant poisoned, Him who's, the Vai or the US government, or the oil companies or the physicists that suit em and then Stephen runs back inside the tell of Belgiums and they had left their clip on ties? Well, Steven actually says he goes in to tell him and he says it blew up the deal Stanley's death because well you may go back inside and he tells him. My brother just died, he's dead and he said that they show you're, saying that the two guys stayed there inside, or at least I mean I would assume twenty something minutes yeah the way he is like. Are they going back and he's like the E L e? I don't know, I don't know where they are or other windows at this place. Can They not look outside? You never looked out an olive garden window before like well just can we just order, I'm sure they'll want yeah something yeah. I want the five cheese yeah. Thank you so much while he's outside they poison dying on the sidewalk. I mean ambulance undoubtedly shows up yeah powered by water. So it comes it's releasing oxygen, so they just put them on to the exhaust pipe and then aside, given the gives man, I just I and is soon is in the front of the ambulance for ever Agin give us some more guests. It's like it's like jumping a car. Oh Ye come on Revenu rivenue, which, and then I mean but honestly, either way. I hope it was at my last words, no matter how I that my old dying in a hospital bed sorata by my family. I do the thing where I pull my oldest in and I go there's a hidden treasure. You know I do my whole bit that I've got playing whole thing a d before and it's they poison, the and thenjust die is so to more or answers to be. I don't know Eve thought about that. Yeah. I thought about a lot. A lot about death lately thought about how. If I wrote a lot of ways, I don't want to die. Okay, you know like that time I almost choked on a bone, a swing and apple bees. I want to die like that. You know in my Sila remember that you weren't there okay, yeah yeah, I oh no, oh I'd like straight up. I thought I was going to die. Did you have to get hamlike? No, I went you have Imala, I I coughed it out, but what was I choking? It's a boneless wing, the breading anyway. I couldn't go out like that. If I died like that, would you make up a lie? No, I probably make fun of it a great. I probably you would go here's how people will go hey, how did Jaren die and you go that's exactly what you would do like it only takes, so he got poisoned by somebody yeah someone poisoned him and the theory is about on who the perie careful jar that simples biggatt was the way you can't say Belgium, but you go perie. It's the way. You don't know all other words, but this you don't even so, O go Barye. You didn't even go perier yeah, it is ever since I had a hundred thousand followers on its rim. Water just doesn't taste the same to me, the Er you know so now I do sparkling water and perie not affiliated with our show M, but feels our cars so, but is enough to drown you this little. Can this kill you, but I'm huge though I'm a large person, this is the size of a monster. Came those big ones. Can we can we make a video of you holding tiny cans of Paria and me holding giant like forty two ounce canzaria and you just like handed? May We just to go cancer pareus cut it where you added to me, and I take it all of a sudden. It's like this big. I did. We figure that out, I be magic. Sorry I didn't mean for a decen. You know I was trying to be more subtle about it, but I also want people to know I'm better than that. You know that's like the whole point of drinking perie yeah, it's the status yeah. We should email them before this episode comes out, so they pay us for us. Hey, we really advertise for you. So a lot of the rear. If that's what we do, if we get any sponsor just we just horribly mess it up: perier cabar juice. You know when you're out with friends- and you just need a good crane, Ned Sipara, you know me, they call me the Cran man yeah. We you saying out journal the time what we stopped, because he just gargles cram bridges, an ther ever that guy's a walking advertisement. That's like a that's the bran. I want yeah he's we're in olive gard and he's like. I love this pair Perry, rear, freer gargling, wow, so anyways lots of potential people have a motive sure could take him out o take out Stanley. If it's true that he's about to topple the oil industry. But what a way to die, though, just cast a little bit of a debt like a like a day WHO's. They you don't even times Eut Yeah, they poisoned me. Yet so many so say that's fun. I like that that I want to go out. Steven seems convinced that it was the Belgians yeah, because when he told them he said he said that my brother just died and he said they had no response. They didn't offer any condolence. They were, they didn't even look shake. My brother was died. Like just spagette got here a few minutes. I got called yeah it's cold now. Did you want cheese on that? Are you going to get a box because we could put it in our box if you're not going to take we your bread, sticksthe, the waitress asked if this was going to be one checker separate, and we said one because we expected you to pay for it. Is that still we started him to pay for it yeah, but now that he's gone, we are all you're, the legal. Next we go take his wallet, please. I like this, a nidis money in this Sade Stephen has left his brother's dead body on the sidewalk to come in and check on. The Belgian deal like his brother is dead on the side and he's just like. I should go see if that deal stolae like ask all espaciously hold that I need to take up. The paramore we take is this: is your decision to make sure we take him off live support, there's Ole blood sayin? This is him being hello, O exhaust okay, could you hear me his wallet it's in his back yeah? Oh sometimes he kept it in the right one check there. Could it be there? I think he did just get a new money clip it's in his shirt pocket actually yeah, actually yeah, that's it! That's it! That's the Yam, the Blue Card yeah, so the other one. Thank you I'll bear a bank. What do you think it is it wait? Is that black card- I don't know what's to all of gardens at eighteen or twenty percent. The pair maker is like probably twenty five, because someone died here. It's not your money. So thank you for serving against Tiffany. We threw an extra five percent for the death yeah, I mean if you're, if you're a waitress and someone dies from your table, you better get a good tip. You know, have you or a love, one been diagnosed with too many advertisements during the Tillin podcast. Have we got good news for you? Our patrons enjoy, add free experience and they get early access to content behind the scene, stuff, exclusive merchandise and access to a private discord channel. We all are in it our producers and the hosts. So if you'd like to be a patron today and solve that problem, why don't you text till in to six sixth, six, six so yeah? So he believes it's. The Belgians and he's reasoning. Is They acted weird which could be cultural differences but also I mean could be legit I be, they didn't understand a word to say, but ye they're like they just came out for the free of God. They were never interested in the car. Yeah go ahead so, but he thinks their motive was Stanley was he was notorious for providing too much detail in his patents. He was a thing about pattens. You don't have to be. You don't have to share proprietary information in your patterns, so there's anything that gives away your secrets. It doesn't have to be in your patent. You can be vague about those segments, sure and you can still get a patent out, and so most people who get patterns about things like a water powered car would be pretty vague about the technology. So that way, other people can't rip them off right, even though it's patent yeah, because after when the patent expires, if you're too clear about how it works, then other people could come to check your patents and re engineer it or reverse engineer or whatever you want to say, but if you're vague, then they have to figure it out themselves. Also, after the patness Yeah Stanley didn't do this, he was very, very clear about how the process worked, and so, since his pass republic record, if the guy who owns the path patent dies, then these guys could just kind of make off with the technology and about themselves. So he believes that that was their motive. The interesting thing is the next year voltage came out with a new ninety nine water power, Dune Bucky yeah, here's a thing I never happened: Belgia never produced any kind. They never these guys never made it so Belgia. You like that they'd! Never nobody ever made the the water powered car from the Belgian to do well for anybody in Delga for that matter. So that's a little shaky. I choose to believe. Do you know where Belgium is Bel go? Can you just switch to his camera and just look at the panic in his eyes? Don't speak in N, it's that as real er. I know it's in Europe shut your mouth. Don't even look at me like that. I know it's in your ope. You can't fool me so yeah, it's somewhere in yer! That's right! FREAKING! I okay, because I think my job isn't to know where things are. My job is to know small amount of details about a dumb story. I found you know a joke that I regret that we didn't make what should have made that Hawaii just made that why you Puttin Norwid, underneath it it looks close enough anyway, go ahead. So here's a thing: the local police yeah love this case because they're like this is the was intrigue. There was potential conspiracy. The detectives were all over this there like we want to solve this. One Super Cran, Berry, Yep, that's not enough! Well, so the corner ended up determining that he had an Annuis, a brain, annuis M, oh, and that's what killed him and so is that what happens you get a brain in m. do you like start poking and stuff? No, so the theory now the leading theory that supports a poisoning is that he was in fact poison by the cram rare juice and that's why he was vomiting sure, but he already had high blood pressure and so the vomiting so intensely like pressured at created all this pressure in his brain. He already had high blood pressure that triggered an aneurism. I got it up here: Cork, okay, there's! No, there's no poison that will actually make in aneurism, but the vomiting maybe could lead to it. It could lead to a aneris. Maybe the coroner says it was natural. It was coincident all that he was von Mony at the time. Maybe had some bad all garden. I heere gonna be like yeah. The DNA showed that it just wasn't his vomit. He was like. I saw him poking and like wasn't his, it was just crabra yeah, so one was walking about at the same time that he fell down with aneris and just started vomiting to near the body and then just left the he stood right behind right, bind and matched his movement. So you could see him from your line of sight. You throw up Stansted. Did you throw off Stephen, tell me right now: Ste you're, the wadding pe Stephen. Did you puke wes killed the gas lighting Steven in the interrogation? Rout the like you did it. We know you did it it. Oh, my God, why would you order cranberry juice, Stephen E H? Who does that I'll just a I can serve I'll, just go she chocolate milk boys and Stephen Stephen and Stanley the whole time Stevens, the one who died now so years later the family held on to this this water power car, but didn't really do anything with it until they sold it to a company. That was like hey we're going to mask produce this and that are going to pay you a royalty, so they paid a down payment. They said we're going to pay you a walty and then they drove to Canada and didn't pay him the rest of the down payment or any royalty and began trying to develop the car, but never put it off. So there's a lot of snow in Canada. They can convert into hydrogen, so the car doesn't exist right now. Nobody knows where it is. I mean it's presumably in Canada, maybe in Belgia, but nobody knows exactly where this car is and theoretically it would work, but there's no real hard proof that it does work as well as he claimed it did. I know where it is where you seen those oceans pray commercials, no, where they're standing in that giant, that of cranberries. You know exactly what I'm talking about the car is at the bottom of the cranberry sea. You know exactly Tsuya walking through the boots. I know step on something kind of hard. What was that? Well? Don't reach him with our gloves. Granberry snake might be in there. The CRANNAR I was speaking at all. It's yeah can't bite their gloves. I do glass, the the cranberry monster will get you. What are you talking about? I was just thinking: Sanitary, okay, now there's eterna ocean spray, a great sponer things I learned last night. I got a lot of PR stuff to do now, guys like much after the quittes. What's in the cranberry juice release pictures of the cranberry monster, I need to see light our footage proving that there's not a snake living, a giant cranberry snake living underneath bucraniumthis giant like Perry, Winkle, oh, go all right! Sorry, we don't know where the car is yeah and it obviously hasn't been invented. So it's here's the thing it's pretty clear that one of two things is happening: yeah either. It never worked in this guy's, a mass of fraud yeah, which is a little I don't know, there's there's evidence for a it's harder now that he's dead, because you don't want to speak ill of him. No, it's okay, especially because he got on well, possibly maybe here's a thing: here's the thing he had two hundred thousand pounds so and he worked at a like a reputable lab, and so it's like oases that he was competent. He was competent, but here's the other side, the flip side of that coin is he didn't, have a formal education, he graduated high school and went to this lab right out of high school and started inventing stuff. Also his invention violated the law of thermatic. So that's a little odd. Also, the Patent Office got to the point where they're, just like whatever he sends us, we'll just sign off on and so yeah could he have just gotten really confident and said: Hey. I could just make something up and just travel the country and get paid a lot of money for it. Maybe maybe he has no there's no past of him being a fraudsters, but he got to the point where he confidence trickster. If you will, he could have just kind of done whatever at this point and got away with it. So is that possible, yeah sure, but here's the thing the car has not been developed, yet oil is still being widely used. Is that a coincidence, cranberry juice kills people by the day how many cranberry juice deaths? Have there been this year? How many more will there have to be? It's a craneman. Do that all day, Ghwat o the Ande Crane Conda is like started multiplying really fast. They called the cranion a craneman. Oh my God, there's no evidence of how it's reproducing never see it so anyways. So there is a strong case for the possibility that he was right and he was silenced and his car got disposed of right so as technology could never exist, but there is also solid evidence that he just made the whole thing up. You just kind of got a flip a coin and decide what you believe really so stanly mire, maybe a truth or may be a liar. Absolutely a cream bar jes fan what you looking for. Looking for a coin to flip, see where we land all right head phone case. Blank side he's full of it: Yeah, not Blang side, not playing side. We're sure that he's right, okay is the worst she's a liar. THAT'S OUR OFFICIAL STATE! That's the till, an official stance that we should do this for every episode now make an official stance on whatever the episodes about great great, throw that guy off things are done. That night is a production of space. Tim Media produced by Christian Taylor, audio by Ous, Garnett, video by Conteret or graphics and or logo by Kaleb Goldberg and our social media is run by Kala backer. Our host, our JERN myres and Tim Stone falls on your favorite social media platform at Tillin podcast. As till and podcast remember, to tell all your friends about us and we'll see you next Tuesday for another episode of things it in last night. I


Stanley Meyer was a prolific inventor in the late 20th century. While working for a local lab, Meyer was on the team that had filed for numerous patents rumored to total in the hundreds if not thousands. However, personally, Meyer is the owner of just over a dozen patents. Regardless, the local patent office respected Meyer so much that they … Read More

BlackRock – The Bank That Runs The World

09-28-21

Episode Transcription

Made for robots, by robots. Only read if you're weird

A man what's up, have you ever heard of black rock black rock yeah? I think it's called a city in right. What is it call? What is that? One is a Cinian o city and that's right, yeah, no, it's not yeah. They sell it as like a fir for a what of reason. It's the really expensive thing at the gift shop yeah, because it's cool it sounds cool upsettings sounds it sounds valuable yeah. It's O name, my kid of citium. I want you to know that you sound vinerable to me. That's my child, that's IT Yeah! I just want you to know you sound up sition and then this is your brother Absurda. Who is an absolute brontean absurd an I welcome the job, a juice subsidia of black rock. He talks about the power of sobbing, I think the well. We were talking about. Why? Don't we hear reports that our money is just flying over the Pacific North West? I'm just not about apple bees, no to which someone you know supersition Ed. Instead, are you in trouble things when I'm sertin sounds like what you would call a comedian? You know if you were like you know, Lek, look this guy's an absurd and okay. Black Rock is a ABSURDI in sent. Okay, Black Rock is what black rock is and is a firm okay investment, firm, yeah they're, an investment firm. Okay, I was going to say they sound like a sketchy company, the wall they yeah. It's I I was like it sounds like a technology company that like went sideways or something but like Black Mirror. Yeah Black Rock is an investment company, Ye that did some sketchy stuff, yeah they're, an investment firm, that's the largest in the world and you've never heard of them on reason for it, because they're buying all the houses yeah actually for real yeah. We'll get to that. Oh I knew some sketchy company was doing it black rock yeah, so black rock, they are the largest investment firm in the world. They manage nine trillion dollar base, that's nine million dollars and nine trillion dollars in assets based out in New York and you've, never heard of him, which is kind of wild. So under the radar yeah they people they refer to it as the world's largest shadow bank, which is fair, which we can talk about that in a second also, some people say they control the world because they control nine million dollars in assets, which is how much is there in assets? What's the total value of assets in the world Earth Voulue, I guaranteed as a Metrico it somewhere. So the Earth, according to the University of California, is worth five quatremain dollars. Wow, oh, but this one from business insiders, it's only a B trilium. So who do you thus? So they own a tenth of the World Yeah according to business recording to business inside there inside dur? Yes, they own a lot pretty much. Well, they don't own that they manage all that assets. They all go out of assets as well, but they manage nine billion dollars in assets. Okay, okay, okay, they're to their total asset value of their own company is a hundred and sixty five billion dollars, there's insane but yeah, so they manage nine million. So if for a business like this, why for a business like this, we need an origin story. So, let's, let's talk about, let's take it back. Black Rock was born in a small town in Texas in the shadows of Oh, my Gosh. I hope whenever I ask you where you're like you know, not that I would ask you all be there but like when someone's like you know, where was your kid born you'll go their origin story. Is the like brassarts a sore topic for Poles. Just there like? No it's a bit. He is. He thinks it's funny. She hate your bits, o she ate them so much yeah, dude, tired of dating girls that hate my bits she hates my bit hey. We should make a sketch show called bit off more than you can chew. Oh jees, that I be good tims noises today are very odd to me. Go ahead, the last one was like when you ask your grandma to tell story from the S Siaes. It used to be and now she's old. So now so black rock black rock founded, what's fan about a guy named Larry Fink Dude. I don't trust him already who he sounds like a guy who's, a on Artic, a manager for an actor in the N S, Yeah Yeah. I am wary fink and let I think take a head shot. I do that radio voice a lot like that old time ready on at it yeah. Well, you know: Do you practice? You know Larry Right now. What I do in the shower is you know, because some people sing in the shower yeah. I don't Proue my radio Voice, I'm pretty good at. I don't need to practice anymore, the right now. What I do, because I just stand there and I'm just like what and then I go previously on big ruther. That's all I do over and over like a watch. Erith shower il times and one welid that and then all was go, also go who win the power of veto and will be used to save in or Sour Sarah Beth or Brittany find out Wednesday at eight seven central yeah. I mean you getting better at that one. I'm getting better at it, you know I'm practice. Well, are you utilizing your shower or short Gary v straight up, I just says like he pictures one of his family members getting shot in the face. Have you seen that Clif? Not He talks about the power of sobbing, and he says they d creates emotional health and so he's straight up like in an interview he's doing his whole hold in the Mike thing aggressively. Just like you know like yeah every morning every morning I imagine one of my closest anlis getting shot in the face, and then I just cried. No, you don't that's what he says and I'm like. I don't know that sounds like you want to shoot. Your sound members in the face sounds like you're, a sociopath and like you're, a murderer way to happens like we should put you somewhere, yeah, very vigilanti, Gary Very Dangerous, so Gary Larry Fink there, you think he got t t e H S, one thousand nine hundred and senty six with a company called First Boston after you got a degree in politics, and so you work for this company to call First Boston. It was an investment bank and he eventually took control of their bond department and why I was there: He created, what's known as the mortgage back to security, which is a very famous yes, security and investment worked out really well yeah in two thousand and eight yes yeah. So that is the the backbone of the mortgage crisis in two thousand and eight. He was the guy who invented that. But at the time people didn't know that was coming and he was lotted as this hero of investing. So he quickly rose to prominence in the field and he was. Can you give us a run down of what that like looks like yeah? So, every time you walk in a room, they play John Sena. No, I meant the can you. As a my health of me. I hate that I tried to interrupt Du just push through see John Travolta warks. No, I said you walk in. You Walk in a room and they play that. Every time you walk, O Okay Gekka. He was like they're hiring John Travolta, no I'm of the mortgage, but mortgage backed loans like can you give a run down of what? What did he invent yeah? So basically MORIAC security, kind of bundles, a bunch of debt or loans, so mortgages were the biggest one and they were the most like valuable because they are seen as the safest yeah but think are going to pay. You yeah exactly, but I mean even things like student loads. Just rang. If you're a bank and you've got that money out, you can bundle it togetherm right, yeah, Yep and then it goes into a pool and then investors could buy shares in that security, and so what it does is it kind of lets. You leverage your loan as almost like a stock, and so then you can have other people, you hay it, and so you have that money on hand and then the other people are still paying it back. So it seemed much safer than a regular lone because you don't have the risk of Oh, it doesn't get paid back, it's going to get paid back, you're going to get the interest on it most likely because it people almost always pay back their mortgages right and but you also can have people invest in that mortgage and then you make money off of it even more, and so it was revolutionary at the time, and it rolls him to this prominence and he eventually like a earned first Boston, a billion dollars. So he was a very successful in the s yeah. In the S and early S, that's a lot of money for them. He was very, very successful in the bank in one tousand, nine hundred and eighty six when he made a poor decision and he lost the company a hundred million dollars and he was ousted lost his job and couldn't find another job. In finance he was like black list as he lost a hundred million dollar yeah. What you which is place it. Can you put this in the vaults right there and he's like yeah I'll, do that yeah and then he he leaves the like. Why are we hearing reports that our money is just flying over the Pacific northwest cash flying? That's where it's that, where I was gonna go at that I was gonna go it. He gets called the next weekend into his manages office and he's like Larry have a question for you and it's like yeah Si it's kind of my intention from another source within the company that, after we gave you that briefcase with a hundred million dollars in it big brief case. That's another thing, but it's not though it's just a check. You know it's Jussiere, not care like we. We got a report from another employee that they saw you walking out of the office that day and he said- and I quote, he kicked open the doors and then he proceeded to yell, to which someone in a super suit responded and said. Are you in trouble and he said no, I'm high on life mutual combat? That's where Phoenix got it he's like he's like when I could do that, so you've not only invented. He invented more man. Security. Also, Co combat this guy's, a revolutionary, so easily lost a hundred million dollars got fired. Obviously I can't find other job because you go in the job and they're like wow. That's really impressive! They're going down your resume and you just put on their in text loss a hundred million dollars, like you, sleep put on there created mortgage based securities, all this stuff and he's going to like. Oh I'm, sorry, Mr Fink, I don't think we have an opportunity for you anything and he's to stare with his brief case of money. Hey does this open the brief case? Does this help? I K it's an empty brief case, it's just as a large, so we can't do anything with that check yeah pretty much actually so he calls up his friend and they buy into a company called black stone that created this comin, a blackstone okay and basically it was the company he worked for, but he did himself, and so they took a five five million dollar line of credit started this company and things are going great, except for Larry has very different systems. He runs by the finance world operates. A certain way lay operates a different way. Okay, for example. He really believed that the people in the company- you need the best people in the world working in your company, and to do that. You need to insenate them properly, so yeah. He would give away major shares in the company to new hires to incentivize them to work for them. Hey if you come here, we'll give you eighty six percent of the company- and you were here the company's yours. You can have it. You can seriously. I it's yours yeah, so that's how I got hired yeah. That's exactly what happened to me, how became mine, and now it's yours, that it's Yoursso, but that didn't go over well with the team and after a couple years of this, it basically became this thing where I was like hey, you got to stop like you, can't keep e given that way, because it got to the point where the company only owned. Thirty five percent, like yeah the rest of it, that the rest of the seventy five percent was employees given off to employees, and so the board was like hey. We can't do this anymore and he disagreed. There ended up being a lot of arguments between him and the other founder and he eventually buys everybody else out, and it's like this is my company now and we're calling it black rock is yeah. We got to change this up and they're like what are you going to do black rock okay? It's the same. You know that right, no, it's not the same. It's the difference, Beteen Obsidian and absurd, an okay which is very different. If you don't know they're different words, all right go ahead: Tim Rock till untill in Killin lie from the Rido in Kansas City and a shirt ice cream. Funny stuff. You don't want to miss it by jacket, Stellano that'll work to can we get a monster truck? Maybe okay, so they end up investing... you should name your kid corner. I hate that. I hate that you hate that it s it s a good idea. I hate that because it yeah just this is my kid corner. Yeah, that's corner stone. I hate that I hate that so much okay, okay, so they positioned themselves different than every other investor in the world, pretty much an tesee options to hyphenate their last name. You know to be like stone rock. No. I was gonna backstone pizza like like a stone. What do they call to ten? Don't? Have I be seen in pizza, yeah black, my kid pizza, cornered, stone up in Pizza, even pizza is, is you go you get it? We can to war with it. We could tie about later yeah. We just have to meet someone with the last name. I would me yeah: Yeah people were like how did you come up with that? Last name, there's a bit. It is a bit, so they position themselves different than any other investment company, because what they did is they said: Hey we're going to position ourselves in a place where, instead of trying to maximize profits, we're going to go the opposite direction and we're going to say, hey we're going to be ready for risk and so they're out of care. If something crazy happened, they're fine is the way they set it up. They weren't so much like hey we're going to make a ton of money. They said we're going to make a lot of money, an es going to stay safe, no matter what happens okay, and so they were really really big on risk. They develop minimizing risk minimizing mes yeah because he lost a hundred million dollars Ye. That's you think, that'd be a priority. That was pretty bad yeah he's I that was rough yeah, and so how do you do that? Then I don't know, I don't know. If I knew I would own it. I don't know yeah you ask Larry we're over here talk about stone, Ov and pizza. Last names, I'm not a billionaire, so they had systems in place to be able to check all the possible scenarios for their clients. Basically, Okay and say: here's all the possible scenarios. Here's our investment plan we're going to kick out the ones that look like they're, going to COSENTIA, go that yeah load and we to keep you in the stuff that is very low risk and they would go to their clients, and that was what they would offer them. They would say: Hey we're going to come, do a risk assessment of your company and help change your portfolio accordingly. So that way, when risky situations come, you're, fine and people paid them a lot of money to do that and which meant in two thousand and eight. They were the only financial institution that was not harmed by the the crisis because they were in a position really. So He created the thing that caused the problem, but he didn't suffer the consequences of that problem. Exactly because the two reasons, one, they were the only company that was set up internally to be able to withstand risk like that downfall like that, but also when the downfall started, everybody came to him and we're like hey how much money do we have to give you to fix this and they just paid him a ton of money to the poor pole like hey, you made, I thing yeah, including the US government yeah, that's what I'm saying yeah the government came to Larry when they did their bail out and they said hey black rock is going to put together our bailout program and they're like we need you to figure out the most important institutions and we need you to craft this system to bail out all these banks, because one they're like you're the only one- that's not armed, so you obviously know what you're doing too were the government. So we obviously don't know what we're doing so. It's a good max mix match good match good match three. You came up with this idea. That is exploding so clearly you should know how to fix it, and for I don't in that's a good log, though of like this was your idea, so you should also know how to fix it and it's like yeah. I mean it was my idea to bring wolves to the twelve year old birthday party, but I don't know how I don't know what to do now. A kid them out as whipping a Adonoi can't get it. You know you know how hard it was to get them here. Yeah Yeah, I do you know a wolf guy. Do you have that sounds like something a youth passer would ask, though yeah I got a Wolf Guy, golly and here so yes, so the US basically gave black rock a hundred thirty billion dollars to figure out the deck crisis, some of which they got to keep ut, most of which they had to allocate wow. The issue with this was it was a massive conflict of, Inter they paid me that much I could probably figure it out. I could probably fix this. Well, not the issue was. This was a giant conflict of interest because who were the clients, the biggest financial insites like a smoker right? Now, whatever is going on with your voice, I take some cat. Is it my cat yeah? I he was like yeah, I mean I think I was like bore you doing like a. What are you doing? Yahwe move into a new studio, I'm going to sound like a new man, I'm going to sound like a new man. I'll talk about this to so you don't feel as let out a I got you the whole episode, sweet and preimagined. You know how how grating this is on your brain right now, yeah yeah! This is what I'm going through over here s. The whole time is like they have a hundred and thirty billion. Now I like a lot of money, but, like you know, for that, I can I now okay, so I'm just saying try harder. This was be less allergic to cass pray, it away. Lord, I come to you a sinner and I humbly repent. My sin is that how you pray dude, that's why you have fire from a church. Every is kind of pres weird, like do doesn't even know how to do this. That's like submit an official document for the firing and it's like speaking of the praise, weird brays, weird and they wrote it. PRA PRA ISE, weird praise. Praise Weird unto was like wait. No, I said he prays weird, and so I was like that's what I wrote I like the way he prays. No, I hear you, I know exactly what you're saying yeah I wrote the same Kara I se praise and worship yeah. I love praising worships. I think o wait. What the time out of the relations. Oh, my gosh. Yes, one of my favorite Salm, Toms Yeah Yeah did you have another bed yeah. I know as you, someone was like: Hey where's, the bathroom you well. Those are our first second and third John over there. So it wasn't a good one, but it's all right. At the B James Is Third Corinthians. So that sounds better. We just had to laugh it out a little bit. You know speak from your Diaphram, so there was still hundred thirty million dollars a across all these financial. The stution, AH, the issue was black rock man, as you can tell Tim, is done with a bit when he pushes o they manage the funds of all of these financial institutions yeah, so they basically got to decide what happens to all of them. What a pins with the money who do we want to bail out we're going to bail out o? I not one o yeah they just. He gave the money, the people who are giving me up to them. We allocated we were I mean we did what the government told us to do exactly. We just happened to do it for all the people. We already had an interest in yeah and they said the government hired us because we know best and we know what ye or have the biggest empson. Then you get new clients because they're like well, the government Tross, some yeah and so yeah, so they into those nine. They became the number one asset manager in the world, while and at the time they were managing gosh. I think that's when they went over a trillion dollars in assets, wow and so made them the largest in the world, massive massive company right yeah and with the added fact that everyone else is tanking hard. Yes exactly, and so so everybody starts coming to them and is like hey. We need you to to risk me and ad, just all of a sudden that began to all the rage, so they did the hen. Did they do the two thousand eight blast the same way they did the two thousand and twenty bail out stuff for the just printing money, yeah, basically yeah, yeah, okay, and so everybody came to them, were like Mangar risk portfolio or whatever, and they developed this system called Aladdin, which is the network of five thousand computers that basically did what they did before Addin, but a computer does it yeah, and so it just manes, also the food company from our college yeah. It's both it's got. They do a lot of stuff. They operated in two vertical. They were like. You know we should get into college dining. I know a laden food service people. They got to pay for it, you know they can't not students so, and I mean it doesn't pay for an you know. They can't you can't you can't have a school, that's a fire fest! You know what, if you got a fire festival college edition, that sounds legits. That sounds like one of those like American pie movies. It is like fire festival, College College, Fire Fest University, so they developed this alowd in software in the software. This isn't like a streaming subscription where you're paying nine ninety nine a month yeah. This is a hundred and forty million dollar a year. Investment Poor Company, POR Company and companies are lining up to get this Aladdin software to help them manage the risk. We got a duke. We got to get into this stuff which to me I'm going to go out on a limb. Let me go out on a limb yeah. If you gunto spend a hundred forty million dollars to pay a company to a year, you be less whisky, I would just say: keep the hundred forty million dollars and make better choices yeah, but that's I mean like, but when you're looking at a Invalis, but an so much tea, I'm saying the revenue that they're doing I mean let's say that things fall apart. A hundred and forty million dollars that year in savings is not going to save them. Yeah, that's true! For a lot of these companies, a hundred forty million dollars is a drop in the PAN and so so yeah, so they they're exploding throughout the two thousand, because what is facebook make a day? Let's take a look, because I remember whenever they got in trouble for boosting video views and stuff, their fine was pretty big, but what what's their revenue a day? Twenty one point: five million ton one and five yeah. They had to pay a ten million dollar. Fine, yes, and it's like all this, give it half a day a stuff yeah, that's crazy! You know that's not bad yeah, so they they blew up in the two thousand and ten right, and I guess what happened: Two Thousand Twenty, two thousand and twenty and o again the only institution that is not harmed by the two thousand and twenty crisis in March. Well, I don't know the PGA wasn't either, though dares a Mo that they, like still did you remember, the PGA took out pandemic insurance in like two thousand and three that's weird yeah. They were like yeah well, because George Bush was warning about George. The Bush was like guys. We are not prepared for a paynim if it happens, so the PGA took out pay the resurch this up, how much they got out the PGA pandemic insurance because I think they paid. I think they got out like seventeen million dollars on that year. So I don't know I may be way more than that. Actually don't think about it. That might have been what they paid in. I'm, not finding PGA, I'm finding Wimbledon, oh the tennis thing yeah did they do it then, and my was I wrong about PG was Wotan. Maybe Wimbledon took out a hundred and forty one million dollars last year, yeah. Yes, that's what I'm thinking of that! THAT'S INSANE! It was one of the elites yeah spe, one of the superiors yeah, one of the better than US says it yeah. That's like the added bonus of playing those games, yeah that you can sit there and know there's people in the world who don't play this game, and you say like that too. If people like Bro, we live in Arkansas. This course is closed. Eight months out of the year, maybe calm down, you know at Tillin we're not just a PODCAST, we're a ministry and our hope is to continue to reach more people with the light and the joy of the Lord, because I remember at the center of all this, the core of who we are. Our main objective is to fiddle off the devil. If you want to help support us in that ministry, please join us on patron. We will get at free episodes, exclusive merchandise, a discord channel or we can discuss everything you want to talk about your dreams, your ideas, your problems, text, Tellin to six, six, eight, six! Six! Do you feel that relief anyway? Here's another advertisement, so in two thousand and twenty the crisis hits they all or companies survive, they're, unaffected and yeah. Anybody who needed some help went to them, paid them more, and so they made a killing in two thousand and twenty and it pushed them up to nine point: five trillion dollars, gee in a set that they're managing, which is unbelievable. Now, that's not money that they have, but the rarer right think managing those which is crazy, and so it's let a lot of people just start to point the finger out them and say hey. This is a monopoly. These people control everything because they make the decisions on how money moves, and so this is part of why the game stop thing was such a big deal, because these were the people who before could decide what happened in the stock market. They could say: Hey we're going to move this money to this fun and it's going to change everything in the market because they just had such an insane quantity that they were managing. They could run in. They don't own it. So they're not technically a monopoly. Technically no yeah and that's a so complicated. Is it technically what they're doing is allowed yeah and they don't have a lot of as many checks and balances that, alas, a lot of institutions because they're, not a bank, there was called Shattock M, so they're not fice, insured they're, not they don't take deposits, they just manage funds and so which I was speaking in shadow banks. I say about the starbuck shadow bank, yeah yeah. Is that what it was? I A E? Are you going to get to that now? You can tell that. Oh because the the money you put on a starburst is then you're exchanging your money for starbucks credit money yeah. So if you've got fifteen dollars on your APP yeah, then you just gave star books fifteen dollars that now they can take loans out as an asset yep. You know so they have at any given time one point two billion dollars on the NAP and that they can take out loans and leverage that money and and move their shares as if that is part of their it's crazy to me. Ah, that's I mean they can give out loans. They can do all that. You know they can manage that money. That's it's really wild yeah, it's bankers, yeah, and that's why every business is trying to do apps now, yeah Sah. We can, let's put a gift cars on Apps, give cards on APPs, so yeah, so they you can order apps on our AP. That's apple bees, apple les, get the Apple Bees right guys. I mean hey for your marketing team seshes, that's free! That's on no ye free, not free! It's! You know, give me boneless wings, but you get it. You don't want, go to a wes outer the back. Our sauce bring back one apple bes re back to the sauce. The hot dry rub too bad. The one next to me is just torn down. Have ever read my appleby's letter on the PODCAST, no Dang it I'm so mad that you just brought that up. Why? Because I was going to insert line after line after a line. Oh from my I've already done like two of them that really yeah and I was going to tramp it all together and then put together the whole thing. It was going to be like me and different episodes suddenly reading you d'eve now for a long time. I thought about the idea when you sent it to me and then like I had thrown in some of them and I kind of forgot for a little while and then I threw and so like. I just hang it cleneen yeah. I still do it wow yeah, because I got on on my phone I'm impressed. No, I we have to give some context now. No, Oh, my God yeah you can you know I'm really bummed about that. That's like! If you it's like it. One day you were like the only have four fingers in this thumb nail. You know. That's like one of those things that I really thought was going to pay off in a little while takes yes, well, I'm so, okay, so tell about your apple be's letter yeah. So if you don't know times obsessed with the it was a buffalo, they did buffalo sauce and dry, rub on it yeah it was this like it was so they had their hot but they're hot sauce right right, but they had as a sauce that was like it was their their buffalo, but they also dry rubbed it before they did. I don't know like it was crazy. It was awesome and I loved it, because we used to go a MES, a lot yeah in college. We will go every week yeah and we're there every week like every Wednesday night yeah, that's how you and your wife, like God, Cos. That's where we had decidi mean that's. Where we decide to Mace me: Did we decide at Apple, be inside an appleby's and we went home a do it well, we sided applebys were like Stein that crescent booth right and it was. It was funny because you know tin, an bree started on opposite ends and they just slowly. You know kind of looped around the move and then all of a sudden he were sitting at to each other and we were all like: Oh shoot. I guess they're. Are you all touching mouths? You know, and I hate that- that's how that's how I ask people if there dating so anyways one day they took away were like you all touch of mouse and they were like. No, you know all right when our comfortable is on March Eighteenth, two thousand and eighteen at eight, fifty eight. What are you I to apes and I try to order that those bon those wings. This is after we moved W we're in can city now and how are those go, those all the things they see that sorry, we don't have that sauce anymore and I was crushed, and so I ordered I don't know a burger something random something dumb, but we're in a big group. I was like a gre from church were in a big group and when tim gets mad, it's hard to hold it in. For him you know I pull on my phone and all my notes out. I wrote a letter to Applebee's that I later sent to them when your indered, it dear applebee's, is with a heavy heart to day that I write you. I have been a faithful apple best customer for years. I watched this one by one. My friends and family began to Bash Apple Bees and turn their back on the bees, but I remained faithful and I defended you passionately a couple years ago I started the Hashtag, save the bees to do my part in making apple bes the Amazon of the restaurant industry. It didn't take off, but it's the thought that counts. But today the worst news was given to me. Your hot buffalo sauce has been taken off the menu. This hot buffalo sauce was on, like anything, I've ever experienced the dry road that, since underneath the glorious sauce created a dry, wet experience that could salivate the mouths of people for miles through thick and thin. This recipe has been there for me. I firmly believe that I never would have made it through my basher's degree if it weren't, for the support that I received from your hot buffalo sauce to day. A piece of me died to day only you on the hold the power to resurrect that piece of me that desperately strives for new life appleby's. I love you, I always have I defended you when no one else has- and I intend to continue, but this I don't know if I can get over this, I don't know if I could return to an Abeles again. Our lives together will never be the same, but I hope no, I pray that way that we can reach some sort of point of reconciliation and repair one of the most influential relationships in my life. Your biggest supporter Tim Stone Yeah. I can't believe you wrote that in the year book I hears, what I know is that their marketing department got to deer applebee's and then they just shut the email right. I got a reply that was literally like as like, as the cand response about the sauce I was like is like thanks to him. Our thanks to me for reaching out sometimes we are as accordingly, we assess how our many items are doing and sometimes manu items need to be taken off or added. So I keep checking back, maybe some day it'll be back, and I was like I emailed them back and I was like I'm. I want that. You know Bain back, I won't be dear Apple Bees. Thank you for this thoughtful response. After prayerful consideration, I probably not be doing. I know it's water, but please don't spit it on my carpet at your prayer for consideration. I will not be returning to any of your locations. I will, however, email store managers. Once a month there. My new male chimp account I'm cap a two thousand for the free version. I am not willing to pay more, so this is so. Please give me the contact em over all two thousand of your stores. I do believe this is the reason your business is declining and you're. Closing your locations is what happens. Tim gets water his mouth. I just try to keep going. I just trying to keep go me and my wife decided that we were going to get married here. I almost proposed at Apple Bees. That's why we relate to my proposal. Actually, hey we're not bringing it. I can find this talk. I honestly thought they needed more time. That's why I did that. We were a dessert. That's all it was that's literally all it is and they're mad about it. I thought they needed more time, whatever man and you guys blame that girl. I was with yeah. I mean there was a period where I was just bringing girls on double dates with Tim and breed to see if they would like one of them yeah and they never did and like at this point, they've just been like Reagan's been around long enough. I guess I just didn't like her either though at this point we have to like her so yeah so anyways. I don't even remember what we were talking about. What's black rock so yeah, they manage a lot of money. It's I'm just mad about apple bees. Now, no they have a lot of assets. They manage these companies. They, you know their monopoly, but technically they're. Okay, that's where we were. We got from APPS TO APPS ES right, so they're, a shadow bank they're, a shoutowker 's. The thing he's what happened in two thousand and twenty though so they black rock the company they saw what was going on in China. No the world, oh and they said hey the housing market right now is wild. Oh yeah, the like this is a safe bet. They just bought all the houses is m they're, going into like twenty thirty percent over. Aren't they yeah they're coming in way over they're going in these bidding wars that normal people can never win with them right and they're, just yeah they're coming in with her Olbein on the illness, and then that way, they're going to try to resell them or I don't think they rent them. I doubt that I don't, I think it's I think they're just got to hold on to and so on and the Dream House that you got out bit on and then not you, but I'm saying like if you were going for a house, you got out bit on it and then, like three months later, you drive by and still no one lives there yeah, I don't erstand it's because an investment company bought it yeah like, for example, there was a new housing development that went up in a town called Kanro, Texas and a box, a rod but okay, unrol Houston, a bunch of buyers were touring the homes like looking for making offers ye back rock bought every single house in the housing development. It's an empty housing development because they own all the houses and they're doing this across the country. They're just buying as many houses as they can and a bunch of people are up in arms about it because we yeah is then all we're doing is sitting on it and expecting to make a profit on estiron sell it for more. So then, you go in they're coming in and out bidding you by ten twenty percent and then later they're going to list it for thirty percent higher than what your original bid was exactly and the thing is, there's a housing shore were never going to own homes. Well, you do, but I'm never going to own a home. So there's there's a housing shortage right now and a lot of people are pointing to value your sayin, it's their fault, they're, saying black rock bought all the houses. That's why there's a shortage and Co can't get houses because he's that's why I'm trying to buy some old apple bees as they're closing what if we lived in an old apple base together? What if we started in Applebee's? What? If what? If we wait until apple be's, a company goes under and we open a place called apple bees kind of like the blockbuster is not affiliated, but it's a you know and only sells in weird hop of a fire, the last apple bees. We are your last applebee's I mean I would. That would be the apple best. I would touch my heart man. I'M NOT gonna lie. I should have read that letter. I'm like sad right now, oh my God, so anyways Larry think is once again he's restored his reputation. That money is lost. He's made way more for companies yeah time Temag in over and over the government again in two thousand and twenty went to him when it was time to do a Pan, so he orchestrated the bill. Laery he's pangs it up. That is a lot of influence. If the government trusts you to do that stuff, I mean like you. You then have influence over politicians, yeah and listen to this. They bought up they've, bought up or bought up or merged with a telepen like. If you go to a politician and they're like well, I don't want to do your bidding and then Larry Fakis like well. I own every house in your district. So so, if you want a house O, no politicians don't live in their districts, so mean. If you want a house, so they bought up a ton of companies. Some to I'm saying he could force all the attendants out. He could be like you, don't have anywhere had your distrait there's, nobody in your district, that's what I was thinking your district is. It goes down. That's fair. They've bought up a lot of companies that you probably heard of like Merrill Lynch Barclays, let's see what's another one, you probably heard city bake, Amex John Bid Juice Hi, welcome to Joba subsidiary of black rock like, but you can't say that. Don't don't repeat that! What can I get you today? Any thanks for coming into John be juice. We got a special on this and also do you own a home that you'd like to sell here's your Jew, sir. I remember it's the only juice that will survive a deck crisis, gamages over the whole time, twenty twenty they didn't close it all yeah. We can survive anything, not a glide like cockroaches, but like now, in a nice way like if cockroaches were fruity and cold. I'm glad that you're laughs not in packed by your cat allergies thanks so recently they have been rebranding themselves yeah, because they've been trying to be like we're friendly yeah they own the world. Yeah want people to be happy and were not the bad guys and so they've had some people who havee been like hey you, your investments, it amounts to nine point five gigatons of Co. Two emissions in the world, which is thirty percent of the total energy emissions in the world, is black rock and companies. It theyre message right right, and so they joined an environmental group and they started trying to improve their ESG score, which is their environmental impact and social justice. Yeah concern things like this, and so they're now, apparently shifting away from all of their like coil, Col, coal, coil, coil and all old and coin all and coil production companies to try to have a better score in these things. It's a policy son is yeah, it's pretty obvious Merrill Lynch is the Investment Group that Banco America uses, though yeah so yeah. So and that's the thing they're pretty they're everywhere they they manage or own a lot of the major banks in the world yeah, and so it's like it really is, is really is one of these weird things whets like this. These guys are pulling the strings like at least on my car at least the economy. They are deciding how the economy runs and it's a little sketchy, and so a lot of people are saying hey. We need to deal with these guys and obviously those guys are saying: Hey we're fine. I mean we know what we're doing we're. Okay, we do things well, we've only ever lost a hundred million dollars ever ever yeah, just a hundred million dollars. We also we invented the subprime mortgage, which I mean what for one else name one thing that everybody knows more than that yeah, you can't yeah. We were bigger than the we've rebranded, the subprime mortgage, you know and if we can come back from that think a way we can do for your company, that's the pitch. I H K, that's their pitch yeah, so Larry Fink and black rock a little sketchy. You've never heard of them, and that should worry you, but you know he started his career. Larry started his career with the you know that stuff. I don't want to do it again. I want to hit it timeshare with a very extravagant. You know a boasting kind of thing and they went more quiet yeah today today, there's a dort quote going around of him and he's like he's like he's like I'm home a man he's like I want everyone to know he's like I'm the same turn I was thirty years ago and I think that's exactly how it's going to go when he rides off into the sunset he's Goin to turn his way into his fiddle off. Things are done. That night is a production of space. Tim Media produced by Christian Taylor, audio by Ous, Garnett video by conner bets are graphics and Ar Logo by Kaleb, but Golberg's media is run by Kelaba. Our host or JERN myres and Tim Stone falls on your favorite social media platform at Tillin. PODCAST is till and podcast remember to tell all your friends about us and we'll see you next Tuesday. For another episode of things. I have on last night T T


BlackRock inc. is the largest bank in the world. How big, you ask? Well, it manages an estimated total of $9 trillion. This corporation controls more money than many nations. The staggering amount of funds under its control has led many to suggest that BlackRock owns the world. The scary truth is, they kind of do. The decisions BlackRock makes … Read More

Phoenix Jones – This is Seattle’s Real Life Vigilante Superhero

09-21-21

Episode Transcription

Made for robots, by robots. Only read if you're weird.

All right would you start the gas. I didn't see a is like what we're going to use that whole thing. When now again, would you start? Please: Hey man, hey man, amen, hey man. What's up, have you ever heard of Phoenix Joms Phoenix Jones Yeah as you related to Osmosis, Kasibi, gs or cousins? You know it's ironic because, honestly, honestly, honestly, let me be honest. They I mean you just be as yeah. Just being honest, they can't see you a point at that. It's not up there. I don't have a thing I was gonna say. I was like that Frenok tons osmosis Jones Osmosis Jones is the microscopic version of Phoenix Jes. Okay, actually, because Phoenix Jones is a real life superhero in Seattle, Washington, Oh yes, man I mean he doesn't have super powers, but yeah, so he's a guy who, just what's he doing, I see he's staying on top of buildings, dropping TVs on people ye up there like o. not it's all the timing, yeah and you hear it, and he even does like whistle noises too, with the TVS o the way he goes you know taking out. Crime makes the hit so, which may Richmond has the TV vigilante in Seattle has phonics hooked on unionis Jon. What is he from the shadows of Texas? I will avenge you your son, so he just goes and I er he's got a sup me to lizards, yeah, snake socks. I was going to say the weird drug in Bier in a way he's completely nude under the breaking so no or close on you can't be naked things. I Phoenix Phoenix jots Phoenix, so this guy's a real life like he's a vigil and he's Superhero. No, I hate this. I love it and I hate it so much. I hate that it's so far away from where I live, yeah yeah he's been active. Oh my gosh okay been active in the Seattle area since about two thousand and eleven that feels that feels pretty late to do this. I just feel like a s thing. This feel like in the ninety. Someone would be like I'm a superhero, but two thousand and eleven yeah, that's just after the Internet exists. It's just sad at that point. No, I think it makes more sense after the Internet exist, because it's like is he doing it for the Internet? You know it's hard to say: okay, let's do this. If we're going to have to talk about a super hero we got t tell, is organ story? Okay, so his parents were at the theater one night Phoenix was born Ben foe. Photer was his real name Ben Voter Ben felt yeah. I would go to by Phoenix Jones Tom. You know I was thinking about that. You know there's that trend on twitter right now of the my fall plans and Delta variant and I've been trying to think of. I guess I guess, would my fall plans be Badman's parents and the Delta Varian just be an alley way. You seen that trim on toward I've been trying to think of a good one, yeah yeah, that's interesting. I've also been thinking about like my fall plans and just putting a two piece Bikini and then the Delta variant is like just a youth pastor picture. Is that a good one I'll treat that that one's good o? I like that one? Okay, thanks for I'm grab were collaborating here yeah. This is what collaboration looks like you, the weird eyebrow thing, whatever dude so Phoenix Jones. So is he a solo artist? You See, I don't know what you mean, I mean. Is there a Justice League in Seattle? So here's a big bed o the side pick bin folder bed fetter. He was born in Texas, which sounds like one of the names that you would call a nursing home and be like. Do you guys have been voter yeah, it's really close to bend over okay, you know and they be like a sister got a bin voter yeah. It's people call the bed over yeah, so Ben Fodere foeter Hardy Kid Athletic Jack. Well, he was. He was almost immediately after birth, put into the foster care system, O and kind of moved all over Texas, eventually landing in Seattle, where he was adopted into the photo family. He had one brother named Carlos, the two of them. The car is also going adopted. Bother yes, a great. The two of them became obsessed, withe m n a so they got really into mixed, martial arts. And what year is this? How old is he he was born in eighty eight, so I mean probably like mids early and yeah. It would be my gesiths right now, Yeah Yep, an active in two thousand and eleven yes yeah. So he started he was active like when he was like twenty yeah. He got started twenty three out of the gate. This was his college plans. Well, he gradual I'm glad he graduated college twenty three. He graduated with a masters in Vigil Antians M dividual into college. We want school. So I know I'm a senior a vigil, Anti Valley, Yeah. We're got to make a college emblem for that and everything that's funny. Save the city from cymon coals, a crib o ally, fell apart at the yeah. I know I, the slave o city from stuffin crime into on TVs and save those lives. You know they would be a TV school yeah, yeah, Richmond vigie went online. He went online at Vigilat Valley. What's that? What's that is at Vatera college that did the ads in the middle of the night it'd be like that guy who's, like you're sitting here watching TV, when you could be getting your degree like you o talking about yeah. What was the commercial where the girl was like education connection? I I yeah uncomfortable we should. We should take out local ads for Vigilante Valley. Okay, what's like make a commercial for this Meta, we should pull. It accepted the movie accepted where they made up that college, make it up and then you know, and then just yeah give ourselves degrees, Beterouge, great yeah, Yeah Yeah, we're we've got credit we're going yeah. I have a credit school. Don't have good credit that we've got credit. Are you accredited yeah it's about five sixty H, so so he so at twenty three. He started this okay, so I childhood he's moving to Seattle. What ye is that, when he's adopted, I don't know exactly what year he was adopted. I just know he's adopted early in his childhood spent l Childhood in Seattle with his brother, Carlos they got into Ma and by the day. That's early for him in May, that's still yeah. It's the early phases, UFC still kind of a budding thing in the s it was yeah yeah. The S is when you Vski of Oh okay became a thing it was. It was still pretty underground in those early days, but they got, they became young adults and they started hiding in amateur fights both of them and they got pretty good. They both went pro his brother, Carlos did make it to the USC he didn't, but they were both still pretty good fighters and so find brother, Carlos succeeded and he's living in the shadows. Well, he I just trying to pay my picture here. I'm trying to paint a more like growing up in the shadows of kiles, because we got. We also got to make a a cinematic trailer for Phoenix Jones. You Know Pretty Cutie shadows. You know board in the shadows of Texas, the Texas heat seeking shade from his brother's shadow sinking, shade from the set hey. Would you give me a favor and shut up? Would you do me in favor and just you know, roll with it? Okay, I'll roll with it go on the next thing I in here any more so he I still care okay, so he he he is fighting on the weekends yeah during the week gets his day job and imagine being a server a restaurant someone's like so like, Oh yeah, like what are you doing is I go? I find the weekends okay, it's aggressive. Would you rather meet someone who's, an amateur, a fighter or someone who's trying to become an illusionist? Which one would you rather run into that you know because both of them are a weird personality, because, like sound cloud, rappers are like sound cloud. wrappers you're like Oh, that's, cute yeah, you know but, like you know the illusionists, you could have a viable corporate career. You know it's trahey. I don't think you may do a corporate corporate boxing. No, but I mean they do have fights and like a lot of those like. Even the amateur fights like they'll have like the championship route will have yeah pris. Is there a way? Is there a road to full time in the May outside of UFC yeah they've got a couple. Other leases- There's Bellator, I don't know, strike forces still around, I'm not sure yeah. So there is it's just like any other professional sport like there's minor leagues, FCS, the Bane Onee, but yeah okay. I felt like you're about to try to make a job okay, so he so his brother made it to the youth is by the man, s UFC. He didn't last long in the US, but he made it and so that I mean they're good fighters. They're good fighters is the point scrappy, scrapy scrap kids, and so he he just, I think, growing up in the foster care system. He said like this heart, and so he was he would always like. He was the kind of guy who he'd be like at food pantries volunteering at food pantries just because and his job he ended up. He found a job working at a day care for disabled kids, and so he was during the week working with disabled children and on the weekends trying to decide in o disabled Chiene wasn't good enough to make it in the kids were a little rout in class. He's like he's like Hey, is on SI weekend. Take this to the weekend right. You sit down, but one night he so he was a dad. He had two sons, okay and one night. He is walking back to his car in Seattle, with one of his sons and someone had broken into his car and shattered the window and it's a terrible feeling yeah pretty pretty upsetting, as whatever happened to you. No, not yet oh gosh, somewhere along the line, his son, like trips in the glass pile and like cuts himself, pretty bad. I get some stitches and, and that moment, Ben photer became Phoenix. Jes vowed to his suds. Like he's like, I will never allow anything like this to come up on you again and that's a little less dramatic than I thought I was going to be. You know. Cadi mean I got my backpack stolen and re wind a broken, and I was like Gosh Ding, like is gotta, buy new wireless headphones. Now I guess that Sucks Dam at this guy's like and this guy's ing one option from the shadows of Texas. I this guy is like he's like holding the glass. It's raining in seal he's holding wadenhoe fingers Slamo his kids, laying there like like like what is lasted. Is Me: What is it uncle Ben a lighting in the street with great he's like dead? I got I like. I will avenge your side of the de like. Can you just help me? With these blot my hand, it's like. I will help the blood of the city. You know there will be no more bloodshed in Seattle, so that jock no joke the next weekend. He goes and he gets. How do you decide on Phoenix Jones, though? Are we going to get to this? How he decides on a superhero at it's, because you got to go through some branding God, you know what, if he's going through like he's like yeah, my superhero name is nightmare. My tag line is sleeveless in Seattle, and so it was like. No it's not it. You can't do that. I gonna do that. Okay, I'M gonna go, I'm gonna go with the I'm going to be mail man you know and my tag line is you've got mail. So was like. Do you have like non Tom, hanks references or yeah? I think it was. I think it was based of some comic book characters that he put together: Okay, okay, an but so that night he was like, never again yeah pretty much, and then he tellit home started doing the spiderman thing of like sewing a suit together, yeah. Well, what he did is he bought a breakaway Tuxedo which the first move. First, the Bet Baiton as Seryoha business account on America. You like, I, would like to establish A. I am Ben Voter, Doing Business as Phoenix Jones R, like okay, yea yea. What does a Phoenix Jones? The company do he's like it's? Not It's. You know you'll know eventually, actually just wait you if I'm doing my job you'll, never know you know he actually set up but he's at the bank right. So he sets a button down he's like you know. Next time someone comes in to rob this place, don't push the call button underneath the desk push the Phoenix Jones, but it's an easy button that o I'm Sir with sharp. He replaced the audio in it, but he did reprise it all the way. So you still hear that that was easy, but like say that that was easy and over over top of it is just like Belikeit's. Just like yeah, I mean I'm going to reduce the crime rate in this city and the person the banks is like okay. Well, here's your check. Yeah takes it to colds. Do they sell breakaways es where they sell breakaway suits it? I don't know, but he gos on we got to buy breakaway, suits how we not have them. That's a good as a genuine see her like how we made it this long with o having breakaway suit. That's a really good question. I don't know I have I okay, so break away. He g gets the breakaway, tuxedo yeah, obviously so spring for the following weekend. He starts climbing fire escapes on buildings and Ethel talks, yeah and his breakaway text, and he sits on the roof like the corner of the roof, tops in Seattle and he's just watching the streets at night for muggings and fights and when he sees them he just turns and he runs down the fire escape to go respond to the fight, and I mean the guys in name of the afier, so he just goes and Moher and just holds them down until the police show up and then is like here. I got you this criminal, where you go and they're like okay, what we also have to rest you for assault. I give you a call a he's like no t, superheroes say that though he I'm a hero, it's not saying that he's humble he like he leaves them tied up with Noble Street and disappears into the shadows on to the up the fire escape. He's watch these. Like sir, we see you cloten the fire skate and he's like. So now. Your close on you can't be naked, he's completely nude under the break away suit. So you quickly realizes a imagine that you're in the building right- maybe you live there, yeah and you're, just in there watching freaking Hbo, you know and then out. Your window is just a guy and I didn't see the ask, because in superhero movies, they're going fast right, this guy is just climbing on got climate is don't mind me, I'm just your friendly neighborhood valet driver. It's like Fido with buttons all the way up the side like a man ample, but he didn't get an expensive one. It's like that. It's like that. You know that cheap table cloth like a plastic, that's Otopotee from stains so loud, reorganise how often a mugging is happening for real bad yours out there you're, just like your your like, Hey, get me or a while, and then you just hear what's underneath it what's underneath the tag skin, so he he noticed pretty quickly. He's like this isn't practical for two reasons: Yeah One more than two, but one of the two that he gives blot one. He doesn't want people to know his identity. He's like this is risky business. I can't let people know my identity. My kids are at risk here, yeah and that's what I'm out here. People are going to worse than break into my car, and the other issue was that when he was responding in this Tuxedo people were like. Who is this guy in this taxi? What is this dude in this Tuxedo doing and he's like? Instead, he wants people to be like what is this dude in the super, how gostume doing yeah so they're like? What did you just come from a hosting a Gallo Yeah? What is what's the so he wanted me taking seriously so I gets a superhero Ume made. Who are you I'm the prom king yeah, so he develops his brand now and so oh comes up with Phoenix Johns and he commissions a local company to make him a superior costume. And this thing this is not a. This is not a Halloween costume. This is a ten thousand dollar costume. How do you do that? If someone broke into his car he's paying for the you're telling me he's got the resource? I am convinced that this costume was based off Bible Man. Oh, can I see it. Yeah like this is a legitimate superhis ume and it's got. Is this what they based that Rain Wilson Movie Off of? I don't know what me you're talking about. Do you know I m talking about on, like the rain De wit from the office. Yeah did a movie where he's a superhero or did a show, maybe honestly it might be. I think I remember that movie Super Yeah. You know you might you it might be close okay, but I feel I feel like I watched this know about it. I feel like they set. They made fun of it. I watch a lot yeah there. You go this guy's a little. What he's a little bit more, I think, he's a little more serious than what Rain Welson was in that movie. Okay, like rain Melson, was kind of a joke. This guy is like I'm stopping crime yeah. He have a ten sand, dollar suit and professional head shots, he's dropping that off of the bank as well. He did with his body when he fought crying. He would leave a head shot in his suit. Some people knew he did. I hope they put it in the paper. You know no one's. Looking for pictures of spider man they're getting pictures just leaving freaking business cards a he got. He Vista printed, a D shocks out. He goes have a good night. Miss She's, like runs away like they do in GTA. You know where they just like they just she's running into the wall, she's flitching out or whatever right, and he just confetti head shots and and business cards yeah and then just in an in case of emergency, and they just just disappears. What he's like I leave a head shot, that's funny if he ties them up and put duck tape on her mouth and then, like just tapes, the head shot to this dirt chest at a super hero move right. There EPEITA is in a besmothered man. None of this weak small things. That's a big Superhero Moi, so he you don't learn that at community vigilant school you only learned that in Vigilante Valley till until until I lie from the Rigdon Kansas City and also ice cream. Funny stuff, you don't want to miss it by ticket still incom that work to can we get a monster truck? Maybe yes exactly so. This suit is serious yeah. It's consists of a dragon. Skin brand bullet proof, fess it's covered in stab plating and he's got gear. Yeah. Imagine finding someone in this suit. I know you can't so he's got it's heavy, that's a heavy! I was saying you're fighting the person that also and you're just looking at it. You're doing that. I think you should leave the work just to much stuff on me. I he's got he's, got a bunch of gadgets like freein. Batman he's got a stun baton, so it's literally strange a lot of tin people he's got pepper spray, obviously tear gas handcuffs. He also has the first save kit is a first a kit in his suit yeah. So he's got all this he's got a Udoy Bell. Does he have? Does he have a Phoenix Mobile? No, no! He does not come on. We got to get this guy, a Phoenix orry yeah, you know, or at least a Phoenix for our escape Phoenix forest came the fetid in the all new for Phoenix. It's got pepper spray handcuffs in a first aid kit. I think that's the thing with thirty two miles for Callin on highway, so he just starts fighting crime like yeah and really in his neighborhood just across the city around Seattle, like what the kids doing tonight he's literally. What are this what's his day gather with mom his day. Job He's still a teacher at this day care so by day a sure. How is Your N O was your night? Benjamin, oh just didn't sleep at all. You know this city m. Then your nose is bleeding. Never again. Every time he sees us, he is like you just spaces out work. What are you? Okay? How do you like go? Hey but hill? I to judge you know, but I saw your duffle bag in the playgame and I don't know what you're into but there's a suit of some sort. Yeah there's it's it's almost like a superhero suit and then I'm I'm more concerned with the Terai Talk. Oh I you know, but I so little concerning a little consiny, explain that yeah yeah, so he enlists a friend of his to carry around a Gotashi. Okay, so he's got a videographer yeah. Well, really, his purpose is so that way. If someone tries to press charges on him, he's like I was. It was defense because he had he you're saying that this guy this guy is willing to go under more accountability than a lot of local police departments. Yeah. This guys are all willing when he wear a body came yeah, so he he eventually did start wearing a body came as well, but he has this. Guy Who's just got a go prowl on a stick, falling them around film and everything it does so you're mugging somebody you like give me your Wallet Right. I don't know how muggins work and then you just hear, but you also hear we and you just see and you look over and there's like a teenager with acne and just I don't even imagine like Ol stay, I imagine a two thousand and three Cam Carter with the cream and he's just over there. Just he's like he's, like you hear the sound at first and you like, look behind you trying to see what that sound is and then you an then you an to be rash. Gans rumble as I the psychic is. Never I by the cheesies, are never like elusive they're. Never quiet like there is always just like. I got you a camera. Do Me Yeah Yeah? No, it's not, I say lo, say hello, tick, tack! You criminal thing like he starts fighting and I grabs on me and then and then he goes hey. Did you hit record on that cause? No Hey! Can we start this Selva Yeah? Sorry he's! Oh Ye! You just go back to your mugging I'll, be I'll, be back in a second Ma'am get back here. We got to start the whole thing over, so he does this every night he sits up on the roof, tops and waits for crime, mostly like mostly like muggings or street fights, or even like. He did a lot of like little stuff where it's like. If someone was trying like clearly drunk and they were trying to drive, he would stop them. He would go down and be like hey. You can't drive right now, you're not going to do that, like so stuff, like that, where he was laying front of their car kind of serving pretty much. Maybe like I'm gonna call you a Nuber or, I guess back then and be a taxi. This is, does his suit? Have a phone clip on it? Yeah it's got a Doya, so he is the side kicks name and Kim Possible Ron. No, no! No, not that one. If I, why did you know the Computer Room Kid? There was a computer goom kid yeah man. I forgot all that yeah what's the Sitch, because he would tell of you on to about man. What's his name wait, wait yeah! Does he have a weight that sit in a computer room? Just like? Oh, you got colonels on to Tom He's in it in the beginning, but we'll get to that so yeah. He just sit there on the ritas waiting for crime and then he'd go down and stop it and Alex. I decided to do this. You would be my way right. The turn was a look of concern. The turn was like A. I can't tell if you're serious or not- and I appreciate that I appreciate the look of I'm not going to admit to anything on a live recording, so alex has no way of looking at the camera. On being like. I am not responsible, I'm not a part of this, because this is going to surface ten years from now. This cliff is going to be here a spere yeah yeah. You might want to start a defence make sure your lawyer doesn't have braces, but I want to start your defense now. I talk about that. I'm about to do some vigilant, but divisent all over the city. So I don't like the herb of that. So things are going well and he starts to build like almost this notoriety starts getting brought on like local news, Radio and TV for Inter Otis Mask with his mask. He never reveals his identity and so he's wearing his mask and doing they're asking them like his motivation and what he's doing is a different voice. I don't think so. I don't know. I don't think he does, because I honestly about the time that the DART, the dark night movies, were out yeah yeah, you know so he's like yeah and they're like okay. He doesn't the whole time he's there to not even on air is so hey, thanks for coming in yeah, of course, yeah a do like okay, you can you don't have to do that here, we're not going to tell you body, ten o. What like your true identity. This is my my dad is. Why am so that we know who he is, though they bring the chief that we do now? Oh, I will wait Sorri, so they bring the chief of police on and the chief police is like. You know, we don't advise that anybody does. Does this, but they your gonna? Well, they were like, but Phoenix Jones they're like he understands the law. He knows what he's allowed to do and not allowed to do, and he never crosses the line and he actually he's helped lead us to a lot of arrests and so they're like so I mean we don't advise anybody that does this, we think it's very dangerous and we've told them that we think he's really risking his life, but we're thankful for the service he does to Seattle. Okay, and so he has a good reputation in Seattle. As someone WHO's out actually out there starting the community and helping people from dangerous, drunks yeah, pretty much is just dangerous trunks and drug dealers. He had a pretty big, actually takes down the king pin of the whole area. He was big on drugs like he would he put a lot of drug dealers behind bars, yeah and speaking of over the course of his. I don't know what you call this an you, a speaking of I thought you were about to try to pivot. To our Patriot supporter, I thought for whatever reason: You're like drug dealers behind bars. Speaking up speaking in my head, I was like how were you going to tie that together, yeah I'd like to see this one yeah? I couldn't wait so now, speaking of, do you want to try to do it? Let me try to do a whole lot. O Yeah. Do you got one ready speaking of crowd, funded things because isn't that what a drug empire is it's pretty pretty? Ah, I don't think I want to do that. I was going to say the weird drug and buyer in a way in a way, but the drug is the podcast, the Jugi yeah, that's pretty fair and these stickers you have in your lato anyway. I don't think I'm going to do it. I pass okay cool, so he will do it later. Okay, so wait his suit. You Say Dragon Hide it's a dragon skin brand. What is that? Well, it professis dragon skin. So it's a brand of bullet proof. FESTS! Oh okay, yeah! I thought you were like he's got this suit made of lizards, I'm still on it. You know you get you get. He got a suit made of lizards, yeah, snake socks. That makes a lot of sense wit as to in there, and everything is does it is he takes that sounds like it's word. Skate sounds like a suit that you buy an rescate. Did you see des Kanas New ass? No somebody post a picture of them. I imagine they look like crocks. Well, that's a good! Imagine Nation! That's a good! Imagine that's a really good! Imagine. Are you pulling a picture on I'm trying to find him he's just got so many it's hard to find them, but they were like they were so basic like they were still basic. It's like here they are and someone was like. Someone was like man, tiny's, really trying to bring us into runst with these shoes he looked at a pair of like Dutch clogs and was like. Can we make them Dutch cloth? Can We oh gosh yeah? They look like the shoes and escape like literally that's the shoes in INS game. I don't know dude. I just feel like at a certain level of celebrity. You can sell anything and that's really annoying yeah, it's pretty fesh because he was selling those white t shirts for like a hundred eighty bucks. At one point I was like come on dude anyway. Okay, so chief police likes him. I put some crible behind bars, Yep Yep. Speaking of what you got you did to me. Yes, we kin of allegedly he is helped lead the police to a hundred, and twenty three rests over the course of his career. Okay T as a vigil and Tausen ten years, yeah so he's I mean he's ever in a month he's fit crime which is pretty crazy, but somewhere along the line. Does he have any enemies? Does he have a like very sad to find out? There's no vigilant super villains, Bro- and you know this point of you at- is not the camera on point of you. What I'm a super felling? Would you be my way yea? Would you wade into the waters of El with no he's his O boter calls a rucus? Oh my God, here's Your Day could be rucus Phoenix. Is Me Ruckus. I've come to rug up what you're doing here in Seattle Yeah. I'm feeling I like this yeah, it's shocking to me because you always hear people are like, like superheroes. They bring out the villains. If there were superiors to see all these super villains would o they did it, they did it well, no yeah, I guess yeah. We just witnessed the birth of one memere. I started breaking car windows and know as where I started its my gateway. That's my gamway to super villain is yeah. THAT'S FIT! Well, that's not true. I started by sneaking food in the movie theaters and then I graduated to breaking car windows. And now oh man O Ho Watch out Seattle. A watch out Seattle yeah, so so is his his vigilanti career with pretty well okay, but- and he had a really good reputation, but over time, this reputation sort of started to sour. If you will, Oh because he there was situations, he got him stuff in that some people. Some people in the public had problem with okay, for example, and I think there's a good reason for a lot of this. For example, he had he had come across a group that was dancing in an alley way that he mistook for a fight, and so he ran into the Sally Way and he just pepper, sprayed everybody and also a couple people who just happen to be walking okay. But imagine, though, why are you dancing in Alloway at night? What are you doing? That's Seattle, what he went up to the jets and the sharks and just was like you know, and they were just just dancing at what are you talking at? Were they? What are they filming tick tacks out there? I don't it's too early for that, as I gives me more the alley and and do a vine like what was it then? What year is this? I don't know what year that was. I don't the time one's kind of hard to pin point a lot of these moments in the timeline online, because there's just like there's so many mistake: heames took someone planking as a dead body. You know, I don't know I'm trying to think of the Internet. He he sat them on a log and floated them off into the into the Beano Fikee the whole time teretere committed to planking. So much that they're going to let a strange man. It was a big deal bit o that makes you did not miss the plank and just Nastia log set them on fire, and still last thing he says he's like he's like Lang there on the and the bay, the guys like lighting the match and so he's laying face down planking. He like looks up out of his eyes and he's like he's like hey cool socks, man, oh my he's out there he's just like. I hope we go viral for this and then that I ever recyeve there just like the psychics making the music to play sad of doin up with the check he's like what are you doing, I'm just doing the music. I remember I've been telling you we need a sock, we can put it in post, but he's concerned with the editing process. He's like Phoenix of a done you we need a song yeah. We can put her in post he's like he we'll get it from audio jungle, but we won't take the steps out there all legally down it's the only crime. I permit. How do you it's the WHO is the woman's voice, though she was audio jungle. You know we'll get it for blind Mar. So we get in a couple of these where it's like they kind of turn sour, and so we got a actually a teepee to dance grew. Yeah. Public perception of him is not as gos was it the was it the Jabiak es or whatever finges Persan an they have no face he's like on the top of a building, and he sees a bunch of blue men on the ground and he's just like what are these blue? What's this blue man group, they went right, he runs down and just starts karate chopping, all of them so yeah. So he his public perception has started the kind of salary misreading. Some things. Mis, yes, has some bad calls, so he decides the way to solve. This problem is to found what he calls the rain city Superhero Movement, which it's the Justice League he yeah. He says he says I need a team and he goes on find me await the goes on this rigorous search for his team of Superhero cliges, just posting bro. He actually like it was. It was intense. He did background checks, he did a full interview process, but now legit background checks. He just called your rendon and followed you around. It was kind of like okay, this seems legit. He said this camera man to follow the Fremere you're. Not Supposed to see me, I'm not here. What are you doing? Are You you? You applied to be I so he that's how you found out of things person wasn't worthy of being super her or not, is how do they respond with a respond to a camera guy and they actually had he had a physical test and he in the process of building his crew? He was in another interview and he was bragging about the fact that he had turned down six out of six applicants, and so apparently it was pretty hard to become a rain city. SEPENT high demand, I guess S, he ends up putting together this crew of ten superheroes and my favorite part. Do you get a suit when you join her? My favorite part about this? Is He has his ten thousand dollar Super Ho costume and the rest of his crew and ely taks, either wearing ludor, masks and Bandanas over their face? The person, the Purple Hoodie, is straight up the camera person there in blue jeans. There be Jes, like literally just wearing whatever and then something over their face. Yeah so he's out here patrol in the Seattle streets, with ANTEFA and at what it looks like over time. They did all start to get new costumes, but it Biblemen in there on the on the left over there. In comparison, they still like everybody else. Basically has halloween costume, he's GOIN T sandolos UME. This is a near photo of his crew. He's not worn a mask, though yeah. So this is new, so see I guess we need to get to that now. I guess Ye were a mask and hide that fresh fade. Though look at that it's a sharp hair cut. He is a shy pair cut. He went by the nickname flat top in his MIT, my career, W barber, my Gosh. So then this dude on the other side of the green mask with his neck out. Whatever yeah, it's just a dad. I guess that's an old ned tat, not gonna. Tell guy you're like that. Guy Is forty eight and we older yeah. I think he's older yeah look at at that neck. I don't know, that's an old neck yeah I s yeah! Maybe he's got some wrinkling neck. You thinking not the forty eighth old, I'm saying the guys older than should be fighting crime. Oh absolutely, I e L of these people are older than should be fighting crime. I think that comes a point where it's like you're, an adult. You need to get a real job. You want you. What do you want vigilante teenagers out here? You want vigil Lantin's on the street. That's what you want. You want there to be a cut off a m Um, just what I made it into Phoenix Jones vigilanti program. Did you watch ten titans the drama, the drama that exists among that group? So he starts fighting crime with this crew right. What are they called? The Rain Si rain city super her movement, yeah sounds are going to improve team kind of what the Tursday at night, ten thirty P m. When I start the rain to where in Seattle anywhere, so you pop up shows so they start they break into crew groups and they patrol the city. I and same thing: He always did if crime breaks out they respond and they don't do whatever they can within their league. They have a saying: Do they show up and they're like rain? I e some real rope and I one person's life ever you, it's like you like on and the guys like gone by the time they finished their little. Oh Yeah it because they do a whole intro thing for each individual person and it's like the Camp Carter guys running around it's just like Phoenix todes. Captain Paintball Tiffany es just goes by the first name, just their first name Winolia. My God name is Diana. You don't meet a lot of baby lineal, don't you don't so they when they become a team, they start having more and more issues where they went. They took it a little too far, so it was like a little bit more liable yeah because of my mob mentality. Like that person's, you know Ye. So war reporting a person. I guess we can do it too. The perception wasn't great and so Phoenix concludes the only thing to help help public perception to turn on his team. He holds a press conference at City Hall. Oh my on the stairs of city Ho. This is this. Guy Thinks he's it's amazing. I love it he's on the stairs a city like it's a podium. The chief of police is behind at the mayor's bio mask, but he still uses the voice. She's got his full armor on right and he's gives this speech to the city. It's on mat or local news right, you're, retose, national! It's on local news, Phoenix Jones calls press conference. That's the lead line and she's like the city of Phoenix tuned in on accident. They like O o. This is us, and so he makes his big speech about how much of an honor it's been to protect Seattle over the years. But he's like he's like a few events, have taken place and he's like. I realized the only thing to help me and the rain city. Supere collective is and there's a dramatic pause, and then he takes off his mask and he's like he's. Like I M Phoenix Jones, my name is Ben Foeter, sick, my father, I'm a son, I'm a brother, I'm just like all of you and then he dramatically walks away from the podium and just leaves, and everyone was like Phoenix Jones holds press conferences. Tell us what we already knew and from that bumin forward. He starts not wearing the helmet and he's Gesinge just has his head out. Now he did. He think people were going to erupt, an applause. I don't know what he expected. I think he expected people to like. Oh, my gosh, we know who fas Jones is no been folder and everyone goes and he's like. No, I said poter photer not over, but it was a risky move because he had. He had sponsors for his professional fighting career turns out that worked for him. They liked it and they were like wait. He was, he was doing the prels fighting thing, the whole time, still professionally fighting and he's still working at the day care and the day care it was risky because the day cares like do. We want this guy working with children yeah the answer was no o, and so, but he continues. Fighting ends up marrying another member of the REMIAH. The Rain City is collective. It was actually music collective see where you're collective. What d you say? I said the rain city music collective on accident, because it sounds like what that would be: music, collective raits, practicin, the music city, superhero collective and I was like Nashville's got one to yeah, so he marries he marries one of the one of the other superheroes and coincidently. She becomes the only other member of the supero group with a actual suit and so hold on. No. Why does she look like Megan Kelly? I don't know who that is. I pull onside by side, okay, great you're, telling me: How do I get this to be here? The News reporter Megan photer? Sorry, she probably goes by making Jones. She probably took the Super Hills. Last me, that's amazing, wow yeah, so she gets a really great super. What's her? What's her name flag, SAFF? What Bukta? Oh my Gosh! There are black as before. Now her name is purple rain. Oh, it makes sense yeah and she actually found found it. A A non profit called purple rain that helps victims of dementie domestic abuse she got sued by the she was the Wade. She was the one who was always run: okay, okay, which is kind of annoying that she had the best suit out of anybody else and she'd never went anywhere. Hey. Do you, like our show, when I help us keep doing it? One of the easiest ways to do that is to sport, our merchandise, wear it out in the wild. Tell all your friends they'll be like what is tolon and you'll have to explain what this dumb show is to get access to our exclusive merchandise. Please text tell in to six six eight six six! Thank you so much for your help. Super Her collective fights crime for years things are going great. Yes, the the public perception kind of turn around a little bit after he was like I'm been voter. It was so sad that that we ben potery he's a US fighter. He was like a locally. He had local fame for I for fighting, okay, okay and some people knew him yeah that they were like Whoa. Oh, my gosh that actually harmed his reputation more than it helped him, because people were like okay. Well, what one thing he did. Seattle is a mutual combat city which what that means is, if two people agree prior to it, they can fight in public. What and so, if at any point, I'm like in a disagreement with you we're out in the street and I can respect mutual combat and you'd, be like mutual combat? Do you just say? Mutual combat is at the ree. Does that, like by mutual car, telling me that all these kids down of the independent center that are getting arrested a lot, an they're being like hey, you guys can't fight here? All they had to do. Is I oh, it's mutual combat cut that okay yeah! That's a new video game, so moral combat, but it's just mutual combat. I consent and I the voice goes mutual COMMATA. What say he would go. He'd find these drunks that are doing, I mean the droom and he would be like hey mutual combat and he like yeah, and he would fight these junk people and people were like wait. A second okay, okay, okay, this sober USC fighter wearing a bullet proof that getting consent from these is ripping into a drunk dude on the side of the street. Just mawing him because obviously he's a better fighter than this inebriated white color worker in Seattle and people like. Oh that's, that's weird now like that. Now that we know that it's like. Oh, I don't like that and most of his crimes. That's what that he fought were that and he was walking up to people just so just so we're clear on the whole situation. Yeah no mugging happening just a drunk eye chilling. No, it was. It was a junk guy who was doing something. So I my a yeah he's this guy's. I got here he's like yelling at women he's yelling at Behles, someone on his yeah he's like causing a whole scene or an then you just hear, and then you hear the camera guy and then you also hear mutual combat and the jugs, like Michel Michel, come back to somut combat, say it back whatever I say you have to say back to me: Mitchell got that Simon says: Save e Yol combat. If you say mutual combat, I won't kill you, and so then there was a moment where everything just kind of spiraled yeah. I sure your moments. Okay, so here's real quickly kill somebody real, quick, a couple. Interesting things happen to him. He got stabbed trying to interview intervene in a drug deal which damaged his costume and the most his skin, his body yeah. That was the most important part, though, was the costume. He is bullet. provest, say this life. He got shot in the bullpout, thes sate his life wow, and he didn't have his nose broken with a ton of other minor injuries, but other than that other than those things there. Hadn't been a lot of catastrophic damage to him or anybodyy in his crew or any of the quote: Unquote, victims or perpetrators in the crime sure guys all career. Until one day it was an average night, they were out fighting crime, they witnessed a crime and they were chasing the perpetrator, his crew and when, while they were chasing this guy, there was a drive by shooting and one of the stray shots hit a two one year old girl and killed her and feean girl. That was art of the chase. She was in Indian area, okay and Phoenix the nobody ever caught the shooter. Nobody knows who the shooter was or what the motive was, but Phoenix is convinced that they were after him, which I actually there's merit to, because he had been really putting a hamper on the drug trade in Seattle, yeah I'm putting a lot of dealers behind bars and so there's a merit that there would be someone who would want to kill him, and so what he thinks is that the whole thing was a set up. That was a crime that was faked and the runner took him to an area where the dry bi could happen and they could shoot them and he's blamed himself for that girl's death. Ever since then, and so he started like a big campaign to try to figure out who did this thing and went to like extremely to try to try to solve, solve the crime and fix the situation. But he also commissioned a comic book to tell his story and in the Comic Book They told that story in pretty graphic detail and depicted images of this girl getting hit. And it's I mean it's a real person when people found out that he did that. The backlash was huge yeah and surprisingly, her family is going to be surprisingly. Her sister came out publicly and said that she thinks it a good thing. She she said. I want my sister story to be told, and he did include in the comic at the end, like a hot line for tips like to help yeah solve the crime, and so that really really kind of eroded his public repute reputation. The police didn't want him involved in the city anymore. The public didn't want him involved any more. He was still somewhat active, but he kind of started to recluse back and kind of disappeared out of view. Sthe majority of what he did from that point forward was campaigning to try to figure out who did that yeah well a couple years after that he has been very inactive. He actually was arrested in a sting operation where an sting operation to get him. The police got him on drug dealing and apparently what I so he was fighting the drug things taking the drugs apparently selling, apparently the whole time. He had been dealing cocaine, molly shroms, putting his competition behind bars and dealing drugs the whole time, and so they get him in the sting operation. He a a that crazy goes to jail. Does his time he's out now and goes to jail and is like hey guys remember when we mutually combated its like man? Never should take that mask off in that Press Co. That's where I'm thinking now he's in jail with everyone that he's mutually combated. That's like going to a party of just ex girlfriends, and you walk in you're like this is weird Heah. Is that is weird, it's crazy. How long do I got to stay here? So, in the wake of all this, the Superhero Movement, the rain super her mood. It like starts making all these public statements about what it was like working under Phoenix Jones and how it was a terrible work environment how he promised them all hes. He promised them all bullet. Prove that home this guy's, not a good bomb yeah you promise is honestly, you know, is a really toxic work environment like I was constantly being asked or put in fifty hours a week, I felt like every day was a fight it I mean it just like us taking a toll, my body and my mental health, and you know, and and there was no benefits there was no health benefits. There were well, that's. I think he promised them health insurance and he didn't give it to him, and you were telling me that you're, like you're you're, talking to a guy who's starting a superhero, collective and you're Bargeton benefits you're, just like yeah, but are their health benefits he's like? Oh, there will be yeah a vision, an dental included. He promised all this stuff and didn't fall through me. I got a cavity, but is on wait until our benefits kicking. So there you see re yeah, a hundred percent or HR department. We talk about. You got to go talk to Purple Rain De the caller for rain all the time to just stay in character. A you can't call each other by their birth o names in the office. Does there an office, the other had the tower the rain collective tower, and so okay go ahead, so they end up distancing themselves from from Phoenix Jones and his wife divorces him. She. This is herself from the whole thing because she's, like I'm, I'm doing her own things like I on my not for profit, its name purple rain, but she's probably go like I imagine they go to hospitals and hang out with kids and their super suits and stuff. Well, she she doesn't want anyone to know she's a super, her any more she's like she's like I've, I own a non profit she's like that's what I do called Purple Rain that, like the Super Yeah like that, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know, and I no there was a super shot of so don't talk to me. Hey, please, don't bring that up. No she's like it was like is a hey maco. Combat has me talk out that so so she lies, but the superior collective while Venus is in prison is still functioning in Seattle and still out there fighting crime. He gets out of jail and he's like I be back on the collective, no joke, no joke. He gets out of jail and there's a video of of his crew out there. Fighting Crime and some guy on like a street corner, is like hey. You know, Phoenix is out tonight too, and the guys like what do you just say and that the guy like walks up to him and gets like like I is just what you just say and the guys like Phoenix is out today like what he's a phoenix a guy in a in a suit in this just this phoenix. What do you say to me a like it's Hilarious, because it's like it's almost like he's like jared. Like he's like S, you guys go on Phoenix Out Phoenix Yeah, but now he's still campaigning, try to find the killer of that girl and he's also got a campaigning vaccinations he's trying to get everybody to get it their VAT. You know it's hard to hate the guy, you know, so he and that's what it's, while that he was just taking the drugs and sell and go hold that at arly Ras and through his whole career. He was a like he a face of a lot of campaign guys he was the villain. The whole time is that what you're saying I think so I den't draw that connection. He was the there are no heroes, never meet your heroes. They'll, always let you down Yeer, look up to that! Guy He's a drug dealer. You know yeah at the beginning. I thought you were going to say he got me to honestly. I was going a thought you're going to be like yeah. You know it's finals crime, but also like behind the you know. Bone scenes was just like leading girls on and none of that, but being really inappropriate. But Yeah I was was committing crimes and all the while the the state is in the city is like commissioning him for their campaign, so he's doing their like. Don't do dogs campaign he's Phoenix he's like he's like. Don't do so? Don't do draw and there there's like a nine und one commercial. Well, isn't there theories and studies on how the dare program actually be res Drug use? I have heard that ever then yeah. He was just as a myth or sbot there's a video or a commercial of him on a playground like all these kids are playing and he's like. So I'm gonna fight these kids. If, if you do drugs you're on want repeat these kids up, that's how ushul do it! I O we should do it. The kids on the SWIG, you like you, he is drugs. We git too fur he's kicking up and turns like we will come, is get pulling his Cape is a kid just like don't do dregs stay off the straight? Do It don't do drugs lessen make kids? You were Stovin don mutual comment and his kids, just like me to go a just rocks him do like just watch is easy. I push on the swing. He goes flying something yeah that commercial that commercially literally the kids are playing, and then he just turns the camera and he's like he's like now. Kids he's like what do we do if something really bad happens and they're all like call nine one one and that's why he goes no some good, but it takes two of us. You do your part o shots and they cut that out of the AD. But you know he said it a God. I will any freeze frame in, but if in keeps going he's like no, he saw the final Ed. It was like what I had guys. This is not what I said. Oh my gosh, that's incredible wow! So now is he out there vigil anting to this day he is occasionally out. Now we go fight each other in Seattle and in to to come out, I'm so serious. That's part of the till we're going fees Jones spotting thing we ever do a show in Seattle because we are doing live, shows yeah and if we ever do a show in Seattle, I pray yeah, someone cause some trouble at our s. The little ruck is going, get a little yeah yeah yeah get some rockets out of there and get Phoenix ones to sit there with our luck. You know this goes off on tick, tock or whatever, and you know his stories. While they be got a group of vigil an tins, you know so then they show up all Gensan up the place. That's exactly what we want. We you! What on anyway? What would team titans look like now, just team back where that's straight like a match, one? Where are they now? No, I think I, like wowed team titans like j. If they were dense tea, they were yeah. I was thinking it they're like like. Do we have the crime in the cities too much back brow backs Eh. I saw that language is jokes, and then I did a show a couple weeks ago out in Kansas, and you could watch these kids faces because they were like high schoolers. Their parents brought him in the show, right, yeah and then because they didn't know who I was yeah and so after they're looking, it was really funny or whatever, and while we're talking, I was watching them pull up my ticktock yeah and they can see a many followers. I have on take tack and then you could see their body language change. Yeah like I was watching them like slowly show it to each other and then like then, I was cool. Interesting, you know is a apple high school that doesn't happen to you probe. Have you seen high tors? Do that? No not for, like all of a sudden, you're cool the high school is yeah. That's funny. It's a good moment. It's a good obect, terrified, they're terrifying for that first, like five minutes, because you got to sit there and they're making you justify while you're cool, I hate teenagers, you know and then and then they find out that you're cool in their measurements a this and and then all of a sudden they're. Just like Oh yeah Bra. That story was like great. It was really good a facts. Man. It was a good story like that they strait up were saying facts and cap, and I was like I thought that this was made up. I thought we were doing. This is a bit, Oh yeah, yeah. Now that's how I actually talk yeah. Well, not all of them, but you know yeah anyways, fair. So if you're a vigil lantine stay away from the show, but if you are Phoenix Jones, you got to take it with you. Do you want us to put under Benporben Phoenix Callentes, one or two tickets? Probably one yeah, probably one, probably one yea one, probably one yeah. So I just like at this point I mean there's a chance he's out there. Tonight I mean here's the thing I was a listers if you're in Seattle. I just I challenge you glance up at the at the the roof tops tonight. You might just see Phoenix. What do you freaking Stan was standing on the edge of of one of the one of the Hay. We need to put super here music in the background at this by the way, go ahead, stand on the edge of one of the buildings. Looking around the city never mind all dot on her mouth is looking for crain the city. You see some criminals crime in D, so he's like I got get down of that. It runs over to the nouns over to fire. Scape is climbed on the fire. Skame crime is going on still his timing on that fire escape. I gotta get this crime. I know he's gonna get away. It's not that Mamay. I interest you in some mutual combat, so OOMA's finish chance, o. what's the beat of the fiddle, the things are done. That night is a production of space, Tim media produced by Christian Taylor, audio by Ous, Garnett, video by Conteret or graphics, and Ar logo by Kalu, but Golberg's media is run by Kelaba. Our host, our Jeran myres and Tim Stone falls on your favorite social media platform at Tillin. PODCAST is till and Podcasti remember to tell all your friends about us and we'll see you next Tuesday for another episode of things. I have owned last night. I


On the rooftops of Seattle lurks a hero the city never asked for and barely needs. In $10k armor, Phoenix Jones rushes down fire escapes and across alleyways in downtown Seattle night after night. This vigilante superhero is on a mission to make Seattle a safer place. Even though things started well for Phoenix, he and his team of caped … Read More

Space – Why A Space Colony Might Actually Happen

09-14-21

Episode Transcription

Made by robots, for robots. Only read if you're weird.

Warning this episode may contain information and silliness that not everyone would be interested in a man puts up I'm just hungry, trying get out of here, Bro all right. Okay, have you ever heard of don't look a like that? Go ahead, I'm listening have you ever heard of so I got to your Toch my hand today. I know it's feels weird. Have you ever heard of space? You E you how you gonna do this space there's a few options? Okay, okay, what do you think one space like space, you don't tell you can describe it any more than that. You know like stars and Planets and like other space outer space, okay, other options, the space bar, Oh also, is there? Is there a bar called I'm sure there is this pace bar I'm sure, obviously right, but it's like a mix office and outer space theme Yep Yep Yep like they just have like you know this they've done the ceiling were okay. First of all, I've done given out my million dollar ideas on our podcast okay, but you walk into the bar all right. It's a black ceiling. They got little lights to make it look story, but also they've got like staplers with sad and rings around him Yep. Oh, that's a good idea. You know I like the paper clips from the moon. It keeps trying to search King City and there's not one in kin city. So there's not one in the world. Okay. What was I saying space? Have you heard of space never heard of it? So he's the pig we live on. Earth outside of earth is a place called SPIX. That's all they're. During the Moon, you get up there they've been drinking the fossil fuels. I must get me some mush less kit. Are you trying playing Kennedy as if someone listening doesn't know who Kennedy is guys we've heard about space race, but what, if Space Race Yourself Ole your right to tell us more, you just put your foot on the gas pedal or metal at all. You do things all of a sudden over the past. Like decade or so. Are you are you, okay yeah? I just am trying to mentally prepare for the next forty five minutes of whatever you're going to say. What do you think? I just think that you don't think space is real. That's what I be Therat Earth or I'm an alien team is a fraser to believe in aliens. You have to believe in space. Tim is a flat Earth Quin on Alien Conspiracy, Joe Rogan Lover, and only a couple of those things are true. You're, not it's not that you're entirely wrong. That's like Ol man, here's the thing about space, but you would be the guy that a girl's breaking up with them and you'd go! That's fair! That's fair! That's! That's! Fair! That's! Fair! Yep! That's fair! THAT'S NOT UNTRUE! You'RE, not wrong! You're! Not Incorrect! I would say your l right, oh my gosh, so you get it! It's a call back! I get it! I ithan you! I UNDERSTAND! Okay, anyway. Okay, so space he's a say, here's the thing about it. It's huge! It's never ending. We are where I'm sure it ends it's just expanding. We went to space right. We know not us well, but not as yeah. We went to space and we went to the moon and then we kept going to like near a Thorpe for a little bit and then for some reason we just stopped going to the moon, and then we started going to the space a lot less and then we start yeah. Why was robots up to space a lot less? Is it because it was fake or is it because? Well that's interesting, so a lot of like the space, the moon landing is fake. People will say that that's a that's a evidence for it being faked, because we have never bode to go back, but it's kind of like you know, honestly, honestly yeah, it's a little bit like when you try that restaurant that's got two stars on Yelp and you like we've been there, we did it. You know I tried it. I tried it when I go back Y, a yeah I mean, if somebody I e, take me sure it's like I watched cottium Belati when I watch it again. Why not you watched it, though? You Know How many times I've watched hotty been malady. I know I don't I don't. Let me get my minder anybody got gloss. This is the time that I watched Hattie on August. Second, I think I'm in the es how Y Booly, I think, I'm in the a sad, oh, my gosh, it's such a good movie. I love how you would breathe upon it, not punish but train. Your dogs me and Reagan have been doing that to each other. Since we left your house, you mean because for anybody who doesn't know, I have dogs, Yep and a wife named Bri glad you mentioned her first at pardon, so that part of the story is hard to bear by it's, not on social media. Well, she is I'm blocked. I don't know I do anyway so, but when your dogs jump on you, instead of being like no, you guys are going Oh you're offended, but you're going. Oh, what Quincy Yeah we we bitterly will do this yeah you'll do like a shame game with them, and I want you to know that me and Regan went to your house and then for the next week and a half preceded any time. We got annoyed bit each other. I would literally would look at her goal. She left her coffee Mug out on my coffee table. Then I went. How long has this been this books, several hours old Reagan, T so fun space space? The reason why there Swedish people in space actually yeah so there's there's some are other coutures going yeah. Let's. If we go to the moon and the other, and then we were like we can't go up. There is too crowded it's kind of like whenever you're like a photographer, and you find a really good picture spot you post at Instagram, yeah, it's like whatever that bridge is with the railroad. You know that everyone took pictures on when instagram was first pictures. You know now instagram s like we're. Actually tick, Tock yeah, but like before that when it was a picture AP and you had the Cano Yeah and so camera yeah, but it's like a photographer goes to a good picture spot first and then everyone else is like is like were went, go there! That, yes, is that what happened in the moon? This is a gen question. That's actually a good analogy, so I don't it is. I don't care about wasting people, so nobody else went to the moon except us we're the only ones who actually successfully made it to the moon. That's another reason. Some people think that we never actually made it. Here's a here. I might be a moon conspiracy person, then here's the thing. Here's to other people went no just us. I think other people got like probes, but no persons. That's like that's like being like yeah. I got a girlfriend. Only I've met her yeah. You couldn't get there, you couldn't get you couldn't do it. You could a you, could a go: yeah she's for a different school. Here's a thing! Here's the thing new! The crass tis Tyson actually talks about this, and his point is very: I love his chicken nuggets yeah. He makes great nugs so ye the Grossy nugs Grassy, I love his high school he's, got a great ice scale. I was doing it. I was doing a whole thing. That's a safe space that high school, it's really great what they did for Drake there, oh Gosh, so his his point that he makes is that the reason we went to space to go to the moon? It costs a lot of money, yeah and so there's only really two ways. You can get that money you either get it from the private sector or from government, and the private sector was never going to fund that well, and what's unfortunate, is that they are both the same. So you really got to go to the private sector. The problem is, the private stem was never going to find it because there was no the return. The possible return was so far down the line or we're talking a decade at minimum for them to see any return on the investment and it's a gamble because they don't they didn't know at the time what resources like for the private sector at that time, the only thing space travel could get them is mining from like the moon and they didn't know what kind of resources are there. So they were like. It was never something that made sense for the private sector to invest in, and so it had to be government and the government had to invest. Can they mind the moon? I mean in theory. Yes, I can practice it as they've already had been doing it I mean they took. They picked up some rock. What is moon cheese? I T they went up. There were milking cows for milk in the moon. Here's the Moon's utters to just these big utters, stick it out of the Moon Cris and then because it's low gravity, the milk just floats up and you have to catch it. I regret making my joke, I'm really sad of it directing you took it. This is what actually happens. You have a little thought baby right and you and then you and then we co, parented together and take mess it up to make the village yeah Bro. I have like I'm just like look at this this little. This little thought child I've brought into the world and you're like yeah, I'm Goin, to put it in counseling he's the point. Sometimes I can work out really well and sometimes they turn into that. Be careful who you let your children be around. That's the more of the story, Jim. Why did you do that to my thought baby, so the government would have had to fund it for research purposes for the potential of a long term turn because gods, they have longer time scales. They don't have to governments. Are we can result hundreds of years like it doesn't matter there? The government who cares me around yeah they're, like the country I'll still be here so, but what motivated the space race was. This thing called the Cold War and Russia because, because he's the this was the time this was criatin when we were like, if Russia gets up there, they're going to now us from the moon. No really I mean you know Russia just set a new foe. I think I monfort you would see it coming moon missiles, Moon missiles, they're momies. What what I didn't hear these movies sounds like Barnyard, the movie Halloween edition and there's cow mummies. Oh No, there's movies! All Right! This is this cow, just like they already make money is, is we're all you know? How do you make that more mummy is Rayo know. So here's the thing this this this wasn't new, my milk, the more the more I learn about things like space, the cold board, the more the of the Cold War, really like chrome, dome and in Chatre, like just everything that the US government and the Russian government did. Is I've come to conclusion that this wasn't a situation where a couple countries had nukes and they were afraid the other country was going to use it. This was the world's biggest ever. My Dad could beat up your dad, Oh yeah for sure, and what happened was Russia may put a person which all the more incentive for America to fake? It is true rush, a put a person in space and all of a sudden, the US was like. Oh, you went to space we're going to the moon, we're gonna we're going to the moon, yeah and then I've been there. I've been I've been to pet week. I've been in the moon base come on just all. You did was go to spit watch us we're going to do it really high in the sky, were it at what we're a land on O star, and so I was like one bring that back. I think it's not starts it's. Do you know what I meant do you know what I and it's crazy, because Kennedy, the guy who made that famous speech is who said we you choose to go to the moon and the other things. I want to know what the other things are about the way, but I said we choose going moon and the other things, not the because the hard and are you trying to explain Kennedy as if someone listening doesn't know who Kennedy is Kennedy? You know that Guy Ha? What would you know them for man? I can't think of anything important. He did literally a year before that. Do you think he said remind well. That's a conversation off that case. That's a different question, literally a year before that he said publicly. He said I don't see any value in research and space. He said honestly, any value, and a year later he's like we're going to the moon in the next ten years, and so they went by the end of the decade Yep, and so they went and it was convenient that they did it in sixty nine yeah one year a so so they went to the moon and they went back a couple times, but then they just never went back and I think the biggest reason was there. Wasn't this war time threat situation going on any more and there wasn't any any real resource you were gaining from the moon. The payoff is so long term and the cost is so unbelievable high and the risk is incredibly high because I think here's the thing with spaceships is the rockets and rockets are missiles and missiles are made to explode, and so they do that space ships are rockets. Yes, rockets are missiles, yes, missiles explode, yes, spaceships explode, spaceships explode. Yes, it really seriously. It's like one and twenty rockets today. Back then, is worse. One and twenty today explode on takeoff yeah. It sucks, because you know we watch the few SPACEX launches it. Just I mean that's what they're they're literally I mean the design for them was taken from the original design for nukes, like they were literally made to blow up and like that's what they were be dropped in a random like or we dropped in random lake and so they're not good at at making it to space. I mean there there they make it, but there's a fail rate, and so there's a heavy risk right, because there's using do you think that Jeff actually went to space last month, Besos M, I don't know I mean he did. He crossed the line, but his was the line. I don't know, there's a name for it. It's an altitude line, there's a name for it. That's like this is space and everybody's. Like yeah, you made it because at some point, there's no border like there's no, like sign that says hello. Welcome to space like you have to robe. There will be eventually actually, but I mean his like. A road sign literally just went up and then went right back. then. If you miss it, you got to turn around a nowand. Then somebody somebody on that trip, I'm going to throw off the space ship. It's going to go, looks like we're not in earth anymore. I could see Kansas from here. Hey really exciting news October thirtieth and Kansas City Missouri, we were doing a tilling live show. Please get tickets they're available right now until INCOM and we're going to have special guests, a live episode, Q and a bunch of stuff tim right now is researching. If we can get a monster truck there you're going to love it. If you were anywhere near Kansas City or you're able to get there, we want to see you there. So please go to the website. I am by those tickets because the spots are limited, so let's hang out and just keep making some amazing magic stuff together, fit off huh, so space just wasn't economical for a really long time. The only thing that it was used for for after the Apollo era ended. I don't know why I put a pall in air. Quotes: It's not bake. Well, you say that so when the A I was starting to think it might be, I mean there's a lot of good reasons to think it is. But when the power ended, I'm sort thinking it is, I'm glad you said that there's a lot of really good reasons. Actually, I'm glad now you brought it up, I'm glad you said that because I think so no the apoller in did and you think the Moon, leaning fig I'm on the fence, I'm on the space earthwise, I don't know the Apollo er ended and then space became pretty much just satellites. It was we're just going to near Earth orbit dropping some satellites. They did the ISS, but really the big thing was defense, satellites and the so there's a couple of companies that kind of led the game and just dropped a bunch of satellites. I guess not dot like through a bunch of satellites up in a space and they were up there really for defense, so they were helping the government. I threw a final once, I'm pretty sure it's up there, it's a satellite! Now, if you throw up, if you throw a boom Raine far enough, it becomes a satellite, and that's just isn't that I want to get that on a magnet I'm going to make man throw a boomerang far enough should be shaped. Like a like a like a boomerang, I be shaped like a satellite. Well because it's become a sanely yeah, okay, anyway, sorry space, all of a sudden now is becoming, is inter entering this new era where it's like. Okay space actually is becoming economic or frontier yeah, not just not a front here. Well Yeah! I guess it's becoming a situation where it makes sense for the private sector to say I'm going to invest in this because there's a possibility of returns in the short term. Okay, yeah! I A thanks so because there's this possibility of a return in the short term right for space, a bout of these private companies are starting to invest in going back to space yeah because all of a sudden, now it's not just a fence. Now you got companies like Google and apple who are like. We want maps. We want map at caps. You want map hops, so they're going to space for maps. Well, you need a satellite to get those map APPS. Okay, here's this I mean within the last like twenty years. They started map papping, yeah and happening. Then you had tell communications into the game and say: Hey. We can use satellites to make things better dish. Network showed up and they're like we want to put something in space, direct t s like we do too yeah Dat. We can do we're doing we're gonna. Do it the next decade, a Moan. The I t department is like this. This it's not necessary that'll. Do nothing mood chance, like that's just like you know, that's like the CEO swam in some cocaine and then being like Mon. We have more channels on the moon than any other providers. REALLY THAT'S RIGHT! So are we going to do this day? The rest of the episode o ours is visibly uncomfortable, I'm yeah, I'm physically uncomfortable, because I'm going not lean. I feel like I'm leaning further than you are this bit. That's fun, Tout Communications, get the bibles. Are Fans already think we're weird enough yeah, the Tel Communion Tele Commision companies get in the game and then to Er Commutin, the telecast to times the telecom musion, the Tele Commutin companies he said to a and then he tried to move past it telecommunication, I'm a telecommuting, they got into it and then a bunch of industry started like big data starts getting into it. Yeah to one DAB is in Daddy, gets in to provide like logging companies so like. If a log and company wants to buy a piece of land now they turn to a satellite provider to say, hey how many trees is there on this plot of land and they from space will count the trees and then tell them hey. This is a good investors, a computers count them, or does someone sit there and go one to that cope got on now. Is that person is that their job or is that that is their hobby? I'm a tree counter a satellite tree counter yeah, so big data like that and now ai is huge in it. Electric vehicles, especially self driving cars, yeah data pretty quickly and then there's like WIFI providers that are trying to get the wife. I signal all the place and even not for profits. Like the bill of Malindi's foundation, they have a satellite that flies over and prover nations and counts the amount of buildings and villages. So they can get a good number of how many people are there, so they know how many vaccines or what kind of aid to send to them. They just count the the structures, and so it seems to me like a more expensive way. A man is drop it there from the outer trying to make cardes satellite missile now they're, not even cargo colts they're. Just you know, Moon mobs move mothers waiting for the waiting for the goods to drop from the Nomani's like o the moon just shot something. Hopefully it's coming to us. We you an you, see the moon, shoot something like the moon just shot something take a tshirt can from the Moon Monsie. Whoever makes the motional come. Let's get hide me yeah, it's just like some dude who thought he was going to be famous, you know, and he gave up and had to work the sporting events in his town, yeah and he's at the he's, like I'm going to go log sire your fan of become a meteorologist becase, the moon, yeah, and so so your laptop is make none. No it wasn't I so Alex how unprofessional was it? My computer, you got Alyan space is becoming like an industry, yeah and they're starting to fund a lot of projects to get to space, especially people who want to get satellites to space. A like. I want satellites. There's this new thing. There's this whole new sector of small sets where their satellites like the size of toasters and they're. Just like there's, I like Hanes, okay, you're going to space. Can you take our toaster with you? Would you suck it out the way, pay five bucks or kind of like tag? A was like Ye. Take this toaster at the side, capit tape it inside doctae this dust in the side ye we don't have duck tape. We got space tate. It's at the launch, the guys like, runs up to the LAD. It's like. Oh, we got a stricker wait. A second is that a toaster. This is crazy. It's basically suicide to run along guys, putting a blunder on the side of the tap and then that's one of the things that blows up, that guy got blown up, trying to tape a blinder to the side of this, a the satellite yeah. So he really believed in that start up, because all these companies are putting more MOS coworker went on to star Google think about it. What are you doing? What are you do? What are you doing if you would invested a hundred dollars ye this guy's sprint in that a bando runner blend runner Blinda, it's like bad on her, but blend runner is. If you would invest a hundred dollars in him yeah, you would be a billionaire now you could have your be Lena Street. A Indian. Are you C have your own telecommuting so because all this money's getting pumped into Paseos now NASA is a were you trying to make a toaster and space reference like the little to like what is that? What was that toaster movie, the the brave little tester, the brave little toaster, is that the thing you're trying to make movie? No, I wasn't, but I wish I was because I love that movie, the Prim Little Tester an almost said, the toaster that could he could this tester good, so Nass is getting a lot more funding, but from the private sector, who is saying hey, let us tag along on your trip with our little miniature satellite, so they're getting a lot more funding for a lot of these things, which is now opening up this new world where the governments saying okay. Maybe we could continue to research some of these things, and so a lot of really ambitious. New Projects are being proposed by NASA and a couple private sector companies, like guys we've heard about space race, but what? If space race here ouw right to tell us more, you just put your foot on the gas pedal a metal tell you do thirteen. Laugh it labs until the rocket blows up just go until it stops. Good luck. Yeah have fun, so there's a lot of ambitious projects. I'm sure you've heard of a couple of these, for example, NASA wants to colonize the moon yeah. They weren't call in Mars as well yeah yeah they were colonized. The Moon, though I mean imagine, imagine you moved to the moon and then the next year. There's a group that moves to Mars. Wouldn't you rather, but I also imagine I mean you, you aren't a home right and you hate it right. So imagine ill doing all that process. I just you hate that home. You spend so much money on that home. You hate it right. You hate it. I know you do, and so you now we're in though, if you go to the moon, you can't sell that you can't sell your property, the Moon, yeah. Nobody knows what the real estate trains are like yeah, who you got a real turn yeah. I'm a moon, realtor moon, realty earth view realty. Why is it called real estate? Is there faces day yeah? I think there is. We should open up a FAMOSO. The wikipedia article for the colonization of the moon is nice because it starts with this warning. That's warning literally says this article may contain an excessive amount of intricate detail that may only interest a particular audience. You opened it warning. You might not like this warning this one's boring. Actually, can you click that and put that at the beginning of the episode please warning this episode may contain information and silliness that not everyone would be interested in warnynge, not like this. Here's the thing with the moon cony. What they want to do. You might have seen like pictures of it. They want to build like these like domes, that, like you, can that, like they're, almost like greenhouses, yeah an us to live in there and you grow in there and yeah it's like in you go to domes yeah you just. Can you invite everyone over to your dome for a game night yeah come to my dome. Come to my dome home. This is my dome home. My Dome Home. What's up home, he's welcome to my dome home and then one person's you know and then the first person to make their wife I dugs Dale, are the dug the DEMODAMAS, a legend dot dog, Dale, demidofs Dal, no Dimsdale Dins, Damn de dog dimedone, the Din yeah, the one or the demodokos. Stranger things change things Yep, but the first person who makes their WIFI pass for Erver Wifi called the Dimsdale demidos. Ah They won they won, they won the space race and that's really what it's about. It's always been about, because you know you know once one you know one person made the FBI van or you know what are other common ones. I don't know I don't know anyways the real idea for the moon colony, though it's more of a lunar base than a colony, and so the idea is that it's your pit, stop on the way to Mars or other planets or other missions. Oh, so you you leave the earth you go to the Moon, you re fuel and the moon has lower gravity, so you have to use less fuel to take back off and then you can then go further, and so that's the idea. There there's a lot of a couple issues with that. Like one if you're re feeling there there has to be fuel there, that's what I should have to get us in from Er fuel there unless there's fossil fuels on Mars, which is not likely because, as far as we know, there's not fossils on my, as I say, was grinding up fossils. Also, the Moon, the movie I found a fossil the other day, it's pretty crazy and then you just squeeze it hard enough and squeeze you out a little fossil fuel. Yeah you get the gasoline, you see, I drink it, yea that I went really fast from W. I was. I was like three hundred horse power for, like Yeah Twenty least my brain was. I don't think I was moving just Latin your apartment. That's all they're! Do in the moon. You Get up. There they've been drinking the fossil fuels, everyone in their dome. Just like I'm sorry, what's the password and someone's like his dog dog dog, Dindong Doug, but the O is a zero. Have you or a love worn, been diagnosed with too many advertisements during the Tillin podcast? Have we got good news for you? Our patrons enjoy, add free experience and they get early access to content behind the scene, stuff, exclusive merchandise and access to a private discord channel. We all are in it our producers and the hosts. So if you'd like to be a patron today and solve that problem, why don't you text till in to six six, eight, six, six so Mars has another idea, this one's champion by Elon, musk and he's the thing with with elans motivation. He's really the only person, the private sector who's willing to sink the money into going to Mars yeah because he's not going to see any return from it. It's not going to happen, but he really wants to go because he thinks we're going to blow up the earth. Many things we need a back up, but he also wants to be the person who did it like he's pretty full of himself yeah. He enjoys the celebrity yeah. I mean t at that's pretty fair, here's one thing I noticed, though too. I would honestly say that I think part of this change in like this almost like the new space race is Elon's fault. I don't know if faults the right word, but I think he started that the new space race, the new space race, has just billionaire's trying to get to space. No, I would say it's this renewed sense of we're going to space again because he started space ex he's like we're going to March we're going to call and I colonize Mars, and then NASA was like well we're going to the moon again and and Mars, we're going to go to the Mars to yeah it's like that's cute and then Amazon was like. We have a space company and then virgin lactic was like we, a Ken we're trying to like throw your like. Your package is going to switch to three day delivery, but the Middle Day is going to spend it in space is so I mean think about it. Avason Amazon started satellites that shoot your package to your head. You think I mean yeah. If you live in an apartment complex, you better live on the top floor because it's the apartment, colleges, the seat. The roof is just cover. A kitchens now they're shooting that high felot that it's coming through the roof. There pay a long damages. It's like melted, I order coffee grounds or you a goat, greatest o little ash. athetic thanks Amazon One star, but just to wait. It is that. Can I set up a return so elan? He kind of. I really think he kind of drove this forward because he's I'm more to Mars. I really think we need to do it because the word is going to explode because we suck, and so we need a go Mars and he kind of changed this public opinion on it. What I, how long does he think the Earth's going to last? I don't know, I don't think he has a date, but I think he's like we need a back up. I on that he's got a date. I don't think he's like. I don't think he's like April Twelfth, two thousand and twenty seven or twenty seven is going down. So we got to get the bars before then that's yeah. Now I think he's just like as soon as possible. We need to be living on Mars because the human race is deemed, which is which is ironic to me, but imagine you're like that. Twenty five people or whatever selected to live our Mars now and then earth rely, is doomed yeah and then everybody there dies. Here's the thing, here's the thing about that, though I'm a Tu find out to be have Internet with there yet. Well. Imagine this the scenario. Imagine that Earth does collapse and we have a colony on Mars D. everybody on earth is like I want to go to Mars. The Earth is about to explode. Let me go to Mars. You got to make an Ark yeah, and I mean it's gay cost of billions of dollars to get a dozen people there yeah nobody's nobody's, making it nobody's going. It's like you yeah already. If the whole thing is designed that you've got to have fuel and you'll still need resources from Earth, yeah and so well, the thing with the colonies is over time. The intention is that you learn to live off of that planet, and so you learn to get resources off that planet. You learn so Mars is pretty unique, and then you have a kid and you put them out there without an oxygen tank and see if they acclimate yeah yeah. You just keep doing that until they evolve. If we do it enough, the Leval Tso Mars is actually a pretty decent plan. It's a long game, but there is a decent plan for actually like helping develop an atmosphere and learn to live off of the resources on Mars. Moon kind of has one, but I mean the moon is much less survivable than Mars. Here's the thing with with all these planes, though, like I said it's so limited, and it's going to cost a lot of money and it's going to take a long time. I am skeptical of the idea that we need a second backup plan is makes sense because to me, if you're afraid of an aster at hit in the earth, it'll cost you a lot less to just move the astron or like just send a rocket up there to redirect asteroid than it is to set up a colony on Mars, and you can do it faster and then, if you're afraid that global warming or the climate is going to collapse, US it'll cost you a lot less yeah to a ise. If you can figure out a way to make the asteroid part of the culture war. You know like that. Asteroid is bringing socialist ideas to the world. Then you'll get the backing of a lot of people. That's true, that's true! They would like shoot it down, but what we should hear about its history in life and we should know more than kill it. Take it out, blitter ate it. Okay. I think it's funny. We should hear out the asteroid. We should hear it out about. I want to see, I want to see the aspern on Joe Ruggins podcast- Oh my God e decisions. It's funny said that because, because, while I was researching for this, I realized- and I don't know if I've seen any O talk about this, but I think I think Elon Musk. I think his biggest skill and he's pretty smart, obviously he's very rich. Obviously, but I think his biggest skill is he can change public opinion. He did it with papal he he, the first company that really made people say yeah. You know I'll buy stuff online like it's safe to buy stuff online. He did I with Tesla. He made electric vehicles cool, nobody wanted electro vehicles, they were lame, but he turned it to where electric vehicles were something desirable. That was cool and exciting, and then he made, I think, with space if he shifted the opinion of space and got all these companies being like yeah, we need to get to space and with Nerne link is probably his biggest one. He bit o a nerve with Er with an earth. It's nor I mean he. You know how many people say that guns cool again. You know they really went out of style for lemon nerve. He bohack Nero like he hasn't done this yet, but I think that's going to be his biggest one yet, and I think he's I mean because he's got to convince people to put a chip in their brain and did not think that it's the number of the beast, and so he and I said I mean- and you think that, because he's convinced you slashing or to put a chip in your brain, exactly he's here's what I'm saying everything he's done. I think the Boring Company did that. I think I always forget you're. An Elan stand is like you, you have his poster on your wall. I do I have. I have an ELA. I have a muse, a musk, I was. I was cargoed for a second there. Try that put the thing of her. I thought musk poster was an literation and then I was like those are two different letters and I was like thinking I got to find another word for poster and I couldn't so a musk mantle. I got a musk mantle in my house, a Muskmelon le a D. I have monty pictures of e La my and then this jar of Elephant Musk. I have an ivory bust of him in my living room. That's my musk bust. Let's compass, here's the thing he changed his public opinion. I have a Corson, oh my gosh! That's where Musci must get me some musmes. He needs a start, clot better. That needs to be that need to be this luckin. I think it's got us must let's get Usman for some reason. The bottle is unbreakable, like it's just no reason at all. He just like you can't break it. So I I think he really changed public opinion and so he's got his plant in first call is Mars colony, there's a few variations of it, but the basic idea is they're, going to build the domes they're going to have farms underground and then light them. Like a weed farm and then yeah and then over time, begin to rebuild, the atmosphere is going to take long after he died long after he dies and long after everybody who goes their first dies before it's actually like a breathable atmosphere on March, but that's the idea of his overs over time. It's a breathable atmosphere again, the other Nele Crass Hyson, makes a good point about this. NEL Patrick Harris makes a good point of this. I hate you so much for that. That's funny, O! His point is he's like he's like it doesn't make a lot of sense when you think Abou it, because if the issue is we need more space or it's just something we haven't conquered. Yet we want to conquer it. Why? Why hasn't this happened to an Arica? He said. Anarchist stands a much better chance of being colonized than Mars or the moon or any other place, because it's on earth there's way more water there. The conditions are actually better than they would be in Mars, or something like that he's like. Why? Don't we colonize that and he's like he's like? I don't his point. He's like I don't understand why people are lining up to be on the moon, colony or the Mars colony, because it's going to be very unpleasant, and so he's like ask yourself if you would call an Ez an Artica if the answers now then you're probably going to hate colonizing Mars, and so it's a really interesting point. anyways here's, but it feels cooler. It is wake. I don't know anagas pretty cold. I don't know, I think it'd be cool to be in the first group that goes to the Moon, yeah first group that goes some Mars, not as cool to be in the second group yeah. Well, the first group is dying. I mean pretty much guaranteed, so you think so I mean they will most likely die during the mission. If they survive, they will die on Mars, like they're, not making it back. Well, yeah, yeah! That's what I'm saying! Yeah much cooler! Second Group they're still going to die out there m. They stand a better chance to survival, though I think that I think and Elon will say the same thing. There's there's good chance that the second group is going there and their part of their mission is to recover the bodies. Because they're I mean the the likelihood of success on that first run is pretty low. Well, so here another idea that NASA has and think amen did it, though- and he was no talking that talking for the premier NASA- has another idea that they think that they can pull off in the next decade. They call it havoc, which is a great name. It stands for high altitude, Venus operational concept. We go to Venus, they want to colonize Venus. I was just thinking that when you were like well, this makes sense to just do Mars. I was like what are they think in the Venus yeah, so Venus, here's the thing with Venus: It's absolutely inhospitable. We've sent one probe and it lasted two and a half hours before it just obliterated, because the atmosphere pressure is greater than the bottom of the ocean once you get down to the surface and there is an insane amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, so you die in seconds if you got the atmosphere. What's interesting about it, though, is above the cloud cover, there's this kind of sweet spot where you get out of where the carbon oxide zone is and just before, space there's an area that is really similar in climate to Earth. I wasn't even land in that area yeah. I know and that's why it's called the havoc high altitude fetus. They want to build a floating outpost that flies in Venus and so the concept, the concept it's like. It's talking like two hundred years from now come on. No, no. They think they can do the next Kadees there they're lying, they basically they're, like Zeppelins they're, going to take zepplins there and they're going to build taking Kansas City downtown four years to extend the street car you're telling me they're going to build this thing in the next decade. Yeah doubt it. It took the guy from up a couple o weeks to fly in our cartoon. THAT'S A TEIL! What her on to do the there just a Tach, a bunch of balloons to a space station and let him float the all the groups we send to Venus are basically going to die. We're actually going to in the second group to recover the first group bodies and then the third group to recover the second group's bodies and it's just a domino effect from there, but because we have so many people covering bodies, it's a continual eventually a rib land like a little ant hill. You have the have you seen ant save the Queen. If they flow. Have you seen that no were aunts linked their whole bodies together, so the coon can float and like esars, Setine, yeah, wow yeah, so yeah pretty soon this in drowning in Venus, yeah yeah, it's my new EP coming out, but the idea is: if they can do this, for a while, they'll prove the concept and if they can have it'll be like the imagine that you get sent to ven as as a proof of concept like you're gonna die. Where you got Santos, we can do it. No Peas, just a proffer concept. We get more funding later for, like space suit and stuff. Like the people who come act, you ll be able to breathe, but you're just kind of like a big ERRATA. You can breathe because the climate once you get past the cloud cover on Venus is according to Nassa, really similar to Earth. No hundred percent windows down. But imagine you do that. But imagine you're like NASA says this is safe and then you open the door and you go. You Go. Oh I thought, and then you die. The widow of the creakiness sit there in the one deep saw you t yeah it not a solid motion. You were Hitt's why all my windows broke crake. Those windows up and the theory is if this works. So it's going to be a sintia space station. So gonna have a company Wanta doing research and if it works then they're going to build a big base. That is floating you kid. You not that's floating with helicopter arms that are just keeping it air borne, and then they want to build like a city like that yeah. But then we know how that ends. Malfunction repair a well MOUFTI. Have you seen you haven't seen Star Wars right? No, I hate you. I I just man, that's so disappointing yeah. Every time that comes up. I question you Havn't seen the music man right yeah, but that doesn't matter you in the family, the opera. No you haven't seen you haven't seen star w here's. The thing you're asking things like the star wars is important. Okay, here's a have you seen real art. Yeah. Have you seen real art? You don't even know you you gosh. It hurts me it there's a city in unker, there's a city in star wars called cloud city where it's a planet, similar ven you can rely like ads. You could literally make anything up right now. If you want, you can go, there's a sin in okay yeah. So I haven't seen a lot. Muscle literally tell me that and I'll believe you that's what that's what they want to do. They want to make cloud city on Venus. Your Star was fain. You know, ththat means loud city, sound cloud city sounds like a youth group named hey welcome to cloud city. You know that it does. How can I pray for you today? What else is there in space? Nothing, that's the point it's empty, except for all the planets and stars and Galaxies and junk that is floating in a moons and Aliens Yeah. That's right! I forgot about the aliens. Where do they live other planets? Do you think that, though yeah do you think they live in our sour system or do you think they're from other solar systems? It's hard to tell I don't have I don't have a strong, conclude so hard to tell yeah we've never been there, okay, so here's the thing space is a big place and there's lots of room earth is a smaller place. Would you say the space is a big big house with lots and lots of room lots and lots of and like a big Big Table Yep where we can play football walks of. I don't play football at the table: Big Big Yard, where we can play football. Yeah touchdown big big house such don, was the touchdown line actually in the song or was not just in the youth group, but I was just in the: U Curas, just the kid as a touch o him. It's like an the lean on me where it's like I'm goin to need and everybody grabs it. Yeah Yeah, anyways yeah, he's here's the thing about space summer up for me when you're in space so you're. So you say you started this first space satellite e there's a company that was to build a hotel. That's a satellite! That's you just stay there like Zenon and what did you get there and they mess up a reservation? What, if you get there and and the bell hop kicks you out and you're floating through space, now free falling without parachute through space? Does this pose have a pool yeah? Why don't you dive in and so here's the thing, though, space is empty yeah, which means you can't hear, and so oh that's, as you fade away floating into the Cosmos and you're screaming you're screaming, and no one can hear you most people when they die. They have the pleasure this is getting so dark at the you. Okay, I have the pleasure of hearing their their cosmic song. It's a thing that happens. I've heard it I haven't, heard it but Charles he to didn't get to hear his orchestra, but he wanted to were saying we couldn't do any fiddle offs in space. Yeah things on last night is a production of space. Tim Media produced by Christian Taylor. Audio is edited by Alice. Garnett video by connee social media is run by Caleb Walker and graphic designed by Caleb Goldberg, our host or Jaren Myers and Tim Stone. Please follow some social media at Tillin podcast, that's till in podcast. Leave a review comment subscribe wherever you are. Thank you for listening to things on the last night


Since the United States first landed on the moon 50 years ago, the dream of a space colony has been alive in the American consciousness. Is a space colony really possible, though? After 40 years of near inactivity in space, things are changing. Governments are beginning to reinvest in space exploration. Private organizations are also beginning to invest in a … Read More